1 00:00:57,792 --> 00:01:00,922 [Carrie] In a city where cynicism is as prevalent as pashmina, 2 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,500 there is nothing more hopeful 3 00:01:02,583 --> 00:01:05,543 than the "getting ready for the first date" routine. 4 00:01:05,625 --> 00:01:07,375 His name was Will O'Connor. 5 00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,878 He was a smart, cute, urban planner 6 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:11,379 Miranda had met at Starbucks 7 00:01:11,458 --> 00:01:14,378 when he had mistaken her latte for his double caff 8 00:01:14,458 --> 00:01:15,788 and had offered to make it up to her 9 00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:18,075 by buying her a real drink that Saturday. 10 00:01:18,166 --> 00:01:21,536 Samantha preferred the "saying goodnight to the first date" routine. 11 00:01:21,625 --> 00:01:23,625 His name was Sebastian Wyse. 12 00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:26,249 For Sam, it was a very good night. 13 00:01:26,333 --> 00:01:27,793 Meanwhile, uptown, 14 00:01:27,875 --> 00:01:30,705 Trey and Charlotte were practicing their new routine. 15 00:01:30,792 --> 00:01:32,082 Alrighty. 16 00:01:32,166 --> 00:01:33,576 The schooner's got the sails up. 17 00:01:33,667 --> 00:01:35,327 Yes, I can feel it. 18 00:01:36,166 --> 00:01:37,496 Alrighty. 19 00:01:37,583 --> 00:01:39,083 I'm bringing it into the harbor. 20 00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:40,826 -Bring it in. -Okay. 21 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:45,457 All right, here I come. 22 00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:49,170 Here I come. 23 00:01:52,750 --> 00:01:54,290 Honey? 24 00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,000 The wind died. 25 00:01:58,583 --> 00:01:59,543 I'm sorry. 26 00:02:03,333 --> 00:02:05,583 [Carrie] After a week of the same routine, 27 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,667 the only thing getting up in their bed 28 00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:09,080 was Charlotte's libido. 29 00:02:10,208 --> 00:02:11,288 As for me, 30 00:02:11,375 --> 00:02:13,625 my routine had become very routine. 31 00:02:13,709 --> 00:02:16,669 I was spending almost every night in, working. 32 00:02:16,750 --> 00:02:18,500 [telephone rings] 33 00:02:19,125 --> 00:02:20,125 Hello? 34 00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:22,748 Okay, my date is three hours late. 35 00:02:22,834 --> 00:02:24,634 I'm being stood up, right? 36 00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:26,079 [Carrie] Maybe he got lost. 37 00:02:26,166 --> 00:02:27,076 Carrie! 38 00:02:27,166 --> 00:02:29,126 Well, it doesn't look good. 39 00:02:29,208 --> 00:02:31,418 Oh, and I'm wearing a new dress from Barney's, 40 00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:33,080 and I'm eating out of plastic. 41 00:02:33,166 --> 00:02:35,076 Oh, man, I'm sorry. 42 00:02:35,166 --> 00:02:36,456 [Miranda] He doesn't even know me! 43 00:02:36,542 --> 00:02:38,462 The least he could do is wait to get to know me 44 00:02:38,542 --> 00:02:39,632 before he rejects me. 45 00:02:39,709 --> 00:02:41,789 Yeah, that's illegal dumping. 46 00:02:41,875 --> 00:02:43,575 [Miranda] It's crazy. 47 00:02:43,667 --> 00:02:45,577 This hasn't happened to me since I'm 27. 48 00:02:45,667 --> 00:02:48,077 I'm older. I should know better. 49 00:02:48,166 --> 00:02:51,036 I thought I got a little smarter about picking 'em now, you know? 50 00:02:51,125 --> 00:02:53,535 I can't believe guys still stand girls up. 51 00:02:53,625 --> 00:02:56,205 I can't believe I'm eating a frozen dinner. 52 00:02:56,291 --> 00:02:57,831 I'm such a cliché. 53 00:02:57,917 --> 00:02:59,627 You wanna grab a drink or something? 54 00:02:59,709 --> 00:03:01,379 No, I can't. I have to work. 55 00:03:01,458 --> 00:03:04,828 I agreed to teach these stupid Learning Annex classes. 56 00:03:04,917 --> 00:03:07,287 They're calling it "Bright Lights, Date City." 57 00:03:07,375 --> 00:03:09,955 Ugh! I'm so embarrassed for you. 58 00:03:10,041 --> 00:03:11,921 Hey, they're paying me 300 bucks a pop. 59 00:03:12,166 --> 00:03:13,876 It's a seminar on where to meet men. 60 00:03:13,959 --> 00:03:15,749 Apparently, I'm an expert. 61 00:03:15,834 --> 00:03:17,924 Tell them to steer clear of Starbucks. 62 00:03:18,333 --> 00:03:20,003 Who would pay for something like this? 63 00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:22,213 Now? Maybe me. 64 00:03:23,041 --> 00:03:25,711 [sighs] Okay, gotta go. 65 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,330 This dress is making a mockery of me. 66 00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:30,037 I'm sorry, sweetie. Bye. 67 00:03:30,125 --> 00:03:32,745 Please. Bye. 68 00:03:32,834 --> 00:03:35,714 [Carrie] Stood up at 27, Miranda had done nothing. 69 00:03:35,792 --> 00:03:37,212 At 34? 70 00:03:37,291 --> 00:03:39,921 She decided she wasn't going to take this stand-up 71 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,330 lying down. 72 00:03:41,417 --> 00:03:43,707 Will may have given her the cold shoulder, 73 00:03:43,792 --> 00:03:46,582 but he had also given her his home number. 74 00:03:46,667 --> 00:03:47,577 [woman] Hello? 75 00:03:47,667 --> 00:03:49,327 Hi. Is Will there? 76 00:03:49,417 --> 00:03:50,787 [woman] Who's speaking, please? 77 00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:52,035 Miranda Hobbes. 78 00:03:52,125 --> 00:03:54,705 [woman] Miranda, this is Will's mother. 79 00:03:54,792 --> 00:03:56,462 Well, Will's mother. 80 00:03:56,667 --> 00:03:58,577 I don't know how you raised your son, 81 00:03:58,667 --> 00:04:01,207 but he just stood me up for a date. 82 00:04:01,291 --> 00:04:03,131 [woman] Will died today. 83 00:04:06,166 --> 00:04:08,456 -They're starting to die on us. -Oh, my God. 84 00:04:08,542 --> 00:04:10,172 Well, at least you weren't stood up. 85 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,670 Thirty-five and they're dying. 86 00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:12,880 We should just give up now. 87 00:04:12,959 --> 00:04:14,209 Well, on the bright side, 88 00:04:14,291 --> 00:04:16,081 this could explain why they don't call back. 89 00:04:16,166 --> 00:04:17,036 How did he-- 90 00:04:17,125 --> 00:04:19,165 Heart attack, at the gym. 91 00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:20,670 See, this is why I don't work out. 92 00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:22,830 You want to hear the worst part? I felt so bad, 93 00:04:22,917 --> 00:04:25,037 I told his mother I would go to the wake. 94 00:04:25,125 --> 00:04:26,325 You don't even know him! 95 00:04:26,417 --> 00:04:28,667 And it's safe to say she never will. 96 00:04:28,750 --> 00:04:30,830 Well, I, for one, am far from being dead. 97 00:04:31,166 --> 00:04:34,246 I just got us reservations at Samba next week. 98 00:04:34,333 --> 00:04:36,043 Ooh, fancy. 99 00:04:36,125 --> 00:04:37,455 But I could only get us a four-top. 100 00:04:37,542 --> 00:04:39,712 Do you think Trey would mind staying home? 101 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,040 No. 102 00:04:41,125 --> 00:04:43,035 He doesn't seem up for much these days. 103 00:04:43,792 --> 00:04:45,292 [sighs] 104 00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:49,633 Charlotte, is everything okay? 105 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,500 [deep sigh] 106 00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:55,463 We've been trying, you know, to-- 107 00:04:55,542 --> 00:04:56,792 Fuck? 108 00:04:56,875 --> 00:04:58,125 [Charlotte] Whatever. 109 00:04:58,208 --> 00:04:59,958 And it's just not-- 110 00:05:00,041 --> 00:05:01,251 Getting big and hard? 111 00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:03,043 What is this, dirty Mad Libs? 112 00:05:03,125 --> 00:05:06,995 I love him, and he's trying, but this is so frustrating. 113 00:05:07,083 --> 00:05:09,383 -Of course it is. -I mean, last night, 114 00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:12,035 I got so turned on I almost-- 115 00:05:12,375 --> 00:05:13,245 Hey! 116 00:05:13,333 --> 00:05:14,543 You almost masturbated, 117 00:05:14,625 --> 00:05:15,575 he almost got it up, 118 00:05:15,667 --> 00:05:17,497 together you almost had sex. 119 00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:21,131 Right next to my husband. I feel so ashamed. 120 00:05:21,208 --> 00:05:22,628 Everybody masturbates. 121 00:05:22,709 --> 00:05:24,209 I did it this morning. 122 00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:25,711 That explains why I got your voicemail. 123 00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:27,542 He masturbates and he reads porn. 124 00:05:27,625 --> 00:05:29,625 But when it comes to dealing with me... 125 00:05:29,709 --> 00:05:30,629 nothing. 126 00:05:30,709 --> 00:05:31,629 Madonna-whore. 127 00:05:31,709 --> 00:05:33,709 -You think? -Absolutely. 128 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,712 Trey sees you as his virginal wife, 129 00:05:35,792 --> 00:05:37,252 not his sexual plaything. 130 00:05:37,333 --> 00:05:38,833 You're not going to get anywhere 131 00:05:38,917 --> 00:05:41,457 until you change how he sees you. 132 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:42,832 I don't know if I can do that. 133 00:05:42,917 --> 00:05:44,377 Yes, you can. Come on! 134 00:05:44,458 --> 00:05:46,998 You're sexy. He should see you. 135 00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:48,503 You're something to see. 136 00:05:48,583 --> 00:05:50,423 Oh, yeah. 137 00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:52,167 [growling playfully] 138 00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:54,670 [Carrie] The next night, I realized firsthand 139 00:05:54,750 --> 00:05:56,500 just how many desperate New York women 140 00:05:56,583 --> 00:05:57,963 there actually were out there. 141 00:05:58,834 --> 00:05:59,884 Wow. 142 00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:01,580 Hi. 143 00:06:04,041 --> 00:06:06,001 -Hello. -[women] Hi. 144 00:06:06,083 --> 00:06:08,333 Gosh, I'm flattered that so many of you ladies 145 00:06:08,417 --> 00:06:09,917 showed up to hear me talk. 146 00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:12,830 Well, the fact is, 147 00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:16,883 I have had a lot of experience with men. 148 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:19,039 Some of it good, some of it bad, 149 00:06:19,125 --> 00:06:20,625 and some of it very, very ugly. 150 00:06:20,709 --> 00:06:22,079 -[women laugh] -Wow. 151 00:06:22,166 --> 00:06:27,206 Well, there are two million single men in the city. 152 00:06:27,583 --> 00:06:29,463 I have dated about a million of them. 153 00:06:31,125 --> 00:06:34,285 And all of these men are right outside your door. 154 00:06:34,375 --> 00:06:36,705 So the next time you step out in the morning 155 00:06:36,792 --> 00:06:38,172 with your shoes, and your tote, 156 00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:40,460 and your traveling cappuccino, 157 00:06:40,542 --> 00:06:42,582 take a look around, because I'm telling you, 158 00:06:42,792 --> 00:06:45,582 our little metropolis, it is stacked with men. 159 00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:47,537 You never know who you're gonna run into. 160 00:06:47,625 --> 00:06:49,825 You can turn a corner and boom! 161 00:06:49,917 --> 00:06:52,247 "Bright lights, date city." [laughs] 162 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:58,077 Could you be more specific? 163 00:06:58,166 --> 00:07:01,666 Um, you mean, like, places to meet men? 164 00:07:02,250 --> 00:07:05,250 Sure, um, well, let's see... 165 00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:07,213 Uh... Samba. 166 00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:10,080 Um, really, any sporting-- 167 00:07:10,166 --> 00:07:11,416 Sports bars. Mickey Mantle's. 168 00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:12,580 Oh, I've gone there. 169 00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:14,577 All the men were married. 170 00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:16,377 Oh, really? Hmm. 171 00:07:16,458 --> 00:07:19,628 Okay, well, uh, let's see. 172 00:07:20,583 --> 00:07:23,333 Well, I once met this fella on the Hampton Jitney. 173 00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:25,504 Of course, it turned out that he couldn't drive, 174 00:07:25,583 --> 00:07:28,543 and he was on some sort of parole program. 175 00:07:28,625 --> 00:07:30,325 So I guess that's a bad example. 176 00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:33,167 Suddenly, I felt like the bad example. 177 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,580 Yes, you. 178 00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:37,287 Are you married? 179 00:07:37,375 --> 00:07:38,665 Uh, no. 180 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,079 Yes? You, right there. 181 00:07:41,166 --> 00:07:42,706 Have you ever been married? 182 00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:45,212 Uh, no. Not that I'm aware of, no. 183 00:07:45,291 --> 00:07:47,171 Yes, you all the way in the back there, yes. 184 00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:48,500 How old are you? 185 00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:49,923 [laughs] 186 00:07:50,125 --> 00:07:53,455 Look, I'm really not an expert on men, okay? 187 00:07:53,542 --> 00:07:55,172 I just write about this stuff. 188 00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:58,880 Then why are we paying to hear you talk about it? 189 00:07:59,125 --> 00:08:00,915 [crowd rumbling] 190 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,000 Hey, hey, come on. Be quiet! 191 00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:06,833 She's older than us. We can learn something! 192 00:08:06,917 --> 00:08:09,577 [Carrie] The only thing I had learned that night at The Learning Annex 193 00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:12,037 was that maybe I should have stayed home. 194 00:08:13,375 --> 00:08:14,995 Can I smoke in here? Is that all right? 195 00:08:15,083 --> 00:08:16,213 [women] No! 196 00:08:16,291 --> 00:08:17,251 [Carrie] If you stay single 197 00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:18,633 in New York long enough, 198 00:08:18,709 --> 00:08:20,669 you're supposed to get wiser about dating. 199 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,040 What men to pick. Where to meet them... 200 00:08:23,125 --> 00:08:25,915 But what really made any of us experts? 201 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,830 Wasn't our single status a neon sign 202 00:08:27,917 --> 00:08:29,457 that we couldn't get it right? 203 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,042 What if all these years in New York 204 00:08:31,125 --> 00:08:35,665 have only made us older, more confused, or dead? 205 00:08:35,750 --> 00:08:38,500 Are we getting wiser, or just older? 206 00:08:39,083 --> 00:08:40,883 I swear to God, if they'd been holding tomatoes 207 00:08:40,959 --> 00:08:43,329 instead of Louis Vuitton clutches, I'd be a dead woman. 208 00:08:43,417 --> 00:08:44,827 Or at least gazpacho. 209 00:08:44,917 --> 00:08:48,287 Do you know that there are no available men out there? 210 00:08:48,959 --> 00:08:51,329 We're at my date's wake, so, yes. 211 00:08:51,417 --> 00:08:53,787 Gosh, they were so hostile. 212 00:08:54,125 --> 00:08:55,955 -Fuck 'em. -Well, maybe they're right. 213 00:08:56,041 --> 00:08:57,081 I mean, what do I know about men? 214 00:08:57,166 --> 00:08:58,126 All I have 215 00:08:58,208 --> 00:08:59,748 is a bunch of failed relationships. 216 00:09:00,083 --> 00:09:01,423 And one affair. 217 00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:02,460 Thanks. 218 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,457 As if being dead-person adjacent isn't bad enough. 219 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,040 I'm supposed to teach another one of these classes next week. 220 00:09:08,125 --> 00:09:09,375 What am I gonna do? 221 00:09:09,458 --> 00:09:10,958 Hire a bodyguard. 222 00:09:12,417 --> 00:09:14,247 This is my first wake. 223 00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:16,133 Don't expect a goodie bag. 224 00:09:17,125 --> 00:09:17,915 [gasps] 225 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,000 Oh, my God. 226 00:09:19,083 --> 00:09:20,633 Open casket. No, no, no, no, no. 227 00:09:20,709 --> 00:09:22,499 I've never seen a dead body before. Let's get out of here. 228 00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:24,463 We can't, people are looking at us. 229 00:09:35,625 --> 00:09:39,955 [gasps] Oh, wow, he's cute. 230 00:09:40,458 --> 00:09:41,458 Was. 231 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:44,498 Damn. 232 00:09:50,291 --> 00:09:51,671 See, this would've helped me. 233 00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:54,000 "Place to meet men: an after-wake party." 234 00:09:54,083 --> 00:09:56,253 He had money set aside for this. 235 00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:57,423 It's nice. 236 00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:59,210 "I'm dead, you're not, enjoy the buffet." 237 00:09:59,291 --> 00:10:00,831 Damnit, I like him even more now. 238 00:10:00,917 --> 00:10:02,707 He was organized enough to have a will. 239 00:10:02,792 --> 00:10:04,542 And some very attractive friends. 240 00:10:04,625 --> 00:10:06,575 This place is lousy with men. 241 00:10:06,667 --> 00:10:08,167 [Miranda] Look how freaked out they all look. 242 00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:10,080 [Carrie] That's 'cause they know any minute... boom! 243 00:10:10,166 --> 00:10:11,376 They're outta here. 244 00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:12,834 [man] Carrie? 245 00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:16,000 Hey, it's me, Jim. 246 00:10:17,208 --> 00:10:20,628 Oh, my God! Hey, Jim. 247 00:10:20,709 --> 00:10:22,579 Hey, your hair-- 248 00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:25,497 Yeah, I know. I cut it for a real job. 249 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:26,833 I'm an engineer now. 250 00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,497 -On the railroad? -Civil. 251 00:10:28,583 --> 00:10:30,793 Oh. [laughs] What happened to the band? 252 00:10:30,875 --> 00:10:32,825 Turns out, I really wasn't talented. 253 00:10:32,917 --> 00:10:35,287 Oh, wow. Oh, Miranda, 254 00:10:35,375 --> 00:10:37,625 sorry, this is Jim. 255 00:10:37,709 --> 00:10:40,829 We dated like a grillion years ago. 256 00:10:40,917 --> 00:10:43,577 -Or eight. -Miranda. Nice to meet you. 257 00:10:44,041 --> 00:10:45,631 I'd ask if you two are having fun, 258 00:10:45,709 --> 00:10:47,459 but that seems totally inappropriate. 259 00:10:47,542 --> 00:10:49,712 It is, and we are, thanks. 260 00:10:50,125 --> 00:10:51,825 So you were friends with Will? 261 00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:52,787 May he rest. 262 00:10:52,875 --> 00:10:54,245 [Jim] Roommates in college. 263 00:10:54,333 --> 00:10:56,133 It was weird, we were friends, 264 00:10:56,208 --> 00:10:57,668 but we were really competitive. 265 00:10:57,750 --> 00:10:59,790 We were always fighting it out for everything. 266 00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:01,625 I mean, look, he even died first, 267 00:11:01,709 --> 00:11:03,789 just to beat me to the punch. 268 00:11:03,875 --> 00:11:05,455 [laughs] Bad. 269 00:11:05,542 --> 00:11:06,672 But you laughed. 270 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,960 Well, you guys were the classic "frenemies." 271 00:11:09,041 --> 00:11:10,461 "Frenemies." Nice word. 272 00:11:10,542 --> 00:11:12,332 Well, I'm a full-time writer now. 273 00:11:12,417 --> 00:11:13,997 -I know. -I'm a lawyer. 274 00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:15,173 And I'm not drunk enough. 275 00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:16,670 Can I get you ladies anything? 276 00:11:16,750 --> 00:11:17,880 Oh, a martini. 277 00:11:17,959 --> 00:11:18,829 No. 278 00:11:18,917 --> 00:11:20,827 Don't go anywhere. I'll be back. 279 00:11:20,917 --> 00:11:22,537 He's kinda cute. 280 00:11:24,792 --> 00:11:26,422 He's kind of an asshole. 281 00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:28,920 -Really? -Oh, yes, indeedy. 282 00:11:29,417 --> 00:11:30,417 But he seems great. 283 00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:31,500 Sure, that's what I thought too 284 00:11:31,583 --> 00:11:32,753 when I started dating him. 285 00:11:32,834 --> 00:11:34,214 Then, when we both knew it wasn't working, 286 00:11:34,291 --> 00:11:35,501 and I broke up with him, 287 00:11:35,583 --> 00:11:36,923 hello, asshole. 288 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,960 You know, snide comments, rumors spreading, the works. 289 00:11:41,041 --> 00:11:42,421 But he's so cute. 290 00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:43,580 Hmm. 291 00:11:44,250 --> 00:11:46,040 -Incoming. -Outgoing. 292 00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:48,955 -Here you go, Miranda. -Thanks. 293 00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:51,883 I would love to stay and chat inappropriately, 294 00:11:51,959 --> 00:11:54,289 but I'm due to give a toast in the other room. 295 00:11:54,375 --> 00:11:55,995 So this is kind of a working wake for you. 296 00:11:56,083 --> 00:12:00,383 [chuckles] Listen, I'd love to get together with you sometime. 297 00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:03,208 Oh, here's my card. 298 00:12:03,291 --> 00:12:07,041 My e-mail address is on the back, and my cell. 299 00:12:07,125 --> 00:12:09,535 [Carrie] Apparently, Will's death had turned Miranda 300 00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:13,035 into my target audience: a desperate woman. 301 00:12:13,125 --> 00:12:16,125 Downtown, Samantha was getting wise... 302 00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:18,538 Sebastian Wyse, again. 303 00:12:18,625 --> 00:12:19,745 [Samantha moans] 304 00:12:19,834 --> 00:12:21,004 While uptown, 305 00:12:21,083 --> 00:12:23,043 Charlotte was getting nothing at all. 306 00:12:23,125 --> 00:12:24,165 [sighs] 307 00:12:24,250 --> 00:12:27,040 I'm telling you, we almost broke the bed. 308 00:12:27,125 --> 00:12:28,205 You can't break a bed. 309 00:12:28,291 --> 00:12:29,961 What does this stallion do for a living? 310 00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:31,461 -I'm not sure. -Huh. 311 00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:33,752 Hey, does he go to Mickey Mantle's? 312 00:12:33,834 --> 00:12:34,884 You got me. 313 00:12:35,333 --> 00:12:37,043 How can you not know anything about him? 314 00:12:37,125 --> 00:12:37,955 You slept with him. 315 00:12:38,041 --> 00:12:39,211 I fucked him. 316 00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:40,831 He made me come six times. 317 00:12:40,917 --> 00:12:42,957 That's good enough for me. 318 00:12:43,041 --> 00:12:44,171 Stop it! 319 00:12:45,709 --> 00:12:48,249 Why do you always have to talk about sex like that? 320 00:12:48,333 --> 00:12:50,083 Because I can. 321 00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:51,246 Okay, girls, simmer down. 322 00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:52,753 Mommy hasn't had her caffeine yet. 323 00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:54,924 I-- I can't take this anymore. 324 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,460 Oh, hey, frittatas. 325 00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:59,420 Sex is something special 326 00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:02,580 that's supposed to happen between two people who love each other. 327 00:13:02,667 --> 00:13:03,827 Or two people who love sex. 328 00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,167 Oh, my God, you're such a-- 329 00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:07,580 A what? What am I, Charlotte? 330 00:13:07,667 --> 00:13:09,917 When are you gonna learn that you can't just sleep 331 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,670 with everything that comes along? 332 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,670 Hey, Mrs. Softee, at least I'm getting laid! 333 00:13:15,291 --> 00:13:17,331 And you can forget Samba! 334 00:13:18,542 --> 00:13:20,212 That girl needs the stick out of her ass 335 00:13:20,291 --> 00:13:22,381 and a dick in her coochie, pronto. 336 00:13:22,458 --> 00:13:24,288 -Am I right? -Not gettin' involved. 337 00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:25,665 I'm with her. 338 00:13:25,750 --> 00:13:29,080 You know what? I don't need this. 339 00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:32,377 Maybe you guys should forget Samba too. 340 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,830 We knew this was coming. 341 00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:40,537 But it's so sad and petty. 342 00:13:40,875 --> 00:13:42,495 I'm staying way out of this one. 343 00:13:42,583 --> 00:13:45,043 Way out. New Jersey out. 344 00:13:46,375 --> 00:13:48,325 Okay, speaking of petty, 345 00:13:48,417 --> 00:13:50,877 how upset would you be if I went out with Jim? 346 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,290 Jim-old boyfriend-Jim? 347 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,495 He called me. 348 00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:57,583 Oh, Miranda, no. 349 00:13:57,667 --> 00:14:00,627 Honey, he so needs to be voted off the island. 350 00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:02,035 I know how you feel, 351 00:14:02,125 --> 00:14:05,035 but he was so sweet on the phone, and... 352 00:14:05,291 --> 00:14:08,171 it was eight years ago, Carrie. Maybe he's learned something. 353 00:14:08,250 --> 00:14:10,000 I mean, haven't you learned anything in eight years? 354 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,633 Apparently not. 355 00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:13,916 He's alive and he asked me out. 356 00:14:14,583 --> 00:14:16,213 I'm a little fragile right now. 357 00:14:16,291 --> 00:14:18,461 All right, fine, go. Go. 358 00:14:18,542 --> 00:14:19,712 And you know what they say, 359 00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,172 one woman's asshole is another woman's-- 360 00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:22,210 A-hole. 361 00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:24,420 Well, as long as you're okay with it. 362 00:14:25,917 --> 00:14:27,997 [Carrie] Later that week, Charlotte decided 363 00:14:28,083 --> 00:14:29,333 if she was ever gonna get Trey 364 00:14:29,417 --> 00:14:31,037 to see the sexual part of her, 365 00:14:31,125 --> 00:14:32,575 she'd have to dress the part. 366 00:14:32,667 --> 00:14:35,037 I'm going to get him to notice me, Carrie. I have to. 367 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:36,792 I think that's a bottom. 368 00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:38,205 Oh. 369 00:14:38,291 --> 00:14:40,131 You know, if you're gonna go the lingerie route, 370 00:14:40,208 --> 00:14:42,828 why not go La Perla, or something a little more... 371 00:14:42,917 --> 00:14:45,377 upscale and a little less flammable? 372 00:14:45,458 --> 00:14:47,538 I don't want to be me! I want to be someone else! 373 00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,665 Well, that's the basis for a healthy relationship. 374 00:14:49,750 --> 00:14:51,540 What about these? What do these say? 375 00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:53,785 Um, "read my lips"? 376 00:14:54,208 --> 00:14:57,538 I want to be "call girl meets Park Avenue." 377 00:14:57,625 --> 00:15:00,665 Then you're gonna have to pair that with a nice, little cardigan. 378 00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:02,880 Oh, this is important to me, Carrie. 379 00:15:02,959 --> 00:15:04,379 I need him to see me sexually. 380 00:15:04,458 --> 00:15:07,288 I know you do, sweetie, I'm just not sure I need to. 381 00:15:07,834 --> 00:15:11,134 You know, this is much more a Samantha job. 382 00:15:11,208 --> 00:15:13,828 Oh, please. I need a break from her. 383 00:15:13,917 --> 00:15:15,877 You shouldn't be so hard on her. 384 00:15:15,959 --> 00:15:17,749 She doesn't mean to be hurtful. 385 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:19,540 Well, she was. 386 00:15:19,625 --> 00:15:21,125 Well, I believe there were two of you 387 00:15:21,208 --> 00:15:22,418 ruining my breakfast. 388 00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:23,540 You know what? 389 00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:25,332 I have enough problems in my life right now. 390 00:15:25,417 --> 00:15:27,287 I really don't need any lectures. 391 00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:31,577 [Carrie] It was my second lecture that week 392 00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:33,127 that was a failure. 393 00:15:33,208 --> 00:15:34,418 And across town, 394 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,330 Samantha decided the wise thing to do 395 00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:39,377 was to take a break from all of us and go shopping. 396 00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:44,043 Oh, I'm sorry. 397 00:15:44,125 --> 00:15:46,205 Let it go and no one gets hurt. 398 00:15:46,291 --> 00:15:48,581 I think I was holding it first. 399 00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:50,537 I know Tae Kwon Do. 400 00:15:50,625 --> 00:15:51,995 I know the manager. 401 00:15:52,083 --> 00:15:55,333 [laughs] 402 00:15:55,417 --> 00:15:58,537 You're spunky. I like spunky women. 403 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,495 We're a dying breed. 404 00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:01,673 No kidding. 405 00:16:02,041 --> 00:16:03,291 I'm Claire Anne. 406 00:16:03,375 --> 00:16:05,625 Don't let the southern accent fool you. 407 00:16:05,709 --> 00:16:07,129 I'm Samantha. 408 00:16:07,208 --> 00:16:08,628 Nothing fools me. 409 00:16:08,709 --> 00:16:09,959 [laughs] 410 00:16:10,041 --> 00:16:12,791 I'll tell you what, I'll let you have the scarf 411 00:16:12,875 --> 00:16:15,455 if you show me where a gal can get a hard drink 412 00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:17,672 in a dark bar around here. 413 00:16:17,750 --> 00:16:19,880 Done and done. 414 00:16:20,542 --> 00:16:22,082 Well, my last date died, 415 00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:23,786 so the fact that you're still breathing 416 00:16:23,875 --> 00:16:25,455 makes this a huge success. 417 00:16:25,542 --> 00:16:27,882 Low standards. I like that. 418 00:16:35,041 --> 00:16:36,211 This was really nice. 419 00:16:36,291 --> 00:16:37,881 Yeah, it was. 420 00:16:38,291 --> 00:16:40,961 You know, Carrie wasn't sure that we would get along. 421 00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:42,826 She knew me a long time ago. 422 00:16:42,917 --> 00:16:44,327 I've changed. 423 00:16:44,417 --> 00:16:48,497 I mean, back then I was in a band called Uncle Ted's Ass, 424 00:16:48,583 --> 00:16:50,833 -[laughs] -and I could sit on my hair. 425 00:16:50,917 --> 00:16:52,537 Wow, that's impressive. 426 00:16:52,625 --> 00:16:54,955 You didn't hear us play. [laughs] 427 00:17:03,166 --> 00:17:04,496 I'd like to see you again. 428 00:17:04,583 --> 00:17:06,253 I'd like that. 429 00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:09,793 Goodnight. 430 00:17:13,083 --> 00:17:14,793 [Carrie] The next morning, Miranda called 431 00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:17,375 with the postmortem on her last date with Jim. 432 00:17:17,458 --> 00:17:18,708 [telephone rings] 433 00:17:20,333 --> 00:17:21,173 Hello? 434 00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:22,540 Hey, it's me. 435 00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,625 Oh, thank God. I thought it was The Learning Annex 436 00:17:24,709 --> 00:17:26,379 bugging me about my next class. 437 00:17:26,458 --> 00:17:27,378 When's that? 438 00:17:27,458 --> 00:17:28,878 The 12th of never gonna happen. 439 00:17:28,959 --> 00:17:30,879 Do you know, people actually asked for refunds 440 00:17:30,959 --> 00:17:32,079 after my first class? 441 00:17:32,166 --> 00:17:33,536 What do they know? 442 00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:34,955 [Carrie] Apparently, more than I do. 443 00:17:35,041 --> 00:17:37,211 I feel like a total sham. 444 00:17:37,291 --> 00:17:38,461 Oh, easy. 445 00:17:38,542 --> 00:17:40,212 That's my friend you're talking about there. 446 00:17:40,291 --> 00:17:41,291 Hmm. 447 00:17:42,667 --> 00:17:44,827 So, I went out with Jim. 448 00:17:44,917 --> 00:17:46,997 Don't make me say I told you so. 449 00:17:47,083 --> 00:17:48,383 Carrie, it was great. 450 00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:50,328 It was fun and romantic. 451 00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:51,997 We talked so long, we closed the restaurant. 452 00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:53,173 I think you're wrong about him. 453 00:17:53,250 --> 00:17:54,290 I think this could be good. 454 00:17:54,375 --> 00:17:55,785 Are we talking about the same Jim? 455 00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:57,205 Jim, asshole Jim? 456 00:17:57,291 --> 00:17:58,631 He's not an asshole. 457 00:17:58,709 --> 00:18:00,249 Yeah, not till you break up with him. 458 00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:02,753 Come on, he says the greatest things about you. 459 00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:03,924 He does? 460 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,960 I'm going out with him again on Friday. 461 00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:07,331 Go. Godspeed. 462 00:18:07,417 --> 00:18:08,377 Carrie... 463 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,960 I feel weird dating a guy that you don't like. 464 00:18:12,041 --> 00:18:13,631 We should all go out. 465 00:18:13,709 --> 00:18:16,289 Have a drink sometime. One drink. 466 00:18:16,375 --> 00:18:18,285 Question, what do you know about this guy? 467 00:18:18,375 --> 00:18:19,915 You've been on one date with him. 468 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,130 What do you know about him? It's been eight years. 469 00:18:22,333 --> 00:18:23,583 Think about the drink. 470 00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:25,417 [Carrie] Uptown, Charlotte decided 471 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:26,790 this would be a good time 472 00:18:26,875 --> 00:18:28,915 to spend with her real, old friends, 473 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,790 the sisters of Kappa Kappa Gamma. 474 00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:33,785 Oh, my goodness, has it been forever, or what? 475 00:18:33,875 --> 00:18:34,955 It has. 476 00:18:35,041 --> 00:18:36,251 [Meg] It is so great to see you, Charlotte. 477 00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:38,423 We've really missed you. 478 00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,580 And I have missed you. You have no idea. 479 00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:42,877 Well, congratulations on your wedding. 480 00:18:42,959 --> 00:18:45,079 Welcome to the married old gals club! 481 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,376 [women laugh] 482 00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:48,378 [Stephanie] He is so handsome. 483 00:18:48,709 --> 00:18:50,169 Oh, my God. 484 00:18:50,250 --> 00:18:53,000 I would like to trade my husband in for him, please. [laughs] 485 00:18:53,083 --> 00:18:54,963 [Carrie] She knew they would understand her. 486 00:18:55,041 --> 00:18:57,211 After all, they were all married too. 487 00:18:57,291 --> 00:18:58,921 I remember being a newlywed. 488 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,960 We hardly ever got out of bed. 489 00:19:01,041 --> 00:19:02,211 [Meg] Sydney! 490 00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:04,541 [laughs] What? It's just us girls. 491 00:19:05,041 --> 00:19:06,961 My husband can't get it up. 492 00:19:07,041 --> 00:19:09,041 [Carrie] Perhaps it would have been wiser 493 00:19:09,125 --> 00:19:11,125 for Charlotte to have had a Kappa Kappa cappuccino 494 00:19:11,208 --> 00:19:12,958 instead of that third martini. 495 00:19:13,041 --> 00:19:14,961 I'm so frustrated. 496 00:19:15,041 --> 00:19:16,211 Charlotte... 497 00:19:16,291 --> 00:19:17,291 I mean, don't you ever just want 498 00:19:17,375 --> 00:19:18,875 to be really pounded hard? 499 00:19:18,959 --> 00:19:20,039 You know? 500 00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:22,745 Like when the bed is moving all around, 501 00:19:22,834 --> 00:19:24,134 and it's all sweaty. 502 00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:27,078 And your head is knocking up against the headboard, 503 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,286 and you feel like it might just blow off... 504 00:19:29,709 --> 00:19:31,829 Damnit, I just really want to be fucked, you know? 505 00:19:31,917 --> 00:19:33,747 Just really fucked! 506 00:19:34,750 --> 00:19:36,330 [Carrie] The only heads blowing off 507 00:19:36,417 --> 00:19:38,457 were those of Kappa Kappa grandma. 508 00:19:38,542 --> 00:19:39,792 Charlotte... 509 00:19:40,583 --> 00:19:42,333 this is really inappropriate. 510 00:19:42,417 --> 00:19:44,167 Yeah, we're eating. 511 00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,630 [scoffs] What's wrong with you, Charlotte? You're such a-- 512 00:19:46,709 --> 00:19:50,789 What? What am I, Sydney? 513 00:19:50,875 --> 00:19:54,375 [Carrie] Charlotte realized how much they'd all changed since college. 514 00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:58,002 Her friends had become frenemies. 515 00:19:58,083 --> 00:20:00,213 And to them, she had become... 516 00:20:00,291 --> 00:20:01,711 Samantha. 517 00:20:04,041 --> 00:20:06,001 Here's to new friends! 518 00:20:06,083 --> 00:20:08,923 And gorgeous New York men! 519 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,170 Mmm. 520 00:20:11,583 --> 00:20:15,753 Hey, would you like to join me at Samba on Friday night? 521 00:20:15,834 --> 00:20:19,834 Two hot broads at a hot restaurant, I love it! 522 00:20:19,917 --> 00:20:22,417 The reservation's for four. 523 00:20:27,542 --> 00:20:30,332 Done and done. 524 00:20:30,709 --> 00:20:32,329 [both laughing] 525 00:20:32,417 --> 00:20:33,707 [Carrie] An hour later, 526 00:20:33,792 --> 00:20:35,042 Samantha couldn't believe 527 00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:36,285 how much fun she was having. 528 00:20:36,375 --> 00:20:37,625 She had finally found a woman 529 00:20:37,709 --> 00:20:39,579 who was as open about her sexuality 530 00:20:39,667 --> 00:20:40,457 as she was. 531 00:20:40,542 --> 00:20:41,542 I call the blonde! 532 00:20:41,625 --> 00:20:46,205 [laughs] Oh, you are too cute. 533 00:20:46,291 --> 00:20:48,291 I could just eat you up. 534 00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:50,633 Yes, I could. 535 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,000 I'm gonna eat you up! 536 00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:55,883 [screams and laughs] 537 00:20:56,667 --> 00:20:57,877 Claire Anne? 538 00:20:57,959 --> 00:20:59,629 [unzipping sound] 539 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,670 Oh, my God! 540 00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:06,960 Excellent! 541 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,670 Claire Anne, I'm going! 542 00:21:11,750 --> 00:21:13,880 [Claire Anne] Wait! I'll come with you. 543 00:21:18,750 --> 00:21:20,670 And you can forget Samba! 544 00:21:20,750 --> 00:21:22,750 Hey, where are you going? 545 00:21:22,834 --> 00:21:26,544 [Carrie] That night, Samantha learned she had a little Charlotte in her. 546 00:21:26,625 --> 00:21:29,575 Just like Charlotte, she had a line that could be crossed. 547 00:21:29,667 --> 00:21:31,667 Hers was just a little more to the left. 548 00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:34,080 The next night, I agreed 549 00:21:34,166 --> 00:21:35,576 to meet Jim and Miranda for drinks. 550 00:21:35,667 --> 00:21:38,787 Jim took me to an amazing poetry reading last night. 551 00:21:38,875 --> 00:21:40,745 The unpublished works of Robert Lowell. 552 00:21:40,834 --> 00:21:42,294 He wrote his thesis on Lowell. 553 00:21:42,375 --> 00:21:43,455 Really? I didn't know that. 554 00:21:43,542 --> 00:21:45,422 There's a lot you never knew about me. 555 00:21:46,458 --> 00:21:48,208 Another chardonnay for the beautiful lady. 556 00:21:48,291 --> 00:21:49,711 Oh, thank you. 557 00:21:49,959 --> 00:21:54,499 [Jim] So I lost track of you, but I always read your column. 558 00:21:54,583 --> 00:21:55,793 It's really good. 559 00:21:55,875 --> 00:21:56,705 Thank you. 560 00:21:56,792 --> 00:21:58,252 Maybe I'd been wrong. 561 00:21:58,333 --> 00:22:01,633 Jim seemed kind, funny, attentive... 562 00:22:01,959 --> 00:22:03,749 There's a lot of sex in there. 563 00:22:04,375 --> 00:22:05,785 It creeps in. 564 00:22:06,250 --> 00:22:09,420 You didn't seem to know too much about sex when we were dating. 565 00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:11,420 [Carrie] And still an asshole. 566 00:22:11,500 --> 00:22:12,540 All right, then, good to see you. 567 00:22:12,625 --> 00:22:13,785 Don't leave. Don't leave. 568 00:22:13,875 --> 00:22:14,915 I was joking. 569 00:22:15,166 --> 00:22:17,746 Stay. I have really bad timing. 570 00:22:18,125 --> 00:22:20,495 Speaking of which, did you ever hear his band play? 571 00:22:20,583 --> 00:22:21,713 No, uh-uh. 572 00:22:21,792 --> 00:22:24,172 She was too busy going shopping for shoes. 573 00:22:24,250 --> 00:22:26,000 I do like my shoes. 574 00:22:26,083 --> 00:22:27,463 Yeah, they come in handy 575 00:22:27,542 --> 00:22:30,132 when you're walking all over people, huh? 576 00:22:30,417 --> 00:22:31,827 Hey, Jim, c'mon. 577 00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:33,787 What? Just reliving happy memories. 578 00:22:33,875 --> 00:22:35,955 Carrie doesn't walk all over people. 579 00:22:36,041 --> 00:22:37,291 She sure as fuck did with me. 580 00:22:37,375 --> 00:22:39,575 Well, maybe that's because you're an asshole! 581 00:22:39,667 --> 00:22:41,997 I'm an asshole? She's the asshole. 582 00:22:42,083 --> 00:22:43,883 She never called me once after we broke up. 583 00:22:43,959 --> 00:22:46,379 That's because you're an asshole! 584 00:22:46,458 --> 00:22:47,498 She's the asshole. 585 00:22:47,583 --> 00:22:48,583 She's not an asshole! 586 00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:49,667 Thank you, sweetie. 587 00:22:49,750 --> 00:22:50,920 You know what? 588 00:22:51,542 --> 00:22:52,712 Never call me again. 589 00:22:52,792 --> 00:22:54,082 You're breaking up with me? 590 00:22:54,166 --> 00:22:55,246 Oh, yeah! 591 00:22:55,333 --> 00:22:57,213 Ooh, the fancy lawyer lady's 592 00:22:57,291 --> 00:22:58,211 breaking up with me. 593 00:22:58,291 --> 00:23:00,131 Like I give a shit! 594 00:23:00,208 --> 00:23:02,328 [Carrie] Jim hadn't gotten older or wiser. 595 00:23:02,417 --> 00:23:05,247 Once dumped, he would still dump on everyone else. 596 00:23:05,333 --> 00:23:07,463 You are such assholes! 597 00:23:14,125 --> 00:23:15,375 Okay, say it. 598 00:23:15,458 --> 00:23:17,038 I told you so. 599 00:23:17,125 --> 00:23:18,205 What an asshole! 600 00:23:18,291 --> 00:23:19,711 I told you so! 601 00:23:20,166 --> 00:23:22,876 Is it bad that it makes me feel good to say that? 602 00:23:22,959 --> 00:23:23,919 No. 603 00:23:24,250 --> 00:23:26,710 I can't believe I fell for that asshole. 604 00:23:26,792 --> 00:23:28,582 Your date died. You panicked. 605 00:23:28,667 --> 00:23:30,537 Yeah, you know me too well. 606 00:23:30,625 --> 00:23:33,705 Hey, there are plenty of other assholes out there. 607 00:23:33,792 --> 00:23:34,792 Ya think? 608 00:23:34,875 --> 00:23:36,785 Yeah, I know. And I'm an expert. 609 00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:39,325 [laughs] You're such an asshole. 610 00:23:40,417 --> 00:23:42,037 [Carrie] Meanwhile, uptown, 611 00:23:42,125 --> 00:23:45,665 the Samantha in Charlotte was finally ready to come out. 612 00:23:46,875 --> 00:23:47,955 Hey. 613 00:23:51,083 --> 00:23:53,173 What in God's name are you wearing? 614 00:23:54,667 --> 00:23:56,667 It's supposed to be sexy. 615 00:23:59,041 --> 00:24:01,331 C'mon, Charlotte, you're my wife. 616 00:24:01,959 --> 00:24:04,209 That's not you. Take it off. 617 00:24:05,166 --> 00:24:06,206 Fine. 618 00:24:12,625 --> 00:24:13,825 Charlotte... 619 00:24:16,375 --> 00:24:17,495 Look at me. 620 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,210 This is me. 621 00:24:25,834 --> 00:24:29,544 I'm not a Madonna and I'm not a whore. 622 00:24:30,792 --> 00:24:35,082 I'm your wife, and I'm sexual, and I love you. 623 00:24:46,041 --> 00:24:47,171 What are you doing? 624 00:24:49,792 --> 00:24:51,382 I'm touching myself. 625 00:24:53,959 --> 00:24:55,209 I can... 626 00:24:56,125 --> 00:24:57,535 I can see that. 627 00:24:59,083 --> 00:25:00,383 Good. 628 00:25:12,166 --> 00:25:13,576 Trey? 629 00:25:15,417 --> 00:25:17,577 I think we have a stiff breeze. 630 00:25:17,667 --> 00:25:21,167 [Carrie] That night, Trey successfully screwed his wife 631 00:25:21,250 --> 00:25:23,710 for a full minute and a half... 632 00:25:23,792 --> 00:25:25,382 before the wind died. 633 00:25:26,166 --> 00:25:27,996 After Charlotte's night of love, 634 00:25:28,083 --> 00:25:30,043 she called the one person she knew 635 00:25:30,125 --> 00:25:32,205 who would appreciate it the most. 636 00:25:32,291 --> 00:25:33,081 Hello? 637 00:25:33,166 --> 00:25:35,996 Well, he fucked me. 638 00:25:36,083 --> 00:25:38,003 Oh, honey, that's great! 639 00:25:38,083 --> 00:25:39,583 I knew you could do it! 640 00:25:39,667 --> 00:25:40,667 Thanks. 641 00:25:40,750 --> 00:25:41,830 [Samantha] Oh, hey, don't forget 642 00:25:41,917 --> 00:25:43,207 Samba, Friday night. 643 00:25:43,291 --> 00:25:44,751 I'll be there. 644 00:25:44,834 --> 00:25:46,384 Did you come? 645 00:25:46,458 --> 00:25:48,248 [laughs] Samantha! 646 00:25:48,333 --> 00:25:50,253 [Carrie] Having spent time with their frenemies, 647 00:25:50,333 --> 00:25:52,633 Charlotte and Samantha forgot they were enemies 648 00:25:52,709 --> 00:25:54,959 and went back to being friends. 649 00:25:55,041 --> 00:25:58,171 I realized I had become my own worst frenemy. 650 00:25:58,250 --> 00:26:01,290 I had let 300 desperate women and one asshole 651 00:26:01,375 --> 00:26:03,245 convince me that I didn't know anything. 652 00:26:03,333 --> 00:26:05,883 But they were wrong. I was older and wiser. 653 00:26:05,959 --> 00:26:07,999 So I decided to keep my second date 654 00:26:08,083 --> 00:26:09,793 with The Learning Annex. 655 00:26:09,875 --> 00:26:12,625 Unfortunately, my reputation had preceded me. 656 00:26:12,709 --> 00:26:14,459 Wow. Is this it? 657 00:26:15,959 --> 00:26:18,329 Okay. Wow. 658 00:26:18,709 --> 00:26:20,499 Um, hi. 659 00:26:21,125 --> 00:26:22,625 I'm Carrie Bradshaw. 660 00:26:22,875 --> 00:26:25,495 Um, I know you've paid good money 661 00:26:25,583 --> 00:26:27,633 to find out how to meet men. 662 00:26:27,959 --> 00:26:28,959 And I have to tell you, 663 00:26:29,041 --> 00:26:29,921 I don't know a whole lot about it, 664 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:30,960 but I do know this, 665 00:26:31,041 --> 00:26:32,081 you are not gonna meet them 666 00:26:32,166 --> 00:26:33,416 sitting in a Learning Annex class. 667 00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:35,790 So ladies, grab your bags. 668 00:26:38,166 --> 00:26:40,166 Come on, we're not getting any younger! 669 00:26:41,208 --> 00:26:42,288 Chop, chop. 670 00:26:43,333 --> 00:26:45,673 That's right. Just trying to give you your money's worth. 671 00:26:45,750 --> 00:26:46,960 All right. 672 00:26:47,041 --> 00:26:48,381 I took them around the corner to a bar, 673 00:26:48,458 --> 00:26:51,128 and took my $300 and bought them drinks. 674 00:26:52,208 --> 00:26:53,328 Okay, Anne. 675 00:26:53,417 --> 00:26:55,457 That guy over there is checking you out. 676 00:26:56,583 --> 00:26:57,673 Twelve o'clock. 677 00:26:57,959 --> 00:26:59,999 Not everybody, just Anne. Just Anne. 678 00:27:00,417 --> 00:27:02,417 All right, go over there and ask him for a light. 679 00:27:02,500 --> 00:27:03,790 I'm already lit. 680 00:27:05,250 --> 00:27:06,670 [women laugh] 681 00:27:06,750 --> 00:27:08,830 Go. Go. 682 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,380 -Hi, got a light? -[Carrie] Oh, yeah. Victory. 683 00:27:14,458 --> 00:27:15,418 Sure. 684 00:27:15,709 --> 00:27:17,459 Oh, yeah. See? 685 00:27:17,542 --> 00:27:19,752 Okay, one down, five to go. 686 00:27:19,834 --> 00:27:21,294 [Liz] Hey, what about him? 687 00:27:21,375 --> 00:27:23,745 [man] No, that's totally cool with me. It's fine. 688 00:27:24,709 --> 00:27:25,829 -Excuse me? -Hey. 689 00:27:25,917 --> 00:27:27,957 Hi. Have you met Liz? 690 00:27:28,041 --> 00:27:29,421 She works in TV. 691 00:27:29,500 --> 00:27:31,580 Get out of here! I love TV! 692 00:27:32,041 --> 00:27:33,251 Something in common. 693 00:27:33,333 --> 00:27:35,383 That night, I made three matches. 694 00:27:35,458 --> 00:27:36,788 I didn't even look for myself. 695 00:27:36,875 --> 00:27:39,205 After all, I try not to date where I work. 696 00:27:39,291 --> 00:27:42,461 So I guess the old and wise adage is true: 697 00:27:42,542 --> 00:27:44,292 Those who can't do, teach. 698 00:27:44,375 --> 00:27:46,325 And those who can't teach, do. 699 00:27:46,417 --> 00:27:48,497 There's a live one. Go get him, tiger. 700 00:27:48,583 --> 00:27:50,253 Go, run like the wind.