1
00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:58,750
[big band jazz music]
2
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:05,130
[knocking]
3
00:01:10,625 --> 00:01:11,785
Yes?
4
00:01:11,875 --> 00:01:13,455
Room service.
5
00:01:17,291 --> 00:01:20,171
We've got to stop
meeting like this.
6
00:01:20,583 --> 00:01:24,213
You've been waiting
your whole life to say that.
7
00:01:26,834 --> 00:01:29,334
I have to be someplace
in three hours.
8
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,790
Why is your
skin so soft?
9
00:01:34,875 --> 00:01:36,575
[Carrie]
When Charles Dickens wrote,
10
00:01:36,667 --> 00:01:39,247
"It was the best of times,
it was the worst of times,"
11
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,883
I believe he must have been
having an affair
12
00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:44,499
with his married
ex-boyfriend.
13
00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:51,540
[knocking]
14
00:01:51,625 --> 00:01:52,575
Yeah?
15
00:01:52,667 --> 00:01:53,997
[Carrie]
It's me.
16
00:01:55,458 --> 00:01:58,078
You know, you can't
just keep changing
the time around like this,
17
00:01:58,166 --> 00:01:59,666
I have
a schedule too.
18
00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:01,080
Fine,
I'm sorry.
19
00:02:01,166 --> 00:02:03,326
Well, let's get
those panties off.
20
00:02:03,417 --> 00:02:04,957
Wait, I have to put
my diaphragm in.
21
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:06,751
Well, I have to be at work
in 40 minutes.
22
00:02:06,834 --> 00:02:08,634
I know.
23
00:02:08,709 --> 00:02:10,789
Our affair,
like our hotels,
24
00:02:10,875 --> 00:02:12,825
had gone from
elegant with crystal
25
00:02:12,917 --> 00:02:15,077
to seedy
with plastic cups.
26
00:02:18,709 --> 00:02:19,829
Cracker?
27
00:02:19,917 --> 00:02:21,377
Mm-mm.
28
00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:28,078
God, it's hot
in here!
29
00:02:28,166 --> 00:02:30,706
It's hot and the windows
don't even open.
30
00:02:30,959 --> 00:02:34,209
I hate those little
sliding air strip things.
31
00:02:35,875 --> 00:02:37,535
Me, I need air.
32
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,415
You picked
the hotel.
33
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:41,750
I picked it because
it's on 56th and Eighth.
34
00:02:41,834 --> 00:02:44,384
Nobody knows us
on 56th and Eighth.
35
00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:45,918
56th and Eighth
is safe.
36
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,790
I don't give a fuck
who sees us.
37
00:02:47,875 --> 00:02:49,915
Yes, you do,
and I do too.
38
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,080
You want people
to get hurt?
39
00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:55,130
This room smells like
take-out curry.
40
00:02:57,917 --> 00:03:01,077
Hey.
41
00:03:06,750 --> 00:03:09,080
It's too hot.
I can't do this,
I can't do this.
42
00:03:09,166 --> 00:03:12,206
What, are you saving it
for your boyfriend?
43
00:03:13,166 --> 00:03:14,326
Carrie...
44
00:03:14,417 --> 00:03:15,327
No!
45
00:03:15,417 --> 00:03:17,417
You don't
talk to me that way!
46
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,790
I'm sorry. I'm...
47
00:03:25,750 --> 00:03:26,790
I'm sorry.
48
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,420
Jesus.
49
00:03:30,625 --> 00:03:32,125
How did
we get here?
50
00:03:36,959 --> 00:03:38,789
Who are we?
51
00:03:46,458 --> 00:03:48,628
♪ Da da da da da ♪
52
00:03:51,792 --> 00:03:53,752
-[bartender] Here we go.
-[Carrie] Thanks.
53
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:56,584
Okay, I have
something to tell you
and you're not gonna like it.
54
00:03:56,667 --> 00:03:59,707
And believe me I would rather
tell anyone but you.
55
00:03:59,792 --> 00:04:01,042
But I have to.
56
00:04:01,125 --> 00:04:01,955
Okay.
57
00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:03,581
Because I need
your help.
58
00:04:03,667 --> 00:04:04,877
Okay.
59
00:04:05,208 --> 00:04:07,208
I'm having
an affair with Big.
60
00:04:07,667 --> 00:04:10,287
I swear to God,
I think my heart just stopped.
61
00:04:11,041 --> 00:04:12,631
And also,
I'm smoking again.
62
00:04:12,709 --> 00:04:14,919
I'm smoking
and I'm sleeping with Big.
63
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,290
Feel free to delete me
out of your palm pilot.
64
00:04:17,375 --> 00:04:18,745
Give me one.
65
00:04:18,834 --> 00:04:19,964
Really?
66
00:04:20,041 --> 00:04:21,041
I think I need it.
67
00:04:21,125 --> 00:04:23,705
Oh, you are
such a good friend.
68
00:04:24,375 --> 00:04:25,875
Don't inhale.
69
00:04:31,917 --> 00:04:34,247
Do you hate me?
Say you don't hate me.
70
00:04:34,333 --> 00:04:35,463
I don't hate you.
71
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:37,132
Thank you, now, if only
I didn't hate me.
72
00:04:37,208 --> 00:04:38,668
How long
has it been going on?
73
00:04:38,750 --> 00:04:39,880
Forever!
74
00:04:39,959 --> 00:04:42,079
Actual time,
three weeks.
75
00:04:42,166 --> 00:04:45,036
I'm in the middle of this
and I can't... I can't see.
76
00:04:45,125 --> 00:04:47,245
So, I need you
to yank me out of it.
77
00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:49,963
You have to say stuff
to yank me out of it.
78
00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:51,041
What about Aidan?
79
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:53,575
Yes, exactly!
What about Aidan?
80
00:04:54,125 --> 00:04:55,535
What about him?
81
00:04:55,625 --> 00:04:57,125
I would die
if he found out.
82
00:04:57,208 --> 00:05:00,038
And now Big's acting jealous
and I'm so afraid
83
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:02,455
that he's gonna call him
or do something stupid.
84
00:05:02,542 --> 00:05:04,462
He's already threatened
to tell Natasha.
85
00:05:04,542 --> 00:05:06,292
Well, what did you
think would happen?
86
00:05:06,375 --> 00:05:07,785
I didn't think,
I just did.
87
00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:09,995
And now I'm terrified
that we've messed it all up
88
00:05:10,083 --> 00:05:13,043
and it can never be
what it was supposed to be.
89
00:05:13,125 --> 00:05:15,285
It's just a big,
big mess.
90
00:05:15,375 --> 00:05:18,035
Okay, take it easy,
okay?
91
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,290
I'm just so confused.
I mean,
92
00:05:20,375 --> 00:05:22,625
does he only want me now
because he can't have me?
93
00:05:22,709 --> 00:05:23,669
Yes.
94
00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:24,880
How do you
really feel?
95
00:05:24,959 --> 00:05:27,539
Forget about him,
what do you want?
96
00:05:27,625 --> 00:05:29,665
I want everyone
to get out of this
97
00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:30,960
without anyone
getting hurt.
98
00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:33,921
-Well, that's realistic.
-Well, why not?
99
00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:38,291
You've heard those stories about
affairs where people realize
100
00:05:38,375 --> 00:05:40,165
how great their other
relationship is
101
00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:42,920
and end it without
anyone being the wiser?
102
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,330
I don't watch
Lifetime Television for women.
103
00:05:45,417 --> 00:05:49,247
Carrie, you have to
just stop, okay?
104
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:50,583
Just stop.
105
00:05:50,667 --> 00:05:52,377
I am,
I'm stopping.
106
00:05:53,375 --> 00:05:54,415
I am.
107
00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:55,875
Good.
108
00:05:55,959 --> 00:05:57,749
Who else
knows about this?
109
00:05:57,834 --> 00:05:59,754
Samantha...
Oh, and God.
110
00:05:59,834 --> 00:06:01,044
Not Charlotte?
111
00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:02,915
Oh, please, if the
"World According to Bride"
112
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,000
knew I was having an affair,
she'd kill me.
113
00:06:05,083 --> 00:06:07,633
Well, at least you wouldn't
have to be a bridesmaid.
114
00:06:07,709 --> 00:06:12,289
[Carrie] While Miranda was
trying not to judge me
on the Upper East Side,
115
00:06:12,375 --> 00:06:13,995
Samantha
was judging the crowd
116
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:16,543
at a new hot spot
on the Lower West Side.
117
00:06:16,625 --> 00:06:19,495
It was a typical
downtown male mix:
118
00:06:19,583 --> 00:06:22,503
ten percent Wall Street,
ten percent real estate,
119
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:25,793
ten percent she'd
already slept with.
120
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,130
His name
was Tom Reymi.
121
00:06:30,291 --> 00:06:31,381
Excuse me.
122
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:33,668
[Carrie] A Manhattan legend.
123
00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:35,750
Straight,
steadfastly single
124
00:06:35,834 --> 00:06:38,214
and sexually
very active.
125
00:06:38,291 --> 00:06:40,291
In short,
the male Samantha.
126
00:06:40,375 --> 00:06:41,375
Hi.
127
00:06:41,458 --> 00:06:42,708
I'm Tom Reymi.
128
00:06:42,792 --> 00:06:45,212
-I know who you are, I'm--
-Oh, I know who you are.
129
00:06:45,291 --> 00:06:46,881
It's about time
we met.
130
00:06:46,959 --> 00:06:48,379
We know
the same people,
131
00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:50,878
we should go to dinner,
blah, blah, blah.
132
00:06:50,959 --> 00:06:52,329
Wanna fuck?
133
00:06:52,417 --> 00:06:54,877
Under a minute,
you could qualify
for the Olympics.
134
00:06:54,959 --> 00:06:56,789
-My place is--
-My place is--
135
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:59,995
[laughing]
136
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,130
so...
Do you swing?
137
00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:06,043
"Swing"?
138
00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:09,165
You mean
with other couples?
139
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:10,630
No.
140
00:07:13,375 --> 00:07:14,875
Swing.
141
00:07:14,959 --> 00:07:18,459
Oh, my,
so Cirque du Soleil.
142
00:07:18,542 --> 00:07:21,082
You haven't fucked till
you've fucked in the swing.
143
00:07:21,166 --> 00:07:24,996
I've always wanted to run off
and join the circus.
144
00:07:26,875 --> 00:07:28,495
So, Samantha...
145
00:07:29,166 --> 00:07:31,456
When was
your last AIDS test?
146
00:07:31,792 --> 00:07:33,922
Well, so much
for foreplay.
147
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:38,000
Hey, anyone who has
as much sex as us
has to ask, right?
148
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,790
I was tested again
three weeks ago.
149
00:07:41,875 --> 00:07:43,455
I'm good to go.
150
00:07:43,542 --> 00:07:45,042
How about you?
151
00:07:45,125 --> 00:07:47,125
[Carrie] Samantha didn't quite
know how to tell Tom Reymi,
152
00:07:47,208 --> 00:07:50,458
the only sex test she'd ever
taken was the Cosmo quiz.
153
00:07:50,542 --> 00:07:52,502
You have been
tested, right?
154
00:07:53,083 --> 00:07:56,213
No, but
I'm very healthy.
155
00:07:56,291 --> 00:07:58,461
You haven't been tested?
Why?
156
00:07:58,542 --> 00:08:00,422
I'm a busy girl?
157
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:01,750
You know,
158
00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:04,214
I got hard in that club
just from looking at you.
159
00:08:04,291 --> 00:08:05,671
And I think
you and I both know
160
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:08,130
what's gonna happen
when we get up in that swing.
161
00:08:08,208 --> 00:08:10,168
But, baby,
162
00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:12,630
I can't fuck you
or eat you the way I want,
163
00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:15,249
unless I know it's safe.
164
00:08:15,792 --> 00:08:17,252
And Samantha...
165
00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:19,713
You should do me.
166
00:08:19,792 --> 00:08:22,422
I am as good
as they say.
167
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:24,630
[Carrie] Samantha suddenly
had to figure out
168
00:08:24,709 --> 00:08:28,749
just how much she wanted
to do Reymi.
169
00:08:30,125 --> 00:08:33,455
The pink Post-its are for
the gowns I kinda like,
170
00:08:33,542 --> 00:08:35,962
the green Post-its are for
the gowns I kinda really like,
171
00:08:36,041 --> 00:08:38,831
and the yellow Post-its
are for the gowns
I don't know if I like.
172
00:08:38,917 --> 00:08:40,287
Here.
Kill me, please.
173
00:08:40,375 --> 00:08:42,995
Just take a sharp object
and drag it across my throat.
174
00:08:43,083 --> 00:08:45,543
Stop, Miranda,
you take "Modern Bride,"
175
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:47,325
Samantha,
"New York Bride."
176
00:08:47,417 --> 00:08:49,917
And I'll take what,
"annoying bride"?
177
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,210
Here, Carrie...
178
00:08:51,291 --> 00:08:52,881
Page 211, pink Post-it,
tell me what you think.
179
00:08:52,959 --> 00:08:54,079
Okey-dokey.
180
00:08:54,166 --> 00:08:55,626
Ooh, cute purse!
181
00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:57,669
No purses!
There's no time for purses!
182
00:08:57,750 --> 00:08:58,920
This is
gown specific!
183
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,460
What's your theme again,
"a Nazi wedding"?
184
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:02,752
Carrie,
page 211?
185
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,384
Um, it's pretty,
I like the flowers in the back.
186
00:09:05,458 --> 00:09:07,878
Me too, and I like that
old fashioned satin bow.
187
00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:10,579
Have you all
had an AIDS test?
188
00:09:11,542 --> 00:09:13,922
Good morning,
where did that come from?
189
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,040
I just met
this very hot guy
190
00:09:16,125 --> 00:09:19,285
and he won't sleep with me
unless I have a test.
191
00:09:19,375 --> 00:09:22,375
Samantha, we're looking
at wedding gowns.
192
00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:24,708
Could you please not
talk about AIDS right now?
193
00:09:24,792 --> 00:09:26,712
Wait a minute.
You've never had an HIV test?
194
00:09:26,792 --> 00:09:28,632
No.
Have you?
195
00:09:28,709 --> 00:09:29,959
Two.
196
00:09:30,709 --> 00:09:31,999
Three.
197
00:09:32,375 --> 00:09:34,495
How do we feel about
opera-length gloves?
198
00:09:34,959 --> 00:09:37,749
Samantha, how can you
not have had an AIDS test?
199
00:09:37,834 --> 00:09:39,884
She doesn't mean that
the way it sounds.
200
00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:41,329
It's just--
201
00:09:41,417 --> 00:09:43,497
Well, why not, sweetie?
202
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,673
I always practice safe sex.
203
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:49,330
All right, I'm terrified.
204
00:09:49,417 --> 00:09:52,417
-What if I have it?
-You don't have it.
205
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:55,670
Sometimes it takes me
a really long time
to get over a cold.
206
00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:57,500
That's not AIDS,
that's central air conditioning.
207
00:09:57,583 --> 00:09:59,753
Just go and get it over with,
the test is nothing.
208
00:09:59,834 --> 00:10:01,504
The worst part
is waiting for the results.
209
00:10:01,583 --> 00:10:02,583
Really.
210
00:10:02,667 --> 00:10:03,917
And then they come out
with the results
211
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,460
and they motion
to certain people
212
00:10:05,542 --> 00:10:07,002
and they take them
into this little room
213
00:10:07,083 --> 00:10:08,543
and you know
the news ain't good.
214
00:10:08,625 --> 00:10:10,325
I just sat there
the entire time praying,
215
00:10:10,417 --> 00:10:12,917
"Please don't take me
in that little room."
216
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,710
There are 1,400 gowns
in this magazine
217
00:10:15,792 --> 00:10:18,082
and I have only seen
600 of them.
218
00:10:18,166 --> 00:10:19,326
I need help!
219
00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:20,747
Okay, listen. You need
to chill the fuck out
220
00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:22,254
and hire yourself a stylist.
221
00:10:22,333 --> 00:10:24,673
-A stylist?
-Some little minion
to run around town
222
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:25,880
and do your dress bidding.
223
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,040
I can hire someone
to do that for me?
224
00:10:28,125 --> 00:10:29,575
Oh, honey,
this is New York City,
225
00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:31,497
you can hire someone
to do anything.
226
00:10:31,583 --> 00:10:32,793
I'll fax you
some names.
227
00:10:32,875 --> 00:10:35,245
Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
228
00:10:35,333 --> 00:10:39,253
Now, if I could only
hire someone to take
that damn test.
229
00:10:39,333 --> 00:10:42,503
[Carrie] Later that night,
I got to thinking
about safe sex.
230
00:10:42,583 --> 00:10:45,293
Odd, how only when
our physical life is at risk
231
00:10:45,375 --> 00:10:48,415
do we follow certain guidelines
to protect ourselves.
232
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:50,750
But what about
our emotional lives?
233
00:10:50,834 --> 00:10:53,254
Wouldn't it be nice if
there was a little pamphlet
234
00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:56,293
to warn us what unsafe behavior
might be high-risk
235
00:10:56,375 --> 00:10:58,665
to ourselves
or our relationships?
236
00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:00,250
And even if you take
all the precautions
237
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:03,293
and emotionally
try to protect yourself,
238
00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:05,665
when you crawl in bed
with someone...
239
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,920
is sex ever safe?
240
00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:11,541
[Miranda] Yeah, I know,
but that's not my problem.
All right...
241
00:11:11,625 --> 00:11:13,325
[Carrie] The next day,
on her way back to work,
242
00:11:13,417 --> 00:11:14,997
Miranda was
about to experience
243
00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:17,333
a different type
of high-risk behavior.
244
00:11:17,417 --> 00:11:18,747
Eat me.
245
00:11:19,041 --> 00:11:20,421
Excuse me?
246
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:22,210
Eat me.
247
00:11:26,166 --> 00:11:27,746
[Carrie] Miranda was furious.
248
00:11:27,834 --> 00:11:30,084
It was bad enough
she had just lost a case,
249
00:11:30,166 --> 00:11:33,626
but now she was being
harassed by a sandwich?
250
00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:36,830
You want pasta,
you go to little Italy.
251
00:11:36,917 --> 00:11:38,877
You want wedding,
you go Wang.
252
00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,669
[Carrie] You want the perfect
wedding dress fast,
253
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:43,210
go to Anthony Marentino,
stylist.
254
00:11:43,291 --> 00:11:44,921
Where is that salesgirl?
255
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:48,750
For these prices
we should be pulling her nose
out of our asses.
256
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,384
Hello!
Someone!
257
00:11:51,458 --> 00:11:52,378
Let's go!
258
00:11:52,458 --> 00:11:54,208
[Carrie] Charlotte was thrilled,
259
00:11:54,291 --> 00:11:58,001
Anthony was like the pushy
Italian mother she never had.
260
00:11:58,083 --> 00:12:00,923
[Anthony] Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go!
261
00:12:03,125 --> 00:12:05,125
Oh, I love them all!
262
00:12:05,208 --> 00:12:06,748
Char...
263
00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:13,125
Duchess satin
with the lace appliqué.
264
00:12:16,417 --> 00:12:18,537
I think the white
is too white.
265
00:12:18,625 --> 00:12:20,415
No, but with
your skin tone--
266
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,460
Hates it! Move on.
267
00:12:24,208 --> 00:12:27,288
The charmeuse strapless
with the net overlay.
268
00:12:32,583 --> 00:12:33,633
Hates it!
269
00:12:34,834 --> 00:12:36,214
Good beadwork, though.
270
00:12:36,583 --> 00:12:38,753
None of these are it,
none of them at all.
271
00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:39,834
None of them.
272
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:42,710
You're dragging!
273
00:12:44,208 --> 00:12:46,128
I hope she doesn't think
I'm a bitch.
274
00:12:46,208 --> 00:12:48,918
She's not paid to think,
she's paid to make you happy.
275
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,830
It's just that I've been
imagining my wedding dress
276
00:12:51,917 --> 00:12:53,287
ever since
I was a little girl
277
00:12:53,375 --> 00:12:54,785
and I want it to be
just perfect.
278
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:58,625
Char, not for nothing,
I've done this a million times.
279
00:12:58,709 --> 00:12:59,879
Don't worry.
280
00:12:59,959 --> 00:13:02,379
You'll know the right dress
when you see it.
281
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:03,788
[saleswoman clears throat]
282
00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:06,833
[gasping] Anthony...
283
00:13:07,458 --> 00:13:08,998
Char?
284
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,960
[Charlotte] That's it.
285
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:17,924
[Carrie] And across town,
Samantha felt as though
she might cry as well.
286
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,330
Have you had
an HIV test before?
287
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:21,790
No.
288
00:13:21,875 --> 00:13:24,035
And why are you
taking this test?
289
00:13:24,709 --> 00:13:26,039
I...
290
00:13:26,583 --> 00:13:28,043
feel...
291
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,125
you know, it's, um--
292
00:13:30,208 --> 00:13:31,538
Are you feeling all right?
293
00:13:31,625 --> 00:13:35,165
-I'm sorry, I'm really nervous.
-Try to relax.
294
00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:36,830
There's just a couple
of routine questions,
295
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,247
nothing to be
alarmed about.
296
00:13:39,375 --> 00:13:41,205
Okay, thanks.
297
00:13:41,291 --> 00:13:43,671
Now...
Do you have sex?
298
00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:44,630
Yes.
299
00:13:44,709 --> 00:13:46,789
Do you have oral sex?
300
00:13:46,875 --> 00:13:47,995
Give? Receive?
301
00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:50,423
Yes, yes, yes.
302
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:52,380
Do you have anal sex?
303
00:13:52,792 --> 00:13:53,922
Yes.
304
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:55,793
Do you swallow?
305
00:13:56,208 --> 00:13:57,958
Only when surprised.
306
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:00,080
Do you use condoms?
307
00:14:00,166 --> 00:14:01,376
Yes.
308
00:14:01,458 --> 00:14:02,918
What kind of condoms?
309
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:06,380
Trojan, Lifestyles, Sheik,
Wet N' Wild--
310
00:14:06,458 --> 00:14:09,828
No, I meant latex, lambskin?
311
00:14:09,917 --> 00:14:12,417
Oh, yes, yes.
312
00:14:12,875 --> 00:14:15,375
How many sexual partners
have you had?
313
00:14:22,417 --> 00:14:23,957
I'm counting.
314
00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:30,460
Um... this year?
315
00:14:30,542 --> 00:14:33,212
[Carrie] While Samantha tried
to remember her sexual past,
316
00:14:33,291 --> 00:14:37,131
I came face to face
with my sexual present.
317
00:14:37,709 --> 00:14:39,709
[Aidan] Mmm... mmm.
318
00:14:39,792 --> 00:14:41,172
Stop.
319
00:14:41,625 --> 00:14:42,745
Stop what?
320
00:14:42,834 --> 00:14:44,834
You're making that sound.
That...
321
00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:48,416
"mmm-mmm"
kissing sound.
322
00:14:48,959 --> 00:14:50,749
It's annoying.
323
00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:54,331
That's a sound I make, I guess.
324
00:14:56,291 --> 00:14:57,751
Come here, I'll...
325
00:14:57,834 --> 00:14:59,924
try not to
do it anymore.
326
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,830
"Look, Ma, no sound."
327
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:20,211
I can't breathe,
I can't breathe!
328
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:27,460
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
329
00:15:31,709 --> 00:15:32,829
Hey...
330
00:15:33,625 --> 00:15:35,825
Don't go, don't go.
331
00:15:36,208 --> 00:15:38,328
You know, I just, I don't--
I don't get it.
332
00:15:38,417 --> 00:15:40,457
You used to like
that sound I make.
333
00:15:40,542 --> 00:15:42,292
I love that sound.
334
00:15:42,917 --> 00:15:44,167
[Aidan sighs]
335
00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:47,420
[unzips pants,
begins to urinate]
336
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:48,670
Where are you going?
337
00:15:48,750 --> 00:15:51,210
I'm gonna go home,
I need a little time.
338
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,960
I'm just in a weird
place right now,
339
00:15:54,041 --> 00:15:56,671
but I'll be out of it soon,
I promise.
340
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:00,876
I'm sorry.
341
00:16:05,041 --> 00:16:06,581
Say it's okay.
342
00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:08,706
It's okay.
343
00:16:11,291 --> 00:16:12,381
What can I do?
344
00:16:12,458 --> 00:16:15,538
Nothing, it's me,
it's all me.
345
00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:18,958
I just... need time
to figure it out.
346
00:16:19,041 --> 00:16:21,421
Maybe I'll give you
a little room to do that.
347
00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:24,210
You're not saying that
in a bad way, right?
348
00:16:26,083 --> 00:16:27,213
No.
349
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,420
I'll be right downtown.
350
00:16:34,208 --> 00:16:36,128
Hey, buddy...
351
00:16:36,208 --> 00:16:38,078
Call me later?
352
00:16:38,166 --> 00:16:39,916
It's one in the morning.
353
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,830
I'll call you tomorrow.
354
00:16:42,417 --> 00:16:43,667
Make the noise.
355
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:45,960
Please make the noise.
356
00:16:46,333 --> 00:16:48,213
Mmm...
357
00:16:58,583 --> 00:17:01,173
Goodnight, nut.
358
00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:02,920
I'm sorry.
359
00:17:04,667 --> 00:17:07,827
I didn't know what I was doing,
but I was pretty sure
360
00:17:07,917 --> 00:17:11,877
I had just entered high-risk
relationship behavior.
361
00:17:13,959 --> 00:17:14,919
[sandwich] Eat me.
362
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,460
[Carrie] Three days later,
363
00:17:16,542 --> 00:17:19,082
Miranda had finally
gotten her fill of the sandwich.
364
00:17:19,166 --> 00:17:20,376
Okay, that's it.
365
00:17:20,458 --> 00:17:22,418
You're not allowed
to harass women like that.
366
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,040
Eat me.
367
00:17:24,125 --> 00:17:25,455
We'll see
about that.
368
00:17:30,542 --> 00:17:31,462
Hi.
369
00:17:31,709 --> 00:17:33,539
I'd like to speak
to the manager, please.
370
00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:34,535
Yeah, that's me.
371
00:17:34,625 --> 00:17:35,745
Okay, then, listen.
372
00:17:35,834 --> 00:17:37,334
That sandwich out front
373
00:17:37,417 --> 00:17:40,327
is saying sexually
explicit things to women
as they walk by.
374
00:17:40,417 --> 00:17:42,497
-What'd he say?
-"Eat me."
375
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:43,793
Yeah, he's a sandwich.
376
00:17:43,875 --> 00:17:45,875
No, he didn't say it
in the "sandwich way,"
377
00:17:45,959 --> 00:17:48,379
he said it in
the sexual harassing way.
378
00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:50,918
Lady, he's a sandwich.
379
00:17:56,500 --> 00:18:00,000
-Eat me.
-Oh, you're so brave
inside your sandwich!
380
00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:03,457
[Carrie] And then,
Miranda glimpsed just enough
381
00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:06,082
of his full lips
and shiny white teeth
382
00:18:06,166 --> 00:18:07,826
to stop thinking
about the sandwich
383
00:18:07,917 --> 00:18:11,497
and start wondering about
the man inside the bun.
384
00:18:12,583 --> 00:18:14,633
I can't stop
thinking about him.
385
00:18:14,709 --> 00:18:16,959
You're telling me
you're turned on
by a sandwich?
386
00:18:17,041 --> 00:18:20,881
Well, I-- I think it's the fact
that I can't see him.
387
00:18:20,959 --> 00:18:22,669
It's dangerous or something.
388
00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:24,960
I think that is
one fresh sandwich.
389
00:18:25,041 --> 00:18:26,671
His voice is so sexy,
390
00:18:26,750 --> 00:18:28,380
but he's probably
a troll.
391
00:18:28,458 --> 00:18:31,748
I mean, any man
who propositions a woman
from inside a big sandwich
392
00:18:31,834 --> 00:18:33,634
has got to be
a troll, right?
393
00:18:33,709 --> 00:18:34,749
[Carrie]
I don't know.
394
00:18:34,834 --> 00:18:36,584
You think he's white meat?
395
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:38,377
[chuckles]
396
00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:40,543
[laughs]
397
00:18:41,291 --> 00:18:42,421
Oh, wow.
398
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,330
That's the first laugh
I've had in weeks.
399
00:18:44,417 --> 00:18:46,707
Thank the sandwich for me,
when you're having
sex with him, huh?
400
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:50,212
I-- I can't have sex
with a sandwich.
401
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,290
Can I?
402
00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:54,245
Well, I never thought
I'd have sex with a married ex.
403
00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:56,043
Can a hoagie
be that far behind?
404
00:18:56,125 --> 00:18:57,625
[chuckles]
405
00:18:57,709 --> 00:18:59,539
Oh, Miranda.
406
00:18:59,750 --> 00:19:01,670
What the hell
am I gonna do?
407
00:19:03,625 --> 00:19:06,245
[nurse over PA]
Dr. [indistinct]
report to Pediatrics.
408
00:19:06,333 --> 00:19:09,173
[Carrie] As Samantha sat
and waited for her test results
409
00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:12,040
she had one thought
over and over,
410
00:19:12,125 --> 00:19:14,665
"Please, don't let them
take me into that little room."
411
00:19:14,750 --> 00:19:16,130
[nurse] Miss Jones,
I've got your results.
412
00:19:16,208 --> 00:19:19,168
Please come with me.
413
00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:22,540
[nurse over PA]
Dr. [indistinct]
please report to Pediatrics.
414
00:19:25,208 --> 00:19:26,878
[Carrie] Samantha began to
realize
415
00:19:26,959 --> 00:19:29,579
she was being taken
into that little room.
416
00:19:32,583 --> 00:19:34,503
She was
perfectly healthy.
417
00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:39,833
The nurse just wanted
a quiet place to lecture her
on safe sex practices.
418
00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:45,377
Later that week, somehow I
found
myself back at the corner
of 56th and safe.
419
00:19:48,875 --> 00:19:50,125
How much?
420
00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:51,920
Excuse me?
421
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:54,211
I see you here before.
422
00:19:55,417 --> 00:19:57,747
For sex... How much?
423
00:20:00,375 --> 00:20:01,665
All right, that's it,
I'm out of here.
424
00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:04,040
That Japanese businessman
thinks I'm a hooker.
425
00:20:04,125 --> 00:20:06,075
Wait a minute,
Carrie!
426
00:20:12,583 --> 00:20:13,793
Carrie?
427
00:20:14,208 --> 00:20:16,418
Oh my God!
What are you doing
in this neighborhood?
428
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,630
Carrie, can we--
429
00:20:23,542 --> 00:20:24,632
Hey...
430
00:20:26,583 --> 00:20:28,963
You know, uh, I was
doing business in the area
431
00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:30,881
and we kinda
bumped into each other.
432
00:20:30,959 --> 00:20:32,379
Charlotte, how are you?
433
00:20:32,834 --> 00:20:36,044
I was just-- I just checked
on my wedding dress,
it's at a tailor and, uh--
434
00:20:36,125 --> 00:20:38,875
-Charlotte...
-I better go. [clears throat]
435
00:20:38,959 --> 00:20:40,919
Wait, Charlotte!
436
00:20:42,792 --> 00:20:46,212
[Carrie] Well, that was that,
now, nowhere was safe...
437
00:20:46,291 --> 00:20:48,581
not even 56th and Eighth.
438
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:52,829
It was a force
bigger than me,
439
00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:56,247
like Niagara Falls
or something, you know?
440
00:20:56,333 --> 00:20:58,713
No, I don't know.
He's married.
441
00:20:58,792 --> 00:21:00,292
I know he's married!
442
00:21:00,375 --> 00:21:03,415
That makes you
the "other woman."
You're the other woman.
443
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:05,250
I am not
the "other woman."
444
00:21:05,333 --> 00:21:09,043
I'm not, I mean,
I know I am, but...
445
00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:11,667
I am not that woman.
446
00:21:11,750 --> 00:21:14,420
Please, Charlotte,
I feel bad enough already.
447
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:16,500
Good, you should
feel bad.
448
00:21:16,583 --> 00:21:18,713
Do you ever think about how
she'd feel if she found out?
449
00:21:18,792 --> 00:21:20,252
Yes, I think about it
all the time.
450
00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:21,753
No, you don't.
451
00:21:21,834 --> 00:21:24,134
You think about
what would happen to you
if she found out.
452
00:21:24,208 --> 00:21:25,578
You don't
think about her.
453
00:21:25,667 --> 00:21:26,957
She's just
the idiot wife.
454
00:21:27,041 --> 00:21:28,751
You don't know
anything about her.
455
00:21:28,834 --> 00:21:31,254
Okay, in a minute, I'm gonna
suffocate myself
in this bubble wrap.
456
00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:33,673
This isn't a joke,
Carrie.
457
00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:36,250
They took vows,
vows he broke.
458
00:21:36,333 --> 00:21:38,083
I'm getting married
in three weeks.
459
00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:40,036
How would you feel
if someone did this to me?
460
00:21:41,750 --> 00:21:43,380
I would kill them.
461
00:21:46,375 --> 00:21:47,955
How could you do this?
462
00:21:48,041 --> 00:21:51,081
I mean,
you're my maid of honor.
463
00:21:52,041 --> 00:21:54,131
I'm getting out, I am.
464
00:21:54,208 --> 00:21:56,288
Can I please
help you pack now?
465
00:21:56,375 --> 00:21:58,625
[Carrie] So we stood
and bubble-wrapped,
466
00:21:58,709 --> 00:22:02,039
the bride-to-be
and her maid of dishonor.
467
00:22:04,166 --> 00:22:07,206
A week of fantasizing
hot sex with the unknown man
468
00:22:07,291 --> 00:22:09,921
inside the sandwich
had gotten to Miranda.
469
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,380
Safe or not,
she needed to at least see
470
00:22:12,458 --> 00:22:14,458
who it was
she was dealing with.
471
00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:17,172
Hi. Look, this is so silly.
472
00:22:17,250 --> 00:22:18,460
Eat me.
473
00:22:19,417 --> 00:22:21,577
Let me see your face.
474
00:22:28,208 --> 00:22:31,788
[Carrie] Even though he was kind
of cute, Miranda walked away.
475
00:22:31,875 --> 00:22:34,575
After all, what did they
really have in common?
476
00:22:34,667 --> 00:22:38,497
She was a lawyer
and he was a sandwich.
477
00:22:38,583 --> 00:22:40,213
Later that day
at Tom Reymi's,
478
00:22:40,291 --> 00:22:43,001
after a week
of sheer anxiety,
479
00:22:43,083 --> 00:22:47,133
Samantha enjoyed the benefits
of totally safe sex.
480
00:22:47,208 --> 00:22:50,078
-[both moaning loudly]
-[opera music]
481
00:22:52,125 --> 00:22:54,035
Oh, yes!
482
00:22:55,083 --> 00:22:56,043
[Samantha] Aah!
483
00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:57,575
[opera music ends]
484
00:22:57,667 --> 00:22:58,707
Ow!
485
00:22:58,792 --> 00:23:00,542
Take your time.
Um, you know, shower,
486
00:23:00,625 --> 00:23:02,665
there's stuff in the kitchen
if you're hungry.
487
00:23:02,750 --> 00:23:04,380
[Carrie] It was the lowest
of the low.
488
00:23:04,458 --> 00:23:06,708
I had just finished making love
to my married ex-boyfriend
489
00:23:06,792 --> 00:23:08,792
on his lunch hour
at his apartment
490
00:23:08,875 --> 00:23:12,785
while his 25-year-old wife
was sunning herself
at the Hamptons.
491
00:23:12,875 --> 00:23:13,995
Jesus.
492
00:23:14,667 --> 00:23:15,997
What?
493
00:23:16,583 --> 00:23:19,293
Could I feel any more
like a hooker?
494
00:23:24,125 --> 00:23:26,455
Why do you keep
doing that to yourself?
495
00:23:26,542 --> 00:23:28,042
Hmm?
496
00:23:28,125 --> 00:23:30,955
[Carrie] I think we should
stop seeing each other.
497
00:23:32,125 --> 00:23:33,625
Why?
498
00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:40,251
You're married.
499
00:23:40,333 --> 00:23:43,383
All right, hand me the phone,
I'm gonna call her right now.
500
00:23:43,458 --> 00:23:44,538
Hand me the phone.
501
00:23:44,625 --> 00:23:45,825
Don't be ridiculous!
502
00:23:45,917 --> 00:23:46,997
And what are you gonna do?
503
00:23:47,083 --> 00:23:49,003
You're gonna call her
at the beach
504
00:23:49,083 --> 00:23:52,083
and say that you love me
and you want a divorce?
505
00:23:52,166 --> 00:23:53,456
You don't want me
to call her
506
00:23:53,542 --> 00:23:55,712
because you're still
in love with that other guy.
507
00:23:55,792 --> 00:23:56,922
This is about
that other guy.
508
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,080
The other guy has a name,
it's Aidan!
509
00:23:59,166 --> 00:24:01,916
-And you have a wife, Natasha!
-Give me the phone.
510
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,580
And if you really wanted
to tell her, you would have
told her by now!
511
00:24:04,667 --> 00:24:06,827
What the fuck?
You told me not to tell her!
512
00:24:10,083 --> 00:24:12,173
Here,
call her.
513
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,960
If I make that call...
514
00:24:17,166 --> 00:24:19,076
are you gonna
be there for me?
515
00:24:19,166 --> 00:24:21,746
Are we gonna
do this, really?
516
00:24:22,166 --> 00:24:24,706
I mean, I mea--
out in the daylight,
517
00:24:24,792 --> 00:24:28,792
no cocktails,
no hotel rooms, real life.
518
00:24:28,875 --> 00:24:31,535
Carrie, in or out?
519
00:24:35,834 --> 00:24:37,714
I need more time.
520
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,880
I'm calling her Monday.
521
00:24:44,875 --> 00:24:45,875
I have to go.
522
00:24:45,959 --> 00:24:47,919
You know how to
let yourself out.
523
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,460
[Carrie] I couldn't
help but wonder
524
00:24:49,542 --> 00:24:52,832
if I really did know the way
to let myself out.
525
00:24:59,041 --> 00:25:00,961
Charlotte was right.
526
00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:03,081
What did I really
know about Natasha?
527
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,580
Natasha is a woman
who likes tea roses.
528
00:25:12,083 --> 00:25:14,923
Natasha is a woman who
collects antique sugar bowls.
529
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,130
-[door opens]
-[Natasha] Honey?
530
00:25:17,208 --> 00:25:20,668
[Carrie] Natasha is a woman
who comes home from
the Hamptons early.
531
00:25:20,750 --> 00:25:22,330
[Natasha] Honey, are you here?
532
00:25:22,417 --> 00:25:24,077
I took the Jitney home.
533
00:25:25,959 --> 00:25:27,129
[chair clatters]
534
00:25:27,458 --> 00:25:29,248
[Natasha] Sweetheart?
535
00:25:32,750 --> 00:25:34,630
-Honey?
-[Carrie] Oh!
536
00:25:36,458 --> 00:25:39,418
Carrie, I see you!
537
00:25:40,166 --> 00:25:41,496
Wait!
538
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:44,633
I knew you were
having an affair,
but not in my house!
539
00:25:44,709 --> 00:25:46,959
Stop, I'm talking to you!
540
00:25:48,166 --> 00:25:49,576
[Carrie gasps]
541
00:25:55,166 --> 00:25:56,996
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
542
00:25:57,083 --> 00:26:00,043
I had always assumed
the one who would be hurt
in all this
543
00:26:00,125 --> 00:26:02,035
would be me.
544
00:26:02,125 --> 00:26:04,495
Taxi! Taxi...
545
00:26:10,083 --> 00:26:14,133
Near-- Near-- Nearest hospital!
Shit.
546
00:26:40,542 --> 00:26:42,132
Is she all right?
547
00:26:42,208 --> 00:26:44,168
She lost a tooth and
needed a stitch in her lip.
548
00:26:44,250 --> 00:26:47,080
They had a plastic surgeon
and it won't scar.
549
00:26:47,166 --> 00:26:48,996
She's scared and swollen.
550
00:26:51,709 --> 00:26:53,669
Her parents are on the way.
551
00:26:53,750 --> 00:26:55,330
I have to go.
552
00:26:55,417 --> 00:26:56,497
Carrie...
553
00:26:56,583 --> 00:26:57,633
Hey.
554
00:26:59,166 --> 00:27:00,996
Thanks for being here.
555
00:27:03,709 --> 00:27:05,289
I'll call you.
556
00:27:07,041 --> 00:27:09,001
For what?
557
00:27:10,041 --> 00:27:12,001
We're so over...
558
00:27:12,709 --> 00:27:14,879
we need a new word
for over.
559
00:27:18,041 --> 00:27:19,171
Carrie...
560
00:27:39,625 --> 00:27:41,205
[Aidan] Surprise.
561
00:27:42,083 --> 00:27:43,503
Where you been
all day?
562
00:27:44,792 --> 00:27:48,082
Oh, I just went
to a museum.
563
00:27:48,166 --> 00:27:49,786
I was walkin' around.
564
00:27:49,875 --> 00:27:51,785
Oh, yeah?
How was that?
565
00:27:52,250 --> 00:27:53,420
It was good.
566
00:27:54,083 --> 00:27:56,083
I'm just gonna wash my face,
I'll be right in.
567
00:27:56,166 --> 00:27:57,126
Okay.
568
00:28:08,291 --> 00:28:10,921
[Carrie] Somehow,
I had found a way to let myself
569
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,630
out of the mess
and I'd made it home.