1 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,460 One of the reasons some people 2 00:01:00,542 --> 00:01:03,792 still risk the possible horror of a first date 3 00:01:03,875 --> 00:01:06,375 is the possible magic of the goodnight kiss 4 00:01:06,458 --> 00:01:07,578 at the front door. 5 00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:08,707 It was so good. 6 00:01:08,792 --> 00:01:10,792 I had a great time. 7 00:01:11,125 --> 00:01:12,495 So did I. 8 00:01:12,583 --> 00:01:15,043 The world slows down, just for a second, 9 00:01:15,125 --> 00:01:17,625 as some people take that hopeful lean 10 00:01:17,709 --> 00:01:19,959 into a possible future together. 11 00:01:30,667 --> 00:01:32,037 Eww! 12 00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:35,075 I mean, all around my mouth. 13 00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:36,416 Eww! 14 00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:37,580 How do you think I felt? 15 00:01:37,667 --> 00:01:39,417 His tongue actually licked my teeth. 16 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,580 I don't get it... 17 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,497 did he want to fuck you or floss you? 18 00:01:42,583 --> 00:01:44,083 Bad kissers are the worst. 19 00:01:44,166 --> 00:01:45,456 The worst. When it comes to the worst, 20 00:01:45,542 --> 00:01:47,672 they're at the top, the top of the worst. 21 00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:48,880 He has these sweet little lips. 22 00:01:48,959 --> 00:01:50,289 I thought he would be a good kisser. 23 00:01:50,375 --> 00:01:51,915 See, that's the scary thing, you can never tell. 24 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:52,960 They look totally normal. 25 00:01:53,041 --> 00:01:54,171 Until their pointy tongue 26 00:01:54,250 --> 00:01:56,040 is darting in and out of your mouth. 27 00:01:56,125 --> 00:01:57,575 Oh, stabby-little- pointy-tongue. 28 00:01:57,667 --> 00:01:59,287 -That is the worst of the worst. 29 00:01:59,375 --> 00:02:00,745 No, no, no, what's worse 30 00:02:00,834 --> 00:02:02,584 is when they expect you to do all the work, 31 00:02:02,667 --> 00:02:05,747 and their tongue just lays there in your mouth like a clam. 32 00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:07,254 Eww! 33 00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:09,293 The "clam mouth," that's the worst! 34 00:02:09,375 --> 00:02:11,375 At that point I say, "Get that thing out of my mouth, 35 00:02:11,458 --> 00:02:13,378 put it in a cab, and take its lazy ass home." 36 00:02:13,458 --> 00:02:15,288 You'd dump a guy because of a bad kiss? 37 00:02:15,375 --> 00:02:16,625 Honey, you have to. 38 00:02:16,709 --> 00:02:18,789 I mean, if their tongue's just gonna lay there, 39 00:02:18,875 --> 00:02:20,455 what do you think their dick's gonna do? 40 00:02:20,542 --> 00:02:22,962 -Point taken. -Maybe we can work on it. 41 00:02:23,041 --> 00:02:24,211 -"Practice makes perfect." -No, no, no. 42 00:02:24,291 --> 00:02:25,381 No, dump him. 43 00:02:25,458 --> 00:02:27,458 A bad kisser is a non-negotiable. 44 00:02:27,542 --> 00:02:30,382 I am not gonna dump Brad just because of that. 45 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:31,960 Then, might I suggest, 46 00:02:32,041 --> 00:02:34,831 you change his name from Brad to "Bad"? 47 00:02:35,250 --> 00:02:37,500 But I really like him, I mean, well, I did until... 48 00:02:37,583 --> 00:02:39,633 Until his tongue was in your stomach? 49 00:02:39,709 --> 00:02:41,289 Eww! 50 00:02:41,375 --> 00:02:43,825 I'm going to have to ask you ladies to hold it down. 51 00:02:43,917 --> 00:02:45,537 This is a respectable restaurant. 52 00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:48,245 Adeena Williams was my newspaper's former food editor 53 00:02:48,333 --> 00:02:50,833 and the chef and proud owner of Fusion, 54 00:02:50,917 --> 00:02:52,457 a restaurant whose specialty 55 00:02:52,542 --> 00:02:55,422 was a mingling of trendy food 56 00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:57,630 Martha Stewart meets Puff Daddy... 57 00:02:57,709 --> 00:02:58,669 on a plate. 58 00:02:58,750 --> 00:03:01,330 So... the poached salmon with okra? 59 00:03:01,417 --> 00:03:02,827 -Oh, so good. -Heaven. 60 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,667 Oh, trust me, this time next year, 61 00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:07,420 okra will be the new edamame. 62 00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:11,210 Hey, sis, we're leaving. You want to come say goodbye? 63 00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:14,171 Everybody, this is my successful brother 64 00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:18,500 who brings me tons of that juicy music industry business. 65 00:03:18,583 --> 00:03:21,173 Hey, listen, I gotta go, but I'm sending over dessert. 66 00:03:21,250 --> 00:03:23,830 -No! -Pecan and praline pie. 67 00:03:23,917 --> 00:03:25,167 Yes! 68 00:03:25,875 --> 00:03:28,995 Didn't I meet you at the Columbia Records party for Jennifer Lopez? 69 00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:31,213 I don't think so. 70 00:03:31,291 --> 00:03:32,421 My PR firm handled it, 71 00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:35,040 but I'm sure I'd remember meeting you. 72 00:03:35,125 --> 00:03:37,125 Well, I guess I just saw you. 73 00:03:37,458 --> 00:03:39,038 Chivon Williams, artists' rep for-- 74 00:03:39,125 --> 00:03:41,785 Tommy Boy Records, I remember from the guest list. 75 00:03:42,125 --> 00:03:43,165 You're good. 76 00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:44,877 Samantha Jones. 77 00:03:45,083 --> 00:03:46,753 If you ever need me... 78 00:03:47,667 --> 00:03:48,917 for a party. 79 00:03:52,792 --> 00:03:54,882 Ladies, I apologize for interrupting. 80 00:03:54,959 --> 00:03:56,039 Have a pleasant evening. 81 00:03:56,125 --> 00:03:57,165 You too. Bye. 82 00:03:59,792 --> 00:04:01,132 Could he be any cuter? 83 00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:03,962 You gotta love a fella who loves the jewelry. 84 00:04:04,041 --> 00:04:05,711 That is one fine looking man. 85 00:04:05,792 --> 00:04:07,712 I'd like to get me some of that. 86 00:04:07,792 --> 00:04:09,042 Don't talk like that. 87 00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:10,035 Like what? 88 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,415 You know. 89 00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,920 Oh, relax with the knee-jerk liberal reaction. 90 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,830 That wasn't "black talk," that was "sex talk." 91 00:04:16,917 --> 00:04:19,667 Okay, first of all, it isn't "black" talk, 92 00:04:19,750 --> 00:04:22,080 it's "African-American" talk. 93 00:04:22,417 --> 00:04:24,377 And you shouldn't be talking like that at all, Samantha. 94 00:04:24,458 --> 00:04:26,668 It's rude and politically incorrect. 95 00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:29,330 Sweetie, Samantha is rude and politically incorrect. 96 00:04:29,417 --> 00:04:31,247 She's an equal opportunity offender. 97 00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:32,333 Precisely. 98 00:04:32,417 --> 00:04:34,877 I don't see color, I see conquests. 99 00:04:34,959 --> 00:04:36,879 Talk about "affirmative action." 100 00:04:40,792 --> 00:04:42,502 The next morning, I had just settled down 101 00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,753 with a coffee cup full of fresh coffee 102 00:04:44,834 --> 00:04:48,334 and a coffee table full of fresh fashion magazines, when... 103 00:04:48,417 --> 00:04:49,247 Who is it? 104 00:04:49,333 --> 00:04:51,633 Mr. Right. 105 00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:53,919 Have you seen The New York Times ' style section? 106 00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,580 You know I can't handle hard news before noon. 107 00:04:56,959 --> 00:05:00,879 There's a beautiful man downtown selling beautiful furniture. We're going. 108 00:05:00,959 --> 00:05:03,129 Stanford, I got a whole afternoon planned 109 00:05:03,208 --> 00:05:04,248 with Australian Vogue . 110 00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:05,713 I'm not just gonna drop everything 111 00:05:05,792 --> 00:05:07,962 to go downtown to see some cute guy. 112 00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:10,330 -He's straight. -I'll get my purse. 113 00:05:10,417 --> 00:05:12,497 All these people with nothing better to do 114 00:05:12,583 --> 00:05:14,583 than to ogle some lowly craftsman? 115 00:05:14,667 --> 00:05:15,497 Pathetic. 116 00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,133 Really, look at this place. 117 00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:19,288 It's nothing but baguettes and faggots. 118 00:05:20,542 --> 00:05:21,672 Ooh. 119 00:05:22,625 --> 00:05:24,205 -Ew. -Ooh. 120 00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:26,211 If you see anything you like, just tell them you're a designer. 121 00:05:26,291 --> 00:05:27,961 These places always give a discount. 122 00:05:28,041 --> 00:05:30,081 That's how I got 50 bucks off my end table. 123 00:05:30,166 --> 00:05:31,826 Ah, jeez, you're a classy guy. 124 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:34,672 One second. 125 00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:36,130 Mm? Mm-mmm. 126 00:05:36,208 --> 00:05:38,208 His name was Aidan Shaw. 127 00:05:38,291 --> 00:05:41,921 He was warm, masculine, and classic American... 128 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,380 just like his furniture. 129 00:05:43,458 --> 00:05:45,458 Jesus Christ, the dog is overkill. 130 00:05:45,542 --> 00:05:46,752 Go get him. 131 00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:48,333 Excuse me? 132 00:05:48,417 --> 00:05:49,497 He's perfect for you. 133 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,083 I'll come visit you and the children 134 00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:52,536 at your country cabin upstate. 135 00:05:52,625 --> 00:05:54,415 I think we're staring, look away. 136 00:05:55,709 --> 00:05:57,129 His name was Marty Mendleson. 137 00:05:57,208 --> 00:06:00,038 He was warm, stylish, and classic gay... 138 00:06:00,125 --> 00:06:01,415 just like his outfit. 139 00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:03,880 He's a fantastic designer, and single. 140 00:06:03,959 --> 00:06:04,999 Go get him. 141 00:06:05,083 --> 00:06:06,173 I'll come visit you and the swatches 142 00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:08,210 at your country cabin upstate. 143 00:06:13,417 --> 00:06:14,667 Hey, doggie. 144 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:17,210 -Hi, hi. 145 00:06:17,291 --> 00:06:18,631 Oh. 146 00:06:19,041 --> 00:06:19,831 Okay. 147 00:06:19,917 --> 00:06:23,287 Yeah. Okay, down. 148 00:06:23,375 --> 00:06:24,915 That's bad, doggie, down. 149 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,000 -Seriously, down. -Oh, hey. 150 00:06:27,083 --> 00:06:29,753 Hey, okay, there you go. 151 00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:33,881 You should get that creature a chew toy or something. 152 00:06:34,250 --> 00:06:36,960 Look, to his credit, he only picks the best looking ladies. 153 00:06:37,291 --> 00:06:39,791 You can't imagine how flattered I am. 154 00:06:39,875 --> 00:06:42,075 -I'm Aidan. -I'm humiliated. 155 00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:45,076 It's my fault, I shouldn't let him run around loose in the store. 156 00:06:45,458 --> 00:06:47,628 Oh! This is your store? 157 00:06:47,709 --> 00:06:49,289 I had no idea. 158 00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:51,625 As soon as I heard the lie come out of my mouth, 159 00:06:51,709 --> 00:06:53,999 I knew I was kinda interested. 160 00:06:58,375 --> 00:06:59,745 This is a beautiful chair. 161 00:06:59,834 --> 00:07:01,754 This is my favorite piece in the shop. 162 00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:04,214 Aw, you say that about every piece, right? 163 00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:06,041 Not really. 164 00:07:06,542 --> 00:07:08,132 This leather's about a hundred years old. 165 00:07:08,208 --> 00:07:11,328 I stripped it off an old railroad car seat. 166 00:07:11,417 --> 00:07:12,537 Here, feel this. 167 00:07:18,291 --> 00:07:19,291 Soft, huh? 168 00:07:19,375 --> 00:07:20,955 I'll take it. 169 00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:23,831 I wasn't really in the market for a big leather chair, 170 00:07:23,917 --> 00:07:25,747 but suddenly I had to have 171 00:07:25,834 --> 00:07:28,134 whatever it was that I just felt. 172 00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:30,960 Um, uh, I'm a designer. 173 00:07:31,041 --> 00:07:34,581 Carrie Bradshaw... "Carrie Bradshaw Designs." 174 00:07:34,667 --> 00:07:36,497 Okay, let's see, with the, uh... 175 00:07:37,417 --> 00:07:38,877 designer discount... 176 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,540 and the dog-humiliation factor... 177 00:07:44,208 --> 00:07:45,208 how's that? 178 00:07:47,542 --> 00:07:49,132 How soon can it be delivered? 179 00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:51,128 I can get it to you the end of the week. 180 00:07:51,208 --> 00:07:53,128 In New York City retail lingo, 181 00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:55,288 I kinda like you too. 182 00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,035 Cool, I just got 183 00:07:57,125 --> 00:07:58,415 where do you want it delivered 184 00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:00,540 and can I take you out to dinner sometime? 185 00:08:02,542 --> 00:08:04,292 Will you knock another $10 off? 186 00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:07,580 The dog humping aside, it was one of those 187 00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:09,207 perfect New York Saturdays. 188 00:08:09,875 --> 00:08:11,205 I'm back! 189 00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,711 And uptown at Miranda's, 190 00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:15,332 Steve was having an even better Saturday. 191 00:08:15,417 --> 00:08:17,207 Guess what happened? It's so fucking great! 192 00:08:17,291 --> 00:08:18,421 What? 193 00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:20,460 You know how at halftime at the Knicks game, 194 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,542 when they pick somebody to try and make a half-court shot 195 00:08:22,625 --> 00:08:23,825 for a million-dollar prize? 196 00:08:23,917 --> 00:08:25,497 Kinda, but go ahead. 197 00:08:25,583 --> 00:08:27,293 Well, next Tuesday... 198 00:08:27,709 --> 00:08:30,209 it's fuckin' me! They picked my name 199 00:08:30,291 --> 00:08:32,671 from the contest I entered at Sam Goody's! 200 00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:34,540 Well... great! 201 00:08:34,625 --> 00:08:37,535 Yeah! No, Miranda, it's not great. 202 00:08:37,625 --> 00:08:40,875 A million dollars, it's fucking great! 203 00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:44,463 Yes, Steve, it is fucking great. 204 00:08:44,542 --> 00:08:46,502 But just don't get your hopes up. 205 00:08:46,583 --> 00:08:48,083 It's a kinda tough shot, isn't it? 206 00:08:48,166 --> 00:08:50,666 Yeah, for other guys, but they don't have my moves, see? 207 00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:52,750 Okay. 208 00:08:54,208 --> 00:08:55,668 You know what the problem here is? 209 00:08:55,750 --> 00:08:57,130 You don't know how good I am. 210 00:08:57,208 --> 00:08:59,828 Don't let these legs fool you, I'm fucking great. 211 00:08:59,917 --> 00:09:01,207 I like your little legs. 212 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,711 Okay, let's go down to the playground right now. 213 00:09:03,792 --> 00:09:05,002 I'll show you! 214 00:09:05,083 --> 00:09:06,583 No, please, I believe you. 215 00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:07,877 You've got the moves! 216 00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:09,459 -Whoo! No, no, no. 217 00:09:09,542 --> 00:09:12,042 I don't want no charity, seeing is believing. 218 00:09:12,125 --> 00:09:14,325 Next Saturday, you come down to the playground 219 00:09:14,417 --> 00:09:15,877 and watch me shoot, promise? 220 00:09:15,959 --> 00:09:17,499 Promise? 221 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,789 -Ah! -Hey! 222 00:09:20,875 --> 00:09:22,825 That's Ralph Lauren paint. 223 00:09:22,917 --> 00:09:24,037 Yeah, I'll buy you more. 224 00:09:24,125 --> 00:09:27,125 I'm a fuckin' millionaire! Whoo! 225 00:09:28,291 --> 00:09:29,671 I have a crush. 226 00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:31,383 Yeah? 227 00:09:31,458 --> 00:09:32,418 Yep. 228 00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:33,790 Good. 229 00:09:33,875 --> 00:09:35,375 You haven't had a real crush in a while. 230 00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:36,458 Not since Big. 231 00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:39,002 Big wasn't a crush, he was a crash. 232 00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,496 His name is Aidan 233 00:09:45,625 --> 00:09:47,625 and I believe him to be very cute. 234 00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:51,245 So cute, I bought a chair I couldn't afford 235 00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:52,833 just because he made it. 236 00:09:52,917 --> 00:09:54,037 Did he ask you out? 237 00:09:55,542 --> 00:09:57,042 So the chair's a write-off. 238 00:09:57,875 --> 00:10:00,205 I haven't had a crush since Sean Cassidy. 239 00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:02,415 -No way! -Sadly, yes. 240 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:05,880 At this age, I'd have to say I'm "crush-proof." 241 00:10:05,959 --> 00:10:08,039 What about Steve? 242 00:10:08,583 --> 00:10:11,583 Oh, God, right, I forgot about my boyfriend. 243 00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:12,707 Is that normal? 244 00:10:12,792 --> 00:10:14,002 You're asking me? 245 00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:17,000 Steve thinks he's gonna win a million dollars. 246 00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:18,496 You told me. 247 00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:20,583 I guess I have to keep repeating it until I believe it. 248 00:10:20,667 --> 00:10:21,877 It's totally illogical. 249 00:10:21,959 --> 00:10:23,999 And then he wants me to be all supportive. 250 00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:24,923 Well? 251 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:25,790 Well, what? 252 00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,325 It's a half-court shot. 253 00:10:27,417 --> 00:10:29,207 There are actual Knicks who can't make it. 254 00:10:29,291 --> 00:10:31,791 I would have no trouble supporting him if it was a real dream, 255 00:10:31,875 --> 00:10:34,125 like opening his own bar or something, 256 00:10:34,208 --> 00:10:35,878 but this is just silly. 257 00:10:35,959 --> 00:10:38,209 Isn't that what you couples do? 258 00:10:38,291 --> 00:10:40,251 Support each other's silly dreams? 259 00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:41,753 You're asking me? 260 00:10:44,333 --> 00:10:47,383 Later that week, Chivon invited Samantha to go uptown 261 00:10:47,458 --> 00:10:49,458 and hear an artist he was thinking of signing. 262 00:10:49,542 --> 00:10:51,882 Back of the line, motherfucker! 263 00:10:53,792 --> 00:10:55,922 That ain't right, that ain't right. 264 00:11:01,250 --> 00:11:03,960 Although Samantha had been in the New York club scene for years, 265 00:11:04,041 --> 00:11:06,751 this was the first time she was expected to spread 266 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,544 without, at least, the offer of a cocktail. 267 00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:16,208 And this right here is DJ Oh Man... 268 00:11:16,291 --> 00:11:17,831 Within a matter of minutes, 269 00:11:17,917 --> 00:11:20,627 Samantha felt perfectly at home in Chivon's world. 270 00:11:20,709 --> 00:11:22,919 Hey, guys, I'm Samantha. 271 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,710 What's up, Samantha? 272 00:11:24,792 --> 00:11:26,502 And within a matter of hours, 273 00:11:26,583 --> 00:11:29,383 Chivon was perfectly at home in Samantha's home. 274 00:11:29,458 --> 00:11:31,458 -Do you like this groove? -Mm. 275 00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:32,832 It's a new kid out of Philly. 276 00:11:32,917 --> 00:11:34,247 I'm surprised it's so soft. 277 00:11:34,333 --> 00:11:36,213 I thought all rap had a harder edge. 278 00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:38,540 It can be hard or soft... 279 00:11:39,542 --> 00:11:40,632 like you. 280 00:11:41,917 --> 00:11:44,747 I mean, you have so much attitude up front... 281 00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:46,580 Look at you now, 282 00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:49,581 soft, sweet. 283 00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:50,996 Sweet? 284 00:11:51,083 --> 00:11:52,463 Me? 285 00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:55,960 Who do you think you're fooling? Huh? 286 00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,630 You know... 287 00:12:00,542 --> 00:12:02,542 I don't usually sleep with men 288 00:12:02,625 --> 00:12:05,745 who have nicer accessories than me. 289 00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:08,709 Where did you get these fabulous earrings? 290 00:12:08,792 --> 00:12:10,542 -Tiffany. 291 00:12:10,625 --> 00:12:11,665 Where else? 292 00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:16,633 I hope you can sleep in a little. 293 00:12:17,750 --> 00:12:18,790 Sleep? 294 00:12:20,834 --> 00:12:23,544 Samantha rarely asked a man to stay over, 295 00:12:23,625 --> 00:12:25,245 but she just couldn't resist 296 00:12:25,333 --> 00:12:28,383 having breakfast with his Tiffanys. 297 00:12:28,458 --> 00:12:30,498 One of the reasons some people still risk 298 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,923 the possible horror of a first date 299 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,880 is the possible magic of the goodnight kiss at the front door. 300 00:12:37,208 --> 00:12:39,038 You know, my dog, he's obsessed with you. 301 00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:42,205 He, uh, kept me up talking all night. 302 00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:43,751 "Her leg, man, her leg." 303 00:12:43,834 --> 00:12:45,714 -Aroo! 304 00:12:45,792 --> 00:12:49,172 I finally had to say, "Pete, let her go, man. 305 00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:51,500 -It's over!" 306 00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,168 I have a confession to make. 307 00:12:57,208 --> 00:12:58,208 Uh-oh. 308 00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:00,883 I'm not a designer. 309 00:13:01,583 --> 00:13:02,713 I'm a writer. 310 00:13:04,291 --> 00:13:06,331 What was that... fiction? 311 00:13:07,458 --> 00:13:09,328 I wanted the discount. 312 00:13:10,041 --> 00:13:12,171 It's shameful, but true. 313 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,705 But don't worry, I only lie about furniture... 314 00:13:15,917 --> 00:13:17,537 nothing else. 315 00:13:19,709 --> 00:13:20,879 Are you upset? 316 00:13:23,625 --> 00:13:24,825 You smoke? 317 00:13:26,166 --> 00:13:29,126 Oh... um... just a little. 318 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:31,078 The minute I heard the lie come out of my mouth, 319 00:13:31,166 --> 00:13:33,536 I realized just how much I kinda liked him. 320 00:13:33,625 --> 00:13:35,665 If it bothers you, I'll just... 321 00:13:39,125 --> 00:13:42,575 -Well... I had a great time. -Hmm. 322 00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:44,415 Hmm. 323 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,883 I can taste that cigarette. 324 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,920 Oh, I'm sorry, I have an Altoid. 325 00:14:00,083 --> 00:14:01,293 Carrie, I think you're just-- 326 00:14:01,375 --> 00:14:03,995 No, no, I totally, totally get it. 327 00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:07,583 I have a mint here, they're curiously strong. 328 00:14:07,667 --> 00:14:08,917 Look... 329 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,830 Here, can you just, uh, hold that for a second? 330 00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,417 -Sure. -Thanks, sorry. 331 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:14,080 I don't want to be a jerk, 332 00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:17,036 but I can't date a smoker. 333 00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:20,251 Oh. 334 00:14:21,166 --> 00:14:22,126 So... 335 00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:24,917 Really? 336 00:14:27,375 --> 00:14:28,825 It's a thing I have. 337 00:14:28,917 --> 00:14:31,707 I couldn't believe what my crush was saying... 338 00:14:31,792 --> 00:14:33,672 I was crushed. 339 00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:36,290 Later that night, I couldn't help but wonder... 340 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,915 When the hell did dating become so "dump-friendly"? 341 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,960 What happened to the time when a bad kiss or a cigarette 342 00:14:42,041 --> 00:14:43,171 or even a ridiculous dream 343 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:46,000 was just part of a person's portfolio? 344 00:14:46,083 --> 00:14:47,753 In today's volatile dating market 345 00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:50,464 is it wise to liquidate certain stocks at the very first sign 346 00:14:50,542 --> 00:14:52,962 that they might not perform as well as expected? 347 00:14:53,041 --> 00:14:56,171 Or are there certain things one should try and negotiate? 348 00:14:56,250 --> 00:15:00,290 In relationships, what are the "deal breakers"? 349 00:15:01,458 --> 00:15:03,378 I think it's really sexy 350 00:15:03,583 --> 00:15:06,043 when you lightly touch your lips to mine. 351 00:15:06,125 --> 00:15:08,705 Never one to trade a stock before it had matured, 352 00:15:08,792 --> 00:15:12,422 a determined and patient Charlotte decided to teach "Bad" 353 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:13,540 how to kiss good. 354 00:15:13,625 --> 00:15:14,575 You like that, huh? 355 00:15:14,667 --> 00:15:16,537 Mm-hmm. 356 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:20,881 And I like it when you slowly open your mouth 357 00:15:20,959 --> 00:15:25,379 and just sort of tickle my lips with the tip of your tongue. 358 00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:34,497 -You like that? -Mmm. 359 00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:36,133 Mmm. 360 00:15:36,208 --> 00:15:38,828 And with just a little gentle negotiating, 361 00:15:38,917 --> 00:15:41,827 Brad's "stock" suddenly began to rise. 362 00:15:49,667 --> 00:15:51,537 Okay, stop, stop it! 363 00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:53,456 You're sucking too hard! 364 00:15:53,542 --> 00:15:55,922 And for the record, my mouth is up here! 365 00:15:56,125 --> 00:15:57,285 Is there a problem? 366 00:15:57,583 --> 00:15:58,963 I can't do this! 367 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:02,326 Brad... you're a bad kisser. 368 00:16:02,417 --> 00:16:04,707 Come on... that's my thing. 369 00:16:07,959 --> 00:16:09,629 Where are you going? 370 00:16:09,709 --> 00:16:11,749 And downtown at Marty Mendleson's, 371 00:16:11,834 --> 00:16:13,384 some other people were experiencing 372 00:16:13,458 --> 00:16:15,538 a much more successful first kiss. 373 00:16:15,625 --> 00:16:17,325 Let's move into the bedroom. 374 00:16:29,709 --> 00:16:31,079 These are my dolls. 375 00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:33,535 I've been collecting them for years. 376 00:16:33,875 --> 00:16:35,205 I had no idea. 377 00:16:37,417 --> 00:16:38,377 This... 378 00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:41,881 is the "Queen of Siam." 379 00:16:42,792 --> 00:16:44,042 She's my favorite. 380 00:16:44,834 --> 00:16:46,464 Bisque China face. 381 00:16:46,750 --> 00:16:48,210 She's a real collector's item. 382 00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:50,001 Uh-huh. 383 00:16:50,542 --> 00:16:55,252 And this is "Mary, Queen of Scots." 384 00:16:58,208 --> 00:16:59,708 Are they all queens? 385 00:17:00,166 --> 00:17:02,246 No, just the ones from Madame Alexander's. 386 00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:06,380 Well, help me clear off the bed. 387 00:17:11,959 --> 00:17:12,999 No, no, no. 388 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,083 The southern belle sits on the table. 389 00:17:17,917 --> 00:17:20,077 Stanford wondered if he was enough of a queen 390 00:17:20,166 --> 00:17:22,706 to make love to a queen who collected queens. 391 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,129 And uptown at Fusion, 392 00:17:25,208 --> 00:17:27,788 Samantha was feeling a bit like a queen herself. 393 00:17:28,083 --> 00:17:30,463 Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight? 394 00:17:31,291 --> 00:17:32,671 Thank you. 395 00:17:34,291 --> 00:17:36,001 Hey, what's up, genius? 396 00:17:36,083 --> 00:17:40,833 Oh, genius' overtired ass is draggin' all over this fool restaurant. 397 00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:44,213 Oh, you know, Aunt Alice and her friends are leaving now 398 00:17:44,291 --> 00:17:46,131 in case you want to go pay your respects. 399 00:17:46,208 --> 00:17:48,078 Our favorite aunt... I'll introduce you. 400 00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:50,416 No, no, no, Aunt Alice is out the door already. 401 00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:53,460 You go, and I'll sit here and talk with Samantha. 402 00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:02,785 -So... -So. 403 00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:04,035 How was everything? 404 00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:05,125 Ah, perfection. 405 00:18:05,208 --> 00:18:06,998 Chivon is right, you are a genius. 406 00:18:07,083 --> 00:18:09,673 Oh, thank you, thank you. 407 00:18:09,750 --> 00:18:12,670 And now I have a non-food related question... 408 00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:14,420 What's going on between you and my brother? 409 00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:17,170 -What do you mean? -Well, you've been in here together like, 410 00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:18,540 two or three times. 411 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,036 Well, we're dating, why? 412 00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,375 So you're not just fucking? 413 00:18:24,417 --> 00:18:26,167 Well, not that it's any of your business, 414 00:18:26,250 --> 00:18:28,380 but no, we're not just fucking. 415 00:18:28,625 --> 00:18:30,785 We actually really like each other. 416 00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:32,745 No. 417 00:18:32,959 --> 00:18:34,749 I don't want you seeing my brother. 418 00:18:34,834 --> 00:18:35,754 Excuse me? 419 00:18:35,834 --> 00:18:36,884 I don't approve. 420 00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:38,997 But you don't even know me-- 421 00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:40,543 Let's not get all personal here. 422 00:18:40,625 --> 00:18:44,575 I'm sure you're a very nice person, but... you're white. 423 00:18:44,667 --> 00:18:47,497 And I have a problem with my only brother 424 00:18:47,583 --> 00:18:48,833 getting serious with a white woman. 425 00:18:48,917 --> 00:18:50,247 Apparently to Adeena, 426 00:18:50,333 --> 00:18:52,583 Samantha's skin was a non-negotiable. 427 00:18:52,667 --> 00:18:54,127 How can you even say that to me? It's-- 428 00:18:54,208 --> 00:18:56,078 Listen, that's how I feel. 429 00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:57,496 I'm never going to approve 430 00:18:57,583 --> 00:19:00,463 and my approval means a lot to my brother. 431 00:19:00,542 --> 00:19:04,632 So why don't you just save us all a lot of time and trouble 432 00:19:04,709 --> 00:19:08,169 and get out now before anybody gets hurt? 433 00:19:11,375 --> 00:19:15,455 I'll send over some Mississippi mud pie. 434 00:19:15,542 --> 00:19:18,962 Samantha realized the only place Adeena was interested in fusion 435 00:19:19,041 --> 00:19:20,211 was on a plate. 436 00:19:21,291 --> 00:19:22,581 Talk about politically incorrect! 437 00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:24,627 She can't dis me just because I'm white. 438 00:19:24,709 --> 00:19:26,289 Please tell me you didn't say "dis." 439 00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:27,705 Maybe you should stop seeing him, Samantha. 440 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,752 Race is a very big issue. 441 00:19:29,834 --> 00:19:32,044 No, there is no reason to bring race into this. 442 00:19:32,125 --> 00:19:35,165 Chivon is a sweet man, we have great sex 443 00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:37,080 and he happens to have the biggest-- 444 00:19:37,166 --> 00:19:39,916 Black cock! We know, he has a big black cock! 445 00:19:40,375 --> 00:19:42,415 I was about to say, biggest heart. 446 00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:44,250 But now that you're so interested, yes... 447 00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:46,003 he does have a big black cock. 448 00:19:46,083 --> 00:19:48,833 It's big "African-American" cock. Right, Charlotte? 449 00:19:48,917 --> 00:19:51,037 Don't make fun of me, my chin hurts. 450 00:19:51,125 --> 00:19:52,455 Yeah, what exactly happened there? 451 00:19:52,542 --> 00:19:54,752 He raped my face. I'm never seeing him again. 452 00:19:54,834 --> 00:19:58,174 To Charlotte York, a black and blue chin was a deal breaker. 453 00:19:58,250 --> 00:20:00,210 Well, I am not about to back down to her. 454 00:20:00,291 --> 00:20:01,671 That is just not who I am. 455 00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:03,040 Yeah, Samantha's right. 456 00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:04,495 She shouldn't have to sacrifice who she is, 457 00:20:04,583 --> 00:20:06,673 just because somebody else has a problem with it. 458 00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:08,330 -Thank you. It's like me with smoking. 459 00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:11,207 You know, it's too bad that Aidan had a problem with it, 460 00:20:11,291 --> 00:20:13,131 but you have to accept people for who they are. 461 00:20:13,208 --> 00:20:15,998 Wait, you're choosing cigarettes over a cute guy? 462 00:20:16,083 --> 00:20:17,173 He's not that cute. 463 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:18,880 You bought furniture, he was so cute. 464 00:20:18,959 --> 00:20:20,579 Okay, but for him to dump me like that 465 00:20:20,667 --> 00:20:22,627 over a little thing like smoking. 466 00:20:22,709 --> 00:20:24,209 Smoking is not a little thing. 467 00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:27,131 It's a dirty, disgusting habit and you're killing yourself. 468 00:20:27,208 --> 00:20:29,628 -Thank you, chin. Really, Carrie, we all hate it. 469 00:20:29,709 --> 00:20:31,919 We just put up with it because we love you. 470 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,460 Now you have a reason to quit, so, quit. 471 00:20:33,542 --> 00:20:35,672 You know, I really don't appreciate being ganged up on. 472 00:20:35,750 --> 00:20:36,880 Who's ganging up on you? 473 00:20:36,959 --> 00:20:38,379 Smoking is a part of who I am. 474 00:20:38,458 --> 00:20:39,748 I will quit when I want to quit 475 00:20:39,834 --> 00:20:43,294 and it won't be because some cute guy told me to. 476 00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:44,382 Right, Samantha? 477 00:20:44,458 --> 00:20:45,668 No, honey. 478 00:20:45,750 --> 00:20:47,920 Fighting a battle for Chivon is one thing, 479 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,380 but holding onto those nasty cigarettes, well... 480 00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:51,578 that's just wack. 481 00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:53,917 Please tell me she didn't just say "wack." 482 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,330 It's all total bullshit. 483 00:20:56,417 --> 00:20:58,627 What is wrong with cigarettes? 484 00:20:58,709 --> 00:21:00,329 Nothing... they're fabulous. 485 00:21:01,250 --> 00:21:04,460 It's not like you have a hideous doll collection or something. 486 00:21:04,542 --> 00:21:05,922 Do you think that's an overreaction 487 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,920 to a repressed childhood or something? 488 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,380 Who cares? It's fucking freaky. 489 00:21:10,709 --> 00:21:14,169 I was willing to overlook his receding hair, 490 00:21:14,917 --> 00:21:16,287 but the dollies? 491 00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:17,382 No. 492 00:21:17,458 --> 00:21:19,458 So it's, "Goodbye, Dolly"? 493 00:21:22,083 --> 00:21:23,753 It's too bad, I kinda liked him. 494 00:21:23,834 --> 00:21:26,464 Well, Stanny, if I may call you that, 495 00:21:26,917 --> 00:21:28,997 maybe you should reconsider. 496 00:21:29,834 --> 00:21:33,384 When was the last time someone you had a crush on asked you out? 497 00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:35,883 You're no one to talk, Miss Marlboro Lights. 498 00:21:36,291 --> 00:21:38,331 Yeah, you're right, I am no one to talk. 499 00:21:40,542 --> 00:21:42,882 Maybe I could quit, you know, just a little, 500 00:21:43,041 --> 00:21:44,501 till I see what's up. 501 00:21:45,333 --> 00:21:46,383 Et tu? 502 00:21:47,625 --> 00:21:48,535 Fine. 503 00:21:48,917 --> 00:21:50,917 But I just can't see myself getting all excited 504 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:54,000 because my boyfriend's three-foot "Lady Di" doll 505 00:21:54,083 --> 00:21:56,043 is arriving from QVC. 506 00:21:58,750 --> 00:21:59,960 Okay, books away, let's go. 507 00:22:00,041 --> 00:22:01,791 -What? -Time to go shoot hoops. 508 00:22:01,875 --> 00:22:04,955 Oh, right, I can't, I got behind on this file. 509 00:22:05,041 --> 00:22:07,381 Ah, no, you don't, let's go, come on, you promised. 510 00:22:07,458 --> 00:22:08,628 They messengered this over late. 511 00:22:08,709 --> 00:22:10,079 It has to be ready first thing Monday. 512 00:22:10,166 --> 00:22:12,206 I don't have time to go watch you shoot hoops. 513 00:22:12,291 --> 00:22:16,171 I ask you to do one thing, one time for me and you can't do it. 514 00:22:16,250 --> 00:22:17,500 What the fuck is that? 515 00:22:17,583 --> 00:22:19,383 What the fuck is with the attitude? 516 00:22:19,458 --> 00:22:21,418 You know how many "law" things I've been to? 517 00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:23,080 How many times I do what you want? 518 00:22:23,709 --> 00:22:24,749 Why are you getting so upset? 519 00:22:24,834 --> 00:22:26,334 It's just a stupid half-court shot. 520 00:22:26,417 --> 00:22:28,417 Not to me, it's not! 521 00:22:31,583 --> 00:22:33,753 Why do you always have to be so pessimistic? 522 00:22:33,834 --> 00:22:35,334 "You can't make that shot." 523 00:22:35,417 --> 00:22:37,207 Steve, come on! 524 00:22:37,291 --> 00:22:39,461 It's not just the shot, it's everything! 525 00:22:39,542 --> 00:22:41,882 "We can't move in together... This isn't gonna work." 526 00:22:41,959 --> 00:22:45,249 If this is ever gonna work, I need you to believe in us a little more. 527 00:22:46,125 --> 00:22:47,325 I need you to believe in me 528 00:22:47,417 --> 00:22:49,707 even if you think it is fuckin' stupid. 529 00:23:02,417 --> 00:23:04,037 All right, hot shot! 530 00:23:04,333 --> 00:23:05,963 Show me what you got! 531 00:23:10,041 --> 00:23:12,001 Woo-hoo! 532 00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:15,292 Nice legs, very nice! 533 00:23:17,125 --> 00:23:19,415 Okay, this is for the big money! 534 00:23:19,500 --> 00:23:21,130 Okay! 535 00:23:29,917 --> 00:23:32,957 Steve never did win the big money at Madison Square G arden. 536 00:23:33,041 --> 00:23:35,211 But having Miranda show up for him that day, 537 00:23:35,291 --> 00:23:36,791 made him feel like a million bucks. 538 00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:39,325 You were robbed! Robbed! 539 00:23:39,834 --> 00:23:41,084 Do over! 540 00:23:41,166 --> 00:23:43,036 Okay, score! 541 00:23:44,041 --> 00:23:46,171 Whoops. Excuse me. Sorry. 542 00:23:50,709 --> 00:23:53,669 -Don't get any ideas, mister. -Hey, Pete, let's go. 543 00:23:56,125 --> 00:23:58,665 Aw, this really isn't fair. 544 00:23:58,750 --> 00:24:01,130 You know, he was just starting to get over you. 545 00:24:01,959 --> 00:24:02,829 Look... 546 00:24:03,166 --> 00:24:04,746 since you negotiated such a good price 547 00:24:04,834 --> 00:24:06,044 for me on the chair, 548 00:24:06,250 --> 00:24:09,250 maybe I could negotiate a little deal for you 549 00:24:09,333 --> 00:24:10,633 on the smoking. 550 00:24:12,166 --> 00:24:13,456 What kind of deal? 551 00:24:13,542 --> 00:24:16,712 Well, I've been thinking about quitting anyway, so... 552 00:24:16,792 --> 00:24:18,172 Why not now? 553 00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:20,714 Ta-da. 554 00:24:20,792 --> 00:24:22,332 No cigarettes. 555 00:24:23,458 --> 00:24:24,708 Can you do that? 556 00:24:24,792 --> 00:24:26,132 See, I think maybe you think 557 00:24:26,208 --> 00:24:27,878 I'm more of a smoker than I actually am. 558 00:24:27,959 --> 00:24:31,209 I only have, like, a cigarette with cocktails. 559 00:24:33,750 --> 00:24:36,460 I'm just about done here, you want to get some coffee? 560 00:24:36,542 --> 00:24:38,542 The second I heard him say coffee, 561 00:24:38,625 --> 00:24:40,575 I knew I kinda wanted a cigarette. 562 00:24:41,083 --> 00:24:42,883 I'd love it. 563 00:24:42,959 --> 00:24:44,919 It was one of those great early dates 564 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,630 where you have so much to say that... 565 00:24:46,709 --> 00:24:47,959 coffee turns into a movie, 566 00:24:48,041 --> 00:24:49,961 a movie turns into a long walk, 567 00:24:50,041 --> 00:24:51,921 and a long walk turns into the beginning 568 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:53,460 of "cold turkey" rehab. 569 00:24:53,542 --> 00:24:55,542 You want to get a bite to eat? Some dinner? 570 00:24:57,208 --> 00:24:59,748 I was completely ready to trade in my crush... 571 00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:03,125 Hi. 572 00:25:03,208 --> 00:25:04,538 When it dawned on me just how much 573 00:25:04,625 --> 00:25:07,245 I was willing to give up for a cigarette. 574 00:25:07,333 --> 00:25:08,883 Well, maybe a quick bite. 575 00:25:26,709 --> 00:25:30,039 Her name is Sheba, she's French. 576 00:25:30,125 --> 00:25:32,495 Meanwhile, back in the "Valley of the Dolls," 577 00:25:32,583 --> 00:25:35,333 Stanford decided that there was something even more rare 578 00:25:35,417 --> 00:25:37,497 than a porcelain French face... 579 00:25:37,583 --> 00:25:38,883 his passion. 580 00:25:42,083 --> 00:25:43,753 No, wait, the dolls! 581 00:25:45,792 --> 00:25:48,332 Yes, oh, yes! 582 00:25:49,792 --> 00:25:51,712 Oh, yes! 583 00:26:03,875 --> 00:26:05,285 To Marty Mendleson, 584 00:26:05,375 --> 00:26:07,665 a broken face was a deal breaker. 585 00:26:14,208 --> 00:26:14,918 Adeena! 586 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,420 And uptown, 587 00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:18,040 Samantha was about to come face-to-face 588 00:26:18,125 --> 00:26:19,245 with her own deal breaker. 589 00:26:19,333 --> 00:26:20,503 Hey, what's up? 590 00:26:20,583 --> 00:26:22,383 You tell me, I just got here. 591 00:26:22,458 --> 00:26:24,128 You remember Samantha. 592 00:26:25,166 --> 00:26:28,416 So, what's my favorite girl drinking? 593 00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:29,830 -Margarita. -Champagne. 594 00:26:31,542 --> 00:26:32,542 Coming right up. 595 00:26:35,291 --> 00:26:36,541 What are you doing here? 596 00:26:36,625 --> 00:26:38,535 I told you, I don't want you dating my brother. 597 00:26:38,625 --> 00:26:40,245 Adeena, I'm a lovely person. 598 00:26:40,333 --> 00:26:42,333 At least get to know me, then hate me. 599 00:26:42,417 --> 00:26:43,537 This is not a game, 600 00:26:43,625 --> 00:26:45,285 this is my brother we're talking about. 601 00:26:45,375 --> 00:26:48,325 You know, for a woman with such a progressive view of world food-- 602 00:26:48,417 --> 00:26:50,287 That's business, this is family. 603 00:26:50,375 --> 00:26:51,915 I don't understand, what-- 604 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,420 I'll say it to you plain. 605 00:26:53,625 --> 00:26:57,035 I don't care how many Jennifer Lopez-lookin' dresses 606 00:26:57,125 --> 00:26:59,165 you have hanging up in your closet, 607 00:26:59,333 --> 00:27:01,003 you don't belong in here. 608 00:27:01,333 --> 00:27:03,423 You can never understand what I'm talkin' about. 609 00:27:03,500 --> 00:27:05,040 This is a black thing. 610 00:27:05,250 --> 00:27:08,830 Now, would you please go and leave my brother alone! 611 00:27:10,709 --> 00:27:12,249 As Samantha turned to leave, 612 00:27:12,333 --> 00:27:15,383 she suddenly realized this wasn't a "black" thing, 613 00:27:15,458 --> 00:27:17,498 it was a "Samantha" thing. 614 00:27:17,583 --> 00:27:19,633 She'd never backed down to a loud-mouth bitch before 615 00:27:19,709 --> 00:27:21,129 and she wasn't about to start now. 616 00:27:21,208 --> 00:27:22,288 Excuse me, 617 00:27:22,375 --> 00:27:23,825 but no woman, no matter what color, 618 00:27:23,917 --> 00:27:26,667 has the right to tell me who I can or cannot fuck! 619 00:27:26,750 --> 00:27:29,790 Get your little white pussy away from my brother! 620 00:27:29,875 --> 00:27:32,075 Get your big black ass out of my face! 621 00:27:32,625 --> 00:27:35,535 And your okra wasn't all that! 622 00:27:40,542 --> 00:27:41,792 Get off, bitch! 623 00:27:41,875 --> 00:27:43,495 All right, all right, everybody be cool! 624 00:27:43,583 --> 00:27:46,003 All right, all right, let's keep it real! 625 00:27:46,083 --> 00:27:50,043 -Keep it real! -I'm trying to keep it real! 626 00:27:54,542 --> 00:27:58,042 Seven hours into the world's longest date all I could think was... 627 00:27:58,125 --> 00:27:59,825 five more minutes and I can dump this bozo 628 00:27:59,917 --> 00:28:02,167 and smoke the emergency cigarette hidden in my purse. 629 00:28:02,250 --> 00:28:03,960 Would you like to see a dessert menu? 630 00:28:04,417 --> 00:28:05,957 I'll take a look. 631 00:28:06,792 --> 00:28:08,712 Oh, my God! I forgot, I have that deadline! 632 00:28:08,792 --> 00:28:09,672 I have to go. 633 00:28:09,750 --> 00:28:11,130 Oh, wait, I'll walk with you. 634 00:28:11,208 --> 00:28:14,458 No! I mean, stay, enjoy your dessert, I'm fine. 635 00:28:28,792 --> 00:28:29,962 Oh! 636 00:28:30,250 --> 00:28:31,330 No! 637 00:28:32,125 --> 00:28:33,325 Oh! 638 00:28:52,291 --> 00:28:53,461 Carrie? 639 00:28:56,208 --> 00:28:57,788 We've got a little problem. 640 00:29:03,250 --> 00:29:04,460 What can I say? 641 00:29:05,083 --> 00:29:07,293 Adeena has always been there for me. 642 00:29:07,792 --> 00:29:11,632 I mean, ever since Mom died, it's only been the two of us. 643 00:29:13,667 --> 00:29:15,537 Adeena has her issues, 644 00:29:16,291 --> 00:29:19,001 but then you had to go and insult her food, so... 645 00:29:20,458 --> 00:29:22,208 You mean the world to me. 646 00:29:24,333 --> 00:29:27,543 But Adeena... she's my blood. 647 00:29:35,458 --> 00:29:39,078 Samantha knew the real problem wasn't her "little white pussy." 648 00:29:39,166 --> 00:29:41,706 It was the fact that Chivon was a big black pussy 649 00:29:41,792 --> 00:29:43,792 who wouldn't stand up to his sister. 650 00:29:46,667 --> 00:29:50,537 And for Samantha Jones, that was the deal breaker. 651 00:29:52,166 --> 00:29:53,626 It was too bad we had to end, 652 00:29:53,709 --> 00:29:56,169 but that's the way it goes, I guess. 653 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,130 We had some good times together 654 00:29:59,208 --> 00:30:01,958 and I'm pretty sure we could have had more. 655 00:30:02,041 --> 00:30:04,041 But it's over. 656 00:30:10,709 --> 00:30:14,039 In the end, I really did it for me... 657 00:30:14,125 --> 00:30:15,415 I just hope he's worth it.