1 00:00:56,625 --> 00:00:57,825 Every morning, 2 00:00:57,917 --> 00:01:00,457 millions of New Yorkers leave their crowded apartments 3 00:01:00,542 --> 00:01:02,462 and head out to the even more crowded streets 4 00:01:02,542 --> 00:01:03,792 on their way to work. 5 00:01:03,875 --> 00:01:05,875 Today, I was one of them. 6 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:08,329 Sometimes a girl just needs a new start. 7 00:01:08,417 --> 00:01:10,327 I had a new do, a new mortgage, 8 00:01:10,417 --> 00:01:12,247 and therefore, a new job. 9 00:01:14,834 --> 00:01:17,044 I had just submitted my first freelance article 10 00:01:17,125 --> 00:01:20,205 for one of the most relevant and provocative magazines 11 00:01:20,291 --> 00:01:24,961 on the newsstands today, at least to me... Vogue, 12 00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:28,751 also known as Mecca, where I belonged. 13 00:01:28,834 --> 00:01:29,964 This isn't Vogue. 14 00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:33,253 Oh, you didn't like it? 15 00:01:33,333 --> 00:01:34,883 No, no one is saying that. 16 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:35,919 Well, I am, I'll say it. 17 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,080 I didn't like it, there, I said it. 18 00:01:37,166 --> 00:01:39,706 No, what Enid is trying to say, Carrie, 19 00:01:39,792 --> 00:01:41,672 is that you wrote a wonderful first draft-- 20 00:01:41,750 --> 00:01:43,580 -It isn't Vogue. - [Carrie] There it was, 21 00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:45,877 the article I'd put my heart and soul into. 22 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:47,329 And it was bleeding. 23 00:01:47,417 --> 00:01:49,577 Your spin on the idea, Carrie, is very clever. 24 00:01:49,667 --> 00:01:51,957 Different types of men as the new accessories for fall. 25 00:01:52,041 --> 00:01:54,831 A, uh, Prada-- 26 00:01:54,917 --> 00:01:57,707 A Prada dress should always be worn 27 00:01:57,792 --> 00:01:58,792 with an investment banker. 28 00:01:58,875 --> 00:01:59,995 I mean, that's wonderful. 29 00:02:00,083 --> 00:02:03,133 Julian, the assignment was 500 words on accessories, 30 00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:04,378 not men. 31 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,998 And I'm not convinced she knows anything about purses, 32 00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,583 or for that matter, men. 33 00:02:08,667 --> 00:02:10,327 Enid, for the love of God. 34 00:02:10,417 --> 00:02:11,957 Ms. Bradshaw, what you've handed us here 35 00:02:12,041 --> 00:02:14,831 is essentially just your newspaper column 36 00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:18,037 with the word "style" jammed in where the word "sex" used to be. 37 00:02:18,125 --> 00:02:20,785 We're not looking for Vogue according to your agenda. 38 00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:22,375 No one cares about your agenda. 39 00:02:22,458 --> 00:02:24,038 -That's not true. -Oh, forgive me, 40 00:02:24,125 --> 00:02:26,075 I don't care about your agenda. 41 00:02:26,166 --> 00:02:27,536 I care about designers, 42 00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:30,575 Oscar de la Renta, Chanel, Dior. 43 00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:33,457 I want less Carrie Bradshaw, 44 00:02:33,542 --> 00:02:36,002 and more "carry" this bag with these shoes, 45 00:02:36,083 --> 00:02:37,133 do you see what I mean? 46 00:02:37,208 --> 00:02:38,998 You're a writer, you should be writing this down. 47 00:02:39,083 --> 00:02:41,963 I was trying to find a way to introduce the bags 48 00:02:42,041 --> 00:02:44,171 and the bracelets with a little humor. 49 00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:46,750 Kind of "men are the new black." 50 00:02:49,291 --> 00:02:50,751 It was supposed to be funny. 51 00:02:50,834 --> 00:02:52,214 It was supposed to be bags. 52 00:02:53,208 --> 00:02:56,458 Well, I didn't really... 53 00:02:56,542 --> 00:02:58,962 bring a writing... 54 00:03:00,291 --> 00:03:02,831 Okay, bags. 55 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,417 An hour later, 56 00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:06,380 -Enid had to leave for a lunch date... 57 00:03:06,458 --> 00:03:09,038 ...presumably to devour another writer. 58 00:03:09,125 --> 00:03:10,825 Don't let Enid get to you. 59 00:03:10,917 --> 00:03:12,167 She just came back from Paris 60 00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,790 and apparently humor and irony are "out" this season. 61 00:03:14,875 --> 00:03:18,245 -♪ My days can't... ♪ 62 00:03:18,333 --> 00:03:20,633 Billie Holiday... 63 00:03:20,709 --> 00:03:21,709 The only woman I could think of 64 00:03:21,792 --> 00:03:23,582 in more pain than you right now. 65 00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:28,037 -Come on, cookie, chin up. 66 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,075 In publishing, you need two things, 67 00:03:30,667 --> 00:03:32,287 a tough hide... 68 00:03:33,375 --> 00:03:35,375 and a dry martini. 69 00:03:35,458 --> 00:03:36,708 Martinis in the morning? 70 00:03:36,792 --> 00:03:38,422 Is this allowed? 71 00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:39,460 Is it Vogue? 72 00:03:39,542 --> 00:03:41,882 Only in absolute emergencies. 73 00:03:41,959 --> 00:03:43,959 Last time I broke this out was when I heard 74 00:03:44,041 --> 00:03:46,791 that "fun fur" was making a comeback. 75 00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:53,501 Oh, look at this mess... 76 00:03:54,417 --> 00:03:56,077 Why was I even hired? 77 00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:59,036 Well, I'm afraid you have me to blame for that. 78 00:03:59,125 --> 00:04:02,575 My daughter introduced me to your column about a year ago. 79 00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:04,417 I thought you'd be a natural at Vogue. 80 00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,420 Well, I guess you thought wrong. 81 00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,040 I haven't been wrong yet. 82 00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:09,915 Vogue is all about vision, and you, cookie, 83 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,540 have got vision. 84 00:04:11,625 --> 00:04:13,245 We just have to find a way to hide your vision 85 00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:14,963 from Enid's vision. 86 00:04:15,041 --> 00:04:17,921 A little less you, a little more purse. 87 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,960 C'mon... 88 00:04:21,583 --> 00:04:22,963 Drink. 89 00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:25,329 Cheers. 90 00:04:27,375 --> 00:04:29,205 One and a half martinis later... 91 00:04:29,291 --> 00:04:31,001 And the sad thing is... 92 00:04:31,709 --> 00:04:33,329 This is what I do best. 93 00:04:33,417 --> 00:04:34,957 -I mean, look at it! -Cookie, 94 00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:35,921 you're drunk. 95 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:39,670 Yeah, cookie's drunk. 96 00:04:40,417 --> 00:04:42,207 I'm drunk at Vogue. 97 00:04:42,291 --> 00:04:45,541 How can anyone get so drunk on one and a half martinis? 98 00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:47,665 I didn't eat breakfast and I'm a size two. 99 00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:49,880 Which should make me perfect for Vogue, 100 00:04:49,959 --> 00:04:51,039 but nope. 101 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:54,535 I'm drunk and a failure at Vogue. 102 00:04:54,625 --> 00:04:55,495 I feel awful, 103 00:04:55,583 --> 00:04:56,793 this is my fault. 104 00:04:56,875 --> 00:04:58,415 Aw, Julian... 105 00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:00,920 I came in here today so cocky, 106 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,630 I thought I knew it all. 107 00:05:02,709 --> 00:05:07,209 I had my man jokes and my purse puns... 108 00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:10,921 And you heard her, what do I know about purses? 109 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,130 Nothing! 110 00:05:12,208 --> 00:05:14,038 What do I know about men? 111 00:05:15,166 --> 00:05:16,456 Oops. 112 00:05:18,875 --> 00:05:20,915 I spilled. 113 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,290 I spilled at Vogue. 114 00:05:22,375 --> 00:05:24,455 Okay, okay, 115 00:05:24,542 --> 00:05:27,962 maybe we better just take you home. 116 00:05:28,041 --> 00:05:29,791 I can't go out there. 117 00:05:29,875 --> 00:05:31,915 I'm drunk... 118 00:05:32,709 --> 00:05:34,879 I'm drunk at Vogue. 119 00:05:37,417 --> 00:05:38,747 Oh. 120 00:05:42,458 --> 00:05:44,628 Right. Left. 121 00:05:44,709 --> 00:05:46,079 Now look at me... 122 00:05:46,166 --> 00:05:48,996 Pretend I'm saying something fantastic about corsets. 123 00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:51,003 -Excuse me. 124 00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:53,043 Please tell me that wasn't Anna Wintour. 125 00:05:53,125 --> 00:05:54,535 It wasn't, now just... 126 00:05:54,625 --> 00:05:55,825 Left... 127 00:05:55,917 --> 00:05:57,707 Right, left. 128 00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:00,543 Left. 129 00:06:01,417 --> 00:06:03,247 Left. Oh... 130 00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:05,423 I'm so sorry. 131 00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:08,920 That night, at a more appropriate cocktail hour... 132 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,170 Oh, c'mon, there must be something you want for your birthday. 133 00:06:12,250 --> 00:06:15,500 What I want for my birthday is not to celebrate it this year. 134 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,543 Well, what if I want to celebrate it? 135 00:06:17,625 --> 00:06:18,915 Then that would be celebration enough. 136 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,880 Besides, I have everything I need. 137 00:06:20,959 --> 00:06:22,749 It's not about needing something. 138 00:06:22,834 --> 00:06:25,134 It's about wanting something just for fun. 139 00:06:25,208 --> 00:06:28,378 Something decadent, something naughty even. 140 00:06:28,458 --> 00:06:30,038 May I tempt you with dessert? 141 00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:31,875 How is everything this evening, Mr. Wright? 142 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:32,919 Delicious, thank you. 143 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,250 Alexa. 144 00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:37,083 I took the liberty of pre-ordering our chocolate souffle 145 00:06:37,166 --> 00:06:38,126 for you and Ms. Jones, 146 00:06:38,208 --> 00:06:39,788 if you're in the mood for something sweet. 147 00:06:39,875 --> 00:06:42,625 Always, thank you for keeping an eye on us. 148 00:06:42,709 --> 00:06:43,879 I couldn't help it. 149 00:06:43,959 --> 00:06:45,709 You're the most attractive couple in the restaurant. 150 00:06:52,166 --> 00:06:54,126 I know what I'd like for my birthday. 151 00:06:54,208 --> 00:06:57,458 An all-night, non-stop championship fuckfest with you. 152 00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,422 Then consider your candles blown. 153 00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,670 And Alexa. 154 00:07:02,750 --> 00:07:04,580 You asked. 155 00:07:04,667 --> 00:07:06,247 Is a three-way with a 21-year-old 156 00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:08,253 a bad idea for Richard's birthday? 157 00:07:08,333 --> 00:07:09,883 What are you gonna get him next year, a four-way? 158 00:07:09,959 --> 00:07:11,039 Look, he doesn't want to be monogamous. 159 00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:12,705 So, either cheat with me or without me. 160 00:07:12,792 --> 00:07:14,382 Well, happy birthday to you. 161 00:07:14,458 --> 00:07:15,918 It's not like he asked me to get him a hooker. 162 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,290 These are the options! 163 00:07:17,375 --> 00:07:18,415 It's someone we know, 164 00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:20,750 and at least this way I'm part of the fantasy. 165 00:07:20,834 --> 00:07:23,134 Yeah, the fantasy being that he's attracted 166 00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:25,038 to someone young enough to be his daughter. 167 00:07:25,125 --> 00:07:26,575 He is, Charlotte! That's the problem. 168 00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:28,577 Richard's in his fucking prime. 169 00:07:28,667 --> 00:07:30,287 Men get better looking as they get older 170 00:07:30,375 --> 00:07:31,205 and women get-- 171 00:07:31,291 --> 00:07:32,331 Three-ways apparently. 172 00:07:32,417 --> 00:07:36,877 Or a Marc Jacobs ultra-mod little notebook, huh? 173 00:07:36,959 --> 00:07:40,749 Evidently, I'm recommending it to Vogue shoppers. 174 00:07:40,834 --> 00:07:42,714 Just be careful, Samantha. 175 00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:45,462 When a man has a fantasy and you fulfill it, 176 00:07:45,542 --> 00:07:47,962 there's always the chance that the relationship could blow up 177 00:07:48,041 --> 00:07:49,251 and then you're just the idiot 178 00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:51,963 who did it with him on the golf course, or something. 179 00:07:52,041 --> 00:07:52,791 Was it you and Trey? 180 00:07:52,875 --> 00:07:55,035 No, no, it's a "for instance." 181 00:07:55,125 --> 00:07:56,285 Sorry I'm late, 182 00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:58,535 I was shopping for a stroller. 183 00:07:58,625 --> 00:07:59,785 I shouldn't even be here. 184 00:07:59,875 --> 00:08:01,825 I should be out doing all the things I'm supposed to do 185 00:08:01,917 --> 00:08:02,917 before the baby comes, 186 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,210 and I'm unable to leave my apartment ever again. 187 00:08:05,291 --> 00:08:07,381 Like what, Ju Jitsu and off-track betting? 188 00:08:07,458 --> 00:08:08,958 Like buying a crib. 189 00:08:09,041 --> 00:08:11,041 -Oh. -Evidently, I'm to go to Crib World, 190 00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:12,785 because it's a whole world of cribs. 191 00:08:12,875 --> 00:08:14,785 I guess Crib City wasn't big enough. 192 00:08:14,875 --> 00:08:17,535 Why isn't there a store called "This Is The Crib For You"? 193 00:08:17,625 --> 00:08:19,035 And they just have one great crib, 194 00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:20,495 and they deliver it, and assemble it, 195 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:21,793 and help you raise your child. 196 00:08:21,875 --> 00:08:22,995 You don't have a crib yet? 197 00:08:23,083 --> 00:08:25,423 No, Charlotte, I have a job instead. 198 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,960 I'm sorry, but when am I supposed to find time 199 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,171 to prepare for this baby? 200 00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:31,710 I don't have a vague idea how I'm gonna do any of this. 201 00:08:31,792 --> 00:08:33,882 Well, I don't have a Vogue idea, so, hello. 202 00:08:33,959 --> 00:08:35,329 Why don't you let ol' one ball help you? 203 00:08:35,417 --> 00:08:36,707 Yeah, I tried that, 204 00:08:36,792 --> 00:08:39,632 and he starts acting all father-figure, and I get territorial, 205 00:08:39,709 --> 00:08:42,289 and the salespeople get confused, and trust me, 206 00:08:42,375 --> 00:08:43,995 it's too complicated for Crib World. 207 00:08:44,083 --> 00:08:47,043 Let me help you. I mean, I know you said you didn't want a baby shower, 208 00:08:47,125 --> 00:08:48,665 but it's not too late to change your mind. 209 00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:50,210 -I hate baby showers. Ugh... 210 00:08:50,291 --> 00:08:51,041 Who doesn't? 211 00:08:51,125 --> 00:08:52,575 The games, the finger sandwiches, 212 00:08:52,667 --> 00:08:54,497 all that enforced "ooh-ing" and "ah-ing." 213 00:08:54,583 --> 00:08:56,713 I don't "ooh" and "ah," I don't care who's having a baby. 214 00:08:56,792 --> 00:08:58,002 But think of the gifts. 215 00:08:58,083 --> 00:09:00,333 It would be a great way to get all the stuff you need. 216 00:09:00,417 --> 00:09:01,537 Without having to go to Crib World. 217 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:03,285 But who would I invite besides you guys? 218 00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:05,325 All the bitches that made you go to theirs. 219 00:09:05,417 --> 00:09:06,707 -Hm. -Well, it's your shower. 220 00:09:06,792 --> 00:09:09,752 And you can invite or not invite whoever you choose. 221 00:09:09,834 --> 00:09:11,714 Would you really want to throw me a baby shower 222 00:09:11,792 --> 00:09:14,542 after all you've been through this year? 223 00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:17,955 Yeah, I think it would be good for me. 224 00:09:19,542 --> 00:09:23,212 Okay, but no cutesy-storky shit. 225 00:09:23,291 --> 00:09:24,211 Just an adult, 226 00:09:24,291 --> 00:09:25,711 dignified lunch with presents. 227 00:09:25,792 --> 00:09:27,962 Which I will open after everyone leaves. 228 00:09:28,041 --> 00:09:29,541 You have to open the presents. 229 00:09:29,625 --> 00:09:33,415 No opening of presents, no games, no crustless bread. 230 00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:35,000 And I want fried chicken. 231 00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:37,543 Fried chicken? But it's not Super Bowl Sunday. 232 00:09:37,625 --> 00:09:40,535 It's my shower and I'll fry if I want to. 233 00:09:40,625 --> 00:09:42,245 -What should we do for our gift? 234 00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:45,923 Let's just stick to the registry, three-way. 235 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,790 The next day, Charlotte decided 236 00:09:47,875 --> 00:09:50,075 if she was going to host a baby shower, 237 00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:51,576 she should hide the evidence 238 00:09:51,667 --> 00:09:54,287 that she had wanted one of her own. 239 00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:00,673 Later that week, 240 00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:03,750 I had a meal with the perfect dinner accessory... Julian. 241 00:10:03,834 --> 00:10:05,584 So, my wife is a former dancer. 242 00:10:05,667 --> 00:10:07,247 She was with the Martha Graham Company. 243 00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:08,963 And the first time I saw her on stage 244 00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:11,421 I fell in love with her. 245 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:13,250 She pliéd, and I plotzed. 246 00:10:16,458 --> 00:10:18,328 It'll be 24 years next September. 247 00:10:18,417 --> 00:10:20,127 So, you got married right out of grade school. 248 00:10:20,208 --> 00:10:24,578 I knew there was something about you that I liked. Mm. 249 00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,127 What about your life? 250 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,418 Is there a man in your life? Is it a great love? 251 00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:31,077 Um... 252 00:10:31,166 --> 00:10:33,876 Nah, I just broke up with somebody. 253 00:10:33,959 --> 00:10:40,039 And yes, it was a great love. 254 00:10:40,125 --> 00:10:43,205 But, he went there. 255 00:10:43,291 --> 00:10:44,461 I went there. 256 00:10:44,542 --> 00:10:45,582 And there you have it. 257 00:10:47,542 --> 00:10:51,212 So, Julian, the reason that I asked you to dinner tonight... 258 00:10:51,291 --> 00:10:52,711 Is because you knew I would pay? 259 00:10:52,792 --> 00:10:53,882 Besides that... 260 00:10:53,959 --> 00:10:57,169 Um, I wanted to tell you that I really appreciate 261 00:10:57,250 --> 00:10:58,920 your interest in my article, 262 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,790 but I've decided not to finish it. 263 00:11:01,875 --> 00:11:03,325 So, what are you gonna do, you're just gonna quit? 264 00:11:03,417 --> 00:11:05,877 No, no, no, I don't let my kids quit. 265 00:11:05,959 --> 00:11:07,129 Well, technically, I'm not one of your kids, 266 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,748 I'm just a girl you get drunk sometimes. 267 00:11:09,834 --> 00:11:11,674 Alright, forget about me... 268 00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:13,790 What would your father say about you quitting? 269 00:11:13,875 --> 00:11:16,205 Well, my father wouldn't have a whole lot to say about quitting. 270 00:11:16,291 --> 00:11:18,251 He quit my mother and me when I was little. 271 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:19,920 I'm sorry. 272 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,670 Oh, thanks, no, I mean, a long time ago, 273 00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:23,790 -I was five. -Why'd he leave? 274 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,750 No idea, never said. 275 00:11:27,834 --> 00:11:30,544 And that's the name of that tune. 276 00:11:30,625 --> 00:11:32,625 Hmm... 277 00:11:34,875 --> 00:11:38,375 -What? -No, no, it's interesting. 278 00:11:38,458 --> 00:11:39,998 Your father leaves without any answers, 279 00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:42,253 and you spend your life asking questions about men. 280 00:11:44,250 --> 00:11:47,540 Well, it's 20 years of analysis, forgive me? 281 00:11:47,625 --> 00:11:49,125 -Yes. -Okay, Vogue. 282 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:50,078 Vogue? 283 00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:51,206 What if I could fix it 284 00:11:51,291 --> 00:11:52,381 so that you only deal with me 285 00:11:52,458 --> 00:11:54,208 and Enid spends less time hating your writing 286 00:11:54,291 --> 00:11:56,251 and more time hating Tom Ford's line, hmm? 287 00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:58,333 Julian... 288 00:11:58,417 --> 00:12:00,667 Oh, come on, cookie, you're no quitter 289 00:12:00,750 --> 00:12:02,130 and we get to work on this together, 290 00:12:02,208 --> 00:12:03,878 what do ya say? 291 00:12:03,959 --> 00:12:05,629 Why are you being so sweet? 292 00:12:05,709 --> 00:12:07,289 Martini guilt. 293 00:12:08,834 --> 00:12:12,544 Later that night, I got to thinking about fathers, 294 00:12:12,625 --> 00:12:14,705 or the lack of them. Some say 295 00:12:14,792 --> 00:12:16,542 a daughter's relationship with her father 296 00:12:16,625 --> 00:12:20,075 is the model for all her subsequent relationships with men. 297 00:12:20,166 --> 00:12:21,496 Is that just "pop" psychology, 298 00:12:21,583 --> 00:12:23,833 or is there some truth to it? 299 00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:26,207 And if you were given a less than perfect model, 300 00:12:26,291 --> 00:12:29,211 does it mean a life of less than perfect relationships? 301 00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:31,081 I couldn't help but wonder... 302 00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:34,746 How much does a father-figure figure? 303 00:12:34,834 --> 00:12:37,084 Gentlemen, I understand your concern, 304 00:12:37,166 --> 00:12:39,246 but I'm looking at the contract right now-- 305 00:12:40,834 --> 00:12:43,544 I'm sorry, could you hold for a moment? 306 00:12:43,625 --> 00:12:45,455 I'm on a conference call here. 307 00:12:45,542 --> 00:12:48,332 Charlotte York says it's an emergency. 308 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:51,960 Charlotte, what's wrong, are you okay? 309 00:12:52,041 --> 00:12:54,251 I'm fine, I'm just looking over your registry 310 00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:55,963 and there are some things you forgot to include. 311 00:12:56,041 --> 00:12:57,171 Like a Manhattan Whozit. 312 00:12:57,250 --> 00:12:58,830 -A what? -It's a learning toy. 313 00:12:58,917 --> 00:13:00,577 Active toys make for passive children. 314 00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:02,127 There's a whole philosophy behind it. 315 00:13:02,208 --> 00:13:03,378 I don't have time for philosophy. 316 00:13:03,458 --> 00:13:05,708 I'm on a conference call with our London Office. 317 00:13:05,792 --> 00:13:07,502 What about a Peek-A-Ball? Peek-A-Ball! 318 00:13:07,583 --> 00:13:08,713 Peek-A-Ball, Miranda! 319 00:13:08,792 --> 00:13:10,332 Jesus, Charlotte, I have to get back. 320 00:13:10,417 --> 00:13:11,377 Just one more quick thing. 321 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:12,708 I know you said no storks, 322 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,962 but I saw the most gorgeous centerpiece in the shape of a-- 323 00:13:15,041 --> 00:13:15,921 I'm at work! 324 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,460 Well, we have to order it by noon. 325 00:13:17,542 --> 00:13:20,542 Now, its feathers are white Fiji mums... 326 00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:21,625 What did I say? 327 00:13:21,709 --> 00:13:23,039 No storks, but these people are giving you 328 00:13:23,125 --> 00:13:25,955 expensive gifts and they're gonna want to see a little baby. 329 00:13:26,041 --> 00:13:29,131 No storks, no present opening, no cutesy baby stuff. 330 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:30,128 We agreed! 331 00:13:30,208 --> 00:13:31,628 What about a marzipan baby carriage? 332 00:13:31,709 --> 00:13:34,879 -Charlotte! -It has a white chocolate peanut butter baby inside 333 00:13:34,959 --> 00:13:36,539 and you can eat the baby. 334 00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:41,627 Miranda? Miranda! 335 00:13:41,709 --> 00:13:42,789 The next day, 336 00:13:42,875 --> 00:13:46,535 Samantha made a conference call of her own. 337 00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:47,785 Ms. Jones, welcome. 338 00:13:47,875 --> 00:13:49,625 Will Mr. Wright be joining you for lunch? 339 00:13:49,709 --> 00:13:50,629 No, actually, 340 00:13:50,709 --> 00:13:52,959 it's Richard's birthday this weekend, 341 00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:56,331 and I'm trying to put together a little celebration for him. 342 00:13:56,417 --> 00:13:58,957 Certainly, would you like to reserve one of our banquet rooms or-- 343 00:13:59,041 --> 00:14:01,001 Oh, that won't be necessary. 344 00:14:01,083 --> 00:14:03,043 It's a very small party, 345 00:14:03,125 --> 00:14:04,165 a very small, 346 00:14:04,250 --> 00:14:06,500 private party... of three. 347 00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:08,213 Just Richard, 348 00:14:08,291 --> 00:14:10,251 myself, and a third... 349 00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,037 If you have any openings. 350 00:14:13,125 --> 00:14:15,205 I'm wide open. 351 00:14:15,291 --> 00:14:17,081 Lucky me. 352 00:14:17,166 --> 00:14:20,166 And now that Charlotte's house was ready for the baby shower, 353 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,420 she wanted to make sure Miranda's house 354 00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:23,500 was ready for the baby. 355 00:14:23,583 --> 00:14:26,833 So, the bassinet can go over here, by the bed. 356 00:14:26,917 --> 00:14:28,247 -Uh-huh. -So, when you have to 357 00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:29,503 get up for feedings, he's right there. See? 358 00:14:29,583 --> 00:14:30,633 -Yeah. -Unless you're 359 00:14:30,709 --> 00:14:32,749 planning to have him sleep in the bed with you. 360 00:14:32,834 --> 00:14:35,254 -Can't I go to jail for that? -No, 361 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,083 in fact, many cultures believe that it's safer 362 00:14:37,166 --> 00:14:38,956 for the baby's breathing. 363 00:14:39,041 --> 00:14:40,921 Although you do run the risk of rolling over 364 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,170 and smooshing him in your sleep. But that almost never happens. 365 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,250 But, almost isn't never, 366 00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:45,793 so, if you want to err on the side of safety-- 367 00:14:45,875 --> 00:14:48,375 Um, I'll just put him in the thing. 368 00:14:48,458 --> 00:14:49,708 -The bassinet. -Yeah. 369 00:14:49,792 --> 00:14:51,172 -Great! 370 00:14:51,250 --> 00:14:55,210 And then when he's big enough, you can put the crib here. 371 00:14:55,291 --> 00:14:56,541 Is that what you were thinking? 372 00:14:56,625 --> 00:14:58,535 Oh, I hadn't thought about that yet. 373 00:14:58,625 --> 00:14:59,495 Well, you need to start 374 00:14:59,583 --> 00:15:00,543 thinking about these things, 375 00:15:00,625 --> 00:15:02,325 'cause there are a million questions to answer 376 00:15:02,417 --> 00:15:04,037 before the baby ever gets here. 377 00:15:04,125 --> 00:15:05,285 Do you have a birthing plan? 378 00:15:05,375 --> 00:15:07,325 Do you know what kind of a mother you want to be? 379 00:15:07,417 --> 00:15:10,497 Yes, I plan to be a... good mother! 380 00:15:10,583 --> 00:15:13,423 But a marsupial mom or a stroller mom? 381 00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,880 Will you be breast-feeding or bottle-feeding? 382 00:15:15,959 --> 00:15:17,579 And what about baby-proofing? 383 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,167 'Cause with all the sharp edges around here, 384 00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,500 I mean, this place is a deathtrap. 385 00:15:22,583 --> 00:15:24,963 Okay, you need to back off. 386 00:15:25,041 --> 00:15:26,001 I'm just trying to help. 387 00:15:26,083 --> 00:15:27,423 This is your idea of helping? 388 00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:29,750 Pointing out all the things I do badly? 389 00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:30,924 I'm not pointing out-- 390 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,170 Yes, you are. 391 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,130 You need to try to let other people in a little, 392 00:15:37,208 --> 00:15:38,708 because once you have that baby, 393 00:15:38,792 --> 00:15:40,042 it's not just you anymore. 394 00:15:40,125 --> 00:15:42,705 You're not gonna be able to control everything. 395 00:15:42,792 --> 00:15:45,332 Look, I just want to enjoy the fried chicken 396 00:15:45,417 --> 00:15:46,667 and be done with it. 397 00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:48,250 Oh, um... 398 00:15:48,333 --> 00:15:51,003 Well, I had to re-think the fried chicken. 399 00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:53,083 'Cause you're the only one who wanted all that breading, 400 00:15:53,166 --> 00:15:55,076 so instead, we're having mesclun greens 401 00:15:55,166 --> 00:15:57,246 and a lovely puttanesca. 402 00:15:57,333 --> 00:15:59,423 With a Fiji mum centerpiece. 403 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,460 A Fiji mum stork centerpiece? 404 00:16:01,542 --> 00:16:03,382 One stork, I think you can deal with one stork. 405 00:16:03,458 --> 00:16:04,998 Two storks, I saw the invitation. 406 00:16:05,083 --> 00:16:06,293 There's a stork on the invitation. 407 00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:08,455 That's not a stork, that is a duck. 408 00:16:08,542 --> 00:16:11,712 And that duck is smoking an "it's a boy" cigar. 409 00:16:11,792 --> 00:16:12,832 That duck's not for children. 410 00:16:12,917 --> 00:16:14,997 That duck is fucked, this whole shower is fucked! 411 00:16:15,083 --> 00:16:17,173 You can't have a shower without some baby stuff. 412 00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:19,670 You keep this up, you're gonna have a shower without a mommy! 413 00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:21,750 -Fine! -Fine! 414 00:16:23,667 --> 00:16:25,627 Miranda, you better show up! 415 00:16:25,709 --> 00:16:27,999 I am not getting stuck with a bunch of lawyers, 416 00:16:28,083 --> 00:16:29,383 who, if they're anything like you, 417 00:16:29,458 --> 00:16:32,128 won't even appreciate a beautiful puttanesca! 418 00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:34,998 Watch out for the sharp edges! 419 00:16:37,959 --> 00:16:39,959 Thanks for coming down and talking. 420 00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:41,211 Well, I really didn't have a choice. 421 00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:42,541 You couldn't make it up the stairs. 422 00:16:44,333 --> 00:16:45,423 -There. 423 00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:46,420 You feel better? 424 00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,040 The back, yes, the other stuff, no. 425 00:16:49,125 --> 00:16:50,825 I'm gonna be a terrible mother. 426 00:16:50,917 --> 00:16:52,667 -Miranda... -I am. 427 00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:54,960 I have no maternal instincts, no patience. 428 00:16:55,041 --> 00:16:56,671 The way I yelled at Charlotte. 429 00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:59,750 She was just trying to point out what needed to be child-proofed. 430 00:17:01,041 --> 00:17:03,041 -Oh, my God. -What? 431 00:17:03,125 --> 00:17:05,455 I'm what needs to be child-proofed. 432 00:17:06,709 --> 00:17:07,829 You want to quit? 433 00:17:07,917 --> 00:17:09,627 Come on, I'll quit the magazine, you quit the baby. 434 00:17:09,709 --> 00:17:13,789 We'll be two quitters, we'll live happily ever after. 435 00:17:13,875 --> 00:17:15,165 Can I tell you a secret? 436 00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:17,330 You're not really pregnant, it's water weight? 437 00:17:17,417 --> 00:17:19,497 I dropped my niece on her head. 438 00:17:19,583 --> 00:17:23,003 I was babysitting when I was 13 and I got bored. 439 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,463 I got bored, Carrie! 440 00:17:24,542 --> 00:17:27,542 I was doing my homework, she slid down the couch. 441 00:17:27,625 --> 00:17:28,665 Two stitches. 442 00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:31,380 Get off my stoop. 443 00:17:31,458 --> 00:17:34,628 How is this kid ever gonna make it? 444 00:17:34,709 --> 00:17:37,209 A type-A mother who works 50 hours a week 445 00:17:37,291 --> 00:17:38,581 and no father figure. 446 00:17:38,667 --> 00:17:40,707 He has a father figure. 447 00:17:40,792 --> 00:17:41,832 Steve. 448 00:17:41,917 --> 00:17:42,957 I meant you. 449 00:17:43,041 --> 00:17:44,961 Oh, really? 450 00:17:45,041 --> 00:17:47,421 -Yeah. -I do like those Yankees. 451 00:17:54,250 --> 00:17:55,380 Second date, dinner and a movie. 452 00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:56,998 Yeah, I hate them. 453 00:17:59,041 --> 00:18:00,461 Hey... 454 00:18:00,542 --> 00:18:02,882 Do you think it really can be as simple as my father walked out, 455 00:18:02,959 --> 00:18:06,079 therefore, I'll always be messed up about men? 456 00:18:06,166 --> 00:18:08,826 My father came home every night at seven on the dot, 457 00:18:08,917 --> 00:18:10,577 and I have no clue about men either. 458 00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:12,377 -So, it's a crapshoot. -Mm. 459 00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:15,670 Do I have to go to my own baby shower? 460 00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:18,330 I RSVP'd to a duck with a cigar. 461 00:18:18,417 --> 00:18:19,917 -All right. -You're going. 462 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,080 Okay, it's late, I gotta catch a cab. 463 00:18:22,166 --> 00:18:23,746 Wait, let me get you a forklift. 464 00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:28,673 -Are you ready? -Yeah, okay. 465 00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:31,460 Go, go, go, go. Here you go. 466 00:18:32,417 --> 00:18:33,917 -Thank you. -You did good. 467 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,420 -You, too. 468 00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:36,500 The next day, 469 00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,753 Miranda decided not to duck her own shower. 470 00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:40,134 Hey, you showed up. 471 00:18:40,208 --> 00:18:42,878 Yeah, yeah, bring on the ladies in hats 472 00:18:42,959 --> 00:18:45,249 and let's get this over with. 473 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,793 Where'd you put all the storks? 474 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,745 Well, you said you didn't want any storks. 475 00:18:48,834 --> 00:18:50,464 Yeah, I know, but-- 476 00:18:50,542 --> 00:18:55,922 Charlotte, what did you do? 477 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,830 -Well, it's your shower. 478 00:18:57,917 --> 00:18:59,577 -Oh, can you get that? 479 00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:01,077 'Cause I have to get the rest of the sandwiches. 480 00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:03,956 Which have all of their crusts, nothing cute. 481 00:19:04,041 --> 00:19:06,631 No ridiculous over-the-top baby stuff allowed. 482 00:19:06,709 --> 00:19:07,999 Oh! 483 00:19:09,333 --> 00:19:11,293 -Hey, mama! -Why are you opening the door? 484 00:19:11,375 --> 00:19:12,955 Aren't you supposed to be sitting on a lily pad 485 00:19:13,041 --> 00:19:14,211 being worshipped? 486 00:19:14,291 --> 00:19:15,831 What is that? 487 00:19:15,917 --> 00:19:19,247 It's a four-tiered baby cake made entirely of diapers. 488 00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:20,463 I baked it myself. 489 00:19:20,542 --> 00:19:21,832 We ordered it online. 490 00:19:21,917 --> 00:19:23,167 What am I supposed to do with it? 491 00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:25,170 How the hell should we know, didn't you want one? 492 00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:27,130 -No. -Well, we're not taking it back. 493 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:29,878 We've already been seen carrying it down Park Avenue. 494 00:19:29,959 --> 00:19:31,829 -Huh. -Definitely not Vogue. 495 00:19:31,917 --> 00:19:34,077 Charlotte said it was the shower gift. 496 00:19:34,166 --> 00:19:37,416 See, I told you we should've gotten a massage certificate. 497 00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:41,130 One hour, two platters of chicken, and 13 lawyers later, 498 00:19:41,208 --> 00:19:43,248 all talk had turned to babies. 499 00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:44,543 Well, almost all. 500 00:19:44,625 --> 00:19:47,285 She may be 21, but I have 21 years of experience. 501 00:19:47,375 --> 00:19:49,075 I can fuck her under the table. 502 00:19:49,166 --> 00:19:50,376 Well, that's good to know, 503 00:19:50,458 --> 00:19:52,498 because in a three-way situation, it could come to that. 504 00:19:52,583 --> 00:19:54,633 Honey, I have tricks she hasn't even seen. 505 00:19:54,709 --> 00:19:56,169 And those tricks aren't for kids. 506 00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:58,710 And no matter what happens, she's just renting him. 507 00:19:58,792 --> 00:19:59,632 I own. 508 00:19:59,709 --> 00:20:00,579 Exactly. 509 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:03,207 Although, I don't really own. 510 00:20:03,291 --> 00:20:05,171 So, it's more of an illegal sublet type of thing? 511 00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:07,330 -Yeah. -Wow. 512 00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:12,880 It's a breast pump. 513 00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:14,329 -Oh! Well, 514 00:20:14,417 --> 00:20:17,627 you know, I didn't want you coming to my office to borrow mine. 515 00:20:19,083 --> 00:20:21,543 You know what, I have to pee. 516 00:20:21,625 --> 00:20:23,575 Oh, no, no, wait, wait, here. 517 00:20:23,667 --> 00:20:25,627 -You take Charles. -Oh. 518 00:20:25,709 --> 00:20:27,129 Have fun, Mom. 519 00:20:28,625 --> 00:20:30,915 Alright, keep 'em coming, ladies! 520 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,540 -Let's keep the presents comin'! 521 00:20:32,625 --> 00:20:34,375 -Miranda! -Yeah? 522 00:20:34,458 --> 00:20:35,828 Nothing. 523 00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:39,498 Something tells me this one's Tiffany. 524 00:20:39,583 --> 00:20:41,293 Ooh... -That's from me. 525 00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,040 Oh... 526 00:20:44,125 --> 00:20:46,785 -That is elegant. -Oh, my God. 527 00:20:46,875 --> 00:20:48,875 That's exactly like the rattle Trey gave me 528 00:20:48,959 --> 00:20:52,499 when we first-- 529 00:20:52,583 --> 00:20:53,673 You okay? 530 00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:55,290 I'm fine, I'm fine. 531 00:20:55,375 --> 00:20:57,285 I'm sorry, everybody. 532 00:20:58,166 --> 00:21:02,076 Excuse me. 533 00:21:04,333 --> 00:21:05,833 What did I do? 534 00:21:10,083 --> 00:21:11,083 Charlotte? 535 00:21:11,166 --> 00:21:13,706 I just need to be alone right now. 536 00:21:14,375 --> 00:21:15,955 Okay. 537 00:21:16,750 --> 00:21:19,250 Except, you know, 538 00:21:19,333 --> 00:21:22,173 you got 20 people in the other room. 539 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:35,125 I'm sorry I ruined your shower. 540 00:21:35,208 --> 00:21:36,328 You didn't. 541 00:21:36,417 --> 00:21:38,077 And there wouldn't even be a shower to ruin 542 00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:40,376 if it weren't for you. 543 00:21:41,875 --> 00:21:45,075 Look, I know this is hard. 544 00:21:45,166 --> 00:21:48,246 And I really appreciate you trying to be okay 545 00:21:48,333 --> 00:21:50,173 with me having this baby. 546 00:21:51,375 --> 00:21:54,285 Because I need you. 547 00:21:54,375 --> 00:21:55,455 I mean, let's face it, 548 00:21:55,542 --> 00:21:58,382 you're the only person in my life who... 549 00:22:00,041 --> 00:22:02,631 knows how important it is to have a cake 550 00:22:02,709 --> 00:22:04,749 made entirely out of diapers. 551 00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:08,625 There's lotion in there, too. 552 00:22:08,709 --> 00:22:10,499 Oh, yeah? 553 00:22:12,041 --> 00:22:16,751 And baby bottles. And a receiving blanket. 554 00:22:18,291 --> 00:22:19,791 See? 555 00:22:21,291 --> 00:22:24,251 I would never have known that. 556 00:22:24,333 --> 00:22:26,253 You would've figured it out. 557 00:22:26,333 --> 00:22:29,003 And just like that, Miranda realized, 558 00:22:29,083 --> 00:22:31,503 she might be a good mother figure as well. 559 00:22:35,166 --> 00:22:37,166 Ah, hello? 560 00:22:37,250 --> 00:22:40,250 Somebody better go check on mommy in the guest bath, 561 00:22:40,333 --> 00:22:43,333 because little Fitz here has wet himself. 562 00:22:43,417 --> 00:22:45,707 -And myself, I might add. -Oh... 563 00:22:45,792 --> 00:22:48,632 Well, I happen to have four tiers of diapers. 564 00:22:48,709 --> 00:22:49,709 -Oh, good. -Ladies, 565 00:22:49,792 --> 00:22:51,542 can we cut the cake and get out of here? 566 00:22:51,625 --> 00:22:53,125 I have a three-way to go to. 567 00:22:53,208 --> 00:22:55,038 -Yeah. 568 00:22:55,125 --> 00:22:56,205 That's my earring. 569 00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:58,501 That night, at the birthday three-way, 570 00:22:58,583 --> 00:23:00,883 Samantha made sure it happened her way. 571 00:23:00,959 --> 00:23:02,919 Just so we're clear. 572 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:06,880 Tonight is just about sex, not love. 573 00:23:06,959 --> 00:23:09,539 So, there will be no kissing on the mouth. 574 00:23:09,625 --> 00:23:13,165 Richard's lips are off-limits to anyone but me. 575 00:23:13,250 --> 00:23:14,500 What if he kisses me? 576 00:23:15,667 --> 00:23:16,827 Who's up for champagne? 577 00:23:16,917 --> 00:23:19,457 I'm up for anything. 578 00:23:33,959 --> 00:23:35,249 Hey! 579 00:23:35,333 --> 00:23:39,713 Easy, Sam, there's more than enough of me to go around. 580 00:23:39,792 --> 00:23:41,082 You tell her, daddy. 581 00:23:41,166 --> 00:23:43,996 The one thing Richard didn't want for his birthday 582 00:23:44,083 --> 00:23:45,633 was to feel older. 583 00:23:45,709 --> 00:23:47,169 Get rid of her. 584 00:23:47,250 --> 00:23:48,250 I'm on it. 585 00:23:48,333 --> 00:23:49,633 Ooh! 586 00:23:50,333 --> 00:23:51,833 Hey! 587 00:23:51,917 --> 00:23:55,167 It was time for the fledgling to leave the love-nest. 588 00:23:57,709 --> 00:24:00,329 Anything else you want for your birthday? 589 00:24:01,458 --> 00:24:03,828 Nah, this is great. 590 00:24:03,917 --> 00:24:05,957 Just you and me. 591 00:24:08,208 --> 00:24:10,328 What about my three-way? 592 00:24:10,417 --> 00:24:13,327 I have a busboy arriving at midnight. 593 00:24:15,417 --> 00:24:18,497 Seriously, let's try this. 594 00:24:18,583 --> 00:24:20,923 Just you and me, 595 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,040 nobody else. 596 00:24:23,709 --> 00:24:27,459 Oh, okay. 597 00:24:27,542 --> 00:24:30,132 By giving Richard what he thought he wanted, 598 00:24:30,208 --> 00:24:33,288 Samantha finally got what she needed... 599 00:24:33,375 --> 00:24:35,035 Monogamy. 600 00:24:35,125 --> 00:24:37,455 The following night, with a little after-hours help 601 00:24:37,542 --> 00:24:38,882 from my favorite editor... 602 00:24:38,959 --> 00:24:40,789 I finished the impossible, 603 00:24:40,875 --> 00:24:42,125 my first Vogue piece. 604 00:24:42,208 --> 00:24:45,708 And now, my favorite part of the writing process... 605 00:24:46,542 --> 00:24:47,792 Print. 606 00:24:47,875 --> 00:24:49,955 Congratulations, cookie. 607 00:24:50,041 --> 00:24:51,291 500 beautifully written words, 608 00:24:51,375 --> 00:24:54,535 and some of them even include the Carrie Bradshaw agenda, 609 00:24:54,625 --> 00:24:55,995 cleverly hidden, of course. 610 00:24:56,083 --> 00:24:58,463 It's a literary Where's Waldo? 611 00:24:58,542 --> 00:24:59,752 When I finish a new piece, 612 00:24:59,834 --> 00:25:03,174 I usually celebrate by opening a bottle of Chateau Latour. 613 00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:04,330 How do you celebrate? 614 00:25:04,417 --> 00:25:07,167 By buying shoes and purses. 615 00:25:07,250 --> 00:25:11,290 Well, in that case... Have you ever heard of the Vogue accessories closet? 616 00:25:16,542 --> 00:25:17,962 Oh, my God! 617 00:25:19,250 --> 00:25:21,000 It's too good. 618 00:25:21,083 --> 00:25:25,673 I'm sorry, but it's, oh, it's too good. 619 00:25:25,750 --> 00:25:28,170 Just like a kid in a couture candy store. 620 00:25:28,250 --> 00:25:30,670 This is too much. 621 00:25:30,750 --> 00:25:32,380 How can this be? 622 00:25:32,458 --> 00:25:35,458 Well, designers send us things, and we photograph them. 623 00:25:37,583 --> 00:25:38,673 Oh, my God! 624 00:25:38,750 --> 00:25:39,670 Shh, Carrie! 625 00:25:39,750 --> 00:25:41,670 Do you-- Do you know what these are? 626 00:25:41,750 --> 00:25:43,420 We're not even supposed to be in here. 627 00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:46,920 Manolo Blahnik Mary Janes. 628 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,420 I thought these were an urban shoe myth. 629 00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:50,830 Now, if you'll excuse me. 630 00:25:50,917 --> 00:25:53,497 I'll be pillaging the men's side. 631 00:25:53,583 --> 00:25:56,133 Okay, oh, my God! 632 00:25:56,208 --> 00:25:59,538 These are authentic patent leather. 633 00:25:59,625 --> 00:26:01,205 And if they don't fit, 634 00:26:01,291 --> 00:26:04,171 so help me, I'm gonna wear them anyway. 635 00:26:04,250 --> 00:26:08,290 Oh... Wow. Well, they-- 636 00:26:08,375 --> 00:26:10,375 -They almost fit. Carrie? 637 00:26:10,458 --> 00:26:11,878 -Yeah? -Tell me what you think 638 00:26:11,959 --> 00:26:13,459 about these Versaces. 639 00:26:13,542 --> 00:26:15,632 Okay, alright. 640 00:26:17,834 --> 00:26:19,294 Oh. 641 00:26:20,458 --> 00:26:22,038 Oh! 642 00:26:22,125 --> 00:26:24,125 -What do you think? -Oh, my... 643 00:26:24,208 --> 00:26:26,378 Wha-- What are you doing? 644 00:26:26,458 --> 00:26:27,878 I'm just showing you these briefs. 645 00:26:27,959 --> 00:26:30,789 Well, don't! 646 00:26:30,875 --> 00:26:32,415 Julian, pull your pants up. 647 00:26:32,500 --> 00:26:35,380 Oof! Look at you in those Mary Janes... 648 00:26:35,458 --> 00:26:36,918 Stop! 649 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,920 What happened to your wife, the dancer? 650 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,080 She's having an affair with our friend, the chiropractor. 651 00:26:42,166 --> 00:26:43,206 Oh... 652 00:26:43,291 --> 00:26:45,081 -Carrie? -Wha-- Uh... What? 653 00:26:45,166 --> 00:26:46,416 I find you adorable. 654 00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:48,170 You're old enough to be my father. 655 00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:51,080 Hardly, would your father wear Versaces? 656 00:26:51,166 --> 00:26:52,916 Pull your pants up now. 657 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,540 Alright, but, cookie, as someone who really cares about you, let me just say, 658 00:26:56,625 --> 00:26:58,875 I think you have some serious issues with men. 659 00:26:58,959 --> 00:27:00,459 I do right now, yes. 660 00:27:00,542 --> 00:27:02,502 An older man can help you work through 661 00:27:02,583 --> 00:27:04,753 some of those father issues, cookie. 662 00:27:04,834 --> 00:27:07,084 Okay, don't "cookie" me, Freud. 663 00:27:07,166 --> 00:27:08,626 Pants up! 664 00:27:08,709 --> 00:27:10,209 Show some respect... 665 00:27:10,291 --> 00:27:11,461 This is Vogue. 666 00:27:11,542 --> 00:27:14,382 Turns out Julian had an agenda as well, 667 00:27:14,458 --> 00:27:17,498 but it was cleverly hidden, of course. 668 00:27:17,583 --> 00:27:20,833 From then on, once a month, when I went to Vogue, 669 00:27:20,917 --> 00:27:23,627 I thought it best to work exclusively with Enid. 670 00:27:23,709 --> 00:27:25,459 Alright, this new piece shows improvement, 671 00:27:25,542 --> 00:27:27,332 but still positively reeks of you. 672 00:27:27,417 --> 00:27:30,877 This magazine doesn't care what Carrie Bradshaw has to say about shoes. 673 00:27:30,959 --> 00:27:33,459 What does Carrie Bradshaw know about shoes? 674 00:27:33,542 --> 00:27:36,082 Enid, with all due respect... 675 00:27:36,166 --> 00:27:38,706 Men, I may not know... 676 00:27:38,792 --> 00:27:40,632 But shoes? 677 00:27:40,709 --> 00:27:42,879 Shoes, I know! 678 00:27:44,291 --> 00:27:47,791 I'm walking. 679 00:27:47,875 --> 00:27:49,245 Oh, I'm walking. 680 00:27:49,333 --> 00:27:52,213 I admit, it's tempting to wish for the perfect boss, 681 00:27:52,291 --> 00:27:55,081 or the perfect parent, or the perfect outfit. 682 00:27:55,166 --> 00:27:57,166 But maybe the best any of us can do 683 00:27:57,250 --> 00:27:58,420 is not quit, 684 00:27:58,500 --> 00:27:59,920 play the hand we've been given, 685 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:03,250 and accessorize the outfit we've got.