1 00:00:48,003 --> 00:00:52,013 [Carrie] A girl in pigtails once said, "There's no place like home." 2 00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:57,014 But then, her home didn't have a toilet 3 00:00:57,009 --> 00:00:59,009 that flushed for no reason... 4 00:01:00,005 --> 00:01:02,005 [knocking] 5 00:01:02,012 --> 00:01:04,022 And a boyfriend who was moving out 6 00:01:04,019 --> 00:01:05,999 for one big reason. 7 00:01:10,023 --> 00:01:12,023 Well, that's the last of it. 8 00:01:16,004 --> 00:01:17,014 [clears throat] 9 00:01:17,014 --> 00:01:18,024 Okay. 10 00:01:21,006 --> 00:01:23,006 -Do you want me to fix that? -No, it's okay. 11 00:01:23,011 --> 00:01:25,021 I can get someone to come and fix it. 12 00:01:28,007 --> 00:01:30,007 Just let me get in there for a sec... 13 00:01:36,010 --> 00:01:37,020 Hold the ball cock. 14 00:01:37,019 --> 00:01:38,019 Huh? 15 00:01:38,023 --> 00:01:41,003 -See right here? -Oh. 16 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,998 Yeah, right there. 17 00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,017 That should do it. 18 00:01:52,002 --> 00:01:53,012 I should go. 19 00:01:57,013 --> 00:01:59,013 You can't leave. 20 00:01:59,011 --> 00:02:02,021 Our last words to each other can't be "ball cock." 21 00:02:05,005 --> 00:02:07,005 You should definitely stay. 22 00:02:08,021 --> 00:02:10,021 At least for another day. 23 00:02:11,020 --> 00:02:13,020 Or forever. 24 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,020 We've been through this. 25 00:02:17,021 --> 00:02:19,011 I can't. 26 00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:23,019 Are you sure? 27 00:02:25,004 --> 00:02:26,014 I am. 28 00:02:29,002 --> 00:02:30,012 Aidan, um... 29 00:02:33,012 --> 00:02:37,002 This... this is difficult to say... 30 00:02:38,008 --> 00:02:43,018 Um... I left the ring on the clown table. 31 00:02:44,022 --> 00:02:46,022 -It's yours. -No, no, no, no. 32 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,011 I should never have accepted it in the first place, 33 00:02:49,012 --> 00:02:51,012 I'm sorry. 34 00:02:51,010 --> 00:02:52,010 Please take the ring. 35 00:02:52,015 --> 00:02:54,005 But I want you to have it. 36 00:02:54,013 --> 00:02:56,023 [Carrie] Please take it. 37 00:02:56,021 --> 00:02:58,011 If you do or say... 38 00:03:01,002 --> 00:03:02,022 one more nice thing... 39 00:03:08,008 --> 00:03:09,008 Okay, I gotta go. 40 00:03:09,010 --> 00:03:10,010 All right. I can't watch you leave. 41 00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:12,015 So I think I'm just gonna, I better just-- 42 00:03:12,023 --> 00:03:14,013 I'm gonna stay in here. 43 00:03:14,008 --> 00:03:15,998 Could you just... 44 00:03:16,006 --> 00:03:18,996 Could you just um, shut the door and... 45 00:03:19,005 --> 00:03:20,005 Carrie... 46 00:03:20,010 --> 00:03:21,010 I know. 47 00:03:22,018 --> 00:03:23,018 Go. 48 00:03:42,006 --> 00:03:43,016 Three hours later, 49 00:03:43,019 --> 00:03:46,009 I peeled myself off the bathroom floor. 50 00:03:56,004 --> 00:03:58,014 Apparently, there were things that were difficult 51 00:03:58,007 --> 00:04:00,007 for Aidan to say as well. 52 00:04:09,014 --> 00:04:13,004 I curled up to read Aidan's last words to me. 53 00:04:13,004 --> 00:04:15,014 Also known as "The goodbye letter." 54 00:04:26,023 --> 00:04:28,013 Aidan's evicting her? 55 00:04:28,010 --> 00:04:29,020 He's not evicting her. 56 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:32,009 He's giving her 30 days to decide what she wants to do. 57 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:33,020 Well, that's just tacky. 58 00:04:33,019 --> 00:04:35,019 Look, life gets complicated. 59 00:04:35,022 --> 00:04:38,022 Steve and I are drawing up papers to timeshare our kid. 60 00:04:38,017 --> 00:04:41,007 Great love stories are supposed to end with tragedy and tears, 61 00:04:41,010 --> 00:04:45,000 not papers from the law firm of Gold and Vogel. 62 00:04:45,005 --> 00:04:46,015 This is more than fair. 63 00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:48,020 He's asking you to buy your apartment 64 00:04:48,017 --> 00:04:50,007 for the exact price he paid 65 00:04:50,011 --> 00:04:52,011 or you can vacate and he'll sell it. 66 00:04:52,008 --> 00:04:53,018 Vacate? 67 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,020 I'm homeless. I'll be a bag lady. 68 00:04:55,023 --> 00:04:57,013 A Fendi bag lady, but a bag lady. 69 00:04:57,012 --> 00:04:59,012 Well, maybe you should think about buying your place. 70 00:04:59,014 --> 00:05:00,024 No, I'm not a buyer. 71 00:05:00,018 --> 00:05:01,018 New York is a town of renters. 72 00:05:01,023 --> 00:05:02,023 Everybody rents. 73 00:05:02,020 --> 00:05:04,010 -I don't. -I don't. 74 00:05:04,009 --> 00:05:05,009 I don't. 75 00:05:05,007 --> 00:05:06,007 You got yours in the settlement. 76 00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:08,005 You did not have to pay for your apartment. 77 00:05:08,014 --> 00:05:11,004 Oh, I paid for that apartment. 78 00:05:12,003 --> 00:05:13,013 [farting] 79 00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,023 I'm pregnant. I can't control it. 80 00:05:15,021 --> 00:05:17,011 Well, honey, you better learn 81 00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:19,012 because that is unappetizing. 82 00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,014 I know. 83 00:05:20,010 --> 00:05:23,010 I am so swollen and gassy. 84 00:05:23,008 --> 00:05:24,018 I'm like a flotation device. 85 00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:28,003 No, I'll get this one. And I don't want a fight out of you. 86 00:05:28,006 --> 00:05:31,006 Save it for your down payment. 87 00:05:31,009 --> 00:05:35,009 Ooh! Excuse me? You bought the Chanel wallet? 88 00:05:35,009 --> 00:05:37,019 Oh, no. Richard gave it to me as a gift. 89 00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:39,000 Nice! What was the occasion? 90 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,005 No occasion. 91 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,007 He is in love with you. 92 00:05:41,012 --> 00:05:42,012 He's not in love with me. 93 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:44,009 -You don't know that. -Yes, I do. 94 00:05:45,004 --> 00:05:46,024 Take a look at the card. 95 00:05:48,008 --> 00:05:49,018 "Style for style. 96 00:05:49,022 --> 00:05:51,002 Best, Richard." 97 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:53,012 -"Best," yikes. -"Best" is the worst. 98 00:05:53,016 --> 00:05:55,016 Yeah, even Gold and Vogel give you a "sincerely." 99 00:05:56,001 --> 00:05:57,011 Best is like signing, "Not love." 100 00:05:57,015 --> 00:05:58,015 [Charlotte] Well, it's the thought that counts. 101 00:05:58,021 --> 00:06:01,001 He bought you something he knew you'd love. 102 00:06:01,006 --> 00:06:02,006 Yeah, he's a pretty generous guy. 103 00:06:02,015 --> 00:06:03,005 With money. 104 00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:05,004 Aidan wanted me to keep the ring. 105 00:06:05,023 --> 00:06:07,013 You did, didn't you? 106 00:06:08,022 --> 00:06:10,022 Oh, honey, you're a fool. 107 00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:12,001 No. 108 00:06:12,006 --> 00:06:14,016 It was the right thing to do. 109 00:06:14,023 --> 00:06:16,013 Did you ever think about giving yours back? 110 00:06:16,016 --> 00:06:18,006 No, I love that ring. 111 00:06:18,012 --> 00:06:20,012 Oh, I couldn't keep it. 112 00:06:20,014 --> 00:06:23,004 Every time I looked at it, it would break my heart. 113 00:06:27,013 --> 00:06:28,023 This ring is worth a lot. 114 00:06:28,022 --> 00:06:31,022 Tiffany, 2.17 carats, platinum setting. 115 00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:34,013 Beautiful cut, very few inclusions. 116 00:06:34,014 --> 00:06:36,014 So what do you want to do with it? 117 00:06:36,014 --> 00:06:39,014 I was thinking maybe I'd turn it into a... necklace? 118 00:06:39,014 --> 00:06:42,024 A floating diamond necklace would be to die. 119 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:43,020 Very now. 120 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,020 So a lot of people do this? 121 00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:47,021 These were my baguettes. 122 00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:50,020 Because it turned out my husband was a "fagette," 123 00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:53,008 now they're earrings. But he had good taste. 124 00:06:54,004 --> 00:06:56,004 So a necklace? 125 00:06:56,003 --> 00:06:58,023 -I'm not sure. -Maybe a pendant? 126 00:06:58,020 --> 00:07:00,010 We can melt down the platinum setting 127 00:07:00,010 --> 00:07:02,010 and turn it into spectacular earrings. 128 00:07:02,012 --> 00:07:05,022 Melt? Melt it down? 129 00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:08,010 [Carrie] There in the wedding band boneyard, 130 00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,000 Charlotte started to melt down. 131 00:07:10,005 --> 00:07:12,015 I don't think I'm ready for this. 132 00:07:12,021 --> 00:07:15,021 Just don't take it to the Gypsies next door. 133 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:21,011 Okay. 134 00:07:21,009 --> 00:07:23,999 Let's look at your assets here at the bank. 135 00:07:24,006 --> 00:07:27,006 We may be able to use them as collateral for the loan. 136 00:07:27,009 --> 00:07:28,019 [woman on intercom] Linda, line one. 137 00:07:28,023 --> 00:07:29,023 Okay. 138 00:07:29,022 --> 00:07:31,022 It says here that you have 139 00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:33,017 $700 in your checking account. 140 00:07:33,021 --> 00:07:35,021 I just paid my credit card bill. 141 00:07:36,014 --> 00:07:41,004 And $957 in savings? 142 00:07:43,008 --> 00:07:45,018 Look... Linda. 143 00:07:45,023 --> 00:07:47,003 You're single, right? 144 00:07:47,005 --> 00:07:49,995 So I'm sure that you can appreciate my problem. 145 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,023 I just broke up with my fiancé, 146 00:07:52,023 --> 00:07:55,013 which, trust me, is traumatic enough. 147 00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:56,017 [woman on intercom] Linda, line two. 148 00:07:57,001 --> 00:07:57,021 And now... 149 00:07:58,001 --> 00:08:00,001 I have 25 days 150 00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:02,023 to either find the money to buy my place 151 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,020 or I am out on the street. 152 00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:07,017 Do you have any other income 153 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,020 besides the column? 154 00:08:09,019 --> 00:08:13,019 No. But I was chosen as New York Magazine's best pick 155 00:08:13,022 --> 00:08:15,012 for city columnist. 156 00:08:15,014 --> 00:08:17,014 I was the pick over Pete Hamill. 157 00:08:17,012 --> 00:08:20,002 What about your assets outside the bank? 158 00:08:20,006 --> 00:08:22,006 Property? Stocks? Bonds? 159 00:08:22,013 --> 00:08:23,013 No. 160 00:08:23,011 --> 00:08:24,011 No, no. 161 00:08:24,011 --> 00:08:27,021 I'm sorry, Miss Bradshaw... 162 00:08:27,018 --> 00:08:31,008 but you're not a desirable candidate 163 00:08:31,016 --> 00:08:33,006 for a loan. 164 00:08:37,002 --> 00:08:40,012 [Carrie] After assessing what little assets I had, 165 00:08:40,016 --> 00:08:43,996 I realized I would have to change my lifestyle. 166 00:08:44,002 --> 00:08:45,002 Excuse me? 167 00:08:45,003 --> 00:08:46,023 Can you tell me how much the bus is? 168 00:08:46,022 --> 00:08:48,012 $1.50. 169 00:08:48,012 --> 00:08:50,002 Really? 170 00:08:50,006 --> 00:08:51,016 Wow, the last time I took the bus, 171 00:08:51,019 --> 00:08:53,009 it was like 75 cents. 172 00:08:53,014 --> 00:08:55,024 You know, for three more bucks you could take a cab. 173 00:09:02,005 --> 00:09:03,995 For crying out loud. 174 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:07,002 Why do you have to take the bus, if you're on the bus? 175 00:09:08,010 --> 00:09:10,020 My thoughts exactly. 176 00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:14,010 So here I was, a 35-year-old single woman 177 00:09:14,007 --> 00:09:15,017 with no financial security, 178 00:09:15,023 --> 00:09:18,013 but many life experiences behind me. 179 00:09:18,011 --> 00:09:20,001 -[toilet flushing] -Did that mean nothing? 180 00:09:20,006 --> 00:09:22,006 After all, heartbreak and breakups 181 00:09:22,014 --> 00:09:24,014 are the hardest kind of work. 182 00:09:24,007 --> 00:09:27,007 So shouldn't there be some sort of credit for enduring them? 183 00:09:27,009 --> 00:09:30,009 And if not, how do you retain a sense of value 184 00:09:30,009 --> 00:09:33,009 when you have nothing concrete to show for it? 185 00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,007 Because at the end 186 00:09:34,016 --> 00:09:37,016 of yet another failed relationship, 187 00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:41,010 when all you have are war wounds and self-doubt, 188 00:09:41,012 --> 00:09:43,012 you have to wonder... 189 00:09:43,011 --> 00:09:44,021 What's it all worth? 190 00:09:46,016 --> 00:09:49,016 Let me just say again, I love your gallery. 191 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,000 So if there are ever any openings, 192 00:09:52,002 --> 00:09:53,022 you have my resume. 193 00:09:53,022 --> 00:09:57,012 [Carrie] Meanwhile, a woman with far fewer financial worries 194 00:09:57,008 --> 00:09:59,998 was also contemplating her worth. 195 00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:17,024 Charlotte knew the ring didn't mean as much now 196 00:10:17,021 --> 00:10:20,021 that she was no longer with Trey. 197 00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:23,019 But on that particularly low Thursday, 198 00:10:24,017 --> 00:10:27,017 she put on her 2.17 carat diamond 199 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:32,020 and wandered around her 2.17 carat Park Avenue apartment. 200 00:10:41,023 --> 00:10:44,013 That night at Richard's... 201 00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,020 [gasps] Another gift? 202 00:10:45,018 --> 00:10:47,018 Are you trying to spoil me? 203 00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:49,010 That's the plan. 204 00:10:49,008 --> 00:10:51,008 Ooh, La Petite Coquette, my favorite. 205 00:10:51,008 --> 00:10:52,018 I know. I pay attention. 206 00:10:52,017 --> 00:10:54,017 Wait a minute, there's a card. 207 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:56,021 Oh. 208 00:10:56,018 --> 00:10:57,998 The card. 209 00:10:59,022 --> 00:11:03,002 "Sexy for sexy. Best, Richard." 210 00:11:03,002 --> 00:11:06,012 Why don't you slip into that while I pour us some Cristal? 211 00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:08,023 I'll do my very best. 212 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:14,010 Oh, water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink. 213 00:11:15,003 --> 00:11:17,003 Oh, this is torture. 214 00:11:17,004 --> 00:11:18,014 Why are you doing this to me? 215 00:11:18,014 --> 00:11:19,024 I can't buy shoes. 216 00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:21,010 Well, I have to buy shoes. 217 00:11:21,011 --> 00:11:22,011 None of my old ones fit. 218 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,005 Even my feet are fat. 219 00:11:24,007 --> 00:11:25,007 Well, these are pretty. 220 00:11:25,007 --> 00:11:26,997 I'm looking for comfortable. 221 00:11:27,002 --> 00:11:28,022 Then I'll try these for you. 222 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,020 -Excuse me, sir. -Yes? 223 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,010 Could I try these, please, in a seven and a half? 224 00:11:32,009 --> 00:11:35,009 Oh, and um, these, and... 225 00:11:35,007 --> 00:11:36,017 [mumbling to herself] 226 00:11:36,023 --> 00:11:38,023 well, I guess, just all of these. 227 00:11:39,001 --> 00:11:40,001 But sir... 228 00:11:40,005 --> 00:11:42,005 no matter what happens in the next 20 minutes, 229 00:11:42,013 --> 00:11:45,013 under no circumstances am I to buy these. 230 00:11:45,014 --> 00:11:47,004 I'm just trying them on for fun. 231 00:11:47,003 --> 00:11:50,023 -How fun for me. -[giggles] 232 00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:52,011 Could I try these in a nine? 233 00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:53,022 -Sure. -Thanks. 234 00:11:57,021 --> 00:11:59,011 What is that smell? 235 00:11:59,008 --> 00:12:00,008 Sorry. 236 00:12:00,014 --> 00:12:02,024 I've learned to control the sound now, 237 00:12:02,017 --> 00:12:03,017 but not the activity. 238 00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:06,003 Well, that's just mean. 239 00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:07,018 Damn. 240 00:12:08,001 --> 00:12:10,011 How are people gonna know to scatter without a warning? 241 00:12:10,008 --> 00:12:12,018 Although maybe it's not that I've... 242 00:12:12,017 --> 00:12:13,017 controlled the noise 243 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,020 as much as my ass is so big 244 00:12:15,022 --> 00:12:17,022 -the sound is now muffled. -[laughs] 245 00:12:18,001 --> 00:12:19,011 Look at my fingers. 246 00:12:19,011 --> 00:12:20,011 They're like sausages. 247 00:12:20,012 --> 00:12:21,012 I can't even get my ring off. 248 00:12:21,016 --> 00:12:23,016 I'm telling you, the fat ass, 249 00:12:24,001 --> 00:12:25,001 the farting. 250 00:12:25,004 --> 00:12:26,004 It's ridiculous. 251 00:12:26,004 --> 00:12:27,014 I am unfuckable. 252 00:12:27,010 --> 00:12:30,010 And I have never been so horny in my entire life. 253 00:12:30,012 --> 00:12:32,012 -Really? -Yeah. 254 00:12:32,014 --> 00:12:35,004 That's why you're supposed to be married when you're pregnant. 255 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:38,004 So somebody is obligated to have sex with you. 256 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,020 I'm an undesirable. 257 00:12:41,020 --> 00:12:43,020 No, I am. 258 00:12:43,022 --> 00:12:45,002 The lady at the bank said 259 00:12:45,003 --> 00:12:48,023 I was an unattractive candidate for a loan. 260 00:12:48,021 --> 00:12:49,021 Where did all my money go? 261 00:12:49,022 --> 00:12:51,022 I know I made some. 262 00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:54,010 Uh... at 400 bucks a pop, 263 00:12:54,012 --> 00:12:56,012 how many of these do you have? 264 00:12:56,007 --> 00:12:57,007 Fifty? 265 00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:58,020 Come on. 266 00:12:58,023 --> 00:12:59,023 A hundred? 267 00:13:00,022 --> 00:13:02,002 Would that be wrong? 268 00:13:02,005 --> 00:13:03,005 100 times 400. 269 00:13:03,012 --> 00:13:04,022 There's your down payment. 270 00:13:04,019 --> 00:13:06,009 Well, that's only $4,000. 271 00:13:07,004 --> 00:13:08,024 No, it's $40,000. 272 00:13:08,018 --> 00:13:11,018 [gasps] I've spent... 273 00:13:12,007 --> 00:13:14,997 $40,000 on shoes 274 00:13:15,005 --> 00:13:17,005 and I have no place to live? 275 00:13:18,022 --> 00:13:23,002 I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes. 276 00:13:24,005 --> 00:13:25,005 [farting] 277 00:13:25,014 --> 00:13:26,024 [sighs] 278 00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:29,016 I pulled my own finger. 279 00:13:29,019 --> 00:13:33,009 I'm a walking whoopee cushion. 280 00:13:33,007 --> 00:13:34,997 [Carrie] When a girl gets backed up against the walls 281 00:13:35,003 --> 00:13:38,013 she can't afford, she has to consider renting others. 282 00:13:39,014 --> 00:13:40,024 That's a closet? 283 00:13:41,022 --> 00:13:43,002 Where do the shoes go? 284 00:13:43,006 --> 00:13:46,016 You get one of those racks that hang on the door. 285 00:13:46,017 --> 00:13:49,017 I'll hang myself on the door if I have to live here. 286 00:13:53,001 --> 00:13:54,011 Do-- 287 00:13:54,009 --> 00:13:55,999 Do I smell curry? 288 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,012 There's an Indian restaurant downstairs. 289 00:13:59,023 --> 00:14:02,003 Delia, I ask you, 290 00:14:02,005 --> 00:14:06,005 how can this apartment be $2,800 a month? 291 00:14:06,007 --> 00:14:08,017 I pay $750 for something that's twice the size 292 00:14:08,022 --> 00:14:10,012 and it don't smell like take-out. 293 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,005 You have a rent-controlled apartment? 294 00:14:12,008 --> 00:14:13,018 I suggest you stay there. 295 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:17,020 Well... unfortunately, that's really not an option. 296 00:14:19,003 --> 00:14:21,023 Now, what other shitholes are you showing me today? 297 00:14:21,023 --> 00:14:23,003 I have to be honest, 298 00:14:23,004 --> 00:14:25,014 with your attitude and price limitations, 299 00:14:25,016 --> 00:14:28,016 I think you should consider Weehawken. 300 00:14:29,022 --> 00:14:32,022 Uh, well, get back to me when the numbers are in. 301 00:14:34,011 --> 00:14:36,011 Well, look at you all dressed up. 302 00:14:36,016 --> 00:14:38,006 Applying for a job here? 303 00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:40,017 So this is where you work? 304 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,015 It's cute. 305 00:14:42,017 --> 00:14:44,017 It's smaller than I expected. 306 00:14:44,023 --> 00:14:47,023 I always imagined rows and rows of blondes 307 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:49,010 in tight sweaters typing. 308 00:14:49,009 --> 00:14:51,019 Oh, they're at lunch. 309 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,010 I am here in an official capacity. 310 00:14:54,015 --> 00:14:55,005 Oh. 311 00:14:55,011 --> 00:14:57,011 Aren't you gonna ask me to sit down? 312 00:14:57,010 --> 00:15:00,000 By all means, pick a chair. 313 00:15:00,003 --> 00:15:02,013 [Carrie] Faced with the prospect of Weehawken, 314 00:15:02,007 --> 00:15:05,007 I decided it was time to call in the "big" guns. 315 00:15:05,012 --> 00:15:09,012 Now, what can I do for you? 316 00:15:09,015 --> 00:15:11,995 I once read that you took something like 317 00:15:12,003 --> 00:15:15,013 three million dollars and leveraged it to build a hundred million dollar building. 318 00:15:15,016 --> 00:15:16,996 How did you do that? 319 00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,011 What's going on? 320 00:15:19,008 --> 00:15:21,008 I want to buy my apartment. 321 00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:22,017 But I have no money. 322 00:15:26,015 --> 00:15:27,995 I'm worth nothing. 323 00:15:30,001 --> 00:15:32,011 You're worth a million bucks, Bradshaw. 324 00:15:32,016 --> 00:15:34,996 Well, maybe you should go work at a bank. 325 00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:39,023 Aidan and I broke up. 326 00:15:42,013 --> 00:15:45,013 So it's not just money troubles. 327 00:15:47,005 --> 00:15:48,015 Why didn't you call me? 328 00:15:48,020 --> 00:15:50,010 I got enough troubles. 329 00:15:52,021 --> 00:15:54,021 What happened? 330 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:55,021 Apparently, you were right. 331 00:15:56,001 --> 00:15:57,021 I'm not the marrying kind. 332 00:15:57,017 --> 00:15:59,007 Or the timing wasn't right. 333 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,021 You're gonna be okay, kid. 334 00:16:04,019 --> 00:16:07,009 So I need money. 335 00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,019 You know money. 336 00:16:08,019 --> 00:16:11,019 I need to know what you know about money. 337 00:16:11,018 --> 00:16:13,008 Simple. 338 00:16:15,009 --> 00:16:17,009 I'll tell you how to get the money. 339 00:16:17,014 --> 00:16:19,024 Big offered me the money for my down payment, 340 00:16:19,022 --> 00:16:22,002 but I could never take it. 341 00:16:25,022 --> 00:16:27,022 -Could I? -No, you couldn't. 342 00:16:27,023 --> 00:16:30,013 He just gave you $30,000? 343 00:16:30,011 --> 00:16:32,011 As a loan. I would pay him back. 344 00:16:32,011 --> 00:16:33,021 Take the money. 345 00:16:33,018 --> 00:16:36,008 When a man gives you money, you give him control. 346 00:16:36,010 --> 00:16:37,020 It's just money. 347 00:16:37,022 --> 00:16:39,012 Man, woman, who cares? 348 00:16:39,007 --> 00:16:41,007 It's fluid. Someone needs it, you give it. 349 00:16:41,016 --> 00:16:43,006 You need it, you take it. 350 00:16:43,010 --> 00:16:45,010 I'm uncomfortable with this conversation. 351 00:16:45,008 --> 00:16:46,018 We shouldn't be talking about money. 352 00:16:46,019 --> 00:16:48,009 Why not? We talk about everything else. 353 00:16:48,016 --> 00:16:50,016 Yeah, people are funny about money. 354 00:16:50,017 --> 00:16:51,017 Like Richard. 355 00:16:51,021 --> 00:16:53,021 He's happy to buy me gifts, but-- 356 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:54,020 still no "love"? 357 00:16:55,001 --> 00:16:59,021 No, but he continues to send his "best." 358 00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:01,009 Don't cash Big's check. 359 00:17:01,013 --> 00:17:02,023 I'll loan you the money. 360 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,021 You're about to have a baby. 361 00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,013 I can't take your money. 362 00:17:05,015 --> 00:17:07,015 And furthermore, do you have that much? 363 00:17:07,023 --> 00:17:10,003 I have about half that. 364 00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:11,023 What, does no one else shoe shop? 365 00:17:11,019 --> 00:17:13,009 I could loan you the rest. 366 00:17:14,015 --> 00:17:17,005 Look, that is... 367 00:17:17,007 --> 00:17:20,997 really, really sweet of you two to offer-- 368 00:17:21,003 --> 00:17:22,023 [slurps] 369 00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:25,020 It's really, really sweet. 370 00:17:25,017 --> 00:17:26,017 But I'm gonna... 371 00:17:26,021 --> 00:17:28,011 I'm gonna do this on my own. 372 00:17:28,009 --> 00:17:29,999 [slurping continues] 373 00:17:33,013 --> 00:17:36,013 So I can't tape it back. 374 00:17:37,005 --> 00:17:39,005 -I have news! -Ooh. 375 00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:41,014 It looks like I've gotten a job as a docent 376 00:17:41,014 --> 00:17:44,004 -at the Museum of Modern Art. -[Samantha] Hmm. 377 00:17:44,002 --> 00:17:45,022 Well, what does that pay? I can docent. 378 00:17:45,021 --> 00:17:47,011 Oh, it's a volunteer job. 379 00:17:47,015 --> 00:17:49,995 But they're very coveted positions. 380 00:17:50,006 --> 00:17:51,006 Oh. 381 00:17:51,012 --> 00:17:52,022 [waiter] You come back. 382 00:18:00,019 --> 00:18:02,009 I have no fortune. 383 00:18:02,015 --> 00:18:04,015 I didn't need a cookie to tell me that. 384 00:18:06,023 --> 00:18:09,003 You know, these fans only cost a dollar. 385 00:18:09,002 --> 00:18:12,002 I'm gonna save a lot of money on air conditioning. 386 00:18:16,002 --> 00:18:17,012 Are you okay? 387 00:18:19,011 --> 00:18:21,011 No apartment and no Aidan. 388 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,000 It's been a rough two weeks. 389 00:18:31,017 --> 00:18:33,017 Just give me a block, I'm gonna be fine. 390 00:18:43,013 --> 00:18:45,013 As I thought about leaving the apartment 391 00:18:45,015 --> 00:18:48,005 that I had lived in for the past decade, 392 00:18:48,007 --> 00:18:50,007 I realized how much I would miss it. 393 00:18:50,011 --> 00:18:52,021 Through everything, it had always been there for me. 394 00:18:52,023 --> 00:18:56,023 And suddenly, I was irrationally angry. 395 00:18:56,023 --> 00:18:59,013 And I knew just where and who 396 00:18:59,011 --> 00:19:01,021 to take it irrationally out on. 397 00:19:01,017 --> 00:19:02,017 Hi. 398 00:19:02,023 --> 00:19:04,023 What are you doing here? 399 00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:06,009 I was just in the neighborhood. 400 00:19:07,016 --> 00:19:09,006 Well, come on in. 401 00:19:09,009 --> 00:19:11,999 You want some iced tea or something? 402 00:19:12,004 --> 00:19:15,004 Why didn't you offer me the money? 403 00:19:15,002 --> 00:19:17,022 -I knew you were gonna say that. -I wouldn't take it. 404 00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:20,002 Well then, what does it matter if I offered it or not? 405 00:19:20,006 --> 00:19:21,016 Because... 406 00:19:21,018 --> 00:19:23,998 I would have offered it to you. 407 00:19:24,002 --> 00:19:25,002 You're my friend. 408 00:19:25,003 --> 00:19:27,013 And money and friendship don't mix. 409 00:19:27,016 --> 00:19:30,006 My father and his friend Paul were never the same after-- 410 00:19:30,008 --> 00:19:35,008 We're not talking about your father and his friend Paul. 411 00:19:35,011 --> 00:19:39,001 We're talking about you and your friend, me. 412 00:19:39,002 --> 00:19:41,012 And for the record, I am aware 413 00:19:41,008 --> 00:19:44,998 that I have some financial messiness that I have to clean up. 414 00:19:45,004 --> 00:19:47,004 And to that end, I am looking 415 00:19:47,003 --> 00:19:48,023 into some freelance magazine work. 416 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,020 I've been offered $4.00 a word at Vogue. 417 00:19:50,019 --> 00:19:52,009 That is a lot. 418 00:19:52,010 --> 00:19:54,010 Most people get $2.00. 419 00:19:54,011 --> 00:19:57,011 So yes, I have made some mistakes. 420 00:19:57,007 --> 00:19:58,017 And Charlotte... 421 00:19:58,018 --> 00:20:00,018 you have made some mistakes. 422 00:20:00,023 --> 00:20:02,023 And when you were making those mistakes, 423 00:20:02,017 --> 00:20:05,017 I was sitting across from you at the coffee shop, 424 00:20:05,022 --> 00:20:08,022 nodding, and listening, and supporting you. 425 00:20:09,001 --> 00:20:12,011 I was not sitting at a Chinese restaurant 426 00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:16,010 turning away when you should have been looking at me. 427 00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:20,014 And what kills me is you don't even have to work. 428 00:20:20,008 --> 00:20:22,008 You're volunteering. 429 00:20:25,009 --> 00:20:27,999 Carrie, I love you. 430 00:20:29,006 --> 00:20:32,016 But it is not my job to fix your finances. 431 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:36,013 You're a 35-year-old woman. 432 00:20:36,013 --> 00:20:39,013 You need to learn to stand on your own. 433 00:20:39,012 --> 00:20:40,022 Charlotte... 434 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,010 What is that on your finger? 435 00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:49,010 I just wear it when I'm alone in my house. 436 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:51,005 And you're telling me to be more independent? 437 00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:52,016 It's my ring. 438 00:20:52,022 --> 00:20:54,012 I can wear it if I want to. 439 00:20:54,014 --> 00:20:56,024 And so what if it makes me feel better? 440 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,010 And for the record, 441 00:20:58,014 --> 00:21:00,004 the only reason that I am volunteering 442 00:21:00,006 --> 00:21:01,996 is because no one will hire me! 443 00:21:02,006 --> 00:21:04,006 I've called seven galleries. 444 00:21:04,010 --> 00:21:08,000 Apparently, I have too much experience. 445 00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:11,018 You're right. 446 00:21:11,019 --> 00:21:13,009 It's your ring, it's your business. 447 00:21:13,016 --> 00:21:15,006 I just got all worked up on the walk over here. 448 00:21:15,013 --> 00:21:17,013 -You walked? -No. 449 00:21:17,013 --> 00:21:20,023 I took a $5.00 cab ride seven blocks. 450 00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:24,007 These shoes pinch my feet, but I love them. 451 00:21:25,013 --> 00:21:27,023 I am in a financial cul-de-sac. 452 00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:30,020 But I'm gonna take the bus. 453 00:21:31,020 --> 00:21:33,010 I just hope I'm not on it. 454 00:21:37,023 --> 00:21:40,013 Meanwhile, in the lap of luxury... 455 00:21:40,016 --> 00:21:42,016 [screaming] 456 00:21:42,023 --> 00:21:45,013 It's okay. I'm Richard's assistant and I'm gay! 457 00:21:45,016 --> 00:21:48,996 Well, "gay," turn around and give a girl a moment. 458 00:21:49,003 --> 00:21:52,003 I'm Roger and you weren't supposed to be here. 459 00:21:52,003 --> 00:21:55,013 Well, Richard left and I decided to take a nice, relaxing bath, 460 00:21:55,008 --> 00:21:56,018 but now that's shot to shit. 461 00:21:58,014 --> 00:22:00,014 Okay, decent. 462 00:22:00,011 --> 00:22:04,021 I am so sorry, but if it's any consolation... 463 00:22:04,018 --> 00:22:05,018 Wow. 464 00:22:05,018 --> 00:22:06,998 Pilates. 465 00:22:07,003 --> 00:22:11,023 So why haven't I seen you around the office? 466 00:22:11,018 --> 00:22:13,998 Uh, he has three assistants. 467 00:22:14,004 --> 00:22:16,014 I run his errands. 468 00:22:16,008 --> 00:22:17,018 Oh, his errands. 469 00:22:19,007 --> 00:22:22,007 Is that an "errand" gift-wrapped on the bed? 470 00:22:22,022 --> 00:22:24,012 Uh... 471 00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:30,002 All right. I'm his personal shopper. 472 00:22:30,002 --> 00:22:31,012 He's a very busy man. 473 00:22:31,008 --> 00:22:33,008 I'll bet. 474 00:22:33,008 --> 00:22:36,018 Exactly how many women are you buying gifts for? 475 00:22:36,023 --> 00:22:38,003 What do you mean? 476 00:22:38,002 --> 00:22:39,022 Roger, honey, you've seen my bush... 477 00:22:39,019 --> 00:22:41,999 We're a little past acting coy. 478 00:22:42,003 --> 00:22:43,023 Since you came into the picture, 479 00:22:43,023 --> 00:22:44,023 a lot less. 480 00:22:45,001 --> 00:22:47,011 And he's never sent me to Chanel before. 481 00:22:47,011 --> 00:22:48,011 That was fun. 482 00:22:48,015 --> 00:22:49,015 Great wallet. 483 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,010 It also came in red, but I couldn't decide-- 484 00:22:51,012 --> 00:22:54,012 So Richard didn't pick out any of these gifts? 485 00:22:54,010 --> 00:22:55,020 Technically, no... 486 00:22:55,023 --> 00:22:58,013 But he really, really likes you. 487 00:22:58,013 --> 00:22:59,013 I could tell. 488 00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:01,001 Yeah, he thinks I'm the "best." 489 00:23:01,018 --> 00:23:02,018 Wait, 490 00:23:02,017 --> 00:23:03,997 the cards. 491 00:23:04,005 --> 00:23:05,005 "Style for style"? 492 00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:06,019 "Sexy for sexy"? 493 00:23:06,019 --> 00:23:07,019 Um... 494 00:23:08,016 --> 00:23:09,016 Me for you. 495 00:23:11,007 --> 00:23:12,017 Please don't have me fired. 496 00:23:12,022 --> 00:23:14,002 I'll tell you what. 497 00:23:14,004 --> 00:23:16,004 I'll pretend you don't exist... 498 00:23:16,003 --> 00:23:16,023 Thank you. 499 00:23:16,023 --> 00:23:19,013 If you do one thing for me. 500 00:23:24,008 --> 00:23:25,018 Oh, Richard! 501 00:23:26,021 --> 00:23:28,011 I thought you'd like it. 502 00:23:28,009 --> 00:23:29,009 Oh, you did? 503 00:23:30,016 --> 00:23:32,006 Oh! Oops. 504 00:23:32,011 --> 00:23:33,021 I forgot the card. 505 00:23:37,010 --> 00:23:39,020 "Gorgeous for gorgeous... 506 00:23:39,017 --> 00:23:42,007 Love, Richard." 507 00:23:52,018 --> 00:23:54,008 I love you, Samantha. 508 00:23:55,014 --> 00:23:56,024 I do. 509 00:23:56,019 --> 00:23:57,019 You do? 510 00:24:01,019 --> 00:24:02,019 And I love... 511 00:24:05,005 --> 00:24:06,995 this. 512 00:24:07,006 --> 00:24:09,006 [Carrie] Samantha could have said, "I love you," 513 00:24:09,015 --> 00:24:11,995 but she was afraid it would cost her too much. 514 00:24:12,005 --> 00:24:14,005 So she did what she did best. 515 00:24:16,013 --> 00:24:17,013 [Miranda] Okay. 516 00:24:17,011 --> 00:24:20,001 So, um, every other Saturday. 517 00:24:20,005 --> 00:24:22,005 And Wednesday at 5:00, you take him. 518 00:24:22,010 --> 00:24:25,000 I was thinking 4:57 would be better. 519 00:24:25,004 --> 00:24:26,014 You think this is stupid? 520 00:24:26,011 --> 00:24:28,011 No, I just was thinking 521 00:24:28,014 --> 00:24:31,004 that, you know, things are gonna get off schedule. 522 00:24:31,003 --> 00:24:34,023 I mean, we're talking about a kid, not a train. 523 00:24:34,023 --> 00:24:36,013 I'd offer to do that for you, 524 00:24:36,015 --> 00:24:39,005 but I don't think that it's in the contract, so... 525 00:24:39,010 --> 00:24:41,000 Don't give me a hard time. 526 00:24:41,005 --> 00:24:43,015 I could fart you into oblivion right now. 527 00:24:47,003 --> 00:24:51,023 Oh! Oh, that feels so great. 528 00:24:52,010 --> 00:24:53,010 Thanks. 529 00:24:56,016 --> 00:24:58,006 Steve, am I ugly? 530 00:24:58,008 --> 00:24:59,008 What? 531 00:25:00,023 --> 00:25:02,013 No. 532 00:25:02,011 --> 00:25:04,001 You got that glow. 533 00:25:04,002 --> 00:25:06,012 But would you want to have sex with me? 534 00:25:06,012 --> 00:25:08,022 What are you talking about? 535 00:25:08,020 --> 00:25:09,020 You're pregnant. 536 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,010 Yeah, and another charming side effect, 537 00:25:13,010 --> 00:25:15,010 aside from flatulence and bloating 538 00:25:15,012 --> 00:25:18,012 is all I can think about is sex. 539 00:25:18,011 --> 00:25:20,011 And who would want to have sex with me? 540 00:25:22,006 --> 00:25:25,006 I'd like to have sex with you, but... 541 00:25:25,014 --> 00:25:28,004 I'm pretty sure that it's not allowed. 542 00:25:28,005 --> 00:25:30,015 I've read section B14 of the contract 543 00:25:30,022 --> 00:25:32,002 and... 544 00:25:33,004 --> 00:25:35,014 it said nothing about sex. 545 00:25:35,014 --> 00:25:37,004 Fuck the contract. 546 00:25:39,002 --> 00:25:40,022 And please fuck me. 547 00:25:47,013 --> 00:25:49,013 -Ouch. -What? 548 00:25:49,008 --> 00:25:50,008 You're squishing me a little bit. 549 00:25:50,014 --> 00:25:51,024 -Sorry. -No. 550 00:25:52,001 --> 00:25:56,021 [Carrie] That night, Steve gave Miranda multiple orgasms. 551 00:25:56,021 --> 00:25:58,001 For what it's worth. 552 00:25:58,004 --> 00:26:00,014 Just to be clear, 553 00:26:00,008 --> 00:26:01,998 this doesn't mean we're a couple. 554 00:26:02,006 --> 00:26:03,016 This is a mercy fuck. 555 00:26:12,020 --> 00:26:14,020 I'm sorry about the other day. 556 00:26:15,001 --> 00:26:17,011 And I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. 557 00:26:17,008 --> 00:26:18,008 You were right. 558 00:26:18,008 --> 00:26:19,008 I haven't wanted to let go 559 00:26:19,010 --> 00:26:20,020 of being Mrs. Trey MacDougal. 560 00:26:20,017 --> 00:26:23,017 Well, I think that you are coping amazingly well. 561 00:26:25,001 --> 00:26:27,001 I'm just scared. 562 00:26:27,002 --> 00:26:28,012 I know. 563 00:26:29,012 --> 00:26:30,022 Me, too. 564 00:26:30,019 --> 00:26:31,019 Wow. 565 00:26:33,002 --> 00:26:34,012 We're alone again. 566 00:26:34,014 --> 00:26:36,004 Yeah. 567 00:26:48,005 --> 00:26:49,995 I want you to take the ring for your down payment. 568 00:26:50,006 --> 00:26:51,006 Oh, no. 569 00:26:51,009 --> 00:26:52,019 No, I can't, I can't. 570 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,000 You love this ring. 571 00:26:54,002 --> 00:26:55,012 No. 572 00:26:55,007 --> 00:26:57,007 I loved what the ring represented. 573 00:26:57,008 --> 00:26:58,008 No, Charlotte, I think you're right. 574 00:26:58,016 --> 00:27:00,006 It would make things too complicated, it's-- 575 00:27:00,007 --> 00:27:02,997 Carrie, this is a straightforward business proposal. 576 00:27:03,002 --> 00:27:04,012 Clean and simple. 577 00:27:04,013 --> 00:27:07,013 Why do I have all this money if I can't help out a friend? 578 00:27:07,010 --> 00:27:08,020 But it would be a loan. 579 00:27:08,019 --> 00:27:09,019 I would pay you back. 580 00:27:09,019 --> 00:27:11,009 I know. 581 00:27:11,012 --> 00:27:15,012 I want you to think really carefully about this. 582 00:27:15,016 --> 00:27:16,016 I have. 583 00:27:16,022 --> 00:27:18,002 Will you be comfortable knowing 584 00:27:18,005 --> 00:27:19,005 that it will take me time 585 00:27:19,013 --> 00:27:20,013 to pay you back? 586 00:27:20,012 --> 00:27:22,002 Yes, I will. 587 00:27:30,022 --> 00:27:33,012 I really appreciate this. 588 00:27:33,008 --> 00:27:35,018 And I'll pay you back, you know that, right? 589 00:27:35,023 --> 00:27:37,013 I do. 590 00:27:37,021 --> 00:27:39,011 It's okay. 591 00:27:39,009 --> 00:27:40,019 I trust you. 592 00:27:40,023 --> 00:27:42,023 Will you take the ring? 593 00:27:44,019 --> 00:27:45,019 I will. 594 00:27:46,014 --> 00:27:48,014 Thank you. 595 00:27:48,013 --> 00:27:51,013 Charlotte had taken her painful past 596 00:27:51,007 --> 00:27:53,017 and turned it into my hopeful future. 597 00:27:53,018 --> 00:27:54,018 And that made the ring... 598 00:27:54,021 --> 00:27:56,001 priceless. 599 00:27:56,006 --> 00:27:57,006 Oh! 600 00:27:57,011 --> 00:27:59,021 I start work at the museum next week. 601 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,010 [Carrie] Ooh, that's great! 602 00:28:01,008 --> 00:28:02,018 Oh, guess what? 603 00:28:02,018 --> 00:28:06,998 I got Vogue up to $4.50 a word. 604 00:28:10,012 --> 00:28:11,022 I fixed the toilet. 605 00:28:11,022 --> 00:28:14,002 And I should be done with this by the end of the afternoon. 606 00:28:14,006 --> 00:28:16,006 Okay, great. Thank you. 607 00:28:19,017 --> 00:28:20,017 It wasn't quite as easy as 608 00:28:20,021 --> 00:28:23,021 clicking my Manolo Blahniks three times. 609 00:28:23,019 --> 00:28:25,019 But it was worth it. 610 00:28:25,019 --> 00:28:26,999 I was home.