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00:00:58,417 --> 00:01:00,037
When a marriage
breaks up,
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00:01:00,125 --> 00:01:01,915
there are numerous ways
to cope.
3
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,170
You can cry.
4
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:04,380
You can move.
5
00:01:04,458 --> 00:01:06,578
It's left-right, not right-left.
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Or, as Charlotte did,
dive into a new routine.
7
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A tap routine.
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00:01:13,250 --> 00:01:14,500
I feel good.
9
00:01:14,583 --> 00:01:17,383
I even signed up
for sculpture
and tap-dancing class.
10
00:01:17,458 --> 00:01:19,248
Because Lord knows,
you can't do one
without the other.
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And everyone
keeps telling me
to take time to grieve.
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I don't need time.
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This divorce is going
to be clean and swift,
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like pulling off a Band-Aid.
Shhht!
15
00:01:27,875 --> 00:01:29,245
Carrie?
16
00:01:29,333 --> 00:01:32,083
Oh, my God,
I thought that was you.
17
00:01:32,166 --> 00:01:35,496
There it was,
the unmistakable voice
of Susan Sharon.
18
00:01:35,583 --> 00:01:37,003
So what's new?
What's going on with you?
19
00:01:37,083 --> 00:01:38,423
Oh, you know,
same old, same old.
20
00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:41,250
Just writing,
gallivanting, eating.
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00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:42,293
You know, the usual.
22
00:01:42,375 --> 00:01:43,745
-Carrie!
-What?
23
00:01:43,834 --> 00:01:46,004
You're forgetting
the most important thing.
24
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,750
Oh! Yeah, jeez.
25
00:01:49,834 --> 00:01:52,254
-I, I, I'm, I am engaged.
-They're engaged!
26
00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:53,543
You're getting married!
27
00:01:53,625 --> 00:01:55,165
-Yeah.
-Oh, my God!
28
00:01:55,250 --> 00:01:57,830
Oh, Aidan.
Oh, mazel tov!
29
00:01:57,917 --> 00:01:59,247
Oh, okay.
30
00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:00,793
Let me see, let me see,
where's the--?
31
00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:04,785
Oh, it's, it's here, here,
it's right here. See?
32
00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:05,745
Oh!
33
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:07,174
Why are you wearing it
around your neck?
34
00:02:07,250 --> 00:02:09,000
Is that what the people
are doing these days?
35
00:02:09,083 --> 00:02:10,003
I'm so out of it.
36
00:02:10,083 --> 00:02:12,333
No, no, it's just me.
37
00:02:12,417 --> 00:02:14,707
It's closer
to my heart this way.
38
00:02:15,250 --> 00:02:18,130
Ah! Ah!
39
00:02:18,208 --> 00:02:20,078
So, a spring wedding?
40
00:02:20,166 --> 00:02:22,126
Fall wedding?
Where are you doing it?
41
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:26,128
Oh, God, we haven't even begun
to think about that stuff.
42
00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:27,878
Oh, well, you'd better
chop-chop, missy.
43
00:02:27,959 --> 00:02:29,999
Because these places book up,
I'm telling you,
44
00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,963
years and years!
45
00:02:32,041 --> 00:02:34,131
Okay, anyway, the wedding...
46
00:02:34,208 --> 00:02:37,788
The next morning,
a hotel mogul and his publicist
47
00:02:37,875 --> 00:02:40,415
began another
grueling day at work.
48
00:02:42,041 --> 00:02:43,131
Can I help you?
49
00:02:43,208 --> 00:02:44,628
You're gorgeous.
50
00:02:44,709 --> 00:02:46,459
Tell me something I don't know.
51
00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:49,042
As intimate as their
personal affair had become,
52
00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:51,075
when it came
to their business affairs,
53
00:02:51,166 --> 00:02:54,036
Samantha remained
cool and professional.
54
00:02:58,959 --> 00:03:00,039
In theory.
55
00:03:00,125 --> 00:03:02,495
-J.J. Mitchell.
56
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:03,833
J.J., Samantha Jones.
57
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,627
I have your column in my hand
58
00:03:05,709 --> 00:03:07,169
and I'm very disappointed.
59
00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:09,830
Jonesy. I thought you'd
be sucking my dick
60
00:03:09,917 --> 00:03:12,327
for finally getting
Richard Wright's
name in the paper.
61
00:03:12,417 --> 00:03:13,827
We'll talk about
your dick in a second.
62
00:03:13,917 --> 00:03:16,037
Richard Wright "canoodling"
with Bebe London?
63
00:03:16,125 --> 00:03:16,995
That's bullshit.
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00:03:17,083 --> 00:03:17,833
I happen to know
65
00:03:17,917 --> 00:03:19,167
he's canoodling with one woman,
66
00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:20,380
and it's not Bebe London.
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00:03:20,458 --> 00:03:22,498
Uh, okay, guess which
hot-headed publicist
68
00:03:22,583 --> 00:03:24,463
can't seem
to keep track of her own client?
69
00:03:24,542 --> 00:03:26,042
Guess which
two-bit gossip columnist
70
00:03:26,125 --> 00:03:27,875
-is talking out of his ass?
71
00:03:27,959 --> 00:03:30,919
Hey, believe me, I'd rather be
talking out of your ass, Jonesy.
72
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,710
So just say the word--
73
00:03:33,750 --> 00:03:35,880
Jonesy?
74
00:03:35,959 --> 00:03:39,079
J.J. Mitchell's column
said you were "canoodling"
with Bebe London.
75
00:03:39,166 --> 00:03:41,326
He's an idiot.
Just giving you a heads-up.
76
00:03:41,417 --> 00:03:44,377
Well, hey, all press
is good press, right?
77
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:46,578
So you were canoodling
with Bebe London?
78
00:03:46,667 --> 00:03:48,577
Is that a problem?
79
00:03:49,625 --> 00:03:52,955
No. I just need
to get all the facts,
80
00:03:53,041 --> 00:03:54,711
so I can do my job.
81
00:03:54,792 --> 00:03:56,292
Why don't you
take a break from your job
82
00:03:56,375 --> 00:03:58,285
and get that sexy ass in here?
83
00:04:09,792 --> 00:04:11,422
In an effort
to drown out thoughts
84
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:14,250
of Richard canoodling
with Bebe London,
85
00:04:14,333 --> 00:04:17,793
Samantha focused
on her own canoodle.
86
00:04:17,875 --> 00:04:20,995
And in a more modest
shower uptown...
87
00:04:23,667 --> 00:04:25,917
-Excuse me, have we met?
-Can I get in there?
88
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,000
I've got the sheetrock guy
coming in ten minutes.
89
00:04:28,083 --> 00:04:29,383
It's really coming along
over there.
90
00:04:29,458 --> 00:04:30,288
Yeah?
91
00:04:30,375 --> 00:04:32,035
Walls are comin' down.
92
00:04:32,125 --> 00:04:33,375
Washer and dryer's on the way.
93
00:04:33,458 --> 00:04:34,998
Oh!
94
00:04:35,083 --> 00:04:36,753
I forgot about
the washer and dryer.
95
00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:39,214
I have been dreaming of that
my whole New York life.
96
00:04:39,291 --> 00:04:41,081
Here's something else
for you to chew on.
97
00:04:41,166 --> 00:04:42,786
What's that?
98
00:04:42,875 --> 00:04:43,875
How about Hawaii?
99
00:04:43,959 --> 00:04:45,579
As what, the 50th state?
100
00:04:45,667 --> 00:04:47,037
As in, we get hitched.
101
00:04:47,125 --> 00:04:49,915
We'll grab a couple friends,
down some mai tais,
102
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,250
tie the knot.
103
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,673
You know, we can get "maui'd."
104
00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:55,750
Hey, buddy, did you
just pun in the nude?
105
00:04:55,834 --> 00:04:56,794
Yeah.
106
00:04:56,875 --> 00:04:59,455
What did I tell you about that?
107
00:04:59,542 --> 00:05:00,632
Give me the soap.
108
00:05:00,709 --> 00:05:01,919
What do you think?
109
00:05:03,166 --> 00:05:05,376
-What, about Hawaii?
-Yeah.
110
00:05:05,458 --> 00:05:10,628
C'mon, do I look like
the "hang ten, surf's up"
kind of bride to you?
111
00:05:10,709 --> 00:05:13,789
'Cause I really think
my grass skirt days are over.
112
00:05:13,875 --> 00:05:15,785
Okay, how about Aspen?
113
00:05:15,875 --> 00:05:18,245
Christmastime in Aspen.
114
00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:20,883
You, me, a polar bear, a judge.
115
00:05:20,959 --> 00:05:22,329
How's that sound?
116
00:05:23,667 --> 00:05:25,997
For a shower
with so little water pressure,
117
00:05:26,083 --> 00:05:29,713
I suddenly felt a ton of it
beating down on my shoulders.
118
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:35,543
And here's
the spine, right here.
119
00:05:35,625 --> 00:05:36,745
Isn't that incredible?
120
00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:38,424
Oh, here's the heart beating...
121
00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:42,503
See?
122
00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:43,463
Kind of.
123
00:05:43,542 --> 00:05:45,462
I think so.
124
00:05:45,542 --> 00:05:48,292
Okay, do you want
to know the sex?
125
00:05:48,375 --> 00:05:50,285
I can tell you right now,
if you do.
126
00:05:50,375 --> 00:05:53,205
Um... okay.
127
00:05:53,291 --> 00:05:54,381
Sure?
128
00:05:56,625 --> 00:05:58,875
Ah! It's a boy.
129
00:06:00,667 --> 00:06:03,207
It's a boy!
How do you feel?
130
00:06:07,291 --> 00:06:08,251
Wow!
131
00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:10,503
Great, a boy!
132
00:06:10,583 --> 00:06:12,753
Boy, oh, boy.
133
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,923
I just faked a sonogram.
134
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,540
-I'm sorry?
-I was lying there.
135
00:06:19,625 --> 00:06:22,285
The technician's giving me
a guided tour of my uterus.
136
00:06:23,375 --> 00:06:24,785
Then she tells me
I'm having a boy.
137
00:06:24,875 --> 00:06:28,035
-And I just--
-Oh, my God, Miranda!
138
00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:29,455
You're having a boy?
139
00:06:29,542 --> 00:06:30,542
You see, that.
140
00:06:30,625 --> 00:06:32,165
That's what this woman
wanted out of me.
141
00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:35,040
But I couldn't get it up
for her, so I faked it.
142
00:06:35,125 --> 00:06:37,625
What exactly does
a faked sonogram look like,
143
00:06:37,709 --> 00:06:39,419
in case I ever need to do it?
144
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,040
Oh!
145
00:06:42,125 --> 00:06:45,455
Everyone else
is glowing about my pregnancy.
When will I?
146
00:06:45,542 --> 00:06:48,042
Yeah, I get the same thing every
time someone hears I'm engaged.
147
00:06:48,125 --> 00:06:49,455
They're like--
148
00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:52,042
You know, I'm supposed to get
all excited about picking a date
149
00:06:52,125 --> 00:06:53,415
and a place, and a theme.
150
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:56,540
And I just want to lie down
and take a big nap.
151
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:58,075
I feel like a deadbeat bride.
152
00:06:58,166 --> 00:07:00,076
So don't do all that
stupid stuff.
153
00:07:00,166 --> 00:07:00,996
Fuck 'em.
154
00:07:01,083 --> 00:07:02,423
Well, I better do something soon
155
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,250
because I am getting
the distinct feeling
156
00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:07,883
my grace period is O-V-E-R.
157
00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:10,249
I don't even want
to look for a dress.
158
00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:11,963
Me! No dress.
159
00:07:12,041 --> 00:07:13,251
What's wrong here?
160
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,173
Maybe it's like the dentist.
161
00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:17,210
You put it off, and put it off,
162
00:07:17,291 --> 00:07:20,291
and then, you finally go,
and afterwards, you feel great.
163
00:07:20,375 --> 00:07:22,745
Oh, my God,
I have to go to the dentist.
164
00:07:22,834 --> 00:07:26,254
Okay, wait, I'm having
a radical idea here.
165
00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:29,753
There's a horrible bridal shop
a couple of blocks away,
166
00:07:29,834 --> 00:07:30,794
we could go--
167
00:07:30,875 --> 00:07:32,415
-You--
-How do you even know this?
168
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:35,330
Because every time
I pass by it, I go "blech."
169
00:07:35,417 --> 00:07:38,167
We could run in, you could try
on the worst dress they have,
170
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,670
just face the dragon,
get it over with.
171
00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:42,420
And then I'll treat you
to a Tasti D-Lite.
172
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:44,540
It's like, uh,
aversion shock therapy.
173
00:07:44,625 --> 00:07:46,875
You want me to try on
a bad wedding dress?
174
00:07:46,959 --> 00:07:49,919
You're gonna have to do
a lot better than Tasti D-lite.
175
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:52,786
I'll try one on too?
176
00:07:52,875 --> 00:07:53,915
Woo!
177
00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:57,455
Hi!
178
00:07:57,542 --> 00:07:58,542
-Hello.
-Ladies.
179
00:07:58,625 --> 00:08:01,415
My friend Miranda here
is getting married,
180
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,790
so we're looking
for something special.
181
00:08:03,875 --> 00:08:06,285
And we're in kind of a hurry.
182
00:08:06,375 --> 00:08:08,495
And for Carrie here,
183
00:08:08,583 --> 00:08:11,633
we're thinking of something
with a lot of bows.
184
00:08:11,709 --> 00:08:13,379
Very frilly and poofy.
185
00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:15,128
We want her to look
like a giant cupcake.
186
00:08:15,208 --> 00:08:18,628
I'm sorry, which one
of you is getting married?
187
00:08:18,709 --> 00:08:20,999
Oh, we both are!
We do everything together.
188
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:23,753
Right now, Miranda has
everything but the gown...
189
00:08:23,834 --> 00:08:25,004
-And the groom.
-Whoops!
190
00:08:26,417 --> 00:08:27,167
Okay.
191
00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:28,580
Is this a lesbian wedding?
192
00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:31,667
Oh, no, no, no,
it's very straight-laced,
conservative crowd.
193
00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:33,040
Lotta Wall Street types.
194
00:08:35,083 --> 00:08:37,133
I'll see what I can find.
Come with me.
195
00:08:37,208 --> 00:08:39,668
Your rehearsal dinner
is gonna rock.
196
00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:42,750
Okay, on the count of three...
197
00:08:43,583 --> 00:08:46,423
One, two...
198
00:08:56,917 --> 00:08:58,917
Stop, I'm going
to pee in this thing.
199
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,920
-Look at you!
-Look at yourself!
200
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,500
Wait! Hold still.
You need a veil.
You need a veil.
201
00:09:03,583 --> 00:09:04,463
Okay.
202
00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:07,212
Look, look, look, look!
203
00:09:07,291 --> 00:09:08,331
Look!
204
00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:11,670
Oh, I look beautiful.
205
00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:14,040
You can't even tell
that I'm pregnant in this.
206
00:09:14,125 --> 00:09:15,665
The sleeves help
balance out the tummy.
207
00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:17,210
Don't you think
it's kind of fetching?
208
00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:19,001
-Don't you find?
-Oh, my God.
209
00:09:19,083 --> 00:09:20,503
This is too tight,
I can't breathe.
210
00:09:20,583 --> 00:09:22,213
Can you get it off,
can you get it off me?
211
00:09:22,291 --> 00:09:24,041
-Are you kidding?
-No, I'm not kidding!
212
00:09:24,125 --> 00:09:27,035
Um, okay. Shh, you don't want
the woman to come back in here.
213
00:09:27,125 --> 00:09:30,075
I'm not kidding, get it off,
I'm burning up. I can't breathe!
214
00:09:30,166 --> 00:09:31,206
Okay. I'm sorry!
215
00:09:31,291 --> 00:09:34,711
Oh, my, there are a million
buttons back here!
216
00:09:34,792 --> 00:09:36,132
Oh, my God,
your back is all red.
217
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:39,078
Just get it off, just rip,
just rip it off!
218
00:09:46,667 --> 00:09:48,287
Oh, my God.
219
00:09:49,166 --> 00:09:51,286
What just happened?
220
00:09:51,375 --> 00:09:53,035
I can't do it.
I can't get married.
221
00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:55,375
This is all your fault.
222
00:09:55,458 --> 00:09:57,458
How could you
take her to that dump?
223
00:09:57,542 --> 00:09:58,832
It was an experiment.
224
00:09:58,917 --> 00:09:59,877
It went awry.
225
00:09:59,959 --> 00:10:02,419
Okay, let's just slow down.
226
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,830
This is classic cold feet.
Let's not do anything rash.
227
00:10:04,917 --> 00:10:06,917
Rash, yes exactly, rash.
Look at this.
228
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,130
-Oh.
229
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:11,078
My body is literally rejecting
the idea of marriage.
230
00:10:11,166 --> 00:10:11,916
-Do you-- Look!
-Yeah.
231
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,420
Once you get a rash from a guy,
232
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:14,830
it's time to heave-ho.
233
00:10:14,917 --> 00:10:16,077
No, it's not him, it's me.
234
00:10:16,166 --> 00:10:17,706
I'm missing the bride gene.
235
00:10:17,792 --> 00:10:20,002
I should be put
in a test tube and studied.
236
00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:22,383
It's not just you.
I don't want to get married.
237
00:10:22,458 --> 00:10:24,328
-Ever?
238
00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:26,037
Why do we even
have to get married?
239
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:26,875
Why?
240
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,289
Give me one good reason...
241
00:10:28,375 --> 00:10:31,875
aside from the "not wanting
to die alone thing."
242
00:10:31,959 --> 00:10:33,959
Which is something
to think about, I admit.
243
00:10:34,041 --> 00:10:37,921
Well, for me, when it was good,
it gave me a sense of security.
244
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,250
But I feel secure now.
245
00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:41,833
Things are great with us.
246
00:10:41,917 --> 00:10:44,127
And you know what they say.
"If it ain't broke--"
247
00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:45,418
Don't marry it.
248
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:47,130
What are you afraid
would change?
249
00:10:47,208 --> 00:10:48,788
I don't know.
250
00:10:48,875 --> 00:10:51,165
Nothing.
Everything.
251
00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,630
Every bride feels
that way at one point.
252
00:10:53,709 --> 00:10:55,209
Well, why aren't
they speaking up?
253
00:10:55,291 --> 00:10:58,541
Carrie, I'm going to ask you
an unpleasant question now.
254
00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:00,785
Why did you ever say yes?
255
00:11:00,875 --> 00:11:02,955
Because I love him.
256
00:11:03,041 --> 00:11:04,581
A man you love
257
00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:06,917
kneels in the street
258
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,630
and offers you a ring,
259
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:10,249
you say yes, that's what you do.
260
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:12,043
Look, you get married,
you hope for the best.
261
00:11:12,125 --> 00:11:13,915
It doesn't work out,
you get divorced.
262
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,170
You can take tap
with Bojangles over here.
263
00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:19,000
No, I can't take a vow
of forever and ever
264
00:11:19,083 --> 00:11:22,253
if what I mean is
"for the foreseeable future."
265
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:23,633
I can't do that to Aidan.
266
00:11:23,709 --> 00:11:25,499
-Talk to him about it.
-How?
267
00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:27,503
How do you talk about this?
"Hey, Aidan. What's up?
268
00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:30,713
I've just been thinking,
and having some doubts
about the whole 'I do' thing."
269
00:11:30,792 --> 00:11:32,292
It'll break his heart.
270
00:11:32,375 --> 00:11:33,995
I should never have said yes.
271
00:11:34,083 --> 00:11:35,333
I'm a bad person.
272
00:11:35,417 --> 00:11:36,827
It's amazing.
273
00:11:36,917 --> 00:11:39,207
In a courtroom, reasonable doubt
can get you off for murder.
274
00:11:39,291 --> 00:11:42,331
In an engagement, it makes
you feel like a bad person.
275
00:11:42,417 --> 00:11:45,667
Look, everyone has anxiety
around weddings.
276
00:11:45,750 --> 00:11:49,000
Maybe your anxiety-threshold is
just lower than other people's.
277
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:50,713
That's an interesting theory.
You think that dress
278
00:11:50,792 --> 00:11:52,792
is still outside the dumpster
at Tasti D-Lite?
279
00:11:55,125 --> 00:11:57,375
After being hit
by a bridal wave,
280
00:11:57,458 --> 00:11:59,878
I tried to get my mind
around the concept
281
00:11:59,959 --> 00:12:01,959
of happily ever after.
282
00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:07,538
As progressive
as our society claims to be,
283
00:12:07,625 --> 00:12:09,825
there are still
certain life targets
284
00:12:09,917 --> 00:12:11,787
we're all supposed to hit.
285
00:12:11,875 --> 00:12:13,955
Marriage, babies,
286
00:12:14,041 --> 00:12:15,581
and a home to call your own.
287
00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:17,707
But what if instead
of breaking out in a smile,
288
00:12:17,792 --> 00:12:19,172
you break out in a rash?
289
00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:21,290
Is something wrong
with the system?
290
00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:22,375
Or is it you?
291
00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:25,038
And do we really
want these things?
292
00:12:25,125 --> 00:12:28,665
Or are we just programmed?
293
00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:32,710
In a crisis, people always
tell you to listen to your gut.
294
00:12:32,792 --> 00:12:35,672
Mine was telling me
to start smoking again.
295
00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:36,580
Hi.
296
00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:39,457
Uh, Marlboro Lights, please.
297
00:12:43,917 --> 00:12:45,917
But I decided not
to throw it all away.
298
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,170
You know what?
Actually, actually...
299
00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:51,207
just these.
300
00:12:51,291 --> 00:12:54,001
Later, while Aidan worked
on the apartment next door,
301
00:12:54,083 --> 00:12:56,673
I worked
on reprogramming my attitude.
302
00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:58,920
Could I be a spring bride?
303
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:03,333
Happy bride?
304
00:13:06,417 --> 00:13:07,417
Peek-a-boo bride?
305
00:13:08,583 --> 00:13:10,003
Stop!
306
00:13:10,834 --> 00:13:12,424
Stop, Aidan, stop it!
307
00:13:18,750 --> 00:13:21,540
Aidan!
308
00:13:23,542 --> 00:13:25,252
I'm freaking out.
309
00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:26,883
-I can't, I--
310
00:13:27,709 --> 00:13:29,459
I cannot. I, I--
311
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:30,962
I am having a...
312
00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:33,791
a very strong reaction
to all this...
313
00:13:33,875 --> 00:13:35,035
-change.
-Okay, okay.
314
00:13:35,125 --> 00:13:36,325
-I can't.
-Just... don't freak out.
315
00:13:36,417 --> 00:13:37,707
I am freaking out.
316
00:13:37,792 --> 00:13:39,462
It all just feels really fast.
317
00:13:39,542 --> 00:13:41,962
The hole? I...
I told you I was gonna
come through there today.
318
00:13:42,041 --> 00:13:43,501
It's not just the hole!
319
00:13:47,041 --> 00:13:48,381
What?
320
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,790
It's the marriage stuff.
321
00:13:58,709 --> 00:14:00,459
I love you, and I'm sorry...
322
00:14:00,542 --> 00:14:03,252
if I'm not supposed
to talk to you about this,
323
00:14:03,917 --> 00:14:04,917
but...
324
00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:07,833
But I have to.
325
00:14:07,917 --> 00:14:12,167
Hey, hey, c'mere.
326
00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:13,960
Just sit down on the floor.
327
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:23,580
What's happening?
328
00:14:28,417 --> 00:14:31,037
I didn't want to say anything,
329
00:14:31,125 --> 00:14:33,875
but then that thing
came through my wall.
330
00:14:39,959 --> 00:14:42,999
I don't think that
I'm ready to get married yet.
331
00:14:46,166 --> 00:14:47,536
Do you hate me?
332
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,745
No, come on.
333
00:14:49,834 --> 00:14:51,924
You're catching me
a little off guard here.
334
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,380
I know. I just--
335
00:14:53,458 --> 00:14:57,288
No, it's-- Hey, I hear you.
I hear you.
336
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:04,630
I need a minute here.
337
00:15:10,333 --> 00:15:13,333
Is it because I said
we could get "maui'd"?
338
00:15:15,542 --> 00:15:16,502
Huh?
339
00:15:19,417 --> 00:15:21,377
Thank you for making a joke.
340
00:15:24,417 --> 00:15:25,827
Let's slow it down.
341
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:29,460
Okay? How much time do you need?
342
00:15:31,166 --> 00:15:32,376
Six months?
343
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,000
Nine months?
344
00:15:38,542 --> 00:15:39,712
End of the year?
345
00:15:39,792 --> 00:15:41,172
Which year?
346
00:15:44,083 --> 00:15:46,133
So do you just need some time?
347
00:15:47,542 --> 00:15:48,502
Yeah.
348
00:15:49,125 --> 00:15:50,455
I think so.
349
00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:53,786
Okay, okay.
350
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,291
We'll get there.
351
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,540
Thank you, Aidan.
352
00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:04,038
Thank you for listening.
353
00:16:08,291 --> 00:16:10,421
Did you see
the washer and dryer out there?
354
00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:15,210
Hmm?
355
00:16:17,542 --> 00:16:18,672
I love you.
356
00:16:22,041 --> 00:16:25,171
The next day, Miranda enjoyed
a few moments of solitude
357
00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:26,290
with her bills.
358
00:16:26,375 --> 00:16:27,785
And her cleaning lady.
359
00:16:27,875 --> 00:16:28,915
Magda?
360
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,830
I'm going to pay you
for a whole month, okay?
361
00:16:31,917 --> 00:16:33,787
Oh!
362
00:16:33,875 --> 00:16:36,455
Look what I found
on the kitchen counter.
363
00:16:36,542 --> 00:16:38,382
It's beautiful!
364
00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:40,288
Did they tell you, boy or girl?
365
00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:42,165
Yes, it's a boy.
366
00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:47,673
A boy!
367
00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:49,170
A boy is coming into the house!
368
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:52,080
A boy is highest blessing.
It's good luck.
369
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:58,420
Smile.
370
00:16:59,917 --> 00:17:01,747
Smile for a boy!
371
00:17:03,041 --> 00:17:06,211
A boy!
372
00:17:11,458 --> 00:17:12,628
Oh!
373
00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:18,745
And while Miranda
had tea for one,
374
00:17:18,834 --> 00:17:20,834
Charlotte was
mastering "Tea for Two."
375
00:17:20,917 --> 00:17:23,877
We're coming across
the floor with me.
376
00:17:25,458 --> 00:17:29,918
Step, shuffle, step for you.
Step, shuffle, step for me.
377
00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:34,883
And now, two by two.
378
00:17:34,959 --> 00:17:35,919
Go!
379
00:17:38,875 --> 00:17:39,955
Next pair.
380
00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:42,960
Nice!
381
00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:48,748
Very nice.
382
00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:54,040
You, in the flowers...
383
00:17:54,125 --> 00:17:55,205
Go!
384
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:57,291
I don't have a partner.
385
00:17:57,375 --> 00:17:58,625
Just go it alone.
386
00:17:58,709 --> 00:18:00,379
And go!
387
00:18:00,458 --> 00:18:01,958
I don't want to go it alone.
388
00:18:02,041 --> 00:18:03,171
You'll be fine.
389
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,000
Come on, flowers.
390
00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:09,673
♪ Picture me upon your knee ♪
391
00:18:11,208 --> 00:18:13,578
I can't do this.
I'm sorry, I can't.
392
00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:16,077
And I shouldn't have to.
I deserve a real partner.
393
00:18:16,166 --> 00:18:19,246
And this song
is abusive and hurtful.
394
00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:20,963
Should I stop?
395
00:18:21,041 --> 00:18:23,581
And you should think about
how a person would feel
396
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:25,327
who's going through
a very difficult divorce.
397
00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:27,037
And who just comes here
to have fun
398
00:18:27,125 --> 00:18:29,375
and feel good about themselves!
399
00:18:34,667 --> 00:18:37,577
In her attempt
to skip over her grief,
400
00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:39,997
Charlotte tapped into her pain.
401
00:18:47,083 --> 00:18:49,463
The next week,
we all put on our finest
402
00:18:49,542 --> 00:18:51,632
and gathered at
the Black and White Ball,
403
00:18:51,709 --> 00:18:53,789
Richard Wright's
charity fundraiser.
404
00:18:55,375 --> 00:18:56,535
Thank you.
405
00:18:56,625 --> 00:18:59,075
Aidan looks so handsome
in a tux.
406
00:18:59,166 --> 00:19:00,036
Yeah.
407
00:19:00,125 --> 00:19:01,375
How's he doing?
408
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,961
He's good. Good.
409
00:19:04,041 --> 00:19:06,541
Still a little thrown
by the change in plans,
410
00:19:06,625 --> 00:19:08,825
but good.
411
00:19:08,917 --> 00:19:10,827
I just hope
I did the right thing.
412
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,127
You followed your feelings.
413
00:19:12,208 --> 00:19:13,998
That's always
the right thing to do.
414
00:19:15,834 --> 00:19:17,584
I'm drinking seltzer.
415
00:19:17,667 --> 00:19:20,207
And I'm in a formal gown
with an elasto-waist.
416
00:19:20,291 --> 00:19:22,171
-I really fit in here.
417
00:19:22,250 --> 00:19:27,420
Do you realize you're growing
a teeny tiny penis inside you?
418
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,670
That's so sci-fi.
419
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,420
Oh, my God, Miranda!
420
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:31,670
You're having a boy?
421
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:34,250
Oh! Are you so excited?
422
00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:40,213
Two glasses of French fizz here
and a sodey for you.
423
00:19:40,291 --> 00:19:43,251
Aidan, did you know
that Miranda's having a boy?
424
00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:47,582
I think I'm going
to hurt myself.
425
00:19:47,667 --> 00:19:49,457
I trust you're finding
something noteworthy
426
00:19:49,542 --> 00:19:51,002
to put in your column, J.J.?
427
00:19:51,083 --> 00:19:53,293
Oh. Look at you.
428
00:19:53,375 --> 00:19:54,535
I can think of
a few other places
429
00:19:54,625 --> 00:19:56,165
I'd like to put
my column tonight.
430
00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:57,420
Dream on, J.J.
431
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:58,670
Never hurts to ask, right?
432
00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:00,130
Okay. Well, I'm sure
you know this one,
433
00:20:00,208 --> 00:20:01,958
but guess which hotel king
434
00:20:02,041 --> 00:20:03,711
is having very private relations
435
00:20:03,792 --> 00:20:05,502
with a very public
New York woman?
436
00:20:05,583 --> 00:20:08,003
Oh, I guess the cat's
out of the bag.
437
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:09,713
Oh, it's out of the bag.
438
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:11,132
Look at them together.
439
00:20:13,125 --> 00:20:15,285
Judith McVain, she's insatiable.
440
00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:18,455
Word is they've done it
in every one of his hotels.
441
00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:21,080
Excuse me.
442
00:20:22,458 --> 00:20:23,668
Good chatting with you, Jonesy.
443
00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:25,210
Samantha could
handle the press,
444
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:26,671
but she couldn't
handle the truth.
445
00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:29,290
That fucking Richard is fucking
the entire styles section.
446
00:20:29,375 --> 00:20:30,665
And for the first time
in my life,
447
00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:32,250
I actually give a shit.
448
00:20:33,125 --> 00:20:34,455
I think I have monogamy.
449
00:20:34,542 --> 00:20:36,252
I must've caught it
from you people.
450
00:20:36,333 --> 00:20:37,253
Now it's airborne.
451
00:20:37,333 --> 00:20:38,543
There are a lot
of hot guys here,
452
00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:40,535
but I don't want to fuck
a single one of them.
453
00:20:40,625 --> 00:20:41,785
Not him...
454
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:43,325
Or him.
455
00:20:43,417 --> 00:20:44,577
What about this guy over here?
456
00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:45,827
'Cause he asked me
if I knew you.
457
00:20:45,917 --> 00:20:48,127
-Who?
-This guy right there...
458
00:20:49,667 --> 00:20:51,497
No, I'm not interested.
459
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,213
Damnit, I'm not well.
460
00:20:53,291 --> 00:20:54,961
Well, at least you're
not getting divorced.
461
00:20:55,041 --> 00:20:56,751
Why don't you just
tell Richard how you feel?
462
00:20:56,834 --> 00:20:57,924
I can't do that!
463
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,830
He likes me because I'm supposed
to be immune
464
00:20:59,917 --> 00:21:02,077
to this bullshit.
465
00:21:02,166 --> 00:21:04,076
There goes that
Judith Bitchy-McBitch
466
00:21:04,166 --> 00:21:05,496
heading for Richard.
467
00:21:05,583 --> 00:21:07,753
Okay, I'm going
to go over there,
468
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,584
and I'm going
to be completely calm
469
00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:12,327
and completely professional.
470
00:21:12,417 --> 00:21:15,497
Every day, millions
of people suffer from monogamy.
471
00:21:15,583 --> 00:21:16,793
There is no known cure.
472
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:19,495
-Ahh!
-Oh, I'm so sorry.
473
00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:24,250
Hey, gorgeous. Great turnout.
474
00:21:24,333 --> 00:21:27,083
-This is purely professional.
475
00:21:27,166 --> 00:21:29,246
Exactly how many women
are you fucking?
476
00:21:29,333 --> 00:21:32,293
It's the Black and White Ball,
not the "black and blue ball."
477
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,880
As your publicist,
I must tell you,
478
00:21:35,959 --> 00:21:37,629
all this canoodling
and bed-hopping
479
00:21:37,709 --> 00:21:39,039
is tacky and immature.
480
00:21:39,125 --> 00:21:41,205
It makes investors nervous,
and frankly--
481
00:21:41,291 --> 00:21:42,961
It makes you nervous, too.
482
00:21:43,041 --> 00:21:45,921
As your publicist, yes, it does.
483
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,250
So grow up.
484
00:21:47,333 --> 00:21:48,673
Stop fucking other women.
485
00:21:48,750 --> 00:21:49,880
Just fuck me.
486
00:21:51,250 --> 00:21:55,080
C'mon, we're not
the monotonous--
487
00:21:55,166 --> 00:21:56,626
I mean, monogamous type.
488
00:21:56,709 --> 00:21:58,079
Well, maybe I am.
489
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:01,580
Well, gorgeous, I'm not.
490
00:22:03,750 --> 00:22:04,710
Fine.
491
00:22:06,125 --> 00:22:08,245
Hey, Jonesy,
you get any good dish for me?
492
00:22:08,333 --> 00:22:10,463
In fact, she did.
493
00:22:10,542 --> 00:22:13,002
Samantha gave J.J.
an exclusive,
494
00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:17,003
just to prove to herself
that she was not.
495
00:22:17,083 --> 00:22:17,963
What the--?
496
00:22:18,041 --> 00:22:19,501
Shit.
497
00:22:19,583 --> 00:22:20,583
Shit!
498
00:22:20,667 --> 00:22:21,667
Wait. Just a minute.
499
00:22:21,750 --> 00:22:22,960
It wasn't
the first time
500
00:22:23,041 --> 00:22:24,501
a guy went soft on Samantha,
501
00:22:24,583 --> 00:22:27,583
but it was the first time
she didn't care.
502
00:22:27,667 --> 00:22:30,377
Aw, Jonesy, I can't believe
this is happening.
503
00:22:30,458 --> 00:22:31,668
This never happens to me.
504
00:22:31,750 --> 00:22:32,830
I can give you a list of women
505
00:22:32,917 --> 00:22:33,957
who this has never
happened with.
506
00:22:34,041 --> 00:22:36,631
-That won't be necessary.
No, I want to.
507
00:22:36,709 --> 00:22:39,789
I want you to
call Anna Bonnie at 957-7297.
508
00:22:39,875 --> 00:22:42,875
Or Lisa Yellen at 459--
509
00:22:42,959 --> 00:22:44,079
There you are.
510
00:22:44,166 --> 00:22:47,786
Listen, maybe I was
too quick back there.
511
00:22:47,875 --> 00:22:50,665
If there's anyone who could
keep monotony interesting...
512
00:22:50,750 --> 00:22:52,130
Hey, man of the hour.
513
00:22:54,417 --> 00:22:55,497
Samantha...
514
00:22:57,333 --> 00:22:58,793
You'll never change...
515
00:22:59,917 --> 00:23:01,327
and I wouldn't want you to.
516
00:23:01,417 --> 00:23:02,997
Let's just keep things
as they were.
517
00:23:03,083 --> 00:23:03,923
This doesn't count.
518
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,290
He couldn't even stay hard.
519
00:23:05,375 --> 00:23:06,575
Hey!
520
00:23:06,667 --> 00:23:08,327
Good seeing you, J.J.
521
00:23:11,792 --> 00:23:13,582
Don't say it, limp dick.
522
00:23:13,667 --> 00:23:14,787
Okay.
523
00:23:19,625 --> 00:23:22,455
That's a very good look for you.
524
00:23:22,542 --> 00:23:24,962
I think we both look
kinda sharp tonight.
525
00:23:26,291 --> 00:23:28,381
You've never looked prettier,
my friend.
526
00:23:28,458 --> 00:23:29,458
Thank you.
527
00:23:30,583 --> 00:23:32,213
Let's get married tonight.
528
00:23:32,291 --> 00:23:33,421
Ha-ha.
529
00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:37,040
Come on, you've got this
beautiful white dress on.
530
00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:39,825
I've got this tux
for another 13 hours.
531
00:23:41,667 --> 00:23:42,827
Let's just do it.
532
00:23:43,667 --> 00:23:45,417
Let's get in a cab,
533
00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:49,170
airport, Vegas, huh?
534
00:23:49,250 --> 00:23:51,420
No muss, no fuss.
535
00:23:51,500 --> 00:23:54,130
-Aidan, this isn't funny.
-Seriously.
536
00:23:54,208 --> 00:23:55,328
Come on!
537
00:23:55,417 --> 00:23:59,497
I mean, look,
if we get married tonight,
538
00:24:00,458 --> 00:24:02,498
we wake up tomorrow, it's done.
539
00:24:03,709 --> 00:24:06,289
All right? We're still us.
We don't...
540
00:24:06,375 --> 00:24:08,825
we don't even have
to tell anybody.
541
00:24:08,917 --> 00:24:12,827
Well... what about
what we discussed?
542
00:24:12,917 --> 00:24:14,207
Ah, c'mon.
543
00:24:14,291 --> 00:24:15,331
You're just scared.
544
00:24:15,417 --> 00:24:17,327
Yes, I'm scared.
545
00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:20,915
Come on, Aidan,
we talked about this.
546
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,580
No, you talked, and I listened.
547
00:24:23,667 --> 00:24:27,827
Carrie, I looked at you tonight
from across the room, and...
548
00:24:27,917 --> 00:24:30,247
and I thought, I love her...
549
00:24:30,333 --> 00:24:32,133
and she loves me, and...
550
00:24:32,208 --> 00:24:33,668
what are we waiting for?
551
00:24:33,750 --> 00:24:36,330
Because I need more time.
552
00:24:36,417 --> 00:24:38,247
What's going to change?
553
00:24:38,333 --> 00:24:39,543
This is me.
554
00:24:39,625 --> 00:24:41,375
I don't have any tricks
up my sleeve.
555
00:24:41,458 --> 00:24:42,668
This is who I am.
556
00:24:42,750 --> 00:24:45,000
This isn't about you.
557
00:24:45,083 --> 00:24:47,503
I'm not ready for marriage.
558
00:24:47,583 --> 00:24:49,333
Well, I am.
559
00:24:49,417 --> 00:24:51,577
I'm sorry if that
scares you, but I am.
560
00:24:51,667 --> 00:24:55,037
People fall in love,
they get married.
561
00:24:55,125 --> 00:24:56,625
That's what they do.
562
00:24:56,709 --> 00:24:57,919
Not necessarily.
563
00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:00,376
I don't...
564
00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:04,631
Why, why can't we just...
565
00:25:04,709 --> 00:25:07,129
just keep things
the way they are,
566
00:25:07,208 --> 00:25:08,288
just live together?
567
00:25:08,375 --> 00:25:10,705
I don't want to live together.
568
00:25:10,792 --> 00:25:13,502
I've had girlfriends
for 20 years,
569
00:25:13,583 --> 00:25:15,543
I want you to be my wife.
570
00:25:15,625 --> 00:25:17,535
Aidan, you're pushing me.
571
00:25:17,625 --> 00:25:19,325
Well, maybe you need
to be pushed.
572
00:25:19,417 --> 00:25:20,417
What's the big deal?
573
00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:21,750
It's just a stupid
piece of paper.
574
00:25:21,834 --> 00:25:24,674
If it's just
a stupid piece of paper,
575
00:25:24,750 --> 00:25:26,170
then why do we need it?
576
00:25:26,250 --> 00:25:28,330
Because I need it!
577
00:25:28,417 --> 00:25:32,207
I want to make this official
and lock this thing down.
578
00:25:32,291 --> 00:25:36,291
Carrie, I want
the whole wide world
to know that you're mine.
579
00:25:36,375 --> 00:25:38,245
Who else's would I be?
580
00:25:41,709 --> 00:25:43,079
Oh, my God.
581
00:25:46,458 --> 00:25:48,168
You still don't trust me.
582
00:25:48,250 --> 00:25:50,380
You don't even wear that ring
on your fucking finger.
583
00:25:50,458 --> 00:25:51,538
I am yours.
584
00:25:51,625 --> 00:25:54,375
There is nobody else.
585
00:25:54,458 --> 00:25:58,458
I love you.
But I can't marry you
to make you trust me.
586
00:25:59,125 --> 00:26:01,785
Aidan.
587
00:26:03,417 --> 00:26:04,957
Look at me.
588
00:26:06,792 --> 00:26:10,632
Look at me before
we make a huge mistake.
589
00:26:10,709 --> 00:26:13,459
If you don't want
to marry me right now,
590
00:26:14,625 --> 00:26:16,415
you'll never want to marry me.
591
00:26:17,500 --> 00:26:18,960
That's not true.
592
00:26:19,041 --> 00:26:20,461
I think it is.
593
00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:23,790
Yeah.
594
00:26:31,834 --> 00:26:34,334
I'm gonna sleep
in the other
apartment tonight.
595
00:26:34,417 --> 00:26:35,377
Really?
596
00:26:36,667 --> 00:26:38,207
Yeah, really.
597
00:26:39,208 --> 00:26:40,788
Just for tonight?
598
00:26:42,458 --> 00:26:44,328
I can't believe
I'm back here again.
599
00:26:46,333 --> 00:26:48,293
Oh, shit.
600
00:26:58,125 --> 00:26:59,825
We had left the land
of black and white,
601
00:26:59,917 --> 00:27:03,287
and now, everything was gray.
602
00:27:03,375 --> 00:27:07,375
To the outside world,
Miranda's maternal gene
might never kick in.
603
00:27:12,166 --> 00:27:17,076
But that night,
she felt a real kick
from deep inside.
604
00:27:54,417 --> 00:27:56,877
There are some walls
you can push through,
605
00:27:56,959 --> 00:27:58,459
and some you can't.
606
00:28:04,500 --> 00:28:06,670
That was the only night
we would ever spend
607
00:28:06,750 --> 00:28:08,580
on the other side of the wall.
608
00:28:13,083 --> 00:28:16,133
The next day, Aidan moved out.