[Carrie] Life is all about making choices.
Some choices, like who you marry, are big.
While others... are even bigger.
Hey, what do you think?
The five dollar ones that last three days
or the ten dollar ones that last five days?
Either one.
Three days.
Five dollars.
[Carrie] Another choice is how to deal with an ex-boyfriend.
Some women handle it coolly, calmly, while others...
Fuck!
Steve.
-Go, go! -Oh, hey! Five dollar.
You pay! Come back here!
[mouthing]
He just looked so hurt
like a kid in one of those big-eyed velvet paintings.
-Oh, poor Steve. -Well, I'm sorry, I panicked.
What was I gonna do, stand around and chitchat about the weather?
The man has been inside me, for God's sakes.
-Could I get some more Sweet 'N Low? -[waitress] Yeah, sure.
I have never been able to be friends
with an ex-boyfriend.
I meet those couples who stay friends
and I think how? How do they do that?
I've never been able to be friends with any man. Why would I?
Women are for friendships, men are for fucking.
Honey, you have got to learn to form an opinion.
[Charlotte] Friendship is the bonus of a relationship.
If they don't want the relationship,
they don't get me as a friend.
So, what, if you don't make it as a couple,
you withhold your friendship as punishment?
Well, you make it sound so bad.
Black widow spiders bite the heads off of their mates
when they're through with them.
I think withholding friendship is letting them off easy.
Hey, can you imagine, you guys? Instead of the whole awful breaking up scene,
you're just like, "Hey, you, come here."
And you're just, argghhh!
And chomp their head off.
-[Samantha laughs] -Believe me,
I would love to be one of those people who's all,
"We loved, thank you, you enriched my life,
now, go, prosper."
But I'm much more,
"We didn't work out, you need to not exist."
What?
It's just... it's just so childish.
Not you, the whole situation.
I mean... we keep dresses we'll never wear again,
and we throw away our ex-boyfriends.
I'm not, I'm not saying that I'm any better.
I mean, I'm not, you know, I haven't been able to be friends with Big, but...
if you love someone and you break up,
where does the love go?
To their next girlfriend.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
That is a different love.
There is no way that the love that I had with Big
is the same thing that he has with Natasha.
Natasha?
When'd you stop calling her
the idiot stick figure with no soul?
About three weeks ago when I saw them at Café M.
He was holding her hand and smiling and...
I finally got it.
They're happy... slash... we're over.
And it was okay.
Natasha, what a bullshit name.
-Totally. -Stupid.
Yeah, it's complete bullshit.
Later that night, I got to thinking about the ex-factor.
In mathematics, we learned that "X" stands for the unknown.
"A" plus "B" equals "X."
But what's really unknown is...
what plus what equals friendship with an ex?
Is this an unsolvable equation?
Or is it possible to transform a once passionate love
into something that fits nice and easily
onto the friendship shelf?
I couldn't help but wonder...
Can you be friends with an ex?
That Sunday afternoon, Miranda was sitting at home
enjoying a Biscotti and the paper when...
[knocking]
There it was...
her ex's head.
[Steve] I hear you breathing.
Yeah. Uh, hi.
That was a shitty, shitty thing you did
running away from me on the street.
I didn't run.
You ran.
Well, I wasn't expecting to see you and I'm-- I--
It really hurt my feelings.
Well, I don't do very well with ex-boyfriends,
and...
Miranda, this is me.
Steve.
Yeah.
I held your head while you were sleeping.
I'm sorry.
-I'm so sorry. -It's okay, it's okay.
I just, I hadn't seen you in so long
and I missed you,
and then I did that shitty thing. [cries]
-It wasn't that shitty, really. -It was.
It was a shitty thing.
I'm a shitty person.
You are not a shitty person.
I am! I am shitty.
You would never do anything that shitty.
What do you call showing up at your apartment
in the middle of the afternoon and calling you shitty?
Yeah, that was pretty shitty.
You, you got a "bat in the cave."
[Miranda laughs]
I miss you.
Whenever something funny happens,
I always wanna tell you about it.
So tell me.
Just 'cause we didn't make it as a couple
doesn't mean we can't have a friendly meal
once in a while, does it?
I guess not.
So what are you doing Friday?
I have a date.
Looking forward to it, are you?
[Carrie] As Miranda made plans to have dinner with her last love...
Charlotte came face to face with the memory of her first...
her horse, Taddy.
Charlotte's relationship with Taddy ended sadly
when he threw her during a teen equestrian competition,
causing her to break her collarbone
and lose the blue ribbon.
Her father promptly sold Taddy to another family
and she hadn't been on a horse since.
Charlotte wondered if maybe it was time
to get back in the saddle again.
Meanwhile, across town,
Samantha was about to see a stallion of her own.
Hi.
I gotta tell you, you look amazing.
Excuse me, but do I know you?
No, not yet.
But I was thinking that maybe
you'd like to have dinner with me sometime.
And what makes you think I'd like that?
From the way you were just checking me out.
[both laugh]
Well, you get ten points for directness.
Do I also get your phone number?
I'm not sure yet.
I tell you what.
Here's my business card.
You call me.
Blatantly picking a woman up on the street.
How'd you get to be so cocky?
I was just born that way, I guess.
At least consider meeting me for a friendly little drink.
I'll think about it, Mr. Cocky.
[laughs] Please do.
[Carrie] It was later that week when I spotted
a Laura Ashley dress circa 1988
still hanging in my closet, that I decided
it was time to give my ex a friendly phone call.
[telephone dialing]
[telephone rings]
-Hello? -[telephone beeps]
[Carrie] I hadn't planned on the idiot stick figure
with no soul answering.
Then I remembered... Big had caller ID.
Shit!
-[telephone dialing] -[clears throat]
[telephone rings]
-Hello? -Well, hello yourself.
Hey, hello.
Did you just call?
No, well, uh, yes,
but I-- I didn't, I didn't get to talk because, uh,
I, uh, I hit the, accidentally I hit the, the thing, thing, so, you know, it, it hung up,
uh, well, so, yes.
And I, um...
I, uh, I heard, um, Natasha, so apologize to her.
So how is Natasha?
Uh...
great, um...
she's great.
How are you?
I am a-okay.
You sound a little nuts.
Come on, can't you let one go by?
This is weird,
the first call.
Right.
Maybe I'd, I'd, I'd do better
if I went with my little prepared speech.
Oh, you have a speech, do you?
[Carrie] Okay.
I was wondering what you thought of
instead of pretending each other doesn't exist...
we try to be friends or something.
Well, I'd like that.
I've been meaning to call you,
but I didn't know if you wanted to hear from me, so I...
Do you want to have a lunch or something?
Let's have a lunch.
Thank you.
-[Carrie] Hi. -Hi.
I have a 1:00 reservation. Bradshaw.
I used to make our lunch reservations in Big's name.
But today, I put it in mine.
Because that's what friends do.
Yes, the other party is already here.
Thank you.
Hey.
-Hey. -Hi.
Are you hungry? 'Cause I'm hungry.
I got up at 6:00, worked out,
hardly had any breakfast.
[clears throat] They have a great Cobb salad here.
So, what do you say, shall we eat?
-Let's eat. -We'll eat.
[Carrie] And that's when I realized it...
Big was nervous.
It was odd.
The new friend part of me
felt incredibly compassionate,
while the old girlfriend part of me felt incredibly smug.
Oh! You okay?
Yeah, fine.
-Thank you. -Mm-hmm.
Thank you. [clears throat]
[sighs] Well, you look good.
Thank you, so do you.
-Good afternoon. -Yeah. Thank you.
The Cobb salad is very good here.
Can I get you something to drink?
Um, iced tea.
Uh, a mineral water.
-Scotch. -Cosmopolitan.
An hour later, I had solved the unsolvable friendship equation.
It seems the answer is this:
Cosmopolitans plus scotch equals friendship with an ex.
-[both laugh] -God!
And what about your music?
If I had to listen to freakin' "Blood, Sweat, and Tears" one more time.
Hey, "Blood, Sweat, and Tears" is great stuff.
Ten minutes after we're awake?
Okay.
[taps]
Tell me about the girl.
-Really? -Yeah!
Friends talk about their relationships,
so, uh, go ahead, friend, tell me about the girl.
[sighs]
Well...
uh, um, she's, she's very sweet--
Okay, enough!
Don't tell me about the girl.
No can do.
Uh, maybe we should make a pact.
We don't talk about our relationships
until they get really serious or something.
Okay?
Carrie...
it is serious.
We're engaged.
I wanted you to hear it from me.
Ow. [groans]
I just got a splitting headache.
Well... I-- I didn't know how to tell you, and...
-and when you called for lunch-- -Engaged?
How can you be engaged?
You have a problem with commitment, remember?
In fact, you told me you never wanted to get married again,
ever.
[scoffs] Well, things change.
Meaning what? You just didn't want to marry me?
-Look, Natasha and I-- -Don't say her name to me!
Don't you dare say her name to me!
You string me along for two years
and then you marry some 25-year-old girl
after only five months?
-I did not string you along. -Okay, yeah, right.
Fine, that's right, you didn't string me along.
You know what, I have to go. I have a headache.
-You okay? -Yeah, I'm fine.
-[Big] Here-- -Don't help me!
Don't you help me!
Carrie, hold on, wait.
-Wait, wait. -What? What, what is it?
Don't end it like this--
No, you're the one that ended it like this.
I was trying to be friendly. So you know what?
This seems like a, a much better way to end things.
So go, go.
Be engaged, get married to, um,
uh, Najinski, or whatever her name is.
Have a nice life.
Don't worry about me, I'm fine.
-Ooh! -Oh!
These steps are very dangerous.
-[tray clatters] -Oh!
[Carrie] The next day, I had promised to hold Charlotte's hand
while she attempted to go riding.
Turned out she needed to hold mine as well.
How you doing?
Aside from the fact that my ex is engaged to a teenager
and I've got horse shit on my $300 goddamn shoes,
I'm doing okay.
Well, I think you're amazing.
I-- I would be in a hospital or something.
-[horse neighs] -What the fuck is his problem?
Oh, he, he's just got a stubborn streak.
I mean, some horses, they, they never really like to be ridden.
Taddy was like that when I first got him,
but then once I broke him in...
then he loved it.
You know what?
I broke in Big.
I did. I broke him in.
And now, the idiot stick figure
with no soul gets to ride him.
Carrie, I'm...
I'm really sorry.
I know you are, sweetie.
Thanks.
Oh, damn! Damn!
You see, this is what happens.
You try to be friendly with an ex
and you wind up knee deep in shit!
[knocking]
[mouthing]
Perfect.
Here you go, this is Pal. He's a good boy.
Oh, and he's brown.
Taddy was brown, but,
but he had white spots on his flank.
Just stay till I'm on the horse,
then you can go, okay?
Yeah, I'm here, it's all lovely.
Go have fun.
Hey, Pal.
Here you go, foot in and up you go.
[Carrie] As Charlotte placed her boot in the stirrup...
all her bad memories of Taddy and broken bones
and lost ribbons flooded over her.
No!
Can't.
No, I can't.
-Let's go. -You just paid.
I said I can't!
-[man] Hey, he's all saddled up. -I'm sorry.
[Carrie] After a few "get to know each other phone calls,"
Samantha took up Mr. Cocky on his offer of a friendly drink.
Turns out it was a very friendly drink.
-Baby. -Oh!
I want you to know that I never pick up guys on the street,
unless they're very cute.
So, get over here, you cutie, you.
[sighs] You know, before we go any further,
I got-- I gotta warn you about somethin'.
Warn me about what?
I'm very well endowed.
[gasps] Ding, ding, ding. Jackpot.
[laughs]
No, no, no, no. I'm serious. It's...
It's huge.
I mean...
most women, they just can't handle it.
Well, um, I'm not most women.
So, unzip, and get over here.
[Carrie] Samantha suddenly understood what made Mr. Cocky so cocky.
[coughs]
I'm telling you, Carrie,
it was like a wall of flesh coming at me.
There is nothing scarier than a really big one coming at you.
I didn't even want to get my mouth near it.
I was afraid I'd get lockjaw.
I mean, it was quite a shock.
His hands are relatively tiny.
Oh, don't tell me you believe that.
Well, not anymore.
I am really gonna have to psych myself up
before I try it again.
You're gonna try it again? Why?
Because it's there.
Sweetie, it's a penis, not Mount Everest.
Well, let me tell you, if it was Mount Everest,
last night I could only make it to Base Camp One.
Wowsa!
You dated Mr. Big,
I'm dating Mr. Too Big.
You know what, you're unbelievable.
You, you broke up with James because he was too small,
this guy's too big.
Who are you, Goldicocks?
Yep.
I'm looking for one that's just right.
[Carrie] That night, after a friendly dinner,
Steve and Miranda began to explore
their newfound friendship.
You know, if you were a real friend, you'd let me keep it.
Yeah, sorry, that's one of the conditions of a break-up.
You gotta give me back my fire department t-shirt.
It fits me perfectly.
Boo-hoo, tell it to the judge.
Please?
Nope.
[both laugh]
So thanks for coming out for dinner.
Well, thanks for letting me pay, finally.
Hey, that's what friends do, isn't it?
[clicks tongue] Well, goodnight.
Right, that's what friends do, isn't it?
[sighs] Hey, I got another question for you.
Do friends kiss...
here?
No.
Oh.
Do friends kiss here?
No.
Oh.
Do friends kiss...
Yeah.
So we had good reasons for breaking up, right?
Yeah.
Money, schedules, goals.
Good reasons.
So what now?
Are we still just friends?
Yeah, we're still just friends.
Friends who have sex.
Oh.
[clock beeps]
[scoffs]
[Carrie] And in a bed across town...
You ready?
Wait. [giggles]
Wait.
[Carrie] After two advanced yoga classes
and a hit of the best Hawaiian Gold she could find,
Samantha was ready to take another run at Mount Everest.
Okay, here we go.
-[chuckles] -[Samantha giggles]
Nice and easy.
[both laugh]
Okay.
[Samantha pants]
[both pant]
That's it.
-[both pant] -Mm-hmm.
Easy-- ah, ah!
-Easy. -[both laugh]
Okay.
-[Mr. Cocky] Oh. -Oh, good.
-[Mr. Cocky] Oh. -Oh! Good. [giggles]
Okay, here we go.
-Here we go? -Yeah.
[shudders] You mean, we're not there yet?
-No. -Okay, stop.
[giggles] Whoa, boy.
Whoa, whoa.
[laughs nervously]
Can we just be friends?
[groans]
[Carrie] And just like that,
Samantha made her very first male friend.
[Mr. Cocky blows raspberry]
The next day in Central Park,
Charlotte was making a new friend as well.
Whoa, whoa.
Good, Pal.
[Carrie] She had decided she and Pal
were moving too fast.
Before they could go any further,
they needed to slow down and get to know each other better.
Aw, you're a good boy, Pal.
Does that feel good?
Do you like that?
Oh, my Taddy liked that, too.
Yes, I love my Taddy so much.
Oh, good boy.
[Carrie] And with that gentle nudge from her new pal...
all Charlotte's bad feelings about Taddy lifted
and she remembered just how much
she had loved his cute white spots.
[horse neighs]
Easy, easy.
Okay. Go, boy, go!
Woo-hoo!
[telephone dialing]
[telephone rings]
[answering machine] Hey, it's Carrie... I'm shoe shopping.
[answering machine beeps]
It's me... are you there?
Pick up if you're there.
[clicks tongue] You're not there.
[sighs] Okay.
Well, I'm calling to say I feel bad about last week.
I...
I didn't mean for it to happen like that. I...
I thought you needed to know.
I hated the idea of someone else telling you.
Christ, I feel like a real shit.
I'm sorry.
I'm, I'm really sorry...
I would, you know, I would never, ever hurt you deliberately--
I know you wouldn't.
You're there?
Yeah, I'm here.
So... like I was saying...
I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry, too.
I shouldn't have reacted like that.
I just...
It was just such a shock.
I guess it was a shock I needed to hear to move on or something.
Yeah.
I wish you all the best.
I do.
I hope you and Natasha will be very happy.
Do you mean that?
No,
but I will.
Really, really.
I hope someday very soon we can all meet for a drink
and be great friends.
You know, like they do in the movies.
So...
Bye.
[telephone beeps]
[dial tone]
[Carrie] And I actually managed to hold on to those friendly feelings, until...
I can't believe my ex-boyfriend is six blocks away
at the Plaza right now having an engagement brunch.
I can't believe he had the nerve to invite you.
Oh, no, no, no, it's, it's my own fault.
I had to make the big, "let's be friends" speech.
But who am I kidding?
Big and I were never friends,
we were something else.
Something that apparently did not end with
an engagement party at the Plaza.
-Do we want another round? -What do you think?
-Four more, please. -Coming right up.
You know, I think I can actually
"feel" them over there eating shrimp.
[laughs]
It's just... [groans]
why her?
I mean, really...
Why her?
One word.
Hubble.
Oh, my God.
Hubble!
It is! It is so Hubble.
-Who's Hubble? -Hubble!
Robert "Hubble" Redford in The Way We Were .
Oh, I love that movie.
No, I love, love, love, that movie.
Never saw it.
-[all] Oh, my God! -What are you, an alien?
How could you not have seen The Way We Were ?
Chick film.
Okay, Robert Redford is madly in love with Barbra Streisand...
"Katie."
K-K-K-Katie!
Oh, K-K-K-Katie, right.
Yeah, but he can't be with her
because she's too complicated,
and she has wild, curly hair.
Hello? C-c-c-curly.
Yeah. So he leaves her
and marries this simple girl with straight hair.
Ladies, I am having an epiphany:
The world is made up of two types of women:
The simple girls and the Katie girls.
I'm a Katie girl. And where are our drinks?
I always, always, always cry at the last scene of that movie,
when she sees him in front of the hotel with his new wife.
The simple girl.
And she reaches up and--
And smooths his hair away.
And she says to him,
[both] "Your girl is lovely, Hubble."
And then, the music comes in.
♪ Memories ♪
Oh, my God. It's so good.
♪ Light the corners of my mind ♪
♪ Misty water-colored memories Of the way we were ♪
Let me do my favorite part.
♪ Can it be? ♪
Oh, yes, yes!
♪ Can it be that it was All so simple then ♪
♪ Or has time rewritten Every line ♪
♪ If we had the chance To do it all again ♪
♪ Tell me ♪
♪ Would we? ♪
Could we?
♪ Memories ♪
I miss James.
Excuse me?
After I left my friends, I found myself pulled
to the site of the big engagement party.
I had no intention of going in, but it was on my way home.
Uh, one second.
[Carrie] I had a choice.
I could run, or I could stand and ask him the question
that if I didn't ask,
would haunt me the rest of my life.
I thought by the time I got here,
I'd know what to say.
And?
Well...
you're late.
The party's over.
I'll say it is.
[chuckles]
Funny.
Anyway, I was just on my way home and--
Hey.
I have a question for you.
Why wasn't it me?
-Carrie-- -No, seriously.
I really need to hear you say it.
Come on, be a friend.
I don't know.
It just got so hard...
And she's...
Yeah.
Your girl is lovely, Hubble.
I don't get it.
And you never did.
[horse neighs]
[man] Easy girl, easy.
Eas--
[Carrie] Then I had a thought, maybe I didn't break Big.
Maybe the problem was he couldn't break me.
Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed.
Maybe they need to run free until they find someone
just as wild to run with.