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This is a story
about a lovely couple,
Rob and Elaine,
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who rented a house,
one especially
hot and sticky summer
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00:00:54,003 --> 00:00:55,013
in the Hamptons.
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Elaine invited
her best single friends,
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Cindy and Janet.
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While Rob invited
his single friends,
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Ira and Matthew,
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to share the good times
and exorbitant rent.
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Until one day,
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this lovely couple
had a terrible fight
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when Elaine went out
for a run and twisted her ankle,
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and came back early to find
Rob canoodling with Janet.
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And Cindy got tired
of Matthew's idiotic jokes
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and incessant market chatter.
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And Ira tried
to be there for Elaine
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and confessed
his true feelings for her,
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which she tried
to laugh off as a joke.
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By August, it got to the point
where everything was so awkward
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that nobody wanted to come back.
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And that's when Janet
called her friend Charlotte.
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It's a really cute
three-bedroom cottage.
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And they're giving us
a fantastic deal
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for the month of August.
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Yeah, of course,
it's a good deal.
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It's haunted
with cheating boyfriends
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and sexual rejection.
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We can always burn sage.
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Hey, sharing a house
with your girlfriends
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is fine in your 20's,
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but I feel like in your 30's,
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isn't it a tiny bit pathetic,
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like being the oldest kid
at summer camp?
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She has a point.
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My 25-year-old assistant,
Nina Grabowski,
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has a summer share
in Bridgehampton
with 18 other girls.
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They have to sleep in shifts.
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What do they do
when they meet someone?
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Oh, they fuck in shifts too.
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Hold it, hold it.
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I can't believe you guys
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would pass up a chance
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to get out of this
sweltering heat.
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And besides,
the city's completely
dead during August.
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That's because
everyone's in the Hamptons.
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Or stuck in traffic
trying to get there.
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But this could be
the last summer
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that we can actually
all get together
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and do something like this.
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I mean, next year, who knows?
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One of us could be married,
or have kids.
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And then we'll always
regret that last summer
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that we didn't spend
together in the Hamptons.
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Charlotte's sweet
hopefulness
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touched something in all of us.
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Okay, I'm in.
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Me, too.
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Fine, but I get the late shift.
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Oh, my God!
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Samantha always felt
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like she was in her 20's
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until the sight
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of an actual twenty-something
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brought her back down to earth.
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Oh, you have to try it.
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No, I'm getting you
on the VIP list.
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You have to try it
for one night.
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My best friend Jerry owns it.
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He also owns the one
in South Beach.
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Yes! The same one.
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I need you to proof
and confirm the guest list
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for the Hetrick Martin benefit
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and get me
Richard Johnson, ASAP.
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No, he is not a fag.
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No, because I happen
to have three friends
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he's personally fucked.
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You are nasty. You are.
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Listen, I am sending you a car,
to and fro,
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and if you hate it,
I'm gonna let you blow me.
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I am!
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I am serious.
Off, now.
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Alec, I've gotta go.
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I'll keep you posted, okay?
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Bye, honey.
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I, um...
I have personal relationships
of my own, you know.
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Not with my clients you don't.
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And I have my own career
to worry about.
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Your career is
being my assistant.
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You're so deluded.
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I mean, you wouldn't
even know what's hot
if it wasn't for me.
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Nina, unfortunately,
you don't seem to grasp
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the vast difference between us.
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Oh, yes, I do.
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You stood in line at Studio 54.
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I stood in line at Studio 54,
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the movie!
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I gave that bitch
her first job out of college.
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She didn't know a fucking thing!
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These girls in their 20's,
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they're so spoiled
and ungrateful.
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They think they're it.
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Yeah, don't they realize
we're still it?
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No, because the world
validates their delusion.
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And, she took a copy
of my Rolodex.
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-Do you think I can sue?
-Um...
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Excuse me, do you remember us
in our 20's?
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Dimly.
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Have a little
compassion, ladies.
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The only thing worse
than being single
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and in your 30's in this city
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is being single and in
your 20's.
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Hey!
Where have you been?
112
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I was worried you were
going to miss the Jitney!
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The Hamptons Jitney
is just like the bus
to summer camp,
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only instead of singing songs,
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everyone ignores each other
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and talks on their cell phones.
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Everyone, this is Greg.
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This is Samantha,
Carrie, and Miranda.
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-Hi!
Hi.
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Greg has been going
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to the Hamptons every summer
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for 20 years.
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Since I was six.
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-You do the math.
-Oh, I have.
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Thank you.
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Oh!
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Ah, ah, ah, easy sister.
No need to push, huh?
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00:04:50,021 --> 00:04:53,001
Four bumper-to-bumper
hours later,
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we arrived at our new digs.
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They said this place
was shabby chic,
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I'm thinking it's much more
shitty chic.
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These towels are mildewed.
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Actually, this whole
house smells like mildew.
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That's not mildew.
It's beachy.
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Would you all stop
being so cynical?
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We're lucky to be here.
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Ah! Cynicism.
138
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Now, there's one advantage
we have over girls in
their 20's.
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I was cynical in high school.
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-Who's that?
-Hmm.
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It's Greg, that cute guy
I met on the Jitney.
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I told him to drop by.
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And if he asks,
he thinks I'm 27.
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Evidently, while we had
taken the midtown tunnel,
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Charlotte had taken
the time tunnel.
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-Hi!
-Hey.
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Come on in.
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You guys remember Greg.
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Hi, Greg.
150
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Hey. Uh, so, listen, uh,
me and my housemates
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are having a big bonfire tonight
out at the beach,
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and I just wanted to tell you
that you're all invited.
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Excellent!
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Here you go, ladies.
155
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It's got so much foam
you could ski on the head!
156
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Sorry, it's been a while
since I've pumped a keg.
157
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I love young men,
but, come on, I mean...
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00:06:16,006 --> 00:06:19,006
the guys here,
they don't even have
chest hair yet!
159
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Well, that's good
news for their backs.
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Sorry!
161
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Okay, this is really fun.
162
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How long do we have to stay?
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Oh, God!
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All right, I'm gonna go tell
Charlotte we're leaving.
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That's another thing
about twenty-something girls.
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They're very considerate.
167
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You can always count
on one of them
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to hold your hair back
when you vomit.
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Excuse me!
170
00:06:46,008 --> 00:06:48,008
Oh, my God, Carrie Bradshaw!
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00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,998
-Yeah?
-Laurel Harris.
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May I just tell you
that I worship you?
173
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I read your column every week,
it's like my religion.
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Oh, thank you.
175
00:06:57,002 --> 00:06:59,002
I work as an assistant
in a publishing house,
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but I'm really a writer.
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Oh, great.
178
00:07:01,011 --> 00:07:02,021
Well, we'll see.
179
00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:05,000
Maybe I could send you
something to read sometime?
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-Sure.
-You have no idea
what that would mean to me.
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To-- to have someone like you
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as my mentor.
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00:07:11,002 --> 00:07:13,002
Oh, well, mentor.
184
00:07:13,006 --> 00:07:15,006
So, could I call you up
sometime in the city?
185
00:07:15,014 --> 00:07:17,014
It would-- if I could just spend
some time with you,
186
00:07:17,008 --> 00:07:18,018
that-- that would be so cool.
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Uh, of course,
188
00:07:20,002 --> 00:07:22,022
uh, I'll-- I'll be looking
at a very busy summer.
189
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I-- I can help,
I'll run errands.
I'll do your wash.
190
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No, no, no menial
labor necessary.
191
00:07:28,022 --> 00:07:30,022
I'll just, um, I'll give you
my phone number.
192
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Oh, my God, this is so cool.
193
00:07:32,017 --> 00:07:33,997
Oh, thank you.
194
00:07:34,003 --> 00:07:35,003
Oh, I'll take that.
195
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Thank you.
196
00:07:41,011 --> 00:07:43,021
The next day,
Miranda woke up early
197
00:07:43,023 --> 00:07:45,013
to enjoy the cool morning breeze
198
00:07:45,011 --> 00:07:48,001
and a much needed
moment of solitude.
199
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,017
All right, somebody
puked on the deck.
200
00:07:56,001 --> 00:08:00,021
Oh, sorry. Stacy and Holly
did too many Jell-O shots.
201
00:08:01,011 --> 00:08:03,011
What are you, 25 now?
202
00:08:05,002 --> 00:08:06,012
Good morning.
203
00:08:07,017 --> 00:08:09,017
No, 27!
204
00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:12,000
Whatever.
205
00:08:12,006 --> 00:08:14,016
That week,
back in the city, I wondered.
206
00:08:14,018 --> 00:08:16,018
What was the allure
of the 20's?
207
00:08:16,023 --> 00:08:19,003
On one hand,
there's great skin tone,
208
00:08:19,006 --> 00:08:20,016
the thrill of fresh experience,
209
00:08:20,018 --> 00:08:22,008
and the sense
of a consequence-free life
210
00:08:22,013 --> 00:08:24,023
full of seemingly
endless possibilities.
211
00:08:24,021 --> 00:08:25,021
While on the other,
212
00:08:25,022 --> 00:08:27,012
there are horrible apartments,
213
00:08:27,009 --> 00:08:28,999
sexually inexperienced men,
214
00:08:29,002 --> 00:08:31,022
and embarrassing errors
in fashion judgment.
215
00:08:34,004 --> 00:08:36,004
Should we fear these
freshly minted,
216
00:08:36,002 --> 00:08:39,012
single women as a threat
to our very survival?
217
00:08:39,008 --> 00:08:41,008
Or pity them
as clueless half-wits
218
00:08:41,008 --> 00:08:42,018
about to get their dreams dashed
219
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,001
and illusions shattered?
220
00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:46,022
Twenty-something girls...
221
00:08:47,016 --> 00:08:49,006
Friend... or foe?
222
00:08:50,019 --> 00:08:53,019
And that evening,
in my first act as a mentor,
223
00:08:53,023 --> 00:08:56,023
I took my young acolyte
to a book party.
224
00:08:56,018 --> 00:08:57,018
Ceviche?
225
00:08:59,008 --> 00:09:00,018
Oh, my God.
226
00:09:02,006 --> 00:09:04,006
I can't believe I'm out
with Carrie Bradshaw,
227
00:09:04,013 --> 00:09:05,023
this is too cool.
228
00:09:05,018 --> 00:09:07,018
Oh, stop, I can feel
my head swelling.
229
00:09:07,017 --> 00:09:10,007
If it gets any bigger,
I'm gonna have to say
goodbye to my hats.
230
00:09:11,001 --> 00:09:12,001
-I have a question.
-Yeah?
231
00:09:12,003 --> 00:09:13,013
Do you think that
25 is too young
232
00:09:13,013 --> 00:09:15,003
to write a personal memoir?
233
00:09:15,009 --> 00:09:17,019
Well, as long as it
doesn't deal with incest,
234
00:09:17,018 --> 00:09:19,018
Prozac, or partying, no.
235
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,997
Well, it does deal with sex.
236
00:09:21,002 --> 00:09:22,022
Or rather, not having sex.
237
00:09:22,018 --> 00:09:24,008
It's about how girls my age
238
00:09:24,007 --> 00:09:26,017
are saving themselves
for marriage.
239
00:09:28,011 --> 00:09:30,001
Saving what for marriage?
240
00:09:30,006 --> 00:09:31,016
Our virginity.
241
00:09:32,019 --> 00:09:33,019
Are you seriously telling me
242
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,020
that you've never
had sex with a man?
243
00:09:35,017 --> 00:09:36,997
That is correct.
244
00:09:37,017 --> 00:09:42,007
Okay, uh, now,
what do you consider sex?
245
00:09:42,017 --> 00:09:44,007
Are you implying
I'm some kind of Lewinsky?
246
00:09:44,013 --> 00:09:45,023
No! No--
-I'm not!
247
00:09:45,022 --> 00:09:48,012
I'm talking no blow jobs,
no hand jobs.
248
00:09:48,012 --> 00:09:51,012
All right, I get it,
no jobs of any kind.
249
00:09:52,002 --> 00:09:53,002
You know what?
250
00:09:53,002 --> 00:09:54,022
I think I need to get a drink.
251
00:09:54,019 --> 00:09:56,999
I'll get it.
Cosmopolitan, right?
252
00:09:57,006 --> 00:09:58,996
-Yes.
-I remember.
253
00:09:59,010 --> 00:10:00,020
From your column.
254
00:10:02,014 --> 00:10:06,024
A 25-year-old virgin
was getting me a Cosmopolitan.
255
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:09,022
The generation gap
had never seemed so wide.
256
00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:12,009
-Hi.
-Hi.
257
00:10:14,001 --> 00:10:15,011
Have you actually read the book?
258
00:10:15,008 --> 00:10:17,008
-Uh, no. Have you?
-Nope, not yet.
259
00:10:17,008 --> 00:10:18,008
Do you know anything
about the author?
260
00:10:18,016 --> 00:10:20,006
Yeah, his family has
a history of diabetes
261
00:10:20,009 --> 00:10:22,019
and he has a steel splint
in his left femur.
262
00:10:23,005 --> 00:10:24,015
I'm his doctor, Bradley Meego.
263
00:10:25,001 --> 00:10:27,021
Oh! Carrie Bradshaw.
264
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,000
Jeez, my doctor won't
even make house calls
265
00:10:30,003 --> 00:10:31,013
let alone attend a book party.
266
00:10:31,012 --> 00:10:32,022
Yeah, I've never
been to one before.
267
00:10:32,023 --> 00:10:34,013
I thought it might
be interesting.
268
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:35,018
Now it's just exceeded
all my expectations.
269
00:10:36,001 --> 00:10:38,001
Yeah, I know, generally,
it's just cheese and crackers.
270
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,015
You never see an actual shrimp.
271
00:10:39,023 --> 00:10:41,003
No, I meant you.
272
00:10:41,004 --> 00:10:42,014
Oh.
273
00:10:42,013 --> 00:10:43,023
You know, I'd ask you out
for a drink after,
274
00:10:43,023 --> 00:10:45,013
but I'm driving straight
from here to the Hamptons.
275
00:10:45,015 --> 00:10:48,005
Oh, I'm-- I'm actually going
out to the Hamptons tomorrow.
276
00:10:48,011 --> 00:10:50,021
Well, great.
Um, can I call you there?
277
00:10:52,020 --> 00:10:54,010
All right, well, you know what?
278
00:10:54,007 --> 00:10:56,997
I'll be with my friends
Saturday at Townline Beach.
279
00:10:57,005 --> 00:10:58,005
A big yellow umbrella.
280
00:10:58,011 --> 00:10:59,021
You can come by and
say hello if you'd like.
281
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,000
Is this just a ploy to see me
in my bathing suit?
282
00:11:02,002 --> 00:11:03,002
Yeah.
283
00:11:03,006 --> 00:11:04,006
-Here's your Cosmo, miss.
-Thank you.
284
00:11:04,016 --> 00:11:05,016
-Hi.
-Uh...
285
00:11:06,001 --> 00:11:09,001
Dr. Bradley Meego,
this is Laurel.
286
00:11:09,004 --> 00:11:10,014
-Hi.
-Hey.
287
00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:12,020
Um, so, what if it rains?
288
00:11:12,020 --> 00:11:14,000
Do we pick another date, or...
289
00:11:14,002 --> 00:11:16,012
Doctor, you are persistent.
290
00:11:16,018 --> 00:11:20,018
All right, in case
of emergency only.
291
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,020
Yep, now I'm gonna
have to buy the book.
292
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,021
Nice meeting you.
293
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,010
-You, too.
Bye.
294
00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:33,000
Drive safe.
295
00:11:33,023 --> 00:11:36,013
Oh, my God, he is such a fox.
296
00:11:36,007 --> 00:11:38,007
Did-- did you just meet him
when I was at the bar?
297
00:11:38,010 --> 00:11:41,010
-Mm-hmm.
-Lady, you've got it going on!
298
00:11:43,018 --> 00:11:46,018
That Saturday turned
out to be hot and sunny.
299
00:11:46,022 --> 00:11:48,022
While we sat under our umbrella,
300
00:11:48,023 --> 00:11:51,003
twenty-something girls
sizzled on the sand
301
00:11:51,005 --> 00:11:52,015
like rotisserie chickens.
302
00:11:52,017 --> 00:11:55,017
Excuse me, when did tanning
come back in style?
303
00:11:55,021 --> 00:11:57,011
Hand me the 45!
304
00:11:57,007 --> 00:12:00,007
Forty-five? Didn't know
it went up that high.
305
00:12:00,013 --> 00:12:03,003
You can sit
in a microwave and not burn.
306
00:12:03,012 --> 00:12:06,002
It's Charlotte's,
but I don't think
she's gonna be using it.
307
00:12:06,002 --> 00:12:08,022
It's not good for her
27-year-old image.
308
00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:12,011
She actually put on oil.
309
00:12:12,018 --> 00:12:14,008
Just let her
have her fun now.
310
00:12:14,011 --> 00:12:17,011
Come Labor Day,
she's gonna look like
a 27-year-old handbag.
311
00:12:18,019 --> 00:12:19,999
I'd risk a few
precancerous freckles
312
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,016
for a summer romance.
313
00:12:21,022 --> 00:12:23,012
And right then,
314
00:12:23,007 --> 00:12:25,007
my summer romance
made his appearance,
315
00:12:25,008 --> 00:12:26,018
right on schedule.
316
00:12:26,019 --> 00:12:29,009
The yellow umbrellas seem
to be very popular this year.
317
00:12:29,012 --> 00:12:30,012
Hey!
318
00:12:30,020 --> 00:12:33,000
Samantha, Miranda,
this is Dr. Bradley Meego.
319
00:12:33,006 --> 00:12:33,996
-Hello!
Hi.
320
00:12:34,006 --> 00:12:35,006
Hello, ladies.
321
00:12:35,010 --> 00:12:37,010
So what kind of a doctor
are you, doctor?
322
00:12:37,008 --> 00:12:38,008
Uh, internal medicine.
323
00:12:38,013 --> 00:12:39,023
General, all-purpose
kind of thing.
324
00:12:39,022 --> 00:12:43,002
Fabulous! So you can
prescribe medication?
325
00:12:43,002 --> 00:12:43,022
What did you have in mind?
326
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,010
Feel free to ignore her.
327
00:12:45,011 --> 00:12:46,021
-I'm sure that's impossible.
328
00:12:47,001 --> 00:12:49,001
Listen, I'm gonna go
take a quick dip.
329
00:12:49,006 --> 00:12:50,016
Now, you promise not
to ditch me, now.
330
00:12:50,023 --> 00:12:52,013
-I promise.
-Okay.
331
00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:57,018
Is that the guy
from the book party?
332
00:12:57,022 --> 00:12:58,022
Yeah.
333
00:12:58,020 --> 00:13:00,020
I've got to start reading.
334
00:13:01,005 --> 00:13:05,015
He's cute, I'm just not
really sure I'm interested.
335
00:13:05,021 --> 00:13:07,011
Good-looking, polite,
336
00:13:07,010 --> 00:13:09,000
house in the Hamptons.
337
00:13:09,009 --> 00:13:10,019
It's good on paper.
338
00:13:10,021 --> 00:13:12,021
-Well, you know the rule.
-Huh?
339
00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:15,010
-Good on paper, bad in bed.
340
00:13:15,013 --> 00:13:18,013
A "good on paper guy"
is a guy with great credentials,
341
00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:21,004
who you always end up leaving
for some hot guy
342
00:13:21,004 --> 00:13:22,014
who rides a motorcycle
343
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,020
and doesn't have
a checking account.
344
00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:24,019
-I got ya.
345
00:13:24,023 --> 00:13:26,023
Oh, my God!
346
00:13:26,023 --> 00:13:29,023
Ah! The water feels so awesome.
347
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,017
You guys should really go in.
348
00:13:30,021 --> 00:13:32,021
You better put on
some sunscreen,
349
00:13:32,021 --> 00:13:34,011
Georgette Hamilton.
350
00:13:34,011 --> 00:13:35,021
Oh, that's okay, I never burn.
351
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:37,012
Well, I do.
352
00:13:37,015 --> 00:13:39,005
In fact, I think I've had enough
for today.
353
00:13:39,009 --> 00:13:40,999
I'm gonna go grocery shopping.
354
00:13:41,002 --> 00:13:42,002
You guys want anything?
355
00:13:42,004 --> 00:13:43,024
Oh, we should get some rum.
356
00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:45,000
We can make
Long Island Iced Teas.
357
00:13:45,004 --> 00:13:48,014
Oh, yes.
I love Long Island Iced Teas.
358
00:13:48,018 --> 00:13:49,018
Excellent!
359
00:13:57,016 --> 00:13:59,016
So I took a leap of faith
and made reservations
360
00:13:59,019 --> 00:14:02,019
at one of those impossible
to get into restaurants
for tonight.
361
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,010
Oh, wow, I'd love to,
362
00:14:05,014 --> 00:14:08,014
I just,
I can't abandon my friends.
363
00:14:09,003 --> 00:14:10,023
Well, actually,
that wasn't an invitation.
364
00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:12,007
It was just
restaurant chit-chat.
365
00:14:12,014 --> 00:14:14,014
Oh, oh.
366
00:14:14,010 --> 00:14:15,020
-I'm kidding.
-Oh.
367
00:14:17,019 --> 00:14:18,019
How about after dinner?
368
00:14:18,021 --> 00:14:19,021
I got a great little house.
369
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,010
A cute little porch
we can sit on.
370
00:14:22,002 --> 00:14:23,012
Oh, I don't know.
371
00:14:24,001 --> 00:14:27,001
Okay, then, how about
if I just call your
372
00:14:27,004 --> 00:14:29,004
in case of emergency
number this weekend.
373
00:14:29,011 --> 00:14:32,001
The emergency being
I think I'm gonna miss you.
374
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:36,006
Yes, you can definitely do that.
375
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,009
Good.
376
00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:38,019
Romantic, polite,
377
00:14:38,022 --> 00:14:41,012
and his very own house
south of the highway.
378
00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:45,013
My "good on paper" guy
was jumping right off the page.
379
00:14:45,011 --> 00:14:46,011
Later that afternoon,
380
00:14:46,014 --> 00:14:47,014
we came back from the beach
381
00:14:47,014 --> 00:14:48,024
rested, rejuvenated,
382
00:14:48,023 --> 00:14:50,023
feeling almost 29 again.
383
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,013
Even Miranda
was in good spirits.
384
00:14:52,013 --> 00:14:54,023
Hey, guys, I just got
back from the market.
385
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:56,003
Yeah?
386
00:14:56,002 --> 00:14:57,002
Fresh corn and
seafood for dinner.
387
00:14:57,005 --> 00:14:58,005
-Yummy!
388
00:14:58,008 --> 00:14:59,998
Except, Carrie,
your groupie can't stay.
389
00:15:00,004 --> 00:15:02,004
I only got enough
for the four of us.
390
00:15:02,004 --> 00:15:03,014
She's here?
391
00:15:03,012 --> 00:15:05,012
Yeah, she was asking
too many inane questions.
392
00:15:05,016 --> 00:15:06,996
I sent her up to your room.
393
00:15:07,012 --> 00:15:08,022
Oh, thanks.
394
00:15:08,019 --> 00:15:10,009
-Sorry.
-So, I have got to go shower,
395
00:15:10,015 --> 00:15:12,005
-I'm all itchy in my bathing
suit from the sand.
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
396
00:15:12,014 --> 00:15:13,024
-And then I'm gonna help ya.
-Okay.
397
00:15:13,020 --> 00:15:14,020
Take your time.
398
00:15:14,018 --> 00:15:15,018
Samantha, that came for you.
399
00:15:15,023 --> 00:15:17,003
Oh...
400
00:15:19,006 --> 00:15:20,016
Oh, my God!
401
00:15:20,017 --> 00:15:21,017
What's wrong?
402
00:15:22,001 --> 00:15:23,021
It's for the Hampton's
hoedown tomorrow night.
403
00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:27,010
And the event is being run
by Nina G. Public Relations.
Nina G.!
404
00:15:27,014 --> 00:15:31,004
Overnight,
Samantha's ex-assistant,
Nina Grabowski,
405
00:15:31,002 --> 00:15:33,012
had reinvented herself
as Nina G.
406
00:15:33,011 --> 00:15:34,011
I was up for that job.
407
00:15:34,013 --> 00:15:35,023
And now she's using my Rolodex
408
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,010
to put together the guest list.
409
00:15:37,012 --> 00:15:39,022
While Samantha was
getting fucked royally
410
00:15:39,017 --> 00:15:40,017
by her protégé,
411
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,010
mine was giving me
the royal treatment.
412
00:15:43,007 --> 00:15:45,017
It's not that I don't
wanna have sex with men,
413
00:15:46,003 --> 00:15:48,013
I just feel like these previous
generations of women
414
00:15:48,012 --> 00:15:52,012
have devalued sex to the point
where it's not even
special anymore.
415
00:15:52,016 --> 00:15:53,016
One summer, when I was 15,
416
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,010
I read everything
Jackie Collins ever wrote.
417
00:15:56,013 --> 00:15:57,023
And I thought to myself,
"Who cares?"
418
00:15:57,023 --> 00:15:59,013
I mean, is this supposed
to be shocking,
419
00:15:59,009 --> 00:16:01,019
wagging one's pussy
at every good-looking stud
420
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,000
who walks by?
421
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:04,003
Please.
422
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:06,016
And, what is it you like
about my column?
423
00:16:07,023 --> 00:16:09,023
I have a, a tiny tick
on my stomach,
424
00:16:09,020 --> 00:16:11,000
and I can't get it off.
425
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,014
Ew. Does it hurt?
426
00:16:12,009 --> 00:16:13,009
No, but it itches.
427
00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:15,995
Oh, my God,
that is not a tick.
428
00:16:16,003 --> 00:16:17,013
Well, well, what is it?
429
00:16:21,004 --> 00:16:23,004
Well, there go
our shitty sheets.
430
00:16:23,006 --> 00:16:25,996
Oh, my God, it's so disgusting.
431
00:16:26,012 --> 00:16:27,012
Where's she going?
432
00:16:27,022 --> 00:16:29,002
To the drugstore.
433
00:16:29,009 --> 00:16:31,009
Charlotte really is in her 20's.
434
00:16:31,010 --> 00:16:32,020
She's got crabs.
435
00:16:32,017 --> 00:16:35,007
Oh, my God!
436
00:16:35,014 --> 00:16:38,004
That night,
I called Dr. Meego.
437
00:16:38,002 --> 00:16:40,012
I figured it was an emergency.
438
00:16:42,006 --> 00:16:44,006
I just, I have this thing
about crabs.
439
00:16:44,007 --> 00:16:45,007
I had them once in college,
440
00:16:45,013 --> 00:16:47,003
and the experience
scarred me for life.
441
00:16:47,004 --> 00:16:48,024
So, I really, I don't think
I can go back to that house
442
00:16:48,020 --> 00:16:50,010
until the mattresses
are sanitized
443
00:16:50,012 --> 00:16:52,012
and the sheets and towels
are burned.
444
00:16:52,008 --> 00:16:53,018
No, I'm-- I'm flattered
you thought of me.
445
00:16:54,020 --> 00:16:55,020
I'd be happy to
prescribe your friend
446
00:16:56,001 --> 00:16:57,011
some industrial
strength pubicide.
447
00:16:57,007 --> 00:16:59,007
No, that's all right,
448
00:16:59,012 --> 00:17:00,022
I think she can
take care of herself.
449
00:17:01,014 --> 00:17:02,024
-Here, cheers.
-Cheers.
450
00:17:10,019 --> 00:17:12,019
You might have to spend
the night here, you know.
451
00:17:13,011 --> 00:17:16,011
I might have to,
but only to sleep.
452
00:17:16,019 --> 00:17:18,009
You know, women
are always saying that,
453
00:17:18,008 --> 00:17:19,008
and then, as soon as
the lights go out,
454
00:17:19,016 --> 00:17:21,016
boom, they're going right
for my pajamas.
455
00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:26,019
All righty, I promise,
no funny stuff.
456
00:17:31,019 --> 00:17:32,019
That night,
we slept together
457
00:17:32,023 --> 00:17:34,023
but we didn't sleep together.
458
00:17:35,001 --> 00:17:36,011
It was really nice.
459
00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:38,003
And I believe
it was the first instance
460
00:17:38,003 --> 00:17:41,003
of a case of crabs moving
a relationship forward.
461
00:17:48,005 --> 00:17:51,005
Every year, one of the local
Hamptons billionaires
462
00:17:51,008 --> 00:17:53,018
got down and dirty
and threw a big hoedown
463
00:17:53,017 --> 00:17:55,017
full of cowboys and caviar.
464
00:17:55,017 --> 00:17:57,017
It was the event of the season.
465
00:17:59,006 --> 00:18:01,016
We joined Samantha
to lend our moral support.
466
00:18:02,001 --> 00:18:03,001
I can't believe it.
467
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:05,995
There are people here
who don't even come
to my parties
468
00:18:06,005 --> 00:18:07,995
and they came to Nina's.
469
00:18:09,019 --> 00:18:11,009
Look at her over there.
470
00:18:12,011 --> 00:18:14,001
Beef jerky carpaccio?
471
00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:16,015
I am just
so depressed right now.
472
00:18:17,014 --> 00:18:18,014
Excuse me.
473
00:18:18,012 --> 00:18:20,002
Hey, where are you going?
474
00:18:20,004 --> 00:18:21,024
To congratulate Nina.
475
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:23,997
I may need her
to hire me someday.
476
00:18:25,006 --> 00:18:26,996
While Samantha
set out to negotiate
477
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,016
twenty-something détente ,
478
00:18:28,022 --> 00:18:31,022
Charlotte prepared
to launch a full-out war.
479
00:18:31,021 --> 00:18:32,021
Excuse me.
480
00:18:33,009 --> 00:18:35,019
Right. No way.
481
00:18:45,017 --> 00:18:46,997
Hey!
482
00:18:47,011 --> 00:18:49,021
Do you know that
you gave me crabs?
483
00:18:50,015 --> 00:18:52,005
What?
484
00:18:52,023 --> 00:18:54,013
You heard me.
485
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:55,017
What makes you think it was me?
486
00:18:55,022 --> 00:18:57,012
Oh, that is so tacky.
487
00:18:57,015 --> 00:18:59,005
Yeah, well, so is lying
about your age.
488
00:18:59,021 --> 00:19:01,001
You know, I saw your
driver's license
489
00:19:01,002 --> 00:19:02,012
when you bought
the beer last night.
490
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:03,007
I didn't lie.
491
00:19:03,007 --> 00:19:03,997
You made an assumption,
492
00:19:04,004 --> 00:19:05,014
I didn't contradict it.
493
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,011
Whatever.
494
00:19:06,013 --> 00:19:09,003
You know, I may have
given you crabs,
495
00:19:09,021 --> 00:19:11,011
but you deceived me.
496
00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:12,020
That is so much worse.
497
00:19:12,019 --> 00:19:13,999
Grow up.
498
00:19:20,014 --> 00:19:22,024
You are a wait person.
That does not mean
that you wait,
499
00:19:22,017 --> 00:19:23,017
it means that you go!
500
00:19:24,002 --> 00:19:25,002
Nina!
501
00:19:25,014 --> 00:19:28,024
Oh, my God, you actually came.
502
00:19:29,023 --> 00:19:32,013
I just stopped by
to wish you good luck.
503
00:19:32,008 --> 00:19:34,018
It's a fabulous party.
504
00:19:34,018 --> 00:19:35,018
That is very cool of you.
505
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,010
Nina, I told you,
506
00:19:37,008 --> 00:19:38,008
I didn't want Martha seated
near the hayride.
507
00:19:38,016 --> 00:19:39,016
-She's allergic.
-Oh.
508
00:19:39,023 --> 00:19:41,013
Could you please try
to keep the young people
509
00:19:41,012 --> 00:19:42,022
out until after 11:00?
510
00:19:42,020 --> 00:19:44,010
Oh. Yeah.
511
00:19:44,012 --> 00:19:45,022
I just wanna tell you,
512
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,998
we're all out of country
fried goat cheese,
513
00:19:47,002 --> 00:19:48,022
somebody got stuck
with a cactus needle,
514
00:19:48,017 --> 00:19:49,017
and there are people
outside with invitations
515
00:19:50,001 --> 00:19:51,011
who are not on the fucking list.
516
00:19:51,010 --> 00:19:52,020
Jesus fucking Christ.
517
00:19:52,018 --> 00:19:53,998
You are totally coked out.
518
00:19:54,003 --> 00:19:55,013
You are totally jealous.
519
00:19:56,016 --> 00:19:58,016
What is that?
Oh, my God! What is that?
520
00:19:59,007 --> 00:20:01,017
What is that sound?
Oh, my God. What?
521
00:20:01,022 --> 00:20:03,002
What is happening?
522
00:20:03,006 --> 00:20:04,016
That is not supposed to happen
until midnight.
523
00:20:04,019 --> 00:20:05,009
I know!
524
00:20:05,015 --> 00:20:06,005
This is your problem.
525
00:20:06,015 --> 00:20:07,015
Get them to stop!
526
00:20:07,018 --> 00:20:09,018
I can't, they're on
a fucking barge!
527
00:20:10,012 --> 00:20:13,002
Oh, my God.
Samantha, could you help me?
528
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:15,003
I-- I need to get
everybody outside.
529
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:17,015
I'm just,
I'm totally fucked right now.
530
00:20:18,005 --> 00:20:22,005
Okay, people, fiesta fireworks,
outside!
531
00:20:22,011 --> 00:20:25,011
Let's go. Let's go!
532
00:20:25,008 --> 00:20:27,008
-Oh, Nina!
-Yeah?
533
00:20:27,011 --> 00:20:28,021
This is Greg.
534
00:20:28,021 --> 00:20:32,011
I think the two of you
would really hit it off.
535
00:20:32,008 --> 00:20:34,008
-Hi.
-Hi.
536
00:20:37,016 --> 00:20:39,006
I began to realize then
537
00:20:39,007 --> 00:20:41,017
that the biggest threat
twenty-something girls posed
538
00:20:41,021 --> 00:20:42,021
was to themselves.
539
00:20:43,004 --> 00:20:44,024
Hey, Carrie, I've been looking
all over for you.
540
00:20:44,022 --> 00:20:46,022
Hey. Look, I got one
just like yours.
541
00:20:46,022 --> 00:20:48,022
Oh, wow, that's great.
542
00:20:48,018 --> 00:20:50,008
You want me to get you
a Cosmopolitan?
543
00:20:50,009 --> 00:20:52,019
No, no, that's okay,
I'm actually, I'm gonna
go find my date.
544
00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:53,017
But I'll see you later, okay?
545
00:20:53,021 --> 00:20:55,001
That guy from the bookstore?
546
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,014
-Oh, my God, he was so cute!
-Oh.
547
00:20:57,007 --> 00:20:59,997
Annoying, yes, dangerous, no.
548
00:21:00,002 --> 00:21:02,012
They were simply
our youthful doppelgangers
549
00:21:02,007 --> 00:21:05,007
who needed our compassion
more than anything.
550
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:08,005
And then everything
I so firmly believed
551
00:21:08,015 --> 00:21:10,005
was promptly blown to pieces.
552
00:21:10,008 --> 00:21:11,018
Yeah, yeah. I know.
553
00:21:12,001 --> 00:21:13,011
Listen.
554
00:21:19,022 --> 00:21:21,012
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
555
00:21:21,009 --> 00:21:22,019
Is it you?
556
00:21:23,012 --> 00:21:26,022
Hey, what are you,
what are you doing here?
557
00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:28,020
What am I doing here?
558
00:21:29,005 --> 00:21:30,005
What are you doing here?
559
00:21:32,015 --> 00:21:34,015
I just got back
this week from Paris.
560
00:21:36,019 --> 00:21:38,009
Oh, Carrie, this is Natasha.
561
00:21:38,015 --> 00:21:40,005
Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you.
562
00:21:40,013 --> 00:21:42,013
I've heard so much about you.
563
00:21:42,007 --> 00:21:43,007
Oh, really?
564
00:21:44,015 --> 00:21:46,015
Natasha's parents
have a house here
in East Hampton.
565
00:21:46,018 --> 00:21:48,008
We just came up for the weekend.
566
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,020
Excuse me.
It was nice to meet you, Carrie.
567
00:22:00,008 --> 00:22:03,998
I'm sorry, I'm just...
a little stunned here.
568
00:22:04,018 --> 00:22:06,008
And confused.
569
00:22:07,003 --> 00:22:08,013
Who is she?
570
00:22:08,008 --> 00:22:10,018
Well, I, you know,
I meant to call you.
571
00:22:12,004 --> 00:22:13,014
She's a girl...
572
00:22:15,003 --> 00:22:17,013
She's this girl
that I met in Paris.
573
00:22:18,005 --> 00:22:20,005
She works for Ralph Lauren
in Europe.
574
00:22:23,005 --> 00:22:25,005
So you're just in
from Paris for the weekend?
575
00:22:25,007 --> 00:22:26,007
No.
576
00:22:27,023 --> 00:22:29,023
The Paris deal fell through.
577
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,020
I, uh, I planned on calling you.
578
00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:37,010
I certainly didn't want
to run into you like this.
579
00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:39,003
Well, you can't plan everything.
580
00:22:39,002 --> 00:22:40,012
Life can be pretty random.
581
00:22:40,015 --> 00:22:43,995
I'm here on a, on a date,
too, somewhere.
582
00:22:44,009 --> 00:22:46,009
It's Dr. Bradley Meego.
583
00:22:46,020 --> 00:22:49,010
He's good on paper, you know,
probably like Natasha.
584
00:22:49,009 --> 00:22:51,009
Good-looking, sweet,
blah, blah blah.
585
00:22:53,021 --> 00:22:55,021
So how old is she, anyway?
586
00:22:58,002 --> 00:23:00,022
I don't know, 26, 27.
587
00:23:02,010 --> 00:23:03,010
Something like that.
588
00:23:06,016 --> 00:23:08,016
Well, I'll see you
in the Hamptons
589
00:23:08,019 --> 00:23:09,019
or back in the city.
590
00:23:10,006 --> 00:23:13,016
I-- I promise to call
when I get back into town.
591
00:23:25,008 --> 00:23:26,008
Carrie?
592
00:23:27,017 --> 00:23:28,997
Are you okay?
593
00:23:29,012 --> 00:23:32,022
No, I just ran into Big.
594
00:23:33,015 --> 00:23:35,005
He's back from Paris.
595
00:23:35,023 --> 00:23:37,013
He has a new girlfriend.
596
00:23:38,016 --> 00:23:40,006
She's 26.
597
00:23:41,009 --> 00:23:42,999
-Where is he? I didn't see--
-Oh, God.
598
00:23:59,002 --> 00:24:00,022
And then I realized.
599
00:24:00,018 --> 00:24:03,008
Twenty-something girls
are just fabulous,
600
00:24:03,013 --> 00:24:04,023
until you see one
601
00:24:04,020 --> 00:24:06,020
with the man
who broke your heart.