1 00:00:49,013 --> 00:00:52,023 I ran into my friend Skipper on the street the other day. 2 00:00:52,021 --> 00:00:54,001 He was bruised and frantic. 3 00:00:54,005 --> 00:00:55,995 He'd just broken up with another girl. 4 00:00:56,004 --> 00:00:58,004 I mean, I thought everything was going fine. 5 00:00:58,006 --> 00:01:00,006 That's when they tiptoe up and clobber you. 6 00:01:00,012 --> 00:01:02,022 Well, what did she say she thought was wrong? 7 00:01:03,012 --> 00:01:05,022 Skipper, you're a very sweet guy. 8 00:01:06,005 --> 00:01:07,015 I mean, this isn't about anything you did. 9 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,010 It's just that we're in very different places right now. 10 00:01:11,014 --> 00:01:13,024 We want different things from life. 11 00:01:13,022 --> 00:01:16,002 I feel like I need to spend more time alone. 12 00:01:16,004 --> 00:01:18,014 So, actually, we want the same thing. 13 00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:20,011 We both want to spend more time with you. 14 00:01:20,014 --> 00:01:21,024 Three months before that 15 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,020 it was a dental hygienist named Tiffany. 16 00:01:24,005 --> 00:01:26,005 The timing is wrong, that's all. 17 00:01:26,021 --> 00:01:29,001 You're one of the nicest guys I've ever known. 18 00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:30,996 It's just that I feel like 19 00:01:31,005 --> 00:01:32,015 I've reached a time in my life 20 00:01:32,023 --> 00:01:35,003 when I need to focus on my career. 21 00:01:35,004 --> 00:01:37,004 And I don't want to feel guilty about that. 22 00:01:37,004 --> 00:01:38,024 But I don't want you to give up your career. 23 00:01:38,023 --> 00:01:40,013 I know, I know. 24 00:01:40,014 --> 00:01:41,024 You've been great. 25 00:01:41,022 --> 00:01:45,002 You really deserve someone who will appreciate you. 26 00:01:45,016 --> 00:01:48,016 I just don't feel like I have anything to give at the moment. 27 00:01:48,021 --> 00:01:51,021 And last year, it was Miranda. 28 00:01:51,021 --> 00:01:54,021 I feel like I need to spend more time alone. 29 00:01:55,021 --> 00:01:57,021 I-- I've just reached a point in my life 30 00:01:58,001 --> 00:02:00,001 where I need to focus on my career. 31 00:02:00,016 --> 00:02:03,006 I just don't think that I have anything to give at the moment. 32 00:02:04,005 --> 00:02:05,995 Skipper, what else can I say? 33 00:02:06,006 --> 00:02:08,016 I have such horrible luck with women. 34 00:02:08,020 --> 00:02:10,010 I totally should've seen this coming. 35 00:02:10,007 --> 00:02:11,007 But, of course, I didn't. 36 00:02:11,016 --> 00:02:13,006 Because they wait for you 37 00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:15,007 to get relaxed, and get comfortable, 38 00:02:15,011 --> 00:02:18,011 before they bring the ice pick down right between your eyes. 39 00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,013 Not all women. 40 00:02:19,011 --> 00:02:20,011 Just the types of women 41 00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:21,024 you seem to be attracted to. 42 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,020 Yeah, over, and over, and over again. 43 00:02:24,023 --> 00:02:27,023 Well, those ladies don't know what they're missing 44 00:02:27,018 --> 00:02:29,008 and missing, and missing. 45 00:02:29,012 --> 00:02:31,012 Skipper's pattern was clear to both of us... 46 00:02:31,016 --> 00:02:34,006 He was a sweet guy who was perpetually attracted to women 47 00:02:34,013 --> 00:02:36,013 who were looking for jerks. 48 00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:38,020 Later that night, on a date across town, 49 00:02:38,017 --> 00:02:40,997 Miranda was repeating a pattern of her own. 50 00:02:41,004 --> 00:02:42,014 She had been dating a lawyer she met 51 00:02:42,014 --> 00:02:44,014 when they got into a big fight in court. 52 00:02:44,016 --> 00:02:46,016 A frequent guest on MSNBC, 53 00:02:46,020 --> 00:02:48,020 Kevin was not just argumentative, 54 00:02:48,022 --> 00:02:50,022 he was an anger professional. 55 00:02:50,020 --> 00:02:53,000 You know, I think I gotta revise my opinion 56 00:02:53,004 --> 00:02:56,014 that you gotta be an idiot to want to go out to a movie these days. 57 00:02:56,007 --> 00:02:57,017 I mean, it was worth the 19 bucks, 58 00:02:58,001 --> 00:03:00,001 plus ten dollars in snacks and water 59 00:03:00,006 --> 00:03:01,996 just to hear that bus driver behind us 60 00:03:02,002 --> 00:03:03,022 explaining filmmaking to his wife. 61 00:03:03,018 --> 00:03:05,018 He certainly had some wonderful insights to share. 62 00:03:05,021 --> 00:03:07,011 But at least, on the bright side, 63 00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:08,007 it was an interesting movie, right? 64 00:03:08,016 --> 00:03:10,006 Yeah, right! It was a real Citizen Kane . 65 00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:11,015 Well, I thought the actor who played "Carlo" 66 00:03:11,023 --> 00:03:13,003 was kind of charming. 67 00:03:13,006 --> 00:03:14,016 That moron looks like he walked into work 68 00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:16,999 before the anesthesia wore off from his lobotomy. 69 00:03:17,005 --> 00:03:19,995 All right, all right, I'll just get us a cab, okay? 70 00:03:20,012 --> 00:03:21,012 Taxi! 71 00:03:21,010 --> 00:03:22,010 You gotta face uptown 72 00:03:22,008 --> 00:03:23,018 to get a cab around here. 73 00:03:24,001 --> 00:03:26,001 I've caught plenty of cabs this way. 74 00:03:26,005 --> 00:03:27,005 Yeah, in never-never land, 75 00:03:27,009 --> 00:03:28,009 where people constantly confuse 76 00:03:28,015 --> 00:03:30,015 a complete lack of talent with charm. 77 00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:34,022 Come on, Gene Shalit, get in the damn cab. 78 00:03:35,023 --> 00:03:37,003 Come on. 79 00:03:38,015 --> 00:03:39,995 Get in, sore loser. 80 00:03:40,004 --> 00:03:41,024 Come on, in. 81 00:03:42,015 --> 00:03:44,005 -In, come on. -Jesus! 82 00:03:44,013 --> 00:03:47,003 Miranda hated how he ordered her around 83 00:03:47,003 --> 00:03:48,013 and told her what do... 84 00:03:48,016 --> 00:03:50,006 Every place except one. 85 00:03:51,012 --> 00:03:53,012 Put your hands up over your head. 86 00:03:57,016 --> 00:03:59,006 Spread your legs. 87 00:04:10,008 --> 00:04:11,998 The weird thing is 88 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:15,022 when he tells me what to do in life, it drives me crazy. 89 00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:18,011 But when he tells me what to do during sex, 90 00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,018 it really drives me crazy. 91 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,010 It's totally hot! 92 00:04:21,014 --> 00:04:22,024 That looks like a good spot. 93 00:04:23,005 --> 00:04:24,995 Everybody, check for park poo. 94 00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:26,013 I mean, isn't that funny? 95 00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:29,020 That what I hate in life, I love in sex? 96 00:04:29,021 --> 00:04:33,021 So how about if you limit your contact with him to just sex? 97 00:04:33,019 --> 00:04:35,019 Oh, that's a nice, healthy relationship. 98 00:04:35,023 --> 00:04:38,013 The thing is, I'm not ready yet to throw in the towel. 99 00:04:38,013 --> 00:04:40,023 No, you're just ready to wrap it around his neck. 100 00:04:41,022 --> 00:04:43,012 He's going through a very stressful time, 101 00:04:43,014 --> 00:04:45,014 waiting to make partner at his firm. 102 00:04:45,011 --> 00:04:46,011 When that finally works out, 103 00:04:46,015 --> 00:04:48,005 I think maybe he'll lighten up a bit. 104 00:04:48,008 --> 00:04:49,998 Or maybe you should just face the fact 105 00:04:50,004 --> 00:04:51,024 that you're attracted to angry guys. 106 00:04:51,019 --> 00:04:52,019 Deviled eggs? 107 00:04:52,021 --> 00:04:54,011 Wait a second... hold the eggs! 108 00:04:54,011 --> 00:04:56,021 What about Skipper? He never got angry. 109 00:04:56,022 --> 00:04:58,012 Yeah, and you dumped him. Fits a pattern. 110 00:04:58,016 --> 00:04:59,016 I don't have a pattern. 111 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,020 In math, randomness is considered a pattern. 112 00:05:01,019 --> 00:05:04,999 Yes, and I'm what they call a prime number. 113 00:05:05,003 --> 00:05:07,013 She's got a very obvious pattern, you know. 114 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,005 I do? What? Tell me! 115 00:05:09,016 --> 00:05:12,016 You wait for a perfect guy to ask you on a perfect date... 116 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:16,010 And when he does, you project this huge fantasy on him, 117 00:05:16,012 --> 00:05:18,022 setting up these enormous expectations... 118 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:20,998 Which promptly blow up in your pretty little face. 119 00:05:21,004 --> 00:05:23,024 You put all your deviled eggs in one basket, so to speak. 120 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,013 That's a horrible pattern. 121 00:05:25,015 --> 00:05:27,015 Well, spread it around a little more. 122 00:05:27,019 --> 00:05:28,999 Date a few guys at once 123 00:05:29,005 --> 00:05:31,005 and then you won't feel so disappointed. 124 00:05:31,011 --> 00:05:32,021 Are you asking Charlotte to juggle? 125 00:05:32,018 --> 00:05:35,008 It's all about multi-tasking. 126 00:05:35,008 --> 00:05:36,998 None of us can afford to fall into this 127 00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,014 "one man at a time" pattern. 128 00:05:38,016 --> 00:05:41,006 I mean, look at how much time you wasted with Big. 129 00:05:41,014 --> 00:05:43,004 Yeah, but Big was an aberration. 130 00:05:43,005 --> 00:05:44,015 Next time I meet a handsome, wealthy, 131 00:05:44,021 --> 00:05:47,001 and emotionally unavailable 43-year-old man, 132 00:05:47,005 --> 00:05:48,005 I'll know what to expect. 133 00:05:48,011 --> 00:05:49,011 Will you? 134 00:05:49,008 --> 00:05:50,008 Or will you just make 135 00:05:50,008 --> 00:05:51,018 the same mistake all over again? 136 00:05:51,022 --> 00:05:53,012 I wondered... 137 00:05:53,011 --> 00:05:56,001 were we all just victims of conditioned responses? 138 00:05:56,005 --> 00:05:59,015 Doomed to repeat the same unconscious relationship patterns? 139 00:05:59,023 --> 00:06:01,013 Were we all, in fact, 140 00:06:01,010 --> 00:06:05,010 just dating the same person over and over again? 141 00:06:05,015 --> 00:06:08,005 Well, I guess I have dated quite a few artists. 142 00:06:08,011 --> 00:06:10,021 But I don't think they were all the same person. 143 00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:12,013 Okay, yes, 144 00:06:12,011 --> 00:06:15,011 they were all narcissists with commitment phobias 145 00:06:15,010 --> 00:06:17,000 and substance abuse issues, 146 00:06:17,004 --> 00:06:18,014 but in my opinion, 147 00:06:18,013 --> 00:06:21,013 the painters were very different from the sculptors. 148 00:06:22,001 --> 00:06:24,021 Handsome waspy assholes who treat me like shit. 149 00:06:24,020 --> 00:06:27,010 I only date girls with Sony PlayStations. 150 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,012 Or breasts. 151 00:06:30,021 --> 00:06:32,021 That night, Samantha became acquainted 152 00:06:32,021 --> 00:06:34,021 with the new neighbors next door. 153 00:06:36,015 --> 00:06:37,995 Though she had never met them face to face, 154 00:06:38,005 --> 00:06:40,005 she already knew them intimately. 155 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,023 The idea that someone else was having great sex and flaunting it, 156 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,020 was more than she could bear. 157 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,020 So she decided, if you can't join 'em, 158 00:06:52,004 --> 00:06:53,004 beat it. 159 00:06:55,022 --> 00:06:59,022 It all fit Samantha's pattern to a "T"... 160 00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:01,018 having a wall between her and the person 161 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,011 she was having sex with. 162 00:07:04,018 --> 00:07:06,018 After a few weeks of not seeing Big, 163 00:07:06,018 --> 00:07:10,018 I was beginning to fall into some familiar patterns of my own. 164 00:07:10,018 --> 00:07:13,008 Staying out till 3:00 and sleeping till noon, 165 00:07:13,009 --> 00:07:15,019 ordering take out from the same greasy Chinese, 166 00:07:15,023 --> 00:07:17,013 and calling old friends 167 00:07:17,010 --> 00:07:20,000 who would always be there for me when I was feeling... 168 00:07:20,017 --> 00:07:21,017 restless. 169 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,000 McFadden. 170 00:07:25,004 --> 00:07:26,024 Hey, John, it's Carrie. 171 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,000 Carrie, hey, yeah, how are you? Long time. 172 00:07:30,003 --> 00:07:31,023 Yeah, I know, I know. Listen, um... 173 00:07:31,023 --> 00:07:33,013 I thought if you weren't doing anything, 174 00:07:33,015 --> 00:07:36,005 you might want to meet for a drink after work. 175 00:07:36,013 --> 00:07:37,023 Yeah, sure, that would be great. 176 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,010 Uh, how about um... sixish? 177 00:07:40,007 --> 00:07:41,017 I could probably be there about 6:30. 178 00:07:41,017 --> 00:07:43,007 Perfect, I'll see you then. 179 00:07:48,007 --> 00:07:50,007 That evening, at 6:30 sharp... 180 00:07:53,008 --> 00:07:54,008 Hey. 181 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,007 Hey, wow, it's great to see you. 182 00:07:55,015 --> 00:07:56,995 You, too. -Wow. 183 00:07:57,005 --> 00:07:59,015 Come on in. I was just gonna, um, open up a bottle of red. 184 00:07:59,022 --> 00:08:01,022 Oh, red, yeah, beautiful. 185 00:08:02,006 --> 00:08:05,006 I just, uh... I gotta be somewhere by 8:30. 186 00:08:06,005 --> 00:08:07,015 Oh, that's okay, I've got dinner plans at 8:00. 187 00:08:07,022 --> 00:08:09,002 Oh, okay. 188 00:08:11,016 --> 00:08:12,016 Mmm. 189 00:08:20,010 --> 00:08:24,010 John was as dependable a pal as a gal could ever hope for. 190 00:08:25,012 --> 00:08:28,002 Fun, comfortable, and easy to be with. 191 00:08:28,004 --> 00:08:30,024 The kind of guy who you could shed all inhibitions 192 00:08:30,017 --> 00:08:32,017 and really be yourself around. 193 00:08:32,017 --> 00:08:35,017 No muss... no fuss. 194 00:08:40,003 --> 00:08:41,023 So, how's the uh... 195 00:08:42,018 --> 00:08:43,008 goin'? 196 00:08:43,015 --> 00:08:44,015 Great. 197 00:08:45,006 --> 00:08:46,006 -It's great. -Great. 198 00:08:46,015 --> 00:08:47,005 How's work with you? 199 00:08:47,015 --> 00:08:49,995 Never dull. Never dull. 200 00:08:51,008 --> 00:08:54,008 How's your uh, younger sister doing? 201 00:08:54,008 --> 00:08:55,008 Brother. 202 00:08:56,015 --> 00:09:00,005 The one that moved to, uh... Phoenix? 203 00:09:00,016 --> 00:09:01,006 Tallahassee. 204 00:09:01,013 --> 00:09:03,003 -Right. Right. 205 00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,021 So how- how's he doing down there? 206 00:09:06,001 --> 00:09:07,011 He's doing great, thanks for asking. 207 00:09:07,008 --> 00:09:08,008 -Sure. -Yeah. 208 00:09:13,002 --> 00:09:15,002 And then I realized it. 209 00:09:15,005 --> 00:09:17,005 I didn't have a relationship pattern, 210 00:09:17,009 --> 00:09:19,019 I had a between-relationship pattern. 211 00:09:19,021 --> 00:09:22,011 I always went back to John after every devastating, 212 00:09:22,016 --> 00:09:24,996 soul-shattering, gut-wrenching break up. 213 00:09:25,004 --> 00:09:27,014 He was sweet, handsome, uncomplicated... 214 00:09:27,016 --> 00:09:29,016 A real shot in the arm for my sexual self-esteem. 215 00:09:29,023 --> 00:09:31,023 Thanks for the call, gorgeous. 216 00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,017 Sure put a cherry on my sundae. 217 00:09:38,001 --> 00:09:41,001 Why had I been keeping him on the bench all these years? 218 00:09:41,002 --> 00:09:45,002 Did I really believe a relationship had to be difficult in order to work? 219 00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:50,000 Hey, do you want to have dinner Friday night? 220 00:09:50,015 --> 00:09:51,015 Dinner? 221 00:09:51,018 --> 00:09:53,018 Uh... yeah, sure. 222 00:09:53,023 --> 00:09:56,003 I should check my schedule, but I think I can make it. 223 00:09:56,006 --> 00:09:56,996 Great. 224 00:09:57,004 --> 00:09:58,024 You want to say, like uh... 225 00:09:58,022 --> 00:10:00,012 8:00? 226 00:10:00,007 --> 00:10:01,017 How about 8:15? 227 00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:04,018 And just like that, I broke my pattern. 228 00:10:05,017 --> 00:10:08,017 Carrie, you can't date your fuck buddy. 229 00:10:08,020 --> 00:10:09,020 Mm, say it a little louder. 230 00:10:09,021 --> 00:10:10,021 I don't think the old lady 231 00:10:10,019 --> 00:10:11,999 in the last row heard you. 232 00:10:12,005 --> 00:10:13,015 You're gonna take the only person in your life 233 00:10:13,017 --> 00:10:15,997 that's there purely for sex, no strings attached, 234 00:10:16,004 --> 00:10:17,024 and turn him into a human being? 235 00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:18,020 Why? 236 00:10:19,002 --> 00:10:21,012 Excuse me? "Fuck buddy"? 237 00:10:21,014 --> 00:10:23,014 What is a "fuck buddy"? 238 00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:25,023 -Oh, come on. 239 00:10:26,019 --> 00:10:29,019 A "fuck buddy" is a guy you probably dated once or twice, 240 00:10:29,021 --> 00:10:31,001 and it didn't really go anywhere, 241 00:10:31,004 --> 00:10:32,004 but the sex is so great, 242 00:10:32,003 --> 00:10:34,003 you sort of keep him on call. 243 00:10:34,002 --> 00:10:35,012 Oh, he's like "dial-a-dick." 244 00:10:35,011 --> 00:10:38,021 You-- you mean you just call this guy up 245 00:10:38,019 --> 00:10:41,009 when you're... you know, horny? 246 00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,007 -Mm-hmm. -Yes. 247 00:10:42,011 --> 00:10:43,021 And he just comes right over? 248 00:10:43,022 --> 00:10:45,012 Well, he's not a slave, sweetheart. 249 00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:46,021 He does have a life. 250 00:10:46,019 --> 00:10:48,009 But you don't really have to know about it. 251 00:10:48,012 --> 00:10:50,022 And you're generally guaranteed delivery within Manhattan 252 00:10:50,019 --> 00:10:52,009 in six hours or less. 253 00:10:52,007 --> 00:10:53,017 And you guys all have one? 254 00:10:54,004 --> 00:10:56,004 Well, mine moved to Chicago. 255 00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:57,023 But now we have phone sex. 256 00:10:57,020 --> 00:10:59,010 What's he doing in Chicago? 257 00:10:59,010 --> 00:11:02,000 I have absolutely no idea. 258 00:11:02,002 --> 00:11:04,012 A few moments later, emboldened by our conversation, 259 00:11:04,016 --> 00:11:06,996 and high from too many tantric headstands, 260 00:11:07,006 --> 00:11:10,006 Charlotte asked a man out for the first time. 261 00:11:10,014 --> 00:11:11,024 Man, that class was tough. 262 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,020 I've never sweated so much in my entire life. 263 00:11:15,021 --> 00:11:18,011 Would you like to go out to dinner Friday night? 264 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,012 Sure. 265 00:11:24,018 --> 00:11:25,998 I wondered... 266 00:11:26,003 --> 00:11:27,013 If Charlotte could break her pattern 267 00:11:27,014 --> 00:11:29,014 and start asking out every man in Manhattan, 268 00:11:29,012 --> 00:11:31,022 why couldn't I start having a deeper relationship 269 00:11:31,019 --> 00:11:33,019 with the man I have shallow sex with? 270 00:11:38,014 --> 00:11:39,024 Wow. 271 00:11:39,019 --> 00:11:42,019 You're all dressy. 272 00:11:42,023 --> 00:11:43,023 Yeah. 273 00:11:43,021 --> 00:11:45,021 Well, I guess... 274 00:11:46,016 --> 00:11:47,016 Thanks. 275 00:11:47,022 --> 00:11:49,012 The fact was, I wanted to tell him 276 00:11:49,007 --> 00:11:50,997 that he'd never actually seen me in clothes. 277 00:11:51,005 --> 00:11:53,015 Uh, so do you want a-- a glass of wine first, or do you just want-- 278 00:11:54,001 --> 00:11:56,021 No, I'm fine, thanks. 279 00:11:59,012 --> 00:12:00,022 Hey, wait, wait, wait. 280 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,010 -Wait. -Oh. 281 00:12:02,015 --> 00:12:03,995 I made reservations. 282 00:12:04,006 --> 00:12:05,006 Huh? 283 00:12:05,009 --> 00:12:06,019 At a Sushi restaurant. 284 00:12:06,020 --> 00:12:11,010 Oh. Oh, cool, I see... 285 00:12:11,012 --> 00:12:13,012 No! I mean, God! 286 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,011 I me-- I mean Sushi! 287 00:12:16,021 --> 00:12:18,001 Japa-- Japanese food. 288 00:12:18,006 --> 00:12:21,006 Oh, when you said dinner, you meant dinner. 289 00:12:21,011 --> 00:12:22,021 -Yeah. -Oh, no. 290 00:12:22,017 --> 00:12:24,007 It's just that, whenever we've had dinner, 291 00:12:24,008 --> 00:12:25,008 we've always, you know... 292 00:12:25,008 --> 00:12:26,018 Yeah, I know, I know. 293 00:12:26,019 --> 00:12:27,999 Oh. 294 00:12:28,005 --> 00:12:31,005 All right, I'm gonna-- Um, I'm just gonna get my purse. 295 00:12:31,014 --> 00:12:35,014 Like most first dates, we were off to an awkward start. 296 00:12:44,005 --> 00:12:47,005 Um, the yellowtail sashimi, 297 00:12:47,007 --> 00:12:49,017 two pieces of salmon sushi 298 00:12:49,017 --> 00:12:52,007 and a spicy tuna hand roll. 299 00:12:52,007 --> 00:12:53,017 Oh, do you like eel? 300 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,012 Uh, no way. 301 00:12:55,010 --> 00:12:58,020 I-- I'll have the chicken teriyaki, well done, okay? 302 00:12:58,021 --> 00:13:01,011 No, the sushi's so amazing here. 303 00:13:01,008 --> 00:13:03,008 No, I just-- I can't deal with the raw stuff, 304 00:13:03,009 --> 00:13:04,009 you know, it just doesn't work. 305 00:13:04,009 --> 00:13:05,009 Well, why didn't you tell me? 306 00:13:05,012 --> 00:13:06,012 We could have gone someplace else. 307 00:13:06,013 --> 00:13:07,023 No, don't worry about it. 308 00:13:07,018 --> 00:13:09,008 If I'm hungry, I'll grab a burger after. 309 00:13:09,016 --> 00:13:10,016 Okay. 310 00:13:11,017 --> 00:13:14,007 Oh, hey, hey listen, before I forget, 311 00:13:15,007 --> 00:13:16,997 this is for you. 312 00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:18,023 Well. 313 00:13:18,021 --> 00:13:20,001 Thanks. What is it? 314 00:13:20,003 --> 00:13:21,013 Forty minutes free long distance, 315 00:13:21,013 --> 00:13:24,013 continental U.S., no strings attached. 316 00:13:24,008 --> 00:13:26,008 It's to promote our new 7-7-3 service. 317 00:13:26,015 --> 00:13:28,015 See, seven days, seven hours, 318 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,019 three dollars a day. 319 00:13:31,001 --> 00:13:32,011 Oh, wow. Thank you. 320 00:13:32,007 --> 00:13:33,007 So, you like-- 321 00:13:33,011 --> 00:13:34,011 Think these gimmicks up? 322 00:13:34,015 --> 00:13:36,005 Sort of, I mean, officially, I sell time. 323 00:13:36,014 --> 00:13:37,024 But I get these incentive minutes 324 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,020 which I can distribute at my own discretion. 325 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,020 Oh. So if I'm lucky, 326 00:13:41,022 --> 00:13:43,012 I might get a whole hour next time? 327 00:13:43,011 --> 00:13:44,011 I don't think so. 328 00:13:44,015 --> 00:13:45,995 But if you're currently an MCI customer 329 00:13:46,004 --> 00:13:47,004 and you switch, 330 00:13:47,005 --> 00:13:48,015 then you get two hours for free. 331 00:13:49,006 --> 00:13:50,006 I was kidding. 332 00:13:50,015 --> 00:13:52,005 Oh, right, gotcha. 333 00:13:52,012 --> 00:13:53,022 -Right. 334 00:13:56,007 --> 00:13:59,007 So, maybe we should just, uh, order some sake? 335 00:13:59,014 --> 00:14:01,024 Oh, yeah, sure. Hey, sake to me! 336 00:14:06,001 --> 00:14:09,011 We went back to my place for a quickie. 337 00:14:09,011 --> 00:14:12,021 I needed to erase the stagnant memory of the past two hours. 338 00:14:12,021 --> 00:14:15,021 Was it really possible that someone so stimulating in bed 339 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:18,001 could be so tedious in life? 340 00:14:18,013 --> 00:14:20,013 Ahh! 341 00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,022 Meanwhile, Samantha was actually beginning to look forward 342 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,020 to the company of her new neighbors. 343 00:14:34,019 --> 00:14:35,999 Every night, like clockwork, 344 00:14:36,004 --> 00:14:38,014 right after the end of the 11:00 news... 345 00:14:46,017 --> 00:14:49,007 Samantha relished her role as the invisible guest vocalist 346 00:14:49,016 --> 00:14:51,006 to an unseen band. 347 00:14:57,004 --> 00:14:59,024 Until one night, she wasn't so invisible. 348 00:15:02,005 --> 00:15:04,005 Oh! 349 00:15:17,021 --> 00:15:20,001 That Saturday, Miranda planned for us all to meet 350 00:15:20,005 --> 00:15:21,995 her latest fling for brunch. 351 00:15:22,002 --> 00:15:24,012 Apparently, he had flung himself elsewhere. 352 00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:26,000 He should be here any minute, really. I-- 353 00:15:26,003 --> 00:15:28,013 Hey, don't worry about it, if it's just us, fine. 354 00:15:28,008 --> 00:15:30,018 It's not like we've got anywhere else to go. 355 00:15:30,022 --> 00:15:32,012 I do, I have a date tonight. 356 00:15:32,009 --> 00:15:33,009 With whom? 357 00:15:33,008 --> 00:15:34,018 That yoga guy. 358 00:15:34,018 --> 00:15:35,018 I asked him out. 359 00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:37,018 -Mmm! -Wow, I'm impressed. 360 00:15:37,022 --> 00:15:39,022 You know, once I broke the ice with him, 361 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:41,002 it was just like riding a bike. 362 00:15:41,013 --> 00:15:42,023 I have so many dates this week, 363 00:15:42,021 --> 00:15:44,011 that I had to schedule two in one night. 364 00:15:44,016 --> 00:15:46,016 -You double-booked? -Well, I had to. 365 00:15:46,021 --> 00:15:48,021 This one guy was going out of town for three weeks, 366 00:15:48,017 --> 00:15:50,007 and the other guy, I didn't want to cancel. 367 00:15:50,011 --> 00:15:52,011 So how do you conceive pulling this one off? 368 00:15:52,009 --> 00:15:53,999 Early dinner with bachelor number one, 369 00:15:54,002 --> 00:15:55,022 late supper with bachelor number two. 370 00:15:55,018 --> 00:15:57,998 My God, you're turning into a man. 371 00:15:58,006 --> 00:16:01,006 Apparently, Charlotte had done more than break a pattern. 372 00:16:01,007 --> 00:16:03,007 She had actually changed genders. 373 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,020 I just don't know how I'm ever gonna eat two dinners in a row. 374 00:16:06,022 --> 00:16:10,002 And then, just like that, she was a woman again. 375 00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:11,023 Sorry, babe. The idiot who drove me here 376 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,020 apparently passed his driving test in Bangladesh. 377 00:16:15,009 --> 00:16:17,999 I'm just happy to get off that fuckin' rickshaw in one piece. 378 00:16:18,006 --> 00:16:19,016 -Kevin, this is Carrie... -Hey. 379 00:16:20,001 --> 00:16:21,011 ...and Samantha, and Charlotte. 380 00:16:21,016 --> 00:16:22,996 -This is Kevin. -Ah, it's nice to meet ya. 381 00:16:23,002 --> 00:16:24,012 I-- I have to go make a quick phone call, 382 00:16:24,008 --> 00:16:25,008 I'll be right back. 383 00:16:25,009 --> 00:16:27,019 Waitress! Draft beer here! 384 00:16:29,009 --> 00:16:30,009 He's cute. 385 00:16:30,009 --> 00:16:32,009 In a tightly wound sort of way. 386 00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:35,010 He's finding out on Tuesday whether he made partner. 387 00:16:35,013 --> 00:16:36,023 I'm keeping my fingers crossed 388 00:16:36,019 --> 00:16:38,019 that he'll unwind some after that. 389 00:16:43,013 --> 00:16:44,023 What are you doing? 390 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,020 I just-- I don't want him going off on the waitress. 391 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,020 That evening, Charlotte set out to break her pattern. 392 00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:54,010 A casual meal with Eric from yoga, 393 00:16:54,009 --> 00:16:57,009 where they discovered a mutual love for long drives up Maine coasts, 394 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,016 and reruns of Nanny and the Professor . 395 00:16:59,020 --> 00:17:01,000 She was psychic, wasn't she? 396 00:17:01,003 --> 00:17:02,003 Absolutely. 397 00:17:02,002 --> 00:17:03,012 No, but it was very subtle, 398 00:17:03,007 --> 00:17:04,007 very sophisticated. 399 00:17:04,018 --> 00:17:07,008 I don't even think that kids today would understand it. 400 00:17:07,012 --> 00:17:10,002 No. I tell you something, when I have kids, 401 00:17:10,005 --> 00:17:12,005 I'm gonna be a total Nazi with the remote. 402 00:17:12,015 --> 00:17:13,015 I want them to read. 403 00:17:13,018 --> 00:17:15,008 How many kids do you want to have? 404 00:17:15,016 --> 00:17:16,006 Two. 405 00:17:16,014 --> 00:17:17,014 One of each. 406 00:17:17,015 --> 00:17:18,995 -Sounds perfect. 407 00:17:19,006 --> 00:17:21,006 Just as Charlotte began to swim in visions 408 00:17:21,013 --> 00:17:23,023 of family summers in Kennebunkport, 409 00:17:23,019 --> 00:17:26,009 she realized she was late for the second shift. 410 00:17:26,010 --> 00:17:27,010 Oh, my God. 411 00:17:28,009 --> 00:17:29,009 What's wrong? 412 00:17:31,023 --> 00:17:35,003 My throat. It-- it's so sore. 413 00:17:35,005 --> 00:17:38,005 I've just been fighting this, uh, cold all week. 414 00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:41,003 Oh, well, let, let me get the check. 415 00:17:41,006 --> 00:17:42,016 I'm, I'm so sorry. 416 00:17:43,008 --> 00:17:45,008 I had a really great time. 417 00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:49,000 Yeah. Me, too. 418 00:17:49,005 --> 00:17:51,995 While Charlotte was off to her next engagement, 419 00:17:52,002 --> 00:17:55,002 Samantha was imagining an engagement of her own. 420 00:18:02,020 --> 00:18:04,020 Excuse me, Jesus! 421 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:09,003 Hi, I was just wondering, 422 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,015 do you know who lives in that apartment right there? 423 00:18:12,009 --> 00:18:16,009 Yes, yes, very nice. 424 00:18:17,006 --> 00:18:19,016 Musician, his wife, a dancer. 425 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,000 Really? 426 00:18:21,006 --> 00:18:23,016 And are they... nice looking? 427 00:18:24,010 --> 00:18:27,010 Yes, very nice. 428 00:18:28,009 --> 00:18:29,009 Very good. 429 00:18:29,011 --> 00:18:31,021 Okay, then. Carry on. 430 00:18:35,009 --> 00:18:38,009 Later that night, Charlotte was returning from a second dinner 431 00:18:38,011 --> 00:18:41,011 of steamed mussels and french fries with bachelor number two, 432 00:18:41,010 --> 00:18:43,010 an art-loving commodities broker. 433 00:18:43,007 --> 00:18:44,017 -Hey, I had a really great time. -Hey. 434 00:18:45,001 --> 00:18:46,001 Me, too. 435 00:18:46,004 --> 00:18:47,014 Oh. 436 00:18:47,013 --> 00:18:49,013 Excuse me. 437 00:18:49,013 --> 00:18:52,013 So, can I call you? 438 00:18:52,007 --> 00:18:53,007 Definitely. 439 00:18:53,016 --> 00:18:54,016 Okay. 440 00:19:02,006 --> 00:19:03,016 Charlotte? 441 00:19:04,003 --> 00:19:06,013 Eric... what are you, what are you doing here? 442 00:19:06,016 --> 00:19:08,016 I was just leaving you some chicken soup, 443 00:19:08,019 --> 00:19:10,009 for your throat. 444 00:19:10,014 --> 00:19:12,014 But I see you've healed. 445 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:14,010 Who is this guy? 446 00:19:14,010 --> 00:19:16,020 I'm the guy she had dinner with before you. 447 00:19:17,017 --> 00:19:18,997 You... you double-booked us? 448 00:19:19,006 --> 00:19:20,006 Hey, hey, don't feel bad, bud. 449 00:19:20,016 --> 00:19:21,016 At least you got the late shift. 450 00:19:21,021 --> 00:19:23,001 I mean, you get to take her upstairs. 451 00:19:23,005 --> 00:19:24,015 I don't think so. 452 00:19:24,017 --> 00:19:27,007 Hey, you know what? Enjoy the soup. 453 00:19:28,010 --> 00:19:29,020 Hey, you goin' uptown? 454 00:19:30,012 --> 00:19:31,022 Yeah, West Side. 455 00:19:31,019 --> 00:19:32,999 Wanna share a cab? 456 00:19:33,011 --> 00:19:35,011 Sure. 457 00:19:35,012 --> 00:19:38,012 From that moment on, Charlotte developed a new pattern. 458 00:19:38,008 --> 00:19:40,008 She made it a rule never to take advice 459 00:19:40,010 --> 00:19:42,000 from her friends again. 460 00:19:45,010 --> 00:19:46,020 Very late that night, 461 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,020 Samantha decided to roll out the welcome mat 462 00:19:49,017 --> 00:19:51,007 for her new neighbors. 463 00:19:56,023 --> 00:19:58,013 The musician and the dancer 464 00:19:58,015 --> 00:20:01,015 turned out to be a middle-aged Eastern European couple. 465 00:20:01,023 --> 00:20:04,023 He played in a polka band, she was a dancer... 466 00:20:04,023 --> 00:20:06,023 once upon a time. 467 00:20:06,017 --> 00:20:07,997 Samantha? 468 00:20:08,011 --> 00:20:12,011 Would you mind keeping it down? 469 00:20:12,023 --> 00:20:15,013 I'm trying to get some sleep. 470 00:20:17,001 --> 00:20:19,011 Samantha broke a pattern after all. 471 00:20:21,014 --> 00:20:24,004 She decided to move her bed to the opposite wall. 472 00:20:25,020 --> 00:20:28,010 Later that week, Kevin experienced a dream come true. 473 00:20:28,015 --> 00:20:31,995 He was made a full partner at the law firm where he worked. 474 00:20:32,004 --> 00:20:33,024 He took Miranda out to celebrate. 475 00:20:35,013 --> 00:20:36,023 A toast. 476 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,020 To a very happy occasion. 477 00:20:38,020 --> 00:20:41,010 Yeah. I'm falling all over myself with glee. 478 00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:42,020 Now I get to work 60 hours a week 479 00:20:42,022 --> 00:20:44,022 for pretty much the same salary. I'm walking on air. 480 00:20:45,001 --> 00:20:47,011 Can't we enjoy your success for one fucking second? 481 00:20:47,007 --> 00:20:49,017 You know, it just pisses me off you don't get how much pressure I'm under. 482 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,010 You really do live in never-never land, don't ya? 483 00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:56,009 And by the way, 484 00:20:56,008 --> 00:20:58,008 if there's a difference between this $100 bottle of champagne 485 00:20:58,013 --> 00:20:59,023 and the crap they sell for 29 bucks, 486 00:21:00,001 --> 00:21:01,011 it takes a more delicate palate than mine to detect it, 487 00:21:01,015 --> 00:21:02,015 I don't know. 488 00:21:02,018 --> 00:21:03,018 Well, I like the champagne, 489 00:21:04,001 --> 00:21:05,021 and the bread is fabulous. 490 00:21:05,018 --> 00:21:08,008 Oh, my God, look at those flowers. 491 00:21:08,015 --> 00:21:09,015 Don't piss me off. 492 00:21:13,017 --> 00:21:14,017 Where are you goin'? 493 00:21:15,006 --> 00:21:16,006 Back to never-never land. 494 00:21:16,016 --> 00:21:20,006 And by the way, never, never call me again. 495 00:21:20,013 --> 00:21:21,013 Have a nice day. 496 00:21:21,023 --> 00:21:23,003 What? 497 00:21:23,003 --> 00:21:24,013 Miranda broke her pattern 498 00:21:24,013 --> 00:21:26,023 in a way that she had never expected. 499 00:21:26,021 --> 00:21:30,021 The angry guy had turned her into a cockeyed optimist. 500 00:21:30,018 --> 00:21:32,998 There could not have been a more perfect moment 501 00:21:33,004 --> 00:21:36,004 for her to run into Skipper for the first time since she'd dumped him. 502 00:21:36,005 --> 00:21:37,995 Hey, Skipper! 503 00:21:39,012 --> 00:21:40,022 Hey, slow down a minute. 504 00:21:40,021 --> 00:21:43,001 Hey, you know what? Don't tell me what to do, okay? 505 00:21:43,013 --> 00:21:45,013 I just wanted to say hello. 506 00:21:45,009 --> 00:21:46,009 How've you been? 507 00:21:47,003 --> 00:21:48,013 How've I been? 508 00:21:48,010 --> 00:21:50,000 You know, you got a lot of nerve talking to me 509 00:21:50,005 --> 00:21:53,015 like nothing happened, ever since you tossed me out like bad milk. 510 00:21:53,018 --> 00:21:55,008 You know, I'll tell you how I've been, friggin' wonderful, 511 00:21:55,016 --> 00:21:57,006 now that I've got you out of my system. 512 00:21:57,014 --> 00:21:59,024 Well, can't I just talk to you for a minute? 513 00:22:00,006 --> 00:22:02,006 Could I buy you a beer or something? 514 00:22:02,014 --> 00:22:05,014 Miranda had never seen him as angry as this before. 515 00:22:05,007 --> 00:22:07,017 Much to her horror, she was attracted. 516 00:22:07,018 --> 00:22:08,998 That's the thing about patterns. 517 00:22:09,006 --> 00:22:11,006 They don't just break because you tell them to. 518 00:22:11,013 --> 00:22:13,023 Have you been working out? 519 00:22:13,023 --> 00:22:17,023 And a few nights later, John and I went out for a movie. 520 00:22:17,022 --> 00:22:20,022 I refused to believe that a passionate sexual connection 521 00:22:20,021 --> 00:22:24,021 could not be translated into a meaningful friendship, at the very least. 522 00:22:25,012 --> 00:22:26,022 So did you like the movie? 523 00:22:26,021 --> 00:22:28,001 Was it a comedy? 524 00:22:28,009 --> 00:22:30,009 -No. -I didn't think so. 525 00:22:32,001 --> 00:22:34,011 Isn't this the most amazing block? 526 00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:37,000 All these brownstones are over 100 years old. 527 00:22:37,005 --> 00:22:38,015 You know, it's like being in the New York 528 00:22:38,019 --> 00:22:41,019 of Edith Wharton and Henry James. 529 00:22:41,021 --> 00:22:43,001 Yeah. 530 00:22:43,011 --> 00:22:47,011 Sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am to live right here. 531 00:22:51,022 --> 00:22:52,022 What? 532 00:22:53,013 --> 00:22:55,013 Your tits look really great in that thing. 533 00:22:55,011 --> 00:22:59,011 At that moment, I knew we only had two things in common. 534 00:22:59,010 --> 00:23:01,010 Listen, I'd invite you in, but... 535 00:23:01,008 --> 00:23:03,008 -No, that's okay. 536 00:23:03,012 --> 00:23:05,012 I got to be up really early tomorrow, so... 537 00:23:06,009 --> 00:23:07,019 Okay. 538 00:23:13,014 --> 00:23:14,024 I'll call you. 539 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,010 Goodnight. 540 00:23:18,023 --> 00:23:21,013 I knew it was the last time we'd ever see each other. 541 00:23:25,002 --> 00:23:29,012 And just like that, I was thrown right back into my old pattern... 542 00:23:29,010 --> 00:23:33,010 greasy Chinese, sleeping till noon, 543 00:23:33,009 --> 00:23:34,999 and feeling... 544 00:23:35,004 --> 00:23:36,014 restless.