1 00:00:48,007 --> 00:00:51,008 [Carrie] My friend, Miranda, was dating Thomas John Anderson, 2 00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:53,017 an up and coming New York playwright. 3 00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:58,022 Oh, God! 4 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:02,017 [breathing heavily] That was wonderful. 5 00:01:02,019 --> 00:01:05,018 [Carrie] Things were going great except for one thing. 6 00:01:05,020 --> 00:01:07,013 I'll be right back. 7 00:01:09,008 --> 00:01:11,002 [Carrie] Immediately after sex, 8 00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:13,023 he'd hop out of bed and shower. 9 00:01:14,001 --> 00:01:15,021 [shower running] 10 00:01:16,012 --> 00:01:22,016 Oh, God! 11 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:25,023 Wow! 12 00:01:26,016 --> 00:01:27,016 Be right back. 13 00:01:27,018 --> 00:01:30,001 [Carrie] Night after night, it was the same thing. 14 00:01:30,003 --> 00:01:34,012 Oh, God! 15 00:01:37,003 --> 00:01:39,000 -I'll be right-- -Yeah. 16 00:01:39,002 --> 00:01:41,013 [Carrie] She decided to confront Thomas John Anderson 17 00:01:41,015 --> 00:01:43,006 as soon as he dried off. 18 00:01:47,005 --> 00:01:50,009 So, what's with the showers? 19 00:01:51,006 --> 00:01:52,012 What do you mean? 20 00:01:52,014 --> 00:01:55,004 You always get up and shower right after we're done. 21 00:01:55,006 --> 00:01:57,007 I'm starting to feel like it's me. 22 00:01:57,009 --> 00:02:00,007 Oh, no, no, no, it's not you. 23 00:02:00,009 --> 00:02:01,019 It's just... 24 00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:02,023 What? 25 00:02:03,001 --> 00:02:04,008 Just a habit I have. 26 00:02:04,010 --> 00:02:08,001 Growing up, the nuns told us that sex was a sin, 27 00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:12,014 so I just got into the habit of taking a shower after I... 28 00:02:12,016 --> 00:02:13,018 you know, came. 29 00:02:13,020 --> 00:02:15,006 Oh, the nuns. 30 00:02:15,008 --> 00:02:19,012 [Carrie] Miranda suddenly realized she was dating "Catholic guy." 31 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:21,009 So you think the water serves as 32 00:02:21,011 --> 00:02:23,018 a retro baptism kind of thing? 33 00:02:23,020 --> 00:02:25,013 Beats me, if I'd known he was Catholic, 34 00:02:25,015 --> 00:02:27,014 I never would've gone out with him in the first place. 35 00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:29,006 They should make them wear a sign. 36 00:02:29,008 --> 00:02:30,016 [Carrie] Single people in New York 37 00:02:30,018 --> 00:02:33,001 rarely ask about their dates' religious backgrounds 38 00:02:33,003 --> 00:02:34,018 for the same reason they don't ask 39 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:37,006 the number of former sex partners, too scary. 40 00:02:37,008 --> 00:02:40,000 I mean, he's a rational, logical guy 41 00:02:40,002 --> 00:02:42,006 in every respect but this. 42 00:02:42,008 --> 00:02:44,012 Clean, you forgot clean. He's a clean guy. 43 00:02:44,014 --> 00:02:46,021 Leave it to me to find the only religious guy 44 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,014 still left in Manhattan. 45 00:02:48,016 --> 00:02:51,006 [Carrie] New York is a city filled with places to worship, 46 00:02:51,008 --> 00:02:52,023 but it recently dawned on me, 47 00:02:53,001 --> 00:02:56,005 the only time I ever heard anyone mention going into one 48 00:02:56,007 --> 00:02:58,014 was for a singles mixer. 49 00:02:58,016 --> 00:03:02,006 Are relationships the religion of the 90's? 50 00:03:02,008 --> 00:03:05,002 Having been raised in the church of "Be nice to people 51 00:03:05,004 --> 00:03:07,003 and don't talk with your mouth full," 52 00:03:07,005 --> 00:03:10,003 I decided to check out some more traditional religious types 53 00:03:10,005 --> 00:03:11,015 in their natural habitat. 54 00:03:11,017 --> 00:03:13,009 As I watched people leaving church, 55 00:03:13,011 --> 00:03:15,008 I was amazed at how they looked. 56 00:03:15,010 --> 00:03:17,003 Valentino, Escada, 57 00:03:17,005 --> 00:03:18,018 Oscar de la Renta. 58 00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:20,017 What is it about God and fashion 59 00:03:20,019 --> 00:03:22,016 that go so well together? 60 00:03:22,018 --> 00:03:26,015 And suddenly, there he was wearing Armani on Sunday... 61 00:03:27,008 --> 00:03:29,011 Mr. Big. 62 00:03:29,013 --> 00:03:31,007 I admit it was kind of a shock. 63 00:03:31,009 --> 00:03:35,003 Up until that moment, I thought he only believed in the Yankees. 64 00:03:41,017 --> 00:03:43,017 Well, hello there, church-goer. 65 00:03:43,019 --> 00:03:45,010 Hey... 66 00:03:45,012 --> 00:03:47,015 What are you doing here? 67 00:03:47,017 --> 00:03:49,000 Research. 68 00:03:49,002 --> 00:03:51,014 I'm doing a column on closet Presbyterians. 69 00:03:51,016 --> 00:03:52,014 You know any? 70 00:03:52,016 --> 00:03:54,001 Actually, I'm an atheist, 71 00:03:54,003 --> 00:03:56,010 but don't tell that to the minister. 72 00:03:56,012 --> 00:03:58,005 Who's the mystery woman? 73 00:03:59,022 --> 00:04:00,021 My mother. 74 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,008 I take her to church every Sunday. 75 00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:06,009 Really? 76 00:04:06,011 --> 00:04:07,022 I'm so loving that. 77 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,001 How come you never told me? 78 00:04:10,003 --> 00:04:12,019 Well, you write every Sunday, so... 79 00:04:12,021 --> 00:04:16,008 So, every Sunday... church. 80 00:04:16,010 --> 00:04:17,021 Right. 81 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,019 [both laughing] 82 00:04:21,021 --> 00:04:23,021 You know, I've got 20 minutes before my racquetball game. 83 00:04:23,023 --> 00:04:25,015 Why don't we have a cup of coffee? 84 00:04:25,017 --> 00:04:26,023 Oh, I can't, I'm on deadline 85 00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:30,000 and this cappuccino just kicked in, so... 86 00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:32,003 So? 87 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,009 Bye. 88 00:04:36,016 --> 00:04:37,023 God bless. 89 00:04:38,001 --> 00:04:40,006 It was one of those awkward relationship moments 90 00:04:40,008 --> 00:04:42,008 where you feel like you know nothing about 91 00:04:42,010 --> 00:04:45,011 the person you thought you knew everything about. 92 00:04:45,013 --> 00:04:47,003 He goes to church with his mother? 93 00:04:47,005 --> 00:04:49,011 -That can't be good. -Oh, don't listen to her. 94 00:04:49,013 --> 00:04:52,012 A man who cares about his mother makes a wonderful husband. 95 00:04:52,014 --> 00:04:53,019 I think it's sweet. 96 00:04:53,021 --> 00:04:55,002 Sure, all religions are sweet 97 00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:57,005 until you get to that shower after sex phase. 98 00:04:57,007 --> 00:04:58,021 Oh, my God, is he still doing that? 99 00:04:58,023 --> 00:05:00,016 Please, it's amazing he has any skin left. 100 00:05:00,018 --> 00:05:02,017 Well, have you tried taking a shower with him? 101 00:05:02,019 --> 00:05:05,017 No, I'm afraid he'll pull out garlic and a cross. 102 00:05:05,019 --> 00:05:08,014 So which church does his mother go to? 103 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,021 Park Avenue Presbyterian. 104 00:05:09,023 --> 00:05:10,022 Good church. 105 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,017 It's one of the best on the east side. 106 00:05:12,019 --> 00:05:13,023 What are you rating churches? 107 00:05:14,001 --> 00:05:15,008 Is there a Zagat guide for that? 108 00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:16,016 Four stars, great bread, 109 00:05:16,018 --> 00:05:18,005 disappointing wine selection. 110 00:05:18,007 --> 00:05:21,016 The thing is, I'm dying to meet his mother. 111 00:05:21,018 --> 00:05:22,020 Can you imagine? 112 00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:24,022 Getting on the good side of his mother 113 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,014 is like closing the deal. 114 00:05:26,016 --> 00:05:27,021 Hey, I'm sorry I'm late. 115 00:05:27,023 --> 00:05:29,008 [Carrie] Well, it's about time. 116 00:05:29,010 --> 00:05:31,012 I just had a five hour lunch with James. 117 00:05:31,014 --> 00:05:33,013 Five hour lunches, I remember those. 118 00:05:33,015 --> 00:05:36,005 Ladies, I have an announcement. 119 00:05:36,007 --> 00:05:38,000 Please don't laugh. 120 00:05:38,002 --> 00:05:39,001 What? 121 00:05:39,021 --> 00:05:41,019 -I'm in love. -What? 122 00:05:41,021 --> 00:05:44,010 [Carrie] Samantha uttering those words to us 123 00:05:44,012 --> 00:05:46,019 was an event as unfathomable 124 00:05:46,021 --> 00:05:50,008 as Moses parting the Red Sea. 125 00:05:50,010 --> 00:05:52,018 It all started a couple of weeks ago 126 00:05:52,020 --> 00:05:54,023 on a particularly blah Wednesday night. 127 00:05:55,001 --> 00:05:56,021 Samantha decided to treat herself 128 00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:58,023 to a night of great music. 129 00:06:02,006 --> 00:06:05,013 I couldn't help but notice how you move to the music. 130 00:06:05,015 --> 00:06:07,012 It's beautiful. 131 00:06:07,014 --> 00:06:09,013 Well, I love jazz. 132 00:06:09,015 --> 00:06:11,014 That's pretty clear. 133 00:06:11,016 --> 00:06:14,004 Are you a musician? 134 00:06:14,019 --> 00:06:16,015 Yeah. 135 00:06:16,017 --> 00:06:18,017 Trapped in the body of a lawyer. 136 00:06:18,019 --> 00:06:21,012 Well, we won't tell anyone. 137 00:06:22,017 --> 00:06:24,014 May I join you? 138 00:06:25,012 --> 00:06:26,020 Sure. 139 00:06:31,019 --> 00:06:33,016 [Carrie] After they closed the jazz joint, 140 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,010 they walked and talked for blocks. 141 00:06:35,012 --> 00:06:37,023 You have to at least try one of the glazed. 142 00:06:38,001 --> 00:06:39,020 It's a little bit of heaven. 143 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,002 Mmm, heavenly. 144 00:06:43,004 --> 00:06:45,011 And I never thought I'd get there. 145 00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:47,011 Why not? 146 00:06:47,013 --> 00:06:49,001 An angel like you? 147 00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:52,006 [Carrie] And then Samantha did something 148 00:06:52,008 --> 00:06:54,010 rather shocking for a first date. 149 00:06:54,012 --> 00:06:56,008 She didn't ask him home. 150 00:06:57,004 --> 00:06:58,018 Thanks, James. 151 00:06:58,020 --> 00:07:02,011 I had a wonderful time. 152 00:07:02,013 --> 00:07:04,014 Can I see you again? 153 00:07:05,018 --> 00:07:07,003 I'd love that. 154 00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:11,014 [Carrie] And with that one touch, 155 00:07:11,016 --> 00:07:15,000 Samantha, who was never a believer in relationships, 156 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:17,002 suddenly became a convert. 157 00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:18,019 I mean, I'd totally given up on the idea 158 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,019 that you could actually talk to men. 159 00:07:20,021 --> 00:07:22,006 Hey, don't spread that around. 160 00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:24,004 Before James, all my conversations 161 00:07:24,006 --> 00:07:26,000 consisted of two sentences. 162 00:07:26,002 --> 00:07:29,003 "Give it to me" and "Go home." 163 00:07:29,005 --> 00:07:31,003 And I owe it all to Charlotte. 164 00:07:31,005 --> 00:07:32,011 Me? 165 00:07:32,013 --> 00:07:34,003 What did I do? 166 00:07:34,005 --> 00:07:35,019 All that bullshit you spout 167 00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:38,021 about not sleeping with men right away actually paid off. 168 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,004 I mean, if I'd fucked James already, 169 00:07:41,006 --> 00:07:42,015 who knows where we'd be. 170 00:07:42,017 --> 00:07:44,019 Wait, you haven't had sex yet? 171 00:07:44,021 --> 00:07:45,021 Soon. 172 00:07:46,023 --> 00:07:48,002 You know, 173 00:07:48,004 --> 00:07:51,010 I think he's someone I could actually marry. 174 00:07:52,019 --> 00:07:55,005 Samantha, that's great. 175 00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:56,017 [Carrie] The idea that Samantha 176 00:07:56,019 --> 00:07:58,020 could possibly get married before she did, 177 00:07:58,022 --> 00:08:01,006 shook Charlotte's beliefs to the core. 178 00:08:01,008 --> 00:08:03,008 She took some drastic action. 179 00:08:03,010 --> 00:08:05,017 She made an appointment to see Noanie Stein, 180 00:08:05,019 --> 00:08:08,004 psychic to the stars, and a cosmic connection 181 00:08:08,006 --> 00:08:09,013 who lived in a brownstone 182 00:08:09,015 --> 00:08:11,018 between Central Park West and Columbus. 183 00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:13,013 Is this you and Madonna? 184 00:08:13,015 --> 00:08:16,015 Yeah, we go to the same kabbalah class. 185 00:08:18,006 --> 00:08:19,009 Now... 186 00:08:20,005 --> 00:08:21,023 Pick three cards, 187 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,021 face down with your left hand. 188 00:08:24,023 --> 00:08:27,018 [Carrie] Charlotte had heard about Noanie through a sorority sister 189 00:08:27,020 --> 00:08:31,002 whose marriage she had very accurately predicted. 190 00:08:31,004 --> 00:08:32,006 Okay, 191 00:08:32,008 --> 00:08:35,023 now is there one question in particular? 192 00:08:36,001 --> 00:08:40,010 Well, no, just... 193 00:08:40,012 --> 00:08:41,023 There is. 194 00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:44,016 When will I get married? 195 00:08:47,010 --> 00:08:50,011 Ace of wands, prosperity. 196 00:08:52,001 --> 00:08:53,009 Nine of cups, 197 00:08:53,011 --> 00:08:55,021 strength and independence. 198 00:08:57,015 --> 00:09:00,017 The hanged man, a new awakening. 199 00:09:00,019 --> 00:09:03,016 You're a strong independent woman 200 00:09:03,018 --> 00:09:05,011 with great success in your future, 201 00:09:05,013 --> 00:09:07,012 but I do not see marriage. 202 00:09:09,001 --> 00:09:10,009 Excuse me? 203 00:09:10,011 --> 00:09:11,020 I don't see it. 204 00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:13,018 What? 205 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,017 I don't see marriage. 206 00:09:15,019 --> 00:09:18,005 Well, how can you just... 207 00:09:18,007 --> 00:09:20,011 say that like that? 208 00:09:20,013 --> 00:09:24,004 I mean, what about my feelings? 209 00:09:24,006 --> 00:09:27,016 Honey, I'm a psychic, I'm not a shrink. 210 00:09:27,018 --> 00:09:30,006 So, who is this fabulous mother in the hat, 211 00:09:30,008 --> 00:09:33,008 and when do I get to go to church with you two? 212 00:09:33,010 --> 00:09:35,022 You want to go to church? 213 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,020 You say that like I'm the Antichrist or something. 214 00:09:38,022 --> 00:09:41,012 No, it's just I never thought of you 215 00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:43,006 as the church type. 216 00:09:43,008 --> 00:09:44,020 Oh, really? 217 00:09:44,022 --> 00:09:46,007 What type am I? 218 00:09:46,009 --> 00:09:50,008 The incredibly beautiful and intelligent type. 219 00:09:51,019 --> 00:09:53,011 What religion are you? 220 00:09:53,013 --> 00:09:55,018 I'm no one religion in particular. 221 00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:56,021 I'm open to all. 222 00:09:56,023 --> 00:09:58,013 Oh, kind of like a 7-11? 223 00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:59,023 Come on, 224 00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:02,018 I want to go to church with you and your mommy. 225 00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:04,008 How about this Sunday? 226 00:10:04,010 --> 00:10:07,023 Well, it's just a private little thing 227 00:10:08,001 --> 00:10:10,011 my mother and I do, just the two of us. 228 00:10:18,020 --> 00:10:20,023 Want to go to the Caribbean next week? 229 00:10:21,001 --> 00:10:23,003 Sure, I'll go pack my Jet Ski. 230 00:10:23,005 --> 00:10:24,007 No, I'm serious. 231 00:10:24,009 --> 00:10:26,012 We can both use a vacation, come on. 232 00:10:26,014 --> 00:10:29,003 The sun, the sand, you and me. 233 00:10:29,005 --> 00:10:31,006 You waiting on me. Can you get away? 234 00:10:31,008 --> 00:10:33,000 Yeah, but I can't afford it. 235 00:10:33,002 --> 00:10:34,013 Well, I'll tell you what. 236 00:10:34,015 --> 00:10:36,014 I'll buy the tickets, when we get to St. Barts, 237 00:10:36,016 --> 00:10:39,019 you can buy me one big margarita. 238 00:10:42,001 --> 00:10:47,017 Oh, God! 239 00:10:54,010 --> 00:10:56,016 Wait, I want to hold you. 240 00:10:57,010 --> 00:10:58,019 I'll be right back. 241 00:10:58,021 --> 00:11:00,004 Stay here a second. 242 00:11:02,005 --> 00:11:05,022 Isn't this nice? Us together? 243 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,002 Yeah. 244 00:11:08,004 --> 00:11:09,023 Look, I'm just gonna go jump in the shower 245 00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:12,020 and then boom, I'm all yours. 246 00:11:12,022 --> 00:11:15,012 There's nothing sinful about sex. 247 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:20,000 Oh, oh, really? 248 00:11:20,002 --> 00:11:22,019 Well, thanks for clearing that up. 249 00:11:22,021 --> 00:11:25,020 And what is that? The gospel according to Miranda? 250 00:11:25,022 --> 00:11:28,010 What are you gonna tell me next, that God made the body? 251 00:11:28,012 --> 00:11:29,018 And if God made the body 252 00:11:29,020 --> 00:11:31,009 and sex is an expression of that body, 253 00:11:31,011 --> 00:11:33,021 how can anything made by that God-made body 254 00:11:33,023 --> 00:11:35,009 be considered sin? 255 00:11:35,011 --> 00:11:37,006 Well, yeah. 256 00:11:37,008 --> 00:11:40,011 Oh, it's a miracle, I'm healed! 257 00:11:40,013 --> 00:11:42,015 You're free to go work with the lepers now. 258 00:11:42,017 --> 00:11:44,014 I guess this means I'm not going to hell. 259 00:11:44,016 --> 00:11:46,004 Great news! 260 00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,017 Thank you, Miranda. 261 00:11:47,019 --> 00:11:50,010 Thank you for saving my immortal soul. 262 00:11:50,012 --> 00:11:52,007 [Carrie] In her effort to help, 263 00:11:52,009 --> 00:11:55,002 Miranda had accidentally detonated some kind of 264 00:11:55,004 --> 00:11:56,022 Catholic guilt bomb. 265 00:11:57,022 --> 00:11:59,023 I'm gonna go take a shower. 266 00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:01,003 When I come out, 267 00:12:01,005 --> 00:12:03,002 I'd kind of like it if you weren't here. 268 00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:05,003 You got it. 269 00:12:05,005 --> 00:12:07,016 [Carrie] Six months later, that exact same speech 270 00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:10,006 would find its way into Thomas John Anderson's 271 00:12:10,008 --> 00:12:13,008 hit off-Broadway play, Shower of Shame. 272 00:12:15,016 --> 00:12:17,011 Meanwhile, downtown, 273 00:12:17,013 --> 00:12:20,016 Samantha was preparing to see God. 274 00:12:22,021 --> 00:12:25,021 I know it's only been a couple of weeks, 275 00:12:25,023 --> 00:12:27,018 but I love you, Samantha. 276 00:12:27,020 --> 00:12:29,023 Oh, I love you too. 277 00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:40,004 Oh, honey, I can't wait any longer. 278 00:12:40,006 --> 00:12:43,003 Just unzip and get over here. 279 00:12:55,012 --> 00:12:57,017 Okay, I'm ready. 280 00:12:57,019 --> 00:12:59,014 Put it in. 281 00:12:59,016 --> 00:13:02,005 It is in. 282 00:13:02,007 --> 00:13:05,013 [Carrie] Samantha said a little prayer that he was kidding. 283 00:13:06,006 --> 00:13:07,016 He wasn't. 284 00:13:09,017 --> 00:13:11,000 Sunday morning, 285 00:13:11,002 --> 00:13:14,012 a time for rest, a time for relaxation, 286 00:13:14,014 --> 00:13:16,019 a time for spying. 287 00:13:16,021 --> 00:13:19,013 The plan was simple, just get a look at the mother, 288 00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:21,013 then Miranda and I would go for eggs. 289 00:13:21,015 --> 00:13:23,013 Look at how crowded it is. 290 00:13:23,015 --> 00:13:24,014 What a sham. 291 00:13:24,016 --> 00:13:25,015 Will you lighten up? 292 00:13:25,017 --> 00:13:27,014 It's a Presbyterian church, not a Catholic one. 293 00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:29,021 Whatever, Catholics, Episcopalians, 294 00:13:29,023 --> 00:13:31,014 Buddhists, Shakers, Quakers, 295 00:13:31,016 --> 00:13:34,014 all the same, all designed to fuck up our sex lives. 296 00:13:34,016 --> 00:13:35,017 Here, pray. 297 00:13:37,005 --> 00:13:38,010 Oh, there they are. 298 00:13:38,012 --> 00:13:40,004 -Where? -Right there. 299 00:13:40,006 --> 00:13:44,009 [Carrie] As I watched Mr. Big standing quietly next to his mother, 300 00:13:44,011 --> 00:13:47,012 tall, proud, respectful, 301 00:13:47,014 --> 00:13:50,011 I think I fell a little bit more in love with him. 302 00:13:50,013 --> 00:13:52,018 Let us pray. 303 00:13:52,020 --> 00:13:54,017 We come together this day... 304 00:13:54,019 --> 00:13:55,022 We're out of here. 305 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,014 ...to receive your blessings... 306 00:13:57,016 --> 00:13:58,013 [screams] 307 00:13:58,015 --> 00:13:59,022 ...Lord and Savior... 308 00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:06,014 [people chattering] 309 00:14:08,017 --> 00:14:10,002 Here they come. 310 00:14:10,004 --> 00:14:11,011 I say we make a break for it. 311 00:14:11,013 --> 00:14:13,006 No, no, they saw me, I have to say hello. 312 00:14:13,008 --> 00:14:15,010 I can't just pray and run. 313 00:14:15,012 --> 00:14:17,009 Oh, there they are. 314 00:14:17,011 --> 00:14:19,001 Okay, go, I'm fine. 315 00:14:19,003 --> 00:14:20,007 Go. 316 00:14:23,014 --> 00:14:26,009 Aren't you the young lady who made all that noise? 317 00:14:26,011 --> 00:14:28,014 Slippery gloves. 318 00:14:28,016 --> 00:14:29,013 Morning. 319 00:14:29,015 --> 00:14:31,015 -Good morning. -It's a lovely church. 320 00:14:31,017 --> 00:14:33,009 Yes, isn't it? 321 00:14:33,011 --> 00:14:34,019 Don't you think it's lovely? 322 00:14:34,021 --> 00:14:37,015 Mother, this is my friend, Carrie. 323 00:14:37,017 --> 00:14:39,003 [Carrie] I searched her face, 324 00:14:39,005 --> 00:14:41,008 looking for the light of recognition. 325 00:14:42,021 --> 00:14:44,007 But there was nothing. 326 00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:45,023 Carrie, Carrie. 327 00:14:46,001 --> 00:14:47,021 I'm just gonna go and say goodbye to the pastor. 328 00:14:47,023 --> 00:14:49,021 It was lovely meeting you. 329 00:14:52,010 --> 00:14:53,019 "My friend, Carrie"? 330 00:14:53,021 --> 00:14:56,002 You show up at church after I asked you not to. 331 00:14:56,004 --> 00:14:57,021 What are you trying to do, test me? 332 00:14:57,023 --> 00:15:00,010 Why all the sudden interest in meeting my mother? 333 00:15:00,012 --> 00:15:02,004 Well, has the woman ever even heard of me? 334 00:15:02,006 --> 00:15:04,021 My mother doesn't need to meet another girlfriend. 335 00:15:05,014 --> 00:15:07,001 Oh. 336 00:15:07,022 --> 00:15:10,001 I didn't mean that-- 337 00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:12,011 I mean, 338 00:15:12,013 --> 00:15:15,009 I'll introduce you as my girlfriend when I'm sure. 339 00:15:15,011 --> 00:15:17,006 Oh. 340 00:15:17,008 --> 00:15:21,011 Look, I have to do things on my time frame. 341 00:15:21,013 --> 00:15:23,003 Time frame? 342 00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:25,005 We've been going out for months. 343 00:15:28,015 --> 00:15:31,016 I really don't know what else to say to you. 344 00:15:31,018 --> 00:15:32,023 We'll get there. 345 00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:34,022 You just have to have a little faith. 346 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,001 Faith? 347 00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:37,016 Yeah. 348 00:15:37,018 --> 00:15:39,018 Look, in a couple days we're going on vacation, 349 00:15:39,020 --> 00:15:40,022 we'll have plenty of time to talk this out. 350 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,011 Right now I've got to get my mother home, okay? 351 00:15:43,013 --> 00:15:44,020 Well, go. 352 00:15:46,018 --> 00:15:48,008 Just go. 353 00:16:04,013 --> 00:16:06,000 Move over. 354 00:16:11,015 --> 00:16:13,013 I didn't leave. 355 00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:15,020 You didn't seem fine. 356 00:16:15,022 --> 00:16:19,000 He introduced me to his mother as a friend. 357 00:16:20,018 --> 00:16:22,012 She never heard of me. 358 00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:25,018 That isn't a good sign. 359 00:16:27,010 --> 00:16:29,000 Maybe they're not that close. 360 00:16:29,002 --> 00:16:31,005 Come on, don't lie, you're in a church. 361 00:16:36,008 --> 00:16:38,008 I can't get inside. 362 00:16:40,003 --> 00:16:43,001 I don't know what else I can do. 363 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,021 [disco music playing] 364 00:16:44,023 --> 00:16:47,017 [Carrie] Later that night, in the church of disco, 365 00:16:47,019 --> 00:16:49,014 Stanford invited everyone he knew 366 00:16:49,016 --> 00:16:52,003 to a party to introduce a new fragrance... 367 00:16:52,005 --> 00:16:54,006 Fallen Angel. 368 00:16:55,017 --> 00:16:57,005 [Stanford] Hi, Carrie. 369 00:16:57,007 --> 00:16:58,017 Carrie! 370 00:16:58,019 --> 00:17:02,023 [Carrie] Also, he wanted to show off his new boyfriend, Alanne. 371 00:17:03,021 --> 00:17:05,017 -Hi. -Isn't this fun? 372 00:17:05,019 --> 00:17:08,009 It's like hell with a cover charge. 373 00:17:08,011 --> 00:17:10,002 Carrie, this is Alanne. 374 00:17:10,004 --> 00:17:11,013 Alanne, Carrie. 375 00:17:11,015 --> 00:17:13,008 Hi, nice to meet you finally. 376 00:17:13,010 --> 00:17:14,005 You, too. 377 00:17:14,007 --> 00:17:15,014 Did I tell you that Alanne 378 00:17:15,016 --> 00:17:17,022 designed the Fallen Angel bottle? 379 00:17:18,020 --> 00:17:20,012 Yes, congratulations! 380 00:17:20,014 --> 00:17:22,007 Thank you. 381 00:17:22,009 --> 00:17:23,013 Excuse me for a second. 382 00:17:23,015 --> 00:17:26,009 I just saw someone I want to say hello to. 383 00:17:31,005 --> 00:17:33,003 So you know what we did today? 384 00:17:33,005 --> 00:17:36,015 We shopped for deco cabinet handles 385 00:17:36,017 --> 00:17:37,023 for his armoire. 386 00:17:38,001 --> 00:17:39,017 I turned into one of those couples we hate, 387 00:17:39,019 --> 00:17:41,012 and I'm loving it! 388 00:17:41,014 --> 00:17:44,014 [Carrie] Stanford and Alanne worshiped the same God... 389 00:17:44,016 --> 00:17:45,018 style. 390 00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:49,007 So, you all excited for the big "vacationné"? 391 00:17:49,009 --> 00:17:50,016 Oh, I don't know. 392 00:17:50,018 --> 00:17:51,020 I can't help feeling like 393 00:17:51,022 --> 00:17:53,016 it's some sort of consolation prize 394 00:17:53,018 --> 00:17:55,016 for not letting me in his life. 395 00:17:55,018 --> 00:17:57,020 Well, what is going on with you two? 396 00:17:57,022 --> 00:17:59,022 We're not in the greatest place. 397 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,003 What happened? 398 00:18:02,005 --> 00:18:04,015 He wouldn't introduce me to his mother. 399 00:18:05,007 --> 00:18:06,014 Ouch. 400 00:18:09,002 --> 00:18:10,008 Thanks. 401 00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:13,007 Skipper, hi. 402 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:16,020 [Carrie] It seems Stanford had invited everyone in his rolodex. 403 00:18:16,022 --> 00:18:18,021 I, uh, I was hoping I'd see you here. 404 00:18:18,023 --> 00:18:22,006 I've been totally thinking about you since we broke up. 405 00:18:22,008 --> 00:18:23,007 You have? 406 00:18:23,009 --> 00:18:24,010 Totally. 407 00:18:25,023 --> 00:18:27,021 You look great. 408 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,006 Thanks. 409 00:18:29,021 --> 00:18:31,000 So do you. 410 00:18:31,002 --> 00:18:32,017 [Carrie] Miranda looked at Skipper, 411 00:18:32,019 --> 00:18:35,023 the months apart had shed a new light on him. 412 00:18:36,001 --> 00:18:37,010 Actually, they'd shed a new light 413 00:18:37,012 --> 00:18:39,019 on his shower-free feelings about sex. 414 00:18:40,015 --> 00:18:41,015 Later that night, 415 00:18:41,017 --> 00:18:43,023 the three of us tracked Samantha to the ladies room 416 00:18:44,001 --> 00:18:46,005 to get the lowdown on her love life with James. 417 00:18:46,007 --> 00:18:48,013 Here you are, we've been looking for you everywhere. 418 00:18:48,015 --> 00:18:51,013 So, how is everything? 419 00:18:51,015 --> 00:18:54,001 She means have you and James done it yet? 420 00:18:54,013 --> 00:18:55,016 Mm-hmm. 421 00:18:55,018 --> 00:18:57,000 And? 422 00:18:58,014 --> 00:19:00,002 It's nice. 423 00:19:00,004 --> 00:19:02,004 I'm so happy for you. 424 00:19:05,005 --> 00:19:07,021 Sweetie, what-- what? What is it? 425 00:19:07,023 --> 00:19:09,009 Nothing. 426 00:19:13,017 --> 00:19:15,010 [Carrie] Hey. Hey! 427 00:19:15,012 --> 00:19:17,015 What's going on? Why are you crying? 428 00:19:18,013 --> 00:19:19,021 James has a small dick. 429 00:19:19,023 --> 00:19:23,001 Oh, well, it's not the end of the world. 430 00:19:23,003 --> 00:19:24,023 -It's really small. -How small? 431 00:19:25,001 --> 00:19:27,008 -Too small. -Well, size isn't everything. 432 00:19:27,010 --> 00:19:28,009 Three inches? 433 00:19:28,011 --> 00:19:29,016 Well... 434 00:19:29,018 --> 00:19:32,002 -Hard? -[Carrie grunts] 435 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,011 Is he a good kisser? 436 00:19:33,013 --> 00:19:35,004 [Samantha] Oh, who the fuck cares? 437 00:19:35,006 --> 00:19:37,009 His dick is like a gherkin! 438 00:19:37,011 --> 00:19:38,018 I feel so terrible. 439 00:19:38,020 --> 00:19:40,019 Listen to me, I'm a bad person. 440 00:19:40,021 --> 00:19:42,005 Don't beat yourself up. 441 00:19:42,007 --> 00:19:44,011 You had certain expectations and you're disappointed. 442 00:19:44,013 --> 00:19:46,012 Why? 443 00:19:46,014 --> 00:19:48,021 Why does he have to have a small dick? 444 00:19:49,014 --> 00:19:51,004 I really like him. 445 00:19:51,006 --> 00:19:52,023 I thought you loved him. 446 00:19:53,001 --> 00:19:53,021 Well... 447 00:19:53,023 --> 00:19:56,001 Oh, look, we've all been there. 448 00:19:56,003 --> 00:19:57,001 That's for sure. 449 00:19:57,003 --> 00:19:58,021 I was once with a guy the size of one of those 450 00:19:58,023 --> 00:20:00,016 little miniature golf pencils. 451 00:20:00,018 --> 00:20:03,011 I couldn't tell if he was trying to fuck me or erase me. 452 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,010 I'm-- I'm sorry, it's just-- it's funny. 453 00:20:08,012 --> 00:20:10,019 Let's not lose perspective. 454 00:20:10,021 --> 00:20:12,011 There are ways to work around it. 455 00:20:12,013 --> 00:20:14,016 [Samantha] Well, I don't want to work around it. 456 00:20:14,018 --> 00:20:16,003 I love a big dick. 457 00:20:16,005 --> 00:20:17,018 I love it inside of me. 458 00:20:17,020 --> 00:20:20,015 I love looking at it, I love everything about it. 459 00:20:22,005 --> 00:20:23,022 When I blow him, it's like... 460 00:20:25,004 --> 00:20:28,003 Nothing. 461 00:20:28,005 --> 00:20:29,022 Can you talk to him about it? 462 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,011 No. 463 00:20:31,013 --> 00:20:34,007 It's the only thing we can't talk about. 464 00:20:36,023 --> 00:20:38,015 What am I gonna do? 465 00:20:39,012 --> 00:20:41,016 How is he with his tongue? 466 00:20:44,017 --> 00:20:46,005 [Carrie] Charlotte left us all behind 467 00:20:46,007 --> 00:20:48,016 telling us she had another party to go to. 468 00:20:50,011 --> 00:20:52,008 She took a cab to a part of town 469 00:20:52,010 --> 00:20:54,023 never mentioned in The New Yorker. 470 00:20:55,001 --> 00:20:56,017 Will I ever get married? 471 00:21:00,011 --> 00:21:03,004 [man] I call the power of all the saints. 472 00:21:03,006 --> 00:21:04,008 Saint Lazarus. 473 00:21:04,010 --> 00:21:05,017 Santa Rosa. 474 00:21:05,019 --> 00:21:08,000 Saint Rosa, send me your guidance. 475 00:21:08,002 --> 00:21:09,013 [chanting in Spanish] 476 00:21:09,015 --> 00:21:10,014 Send me the truth. 477 00:21:10,016 --> 00:21:14,002 [continues chanting in Spanish] 478 00:21:14,004 --> 00:21:15,021 [man] Send me an answer. 479 00:21:27,002 --> 00:21:28,016 No yolk. 480 00:21:28,018 --> 00:21:29,023 What does that mean? 481 00:21:30,001 --> 00:21:31,016 [woman speaking in Spanish] 482 00:21:31,018 --> 00:21:33,001 You'll never be married. 483 00:21:33,003 --> 00:21:35,010 [woman continues speaking in Spanish] 484 00:21:35,012 --> 00:21:36,020 You are cursed. 485 00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:39,001 But do not worry, 486 00:21:39,003 --> 00:21:42,008 for the hundred dollars, we can remove it. 487 00:21:48,004 --> 00:21:49,012 [Carrie] The entire way home, 488 00:21:49,014 --> 00:21:52,015 Charlotte berated herself for being so foolish. 489 00:21:52,017 --> 00:21:54,014 She simply refused to give into the idea 490 00:21:54,016 --> 00:21:56,011 that she would never get married. 491 00:21:56,013 --> 00:21:57,012 -Sorry. -Sorry. 492 00:21:57,014 --> 00:21:59,015 [Carrie] All she had to do was keep believing 493 00:21:59,017 --> 00:22:01,006 and it would happen. 494 00:22:04,008 --> 00:22:06,017 It was 3:00 a.m. in the church of disco, 495 00:22:06,019 --> 00:22:09,015 and Miranda couldn't believe what she was about to say. 496 00:22:09,017 --> 00:22:11,015 You want to spend the night? 497 00:22:11,017 --> 00:22:12,013 The night? 498 00:22:12,015 --> 00:22:14,021 The whole night? 499 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,009 Yeah, the whole night. 500 00:22:20,021 --> 00:22:22,012 I knew we'd get back together. 501 00:22:22,014 --> 00:22:24,001 You did, huh? 502 00:22:24,020 --> 00:22:25,023 Yup... 503 00:22:26,001 --> 00:22:29,006 Every night I'd light a candle and say a little prayer. 504 00:22:30,009 --> 00:22:31,019 You're a freak. 505 00:22:33,011 --> 00:22:35,014 [Carrie] Samantha tried desperately to believe 506 00:22:35,016 --> 00:22:37,022 that love was stronger than sex. 507 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,011 [crying] 508 00:22:39,013 --> 00:22:40,023 Why are you crying? 509 00:22:42,009 --> 00:22:44,011 I'm just so happy. 510 00:22:47,010 --> 00:22:49,018 [crying] 511 00:22:49,020 --> 00:22:51,004 [Carrie] I stayed up all night 512 00:22:51,006 --> 00:22:52,023 questioning my faith in faith. 513 00:22:53,001 --> 00:22:56,013 I mean, hadn't I had faith in us all along? 514 00:22:56,015 --> 00:22:58,010 [door buzzing] 515 00:23:01,023 --> 00:23:04,013 Faith that all the withholding would stop... 516 00:23:06,012 --> 00:23:08,022 Faith that he'd say, "I love you." 517 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,006 Let's go! 518 00:23:10,008 --> 00:23:14,003 Hey, hurry, we're gonna miss the plane. 519 00:23:14,005 --> 00:23:16,014 Wait, wait, wait, put them down a second. 520 00:23:17,013 --> 00:23:19,004 Just put them down. 521 00:23:21,007 --> 00:23:22,013 Okay. 522 00:23:23,017 --> 00:23:25,006 What? 523 00:23:26,012 --> 00:23:28,022 I need a sign. 524 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:33,002 I mean, you told me to have faith, but see, um, 525 00:23:33,004 --> 00:23:36,006 I'm kind of losing mine, so, so... 526 00:23:37,012 --> 00:23:38,017 I need a sign. 527 00:23:38,019 --> 00:23:41,005 What, like in those old religious movies, 528 00:23:41,007 --> 00:23:43,012 you want a voice from above? 529 00:23:43,014 --> 00:23:45,013 Just tell me I'm the one. 530 00:23:46,021 --> 00:23:49,010 Come on, you don't have to tell your mother 531 00:23:49,012 --> 00:23:51,017 or the whole world, just... 532 00:23:53,020 --> 00:23:55,009 Just tell me. 533 00:24:11,009 --> 00:24:13,006 I can't do this. 534 00:24:14,007 --> 00:24:16,012 Carrie, Carrie. 535 00:24:17,022 --> 00:24:22,003 Carrie, just get in the car, please. 536 00:24:23,013 --> 00:24:24,015 I can't. 537 00:24:26,016 --> 00:24:28,018 I love you, but I can't. 538 00:24:34,011 --> 00:24:36,012 So that's it? 539 00:24:50,002 --> 00:24:52,000 ♪ No regrets ♪ 540 00:24:53,022 --> 00:25:00,007 ♪ Although our love affair has gone astray ♪ 541 00:25:00,009 --> 00:25:05,008 ♪ No regrets ♪ 542 00:25:05,010 --> 00:25:08,003 [Carrie] After he left, I cried for a week. 543 00:25:10,005 --> 00:25:12,021 And then I realized I do have faith... 544 00:25:12,023 --> 00:25:15,021 Faith in myself. 545 00:25:15,023 --> 00:25:18,014 Faith that I would one day meet someone 546 00:25:18,016 --> 00:25:22,003 who would be sure that I was the one. 547 00:25:22,005 --> 00:25:27,006 ♪ Still in my heart you'll be ♪ 548 00:25:27,023 --> 00:25:32,017 ♪ Forever mine ♪ 549 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,013 ♪ No regrets ♪