1
00:00:57,125 --> 00:01:00,166
New York City
is all about sex.
2
00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:02,000
People getting it.
3
00:01:02,083 --> 00:01:03,875
People trying to get it.
4
00:01:03,959 --> 00:01:05,667
And people who can't get it.
5
00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:07,500
No wonder the city never sleeps,
6
00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:09,208
it's too busy
trying to get laid.
7
00:01:09,291 --> 00:01:13,542
But if you ever actually do
manage to get someone in bed,
8
00:01:13,625 --> 00:01:14,959
the real fun begins.
9
00:01:17,125 --> 00:01:18,709
That's the kind with nuts in it.
10
00:01:18,792 --> 00:01:19,917
Mm-hmm.
11
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,125
We love our nuts.
12
00:01:21,208 --> 00:01:22,417
Mm-hmm.
13
00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:25,500
Mmm.
14
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,208
After sleeping
together for many weeks,
15
00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,500
Mr. Big and I had gotten
comfortable enough
16
00:01:33,583 --> 00:01:35,375
to really sleep together.
17
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,000
It was nice.
18
00:01:42,083 --> 00:01:44,834
It was the way I'd
always dreamed it could be.
19
00:01:45,333 --> 00:01:46,625
Good morning.
20
00:01:46,875 --> 00:01:47,834
Morning.
21
00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:59,500
Was that you?
22
00:01:59,875 --> 00:02:02,875
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
23
00:02:02,959 --> 00:02:05,583
I think it might
be worse under there.
24
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,667
Shut up.
Shut up!
25
00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:11,792
-Shut up!
26
00:02:11,875 --> 00:02:14,166
I hadn't dressed so quickly
since the time I was caught
27
00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:15,667
in the boy's dorm
sophomore year.
28
00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:17,208
Wait.
Don't you want some coffee?
29
00:02:17,291 --> 00:02:19,875
Oh, gosh.
I'm late for a thing.
30
00:02:21,333 --> 00:02:22,500
Oh, my God.
31
00:02:22,583 --> 00:02:24,959
I was mortified.
Oh.
32
00:02:25,041 --> 00:02:27,125
I didn't call him
the rest of the day.
33
00:02:27,208 --> 00:02:28,667
I tried to lose myself in work,
34
00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:31,291
but every time I stopped
for a second to think,
35
00:02:31,375 --> 00:02:33,000
-Oh, God.
36
00:02:33,083 --> 00:02:37,000
I'd relive my hell
all over again.
37
00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:40,458
The next day, I realized
how childish I was behaving.
38
00:02:40,542 --> 00:02:42,458
I decided to stop
avoiding the situation
39
00:02:42,542 --> 00:02:44,250
and take the grown-up approach,
40
00:02:44,333 --> 00:02:45,625
complete and utter denial.
41
00:02:45,709 --> 00:02:48,500
Oh, so I saw The Met
is opening a new Goya exhibit.
42
00:02:48,583 --> 00:02:49,959
Do you want to go this Saturday?
43
00:02:50,875 --> 00:02:51,917
Sure.
44
00:02:53,125 --> 00:02:55,667
Could you get me some
more duck sauce, please?
45
00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:57,417
I most certainly can.
46
00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:01,500
Oh, and then we have to stop
and see the Renoirs.
47
00:03:01,583 --> 00:03:03,291
I love the Renoirs.
48
00:03:03,542 --> 00:03:04,709
Okay.
49
00:03:10,583 --> 00:03:12,583
There's a moment
in every relationship
50
00:03:12,667 --> 00:03:14,917
where romance gives way
to reality.
51
00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:34,375
You know, you know what?
52
00:03:34,458 --> 00:03:35,917
I'm exhausted.
53
00:03:37,208 --> 00:03:39,125
You mind if we just
call it a night?
54
00:03:39,792 --> 00:03:40,959
-Okay?
-Sure.
55
00:03:41,041 --> 00:03:42,166
Sorry.
56
00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:46,917
Goodnight.
57
00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:51,333
That was the first night
we slept together
58
00:03:51,417 --> 00:03:53,125
and didn't make love.
59
00:03:53,208 --> 00:03:56,875
By the middle of the next week,
it was three times in a row,
60
00:03:56,959 --> 00:03:58,208
and I was beginning to worry.
61
00:03:58,291 --> 00:03:59,208
Three times?
62
00:03:59,291 --> 00:04:00,291
Try three months.
63
00:04:00,375 --> 00:04:01,959
-No.
-Yes.
64
00:04:02,625 --> 00:04:03,792
Now would be a good time
65
00:04:03,875 --> 00:04:06,166
to wipe that
horrified look off your face.
66
00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:08,041
Sorry, sweetie. I'm sorry.
67
00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:10,667
I just-- wow, I didn't know.
Where have I been?
68
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,208
You've been having sex.
69
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:15,375
I've been at Blockbuster
renting videos.
70
00:04:15,458 --> 00:04:16,875
It's tragic.
71
00:04:16,959 --> 00:04:19,417
I'm like two rentals away from
a free pound of gummy bears.
72
00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:21,208
Oh, relax.
You're just in a dry spell.
73
00:04:21,291 --> 00:04:22,667
I can't believe you said that.
74
00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:24,750
You're all freaked out
about three times.
75
00:04:24,834 --> 00:04:27,000
-I'm talking three months.
-Yeah, but that's different.
76
00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:29,250
Not doing it when you're
with someone means much more
77
00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:31,417
than not doing it when
you're not with someone.
78
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:32,750
What are you worried about?
79
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,000
I thought you said
everything felt
80
00:04:34,083 --> 00:04:35,542
really comfortable and great.
81
00:04:35,625 --> 00:04:37,417
Yeah, well,
maybe too comfortable.
82
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:38,542
What do you mean?
83
00:04:41,125 --> 00:04:42,250
I farted.
84
00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:45,500
I farted in front
of my boyfriend.
85
00:04:45,583 --> 00:04:47,000
And?
86
00:04:47,083 --> 00:04:48,500
And we're no longer having sex
87
00:04:48,583 --> 00:04:51,750
and he thinks of me
as one of the boys.
88
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,792
And I'm gonna have to move
to another city
89
00:04:53,875 --> 00:04:57,208
where the shame of this
won't follow me.
90
00:04:57,291 --> 00:04:58,959
You farted!
You're human.
91
00:04:59,041 --> 00:05:00,959
I don't want him to know that.
92
00:05:01,041 --> 00:05:03,709
I mean, he's this perfect guy.
93
00:05:03,792 --> 00:05:06,291
You know, he walks around
his perfect apartment
with his perfect suit.
94
00:05:06,375 --> 00:05:08,208
And he's just perfect,
perfect, perfect, perfect.
95
00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:09,792
And I'm the girl who farts.
96
00:05:09,875 --> 00:05:12,792
-No wonder we're not having sex.
-You're insane.
97
00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:14,291
It's been three times.
98
00:05:14,375 --> 00:05:15,417
It's perfectly normal.
99
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:16,458
Says who?
100
00:05:16,709 --> 00:05:20,041
I mean, say it's not the--
101
00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:22,417
then what else is going on?
102
00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:25,000
I mean is it normal to be
in the same bed and not do it?
103
00:05:25,083 --> 00:05:28,083
I guess it depends
on what's normal for you.
104
00:05:28,166 --> 00:05:29,709
Oh, God, I hate that.
105
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,834
Who am I to know what's normal?
106
00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:34,500
I've been dating a hundred
years, I don't have a clue.
107
00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:37,917
Well, three months
is not normal for me.
108
00:05:38,417 --> 00:05:40,041
One month was interesting.
109
00:05:40,125 --> 00:05:41,333
Two months was numbing.
110
00:05:41,417 --> 00:05:44,792
Three months,
I am going out of my mind.
111
00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:48,125
There are 1.3 million
single men in New York.
112
00:05:48,208 --> 00:05:50,166
1.8 million single women.
113
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:53,208
And of these
more than 3 million people,
114
00:05:53,291 --> 00:05:56,667
about 12 think they're
having enough sex.
115
00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:58,375
How often is normal?
116
00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:01,750
I have to masturbate three times
a day just to make it through.
117
00:06:01,834 --> 00:06:04,709
Some people take coffee breaks.
I take jerk off breaks.
118
00:06:04,792 --> 00:06:07,000
They say the average
33-year old woman
119
00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:08,834
has sex 3.5 times a week.
120
00:06:08,917 --> 00:06:10,500
I'd like to know
who that woman Is.
121
00:06:10,583 --> 00:06:13,291
You know, my wife and I haven't
had sex since the baby was born.
122
00:06:13,917 --> 00:06:16,125
The baby's applying
to Yale next fall.
123
00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:23,417
Oh, once, one time a day, but
two time on very special day.
124
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,709
Normal is the halfway point
125
00:06:25,792 --> 00:06:28,583
between what you want
and what you can get.
126
00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:30,291
Even in the
plow position,
127
00:06:30,375 --> 00:06:33,542
I could count on Samantha
for amazing sexual clarity.
128
00:06:33,625 --> 00:06:36,333
Very good.
Let's move on
to downward facing dog.
129
00:06:36,417 --> 00:06:37,583
Whoof.
130
00:06:37,667 --> 00:06:41,792
With him, I could do it
every hour on the hour.
131
00:06:42,583 --> 00:06:43,709
Do you think it means something
132
00:06:43,792 --> 00:06:45,875
if Big and I
are sleeping together
133
00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:47,709
but we're not sleeping together?
134
00:06:47,792 --> 00:06:48,709
The truth?
135
00:06:48,792 --> 00:06:50,291
When have I ever wanted that?
136
00:06:50,625 --> 00:06:51,875
Yeah, okay, tell me.
137
00:06:51,959 --> 00:06:53,000
I think there's trouble.
138
00:06:53,083 --> 00:06:54,709
I mean, sex is a barometer
139
00:06:54,792 --> 00:06:56,667
for what's going on
in the relationship.
140
00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:00,166
Well, I wasn't going
to tell you this, but, um...
141
00:07:02,834 --> 00:07:03,834
I farted.
142
00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:05,750
Then move your mat away.
143
00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:06,917
Not now.
144
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,834
I did it in front of Big.
145
00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:10,750
Huge mistake.
146
00:07:10,834 --> 00:07:11,875
You think?
147
00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:13,417
It wasn't a choice.
148
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:14,709
I'm human.
It happened.
149
00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:16,291
No, honey, you're a woman,
150
00:07:16,375 --> 00:07:18,458
and men don't like women
to be human.
151
00:07:18,542 --> 00:07:20,000
We aren't supposed to fart,
152
00:07:20,083 --> 00:07:22,917
douche, use tampons, or have
hair in places we shouldn't.
153
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,834
I mean, hell,
a guy once broke up with me
154
00:07:24,917 --> 00:07:26,917
because I missed a bikini wax.
155
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,125
I knew it.
156
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,083
This is a watershed
relationship moment
157
00:07:30,166 --> 00:07:31,500
I'm never gonna
be able to erase.
158
00:07:31,583 --> 00:07:32,750
Oh, sure you will.
159
00:07:32,834 --> 00:07:34,750
Just go over there
and fuck his brains out,
160
00:07:34,834 --> 00:07:35,917
and he'll forget all about it.
161
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,375
Men aren't that complicated.
162
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:38,750
They're kind of like plants.
163
00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:40,875
Concentrate.
Quiet your insides.
164
00:07:40,959 --> 00:07:41,959
Now he tells me.
165
00:07:42,041 --> 00:07:43,500
Roll over on your backs.
166
00:07:43,583 --> 00:07:44,750
Take Goddess pose.
167
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,542
Let your breathing
work with you.
168
00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:52,542
In and out.
169
00:07:52,625 --> 00:07:54,125
Ahh.
170
00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:58,000
In, out.
171
00:07:58,083 --> 00:07:59,875
Ahh.
172
00:08:00,583 --> 00:08:02,834
Would you like to go
for a coffee some time?
173
00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:05,542
Forty-five minutes and
three animal positions later,
174
00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:10,250
Samantha and Siddhartha
were sipping green tea at a
nearby health food restaurant,
175
00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:11,875
Tofu or Not Tofu.
176
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:15,000
I always feel so
amazing after yoga.
177
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,417
My body feels so open.
178
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:20,250
So alive.
So ready for anything.
179
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,041
Samantha.
180
00:08:22,583 --> 00:08:23,750
Yes.
181
00:08:23,834 --> 00:08:25,208
I'm celibate.
182
00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:29,083
I practice Brahmacarya,
tantric celibacy.
183
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,333
I gave up sex three years ago.
184
00:08:31,417 --> 00:08:32,959
My God, why?
185
00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:36,083
Or more importantly, why?
186
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:37,875
Didn't you like it?
187
00:08:37,959 --> 00:08:39,125
Oh, I loved it.
188
00:08:39,417 --> 00:08:41,000
I'd have sex morning,
noon, and night,
189
00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:43,542
sometimes three women a day
and I was always ready for more.
190
00:08:43,625 --> 00:08:45,417
Well, now you're
just being cruel.
191
00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:46,583
No.
192
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:48,125
It was all ego.
193
00:08:48,375 --> 00:08:51,458
And where I am now
is so much better than sex.
194
00:08:51,542 --> 00:08:54,834
Oh, come on, honey,
nothing's better than sex.
195
00:08:54,917 --> 00:08:57,000
Think about really
good foreplay.
196
00:08:57,417 --> 00:09:00,667
Your sexual energy's
just starting to awaken.
197
00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:03,458
Now, imagine a
three-year foreplay
198
00:09:03,959 --> 00:09:08,291
where all that sexual energy
is coursing through your body,
199
00:09:08,375 --> 00:09:09,834
but it never gets released.
200
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,917
It just recycles,
201
00:09:13,417 --> 00:09:14,667
builds,
202
00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:16,000
rises.
203
00:09:16,792 --> 00:09:17,959
Until your entire being
204
00:09:18,041 --> 00:09:22,375
is humming with that
electric sexual energy.
205
00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:25,041
My apartment's just
around the corner.
206
00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:29,375
The only thing hotter than sex
is not having sex.
207
00:09:29,458 --> 00:09:30,959
Amazingly,
208
00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:33,041
talking dirty
about not having sex
209
00:09:33,125 --> 00:09:35,208
was the most
sexually deviant act
210
00:09:35,291 --> 00:09:37,667
Samantha had participated in
for months.
211
00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:39,583
The next night,
when I met Charlotte for dinner.
212
00:09:39,667 --> 00:09:42,000
I had reached my own
transcendental state,
213
00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:44,291
pure Mr. Big obsession.
214
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,959
Okay, um,
the first time he was tired.
215
00:09:48,041 --> 00:09:51,667
And the next two times, I...
216
00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:55,208
I don't know.
217
00:09:55,667 --> 00:09:57,458
-It's bad, isn't it?
-Carrie, relax.
218
00:09:57,542 --> 00:09:59,583
There's nothing wrong
with your relationship.
219
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,792
Well, that's not all, Charlotte.
I, um...
220
00:10:02,125 --> 00:10:03,417
What?
221
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,959
I couldn't bring
myself to tell her.
222
00:10:06,041 --> 00:10:08,000
I was afraid she'd
go spontaneously deaf.
223
00:10:08,083 --> 00:10:08,917
I'm sorry.
224
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,458
Um, what, what were you saying?
225
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,000
People put too much emphasis
on the importance of sex.
226
00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:16,792
It's not the most important
thing in a relationship.
227
00:10:16,875 --> 00:10:17,750
Right.
228
00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:19,333
Take Kevin and I, for example.
229
00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:22,041
We've been going out for weeks
and we still haven't done it.
230
00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:23,166
I mean,
231
00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:25,125
we touch and cuddle,
232
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:29,500
but he's sweet, and he respects
my boundaries, and I like it.
233
00:10:29,583 --> 00:10:32,625
It makes it special.
Oh, there he is.
234
00:10:32,709 --> 00:10:34,875
Meeting a friend's
new boyfriend for the first time
235
00:10:34,959 --> 00:10:36,500
is always a little tense.
236
00:10:36,583 --> 00:10:38,625
What if you don't like him?
What if he doesn't like you?
237
00:10:38,709 --> 00:10:40,834
Kevin, this is my good friend,
Carrie.
238
00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:42,959
-Hey, Carrie.
-Hi.
239
00:10:43,041 --> 00:10:45,041
What if
you've already slept with him?
240
00:10:45,709 --> 00:10:47,375
You two know each other.
241
00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:49,333
Well, kind of.
242
00:10:49,417 --> 00:10:50,834
We used to go out.
243
00:10:51,667 --> 00:10:53,834
Well, kind of used to go out.
244
00:10:53,917 --> 00:10:56,500
-You two used to go out.
245
00:10:56,583 --> 00:10:57,583
That's so funny.
246
00:10:57,667 --> 00:10:59,125
Isn't that funny?
247
00:10:59,208 --> 00:11:01,125
That's my office.
I gotta take this.
248
00:11:01,208 --> 00:11:02,542
I'll be right back.
249
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:07,250
Okay, when?
250
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,875
Um, three years ago.
251
00:11:09,959 --> 00:11:11,583
Three years,
I can live with that.
252
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:13,333
Serious?
253
00:11:13,417 --> 00:11:14,834
-No.
-Good.
254
00:11:14,917 --> 00:11:16,250
Why'd you break up?
255
00:11:16,792 --> 00:11:19,041
You know, we were
in different places and I just--
256
00:11:19,125 --> 00:11:22,375
Carrie, we don't have time
for diplomacy, just tell me.
257
00:11:22,583 --> 00:11:24,250
He's a sex maniac.
258
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:33,458
When Charlotte discovered that
Kevin had tucked his libido away
259
00:11:33,542 --> 00:11:34,959
for her comfort level,
260
00:11:35,041 --> 00:11:37,458
she was even more moved
by his restraint.
261
00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:41,041
I want you to know how much
I appreciate your patience.
262
00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:42,291
Hmm?
263
00:11:42,375 --> 00:11:44,250
Well, you've been
so patient with me.
264
00:11:44,458 --> 00:11:46,583
It shows how much
you really care.
265
00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:48,500
And all that waiting
266
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,959
is gonna make it
all the more special for us now.
267
00:11:52,458 --> 00:11:53,500
Oh.
268
00:11:57,917 --> 00:12:00,959
There's only gonna be one stop.
Thanks.
269
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,250
I don't think
this is gonna work.
270
00:12:18,792 --> 00:12:19,834
Why? Is it me?
271
00:12:19,917 --> 00:12:21,166
No, you're great.
272
00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:23,458
I'm just not that sexual a guy.
273
00:12:25,125 --> 00:12:27,458
It's me.
I know it's me.
274
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,542
Look, Carrie told me
that you were quite sexual.
275
00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:35,291
In fact, I believe she used
the word "maniac."
276
00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:36,709
That was before.
277
00:12:38,542 --> 00:12:39,625
Before what?
278
00:12:39,709 --> 00:12:40,625
Prozac.
279
00:12:40,709 --> 00:12:41,750
Prozac?
280
00:12:41,834 --> 00:12:44,083
Yeah. I used to be such a mess.
281
00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:45,333
Mr. Mood Swing.
282
00:12:45,792 --> 00:12:47,250
It's a total lifesaver.
283
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:50,250
The only downside is
is it takes the air
out of my tires.
284
00:12:50,333 --> 00:12:53,625
After a while,
it's kind of like a taffy pull.
285
00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:56,166
That's okay.
286
00:12:56,792 --> 00:12:57,834
Don't worry about it.
287
00:12:58,583 --> 00:12:59,667
I don't.
288
00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:00,959
I mean, I wish I could say
I felt worse.
289
00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,500
But to tell you the truth,
290
00:13:02,583 --> 00:13:05,208
these days,
nothing gets me down.
291
00:13:05,667 --> 00:13:07,000
Do you want to watch a movie?
292
00:13:11,709 --> 00:13:13,667
Terrified of going
to Mr. Big's
293
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:16,291
for what could become
another platonic sleepover,
294
00:13:16,375 --> 00:13:20,250
I paced my apartment
and tried not to think
about our lack of sex when...
295
00:13:22,208 --> 00:13:24,291
there they were,
my new neighbors,
296
00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:26,750
Mr. and Mrs. Get It On.
297
00:13:26,834 --> 00:13:28,542
A couple so obviously
into each other
298
00:13:28,625 --> 00:13:30,542
there was only one thing to do,
299
00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:32,375
watch.
300
00:13:36,667 --> 00:13:38,750
Then something
wonderful happened.
301
00:13:38,834 --> 00:13:41,166
My desire overcame my fear.
302
00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:42,875
Hi, it's me. Um...
303
00:13:42,959 --> 00:13:44,834
is it okay if I come over?
304
00:13:45,375 --> 00:13:47,291
Okay.
305
00:13:47,375 --> 00:13:49,959
Meanwhile, across town
at the corner of
"Nirvana and West Third,"
306
00:13:50,041 --> 00:13:53,625
Siddhartha was helping Samantha
along her newfound path.
307
00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:56,458
Blocks are a connection
to our inner life
308
00:13:56,709 --> 00:13:58,250
and true identities.
309
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:00,375
You're hard.
310
00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:01,583
I know.
311
00:14:01,834 --> 00:14:03,667
Our addictions and attachments
312
00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:06,125
are a way to block
our spiritual hunger
313
00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:09,000
through unhealthy
and dependent ways.
314
00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:10,417
You're still hard.
315
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:11,667
It will go down.
316
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,083
So can I.
317
00:14:21,917 --> 00:14:25,417
I showed up
at his apartment
feeling sexy and confident,
318
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:28,625
wearing my secret weapon skirt
that really hugged my hips.
319
00:14:28,709 --> 00:14:29,667
I was ret to go.
320
00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:31,125
He didn't have a prayer.
321
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:36,583
Very nice.
322
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,458
Come on in.
I'm watching the fight.
323
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,959
Baby. You...
324
00:14:56,291 --> 00:14:59,041
Carrie.
Come on, come on.
325
00:14:59,125 --> 00:15:00,333
Let me watch this.
326
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:05,959
Oh, man!
327
00:15:09,625 --> 00:15:11,208
Jesus, Carrie, come on!
328
00:15:11,291 --> 00:15:12,333
Would you knock it the fuck off.
329
00:15:12,417 --> 00:15:14,041
I'm trying to watch this fight.
330
00:15:14,125 --> 00:15:15,625
-Just--
-Fine, I'll leave.
331
00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:17,375
What-- What is wrong with you?
332
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,959
-Why are you acting so nuts?
-Well, maybe I'm not perfect.
333
00:15:20,041 --> 00:15:22,834
Maybe I don't fit into your
perfect, you know, life,
334
00:15:22,917 --> 00:15:25,750
with your perfect apartment, and
your perfect pay-per-view fight.
335
00:15:25,834 --> 00:15:27,333
Maybe I should leave.
336
00:15:30,041 --> 00:15:32,250
I stood there and waited
for the obligatory,
337
00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:34,625
he's coming
to stop me ten seconds.
338
00:15:35,166 --> 00:15:36,625
He didn't.
339
00:15:36,709 --> 00:15:38,417
By the time I got home
340
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,208
I was sure he'd left an apology
on my voicemail.
341
00:15:40,291 --> 00:15:43,583
[beeping, recording] You have no
new messages in your mailbox.
342
00:15:43,667 --> 00:15:46,333
I didn't sleep
very well that night.
343
00:15:46,417 --> 00:15:48,625
But I wasn't the only one.
344
00:15:48,709 --> 00:15:52,083
After a night of spiritual
reading with her hunky guru,
345
00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:53,750
Samantha began to feel things
346
00:15:53,834 --> 00:15:56,250
she hadn't felt
in a very long time,
347
00:15:56,333 --> 00:15:57,917
frustrated and horny.
348
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,542
She decided it was time
to put an end to her suffering.
349
00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:01,959
But just as she
reached the place
350
00:16:02,041 --> 00:16:04,417
Krishna once called
"the gateway to life,"
351
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:07,458
she turned back
and decided not to enter.
352
00:16:07,542 --> 00:16:09,375
After all, she'd come this far.
353
00:16:09,458 --> 00:16:10,959
She could continue
not to cum at all.
354
00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:15,291
In an effort
to get her mind off sex,
355
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:18,291
Miranda had rented
a five-hour Danish documentary
356
00:16:18,375 --> 00:16:20,083
on the Nuremberg trial.
357
00:16:20,166 --> 00:16:21,333
It actually worked until...
358
00:16:21,417 --> 00:16:22,625
Hey, gorgeous.
359
00:16:22,709 --> 00:16:25,125
Why don't you quick
drop this, huh?
360
00:16:25,208 --> 00:16:27,500
Hey, she's thinking about it.
361
00:16:27,583 --> 00:16:29,792
Where you going so fast?
362
00:16:29,875 --> 00:16:31,208
I got what you want.
363
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,041
I got what you need!
364
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,375
Like every woman
365
00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:36,458
consumed
with a relationship problem,
366
00:16:36,542 --> 00:16:39,291
I needed a project
to keep my mind from obsessing
367
00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:41,291
and my hands
from dialing his number.
368
00:16:45,834 --> 00:16:48,125
Three months and one week.
369
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:50,917
Miranda needed to keep
her hands busy as well.
370
00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:52,458
Did he call?
371
00:16:52,542 --> 00:16:53,750
Nope.
372
00:16:54,125 --> 00:16:55,917
And it's been two days.
373
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,291
Nice color.
374
00:16:58,875 --> 00:16:59,959
Ecru?
375
00:17:00,041 --> 00:17:01,375
Egg Shell .
376
00:17:02,959 --> 00:17:05,959
Well, I think it's over.
377
00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:08,500
I should never have farted.
378
00:17:08,583 --> 00:17:10,083
Jesus, Carrie.
That's it.
379
00:17:10,166 --> 00:17:11,333
I've heard enough
about the fart.
380
00:17:11,417 --> 00:17:12,500
It's not the fucking fart!
381
00:17:12,583 --> 00:17:14,583
I know it's not
the fucking fart.
382
00:17:15,375 --> 00:17:17,000
I just, I think I'm in love
with him
383
00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:19,125
and I'm terrified
that he's gonna leave me
384
00:17:19,208 --> 00:17:20,750
because I'm not perfect.
385
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,583
All right.
386
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,208
Let's just put the roller down
387
00:17:24,291 --> 00:17:26,709
and go in the other room
and talk, huh?
388
00:17:27,083 --> 00:17:29,959
The sex has stopped.
He hasn't called.
389
00:17:30,041 --> 00:17:33,208
What if he never calls,
and three weeks from now
I pick up The New York Times,
390
00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:36,000
and I read that he's married
some perfect little woman
391
00:17:36,083 --> 00:17:39,041
who never passes gas
under his $500 sheets.
392
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,917
When did you get so obsessed
with being perfect?
393
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,500
I don't know.
It's something about him.
394
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:43,750
I mean, you should
see me around him.
395
00:17:43,834 --> 00:17:44,875
I'm not like me.
396
00:17:44,959 --> 00:17:47,458
I'm like "together Carrie."
397
00:17:47,542 --> 00:17:49,166
You know, I wear little outfits.
398
00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:51,875
You know, "sexy Carrie"
and "casual Carrie."
399
00:17:51,959 --> 00:17:54,333
Sometimes I catch
myself actually posing.
400
00:17:54,417 --> 00:17:55,709
It's just, it's exhausting.
401
00:17:55,792 --> 00:17:56,959
Well, then stop!
402
00:17:57,458 --> 00:17:59,834
Why don't you show him
more of this Carrie?
She's pretty great.
403
00:17:59,917 --> 00:18:01,458
Yeah?
What if he doesn't like her?
404
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,291
Miranda?
405
00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,333
Oh, my God!
406
00:18:07,542 --> 00:18:08,917
Look at them.
407
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,291
Oh, wow.
408
00:18:10,375 --> 00:18:12,667
I had no idea they did
an afternoon show.
409
00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:14,041
When a show is good,
410
00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:15,375
word gets around.
411
00:18:15,458 --> 00:18:16,542
There we were,
412
00:18:16,625 --> 00:18:19,250
the '90s' version of
Matinee Ladies.
413
00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:20,667
Who said the theater was dead?
414
00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:21,917
Samantha, I cannot believe
415
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,417
that you would give
this up on purpose.
416
00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:25,291
Actually,
I hardly miss it.
417
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:26,583
How long has it been?
418
00:18:26,667 --> 00:18:28,041
A hundred years.
419
00:18:28,125 --> 00:18:29,583
It never goes down, does it?
420
00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:31,375
Look, it's still...
421
00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:33,375
-Hard.
-Yeah.
422
00:18:33,458 --> 00:18:35,125
Gummy bear, please.
423
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,583
Give me the fucking candy.
424
00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:41,000
Hey, snapping over gummy bears
425
00:18:41,083 --> 00:18:43,000
might be a sign
that celibacy's not for you.
426
00:18:43,083 --> 00:18:45,250
All I can say is that my big
pay off better be worth it.
427
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,917
Samantha, I don't
understand you.
428
00:18:47,208 --> 00:18:49,959
There are people starving
out there and you're fasting.
429
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:52,291
Stop complaining.
At least you can
take care of yourself.
430
00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:54,000
I'm way beyond that point.
431
00:18:54,083 --> 00:18:56,750
Besides, I think I've given
myself carpal tunnel.
432
00:18:56,834 --> 00:18:58,875
Oh, sure.
It's all fun until you
get to know each other.
433
00:19:01,417 --> 00:19:03,834
Yeah, that move right there?
That's what they're famous for.
434
00:19:04,375 --> 00:19:05,875
It's been an hour.
435
00:19:05,959 --> 00:19:07,792
How can that guy still be...
436
00:19:07,875 --> 00:19:09,166
Hard.
437
00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:11,959
I have got to try
this again with Kevin.
438
00:19:12,041 --> 00:19:13,375
I mean, we really
like each other.
439
00:19:13,458 --> 00:19:15,750
That's got to be stronger
than a drug, right?
440
00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:17,542
I'm warning you ladies,
441
00:19:17,709 --> 00:19:21,542
if I make it to four months,
I'm humping one of you.
442
00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:25,500
Oh, my God.
443
00:19:26,417 --> 00:19:27,458
I hate them.
444
00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:29,000
After the second show,
445
00:19:29,083 --> 00:19:31,375
each of us went on
with our Saturdays.
446
00:19:31,458 --> 00:19:34,375
Miranda went to get a movie and
another pound of gummy bears.
447
00:19:34,458 --> 00:19:36,583
Hey, hey!
It's my sweetheart.
448
00:19:36,917 --> 00:19:38,166
You're looking good, baby.
449
00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:39,417
Good enough to eat.
450
00:19:39,875 --> 00:19:41,000
Hey, where you going, doll?
451
00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:42,458
I got what you want.
452
00:19:42,709 --> 00:19:44,041
I got what you need.
453
00:19:44,125 --> 00:19:45,000
You talking to me?
454
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:47,250
Oh, we got a live one boys.
455
00:19:47,667 --> 00:19:48,959
You got what I want?
456
00:19:49,417 --> 00:19:50,458
-You got what I need?
-Uh-huh.
457
00:19:50,542 --> 00:19:52,250
Well, what I want
is to get laid.
458
00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:53,917
What I need is to get laid.
459
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,542
I need to get laid.
460
00:19:55,625 --> 00:19:57,417
Take it easy, lady.
I'm married.
461
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,959
All talk and no action, huh?
462
00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:01,458
What a gavone!
463
00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:04,709
Yeah, she's something else
when she's teed off.
464
00:20:04,792 --> 00:20:07,917
Samantha decided to
channel her frustration at yoga.
465
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:12,667
Good, now release and breathe.
466
00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:15,291
Unless you're planning
to move those hands down,
467
00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:16,875
get them off me.
468
00:20:16,959 --> 00:20:20,041
Exhale,
chaturanga dandasana...
469
00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:24,291
She had reached the end
of her path and her patience.
470
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:25,834
Psst.
471
00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:36,208
Want to fuck?
472
00:20:36,291 --> 00:20:37,959
What?
473
00:20:39,291 --> 00:20:40,625
Want to fuck?
474
00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:42,458
Yeah.
475
00:20:46,792 --> 00:20:49,125
Samantha spent
the rest of the afternoon
476
00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:52,250
having multiple yogasms.
477
00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:54,917
Later that night, Charlotte
was determined to prove
478
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:59,000
she was stronger than selective
serotonin re-uptake inhibitors.
479
00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:01,000
Isn't your arm getting tired?
480
00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:03,417
No, I think it's
starting to work.
481
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:06,500
Charlotte... it's not.
482
00:21:06,875 --> 00:21:08,667
and I'm beginning to chafe.
483
00:21:09,166 --> 00:21:10,166
Oh.
484
00:21:17,792 --> 00:21:20,000
-You okay?
-Yeah.
485
00:21:20,083 --> 00:21:23,333
I've just never been
in this situation before.
486
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:25,875
Do you think you'll ever...
487
00:21:28,125 --> 00:21:29,000
Never mind.
488
00:21:29,083 --> 00:21:31,041
What, think I'll ever go off it?
489
00:21:31,125 --> 00:21:31,959
Yeah.
490
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,041
Nope.
491
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,875
Not even for me?
492
00:21:35,959 --> 00:21:36,875
Nope.
493
00:21:37,792 --> 00:21:41,291
Oh, come on.
Wouldn't you rather be with
a guy who's kind and giving
494
00:21:41,375 --> 00:21:43,291
and not that interested in sex,
495
00:21:43,542 --> 00:21:45,291
than an unstable,
oversexed, prick,
496
00:21:45,375 --> 00:21:47,000
who only wants to get laid?
497
00:21:51,625 --> 00:21:52,875
Nope.
498
00:21:52,959 --> 00:21:54,792
Once Charlotte realized
she couldn't get
499
00:21:54,875 --> 00:21:56,250
what she
thought she didn't want,
500
00:21:56,333 --> 00:21:58,750
she couldn't imagine
going on without it.
501
00:22:00,291 --> 00:22:03,875
Saturday night's dinner came
and went with no call from Big.
502
00:22:03,959 --> 00:22:05,750
My life was suddenly shit,
503
00:22:05,834 --> 00:22:07,625
but my cabinets
were looking fabulous.
504
00:22:10,542 --> 00:22:11,750
Who is it?
505
00:22:11,834 --> 00:22:12,875
Me.
506
00:22:18,875 --> 00:22:20,041
Surprise.
507
00:22:20,625 --> 00:22:21,750
Yeah.
508
00:22:26,625 --> 00:22:27,875
Wow.
509
00:22:31,667 --> 00:22:32,917
What's all this?
510
00:22:33,667 --> 00:22:34,667
I'm painting.
511
00:22:34,750 --> 00:22:35,959
I can see that.
512
00:22:37,083 --> 00:22:41,583
Why didn't you call?
513
00:22:45,959 --> 00:22:48,041
So this is where you live.
514
00:22:51,041 --> 00:22:53,083
About time you invited me up.
515
00:22:53,375 --> 00:22:54,750
I didn't invite you.
516
00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:56,583
I know.
517
00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:06,083
It's nice.
518
00:23:06,750 --> 00:23:07,792
Very nice.
519
00:23:07,875 --> 00:23:09,417
No, it's not.
It's a mess.
520
00:23:10,583 --> 00:23:13,291
The floors need to be stripped
and the curtains are...
521
00:23:13,667 --> 00:23:14,667
It's...
522
00:23:15,041 --> 00:23:16,792
I want to change a lot of it.
523
00:23:18,291 --> 00:23:19,583
I don't know.
524
00:23:21,542 --> 00:23:22,500
I like it.
525
00:23:29,291 --> 00:23:30,834
I like it the way it is.
526
00:23:32,709 --> 00:23:34,667
What was that all about
the other night?
527
00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:36,750
That was me.
528
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,166
Having a meltdown.
529
00:23:39,458 --> 00:23:40,834
Okay.
530
00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:50,125
Nice paint.
531
00:23:51,417 --> 00:23:52,542
Egg Shell?
532
00:23:52,834 --> 00:23:53,709
Yes.
533
00:23:53,792 --> 00:23:55,000
Mm-hmm.
534
00:24:00,583 --> 00:24:01,917
Did you know
that there's a couple
535
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,834
humping outside of your window?
536
00:24:04,917 --> 00:24:06,041
Really?
537
00:24:06,333 --> 00:24:07,875
Oh, I never noticed.
538
00:24:08,542 --> 00:24:10,208
All I could think was...
539
00:24:10,291 --> 00:24:12,250
"Why aren't we having sex?"
540
00:24:12,333 --> 00:24:13,667
"Is this normal?"
541
00:24:14,208 --> 00:24:15,208
"What's wrong?"
542
00:24:15,291 --> 00:24:16,291
"Where are we going?"
543
00:24:16,375 --> 00:24:17,875
Oh, hell...
544
00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:21,375
we can do better than that.
545
00:24:25,834 --> 00:24:28,208
And then he kissed me.
546
00:24:29,917 --> 00:24:34,417
Odd how normal can sometimes
feel so uncomfortable.