1
00:00:48,005 --> 00:00:51,008
Once upon a time,
2
00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:53,019
in a kingdom
far away,
3
00:00:55,012 --> 00:00:59,015
a certain man and a slightly
less certain woman
4
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:02,004
kept bumping
into one another.
5
00:01:03,009 --> 00:01:05,008
They seemed to
meet everywhere.
6
00:01:08,009 --> 00:01:10,003
On street corners,
7
00:01:12,016 --> 00:01:14,014
at parties.
8
00:01:14,016 --> 00:01:18,008
It was almost as if they
were dating accidentally.
9
00:01:18,010 --> 00:01:21,002
And then, after
another chance meeting
10
00:01:21,004 --> 00:01:23,014
at a wealthy lawyer's
new son's bris...
11
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:25,020
Oh!
12
00:01:25,022 --> 00:01:30,000
...they decided to pick a time
to bump into each other
on purpose.
13
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,016
You wanna go out and get...
14
00:01:32,017 --> 00:01:34,000
Saturday, 10:30,
15
00:01:34,002 --> 00:01:36,012
the hottest new
restaurant in Manhattan.
16
00:01:36,014 --> 00:01:40,015
-You're not on the list.
Samantha's PR firm was
handling the opening.
17
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,005
Hi.
-Hey.
18
00:01:42,007 --> 00:01:44,000
Hey! Hi, pretty.
19
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,007
So, isn't
Brian great?
20
00:01:46,009 --> 00:01:48,007
Charlotte had
a new boyfriend.
21
00:01:48,009 --> 00:01:52,006
looks, manners, money.
22
00:01:52,008 --> 00:01:54,023
Did I tell you he wants to
buy a painting from my gallery?
23
00:01:55,001 --> 00:01:57,023
Love and a commission,
she couldn't have been happier.
24
00:01:58,001 --> 00:01:59,018
Alright,
it's official, he's late.
25
00:01:59,020 --> 00:02:00,016
Who?
26
00:02:00,018 --> 00:02:02,005
Mr. Big,
who else?
27
00:02:02,007 --> 00:02:04,023
Carrie, that's great!
Is it a date?
28
00:02:05,001 --> 00:02:06,000
No, he called
it a "thing."
29
00:02:06,002 --> 00:02:07,005
He said "Meet me...
30
00:02:07,007 --> 00:02:09,001
meet me for
a drink thing."
31
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:10,017
He never used
the "D" word.
32
00:02:10,019 --> 00:02:12,007
Well,
thing is good.
33
00:02:12,009 --> 00:02:14,001
I mean, thing comes
before date.
34
00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:16,000
Well, let's hope so.
Alright, I'm gonna go in.
35
00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:16,022
-Okay.
-Okay.
36
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:17,022
See you in there.
37
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,013
Where did
Skipper go?
38
00:02:19,015 --> 00:02:21,019
Oh, I don't know how you can
date that younger guy.
39
00:02:21,021 --> 00:02:23,015
I mean, they're so
scattered and unfocused.
40
00:02:23,017 --> 00:02:25,019
We're not dating,
it's a fuck thing.
41
00:02:26,023 --> 00:02:28,021
-Girls, isn't this fun?
Hello!
42
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:31,000
I've turned away
twenty so far.
43
00:02:31,002 --> 00:02:33,020
People are actually crying.
44
00:02:37,008 --> 00:02:39,004
Okay. Bye.
45
00:02:40,012 --> 00:02:42,012
Um, something came up.
46
00:02:42,014 --> 00:02:44,006
He's not
gonna meet me.
47
00:02:44,008 --> 00:02:47,001
Here, will you listen
to this and tell me
if you can figure out
48
00:02:47,003 --> 00:02:49,004
whether he's not
meeting me as a date
49
00:02:49,006 --> 00:02:50,019
or not meeting
me as a friend?
50
00:02:50,021 --> 00:02:52,008
Alright.
51
00:02:52,010 --> 00:02:54,019
Sometimes you need
a second opinion.
52
00:02:54,021 --> 00:02:57,007
With doctors,
real estate, men.
53
00:02:57,009 --> 00:02:59,004
Well?
54
00:02:59,006 --> 00:03:01,004
I have no idea.
55
00:03:01,010 --> 00:03:04,010
And I finished first
in my litigation class.
56
00:03:04,012 --> 00:03:06,008
How pathetic
do I feel
57
00:03:06,010 --> 00:03:09,015
asking you if a guy
kinda likes me?
58
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,005
There you are!
59
00:03:12,007 --> 00:03:13,012
Hey!
-Hey.
60
00:03:13,014 --> 00:03:15,001
Hi.
61
00:03:15,003 --> 00:03:17,002
Carrie, Miranda,
62
00:03:17,004 --> 00:03:20,009
this is the hottest
chef in New York, Jon.
63
00:03:20,011 --> 00:03:21,017
Jon.
64
00:03:21,019 --> 00:03:22,016
J-o-n.
65
00:03:22,018 --> 00:03:24,007
No "H",
no last name.
66
00:03:24,009 --> 00:03:26,021
His blue crab strudel was so
fabulous he didn't need one.
67
00:03:26,023 --> 00:03:30,000
And this is his very
cute friend, Sam.
68
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,003
Hey.
69
00:03:31,005 --> 00:03:32,009
Sam?
70
00:03:32,011 --> 00:03:33,012
Who's named Sam?
71
00:03:33,014 --> 00:03:34,018
Me.
72
00:03:34,020 --> 00:03:35,021
Can I get
you a drink?
73
00:03:35,023 --> 00:03:37,020
Oh, good luck,
the bar is packed.
74
00:03:37,022 --> 00:03:40,009
No problem, 'cause the
bartender's a buddy of mine.
75
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:42,012
-Miranda?
Martini.
76
00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:46,017
Twenty-something guys
always know the really
important "B"
77
00:03:47,016 --> 00:03:49,018
busboys, bouncers.
78
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:51,012
Plus, they
have cute butts.
79
00:03:51,014 --> 00:03:52,014
Hmm...
80
00:03:52,016 --> 00:03:54,007
That's the
Times critic.
81
00:03:54,009 --> 00:03:56,003
I'd better go.
82
00:03:58,004 --> 00:03:59,017
Mmm.
83
00:04:10,002 --> 00:04:12,005
Did I mention I'm
sleeping with him?
84
00:04:16,002 --> 00:04:17,010
Skipper!
85
00:04:19,022 --> 00:04:21,017
He's lost.
We gotta...
86
00:04:24,005 --> 00:04:25,009
They stopped
making martinis,
87
00:04:25,011 --> 00:04:27,016
so I got us two rum
and Cokes, is that okay?
88
00:04:27,018 --> 00:04:30,007
Well, I hate rum
and I hate Coke,
89
00:04:30,009 --> 00:04:31,012
but thanks.
90
00:04:31,014 --> 00:04:34,010
Martinis, ladies?
-Well, look at you.
91
00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:36,003
I was a
waiter at TGIF.
92
00:04:36,005 --> 00:04:37,017
Fabulous.
93
00:04:40,007 --> 00:04:42,000
-Hey.
-Hey.
94
00:04:42,002 --> 00:04:43,009
-Sam.
-Skipper.
95
00:04:43,011 --> 00:04:44,023
-Hey.
-Hey.
96
00:04:45,001 --> 00:04:47,007
They liked
each other immediately.
97
00:04:47,017 --> 00:04:49,007
You want to
see something?
98
00:04:50,013 --> 00:04:51,019
Come here.
99
00:04:53,023 --> 00:04:56,013
Can you narrow that
down a little bit?
100
00:04:58,005 --> 00:04:59,019
Wait.
I didn't--
101
00:05:00,023 --> 00:05:03,019
No fair.
Do it over. Let me see it.
102
00:05:03,021 --> 00:05:04,023
Oh!
103
00:05:06,023 --> 00:05:08,013
-Hey!
-Hey!
104
00:05:08,015 --> 00:05:09,017
It's you.
105
00:05:09,019 --> 00:05:11,009
I've been looking
all over for you.
106
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,023
Here you are,
107
00:05:13,001 --> 00:05:14,006
holding a tongue.
108
00:05:14,016 --> 00:05:16,010
Well, your message said
you weren't coming.
109
00:05:16,012 --> 00:05:18,012
I thought I said I'd try
to make it for an hour.
110
00:05:18,014 --> 00:05:20,002
Well, yeah, but
then you said that--
111
00:05:20,004 --> 00:05:22,022
-What-- What did I say?
-Never mind, never mind.
112
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,022
You're here. You have an hour.
Let's have a drink.
113
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,000
Well, I was outside trying to
get in for 30 minutes,
114
00:05:27,002 --> 00:05:28,015
inside looking for
you for 20 minutes.
115
00:05:28,017 --> 00:05:31,018
So that leaves me with just
enough time to tell you that...
116
00:05:32,014 --> 00:05:35,021
I'm out of time.
You have fun.
117
00:05:35,023 --> 00:05:39,018
Men in their 40's are
like the New York Times
Sunday crossword puzzle.
118
00:05:39,020 --> 00:05:41,010
Tricky,
complicated,
119
00:05:41,012 --> 00:05:44,002
and you're never really sure
you've got the right answer.
120
00:05:44,004 --> 00:05:46,010
This place is tired.
121
00:05:47,009 --> 00:05:48,022
Do you want to
get out of here?
122
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,010
Sure.
123
00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:53,001
Uh-huh.
124
00:05:53,013 --> 00:05:55,011
Why not?
125
00:05:55,013 --> 00:05:57,003
A short cab
ride later,
126
00:05:57,005 --> 00:05:59,013
Samantha, Jon, no "H",
Sam and I,
127
00:05:59,015 --> 00:06:02,007
found ourselves at the
nearby twenty-something club.
128
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:05,023
I can't believe you made
Jon leave his own opening.
129
00:06:06,001 --> 00:06:07,016
Well,
he is way too happening
130
00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:10,011
to be seen someplace
borderline tired.
131
00:06:10,013 --> 00:06:11,021
It was a
tough town.
132
00:06:11,023 --> 00:06:14,021
Hot places had the
life span of a med fly.
133
00:06:14,023 --> 00:06:16,002
Samantha,
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00:06:16,004 --> 00:06:18,015
everybody in here
is in their twenties.
135
00:06:18,017 --> 00:06:20,013
And so are we.
136
00:06:20,015 --> 00:06:22,004
As I glanced
around the room,
137
00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:26,017
I was amazed at the wide variety
of great twenty-something guys.
138
00:06:27,008 --> 00:06:29,022
The groovy guy.
139
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,017
The corporate guy.
140
00:06:32,009 --> 00:06:34,001
The jock guy.
141
00:06:35,005 --> 00:06:36,015
The underage guy.
142
00:06:40,014 --> 00:06:44,010
Oh, there you are.
How are you?
143
00:06:46,016 --> 00:06:47,022
Big couch.
144
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,008
Oh, here.
You can squeeze.
145
00:06:52,002 --> 00:06:54,006
Oh! Whoa!
146
00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:57,010
Oh!
147
00:06:58,005 --> 00:06:59,011
I'm all right.
148
00:07:00,006 --> 00:07:02,016
I'm not too heavy?
I don't weigh too much?
149
00:07:02,018 --> 00:07:04,006
Oh, right, you weigh
like nothing.
150
00:07:04,008 --> 00:07:06,010
Aw, what's cuter
than that?
151
00:07:07,021 --> 00:07:10,004
As we took a swig
from our pony-necked beers,
152
00:07:10,006 --> 00:07:13,007
I remembered another type
of twenty-something guy.
153
00:07:13,009 --> 00:07:14,016
So,
154
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,020
what's it like to kiss
with that thing?
155
00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:20,020
You want
to find out?
156
00:07:24,002 --> 00:07:26,009
The really good kisser guy.
157
00:07:40,005 --> 00:07:41,017
Hello.
158
00:07:41,019 --> 00:07:43,007
I am so fucked.
159
00:07:43,009 --> 00:07:44,007
What's wrong?
160
00:07:44,009 --> 00:07:45,017
No, I mean,
literally.
161
00:07:45,019 --> 00:07:48,010
I have been fucked every
way you can be fucked.
162
00:07:48,012 --> 00:07:52,002
If you keep talking like
that, I'm going to have to
charge you by the minute.
163
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:54,005
As I searched for my
morning Marlboro Light,
164
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:58,002
Samantha proceeded to give me a
rundown of her night with Jon.
165
00:07:58,004 --> 00:08:00,001
No "H",
no inhibitions.
166
00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:02,007
We did it with
him on top.
167
00:08:02,009 --> 00:08:05,018
Me on top.
Me on my side.
168
00:08:06,006 --> 00:08:07,011
Him on his side?
169
00:08:07,013 --> 00:08:09,004
Oh, God, yes.
170
00:08:09,006 --> 00:08:10,012
On his back,
171
00:08:10,014 --> 00:08:11,015
on his side,
172
00:08:11,017 --> 00:08:13,005
on his face.
173
00:08:13,007 --> 00:08:14,004
Have you
ever done that?
174
00:08:14,006 --> 00:08:16,002
It's too early
to remember.
175
00:08:16,004 --> 00:08:17,004
Well, do it
immediately.
176
00:08:17,006 --> 00:08:18,019
It is fabulous.
177
00:08:18,021 --> 00:08:21,017
These guys in their twenties,
they are up for anything.
178
00:08:21,019 --> 00:08:23,017
How did
it go with, uh...
179
00:08:23,019 --> 00:08:25,005
you and Sam?
180
00:08:25,007 --> 00:08:27,000
We kissed.
181
00:08:27,012 --> 00:08:29,000
Just kissed?
182
00:08:29,011 --> 00:08:32,004
No. We just kissed
for five hours.
183
00:08:32,017 --> 00:08:36,010
At the club, in front of the
club, on the corner of the club.
184
00:08:36,012 --> 00:08:39,001
I forgot how much fun it
is to just kiss, you know,
185
00:08:39,012 --> 00:08:41,004
even if I did only get
about two hours sleep.
186
00:08:41,006 --> 00:08:43,018
I didn't
sleep at all.
187
00:08:43,020 --> 00:08:46,020
As Samantha went on
about her sexual escapades,
188
00:08:46,022 --> 00:08:48,019
I glanced down at my arm.
189
00:08:48,021 --> 00:08:50,020
There it was
in Bic blue.
190
00:08:50,022 --> 00:08:53,000
Twenty-something
Sam's phone number.
191
00:08:53,002 --> 00:08:56,016
I had this sudden urge to
call but I'd just left him.
192
00:08:56,018 --> 00:08:58,022
Hell, my lips
were still swollen.
193
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,020
Why this
sudden craving?
194
00:09:00,022 --> 00:09:04,019
Are men in their twenties
the new designer drug?
195
00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:08,011
Yes, Samantha, Miranda and I
were all recreational users,
196
00:09:08,013 --> 00:09:11,001
but were we getting into
something we couldn't handle?
197
00:09:11,003 --> 00:09:14,022
Okay.
We were attracted to younger
men for various reasons.
198
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,009
But I couldn't
help but wonder,
199
00:09:16,011 --> 00:09:18,006
what do they
see in us?
200
00:09:19,007 --> 00:09:21,023
Women in their thirties
are just so grateful.
201
00:09:22,001 --> 00:09:24,018
It's like every bullshit,
nice thing you do
202
00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:26,023
is like throwing food to the
starving.
203
00:09:29,004 --> 00:09:30,006
Take your shot!
204
00:09:32,007 --> 00:09:35,007
They give great head
and know a lot about wine.
205
00:09:39,003 --> 00:09:40,016
They remind
me of my mom.
206
00:09:46,016 --> 00:09:50,000
They know who they are
and what they want.
And I like that.
207
00:09:53,003 --> 00:09:55,019
Come on, take it!
Come on, take it, man!
208
00:09:57,004 --> 00:09:57,023
Fuck!
209
00:09:58,001 --> 00:09:59,022
smart pussy.
210
00:10:02,004 --> 00:10:04,000
Shoot it!
211
00:10:04,002 --> 00:10:06,004
Later that week,
Miranda and I compared notes.
212
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,015
Shouldn't we be
dating men our own age?
213
00:10:08,017 --> 00:10:10,005
Good luck
finding one.
214
00:10:10,007 --> 00:10:13,003
There are no available men in
their thirties in New York.
215
00:10:13,005 --> 00:10:15,019
Giuliani had them removed
along with the homeless.
216
00:10:17,003 --> 00:10:18,013
Well, so then what's
really going on here?
217
00:10:18,015 --> 00:10:21,015
I mean, is it younger...
younger men feel safer?
218
00:10:21,017 --> 00:10:24,004
What's really going
on here is sex.
219
00:10:24,006 --> 00:10:26,004
Good old fashioned,
eager to please,
220
00:10:26,006 --> 00:10:28,014
do what I tell you to,
Eagle Scout sex.
221
00:10:28,016 --> 00:10:30,006
Yeah, but I'm
not having sex.
222
00:10:30,008 --> 00:10:31,017
It's a
kissing thing.
223
00:10:32,003 --> 00:10:33,014
So what's
the big deal?
224
00:10:33,016 --> 00:10:35,002
It's just a fling.
225
00:10:35,004 --> 00:10:37,007
It's not like we're throwing
out our schedules or anything.
226
00:10:37,009 --> 00:10:39,001
Oh, sweetie,
I gotta go.
227
00:10:39,003 --> 00:10:40,021
-Yeah?
-I'm late for a
meeting with my editor.
228
00:10:40,023 --> 00:10:41,022
-Oh.
Bye!
229
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,001
Bye.
230
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:46,017
I didn't want to tell
her I canceled lunch
231
00:10:46,019 --> 00:10:48,004
with my editor to go to
Banana Republic
232
00:10:48,006 --> 00:10:50,012
and help twenty-something
Sam pick out a shirt.
233
00:10:54,023 --> 00:10:55,022
Here.
234
00:10:57,007 --> 00:11:00,007
As I helped him try
them on, I thought...
235
00:11:00,009 --> 00:11:03,008
he's sweet, he's fun,
and I think he likes me.
236
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:05,006
Could he be
more than a fling?
237
00:11:05,008 --> 00:11:08,003
Could he be a
potential boyfriend?
238
00:11:08,005 --> 00:11:09,015
Please.
239
00:11:10,016 --> 00:11:12,006
This isn't the Gap.
240
00:11:14,008 --> 00:11:15,016
What's wrong with him?
241
00:11:15,018 --> 00:11:18,003
And speaking of
potential boyfriends...
242
00:11:18,005 --> 00:11:20,005
later that week
the crossword puzzle
243
00:11:20,007 --> 00:11:22,016
asked me to meet him
for a drink, blank.
244
00:11:22,018 --> 00:11:26,000
Not quite a date, five letters,
starts with a "T".
245
00:11:30,007 --> 00:11:31,018
Yeah, whoever this is,
I can't talk.
246
00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:33,020
-I'm late for a drink thing.
-I just need five minutes.
247
00:11:33,022 --> 00:11:35,020
I'm meeting Brian later and
I don't know what to do.
248
00:11:35,022 --> 00:11:38,007
-About what?
Well, last night
249
00:11:38,009 --> 00:11:40,019
after a movie, we were walking
down 2nd Avenue
250
00:11:40,021 --> 00:11:42,016
-and we we just pass that
cute little--
-Four minutes, Charlotte.
251
00:11:42,018 --> 00:11:46,008
Okay, I can't just blurt
out what he asked me,
it's embarrassing.
252
00:11:46,010 --> 00:11:47,012
What?
253
00:11:47,014 --> 00:11:50,003
What did the perfect
boyfriend ask?
254
00:11:51,017 --> 00:11:54,000
Meet me in front of your
apartment in ten minutes.
255
00:11:57,004 --> 00:11:58,016
Okay, words
are essential.
256
00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:00,019
Tell me exactly
how he worded it.
257
00:12:00,021 --> 00:12:03,013
"We've been seeing each
other for a couple of weeks.
258
00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:04,020
I really like you,
259
00:12:04,022 --> 00:12:06,019
and tomorrow night
after dinner,
260
00:12:06,021 --> 00:12:08,019
I want us to
have anal sex."
261
00:12:08,021 --> 00:12:11,012
Okay, next stop is gonna be
62nd and Madison.
262
00:12:11,014 --> 00:12:12,015
Sixty-second and Madison?
263
00:12:12,017 --> 00:12:13,019
We're picking up Miranda.
264
00:12:13,021 --> 00:12:15,003
-No, God, no.
-Yes, and then
265
00:12:15,005 --> 00:12:17,010
-we're picking up Samantha.
-Oh, Carrie, no.
266
00:12:17,012 --> 00:12:19,017
Sweetie, listen, you need all
the girl support you can get
267
00:12:19,019 --> 00:12:21,005
and I'm late for
drinks with Big.
268
00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:22,016
Oh, that's great.
269
00:12:22,018 --> 00:12:25,005
Even in her state
of abject blackness,
270
00:12:25,007 --> 00:12:27,008
Charlotte was a
dating optimist.
271
00:12:27,010 --> 00:12:28,010
It all depends.
272
00:12:28,012 --> 00:12:30,012
-How much do you like him?
-A lot.
273
00:12:30,014 --> 00:12:32,023
Dating a few months
until someone better
comes along a lot,
274
00:12:33,001 --> 00:12:35,005
or marrying and moving
to East Hampton a lot?
275
00:12:35,007 --> 00:12:37,005
I don't know.
I'm not sure.
276
00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:39,001
Well, you better
get sure real quick.
277
00:12:39,003 --> 00:12:40,007
You're scaring me.
278
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,019
-Okay.
-Don't scare her.
279
00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:43,010
It's all
about control.
280
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,022
If he goes up there, there's
going to be a shift in power.
281
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,023
Either he'll have the
upper hand or you will.
282
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,003
Now there's a certain camp
that believe whoever holds
283
00:12:50,005 --> 00:12:52,002
the dick, holds
the power but...
284
00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:52,023
Hello.
285
00:12:53,001 --> 00:12:54,006
You're driving.
286
00:12:56,018 --> 00:12:58,002
if he goes
up your butt,
287
00:12:58,004 --> 00:13:00,000
will he respect you
more or respect you less?
288
00:13:00,002 --> 00:13:01,005
That's the issue.
289
00:13:01,007 --> 00:13:02,022
No, no smoking in cab.
290
00:13:03,022 --> 00:13:05,006
Sir, we're talking
up the butt.
291
00:13:05,008 --> 00:13:06,021
A cigarette is in order.
292
00:13:07,012 --> 00:13:08,017
Front, back,
who cares?
293
00:13:08,019 --> 00:13:10,007
A hole
is a hole.
294
00:13:10,009 --> 00:13:11,011
Can I
quote you?
295
00:13:11,013 --> 00:13:12,014
Oh, don't be
so judgmental.
296
00:13:12,016 --> 00:13:14,017
You could use a
little back door.
297
00:13:14,019 --> 00:13:16,008
I'm not a hole.
298
00:13:16,010 --> 00:13:17,012
Honey,
we know.
299
00:13:17,014 --> 00:13:18,022
Look, all I'm saying,
that this is...
300
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,012
This is a physical
expression that the body was--
301
00:13:21,014 --> 00:13:23,009
well, it was designed to
experience.
302
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,010
And P.S.
303
00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:26,000
It's fabulous.
304
00:13:26,002 --> 00:13:27,003
What are you
talking about?
305
00:13:27,005 --> 00:13:28,011
I went to Smith.
306
00:13:28,013 --> 00:13:31,001
Look, I'm just saying,
with the right guy
307
00:13:31,003 --> 00:13:32,009
and the right lubricant...
308
00:13:35,011 --> 00:13:37,006
Whoa.
309
00:13:37,008 --> 00:13:39,003
What was that?
310
00:13:39,005 --> 00:13:40,010
A preview?
311
00:13:47,006 --> 00:13:48,017
Thanks.
312
00:13:52,009 --> 00:13:55,023
Well, I can't
believe it.
313
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:58,013
Same time,
same place.
314
00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:00,015
Just you and me.
315
00:14:01,009 --> 00:14:03,023
Well,
sort of.
316
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,007
Meet my friend, Jack.
317
00:14:08,005 --> 00:14:09,002
Oh.
318
00:14:09,004 --> 00:14:10,011
Hi,
how are you?
319
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,008
Marvelous.
Going through my second divorce,
320
00:14:13,010 --> 00:14:16,000
bitch is getting everything
the first bitch didn't.
321
00:14:16,002 --> 00:14:20,004
There he was, right in
the middle of my drink thing.
322
00:14:20,006 --> 00:14:22,000
Mr. Marvelous.
323
00:14:22,018 --> 00:14:23,022
Jesus.
324
00:14:24,007 --> 00:14:26,011
Look at that
beautiful woman.
325
00:14:27,008 --> 00:14:29,005
I'm gonna go ask her
to join us for dinner.
326
00:14:29,007 --> 00:14:30,009
Excuse me.
327
00:14:30,011 --> 00:14:31,011
Okay.
328
00:14:37,022 --> 00:14:40,012
He called me crying.
329
00:14:45,012 --> 00:14:46,021
Do you forgive me?
330
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,019
Here's what.
331
00:14:54,015 --> 00:14:57,003
Why don't you two
have a guy's night.
332
00:14:57,005 --> 00:15:00,002
You know, talk,
cry, shoot bear.
333
00:15:00,004 --> 00:15:02,010
I'm way behind
on my column anyway.
334
00:15:03,009 --> 00:15:04,004
Here.
335
00:15:04,006 --> 00:15:06,007
Next round
on me.
336
00:15:06,009 --> 00:15:08,015
We'll do our thing
another time.
337
00:15:09,021 --> 00:15:11,019
Are you sure?
338
00:15:14,011 --> 00:15:17,011
Abso-fucking-lutely.
339
00:15:17,013 --> 00:15:19,021
I didn't know what I
was supposed to feel.
340
00:15:19,023 --> 00:15:23,012
Confused,
sad, rejected?
341
00:15:23,014 --> 00:15:25,020
I decided to walk
to clear my head.
342
00:15:25,022 --> 00:15:28,012
Also, I just left my
cab fare on the table.
343
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:30,000
So I walked.
344
00:15:30,002 --> 00:15:33,012
I walked 48 blocks
in four hundred dollar shoes.
345
00:15:39,023 --> 00:15:42,006
I just needed something
to take the edge off.
346
00:15:46,022 --> 00:15:49,007
A little kiss to
make me feel better.
347
00:16:04,011 --> 00:16:06,012
But now,
it wasn't working.
348
00:16:06,014 --> 00:16:09,000
I wasn't getting
the same rush.
349
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:11,005
Tonight, I needed more.
350
00:16:11,007 --> 00:16:16,009
Meanwhile, uptown, Charlotte
wondered when relationships had
gotten so complicated.
351
00:16:16,011 --> 00:16:19,008
She yearned for the time
when dinner was followed
by dessert,
352
00:16:19,010 --> 00:16:20,016
not lubricant.
353
00:16:21,007 --> 00:16:23,016
I-- I can't,
Brian, I can't.
354
00:16:23,018 --> 00:16:25,007
I want to, but I can't.
355
00:16:25,009 --> 00:16:28,015
I mean, actually,
no, that's not true.
I don't want to.
356
00:16:28,017 --> 00:16:30,017
Or maybe I do.
I don't know what I want, but,
357
00:16:30,019 --> 00:16:32,004
I'm afraid if I don't then
you'll dump me
358
00:16:32,006 --> 00:16:34,006
and if I do, then I'll be
the up-the-butt-girl.
359
00:16:34,008 --> 00:16:35,023
And I don't want to be
the up-the-butt-girl.
360
00:16:36,001 --> 00:16:38,008
Because, I mean, men don't
marry the up-the-butt-girl.
361
00:16:38,010 --> 00:16:40,004
Who ever heard of
Mrs. Up-The-Butt?
362
00:16:40,006 --> 00:16:41,010
No, no, no.
363
00:16:41,012 --> 00:16:42,023
I can't.
364
00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:45,008
I want children and
nice bedding and...
365
00:16:45,010 --> 00:16:47,013
I just can't handle
this right now.
366
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,011
Can we fuck
the regular way?
367
00:16:53,001 --> 00:16:54,018
Yes, please.
368
00:16:59,012 --> 00:17:02,016
That night they made
369
00:17:02,018 --> 00:17:04,000
polite and respectful
370
00:17:04,002 --> 00:17:07,011
on three hundred count
Egyptian cotton sheets.
371
00:17:08,015 --> 00:17:10,016
Meanwhile, downtown...
372
00:17:12,015 --> 00:17:15,002
That was
really great.
373
00:17:18,008 --> 00:17:19,018
Do you know...
374
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:20,021
Yeah.
375
00:17:20,023 --> 00:17:23,006
-...when you lay like that...
-Mm-hmm.
376
00:17:23,008 --> 00:17:26,022
...you have the cutest little
wrinkles in your neck.
377
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,012
Samantha realized
as long as she dated
someone younger,
378
00:17:30,014 --> 00:17:32,021
she would
always be older.
379
00:17:32,023 --> 00:17:35,011
She gave up twenty-somethings
right then and there.
380
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:37,011
As Samantha
went cold turkey...
381
00:17:39,019 --> 00:17:42,002
I got in
deeper and deeper.
382
00:17:49,022 --> 00:17:50,019
Oh, that was...
383
00:17:50,021 --> 00:17:52,010
Totally awesome.
384
00:17:52,012 --> 00:17:54,018
I was hooked.
Gone.
385
00:17:54,020 --> 00:17:56,006
Who cares
about age,
386
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:57,013
crossword puzzles,
387
00:17:57,015 --> 00:17:59,006
the cab money I'd
left on the table?
388
00:17:59,008 --> 00:18:00,018
This felt so good.
389
00:18:00,020 --> 00:18:02,022
I'd do anything
to keep this high.
390
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,008
And just when I thought
I couldn't get any higher...
391
00:18:06,010 --> 00:18:08,011
he spooned me.
392
00:18:17,014 --> 00:18:21,014
I woke up wanting
more, or maybe not.
393
00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:23,000
In the gray
morning light,
394
00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:26,020
everything looked
completely different.
395
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:31,012
Candles from Urban Outfitter,
dirty laundry, a pizza box.
396
00:18:31,014 --> 00:18:33,023
Suddenly,
reality hit.
397
00:18:34,001 --> 00:18:36,006
I'm in a twenty-something
apartment.
398
00:18:38,001 --> 00:18:39,006
Morning, babe.
399
00:18:39,021 --> 00:18:41,001
Morning.
400
00:18:41,003 --> 00:18:43,012
Fuck! I had
this amazing dream.
401
00:18:44,015 --> 00:18:49,004
My father and my ex-girlfriend
were, like, dead or something.
402
00:18:49,006 --> 00:18:50,014
Hey, how you doing?
403
00:18:50,016 --> 00:18:52,001
It's good to see you.
404
00:18:52,003 --> 00:18:53,007
Coffee.
I need coffee.
405
00:18:53,009 --> 00:18:55,007
Yeah, it's in the,
in the kitchen.
406
00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:58,001
And I had
these big hands!
407
00:18:58,003 --> 00:19:00,021
Like big
aluminum hands.
408
00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:05,022
And I lived in this, like,
big missile silo that was
409
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,007
totally nuclear and it
was surrounded by, like,
410
00:19:08,009 --> 00:19:11,020
my enemies and shit, and
one by one, they'd run at me.
411
00:19:11,022 --> 00:19:14,016
I mean, they got
inside somehow.
412
00:19:14,018 --> 00:19:16,005
I don't
remember, but...
413
00:19:16,007 --> 00:19:17,019
they would
like run at me
414
00:19:17,021 --> 00:19:21,013
and I would crush them to pieces
with my big aluminum hands.
415
00:19:21,015 --> 00:19:23,016
I, like, I crushed
this one guy.
416
00:19:23,018 --> 00:19:28,007
He had no face and stuff,
but I crushed him.
417
00:19:28,021 --> 00:19:32,019
I could crush anything with
these big fucking hands, man.
418
00:19:32,021 --> 00:19:35,000
-You don't have any coffee--
419
00:19:35,012 --> 00:19:36,015
You don't have
any coffee filters.
420
00:19:36,017 --> 00:19:38,019
Oh, I'll make that.
That's alright.
421
00:19:38,021 --> 00:19:39,018
Oh!
422
00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:41,002
You were in the dream.
423
00:19:41,004 --> 00:19:43,022
As this beautiful
unicorn woman
424
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,002
with glass eyes.
425
00:19:46,004 --> 00:19:47,022
You, coffee.
Me, bathroom.
426
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:51,001
Yeah. That'd make a kick-ass
song, wouldn't it?
427
00:19:51,003 --> 00:19:52,021
♪ Unicorn woman ♪
428
00:19:52,023 --> 00:19:55,021
-Coffee.
-♪ Ooo, ooo, ooo ♪
429
00:20:01,004 --> 00:20:03,001
Oh, that's
my roommate.
430
00:20:04,021 --> 00:20:07,013
Every fiber in my
thirty-something being
431
00:20:07,015 --> 00:20:10,015
was screaming, "Get out.
You're too old for this."
432
00:20:10,017 --> 00:20:12,022
And just when I thought
I couldn't sink any lower...
433
00:20:15,019 --> 00:20:17,018
I need
toilet paper!
434
00:20:18,010 --> 00:20:21,007
I'm just using the last
of it to make the coffee.
435
00:20:27,020 --> 00:20:31,016
I decided the only way
to break free was to move from
one addiction
436
00:20:31,018 --> 00:20:33,004
to an even
bigger one.
437
00:20:35,006 --> 00:20:36,014
Shoes.
438
00:20:38,008 --> 00:20:40,018
A couple of blocks and
way too much money later,
439
00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:44,023
I realized I had just entered an
interesting chapter in my life.
440
00:20:45,001 --> 00:20:46,014
I had outgrown
the boys of my past
441
00:20:46,016 --> 00:20:49,010
and not quite grown into
the men of my future.
442
00:20:49,012 --> 00:20:50,019
Hey!
443
00:20:50,021 --> 00:20:52,000
Hi.
444
00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:53,012
Hello.
-Hi, how are ya?
445
00:20:53,014 --> 00:20:57,003
Why is it in a city
of ten million men,
446
00:20:57,005 --> 00:20:58,016
you always see the
one you don't want
447
00:20:58,018 --> 00:21:00,009
and never see
the one you--
448
00:21:00,011 --> 00:21:02,016
Hi.
449
00:21:03,023 --> 00:21:05,011
What are you
doing down there?
450
00:21:05,013 --> 00:21:06,023
Oh, it's a
wobbly table.
451
00:21:07,001 --> 00:21:08,011
Guess I have
the touch.
452
00:21:08,013 --> 00:21:09,015
Would you care
to join us?
453
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:12,002
Hinge.
454
00:21:12,013 --> 00:21:14,013
-What?
Your crossword puzzle.
455
00:21:15,001 --> 00:21:17,021
Five letter word, to bring
together. Hinge.
456
00:21:18,019 --> 00:21:19,017
Well,
nice seeing you.
457
00:21:19,019 --> 00:21:21,014
-Bye.
-Bye.
458
00:21:21,016 --> 00:21:22,018
Excuse me.
459
00:21:22,020 --> 00:21:24,021
Uh, hey, just
so you know, uh...
460
00:21:24,023 --> 00:21:27,011
I would have gotten
"hinge" on my own.
461
00:21:27,013 --> 00:21:28,019
Maybe.
462
00:21:28,021 --> 00:21:30,007
I have no doubt.
463
00:21:30,009 --> 00:21:31,023
Now that I've got Jack
hooked up, I'm single again.
464
00:21:32,001 --> 00:21:34,007
Maybe we could
have dinner sometime?
465
00:21:34,009 --> 00:21:36,021
Hmm.
I don't know.
466
00:21:36,023 --> 00:21:38,004
I'm good at
crossword puzzles.
467
00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:41,002
I'm just not so good
at people puzzles.
468
00:21:41,011 --> 00:21:42,017
Anywhere you want.
469
00:21:42,023 --> 00:21:44,009
Just you and me.
470
00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:47,018
Call me.
471
00:21:49,014 --> 00:21:51,021
As I walked away,
472
00:21:51,023 --> 00:21:53,015
maybe all men
are a drug.
473
00:21:53,017 --> 00:21:55,009
Sometimes they
bring you down
474
00:21:55,011 --> 00:21:58,020
and sometimes, like now,
they get you so high.
475
00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:05,007
Damn... It would have been so
cool if I hadn't looked back.