1 00:00:57,125 --> 00:01:00,165 New York City is all about sex. 2 00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:02,000 People getting it. 3 00:01:02,083 --> 00:01:03,883 People trying to get it. 4 00:01:03,959 --> 00:01:05,669 And people who can't get it. 5 00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:07,500 No wonder the city never sleeps, 6 00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:09,213 it's too busy trying to get laid. 7 00:01:09,291 --> 00:01:13,541 But if you ever actually do manage to get someone in bed, 8 00:01:13,625 --> 00:01:14,955 the real fun begins. 9 00:01:17,125 --> 00:01:18,705 That's the kind with nuts in it. 10 00:01:18,792 --> 00:01:19,922 Mm-hmm. 11 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,130 We love our nuts. 12 00:01:21,208 --> 00:01:22,418 Mm-hmm. 13 00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:25,503 Mmm. 14 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,210 After sleeping together for many weeks, 15 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,501 Mr. Big and I had gotten comfortable enough 16 00:01:33,583 --> 00:01:35,383 to really sleep together. 17 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:41,997 It was nice. 18 00:01:42,083 --> 00:01:44,833 It was the way I'd always dreamed it could be. 19 00:01:45,333 --> 00:01:46,633 Good morning. 20 00:01:46,875 --> 00:01:47,825 Morning. 21 00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:59,503 Was that you? 22 00:01:59,875 --> 00:02:02,875 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 23 00:02:02,959 --> 00:02:05,579 I think it might be worse under there. 24 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,667 Shut up. Shut up! 25 00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:11,790 -Shut up! 26 00:02:11,875 --> 00:02:14,165 I hadn't dressed so quickly since the time I was caught 27 00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:15,670 in the boy's dorm sophomore year. 28 00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:17,210 Wait. Don't you want some coffee? 29 00:02:17,291 --> 00:02:19,881 Oh, gosh. I'm late for a thing. 30 00:02:21,333 --> 00:02:22,503 Oh, my God. 31 00:02:22,583 --> 00:02:24,963 I was mortified. Oh. 32 00:02:25,041 --> 00:02:27,131 I didn't call him the rest of the day. 33 00:02:27,208 --> 00:02:28,668 I tried to lose myself in work, 34 00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:31,290 but every time I stopped for a second to think, 35 00:02:31,375 --> 00:02:32,995 -Oh, God. 36 00:02:33,083 --> 00:02:37,003 I'd relive my hell all over again. 37 00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:40,463 The next day, I realized how childish I was behaving. 38 00:02:40,542 --> 00:02:42,462 I decided to stop avoiding the situation 39 00:02:42,542 --> 00:02:44,252 and take the grown-up approach, 40 00:02:44,333 --> 00:02:45,633 complete and utter denial. 41 00:02:45,709 --> 00:02:48,499 Oh, so I saw The Met is opening a new Goya exhibit. 42 00:02:48,583 --> 00:02:49,963 Do you want to go this Saturday? 43 00:02:50,875 --> 00:02:51,915 Sure. 44 00:02:53,125 --> 00:02:55,665 Could you get me some more duck sauce, please? 45 00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:57,420 I most certainly can. 46 00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:01,500 Oh, and then we have to stop and see the Renoirs. 47 00:03:01,583 --> 00:03:03,293 I love the Renoirs. 48 00:03:03,542 --> 00:03:04,712 Okay. 49 00:03:10,583 --> 00:03:12,583 There's a moment in every relationship 50 00:03:12,667 --> 00:03:14,917 where romance gives way to reality. 51 00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:34,380 You know, you know what? 52 00:03:34,458 --> 00:03:35,918 I'm exhausted. 53 00:03:37,208 --> 00:03:39,128 You mind if we just call it a night? 54 00:03:39,792 --> 00:03:40,962 -Okay? -Sure. 55 00:03:41,041 --> 00:03:42,171 Sorry. 56 00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:46,915 Goodnight. 57 00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:51,333 That was the first night we slept together 58 00:03:51,417 --> 00:03:53,127 and didn't make love. 59 00:03:53,208 --> 00:03:56,878 By the middle of the next week, it was three times in a row, 60 00:03:56,959 --> 00:03:58,209 and I was beginning to worry. 61 00:03:58,291 --> 00:03:59,211 Three times? 62 00:03:59,291 --> 00:04:00,291 Try three months. 63 00:04:00,375 --> 00:04:01,955 -No. -Yes. 64 00:04:02,625 --> 00:04:03,785 Now would be a good time 65 00:04:03,875 --> 00:04:06,165 to wipe that horrified look off your face. 66 00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:08,040 Sorry, sweetie. I'm sorry. 67 00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:10,665 I just-- wow, I didn't know. Where have I been? 68 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,210 You've been having sex. 69 00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:15,380 I've been at Blockbuster renting videos. 70 00:04:15,458 --> 00:04:16,878 It's tragic. 71 00:04:16,959 --> 00:04:19,419 I'm like two rentals away from a free pound of gummy bears. 72 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:21,210 Oh, relax. You're just in a dry spell. 73 00:04:21,291 --> 00:04:22,671 I can't believe you said that. 74 00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:24,750 You're all freaked out about three times. 75 00:04:24,834 --> 00:04:27,004 -I'm talking three months. -Yeah, but that's different. 76 00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:29,253 Not doing it when you're with someone means much more 77 00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:31,423 than not doing it when you're not with someone. 78 00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:32,750 What are you worried about? 79 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,000 I thought you said everything felt 80 00:04:34,083 --> 00:04:35,543 really comfortable and great. 81 00:04:35,625 --> 00:04:37,415 Yeah, well, maybe too comfortable. 82 00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:38,540 What do you mean? 83 00:04:41,125 --> 00:04:42,245 I farted. 84 00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:45,503 I farted in front of my boyfriend. 85 00:04:45,583 --> 00:04:47,003 And? 86 00:04:47,083 --> 00:04:48,503 And we're no longer having sex 87 00:04:48,583 --> 00:04:51,753 and he thinks of me as one of the boys. 88 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,794 And I'm gonna have to move to another city 89 00:04:53,875 --> 00:04:57,205 where the shame of this won't follow me. 90 00:04:57,291 --> 00:04:58,961 You farted! You're human. 91 00:04:59,041 --> 00:05:00,961 I don't want him to know that. 92 00:05:01,041 --> 00:05:03,711 I mean, he's this perfect guy. 93 00:05:03,792 --> 00:05:06,292 You know, he walks around his perfect apartment with his perfect suit. 94 00:05:06,375 --> 00:05:08,205 And he's just perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect. 95 00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:09,791 And I'm the girl who farts. 96 00:05:09,875 --> 00:05:12,785 -No wonder we're not having sex. -You're insane. 97 00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:14,285 It's been three times. 98 00:05:14,375 --> 00:05:15,415 It's perfectly normal. 99 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:16,460 Says who? 100 00:05:16,709 --> 00:05:20,039 I mean, say it's not the-- 101 00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:22,420 then what else is going on? 102 00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:25,000 I mean is it normal to be in the same bed and not do it? 103 00:05:25,083 --> 00:05:28,083 I guess it depends on what's normal for you. 104 00:05:28,166 --> 00:05:29,706 Oh, God, I hate that. 105 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,830 Who am I to know what's normal? 106 00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:34,500 I've been dating a hundred years, I don't have a clue. 107 00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:37,923 Well, three months is not normal for me. 108 00:05:38,417 --> 00:05:40,037 One month was interesting. 109 00:05:40,125 --> 00:05:41,325 Two months was numbing. 110 00:05:41,417 --> 00:05:44,787 Three months, I am going out of my mind. 111 00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:48,125 There are 1.3 million single men in New York. 112 00:05:48,208 --> 00:05:50,168 1.8 million single women. 113 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:53,210 And of these more than 3 million people, 114 00:05:53,291 --> 00:05:56,671 about 12 think they're having enough sex. 115 00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:58,380 How often is normal? 116 00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:01,748 I have to masturbate three times a day just to make it through. 117 00:06:01,834 --> 00:06:04,714 Some people take coffee breaks. I take jerk off breaks. 118 00:06:04,792 --> 00:06:07,002 They say the average 33-year old woman 119 00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:08,833 has sex 3.5 times a week. 120 00:06:08,917 --> 00:06:10,497 I'd like to know who that woman Is. 121 00:06:10,583 --> 00:06:13,293 You know, my wife and I haven't had sex since the baby was born. 122 00:06:13,917 --> 00:06:16,127 The baby's applying to Yale next fall. 123 00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:23,418 Oh, once, one time a day, but two time on very special day. 124 00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,706 Normal is the halfway point 125 00:06:25,792 --> 00:06:28,582 between what you want and what you can get. 126 00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:30,287 Even in the plow position, 127 00:06:30,375 --> 00:06:33,535 I could count on Samantha for amazing sexual clarity. 128 00:06:33,625 --> 00:06:36,325 Very good. Let's move on to downward facing dog. 129 00:06:36,417 --> 00:06:37,577 Whoof. 130 00:06:37,667 --> 00:06:41,787 With him, I could do it every hour on the hour. 131 00:06:42,583 --> 00:06:43,713 Do you think it means something 132 00:06:43,792 --> 00:06:45,882 if Big and I are sleeping together 133 00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:47,710 but we're not sleeping together? 134 00:06:47,792 --> 00:06:48,712 The truth? 135 00:06:48,792 --> 00:06:50,292 When have I ever wanted that? 136 00:06:50,625 --> 00:06:51,875 Yeah, okay, tell me. 137 00:06:51,959 --> 00:06:52,999 I think there's trouble. 138 00:06:53,083 --> 00:06:54,713 I mean, sex is a barometer 139 00:06:54,792 --> 00:06:56,672 for what's going on in the relationship. 140 00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:00,167 Well, I wasn't going to tell you this, but, um... 141 00:07:02,834 --> 00:07:03,834 I farted. 142 00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:05,753 Then move your mat away. 143 00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:06,924 Not now. 144 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,830 I did it in front of Big. 145 00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:10,753 Huge mistake. 146 00:07:10,834 --> 00:07:11,884 You think? 147 00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:13,423 It wasn't a choice. 148 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:14,710 I'm human. It happened. 149 00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:16,292 No, honey, you're a woman, 150 00:07:16,375 --> 00:07:18,455 and men don't like women to be human. 151 00:07:18,542 --> 00:07:20,002 We aren't supposed to fart, 152 00:07:20,083 --> 00:07:22,923 douche, use tampons, or have hair in places we shouldn't. 153 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,830 I mean, hell, a guy once broke up with me 154 00:07:24,917 --> 00:07:26,917 because I missed a bikini wax. 155 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,130 I knew it. 156 00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,083 This is a watershed relationship moment 157 00:07:30,166 --> 00:07:31,496 I'm never gonna be able to erase. 158 00:07:31,583 --> 00:07:32,753 Oh, sure you will. 159 00:07:32,834 --> 00:07:34,754 Just go over there and fuck his brains out, 160 00:07:34,834 --> 00:07:35,924 and he'll forget all about it. 161 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,380 Men aren't that complicated. 162 00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:38,748 They're kind of like plants. 163 00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:40,884 Concentrate. Quiet your insides. 164 00:07:40,959 --> 00:07:41,959 Now he tells me. 165 00:07:42,041 --> 00:07:43,501 Roll over on your backs. 166 00:07:43,583 --> 00:07:44,753 Take Goddess pose. 167 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,536 Let your breathing work with you. 168 00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:52,538 In and out. 169 00:07:52,625 --> 00:07:54,125 Ahh. 170 00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:57,998 In, out. 171 00:07:58,083 --> 00:07:59,883 Ahh. 172 00:08:00,583 --> 00:08:02,833 Would you like to go for a coffee some time? 173 00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:05,537 Forty-five minutes and three animal positions later, 174 00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:10,245 Samantha and Siddhartha were sipping green tea at a nearby health food restaurant, 175 00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:11,883 Tofu or Not Tofu. 176 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:14,999 I always feel so amazing after yoga. 177 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,417 My body feels so open. 178 00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:20,250 So alive. So ready for anything. 179 00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,042 Samantha. 180 00:08:22,583 --> 00:08:23,753 Yes. 181 00:08:23,834 --> 00:08:25,214 I'm celibate. 182 00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:29,080 I practice Brahmacarya, tantric celibacy. 183 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,332 I gave up sex three years ago. 184 00:08:31,417 --> 00:08:32,957 My God, why? 185 00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:36,078 Or more importantly, why? 186 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:37,877 Didn't you like it? 187 00:08:37,959 --> 00:08:39,129 Oh, I loved it. 188 00:08:39,417 --> 00:08:40,997 I'd have sex morning, noon, and night, 189 00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:43,543 sometimes three women a day and I was always ready for more. 190 00:08:43,625 --> 00:08:45,415 Well, now you're just being cruel. 191 00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:46,580 No. 192 00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:48,127 It was all ego. 193 00:08:48,375 --> 00:08:51,455 And where I am now is so much better than sex. 194 00:08:51,542 --> 00:08:54,832 Oh, come on, honey, nothing's better than sex. 195 00:08:54,917 --> 00:08:56,997 Think about really good foreplay. 196 00:08:57,417 --> 00:09:00,667 Your sexual energy's just starting to awaken. 197 00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:03,460 Now, imagine a three-year foreplay 198 00:09:03,959 --> 00:09:08,289 where all that sexual energy is coursing through your body, 199 00:09:08,375 --> 00:09:09,825 but it never gets released. 200 00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,917 It just recycles, 201 00:09:13,417 --> 00:09:14,667 builds, 202 00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:16,000 rises. 203 00:09:16,792 --> 00:09:17,962 Until your entire being 204 00:09:18,041 --> 00:09:22,381 is humming with that electric sexual energy. 205 00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:25,038 My apartment's just around the corner. 206 00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:29,375 The only thing hotter than sex is not having sex. 207 00:09:29,458 --> 00:09:30,958 Amazingly, 208 00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:33,041 talking dirty about not having sex 209 00:09:33,125 --> 00:09:35,205 was the most sexually deviant act 210 00:09:35,291 --> 00:09:37,671 Samantha had participated in for months. 211 00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:39,580 The next night, when I met Charlotte for dinner. 212 00:09:39,667 --> 00:09:41,997 I had reached my own transcendental state, 213 00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:44,293 pure Mr. Big obsession. 214 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,959 Okay, um, the first time he was tired. 215 00:09:48,041 --> 00:09:51,671 And the next two times, I... 216 00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:55,213 I don't know. 217 00:09:55,667 --> 00:09:57,457 -It's bad, isn't it? -Carrie, relax. 218 00:09:57,542 --> 00:09:59,582 There's nothing wrong with your relationship. 219 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,787 Well, that's not all, Charlotte. I, um... 220 00:10:02,125 --> 00:10:03,415 What? 221 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,960 I couldn't bring myself to tell her. 222 00:10:06,041 --> 00:10:08,001 I was afraid she'd go spontaneously deaf. 223 00:10:08,083 --> 00:10:08,923 I'm sorry. 224 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,460 Um, what, what were you saying? 225 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,000 People put too much emphasis on the importance of sex. 226 00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:16,793 It's not the most important thing in a relationship. 227 00:10:16,875 --> 00:10:17,745 Right. 228 00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:19,334 Take Kevin and I, for example. 229 00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:22,037 We've been going out for weeks and we still haven't done it. 230 00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:23,165 I mean, 231 00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:25,130 we touch and cuddle, 232 00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:29,497 but he's sweet, and he respects my boundaries, and I like it. 233 00:10:29,583 --> 00:10:32,633 It makes it special. Oh, there he is. 234 00:10:32,709 --> 00:10:34,879 Meeting a friend's new boyfriend for the first time 235 00:10:34,959 --> 00:10:36,499 is always a little tense. 236 00:10:36,583 --> 00:10:38,633 What if you don't like him? What if he doesn't like you? 237 00:10:38,709 --> 00:10:40,829 Kevin, this is my good friend, Carrie. 238 00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:42,963 -Hey, Carrie. -Hi. 239 00:10:43,041 --> 00:10:45,041 What if you've already slept with him? 240 00:10:45,709 --> 00:10:47,379 You two know each other. 241 00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:49,333 Well, kind of. 242 00:10:49,417 --> 00:10:50,827 We used to go out. 243 00:10:51,667 --> 00:10:53,827 Well, kind of used to go out. 244 00:10:53,917 --> 00:10:56,497 -You two used to go out. 245 00:10:56,583 --> 00:10:57,583 That's so funny. 246 00:10:57,667 --> 00:10:59,127 Isn't that funny? 247 00:10:59,208 --> 00:11:01,128 That's my office. I gotta take this. 248 00:11:01,208 --> 00:11:02,538 I'll be right back. 249 00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:07,248 Okay, when? 250 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,884 Um, three years ago. 251 00:11:09,959 --> 00:11:11,579 Three years, I can live with that. 252 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:13,330 Serious? 253 00:11:13,417 --> 00:11:14,827 -No. -Good. 254 00:11:14,917 --> 00:11:16,247 Why'd you break up? 255 00:11:16,792 --> 00:11:19,042 You know, we were in different places and I just-- 256 00:11:19,125 --> 00:11:22,375 Carrie, we don't have time for diplomacy, just tell me. 257 00:11:22,583 --> 00:11:24,253 He's a sex maniac. 258 00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:33,457 When Charlotte discovered that Kevin had tucked his libido away 259 00:11:33,542 --> 00:11:34,962 for her comfort level, 260 00:11:35,041 --> 00:11:37,461 she was even more moved by his restraint. 261 00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:41,040 I want you to know how much I appreciate your patience. 262 00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:42,290 Hmm? 263 00:11:42,375 --> 00:11:44,245 Well, you've been so patient with me. 264 00:11:44,458 --> 00:11:46,578 It shows how much you really care. 265 00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:48,496 And all that waiting 266 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,960 is gonna make it all the more special for us now. 267 00:11:52,458 --> 00:11:53,498 Oh. 268 00:11:57,917 --> 00:12:00,957 There's only gonna be one stop. Thanks. 269 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,250 I don't think this is gonna work. 270 00:12:18,792 --> 00:12:19,832 Why? Is it me? 271 00:12:19,917 --> 00:12:21,167 No, you're great. 272 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:23,460 I'm just not that sexual a guy. 273 00:12:25,125 --> 00:12:27,455 It's me. I know it's me. 274 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,540 Look, Carrie told me that you were quite sexual. 275 00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:35,285 In fact, I believe she used the word "maniac." 276 00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:36,705 That was before. 277 00:12:38,542 --> 00:12:39,632 Before what? 278 00:12:39,709 --> 00:12:40,629 Prozac. 279 00:12:40,709 --> 00:12:41,749 Prozac? 280 00:12:41,834 --> 00:12:44,084 Yeah. I used to be such a mess. 281 00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:45,326 Mr. Mood Swing. 282 00:12:45,792 --> 00:12:47,252 It's a total lifesaver. 283 00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:50,253 The only downside is is it takes the air out of my tires. 284 00:12:50,333 --> 00:12:53,633 After a while, it's kind of like a taffy pull. 285 00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:56,165 That's okay. 286 00:12:56,792 --> 00:12:57,832 Don't worry about it. 287 00:12:58,583 --> 00:12:59,673 I don't. 288 00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:00,960 I mean, I wish I could say I felt worse. 289 00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,501 But to tell you the truth, 290 00:13:02,583 --> 00:13:05,213 these days, nothing gets me down. 291 00:13:05,667 --> 00:13:06,997 Do you want to watch a movie? 292 00:13:11,709 --> 00:13:13,669 Terrified of going to Mr. Big's 293 00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:16,290 for what could become another platonic sleepover, 294 00:13:16,375 --> 00:13:20,245 I paced my apartment and tried not to think about our lack of sex when... 295 00:13:22,208 --> 00:13:24,288 there they were, my new neighbors, 296 00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:26,745 Mr. and Mrs. Get It On. 297 00:13:26,834 --> 00:13:28,544 A couple so obviously into each other 298 00:13:28,625 --> 00:13:30,535 there was only one thing to do, 299 00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:32,381 watch. 300 00:13:36,667 --> 00:13:38,747 Then something wonderful happened. 301 00:13:38,834 --> 00:13:41,174 My desire overcame my fear. 302 00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:42,880 Hi, it's me. Um... 303 00:13:42,959 --> 00:13:44,829 is it okay if I come over? 304 00:13:45,375 --> 00:13:47,285 Okay. 305 00:13:47,375 --> 00:13:49,955 Meanwhile, across town at the corner of "Nirvana and West Third," 306 00:13:50,041 --> 00:13:53,631 Siddhartha was helping Samantha along her newfound path. 307 00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:56,459 Blocks are a connection to our inner life 308 00:13:56,709 --> 00:13:58,249 and true identities. 309 00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:00,380 You're hard. 310 00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:01,578 I know. 311 00:14:01,834 --> 00:14:03,674 Our addictions and attachments 312 00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:06,130 are a way to block our spiritual hunger 313 00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:08,998 through unhealthy and dependent ways. 314 00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:10,423 You're still hard. 315 00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:11,670 It will go down. 316 00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,080 So can I. 317 00:14:21,917 --> 00:14:25,417 I showed up at his apartment feeling sexy and confident, 318 00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:28,630 wearing my secret weapon skirt that really hugged my hips. 319 00:14:28,709 --> 00:14:29,669 I was ret to go. 320 00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:31,130 He didn't have a prayer. 321 00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:36,583 Very nice. 322 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,464 Come on in. I'm watching the fight. 323 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,960 Baby. You... 324 00:14:56,291 --> 00:14:59,041 Carrie. Come on, come on. 325 00:14:59,125 --> 00:15:00,325 Let me watch this. 326 00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:05,960 Oh, man! 327 00:15:09,625 --> 00:15:11,205 Jesus, Carrie, come on! 328 00:15:11,291 --> 00:15:12,331 Would you knock it the fuck off. 329 00:15:12,417 --> 00:15:14,037 I'm trying to watch this fight. 330 00:15:14,125 --> 00:15:15,625 -Just-- -Fine, I'll leave. 331 00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:17,375 What-- What is wrong with you? 332 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,958 -Why are you acting so nuts? -Well, maybe I'm not perfect. 333 00:15:20,041 --> 00:15:22,831 Maybe I don't fit into your perfect, you know, life, 334 00:15:22,917 --> 00:15:25,747 with your perfect apartment, and your perfect pay-per-view fight. 335 00:15:25,834 --> 00:15:27,334 Maybe I should leave. 336 00:15:30,041 --> 00:15:32,251 I stood there and waited for the obligatory, 337 00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:34,633 he's coming to stop me ten seconds. 338 00:15:35,166 --> 00:15:36,626 He didn't. 339 00:15:36,709 --> 00:15:38,419 By the time I got home 340 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,210 I was sure he'd left an apology on my voicemail. 341 00:15:40,291 --> 00:15:43,581 [beeping, recording] You have no new messages in your mailbox. 342 00:15:43,667 --> 00:15:46,327 I didn't sleep very well that night. 343 00:15:46,417 --> 00:15:48,627 But I wasn't the only one. 344 00:15:48,709 --> 00:15:52,079 After a night of spiritual reading with her hunky guru, 345 00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:53,746 Samantha began to feel things 346 00:15:53,834 --> 00:15:56,254 she hadn't felt in a very long time, 347 00:15:56,333 --> 00:15:57,923 frustrated and horny. 348 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,540 She decided it was time to put an end to her suffering. 349 00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:01,955 But just as she reached the place 350 00:16:02,041 --> 00:16:04,421 Krishna once called "the gateway to life," 351 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:07,460 she turned back and decided not to enter. 352 00:16:07,542 --> 00:16:09,382 After all, she'd come this far. 353 00:16:09,458 --> 00:16:10,958 She could continue not to cum at all. 354 00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:15,285 In an effort to get her mind off sex, 355 00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:18,285 Miranda had rented a five-hour Danish documentary 356 00:16:18,375 --> 00:16:20,075 on the Nuremberg trial. 357 00:16:20,166 --> 00:16:21,326 It actually worked until... 358 00:16:21,417 --> 00:16:22,627 Hey, gorgeous. 359 00:16:22,709 --> 00:16:25,129 Why don't you quick drop this, huh? 360 00:16:25,208 --> 00:16:27,498 Hey, she's thinking about it. 361 00:16:27,583 --> 00:16:29,793 Where you going so fast? 362 00:16:29,875 --> 00:16:31,205 I got what you want. 363 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,040 I got what you need! 364 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,375 Like every woman 365 00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:36,458 consumed with a relationship problem, 366 00:16:36,542 --> 00:16:39,292 I needed a project to keep my mind from obsessing 367 00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:41,285 and my hands from dialing his number. 368 00:16:45,834 --> 00:16:48,134 Three months and one week. 369 00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:50,918 Miranda needed to keep her hands busy as well. 370 00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:52,455 Did he call? 371 00:16:52,542 --> 00:16:53,752 Nope. 372 00:16:54,125 --> 00:16:55,915 And it's been two days. 373 00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,290 Nice color. 374 00:16:58,875 --> 00:16:59,955 Ecru? 375 00:17:00,041 --> 00:17:01,381 Egg Shell . 376 00:17:02,959 --> 00:17:05,959 Well, I think it's over. 377 00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:08,503 I should never have farted. 378 00:17:08,583 --> 00:17:10,083 Jesus, Carrie. That's it. 379 00:17:10,166 --> 00:17:11,326 I've heard enough about the fart. 380 00:17:11,417 --> 00:17:12,497 It's not the fucking fart! 381 00:17:12,583 --> 00:17:14,583 I know it's not the fucking fart. 382 00:17:15,375 --> 00:17:16,995 I just, I think I'm in love with him 383 00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:19,133 and I'm terrified that he's gonna leave me 384 00:17:19,208 --> 00:17:20,748 because I'm not perfect. 385 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,580 All right. 386 00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,207 Let's just put the roller down 387 00:17:24,291 --> 00:17:26,711 and go in the other room and talk, huh? 388 00:17:27,083 --> 00:17:29,963 The sex has stopped. He hasn't called. 389 00:17:30,041 --> 00:17:33,211 What if he never calls, and three weeks from now I pick up The New York Times, 390 00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:36,001 and I read that he's married some perfect little woman 391 00:17:36,083 --> 00:17:39,043 who never passes gas under his $500 sheets. 392 00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,915 When did you get so obsessed with being perfect? 393 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,500 I don't know. It's something about him. 394 00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:43,753 I mean, you should see me around him. 395 00:17:43,834 --> 00:17:44,884 I'm not like me. 396 00:17:44,959 --> 00:17:47,459 I'm like "together Carrie." 397 00:17:47,542 --> 00:17:49,172 You know, I wear little outfits. 398 00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:51,880 You know, "sexy Carrie" and "casual Carrie." 399 00:17:51,959 --> 00:17:54,329 Sometimes I catch myself actually posing. 400 00:17:54,417 --> 00:17:55,707 It's just, it's exhausting. 401 00:17:55,792 --> 00:17:56,962 Well, then stop! 402 00:17:57,458 --> 00:17:59,828 Why don't you show him more of this Carrie? She's pretty great. 403 00:17:59,917 --> 00:18:01,457 Yeah? What if he doesn't like her? 404 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,290 Miranda? 405 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,332 Oh, my God! 406 00:18:07,542 --> 00:18:08,922 Look at them. 407 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,290 Oh, wow. 408 00:18:10,375 --> 00:18:12,665 I had no idea they did an afternoon show. 409 00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:14,040 When a show is good, 410 00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:15,375 word gets around. 411 00:18:15,458 --> 00:18:16,538 There we were, 412 00:18:16,625 --> 00:18:19,245 the '90s' version of Matinee Ladies. 413 00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:20,673 Who said the theater was dead? 414 00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:21,920 Samantha, I cannot believe 415 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,420 that you would give this up on purpose. 416 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:25,290 Actually, I hardly miss it. 417 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:26,580 How long has it been? 418 00:18:26,667 --> 00:18:28,037 A hundred years. 419 00:18:28,125 --> 00:18:29,575 It never goes down, does it? 420 00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:31,377 Look, it's still... 421 00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:33,378 -Hard. -Yeah. 422 00:18:33,458 --> 00:18:35,128 Gummy bear, please. 423 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,577 Give me the fucking candy. 424 00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:40,997 Hey, snapping over gummy bears 425 00:18:41,083 --> 00:18:43,003 might be a sign that celibacy's not for you. 426 00:18:43,083 --> 00:18:45,253 All I can say is that my big pay off better be worth it. 427 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,923 Samantha, I don't understand you. 428 00:18:47,208 --> 00:18:49,958 There are people starving out there and you're fasting. 429 00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:52,291 Stop complaining. At least you can take care of yourself. 430 00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:53,995 I'm way beyond that point. 431 00:18:54,083 --> 00:18:56,753 Besides, I think I've given myself carpal tunnel. 432 00:18:56,834 --> 00:18:58,884 Oh, sure. It's all fun until you get to know each other. 433 00:19:01,417 --> 00:19:03,827 Yeah, that move right there? That's what they're famous for. 434 00:19:04,375 --> 00:19:05,875 It's been an hour. 435 00:19:05,959 --> 00:19:07,789 How can that guy still be... 436 00:19:07,875 --> 00:19:09,165 Hard. 437 00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:11,960 I have got to try this again with Kevin. 438 00:19:12,041 --> 00:19:13,381 I mean, we really like each other. 439 00:19:13,458 --> 00:19:15,748 That's got to be stronger than a drug, right? 440 00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:17,543 I'm warning you ladies, 441 00:19:17,709 --> 00:19:21,539 if I make it to four months, I'm humping one of you. 442 00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:25,498 Oh, my God. 443 00:19:26,417 --> 00:19:27,457 I hate them. 444 00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:29,002 After the second show, 445 00:19:29,083 --> 00:19:31,383 each of us went on with our Saturdays. 446 00:19:31,458 --> 00:19:34,378 Miranda went to get a movie and another pound of gummy bears. 447 00:19:34,458 --> 00:19:36,578 Hey, hey! It's my sweetheart. 448 00:19:36,917 --> 00:19:38,167 You're looking good, baby. 449 00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:39,420 Good enough to eat. 450 00:19:39,875 --> 00:19:40,995 Hey, where you going, doll? 451 00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:42,463 I got what you want. 452 00:19:42,709 --> 00:19:44,039 I got what you need. 453 00:19:44,125 --> 00:19:44,995 You talking to me? 454 00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:47,253 Oh, we got a live one boys. 455 00:19:47,667 --> 00:19:48,957 You got what I want? 456 00:19:49,417 --> 00:19:50,457 -You got what I need? -Uh-huh. 457 00:19:50,542 --> 00:19:52,252 Well, what I want is to get laid. 458 00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:53,923 What I need is to get laid. 459 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,540 I need to get laid. 460 00:19:55,625 --> 00:19:57,415 Take it easy, lady. I'm married. 461 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,960 All talk and no action, huh? 462 00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:01,461 What a gavone! 463 00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:04,710 Yeah, she's something else when she's teed off. 464 00:20:04,792 --> 00:20:07,922 Samantha decided to channel her frustration at yoga. 465 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:12,670 Good, now release and breathe. 466 00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:15,289 Unless you're planning to move those hands down, 467 00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:16,875 get them off me. 468 00:20:16,959 --> 00:20:20,039 Exhale, chaturanga dandasana... 469 00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:24,285 She had reached the end of her path and her patience. 470 00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:25,825 Psst. 471 00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:36,214 Want to fuck? 472 00:20:36,291 --> 00:20:37,961 What? 473 00:20:39,291 --> 00:20:40,631 Want to fuck? 474 00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:42,463 Yeah. 475 00:20:46,792 --> 00:20:49,132 Samantha spent the rest of the afternoon 476 00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:52,248 having multiple yogasms. 477 00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:54,923 Later that night, Charlotte was determined to prove 478 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:59,000 she was stronger than selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors. 479 00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:01,003 Isn't your arm getting tired? 480 00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:03,423 No, I think it's starting to work. 481 00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:06,500 Charlotte... it's not. 482 00:21:06,875 --> 00:21:08,665 and I'm beginning to chafe. 483 00:21:09,166 --> 00:21:10,166 Oh. 484 00:21:17,792 --> 00:21:20,002 -You okay? -Yeah. 485 00:21:20,083 --> 00:21:23,333 I've just never been in this situation before. 486 00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:25,880 Do you think you'll ever... 487 00:21:28,125 --> 00:21:28,995 Never mind. 488 00:21:29,083 --> 00:21:31,043 What, think I'll ever go off it? 489 00:21:31,125 --> 00:21:31,955 Yeah. 490 00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,041 Nope. 491 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,875 Not even for me? 492 00:21:35,959 --> 00:21:36,879 Nope. 493 00:21:37,792 --> 00:21:41,292 Oh, come on. Wouldn't you rather be with a guy who's kind and giving 494 00:21:41,375 --> 00:21:43,285 and not that interested in sex, 495 00:21:43,542 --> 00:21:45,292 than an unstable, oversexed, prick, 496 00:21:45,375 --> 00:21:46,995 who only wants to get laid? 497 00:21:51,625 --> 00:21:52,875 Nope. 498 00:21:52,959 --> 00:21:54,789 Once Charlotte realized she couldn't get 499 00:21:54,875 --> 00:21:56,245 what she thought she didn't want, 500 00:21:56,333 --> 00:21:58,753 she couldn't imagine going on without it. 501 00:22:00,291 --> 00:22:03,881 Saturday night's dinner came and went with no call from Big. 502 00:22:03,959 --> 00:22:05,749 My life was suddenly shit, 503 00:22:05,834 --> 00:22:07,634 but my cabinets were looking fabulous. 504 00:22:10,542 --> 00:22:11,752 Who is it? 505 00:22:11,834 --> 00:22:12,884 Me. 506 00:22:18,875 --> 00:22:20,035 Surprise. 507 00:22:20,625 --> 00:22:21,745 Yeah. 508 00:22:26,625 --> 00:22:27,875 Wow. 509 00:22:31,667 --> 00:22:32,917 What's all this? 510 00:22:33,667 --> 00:22:34,667 I'm painting. 511 00:22:34,750 --> 00:22:35,960 I can see that. 512 00:22:37,083 --> 00:22:41,583 Why didn't you call? 513 00:22:45,959 --> 00:22:48,039 So this is where you live. 514 00:22:51,041 --> 00:22:53,081 About time you invited me up. 515 00:22:53,375 --> 00:22:54,745 I didn't invite you. 516 00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:56,582 I know. 517 00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:06,077 It's nice. 518 00:23:06,750 --> 00:23:07,790 Very nice. 519 00:23:07,875 --> 00:23:09,415 No, it's not. It's a mess. 520 00:23:10,583 --> 00:23:13,293 The floors need to be stripped and the curtains are... 521 00:23:13,667 --> 00:23:14,667 It's... 522 00:23:15,041 --> 00:23:16,791 I want to change a lot of it. 523 00:23:18,291 --> 00:23:19,581 I don't know. 524 00:23:21,542 --> 00:23:22,502 I like it. 525 00:23:29,291 --> 00:23:30,831 I like it the way it is. 526 00:23:32,709 --> 00:23:34,669 What was that all about the other night? 527 00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:36,750 That was me. 528 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,167 Having a meltdown. 529 00:23:39,458 --> 00:23:40,828 Okay. 530 00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:50,130 Nice paint. 531 00:23:51,417 --> 00:23:52,537 Egg Shell? 532 00:23:52,834 --> 00:23:53,714 Yes. 533 00:23:53,792 --> 00:23:55,002 Mm-hmm. 534 00:24:00,583 --> 00:24:01,923 Did you know that there's a couple 535 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,830 humping outside of your window? 536 00:24:04,917 --> 00:24:06,037 Really? 537 00:24:06,333 --> 00:24:07,883 Oh, I never noticed. 538 00:24:08,542 --> 00:24:10,212 All I could think was... 539 00:24:10,291 --> 00:24:12,251 "Why aren't we having sex?" 540 00:24:12,333 --> 00:24:13,673 "Is this normal?" 541 00:24:14,208 --> 00:24:15,208 "What's wrong?" 542 00:24:15,291 --> 00:24:16,291 "Where are we going?" 543 00:24:16,375 --> 00:24:17,875 Oh, hell... 544 00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:21,380 we can do better than that. 545 00:24:25,834 --> 00:24:28,214 And then he kissed me. 546 00:24:29,917 --> 00:24:34,417 Odd how normal can sometimes feel so uncomfortable.