1
00:00:57,375 --> 00:00:59,165
Let's be honest.
2
00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:01,290
Sometimes there is
nothing harder in life
3
00:01:01,375 --> 00:01:03,745
than being happy
for somebody else.
4
00:01:03,834 --> 00:01:05,334
Like lottery winners
5
00:01:05,417 --> 00:01:09,787
or extremely successful
people who are twenty-seven.
6
00:01:09,875 --> 00:01:12,415
And then there's
that hell on earth
7
00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:15,750
that only your closest
friends can inflict on you.
8
00:01:16,792 --> 00:01:19,172
The baby shower.
9
00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:20,460
You could not drag
me to that thing
10
00:01:20,542 --> 00:01:22,792
if you put a grappling
hook in my mouth.
11
00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:24,325
Frankly, I think it's sad.
12
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:27,247
The way she's using a child
to validate her existence.
13
00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:28,133
Exactly.
14
00:01:28,208 --> 00:01:29,418
Why can't she just use sex
15
00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:31,040
and a nice cocktail
like the rest of us?
16
00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:33,415
I'm happy for her.
I am.
17
00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:34,920
If I see another
crepe paper stork,
18
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,250
I'm gonna rip its
cardboard beak off.
19
00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:38,253
Can I ask you...
20
00:01:38,333 --> 00:01:39,923
would any baby shower bother you
21
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,960
or is this one worse
because it's Laney's?
22
00:01:50,208 --> 00:01:51,578
Laney Berlin.
23
00:01:51,667 --> 00:01:52,997
You can't really describe he.
24
00:01:53,083 --> 00:01:54,253
You just had to know her.
25
00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:59,960
Chances are eight years ago,
you probably did.
26
00:02:00,834 --> 00:02:02,084
So help me.
27
00:02:02,166 --> 00:02:03,626
She fucks on my couch,
28
00:02:03,709 --> 00:02:04,749
she buys it.
29
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:07,131
Isn't that how you
got the couch from me?
30
00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:09,288
Hey, Laney,
show us your tits!
31
00:02:09,375 --> 00:02:10,455
Oh, give it a rest.
32
00:02:10,542 --> 00:02:12,882
You guys have seen enough
of my tits.
33
00:02:17,875 --> 00:02:20,415
Laney did A&R
for a record label,
34
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:23,630
or as she used to call it,
sex with an expense account.
35
00:02:23,709 --> 00:02:25,579
Every time she went
on a scouting trip,
36
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,287
she came back with
some hot new group
37
00:02:27,375 --> 00:02:30,785
and a gynecological condition
no one had ever heard of.
38
00:02:30,875 --> 00:02:33,375
Those things make so
many public appearances,
39
00:02:33,458 --> 00:02:35,378
they need a booking agent.
40
00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:40,582
Look at her.
41
00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:42,627
The poster girl
for low self-esteem.
42
00:02:42,709 --> 00:02:45,789
You know, I have low self-esteem
but I express it the healthy way
43
00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:47,745
by eating a box of
Double Stuf Oreos.
44
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,634
She's so sad.
45
00:02:51,709 --> 00:02:53,329
Take it off!
46
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:58,380
Samantha and Laney had
a long standing rivalry.
47
00:02:58,458 --> 00:03:00,628
Both wild, both sexy.
48
00:03:00,709 --> 00:03:03,579
Both incredibly insecure.
49
00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:07,627
Two years ago, Laney did
the most shocking thing of all.
50
00:03:07,709 --> 00:03:10,249
She met a Wall Street
investment banker,
51
00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:12,543
married him and
moved to Connecticut.
52
00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:14,245
That wasn't supposed to happen.
53
00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:16,173
She was supposed to
have sex with Sid Vicious
54
00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:17,790
and move to heroin.
55
00:03:20,375 --> 00:03:21,955
Come on, you guys,
it'll be fun.
56
00:03:22,041 --> 00:03:24,501
We've never even been to
visit her in Connecticut.
57
00:03:24,583 --> 00:03:25,833
Exactly.
There's a reason for that.
58
00:03:25,917 --> 00:03:27,827
-Lyme disease?
-That's another good one.
59
00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:29,627
But it's a baby shower.
60
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:30,879
No, it's a cult.
61
00:03:30,959 --> 00:03:32,629
It's a cult?
What are you talking about?
62
00:03:32,709 --> 00:03:33,789
Listen to me.
63
00:03:33,875 --> 00:03:36,125
They all think the same,
dress the same
64
00:03:36,208 --> 00:03:38,458
and sacrifice themselves
65
00:03:38,542 --> 00:03:39,462
babies.
66
00:03:39,542 --> 00:03:40,752
She's insane.
67
00:03:40,834 --> 00:03:43,544
Hey, I've lost two
sisters to the motherhood.
68
00:03:43,625 --> 00:03:45,125
I know what I'm talking about.
69
00:03:45,208 --> 00:03:47,708
I think we should go,
it's the right thing to do.
70
00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,382
Give me one good reason.
71
00:03:49,458 --> 00:03:50,668
Okay,
72
00:03:50,750 --> 00:03:52,710
you're driving down
the road, you see a sign,
73
00:03:52,792 --> 00:03:54,382
it says, "Two-headed snake."
74
00:03:54,458 --> 00:03:55,708
You pull over.
75
00:03:55,792 --> 00:03:58,832
Wild Laney is having a
baby shower, you pull over.
76
00:03:58,917 --> 00:04:01,667
She's got a point.
It's the right thing to do.
77
00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:05,380
Just imagine how
fat she must be.
78
00:04:05,458 --> 00:04:07,378
As I penciled in
the date,
79
00:04:07,458 --> 00:04:10,168
I noticed something missing.
80
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,460
In between the Versace
show and dinner at Moomba,
81
00:04:13,542 --> 00:04:15,422
there it wasn't.
82
00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:17,790
My period... four days late.
83
00:04:19,083 --> 00:04:20,003
That Saturday,
84
00:04:20,083 --> 00:04:21,583
also known as seven days late,
85
00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:24,997
four city girls set off
to visit the country mice.
86
00:04:25,083 --> 00:04:27,333
Are we there yet?
87
00:04:29,166 --> 00:04:30,666
I've already had
two of these,
88
00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:32,290
so we're gonna
be stopping a lot.
89
00:04:32,375 --> 00:04:34,495
Hey, nice outfit.
90
00:04:34,583 --> 00:04:36,333
Is there gonna be some
belly dancing at the shower?
91
00:04:36,417 --> 00:04:38,077
Yeah, right after the gifts.
92
00:04:38,166 --> 00:04:40,746
Oh, shit.
I totally spaced.
93
00:04:40,834 --> 00:04:42,464
I forgot to buy her a present.
94
00:04:43,375 --> 00:04:44,955
How tacky is it to
give the mother to be
95
00:04:45,041 --> 00:04:46,171
a fistful of cash?
96
00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:47,710
Oh, don't worry about it.
97
00:04:47,792 --> 00:04:49,292
You can go in on mine.
98
00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:52,325
You bought a pregnant
woman a bottle of scotch?
99
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,957
The invitation said BYOB.
100
00:04:54,041 --> 00:04:56,791
That meant bring your own baby.
101
00:04:56,875 --> 00:04:58,875
-What did you get her?
-Condoms.
102
00:04:58,959 --> 00:05:00,629
Seriously, what'd you get her?
103
00:05:00,709 --> 00:05:01,709
Seriously.
104
00:05:01,792 --> 00:05:03,542
They're pastel.
105
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,920
-Oh.
Hey, guys!
Wait, wait!
106
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,330
Hey, guys, wait for me!
107
00:05:08,417 --> 00:05:09,957
-Oh, my God.
Wait!
108
00:05:10,041 --> 00:05:11,711
Look at the size
of that thing.
109
00:05:11,792 --> 00:05:13,082
We can drive that
to Connecticut.
110
00:05:13,166 --> 00:05:14,956
I'm putting my
name on that card.
111
00:05:15,041 --> 00:05:16,001
All right.
112
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,083
Go, go, go, go, go.
113
00:05:23,125 --> 00:05:25,205
Does anybody know how to drive?
114
00:05:30,458 --> 00:05:33,418
As I turned
the mid-size coupe on to
Holly Hock lane,
115
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,460
I was struck by how a
place so filled with nature
116
00:05:36,542 --> 00:05:38,922
could look so unnatural.
117
00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:49,330
Oh, Toto.
118
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,917
I don't think we're in
Manhattan anymore.
119
00:05:52,834 --> 00:05:55,334
Oh, her house
is beautiful.
120
00:05:55,417 --> 00:05:58,077
Oh, and look at her dog.
121
00:05:58,166 --> 00:05:59,416
Hey, boy.
122
00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:01,170
Hey, boy, come here, boy.
123
00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:02,290
Come here, boy.
124
00:06:08,041 --> 00:06:09,331
Why didn't he come?
125
00:06:09,417 --> 00:06:11,207
Invisible electric fencing.
126
00:06:11,291 --> 00:06:12,461
It's the latest thing.
127
00:06:12,542 --> 00:06:14,252
My sister has it.
128
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:15,503
Okay.
129
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,173
Ready, girls?
130
00:06:18,125 --> 00:06:19,125
Let's go.
131
00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:27,000
Ooh, Charlotte, sweetie,
don't forget our gift.
132
00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:28,628
Come on.
133
00:06:40,458 --> 00:06:42,498
Oh, look at you, you're huge.
134
00:06:42,583 --> 00:06:43,923
I know, isn't it great?
135
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,040
I can eat anything I want.
Jealous?
136
00:06:46,125 --> 00:06:47,455
-Come on in.
137
00:06:47,542 --> 00:06:49,082
Come in, come in.
138
00:06:50,041 --> 00:06:52,921
Brigid, Roxanne, these are
my friends from the city.
139
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,210
Hi.
-We didn't think you'd make it.
140
00:06:55,291 --> 00:06:56,381
Oh, we got lost.
141
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:57,628
We took the wrong bridge.
142
00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,169
Oh, remember that feeling
like if you left
143
00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:00,920
Manhattan even for a second,
144
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,380
you'd fall off
the edge of the Earth?
145
00:07:02,458 --> 00:07:04,748
Oh, God, don't remind me.
146
00:07:04,834 --> 00:07:05,714
Hi.
147
00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:06,752
Oh, my God.
148
00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:08,964
It's the Bellini baby basket.
149
00:07:09,041 --> 00:07:09,921
Aww!
150
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,130
Oh, look.
151
00:07:11,208 --> 00:07:14,748
Everybody,
it's the Bellini baby basket.
152
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:16,714
Speaking of bellini's,
153
00:07:16,792 --> 00:07:18,672
I'm gonna have a big drink.
154
00:07:19,083 --> 00:07:20,173
Jealous?
155
00:07:22,458 --> 00:07:25,578
Is she still bar hopping
and bed hopping?
156
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:27,417
It's so sad, isn't it?
157
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:29,000
When that's all you have.
158
00:07:29,458 --> 00:07:31,248
Okay, this is Rebecca.
159
00:07:31,333 --> 00:07:32,583
-Hi.
Hi.
160
00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:33,577
Susan.
161
00:07:33,667 --> 00:07:34,627
-Hello.
-Hello.
162
00:07:34,709 --> 00:07:35,579
Mindy.
-Hey.
163
00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:36,707
Don't get up, sweetheart.
164
00:07:36,792 --> 00:07:38,132
She's doing this in vitro thing.
165
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,708
She's not supposed
to move at all.
166
00:07:41,458 --> 00:07:43,288
And that's Betsy
and her boy, Harry.
167
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:45,665
They're inseparable.
They do everything together.
168
00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:47,380
We call them our
old married couple.
169
00:07:47,458 --> 00:07:49,038
Except it's not
really that funny
170
00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:51,535
now that Betsy and her
husband are getting divorced.
171
00:07:51,625 --> 00:07:53,535
Laney,
we need you.
172
00:07:54,834 --> 00:07:57,714
So, all I have to do
to meet the ideal man is...
173
00:07:58,083 --> 00:07:59,543
give birth to him.
174
00:08:00,041 --> 00:08:01,541
I love my son.
175
00:08:01,625 --> 00:08:02,875
Andy's eleven months old.
176
00:08:02,959 --> 00:08:06,209
He is a God and
I tell him so every day.
177
00:08:08,917 --> 00:08:10,287
Thirty years from now,
178
00:08:10,375 --> 00:08:12,325
what do you think the
chances are that some woman's
179
00:08:12,417 --> 00:08:14,787
gonna be able
to make Andy happy?
180
00:08:14,875 --> 00:08:16,495
I'm gonna go with zero.
181
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:23,131
Oh, it's adorable.
182
00:08:23,208 --> 00:08:24,748
Look at that Charlotte.
183
00:08:24,834 --> 00:08:27,004
Oh, I wish they made
this in my size.
184
00:08:27,917 --> 00:08:29,207
I told you, it's a cult.
185
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:30,631
We can't separate.
186
00:08:30,709 --> 00:08:33,209
Once they isolate you
from the herd, it's all over.
187
00:08:33,291 --> 00:08:36,291
As I watched Laney tear
open a terry cloth baby bib
188
00:08:36,375 --> 00:08:38,785
with the same enthusiasm she
once reserved for tearing off
189
00:08:38,875 --> 00:08:42,205
rock stars' pants,
I couldn't help but wonder...
190
00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:45,000
was I next?
191
00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:49,250
You know what, I have to pee.
192
00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:52,923
If you're not back in five
minutes, I'm coming after you.
193
00:08:56,417 --> 00:08:59,247
The truth is I needed
to escape.
194
00:08:59,333 --> 00:09:01,833
The party had
turned into a preview,
195
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:05,457
a preview of a life I didn't
know if I was ready for.
196
00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:13,328
Even seven months pregnant,
197
00:09:13,417 --> 00:09:15,577
Laney couldn't keep
her clothes on.
198
00:09:15,667 --> 00:09:18,957
Clearly a part of the
old Laney had survived.
199
00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:21,291
But I wondered,
what was still buried
200
00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:23,665
deep inside
the mommies downstairs?
201
00:09:23,959 --> 00:09:27,709
Before I married my husband,
I slept around with everybody.
202
00:09:27,792 --> 00:09:30,292
Now I have an internet lover.
203
00:09:30,625 --> 00:09:32,625
-No one knows.
204
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,670
When I was
senior vice president,
205
00:09:35,750 --> 00:09:38,750
212 people reported
to me on a daily basis.
206
00:09:38,834 --> 00:09:40,964
Now I just yell
at the gardener...
207
00:09:41,041 --> 00:09:43,461
who doesn't understand
a single word.
208
00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:46,632
I'm exactly the same.
209
00:09:46,709 --> 00:09:48,169
I love my life.
210
00:09:48,250 --> 00:09:51,710
But every now and then
I can't help but think about...
211
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:53,834
Lisa.
212
00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:57,670
Sometimes I climb up
into the kids' tree house
213
00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,630
with my walkman,
214
00:09:59,709 --> 00:10:03,709
light up a joint
and listen to Peter Frampton.
215
00:10:18,917 --> 00:10:21,207
There's a woman in there
breastfeeding a child
216
00:10:21,291 --> 00:10:22,581
who can chew steak.
217
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,710
You know how I feel about that?
218
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:28,502
If you can ask for it, you're
probably too old to have it.
219
00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:30,745
Jeremy, no!
220
00:10:31,792 --> 00:10:33,292
I just realized,
221
00:10:33,375 --> 00:10:36,165
maybe it's maturity or the
wisdom that comes with age,
222
00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:39,210
but the witch
in Hansel and Gretel ,
223
00:10:39,291 --> 00:10:41,131
she's very misunderstood.
224
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,788
I mean, the woman builds
her dream house
225
00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:47,665
and these brats come along
and start eating it.
226
00:10:50,792 --> 00:10:53,212
I just have to tell you
your home is beautiful.
227
00:10:53,291 --> 00:10:54,251
Thank you.
228
00:10:54,625 --> 00:10:56,455
I know it's
a big change.
229
00:10:56,542 --> 00:10:59,882
But at some point you have to
get serious and settle down.
230
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:02,419
I mean, life is not a
Jacqueline Susann novel.
231
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:06,000
Four friends looking for
life and love in the big city.
232
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:07,173
No.
233
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:09,879
Stop it.
234
00:11:09,959 --> 00:11:12,169
You are not gonna clean
up at your own shower.
235
00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:15,750
Yeah, relax, 'cause once little
Todd or Shayla comes around,
236
00:11:15,834 --> 00:11:17,464
you'll never stop cleaning up.
237
00:11:17,542 --> 00:11:18,922
Shayla? Did you say Shayla?
238
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,080
It's so unique, isn't it?
239
00:11:21,166 --> 00:11:22,456
It's so my name.
240
00:11:22,959 --> 00:11:24,959
I thought your name
was Charlotte.
241
00:11:25,041 --> 00:11:26,211
No, it's not my name.
242
00:11:26,291 --> 00:11:27,501
It's my name.
243
00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:29,673
My secret baby name
that I made up when I was
244
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:32,210
eleven years old for my
daughter when I had her.
245
00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:33,331
I told you.
246
00:11:33,417 --> 00:11:35,167
Don't tell me you
don't remember.
247
00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:37,540
No, I'm sorry.
I-- I really don't.
248
00:11:37,625 --> 00:11:38,995
A complete lie.
249
00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:40,293
She remembered.
250
00:11:40,375 --> 00:11:41,625
We all remembered.
251
00:11:41,709 --> 00:11:44,329
Charlotte had made us all swear
never to use it.
252
00:11:44,417 --> 00:11:46,327
Anyway, I think my husband
heard it somewhere else.
253
00:11:46,417 --> 00:11:48,997
Really, where?
Because I didn't tell him.
254
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,963
I can't believe you're
freaking out over a name.
255
00:11:52,041 --> 00:11:54,081
I mean,
you're not even pregnant.
256
00:11:54,166 --> 00:11:55,456
That's not
the point!
257
00:11:55,542 --> 00:11:57,172
What's going on?
258
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,130
She stole my baby name.
259
00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:01,253
-You bitch!
260
00:12:01,709 --> 00:12:03,129
Let's go.
261
00:12:09,291 --> 00:12:12,211
Beers and bar nuts at
Flanagan's off route five
262
00:12:12,291 --> 00:12:15,961
were the perfect antidote to
Laney's house of humiliation.
263
00:12:16,041 --> 00:12:18,711
If I hadn't waited this long
to have a baby,
264
00:12:18,792 --> 00:12:20,292
that name would be mine.
265
00:12:20,375 --> 00:12:22,375
Oh, Charlotte, come on.
You're still young.
266
00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:24,708
You have plenty of
time to have children.
267
00:12:24,792 --> 00:12:26,132
No, no I don't.
268
00:12:26,208 --> 00:12:29,288
I don't want to be one of
those forty-year-old moms.
269
00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:31,082
No, no offense.
270
00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:33,416
Well, I don't want to be
one of them either.
271
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:36,170
There are no frozen
eggs in my freezer.
272
00:12:36,959 --> 00:12:38,539
Was the bathroom clean?
273
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:40,375
What do you think?
274
00:12:40,458 --> 00:12:43,578
This is why I hate baby showers.
275
00:12:43,667 --> 00:12:45,417
Always leave
feeling depressed.
276
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:47,540
Patty, another round.
277
00:12:47,625 --> 00:12:50,915
Well, I for one love my life
and I will not be
278
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,080
made to feel inadequate
by all this baby talk.
279
00:12:54,166 --> 00:12:56,666
I spoke to a woman
with a master's in finance.
280
00:12:56,750 --> 00:13:00,130
-All she wanted to talk
about was her Diaper Genie.
281
00:13:00,208 --> 00:13:02,168
Oh, come on, you guys,
it doesn't have to be like that.
282
00:13:02,250 --> 00:13:04,080
You don't have to lose
yourself to have a kid.
283
00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:08,666
I know plenty of cool,
hip mothers who live in the city
284
00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:11,880
and who still have
great careers and stuff.
285
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,419
-Who?
-Who?
286
00:13:14,709 --> 00:13:16,459
I'm late.
I missed my period.
287
00:13:16,542 --> 00:13:19,332
Patty, honey,
where are those beers?
288
00:13:19,709 --> 00:13:20,829
How late?
289
00:13:20,917 --> 00:13:24,457
I don't know, just a few...
seven days.
290
00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:26,922
Oh, honey, gray area.
291
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,130
True, you're in front
of the firing squad,
292
00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:31,498
but you haven't been shot.
293
00:13:31,583 --> 00:13:33,463
I was once ten days late.
294
00:13:33,542 --> 00:13:34,462
Really?
295
00:13:34,542 --> 00:13:36,172
Were you having sex?
296
00:13:36,959 --> 00:13:38,039
No.
297
00:13:39,375 --> 00:13:41,455
-What are you gonna do?
298
00:13:41,542 --> 00:13:42,832
You gonna tell Mr. Big?
299
00:13:42,917 --> 00:13:45,787
No, I am not gonna tell him
until I know what I...
300
00:13:45,875 --> 00:13:48,705
Until I know how I...
What--
301
00:13:49,875 --> 00:13:53,625
No, I'm,
I am not going to tell him
302
00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:56,539
until I know how to
finish the sentence.
303
00:13:58,792 --> 00:13:59,832
What did I miss?
304
00:13:59,917 --> 00:14:01,417
Nothing.
305
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:06,875
That night,
Charlotte got out her wish box
where she kept
306
00:14:06,959 --> 00:14:10,249
reminders of all the
things she hoped for in life.
307
00:14:10,959 --> 00:14:12,579
A gift for Shayla.
308
00:14:15,291 --> 00:14:17,171
A townhouse in the city.
309
00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:19,540
A beach house in East Hampton.
310
00:14:23,458 --> 00:14:24,708
Her dream man.
311
00:14:28,792 --> 00:14:30,422
Her back-up dream man.
312
00:14:32,625 --> 00:14:34,825
It's very strange
when the life you never had
313
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:37,127
flashes before your eyes.
314
00:14:38,041 --> 00:14:40,421
Carrie held hostage, day eight.
315
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:42,330
Miranda and I went shopping.
316
00:14:42,417 --> 00:14:44,707
I'm on total ovary overload.
317
00:14:44,792 --> 00:14:46,212
Which kind do I get?
318
00:14:46,291 --> 00:14:49,081
Here, this one's on sale.
Half off.
319
00:14:49,166 --> 00:14:51,376
Sweetie, I just spent three
hundred and ninety-five dollars
320
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,418
on a pair of open
toed Gucci's last week.
321
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:56,130
-This is not the
place to be frugal.
-All right.
322
00:14:56,208 --> 00:14:57,538
Well, what about this one?
323
00:14:57,625 --> 00:14:59,455
Oh, First Response.
I remember First Response.
324
00:14:59,542 --> 00:15:01,882
I had a very reassuring moment
once with First Response.
325
00:15:01,959 --> 00:15:03,249
Oh.
326
00:15:03,333 --> 00:15:05,633
Here's hoping.
327
00:15:05,709 --> 00:15:09,039
Cosmetics, pick up line two.
Line two, Cosmetics...
328
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,165
What if I am?
329
00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:12,883
If you am, you am.
330
00:15:12,959 --> 00:15:15,919
I don't think I'd be
very good at this.
331
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,540
I mean, am I maternal?
332
00:15:19,291 --> 00:15:21,711
-Um...
-You know, when I was
a little girl,
333
00:15:21,792 --> 00:15:24,502
I left my favorite baby doll
out in the rain for four days.
334
00:15:24,583 --> 00:15:25,753
Her face peeled off.
335
00:15:25,834 --> 00:15:26,714
That can't be good.
336
00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:28,082
Yeah, but, I mean,
if you--
337
00:15:28,166 --> 00:15:30,246
I shaved my Barbie's head
when I was mad at her.
338
00:15:30,333 --> 00:15:32,253
When I was little,
I took a rubber band
339
00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:34,333
and put it around
my dog Pepper's snout.
340
00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:37,464
-What?
-Oh, God.
341
00:15:41,291 --> 00:15:42,751
Can you picture it?
342
00:15:42,834 --> 00:15:43,754
Us with...
343
00:15:43,834 --> 00:15:45,174
Kids?
344
00:15:45,792 --> 00:15:46,922
Babies.
345
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,420
I'll probably
end up with five.
346
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:52,130
Five hours
and two packs of gum later,
347
00:15:52,208 --> 00:15:54,168
I decided I couldn't
take the test
348
00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:57,040
till I knew exactly how
I felt about the results.
349
00:15:57,125 --> 00:15:58,125
Either way...
350
00:16:04,417 --> 00:16:05,417
Hello.
351
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:06,330
It's Laney.
352
00:16:06,417 --> 00:16:08,077
Oh, hi.
353
00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:10,536
I just wanted to tell you
it was so great to see
you guys the other day.
354
00:16:10,625 --> 00:16:11,955
I know I was a big bitch,
355
00:16:12,041 --> 00:16:14,751
but you gotta know my
hormones are going wild.
356
00:16:14,834 --> 00:16:16,714
The truth is Laney's
hormones have been
357
00:16:16,792 --> 00:16:18,502
going wild since
she was ten.
358
00:16:18,583 --> 00:16:22,463
And seeing you made me remember
how much fun we used to have.
359
00:16:22,542 --> 00:16:23,632
Yeah, we did.
360
00:16:23,709 --> 00:16:25,749
It's amazing how
much time has gone by.
361
00:16:25,834 --> 00:16:27,214
Tell me about it.
362
00:16:27,709 --> 00:16:28,789
But I miss us.
363
00:16:28,875 --> 00:16:29,875
I really do.
364
00:16:29,959 --> 00:16:31,959
We should
get together more often.
365
00:16:32,041 --> 00:16:33,331
Mm-hmm.
366
00:16:34,208 --> 00:16:36,538
But, I mean,
we should get together.
367
00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:39,625
Not just say we're going to,
but really do it.
368
00:16:39,709 --> 00:16:40,789
Absolutely.
369
00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,495
Listen, I've got to go.
I'm running late.
370
00:16:42,583 --> 00:16:43,833
Where you off to?
371
00:16:43,917 --> 00:16:45,917
Um, actually Samantha's
having one of her parties.
372
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,790
-She is?
-Yeah.
373
00:16:47,875 --> 00:16:49,125
Oh, man.
374
00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:51,833
See, that's the kind of thing--
I love Samantha's parties.
375
00:16:51,917 --> 00:16:53,037
Why didn't you tell me?
376
00:16:53,125 --> 00:16:55,325
Next time, I promise,
all right?
377
00:16:55,417 --> 00:16:57,037
Okay, bye.
378
00:16:59,375 --> 00:17:01,205
Faced with
her own inadequacy,
379
00:17:01,291 --> 00:17:03,881
Samantha did something
only Samantha could do.
380
00:17:03,959 --> 00:17:06,169
She threw an "I don't
have a baby" shower
381
00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:08,330
to let everyone know
she was fabulous.
382
00:17:08,417 --> 00:17:10,457
Great to see you.
383
00:17:10,542 --> 00:17:12,502
Oh, I don't have a baby!
384
00:17:12,583 --> 00:17:14,213
Everybody drink!
385
00:17:15,583 --> 00:17:16,793
Are you having fun?
386
00:17:16,875 --> 00:17:19,745
Yes, I am, but not quite
as much fun as Miranda.
387
00:17:19,834 --> 00:17:22,884
Still convinced that
marriage plus baby equals death,
388
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,420
Miranda chose life.
389
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:27,380
Also known as Ed,
Samantha's accountant.
390
00:17:27,458 --> 00:17:30,248
If she fucks on that couch,
she buys it.
391
00:17:32,792 --> 00:17:35,132
Ah...
392
00:17:37,041 --> 00:17:38,171
Hey, you guys.
393
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:40,460
The entertainment has arrived.
394
00:17:42,625 --> 00:17:43,875
What are you doing here?
395
00:17:43,959 --> 00:17:44,959
What I do best.
396
00:17:45,041 --> 00:17:46,331
Partying!
397
00:17:46,417 --> 00:17:48,037
Here, maybe we better
sit down.
398
00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:49,535
Fuck no.
Where's the bar?
399
00:17:49,625 --> 00:17:50,955
Somebody get me a drink!
400
00:17:51,041 --> 00:17:52,921
No, I don't know, Laney.
You think that's a good idea?
401
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,380
Fuck yeah, I'm due any day.
402
00:17:54,458 --> 00:17:56,458
What's one little drink
gonna matter?
403
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:59,252
Maybe it will help
me go into labor.
404
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,330
She gives birth on that couch,
she buys it.
405
00:18:03,417 --> 00:18:04,747
What are you doing here?
406
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,084
What is she doing here?
407
00:18:06,166 --> 00:18:07,956
-I missed you guys.
Oh, us, us?
408
00:18:08,041 --> 00:18:09,581
The pathetic,
live for the moment,
409
00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:11,457
New York single girls
who think that life
410
00:18:11,542 --> 00:18:12,962
is a Jacqueline Susann
novel?
411
00:18:13,041 --> 00:18:15,541
Look, I'm sure you get
asked this all the time, but...
412
00:18:15,625 --> 00:18:16,745
what is your problem?
413
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:18,174
My problem?
414
00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:21,250
Just that I had a dream
and you killed it in a nutshell.
415
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:22,963
Really?
Well, then you're lucky.
416
00:18:23,041 --> 00:18:25,211
Because at least you know
what happened to your dream.
417
00:18:25,291 --> 00:18:27,461
I have absolutely no
idea what happened to mine.
418
00:18:29,458 --> 00:18:32,538
I spent the next hour
keeping Charlotte
away from Laney
419
00:18:32,625 --> 00:18:34,415
and Laney away
from the vodka.
420
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:36,420
Well, well, well,
look who came up for air.
421
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:39,830
He's a good kisser and he's
gonna do my taxes for free.
422
00:18:39,917 --> 00:18:41,287
Excuse me. Sorry.
423
00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:42,325
Hey, Carrie.
424
00:18:42,417 --> 00:18:43,827
Hey, Jonathan.
425
00:18:43,917 --> 00:18:45,747
Listen, I've just been talking
to your friend, Charlotte.
426
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:48,884
She's really great.
Is, um, she seeing anybody?
427
00:18:48,959 --> 00:18:49,959
Wide open.
428
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:52,331
Just don't mention
the name "Shayla."
429
00:18:52,417 --> 00:18:53,537
Sorry?
430
00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:54,825
Nothing.
It's a private joke.
431
00:18:54,917 --> 00:18:57,127
Go forth... and date.
432
00:18:57,208 --> 00:18:59,248
His name
was Jonathan Bicks.
433
00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:01,133
He was a trader
at Bear Stearns
434
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:05,248
and had just closed escrow
on a house in the Hamptons.
435
00:19:05,333 --> 00:19:08,583
Charlotte suddenly
realized all was not lost.
436
00:19:08,667 --> 00:19:10,167
As she sipped her beer,
437
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,290
she mentally scotch-taped
her dream house
438
00:19:12,375 --> 00:19:13,705
back together again.
439
00:19:15,834 --> 00:19:18,134
This party sucks.
440
00:19:18,208 --> 00:19:21,458
Laney, maybe we should
think about getting you home,
all right?
441
00:19:21,542 --> 00:19:24,042
No, I don't want to go
back there.
442
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:29,960
Hey, you fuckers!
Who wants to see my tits?
443
00:19:31,375 --> 00:19:32,705
I'll take a look.
444
00:19:32,792 --> 00:19:35,002
Laney, Laney,
come on, come back.
Don't do this.
445
00:19:35,083 --> 00:19:37,133
Relax.
This is gonna be fun.
446
00:19:37,208 --> 00:19:39,998
All right, look.
Now we're gonna have a party.
447
00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:42,923
All right.
Pregnant lady showing her tits!
448
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,250
Whoo!
449
00:19:46,375 --> 00:19:47,705
Oh, my God.
450
00:19:47,792 --> 00:19:49,832
This is at once so sad
451
00:19:49,917 --> 00:19:54,127
and the most fabulous validation
I've ever gotten in my life.
452
00:20:04,125 --> 00:20:05,705
This is weird.
453
00:20:07,125 --> 00:20:08,745
I-- I don't-- I...
454
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,633
I don't think I can do this.
455
00:20:12,792 --> 00:20:14,172
No biggie.
456
00:20:17,291 --> 00:20:20,041
Despite her best
efforts to run free,
457
00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:23,325
it appeared that Laney Berlin's
invisible electric fence
458
00:20:23,417 --> 00:20:25,747
stretched all the
way to Manhattan.
459
00:20:27,375 --> 00:20:28,955
No, no, I know I can do it.
460
00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:30,581
Just-- just give me
one more chance.
461
00:20:30,667 --> 00:20:33,207
Laney, Laney,
it's not who you are anymore.
462
00:20:33,291 --> 00:20:34,791
It's all right.
463
00:20:35,458 --> 00:20:37,878
But I didn't know
that was gonna happen.
464
00:20:37,959 --> 00:20:40,129
No-- nobody told me
that was gonna happen.
465
00:20:40,208 --> 00:20:43,288
I mean,
somebody should warn you.
466
00:20:44,375 --> 00:20:45,995
All right.
467
00:20:47,417 --> 00:20:49,037
One day you're gonna wake up
468
00:20:49,125 --> 00:20:51,825
and you're not gonna
recognize yourself.
469
00:20:59,834 --> 00:21:02,174
Can you take her to Connecticut?
470
00:21:11,375 --> 00:21:14,785
I spent the entire
next day sitting on a park bench
471
00:21:14,875 --> 00:21:16,955
watching children play.
472
00:21:19,542 --> 00:21:22,382
If I had to, could I do this?
473
00:21:24,542 --> 00:21:26,382
Would I be any good?
474
00:21:27,834 --> 00:21:30,674
Would I somehow
manage to stay me?
475
00:21:38,917 --> 00:21:40,707
Hello.
476
00:21:40,792 --> 00:21:43,882
Oh, my.
477
00:21:43,959 --> 00:21:45,709
Oh, sorry.
478
00:21:46,208 --> 00:21:47,538
That's okay.
479
00:21:47,625 --> 00:21:48,785
She's adorable.
480
00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:50,455
Yeah, most of the time.
481
00:21:50,542 --> 00:21:51,962
You want to go home?
Yeah.
482
00:21:52,041 --> 00:21:53,331
Yeah, yeah.
483
00:21:53,417 --> 00:21:55,417
-Bye.
Bye-bye.
484
00:21:56,417 --> 00:21:57,877
Bye.
485
00:22:01,166 --> 00:22:04,996
On the way home,
I got my period.