1
00:00:47,017 --> 00:00:49,997
Two weeks ago,
I had my picture taken.
2
00:00:51,012 --> 00:00:53,022
Look up.
Good, good.
3
00:00:59,010 --> 00:01:01,020
It was a promotional
photo for my column,
4
00:01:01,021 --> 00:01:04,011
scheduled to run
on the side of a bus.
5
00:01:06,006 --> 00:01:08,016
I had misgivings.
6
00:01:10,016 --> 00:01:12,016
Which were somewhat
mollified
7
00:01:12,017 --> 00:01:14,017
when they told me
I could keep the dress.
8
00:01:19,009 --> 00:01:20,019
Friday night.
9
00:01:20,017 --> 00:01:23,017
In lieu of any actual
social life of their own,
10
00:01:23,017 --> 00:01:25,007
Samantha, Miranda,
and Charlotte
11
00:01:25,011 --> 00:01:26,011
had all stopped by
12
00:01:26,014 --> 00:01:29,014
to live vicariously through
my first official date
13
00:01:29,011 --> 00:01:30,011
with Mr. Big.
14
00:01:30,014 --> 00:01:31,024
Carrie!
15
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:36,020
Oh, honey, it's fabulous.
16
00:01:36,021 --> 00:01:38,011
Bravo!
17
00:01:38,011 --> 00:01:40,021
It's tits on toast, baby.
But you make it work.
18
00:01:40,021 --> 00:01:42,011
-Well, let's just say it,
19
00:01:42,009 --> 00:01:43,019
it's the "naked dress."
20
00:01:43,022 --> 00:01:46,012
I mean, you're obviously
gonna have sex with him tonight.
21
00:01:46,009 --> 00:01:47,009
Come on,
it's our first date!
22
00:01:47,015 --> 00:01:48,015
She's not gonna
have sex.
23
00:01:48,018 --> 00:01:49,998
She's just gonna
look like sex.
24
00:01:50,006 --> 00:01:52,006
That's right,
I'm just the trailer.
25
00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:54,012
Please, if it happens,
it happens.
26
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:55,023
Bottoms up.
-Wait a second.
27
00:01:56,001 --> 00:01:57,001
Ooh...
28
00:01:57,003 --> 00:01:59,003
I thought you were serious
about this guy. You can't
29
00:01:59,003 --> 00:02:00,013
sleep with him
on the first date.
30
00:02:00,009 --> 00:02:02,019
Oh, God, here she goes again
with "the rules."
31
00:02:02,017 --> 00:02:03,007
The women who
wrote that book,
32
00:02:03,016 --> 00:02:05,016
they wrote it because
they couldn't get laid.
33
00:02:05,017 --> 00:02:07,007
So they constructed
this whole bullshit theory
34
00:02:07,016 --> 00:02:10,006
to make women who can
get laid feel bad.
35
00:02:10,008 --> 00:02:11,008
But if you're
serious about a guy,
36
00:02:11,010 --> 00:02:13,010
then you have to keep
him in a holding pattern
37
00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,998
for at least five dates.
38
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:16,002
Oh, you've gone up.
39
00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:18,012
Yes, because
the number of dates
40
00:02:18,014 --> 00:02:19,024
that you wait to
have sex with a man
41
00:02:20,001 --> 00:02:22,011
is directly proportional
to your age.
42
00:02:22,015 --> 00:02:23,015
Forget the math.
43
00:02:23,019 --> 00:02:25,019
Just don't fuck on
a first date, you're fine.
44
00:02:26,001 --> 00:02:27,011
-Third date.
-Too soon!
45
00:02:27,010 --> 00:02:28,010
Reality check.
46
00:02:28,009 --> 00:02:30,009
A guy can just as
easily dump you
47
00:02:30,008 --> 00:02:31,018
if you fuck him
on the first date
48
00:02:31,022 --> 00:02:33,022
as he can if you
wait until the 10th!
49
00:02:33,023 --> 00:02:35,003
When have you ever
50
00:02:35,002 --> 00:02:36,002
been on a 10th date?
51
00:02:36,004 --> 00:02:38,004
And by then at least you're
emotionally involved.
52
00:02:38,002 --> 00:02:39,002
Exactly. I mean,
53
00:02:39,006 --> 00:02:40,996
isn't it better
to find out if the sex
54
00:02:41,004 --> 00:02:42,014
is good right off the bat,
55
00:02:42,009 --> 00:02:43,999
before anybody's
feelings get hurt?
56
00:02:44,002 --> 00:02:45,012
But it's okay to
have hurt feelings.
57
00:02:45,015 --> 00:02:47,005
And you always handle
those so well.
58
00:02:47,008 --> 00:02:49,008
Well, there is something
to be said for restraint.
59
00:02:49,014 --> 00:02:50,024
When did you
become such a Victorian?
60
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,000
The Victorians were
on to something.
61
00:02:53,002 --> 00:02:54,002
They valued romance.
62
00:02:54,006 --> 00:02:56,996
True romance cannot
exist without good sex.
63
00:02:57,004 --> 00:02:58,024
And yet you can have
good sex with someone
64
00:02:59,001 --> 00:03:00,021
you don't like or respect.
65
00:03:01,001 --> 00:03:02,011
Or even remember.
66
00:03:04,011 --> 00:03:07,011
Alright, well, ladies,
I'm just going to dinner.
67
00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:08,007
Goodnight.
68
00:03:08,016 --> 00:03:10,016
Bye, have fun.
69
00:03:11,010 --> 00:03:12,020
Bye.
70
00:03:16,011 --> 00:03:18,011
The truth is, I was dying
to sleep with him.
71
00:03:18,015 --> 00:03:19,995
But isn't delayed gratification
72
00:03:20,006 --> 00:03:21,016
the definition of maturity?
73
00:03:31,018 --> 00:03:33,018
Interesting dress.
74
00:03:33,023 --> 00:03:35,013
Meaning?
75
00:03:35,012 --> 00:03:37,022
Interesting dress.
76
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,010
Don't worry. I'm perfectly
capable of restraining myself.
77
00:03:58,009 --> 00:03:59,019
So am I.
78
00:04:08,016 --> 00:04:10,006
I can't be hemmed in by rules.
79
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:11,996
I go with my emotions.
80
00:04:12,005 --> 00:04:14,015
I mean, some of the greatest
romances of all time
81
00:04:14,019 --> 00:04:17,009
began with sex on
the first date...
82
00:04:17,013 --> 00:04:19,013
I bet.
83
00:04:20,015 --> 00:04:22,005
I will not be
the first one to speak.
84
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,022
And if he never
calls me again,
85
00:04:23,018 --> 00:04:25,998
I'll always think
of him fondly...
86
00:04:26,002 --> 00:04:27,022
As an asshole.
87
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:30,021
That was really...
88
00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:34,010
I mean, can you believe we,
on the first date?
89
00:04:35,023 --> 00:04:38,013
I mean, I didn't
plan that, you know. I...
90
00:04:42,007 --> 00:04:43,017
What do you think?
91
00:04:43,022 --> 00:04:45,022
Well...
92
00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:48,013
-Oh...
93
00:04:48,016 --> 00:04:52,006
Uh, I thought it was
pretty fucking great.
94
00:04:52,013 --> 00:04:54,023
But what do I know?
95
00:04:57,022 --> 00:05:00,022
You feel like
having some Szechuan?
96
00:05:07,014 --> 00:05:09,014
Had Mr. Big
discovered my weakness
97
00:05:09,011 --> 00:05:12,001
for great sex
and greasy Chinese?
98
00:05:12,006 --> 00:05:13,006
Or was going out to dinner
99
00:05:13,007 --> 00:05:14,997
simply a diversionary
tactic to keep me
100
00:05:15,002 --> 00:05:16,022
from spending the night?
101
00:05:16,017 --> 00:05:19,997
Before I was able to completely
indulge my paranoia...
102
00:05:20,005 --> 00:05:22,015
It was my pal, Mike Singer.
103
00:05:22,018 --> 00:05:24,008
We've known each other
for ten years,
104
00:05:24,014 --> 00:05:25,024
but never had sex,
105
00:05:25,023 --> 00:05:28,013
because we want to know each
other for another ten years.
106
00:05:28,013 --> 00:05:29,023
Hey!
107
00:05:30,016 --> 00:05:32,016
Carrie, what are you doing here?
108
00:05:32,022 --> 00:05:34,012
-Well, I'm with, umm...
-Oh, that's him.
109
00:05:34,007 --> 00:05:37,007
No, no, I'll tell you all about
it later. I'll tell you later.
110
00:05:37,008 --> 00:05:39,008
-You look great.
111
00:05:39,008 --> 00:05:40,018
-Not too naked?
-Uh...
112
00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:42,011
Just naked enough.
113
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,009
Hmm...
114
00:05:48,004 --> 00:05:49,014
Hi, I'm Carrie Bradshaw.
115
00:05:49,009 --> 00:05:50,019
I'm an old friend of Mike's.
116
00:05:50,018 --> 00:05:51,008
I'm Libby Biyalick.
117
00:05:51,015 --> 00:05:52,995
It's so nice to
finally meet a friend.
118
00:05:53,005 --> 00:05:54,015
So, I'll call you.
119
00:05:56,016 --> 00:05:59,006
Okay, great.
Well, have a good dinner.
120
00:05:59,011 --> 00:06:00,021
Nice to meet you.
121
00:06:00,023 --> 00:06:02,013
I left the table wondering why
122
00:06:02,009 --> 00:06:05,019
Mike didn't want to
introduce me to his date.
123
00:06:05,022 --> 00:06:09,022
Jab, cross! Again! Jab, cross!
124
00:06:09,021 --> 00:06:11,011
That very same night,
125
00:06:11,008 --> 00:06:14,008
something absolutely
amazing happened to Miranda.
126
00:06:14,016 --> 00:06:15,996
Come on! Jab, cross, kick!
127
00:06:18,009 --> 00:06:21,009
Oh my God, oh my God!
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean--
128
00:06:21,010 --> 00:06:23,010
She met someone in gym class.
129
00:06:23,012 --> 00:06:24,022
Are you...?
Oh, God.
130
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,017
Are you sure you're okay?
131
00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:28,021
I'm fine, really.
132
00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:31,020
So, what exactly about
my head pissed you off?
133
00:06:31,018 --> 00:06:34,998
I wish there was
something I could do.
134
00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:38,013
Well, you could buy
me dinner sometime.
135
00:06:38,016 --> 00:06:40,006
-And a CAT scan.
136
00:06:40,016 --> 00:06:41,996
His name was Ted Baker.
137
00:06:42,004 --> 00:06:44,024
He was 32 years old,
a sports medicine doctor
138
00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:47,021
with an apartment overlooking
the Natural History Museum.
139
00:06:48,001 --> 00:06:50,021
Three prior serious
relationships,
140
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,020
none resulting in marriage.
141
00:06:53,022 --> 00:06:56,022
A kiss to make it better.
142
00:06:56,022 --> 00:07:00,022
So, really,
can I call you sometime?
143
00:07:02,013 --> 00:07:04,003
Sure.
144
00:07:06,002 --> 00:07:09,012
He left a message on
my machine when I got home.
145
00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:10,020
He wants to go out
this week.
146
00:07:10,022 --> 00:07:12,012
Hey, that's fantastic!
147
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:14,004
No, it's too quick.
148
00:07:14,002 --> 00:07:16,012
I think maybe that
kick in his head
scrambled his brains.
149
00:07:16,014 --> 00:07:20,014
No, too quick is sleeping
with him on the first date.
That's too quick.
150
00:07:20,013 --> 00:07:22,013
You both got excited
and you went for it.
151
00:07:22,014 --> 00:07:23,024
Stop blaming yourself.
152
00:07:23,021 --> 00:07:24,021
No, I don't blame myself.
153
00:07:24,021 --> 00:07:26,021
-I blame the dress, the dress.
154
00:07:27,001 --> 00:07:29,011
The dress led me on,
it had a life of its own.
155
00:07:29,012 --> 00:07:31,022
Oh, then we went to this
Chinese restaurant afterwards,
156
00:07:31,020 --> 00:07:33,020
and you'll never
guess who I ran into.
157
00:07:33,022 --> 00:07:35,022
-Who?
-Mike Singer, out on a date.
158
00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:36,999
The whole world's in love.
159
00:07:37,004 --> 00:07:38,014
Oh. I'm not sure, I don't know.
He was acting
160
00:07:38,016 --> 00:07:41,006
very weird. Like, he, uh...
161
00:07:41,015 --> 00:07:43,015
like he didn't want me
to meet her or something.
162
00:07:43,019 --> 00:07:44,019
What's her name?
163
00:07:44,021 --> 00:07:47,001
Her name was Libby Biyalick.
164
00:07:47,003 --> 00:07:48,023
Mike told me everything
that afternoon,
165
00:07:48,023 --> 00:07:50,013
while I helped him
pick out sheets
166
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,021
at Bed Bath & Beyond.
167
00:07:51,022 --> 00:07:54,012
So, how long have
you been seeing her?
168
00:07:54,010 --> 00:07:56,010
A while.
169
00:07:56,012 --> 00:07:58,012
-Is this a painful topic?
170
00:07:58,010 --> 00:08:01,010
No, it's just, she's not
someone I date openly.
171
00:08:01,013 --> 00:08:02,023
Why, is she married?
172
00:08:02,019 --> 00:08:03,019
No.
173
00:08:03,022 --> 00:08:05,002
Is she a cousin?
174
00:08:05,004 --> 00:08:06,024
No.
175
00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:10,008
Look, the thing is,
she's smart,
176
00:08:10,010 --> 00:08:14,020
she's incredibly sweet,
and the sex is great.
177
00:08:14,022 --> 00:08:17,012
Well, she's just not
the one I see myself with.
178
00:08:17,011 --> 00:08:19,011
Why not?
179
00:08:19,016 --> 00:08:21,016
It was about
three months ago.
180
00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:23,022
Mike had been dumped
by Fiona Brooks,
181
00:08:23,020 --> 00:08:25,010
a cellist for the Philharmonic,
182
00:08:25,015 --> 00:08:29,015
who he was trying to forget
as quickly as possible.
183
00:08:29,018 --> 00:08:30,998
They had both loved to cook,
184
00:08:31,002 --> 00:08:34,012
and shopping for the week
was a Saturday morning ritual.
185
00:08:34,010 --> 00:08:37,010
So he was feeling
particularly vulnerable when...
186
00:08:37,013 --> 00:08:39,013
Care to try some aged
sheep's milk cheese
187
00:08:39,008 --> 00:08:41,008
from the Tyrolean Alps?
188
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,000
Thanks.
189
00:08:48,013 --> 00:08:49,023
Mmm, it's good.
190
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,020
It's made by monks.
191
00:08:51,018 --> 00:08:54,008
-Really?
-Trappist monks.
192
00:08:56,005 --> 00:08:58,015
Fresh goat cheese from
the Napa Valley.
193
00:09:02,003 --> 00:09:04,013
It's delicious.
194
00:09:05,013 --> 00:09:08,003
L'explorateur.
195
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:10,016
It's a triple
crème from France.
196
00:09:21,011 --> 00:09:25,021
Mike found himself
very uninhibited.
197
00:09:25,017 --> 00:09:27,017
Since he didn't think
Libby was that gorgeous,
198
00:09:27,018 --> 00:09:29,018
there wasn't any pressure.
199
00:09:35,010 --> 00:09:38,010
The next morning,
he woke up and felt at ease,
200
00:09:38,014 --> 00:09:40,004
very relaxed.
201
00:09:40,003 --> 00:09:42,003
I'm a creative director
of an ad agency,
202
00:09:42,003 --> 00:09:46,023
but eventually I'd love
to have my own shop.
203
00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:49,018
I'd love to have
my own shop, too.
204
00:09:50,001 --> 00:09:52,021
Well, cheese shop, I mean.
205
00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:55,010
She was one of the only
women he'd ever met
206
00:09:55,013 --> 00:09:58,003
who he felt he could
just be with.
207
00:09:58,005 --> 00:10:00,005
So what's the problem?
208
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:03,016
Look, she's not beautiful,
209
00:10:03,017 --> 00:10:05,017
and we don't have
a lot in common.
210
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,020
I mean, you know, most
of her friends are in dairy.
211
00:10:09,001 --> 00:10:11,011
But she's
warm, and unpretentious,
212
00:10:11,013 --> 00:10:16,013
and it is the best sex
I've ever had in my life.
213
00:10:16,012 --> 00:10:18,022
What are you afraid of?
What other people
are going to think?
214
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,010
Look, all I know is that
215
00:10:20,013 --> 00:10:23,013
she's not the right woman
for me in the larger sense.
216
00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:25,023
So I keep her a secret.
217
00:10:27,007 --> 00:10:29,007
I couldn't decide
whether Mike was being
218
00:10:29,011 --> 00:10:32,001
shallow or honest.
219
00:10:32,002 --> 00:10:34,022
But the question
nagged me for days.
220
00:10:34,023 --> 00:10:38,003
How many of us out there
are having great sex
221
00:10:38,003 --> 00:10:41,023
with people we're ashamed to
introduce to our friends?
222
00:10:41,023 --> 00:10:43,023
Have I ever had fabulous
sex with someone
223
00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:47,010
I didn't want to admit to?
Hmm...
224
00:10:47,008 --> 00:10:50,998
Mm. Did I ever tell you about
that jazz musician
225
00:10:51,004 --> 00:10:52,024
who lived with
his mother in Queens?
226
00:10:52,021 --> 00:10:53,021
Yeah, Alex.
227
00:10:53,022 --> 00:10:55,012
What about the window washer?
228
00:10:55,010 --> 00:10:57,020
The one who doesn't
wear any underwear?
229
00:10:57,022 --> 00:11:01,002
I met this gorgeous kid
in Spy Bar last year.
230
00:11:01,002 --> 00:11:04,012
He turned out to
be in high school.
231
00:11:04,010 --> 00:11:07,010
Evidently, Samantha
had had lots of sex,
232
00:11:07,010 --> 00:11:09,020
none of which was secret.
233
00:11:09,017 --> 00:11:11,017
Fine, it just proves that
I'm not ashamed of anyone
234
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,000
who I've slept with.
235
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:15,005
Okay, here it is.
236
00:11:16,006 --> 00:11:17,016
Up here.
237
00:11:22,008 --> 00:11:23,998
Oh, you look--
238
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,997
Naked.
239
00:11:26,006 --> 00:11:27,006
There it was,
240
00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:28,020
the dress that lead me down
241
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,020
the garden path with Mr. Big.
242
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,023
I shouldn't
be embarrassed?
243
00:11:32,022 --> 00:11:34,022
No, you look fabulous!
244
00:11:34,018 --> 00:11:36,998
Besides, there's no such
thing as bad publicity.
245
00:11:37,003 --> 00:11:38,023
Yeah. You would say that,
you're a publicist.
246
00:11:39,001 --> 00:11:42,001
You know, we need to go
someplace absolutely fabulous
247
00:11:42,003 --> 00:11:43,023
where we can toast you,
where the bus goes by.
248
00:11:43,023 --> 00:11:45,003
And you can invite Mr. Big.
249
00:11:45,003 --> 00:11:47,013
No, no, I don't think so.
I haven't heard from him
250
00:11:47,009 --> 00:11:48,009
since we spent
the night together.
251
00:11:48,015 --> 00:11:49,995
Oh, sweetie, forget about him.
252
00:11:50,005 --> 00:11:52,005
You are going to be on
the side of a bus.
253
00:11:52,013 --> 00:11:54,023
Ten million men are going
to be drooling over you
254
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,000
every morning on
their way to work.
255
00:11:57,003 --> 00:11:59,023
It's the best personal ad
I've ever seen in my life.
256
00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:02,001
Samantha had a particular knack
257
00:12:02,003 --> 00:12:05,003
for turning a desperate
situation into a hopeless one.
258
00:12:05,005 --> 00:12:07,015
Oh, speaking of secret sex,
259
00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:10,020
did Charlotte ever tell
you about the rabbi?
260
00:12:10,023 --> 00:12:11,023
The rabbi?
261
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:12,020
Excuse me?
262
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,010
You know who I'm
talking about.
263
00:12:14,014 --> 00:12:16,014
I cannot believe that
the two of you came down here
264
00:12:16,009 --> 00:12:17,009
to interrogate me at work!
265
00:12:17,016 --> 00:12:19,006
I'm sorry, it's my fault.
266
00:12:19,015 --> 00:12:22,005
Anyway,
he wasn't a rabbi.
267
00:12:22,012 --> 00:12:25,012
He was a Hasidic folk
artist from Brooklyn.
268
00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:28,010
Close enough.
269
00:12:28,007 --> 00:12:30,017
Evidently, Charlotte
had seen Shmuel's work
270
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,001
in an exhibition,
271
00:12:32,005 --> 00:12:35,995
and scheduled an appointment
to meet him at his studio.
272
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:40,006
These are outstanding,
so much life.
273
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,019
You have a beautiful
way with light.
274
00:12:42,021 --> 00:12:44,011
Thank you.
275
00:12:51,018 --> 00:12:54,008
Now this one is really special.
276
00:12:54,011 --> 00:12:56,011
That's my Yeshiva.
277
00:12:57,021 --> 00:13:00,021
I wanted to capture
the exuberance of youth.
278
00:13:01,001 --> 00:13:04,011
Charlotte quickly became
intoxicated by his talent,
279
00:13:04,015 --> 00:13:07,995
his strangeness
and the smell of his wool.
280
00:13:08,002 --> 00:13:09,022
Magical.
281
00:13:16,010 --> 00:13:19,010
It was so sexy, so forbidden.
282
00:13:19,008 --> 00:13:21,008
Daddy's little
Episcopalian princess
283
00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:24,010
in the arms of one
of God's chosen people.
284
00:13:25,022 --> 00:13:29,022
We would talk about art
and sex and the Torah.
285
00:13:29,022 --> 00:13:32,012
Well, why didn't you
introduce him to anybody?
286
00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:33,020
I was embarrassed.
287
00:13:33,023 --> 00:13:35,013
I mean, I couldn't
really date him.
288
00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:37,014
And he couldn't date me.
289
00:13:37,008 --> 00:13:38,018
I mean, what would people think?
290
00:13:38,023 --> 00:13:41,023
If the sex is good,
who cares what anybody thinks?
291
00:13:41,022 --> 00:13:45,002
Now you cannot put
this in your column. Promise?
292
00:13:45,004 --> 00:13:46,014
I promise.
293
00:13:46,010 --> 00:13:49,010
Was secret sex the ultimate
form of intimacy,
294
00:13:49,016 --> 00:13:51,006
since it existed
in a pure state,
295
00:13:51,011 --> 00:13:53,021
exempt from the judgment
of the world?
296
00:13:53,020 --> 00:13:56,010
Or is it just another way in
which we deny our feelings
297
00:13:56,015 --> 00:13:59,995
and emotionally
compartmentalize our lives?
298
00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,007
Hello?
299
00:14:05,016 --> 00:14:07,006
Do you miss me yet?
300
00:14:07,008 --> 00:14:08,018
Who is this?
301
00:14:08,019 --> 00:14:10,009
How've you been?
302
00:14:10,011 --> 00:14:13,011
Oh, great.
303
00:14:13,013 --> 00:14:15,023
Fabulous, fantastic actually,
and you?
304
00:14:15,019 --> 00:14:19,019
Well, at the risk
of sounding trite...
305
00:14:21,005 --> 00:14:23,995
I haven't been able to
stop thinking about you.
306
00:14:24,004 --> 00:14:25,014
I adore trite.
307
00:14:28,003 --> 00:14:31,013
Listen, we should have
a real first date.
308
00:14:31,007 --> 00:14:33,017
You know, the traditional
American type.
309
00:14:33,018 --> 00:14:35,008
Dinner and a movie.
310
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:37,017
Of course, knowing us,
we'll skip the movie.
311
00:14:37,020 --> 00:14:40,000
Just as long as we
don't skip dinner.
312
00:14:41,017 --> 00:14:42,017
What a relief.
313
00:14:42,018 --> 00:14:44,998
I had just escaped the sex
on the first date curse.
314
00:14:45,005 --> 00:14:46,005
Whew!
315
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:49,000
That weekend, I was out
with a man whose name
316
00:14:49,003 --> 00:14:51,013
I wanted to shout
from the rooftops.
317
00:14:51,007 --> 00:14:52,997
Let me get this straight,
318
00:14:53,002 --> 00:14:56,022
your picture is going
to be on a bus?
319
00:14:56,017 --> 00:14:57,997
That's right.
320
00:14:58,005 --> 00:15:00,995
A cross town bus,
or a downtown bus?
321
00:15:01,002 --> 00:15:03,012
The M2.
It goes right down Fifth.
322
00:15:04,011 --> 00:15:05,021
That's a good line.
323
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:07,000
I'm getting together
a group of my friends
324
00:15:07,004 --> 00:15:09,004
tomorrow afternoon
to watch it go by.
325
00:15:09,006 --> 00:15:11,996
I thought, maybe if you
weren't doing anything--
326
00:15:12,002 --> 00:15:14,002
Hey, how are you?
327
00:15:14,006 --> 00:15:16,996
Hey, how are you?
It's good to see you.
328
00:15:17,004 --> 00:15:19,004
-You remember Phyllis.
-Of course, Phyllis.
329
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:21,002
-How are you?
-Everything good?
330
00:15:21,005 --> 00:15:23,005
Yeah, everything's dandy.
331
00:15:23,015 --> 00:15:25,005
Well, that's what I hear.
332
00:15:27,022 --> 00:15:30,012
-So, uh, good to see you.
-Good to see you again.
333
00:15:30,009 --> 00:15:32,999
-Good seeing you.
-Bye-bye, cheers.
334
00:15:35,023 --> 00:15:37,023
-Who was that?
-Just some guy
335
00:15:37,018 --> 00:15:39,008
I skied with in Aspen.
336
00:15:39,014 --> 00:15:41,004
I didn't understand.
337
00:15:41,005 --> 00:15:43,995
Had I suddenly become
the invisible woman?
338
00:15:44,002 --> 00:15:46,022
I tried not to let it
bother me.
339
00:15:46,020 --> 00:15:48,010
I also tried not to
let it bother me
340
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:50,014
that he took me
back to Fung Wa,
341
00:15:50,013 --> 00:15:53,013
scene of our
post-coital dinner.
342
00:15:53,008 --> 00:15:55,008
Oh, I can't make
your party tomorrow.
343
00:15:55,011 --> 00:15:56,021
Oh, no.
344
00:15:56,017 --> 00:15:58,007
I wanted to introduce you
to some of my friends.
345
00:15:58,014 --> 00:16:01,014
Well, I'll be home
later if you miss me.
346
00:16:02,017 --> 00:16:04,017
As I surveyed the room,
347
00:16:04,018 --> 00:16:06,018
I realized it smelled
like a cheap date
348
00:16:06,020 --> 00:16:09,010
you don't want
anyone to meet.
349
00:16:09,013 --> 00:16:11,013
I told Mr. Big
I was on a deadline
350
00:16:11,007 --> 00:16:12,007
and I had to get home.
351
00:16:14,021 --> 00:16:17,011
-Hello?
-Listen, I have a question.
352
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:19,010
Of all the restaurants
in Manhattan,
353
00:16:19,014 --> 00:16:21,014
why did you take
Libby to Fung Wa?
354
00:16:21,009 --> 00:16:22,019
Well, it's pretty obscure.
355
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,000
Not much of a chance of
running into anybody I know.
356
00:16:25,002 --> 00:16:26,022
So, you mean
it's the kind of a place
357
00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:29,008
that men take women
they don't want to be
seen with in public?
358
00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:31,000
Yes, it is perfect for that.
359
00:16:31,003 --> 00:16:33,003
Oh, sorry.
360
00:16:33,004 --> 00:16:34,024
The evidence was mounting.
361
00:16:34,018 --> 00:16:36,008
Was it possible
that I had become
362
00:16:36,010 --> 00:16:38,020
Mr. Big's secret sex girl?
363
00:16:39,010 --> 00:16:40,010
The next morning,
364
00:16:40,014 --> 00:16:44,004
Miranda discovered a shocking
sex secret of her own.
365
00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:46,012
She had just spent a
wonderful night with Ted,
366
00:16:46,012 --> 00:16:47,022
who had to leave early
in the morning
367
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,010
to catch a flight to D.C.
for a spinal conference.
368
00:16:50,016 --> 00:16:52,006
I can go home, it's no big deal.
369
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:55,002
No, stay, it's 6:00 a.m.
370
00:16:57,012 --> 00:17:00,022
I'll be back tonight.
Want to do something?
371
00:17:01,001 --> 00:17:03,011
-I'd love to.
-Alright, I'll call you at work.
372
00:17:03,010 --> 00:17:04,020
Have a good flight.
373
00:17:11,023 --> 00:17:14,003
Miranda waited for
the dead bolt to drop,
374
00:17:14,003 --> 00:17:17,013
and then used the opportunity
to ransack Ted's apartment
375
00:17:17,011 --> 00:17:20,001
and look for pictures
of old girlfriends.
376
00:17:23,013 --> 00:17:26,023
She was not at all prepared
for what she found.
377
00:17:32,023 --> 00:17:37,023
Yeah? Do you feel
your cock where it wants to e
every night?
378
00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:39,022
Every single night
when you come home
379
00:17:40,001 --> 00:17:41,021
and everything's done
in the house
380
00:17:41,023 --> 00:17:43,023
and I've been doing
it all day long...
381
00:17:43,023 --> 00:17:45,023
I don't know what to do.
382
00:17:45,019 --> 00:17:46,999
I can't admit to
having found this,
383
00:17:47,004 --> 00:17:49,024
but now I don't know
if I want to see him again.
384
00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:52,020
How can you judge him
until you spank him?
385
00:17:53,011 --> 00:17:54,021
I'm only kidding.
386
00:17:54,017 --> 00:17:58,007
But, I mean, obviously
this is what he's into.
387
00:17:58,011 --> 00:18:00,021
Maybe it's just
his fantasy life.
388
00:18:03,009 --> 00:18:04,009
Later that day,
389
00:18:04,012 --> 00:18:06,012
the cream of New York
gathered to toast
390
00:18:06,012 --> 00:18:08,002
the maiden voyage of my bus.
391
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:09,014
Where's Mr. Big?
392
00:18:09,011 --> 00:18:11,001
Oh, he couldn't make it.
393
00:18:11,003 --> 00:18:12,023
What do you mean
he couldn't make it?
394
00:18:12,017 --> 00:18:14,007
I don't know,
it's a work thing.
395
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:16,009
Oh, but this is your bus party!
396
00:18:16,008 --> 00:18:18,018
Oh, I told you,
you shouldn't have...
397
00:18:18,019 --> 00:18:20,019
Well, never mind.
398
00:18:20,017 --> 00:18:23,017
What, he's not here
because I slept with
him on the first date?
399
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:26,009
Basically, yes.
When you sleep with a man
on the first date,
400
00:18:26,013 --> 00:18:28,013
the relationship will never be
anything more than just sex.
401
00:18:28,010 --> 00:18:30,010
-Uh-huh.
Okay, thank you.
402
00:18:30,016 --> 00:18:31,016
-Cheers!
-Cheers!
403
00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:33,010
I didn't want to admit
that she was right.
404
00:18:33,013 --> 00:18:35,003
Ah, here it comes,
here it comes!
405
00:18:35,005 --> 00:18:37,015
I just wanted to see my bus
and get the hell out of there.
406
00:18:39,016 --> 00:18:41,016
-Oh, shit.
Carrie!
407
00:18:41,017 --> 00:18:43,997
-Hi, did I miss it?
-Hey! Hi.
408
00:18:44,002 --> 00:18:45,002
Not yet, no.
409
00:18:45,006 --> 00:18:46,016
Hey, I thought you were
going to bring Libby...
410
00:18:46,022 --> 00:18:48,022
Oh, yeah. I finally asked her
to join me in public
411
00:18:48,019 --> 00:18:50,009
and she turns me down.
412
00:18:50,016 --> 00:18:51,016
Why?
413
00:18:51,023 --> 00:18:53,003
She told me that she
met somebody else
414
00:18:53,003 --> 00:18:54,023
who doesn't have
my problems with intimacy.
415
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,010
Oh, I'm sorry.
416
00:18:56,009 --> 00:18:57,999
Uh! Quiet,
417
00:18:58,003 --> 00:18:59,023
here you come!
418
00:19:07,007 --> 00:19:08,017
Ohh...
419
00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:13,012
Aw, don't worry, sweetie,
don't worry. Eh...
420
00:19:13,015 --> 00:19:15,005
Nobody in New York
notices a bus
421
00:19:15,016 --> 00:19:17,006
until it's about to hit them.
422
00:19:17,008 --> 00:19:18,018
That's right.
423
00:19:19,015 --> 00:19:20,015
Meanwhile,
424
00:19:20,017 --> 00:19:23,007
Miranda spent another
wonderful evening with Ted
425
00:19:23,011 --> 00:19:25,011
and began to re-evaluate
her options.
426
00:19:25,016 --> 00:19:28,016
That was one of
the most amazing meals
427
00:19:28,019 --> 00:19:30,019
I have ever had. Thank you.
428
00:19:30,023 --> 00:19:32,013
My pleasure.
429
00:19:33,016 --> 00:19:37,006
You know,
I missed you today.
430
00:19:37,016 --> 00:19:40,006
-You did?
431
00:19:40,011 --> 00:19:41,021
I guess I've just been
waiting all this time
432
00:19:41,021 --> 00:19:43,011
for a good kick in the head.
433
00:19:43,014 --> 00:19:46,004
And here I thought that
all you really wanted
434
00:19:46,004 --> 00:19:48,024
was a good spanking.
435
00:19:48,022 --> 00:19:50,012
Excuse me?
436
00:19:50,016 --> 00:19:52,006
You heard me.
437
00:19:56,015 --> 00:19:57,995
Oh.
438
00:20:02,020 --> 00:20:05,010
Ted didn't take Miranda
home that night.
439
00:20:05,015 --> 00:20:08,995
He never took her calls
or returned her messages.
440
00:20:09,003 --> 00:20:12,013
And she never saw him
at the gym again.
441
00:20:14,003 --> 00:20:15,023
Very late that night,
442
00:20:15,021 --> 00:20:19,001
fueled by a massive
quantity of champagne,
443
00:20:19,002 --> 00:20:22,012
I decided to say
goodbye to Mr. Big.
444
00:20:27,005 --> 00:20:28,005
I just came here
to tell you that
445
00:20:28,010 --> 00:20:31,000
if you're embarrassed
or ashamed
446
00:20:31,003 --> 00:20:33,013
to be involved
with me in any way,
447
00:20:33,007 --> 00:20:35,007
that we can no longer
see each other.
448
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:37,016
The truth is, I blamed myself.
449
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,010
I wore the naked dress
on our first date,
450
00:20:40,016 --> 00:20:42,016
I slept with him too fast,
451
00:20:42,018 --> 00:20:46,018
and now I'm on a Fifth Avenue
bus with a penis on my head.
452
00:20:46,018 --> 00:20:49,008
What are you talking about?
453
00:20:49,012 --> 00:20:51,022
You won't introduce me
to your friends,
454
00:20:51,022 --> 00:20:53,022
you bring me back
to that restaurant
455
00:20:53,022 --> 00:20:56,022
where men take women they
don't want to be seen with,
456
00:20:56,020 --> 00:20:58,020
you won't come out
and meet my friends.
457
00:20:58,021 --> 00:21:00,011
You have me in a niche.
458
00:21:00,015 --> 00:21:02,005
Certain events,
certain restaurants,
459
00:21:02,016 --> 00:21:03,016
certain people.
460
00:21:03,020 --> 00:21:07,020
Like I'm only a particular
fragment of the kind of person
461
00:21:08,001 --> 00:21:10,011
you think that you
should be dating.
462
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:14,024
But I've only gotten to know
a particular fragment.
463
00:21:14,021 --> 00:21:17,011
Although, I'm beginning
to know more.
464
00:21:17,012 --> 00:21:18,022
No, this is not me.
465
00:21:18,017 --> 00:21:22,007
This is me reacting to
your perception of me.
466
00:21:23,004 --> 00:21:25,014
Oh, okay.
467
00:21:27,007 --> 00:21:29,017
Well...
468
00:21:29,018 --> 00:21:30,998
I think Fung Wa's is
469
00:21:31,004 --> 00:21:32,014
the best Chinese food
470
00:21:32,014 --> 00:21:35,014
in the city, so that's
why we went there.
471
00:21:35,014 --> 00:21:37,014
And, uh...
472
00:21:37,011 --> 00:21:41,011
Oh... The guy we met
in the street,
473
00:21:41,007 --> 00:21:42,007
I couldn't
remember his name,
474
00:21:42,016 --> 00:21:44,006
which possibly means
I have Alzheimer's.
475
00:21:44,015 --> 00:21:46,005
So that's what that was about.
476
00:21:46,016 --> 00:21:50,016
And this afternoon
I had courtside tickets
477
00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:52,010
to the Knicks,
478
00:21:52,016 --> 00:21:56,006
and that's all folks!
479
00:21:56,016 --> 00:21:59,016
I should have been
jumping for joy,
480
00:21:59,021 --> 00:22:02,011
but I only felt
a hard knot of fear.
481
00:22:04,022 --> 00:22:06,022
So you and me...
482
00:22:08,002 --> 00:22:10,012
Then maybe
this is for real?
483
00:22:14,015 --> 00:22:16,005
Could be...