1 00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:49,014 Last night, my friend Miranda got invited to a dinner party 2 00:00:49,009 --> 00:00:51,009 by a man she hardly knew. 3 00:00:52,017 --> 00:00:54,007 She was the date of Nick Waxler, 4 00:00:54,013 --> 00:00:56,013 a fairly successful sports agent 5 00:00:56,016 --> 00:00:58,016 who once told her she had nice legs. 6 00:00:59,011 --> 00:01:00,011 Okay, 7 00:01:00,020 --> 00:01:03,020 old movie stars you'd have liked to fuck 8 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,010 when they were young. 9 00:01:05,008 --> 00:01:06,998 Alive or dead? 10 00:01:07,004 --> 00:01:09,004 It doesn't matter, I'll start. 11 00:01:09,009 --> 00:01:10,019 Veronica Lake, 12 00:01:10,019 --> 00:01:12,019 the year she made Sullivan's Travels . 13 00:01:13,008 --> 00:01:14,008 Dave? 14 00:01:14,010 --> 00:01:17,020 Huh. I'd have to say Sophia Loren. 15 00:01:18,004 --> 00:01:20,014 Probably 'cause my dad had this thing for her. 16 00:01:20,007 --> 00:01:22,007 -Uh, we won't go there. 17 00:01:22,008 --> 00:01:23,008 Montgomery Clift. 18 00:01:23,008 --> 00:01:24,008 He was gay. 19 00:01:24,014 --> 00:01:25,014 Oh. 20 00:01:25,014 --> 00:01:26,024 Marilyn Monroe, 21 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,020 before the Kennedys got to her. Honey? 22 00:01:28,018 --> 00:01:30,998 -Bing Crosby. 23 00:01:31,002 --> 00:01:33,012 Ah! I stand by my choice. 24 00:01:34,008 --> 00:01:35,008 Sean Connery, 25 00:01:35,020 --> 00:01:38,020 yesterday, today, and tomorrow. 26 00:01:38,020 --> 00:01:43,020 For a first date, Miranda felt like she was hitting it out of the ballpark. 27 00:01:44,016 --> 00:01:45,016 Thanks. 28 00:01:46,004 --> 00:01:48,014 So how long have you known Nick? 29 00:01:48,018 --> 00:01:51,018 We've been riding the same elevator line for years 30 00:01:52,001 --> 00:01:54,001 and then we had lunch a few weeks ago 31 00:01:54,005 --> 00:01:56,005 and then he invited me here to dinner. 32 00:01:56,013 --> 00:01:58,023 Well, we adore him. 33 00:01:58,017 --> 00:01:59,017 He's very smart. 34 00:02:00,001 --> 00:02:02,001 I guess he took our little ultimatum seriously. 35 00:02:02,006 --> 00:02:03,016 Deanne. 36 00:02:05,004 --> 00:02:06,024 What are you talking about? 37 00:02:06,018 --> 00:02:07,998 They told Miranda 38 00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:10,023 that Nick had this thing for models. 39 00:02:10,021 --> 00:02:12,011 Okay, old movie stars 40 00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:14,007 you would have liked to fuck when they were young. 41 00:02:14,010 --> 00:02:15,010 I'll start. 42 00:02:15,008 --> 00:02:16,018 Veronica Lake, 43 00:02:16,018 --> 00:02:18,008 the year she made Sullivan's Travels . 44 00:02:18,014 --> 00:02:19,014 Dave? 45 00:02:19,015 --> 00:02:21,015 I'd have to go with Sophia Loren. 46 00:02:21,018 --> 00:02:24,008 Probably, my dad had a thing for her. 47 00:02:24,008 --> 00:02:25,008 Montgomery Clift. 48 00:02:25,023 --> 00:02:27,013 Marilyn Monroe. 49 00:02:27,010 --> 00:02:28,020 Bing Crosby. 50 00:02:30,007 --> 00:02:31,007 Yvette? 51 00:02:32,006 --> 00:02:35,016 Um, I don't know, Charlie Sheen? 52 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:39,022 They'd come to dinner, push their food around, 53 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,010 and pout. 54 00:02:41,010 --> 00:02:42,020 Veronica Lake. 55 00:02:42,018 --> 00:02:43,018 Sophia Loren. 56 00:02:43,020 --> 00:02:45,000 Montgomery Clift. 57 00:02:45,006 --> 00:02:46,016 Marilyn Monroe. 58 00:02:47,004 --> 00:02:48,014 Bing Crosby. 59 00:02:48,012 --> 00:02:49,022 Marissa? 60 00:03:01,016 --> 00:03:02,016 She, um... 61 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,006 had to make a phone call. 62 00:03:05,009 --> 00:03:07,009 It got to be a problem. 63 00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:09,007 They decided to take action. 64 00:03:09,010 --> 00:03:10,020 Can't you find a woman 65 00:03:10,019 --> 00:03:13,009 who can carry on a decent conversation? 66 00:03:13,009 --> 00:03:15,999 Yeah, Nick. And eat without purging. 67 00:03:16,003 --> 00:03:17,023 -What are you saying? 68 00:03:17,019 --> 00:03:20,009 You can't bring around any more of these so-called models, Nick. 69 00:03:20,010 --> 00:03:22,000 Uh-uh, it's too depressing. 70 00:03:23,010 --> 00:03:24,020 Okay, okay. 71 00:03:25,021 --> 00:03:27,001 I'll see what I can do. 72 00:03:27,015 --> 00:03:29,005 And then he brought you. 73 00:03:29,012 --> 00:03:31,012 So obviously not a model. 74 00:03:31,014 --> 00:03:32,024 In a good way! 75 00:03:33,023 --> 00:03:36,013 Nick dates models? 76 00:03:43,001 --> 00:03:44,021 Miranda confronted him, 77 00:03:44,018 --> 00:03:46,018 and it didn't take him long to fold. 78 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:48,997 Well, it's true. It's true, okay? 79 00:03:49,002 --> 00:03:50,002 I'm obsessed. 80 00:03:50,004 --> 00:03:51,014 Obsessed with models. 81 00:03:51,007 --> 00:03:52,017 -Correct. -So what am I? 82 00:03:52,021 --> 00:03:54,021 Your intellectual beard for the evening? 83 00:03:54,018 --> 00:03:56,008 Look, don't be pissed, all right? 84 00:03:56,016 --> 00:03:59,016 You got to admit, you met some nice people. 85 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,020 All right, you had a good time. 86 00:04:04,006 --> 00:04:05,996 You were on a date with a modelizer 87 00:04:06,004 --> 00:04:07,024 and you didn't even know it? 88 00:04:07,022 --> 00:04:10,012 If men like Nick are dating models, 89 00:04:10,008 --> 00:04:11,998 what chance do ordinary women have? 90 00:04:12,006 --> 00:04:15,996 I mean, do you have to be a supermodel to get a date in New York? 91 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:19,005 Modelizers are a particular breed. 92 00:04:19,007 --> 00:04:20,017 They're a step beyond womanizers 93 00:04:20,023 --> 00:04:23,023 who will sleep with just about anything in a skirt. 94 00:04:23,022 --> 00:04:25,012 Modelizers are obsessed, 95 00:04:25,012 --> 00:04:27,022 not with women, but with models, 96 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:31,017 who, in most cities, are safely confined to billboards and magazines, 97 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:34,021 but in Manhattan, actually run wild on the streets, 98 00:04:34,021 --> 00:04:37,021 turning the city into a virtual model country safari, 99 00:04:37,021 --> 00:04:41,001 where men can pet the creatures in their natural habitat. 100 00:04:41,002 --> 00:04:43,012 As if we didn't have enough problems. 101 00:04:44,021 --> 00:04:46,011 They're stupid and lazy 102 00:04:46,011 --> 00:04:47,021 and they should be shot on sight. 103 00:04:47,019 --> 00:04:48,999 I've been out with a lot of guys 104 00:04:49,005 --> 00:04:51,005 and they say I am just as beautiful as a model, 105 00:04:51,008 --> 00:04:53,998 but I work for a living. I mean, I'm like, well, 106 00:04:54,003 --> 00:04:56,013 I'm like a model who's taken the high road. 107 00:04:56,007 --> 00:04:57,997 The advantages given to models 108 00:04:58,005 --> 00:04:59,015 and to beautiful women in general 109 00:04:59,021 --> 00:05:01,021 are so unfair, it makes me want to puke. 110 00:05:01,022 --> 00:05:03,022 Sweetheart, you shouldn't say that, you are so cute. 111 00:05:03,021 --> 00:05:05,011 Cute doesn't cut it in this town. 112 00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:07,024 What's cute compared to supermodel? 113 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,010 There's nothing like raising the subject of models 114 00:05:10,014 --> 00:05:11,024 among four single women 115 00:05:11,023 --> 00:05:14,013 to spice up an otherwise dull Tuesday night. 116 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,024 They have this distant, sexy look. 117 00:05:16,023 --> 00:05:18,023 That's not sexy, it's starvation. 118 00:05:18,023 --> 00:05:21,003 That's starvation in the best restaurants. 119 00:05:21,005 --> 00:05:22,995 Yeah. What I want to know is, 120 00:05:23,005 --> 00:05:25,015 when did all the men get together and decide 121 00:05:25,021 --> 00:05:28,021 that they would only get it up for giraffes with big breasts? 122 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,020 In some cultures, heavy women with mustaches 123 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,010 are considered beautiful. 124 00:05:34,011 --> 00:05:35,021 And you're looking at me while you're saying that? 125 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,000 We should just admit that we live in a culture 126 00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:40,013 that promotes impossible standards of beauty. 127 00:05:40,008 --> 00:05:41,018 Yeah, except men think they're possible. 128 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,010 -Yeah. -I just know no matter how good I feel about myself, 129 00:05:45,013 --> 00:05:48,003 if I see Christy Turlington, I just want to give up. 130 00:05:48,006 --> 00:05:50,016 I just want to tie her down and force feed her lard, 131 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,000 but that's the difference between you and me. 132 00:05:53,006 --> 00:05:54,016 What are you talking about? 133 00:05:54,018 --> 00:05:56,018 Look at you two, you're beautiful. 134 00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:58,021 I hate my thighs. 135 00:05:58,022 --> 00:06:00,002 Oh, come on! 136 00:06:00,003 --> 00:06:01,023 I can't even open a magazine 137 00:06:01,021 --> 00:06:04,011 without thinking, "thighs, thighs, thighs." 138 00:06:04,007 --> 00:06:06,997 Well, I'll take your thighs and raise you a chin. 139 00:06:07,002 --> 00:06:09,002 I'll take your chin and raise you a... 140 00:06:14,001 --> 00:06:15,021 -What? -Oh, come on. 141 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,020 Hey, I happen to love the way I look. 142 00:06:18,019 --> 00:06:20,009 You should, you paid enough for it. 143 00:06:20,016 --> 00:06:22,006 Hey, I resent that. 144 00:06:22,008 --> 00:06:24,008 I do not believe in plastic surgery. 145 00:06:25,001 --> 00:06:25,021 Well, not yet. 146 00:06:26,001 --> 00:06:28,011 I find it fascinating that four, 147 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:30,023 beautiful, flesh and blood women 148 00:06:30,022 --> 00:06:33,012 could be intimidated by some unreal fantasy. 149 00:06:33,009 --> 00:06:35,009 I mean look. Look at this. 150 00:06:35,017 --> 00:06:37,997 Is this really intimidating to any of you? 151 00:06:38,020 --> 00:06:40,010 I hate my thighs. 152 00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:42,998 -Pass the chicken. -You know, I have that dress. 153 00:06:43,004 --> 00:06:44,024 Suddenly, I was interested. 154 00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:48,000 If models could cause otherwise rational individuals 155 00:06:48,002 --> 00:06:49,022 to crumble in their presence, 156 00:06:49,018 --> 00:06:51,018 exactly how powerful was beauty? 157 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,000 There are two types of guys that fall for beautiful women. 158 00:06:55,004 --> 00:06:57,014 Either they're slimeballs that are just out to get laid, 159 00:06:57,014 --> 00:06:59,014 or they fall in love with you instantly. 160 00:06:59,011 --> 00:07:00,011 It's pathetic. 161 00:07:00,010 --> 00:07:02,010 Why fuck the girl in the skirt, 162 00:07:02,010 --> 00:07:05,020 if you can fuck the girl in the ad for the skirt? 163 00:07:05,018 --> 00:07:07,018 Being beautiful is such a power. 164 00:07:07,022 --> 00:07:09,022 You can get whatever you want. 165 00:07:09,019 --> 00:07:10,019 You can get anything. 166 00:07:11,001 --> 00:07:12,021 I've been offered trips to Aspen, 167 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,010 weekends in Paris, 168 00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:15,996 Christmas in St. Barts. 169 00:07:16,006 --> 00:07:17,006 A motorcycle, 170 00:07:17,023 --> 00:07:18,023 juicer. 171 00:07:19,001 --> 00:07:21,011 It's not like models don't have brains. 172 00:07:22,001 --> 00:07:23,011 They have them. 173 00:07:23,018 --> 00:07:25,018 They just don't need to use them. 174 00:07:25,022 --> 00:07:27,012 Most guys just think you're dumb, 175 00:07:27,007 --> 00:07:28,017 but I'm really very literary. 176 00:07:28,021 --> 00:07:30,001 I read. 177 00:07:30,003 --> 00:07:32,003 I'll sit down and I'll read a whole magazine 178 00:07:32,003 --> 00:07:33,003 from cover to cover. 179 00:07:33,005 --> 00:07:34,015 Some scuba gear. 180 00:07:37,002 --> 00:07:38,012 A Herb Ritts photo. 181 00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:42,012 A Bvlgari necklace. A breast job. 182 00:07:42,010 --> 00:07:44,010 My friends think I'm shallow. 183 00:07:44,015 --> 00:07:45,995 Sometimes I think they're right. 184 00:07:46,011 --> 00:07:47,021 Other times, I think, 185 00:07:47,018 --> 00:07:50,018 "Hey, I'm fucking a model." 186 00:07:50,021 --> 00:07:54,011 Models are a lot looser than you think. 187 00:07:54,023 --> 00:07:57,023 It's way easier to screw a model than a regular girl 188 00:07:57,023 --> 00:07:59,023 'cause that's what they do all the time. 189 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,010 It's how regular people are when they're on vacation. 190 00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:05,014 Barkley, a notorious modelizer, 191 00:08:05,010 --> 00:08:07,000 was one of those SoHo wonders 192 00:08:07,004 --> 00:08:09,004 who maintained a fabulous lifestyle, 193 00:08:09,004 --> 00:08:12,004 despite never having sold a single painting. 194 00:08:12,002 --> 00:08:14,022 So you're saying it's easy to meet them? 195 00:08:14,018 --> 00:08:16,008 No, it's not so easy. 196 00:08:16,014 --> 00:08:19,024 The trick is, you gotta treat them like they're regular girls. 197 00:08:19,021 --> 00:08:21,011 You gotta be able to roll into a place, 198 00:08:21,016 --> 00:08:23,006 walk up to the hottest thing there. 199 00:08:23,008 --> 00:08:24,008 Otherwise, you're finished. 200 00:08:24,013 --> 00:08:26,013 It's kind of like being around dogs. 201 00:08:26,012 --> 00:08:28,002 You gotta show no fear. 202 00:08:28,004 --> 00:08:29,014 Things? 203 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,008 You call them things? 204 00:08:31,007 --> 00:08:32,007 Yeah. 205 00:08:32,008 --> 00:08:33,008 Well, they are things. 206 00:08:33,014 --> 00:08:34,024 They're beautiful things, 207 00:08:35,001 --> 00:08:36,021 and that's what my life's about, you know? 208 00:08:38,022 --> 00:08:40,002 Beauty. 209 00:08:41,010 --> 00:08:43,010 Come here, I want to show you something. 210 00:08:47,011 --> 00:08:49,011 This is my real art, 211 00:08:49,015 --> 00:08:52,015 only I can't really show it to the public. 212 00:08:55,011 --> 00:08:56,021 Well, not yet at least. 213 00:08:56,019 --> 00:08:57,019 Sit down. 214 00:09:06,001 --> 00:09:07,021 That's Vanessa. 215 00:09:08,013 --> 00:09:09,023 That's Tanya, 216 00:09:10,012 --> 00:09:11,022 Elana, 217 00:09:11,021 --> 00:09:13,011 Katrina. 218 00:09:14,001 --> 00:09:15,021 I couldn't believe it. 219 00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:18,000 The man had slept with half the perfume ads 220 00:09:18,006 --> 00:09:19,016 in September's Vogue . 221 00:09:23,003 --> 00:09:24,003 Do they-- 222 00:09:24,005 --> 00:09:25,015 do they know about this? 223 00:09:26,018 --> 00:09:27,008 Maybe. 224 00:09:27,016 --> 00:09:29,016 Oh, look at that one. 225 00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:32,020 She does runway now, 226 00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:35,011 but I think she's gonna be huge someday. 227 00:09:35,013 --> 00:09:37,013 I didn't know what to say. 228 00:09:37,008 --> 00:09:39,008 There really wasn't anything to say except... 229 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,010 Do you have a light? 230 00:09:42,013 --> 00:09:44,013 Yeah, sure. 231 00:09:50,022 --> 00:09:53,022 Later that day, I was relieved to discover 232 00:09:54,001 --> 00:09:55,021 that at least one eligible bachelor 233 00:09:55,022 --> 00:09:58,002 got his kicks off the runway. 234 00:09:58,004 --> 00:10:00,004 So I totally dig your friend, Miranda. 235 00:10:00,006 --> 00:10:01,006 You're kidding. That's great! 236 00:10:01,011 --> 00:10:04,001 Yeah, I think she is so sexy and smart, 237 00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:06,023 and did she tell you that we made out? 238 00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:07,020 No. 239 00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:09,010 Yeah, it was totally hot. 240 00:10:09,017 --> 00:10:13,997 Wow. So why don't you call her? You should call her. 241 00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:15,024 -She would love that. -I did, like 100 times. 242 00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:17,011 She totally won't return my phone calls. 243 00:10:17,015 --> 00:10:20,005 I don't know. Did she say anything about me? 244 00:10:20,021 --> 00:10:21,021 No. 245 00:10:22,001 --> 00:10:23,021 I don't know, maybe she's just busy, 246 00:10:23,021 --> 00:10:26,011 or I don't know, am I not cute enough for her? 247 00:10:26,010 --> 00:10:28,010 Of course, you are. Skipper, you're adorable. 248 00:10:28,009 --> 00:10:29,019 Well, I don't know. Find out for me. 249 00:10:30,001 --> 00:10:32,011 I want to see if I still have a chance. 250 00:10:33,013 --> 00:10:35,003 Right now, in front of you? 251 00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:36,022 Go ahead. I can handle it. 252 00:10:39,011 --> 00:10:42,001 Hi, this is Miranda. Please leave me a message. 253 00:10:42,003 --> 00:10:43,013 Oh, it's her machine. 254 00:10:44,012 --> 00:10:45,022 Hey, this is Skipper. 255 00:10:45,023 --> 00:10:47,013 I'm in the street with Carrie. 256 00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:49,013 I just told her how you won't call me back. 257 00:10:49,008 --> 00:10:51,008 So now you have to call me back. 258 00:10:51,014 --> 00:10:53,004 You better call me back! 259 00:10:53,002 --> 00:10:55,022 No, I'm kidding. I'm joking. 260 00:10:55,018 --> 00:10:57,998 Um, but seriously, I hope you call me back, 261 00:10:58,002 --> 00:11:01,012 and, um, did I mention this was Skipper? 262 00:11:03,006 --> 00:11:04,996 I believe there is a curse put on the head 263 00:11:05,006 --> 00:11:07,016 of anybody who tries to fix up their friends. 264 00:11:11,008 --> 00:11:14,008 Where better to find modelizers in their natural habitat 265 00:11:14,013 --> 00:11:15,023 than a fashion show? 266 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,020 Luckily, my friend Stanford Blatch 267 00:11:17,020 --> 00:11:20,000 had a client in the hottest show in town. 268 00:11:20,015 --> 00:11:23,015 "The Bone" is like the human equivalent of the sable coat. 269 00:11:23,022 --> 00:11:26,012 He's so beautiful that I find that sometimes 270 00:11:26,011 --> 00:11:27,021 I have to look away. 271 00:11:28,004 --> 00:11:29,004 Do you see him? 272 00:11:29,015 --> 00:11:30,015 Right over there. 273 00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:32,022 -Where? -Oh, my God, look at him. 274 00:11:32,020 --> 00:11:36,010 It's like he travels with his own personal lighting director. 275 00:11:36,013 --> 00:11:39,013 Derek, a.k.a. "The Bone," 276 00:11:39,010 --> 00:11:41,010 was the world's biggest underwear model 277 00:11:41,009 --> 00:11:43,009 and Stanford's most important client, 278 00:11:43,014 --> 00:11:46,024 as well as the subject of his single-minded obsession. 279 00:11:47,011 --> 00:11:48,011 Hey, Stanny. 280 00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:51,001 Um, Derek, I would like you to meet a very dear friend, 281 00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:52,003 Carrie Bradshaw. 282 00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:52,022 -Hi. -Hi. 283 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,000 Nice to meet you. 284 00:11:54,006 --> 00:11:55,996 Carrie writes the column "Sex in the City." 285 00:11:56,002 --> 00:11:57,002 Wow, that's great. 286 00:11:57,005 --> 00:11:59,005 -Oh, have you read it? -Uh, no. 287 00:11:59,007 --> 00:12:02,997 You know, the other day, Derek and I were walking past his billboard, 288 00:12:03,003 --> 00:12:05,013 and he told me he'd like to get a piece of it 289 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,016 for his apartment, like maybe his nose. 290 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,020 And I said, "You should get the bulge in your pants, 291 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,010 that way, when woman ask how big you are, 292 00:12:13,012 --> 00:12:15,002 you can say, '14 feet.'" 293 00:12:15,005 --> 00:12:16,005 That would be very funny, wouldn't it? 294 00:12:16,009 --> 00:12:17,019 Yeah. Yeah. 295 00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:19,000 Everybody's talking about you. 296 00:12:19,002 --> 00:12:20,012 You are so great. 297 00:12:20,016 --> 00:12:22,996 You're gonna be a star, have I told you that enough times? 298 00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:25,013 You're a star, you're a star, you're a star. 299 00:12:25,013 --> 00:12:27,013 Well, we better let you get dressed. 300 00:12:28,016 --> 00:12:29,016 I am dressed. 301 00:12:29,022 --> 00:12:30,022 Oh. 302 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,010 We'll, uh, see you after the show. 303 00:12:32,015 --> 00:12:33,015 Bye. 304 00:12:33,018 --> 00:12:34,998 Okay, bye. 305 00:12:35,003 --> 00:12:38,023 Can you believe anyone that beautiful can be that nice? 306 00:12:39,002 --> 00:12:41,012 I keep dreaming that someday he's just gonna turn around and say, 307 00:12:41,013 --> 00:12:43,003 "Stanford, I love you." 308 00:12:43,009 --> 00:12:44,009 Is he gay? 309 00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,024 He denies it. 310 00:12:45,019 --> 00:12:47,019 How can anyone that gorgeous be straight? 311 00:12:49,008 --> 00:12:50,018 Sweetie, over here! 312 00:12:50,023 --> 00:12:54,013 Samantha Jones never missed a major fashion show. 313 00:12:54,008 --> 00:12:55,018 She was one of the only people I knew 314 00:12:55,022 --> 00:12:57,022 who thought that proximity to beauty 315 00:12:57,021 --> 00:12:59,011 made her feel more attractive. 316 00:13:00,001 --> 00:13:01,021 Hey, sweetie, so wait, what happened? 317 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,020 You couldn't find seats right on the runway? 318 00:13:03,023 --> 00:13:06,013 Oh, you can see all the flaws from this angle. 319 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,000 Hey, Carrie. 320 00:13:16,011 --> 00:13:18,001 Hey! Hi, Barkley, how are you? 321 00:13:18,003 --> 00:13:19,013 You going to the party afterwards? 322 00:13:19,012 --> 00:13:20,022 Um, I don't know. 323 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,010 Of course we are. 324 00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:24,019 Hi, I'm Samantha. 325 00:13:24,021 --> 00:13:26,001 Barkley. 326 00:13:29,020 --> 00:13:32,010 Martini straight up or with a twist? 327 00:13:33,015 --> 00:13:34,995 Straight up. 328 00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:37,024 Really? He's very cute. 329 00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:38,017 You're not dating him, are you? 330 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,010 Oh, God, no, he's a total modelizer. 331 00:13:45,016 --> 00:13:48,996 Is he, uh, dating any one model in particular? 332 00:13:49,006 --> 00:13:53,006 Actually, he's sleeping with all of them in general. 333 00:13:54,006 --> 00:13:55,016 Only models? 334 00:13:55,019 --> 00:13:57,019 Only models. 335 00:14:15,002 --> 00:14:18,002 Later that night, we all went downtown for a party. 336 00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:23,000 I was beginning to float away on a sea of sweet potato puffs 337 00:14:23,002 --> 00:14:25,022 with smoked salmon and sour cream when... 338 00:14:27,010 --> 00:14:29,000 It was Mr. Big, 339 00:14:29,006 --> 00:14:32,016 major tycoon, major dream boat, 340 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,010 and majorly out of my league. 341 00:14:34,014 --> 00:14:36,004 I thought I saw you on the runway. 342 00:14:36,002 --> 00:14:38,012 Oh, hi. 343 00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:41,022 I started reading your column after we met. 344 00:14:42,008 --> 00:14:43,008 You did? 345 00:14:43,009 --> 00:14:45,009 Yeah, cute. 346 00:14:46,008 --> 00:14:47,008 "Cute." 347 00:14:47,014 --> 00:14:48,014 Well... 348 00:14:49,004 --> 00:14:50,024 Yeah, cute. 349 00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:52,010 What are you writing about this week? 350 00:14:52,008 --> 00:14:54,018 Um, well, I'm working on a story about... 351 00:14:55,009 --> 00:14:56,999 men who date models. 352 00:14:57,002 --> 00:14:58,002 Any thoughts? 353 00:14:58,016 --> 00:15:00,006 Only that they're very lucky. 354 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,020 So what have you discovered about these men 355 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,020 who are dating models? 356 00:15:06,023 --> 00:15:08,023 Well, I'm discovering 357 00:15:08,021 --> 00:15:12,011 that some of them treat it as a competitive sport, 358 00:15:12,015 --> 00:15:15,015 and others I think just need the validation. 359 00:15:15,020 --> 00:15:18,000 And probably others just have a thing 360 00:15:18,006 --> 00:15:19,996 for exceptionally beautiful women. 361 00:15:20,012 --> 00:15:21,012 Exactly. 362 00:15:22,002 --> 00:15:24,012 And there's something wrong with that? 363 00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:25,017 No, there's nothing wrong. 364 00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:28,999 I just think it might become a bit monotonous. 365 00:15:30,003 --> 00:15:31,013 Puff? 366 00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:33,020 Um, no, thanks. 367 00:15:33,017 --> 00:15:34,017 Oh! Excuse me, baby. 368 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:39,010 So where do you, uh, write these stories? 369 00:15:39,014 --> 00:15:40,024 My cute stories? 370 00:15:40,021 --> 00:15:42,011 Yeah, I mean have you got an office or anything? 371 00:15:42,015 --> 00:15:45,005 No. Well, about half the time I'm at my apartment, 372 00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:48,002 and the other half I'm over at this coffee shop 373 00:15:48,005 --> 00:15:49,015 on 73rd and Madison. 374 00:15:50,001 --> 00:15:52,011 Oh, uh, Carrie, I'd like you to meet Misha. 375 00:15:52,021 --> 00:15:54,021 Oh, hi. 376 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,001 You were great in the show. 377 00:15:56,003 --> 00:15:57,013 Thank you. 378 00:15:57,015 --> 00:15:59,995 Suddenly, I felt like I was wearing patchouli 379 00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:01,022 in a room full of Chanel. 380 00:16:02,006 --> 00:16:03,016 Well, it was nice talking to you. 381 00:16:04,001 --> 00:16:06,001 Oh, see you around sometime... 382 00:16:06,010 --> 00:16:08,020 I hope. 383 00:16:08,022 --> 00:16:11,022 The truth was, I thought I had come to terms with my looks 384 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,010 the year I turned 30, 385 00:16:13,011 --> 00:16:15,021 when I realized that I no longer had the energy 386 00:16:15,019 --> 00:16:17,009 to be completely superficial. 387 00:16:17,013 --> 00:16:18,023 Your friend Barkley, 388 00:16:18,023 --> 00:16:20,023 he's really been coming on to me. 389 00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:22,021 Do you actually think he believes I'm a model? 390 00:16:22,021 --> 00:16:25,001 Well, whatever it is, you don't want to go there. 391 00:16:25,005 --> 00:16:26,005 Why not? 392 00:16:26,014 --> 00:16:30,014 He has this thing for secretly taping his conquests. 393 00:16:30,016 --> 00:16:32,006 -Really? -Mm-hmm. 394 00:16:32,014 --> 00:16:34,004 What a pervert. 395 00:16:36,006 --> 00:16:38,016 As Samantha began to get ready for her close-up, 396 00:16:39,001 --> 00:16:41,011 I felt it was time to call it a night. 397 00:16:43,012 --> 00:16:46,012 I had never felt so invisible in my entire life. 398 00:16:46,008 --> 00:16:47,008 Taxi! 399 00:16:52,005 --> 00:16:53,005 Carrie. 400 00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:54,020 Hey! Hi! 401 00:16:54,022 --> 00:16:56,012 Did, um, did Stanford leave? 402 00:16:56,014 --> 00:16:59,014 No, he's in there giving a neck massage to a Versace model. 403 00:16:59,011 --> 00:17:00,011 Oh. 404 00:17:00,009 --> 00:17:01,009 So where are you going now? 405 00:17:01,014 --> 00:17:02,024 Oh, I'm going home. 406 00:17:02,023 --> 00:17:04,003 Can I come? 407 00:17:04,015 --> 00:17:05,995 You want to come home with me? 408 00:17:06,002 --> 00:17:07,012 Sure, if it's quiet. 409 00:17:07,016 --> 00:17:08,996 I can't take these crowds. 410 00:17:13,023 --> 00:17:16,023 The things you gotta do in the name of research. 411 00:17:22,020 --> 00:17:24,010 Shouldn't you be spending the night 412 00:17:24,013 --> 00:17:26,013 with some girl from the show? 413 00:17:27,001 --> 00:17:28,011 No, I never date models. 414 00:17:28,021 --> 00:17:30,021 I think they're stupid. 415 00:17:30,020 --> 00:17:34,010 I wondered if there wasn't some kind of physics for beauty. 416 00:17:34,013 --> 00:17:36,013 Maybe two models repelled, 417 00:17:36,009 --> 00:17:39,019 Maybe models could only be attracted to ordinary humans. 418 00:17:42,016 --> 00:17:45,006 So, I think it's so cool that you write. 419 00:17:45,015 --> 00:17:46,015 Thanks. 420 00:17:47,004 --> 00:17:48,014 I wish I could write. 421 00:17:48,012 --> 00:17:50,002 I got all these intense thoughts, 422 00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:51,012 but I can't keep them in my head long enough 423 00:17:51,015 --> 00:17:52,995 to get them down on paper. 424 00:17:53,002 --> 00:17:55,022 Well, that's the big trick. 425 00:17:55,023 --> 00:17:57,023 The truth is, I'm totally neurotic. 426 00:17:58,004 --> 00:18:01,014 One minute, I can be walking down the street, totally cool, 427 00:18:02,004 --> 00:18:04,014 and the next minute I'm depressed for no reason. 428 00:18:05,007 --> 00:18:06,017 I'm totally self-conscious. 429 00:18:06,019 --> 00:18:09,019 Like before I say something, I say it in my head first 430 00:18:09,018 --> 00:18:11,008 so it doesn't come out wrong. 431 00:18:13,006 --> 00:18:14,996 Doesn't that seem like a waste of time? 432 00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:17,006 It only takes a second. 433 00:18:21,003 --> 00:18:23,013 And sometimes I get so distracted. 434 00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:25,008 What's distracting you now? 435 00:18:25,010 --> 00:18:26,010 Your nose. 436 00:18:26,010 --> 00:18:27,020 Thanks a lot. 437 00:18:27,021 --> 00:18:30,021 -I hate my nose. -No, it's just so cute. 438 00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:32,011 I hate my nose, too. 439 00:18:32,009 --> 00:18:35,009 It's too big, but I think it depends on my hair. 440 00:18:35,012 --> 00:18:36,022 Yeah... 441 00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:39,997 I see what you mean. 442 00:18:40,008 --> 00:18:41,018 So what do you want to be when you grow up? 443 00:18:42,001 --> 00:18:45,021 Oh, well, I think this might be it. 444 00:18:47,003 --> 00:18:48,023 What do you want to be when you grow up? 445 00:18:48,017 --> 00:18:51,007 I'd like to move back to Iowa and have kids, 446 00:18:51,015 --> 00:18:52,015 and be a cop. 447 00:18:56,003 --> 00:18:58,023 I felt like I was in my bedroom when I was 16, 448 00:18:58,023 --> 00:19:01,023 and I used to hang out with this guy who was really beautiful 449 00:19:01,023 --> 00:19:03,013 and my parents thought I was helping him 450 00:19:03,012 --> 00:19:04,022 with his chemistry homework. 451 00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:07,008 Do you mind if we just lie here? 452 00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,011 I get so lonely in the city. 453 00:19:10,005 --> 00:19:12,005 Sometimes it's just nice to lie with someone. 454 00:19:13,014 --> 00:19:14,024 Sure. 455 00:19:16,005 --> 00:19:18,005 We could do that. 456 00:19:18,015 --> 00:19:21,005 It was hard to imagine that anyone so beautiful 457 00:19:21,015 --> 00:19:23,005 could ever be lonely. 458 00:19:25,014 --> 00:19:28,004 Meanwhile, somewhere below 14th street, 459 00:19:28,003 --> 00:19:29,013 two ordinary Joes 460 00:19:29,013 --> 00:19:31,023 were doing their own lonely late-night thing. 461 00:19:31,018 --> 00:19:32,018 Anything else, miss? 462 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:33,020 No, that's it. 463 00:19:33,022 --> 00:19:35,002 Just cat food? 464 00:19:35,003 --> 00:19:36,023 Yes, just cat food. 465 00:19:37,012 --> 00:19:38,012 Hey. 466 00:19:39,008 --> 00:19:40,018 Oh, hi, Skipper. 467 00:19:41,003 --> 00:19:44,013 So like, um, how come you haven't been returning any of my calls? 468 00:19:44,010 --> 00:19:46,020 I'm sorry, it's been a really busy week. 469 00:19:47,004 --> 00:19:48,024 I thought we had a connection. 470 00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:50,021 Oh, I don't know. 471 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,010 Could I get my change? 472 00:19:52,013 --> 00:19:54,023 You mean you get that way with every guy that you're with? 473 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,010 No, it's just... 474 00:19:59,012 --> 00:20:02,012 Don't you want to go out with a girl your own age? 475 00:20:02,007 --> 00:20:03,997 It's got nothing to do with age. 476 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:07,023 I-- I think you're luminous. 477 00:20:08,020 --> 00:20:10,000 You think I'm luminous? 478 00:20:10,002 --> 00:20:11,002 Totally. 479 00:20:12,019 --> 00:20:14,019 Miranda couldn't resist the vision of herself 480 00:20:15,001 --> 00:20:17,021 reflected in Skipper's slightly smudged lenses. 481 00:20:20,005 --> 00:20:21,995 All right, let's get out of here. 482 00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:24,023 Okay, yeah, let me just pay for my Cap'n Crunch . 483 00:20:25,008 --> 00:20:27,008 There's cereal at my place. 484 00:20:27,023 --> 00:20:29,003 Oh. 485 00:20:34,014 --> 00:20:37,024 And Samantha found the ultimate validation, 486 00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:39,010 sex with Barkley. 487 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,010 So, uh... 488 00:20:41,020 --> 00:20:44,000 Where is it? 489 00:20:45,006 --> 00:20:46,006 What? 490 00:20:46,023 --> 00:20:48,003 The camera. 491 00:20:49,023 --> 00:20:51,013 Your friend Carrie tell you about that? 492 00:20:51,015 --> 00:20:52,015 Uh-huh. 493 00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:55,002 Don't worry, I only tape models. 494 00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,010 I won't mind. 495 00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,010 Fine, I'll make an exception. 496 00:21:14,007 --> 00:21:16,997 Samantha demanded nothing less than the same consideration 497 00:21:17,005 --> 00:21:19,005 given every other model in town. 498 00:21:27,013 --> 00:21:28,023 Hello. 499 00:21:28,017 --> 00:21:30,007 Carrie, it's Stanford. 500 00:21:30,015 --> 00:21:33,015 Do you have any idea what happened to Derek last night? 501 00:21:33,020 --> 00:21:35,010 Actually, 502 00:21:35,007 --> 00:21:37,007 you'll never believe it, but... 503 00:21:37,007 --> 00:21:38,007 Yes? 504 00:21:39,023 --> 00:21:41,013 It's Stanford. 505 00:21:46,003 --> 00:21:47,003 Hi, Stanford. 506 00:21:47,015 --> 00:21:49,005 Uh, uh, Derek? 507 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,020 Could you put Carrie back on the phone? 508 00:21:52,001 --> 00:21:53,001 Sure. 509 00:21:56,012 --> 00:21:57,012 Hello. 510 00:21:57,014 --> 00:21:59,004 How could you? 511 00:21:59,009 --> 00:22:00,019 I didn't. 512 00:22:00,022 --> 00:22:02,012 We just talked. 513 00:22:02,016 --> 00:22:04,016 Oh, I knew he was gay. 514 00:22:11,015 --> 00:22:13,015 It's amazing what you'll do to be with these models. 515 00:22:14,005 --> 00:22:15,015 I've got to retire soon. 516 00:22:16,002 --> 00:22:17,022 They keep me from getting work done. 517 00:22:17,023 --> 00:22:19,013 They make me fuck up my life. 518 00:22:19,015 --> 00:22:20,015 Look at me! 519 00:22:20,023 --> 00:22:22,023 I'm an old man at 34! 520 00:22:27,006 --> 00:22:29,006 I began to realize that being beautiful 521 00:22:29,016 --> 00:22:32,996 is like having a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park, 522 00:22:33,003 --> 00:22:35,023 completely unfair, and usually bestowed 523 00:22:35,019 --> 00:22:37,019 upon those who deserve it least. 524 00:22:38,006 --> 00:22:40,006 I'm not interrupting your work, am I? 525 00:22:40,015 --> 00:22:42,015 Hey, what a surprise. 526 00:22:42,019 --> 00:22:44,009 I can't stay. I'm late for a meeting, 527 00:22:44,015 --> 00:22:46,015 but I've been thinking about that article you're writing, 528 00:22:47,001 --> 00:22:48,011 about men who date models. 529 00:22:48,011 --> 00:22:50,001 Yeah, what about them? 530 00:22:50,003 --> 00:22:51,013 First of all, 531 00:22:51,019 --> 00:22:54,019 there are so many goddamn gorgeous women out there in this city. 532 00:22:55,011 --> 00:22:57,011 What an amazing observation. 533 00:22:59,010 --> 00:23:01,000 But the thing is this, 534 00:23:01,021 --> 00:23:03,001 after a while, 535 00:23:03,019 --> 00:23:06,009 you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh. 536 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,010 Know what I mean? 537 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:16,020 Okay. 538 00:23:17,017 --> 00:23:18,017 See ya. 539 00:23:29,008 --> 00:23:30,018 I take that back... 540 00:23:30,018 --> 00:23:33,008 beauty is fleeting, 541 00:23:33,009 --> 00:23:35,019 but a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park 542 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,000 is forever.