1 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,364 Last night my friend Miranda got invited to a dinner party... 2 00:01:08,432 --> 00:01:10,286 by a man she hardly knew. 3 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,509 She was the date of Nick Waxler... 4 00:01:13,585 --> 00:01:18,058 a fairly successful sports agent who once told her she had nice legs. 5 00:01:18,129 --> 00:01:19,503 Okay. 6 00:01:19,569 --> 00:01:24,206 Old movie stars you'd have liked to fuck when they were young. 7 00:01:24,273 --> 00:01:25,679 Alive or dead? 8 00:01:25,745 --> 00:01:27,719 It doesn't matter. I'll start. 9 00:01:27,793 --> 00:01:31,470 Veronica Lake, the year she made Sullivan's Travels. 10 00:01:31,537 --> 00:01:33,031 Dave? 11 00:01:34,001 --> 00:01:36,237 I'd have to say Sophia Loren. 12 00:01:36,306 --> 00:01:38,411 Probably 'cause my dad had this thing for her. 13 00:01:38,482 --> 00:01:41,100 We won't go there. Montgomery Clift. 14 00:01:41,170 --> 00:01:43,024 - He was gay. - Oh. 15 00:01:43,090 --> 00:01:45,740 Marilyn Monroe, before the Kennedys got to her. 16 00:01:45,810 --> 00:01:48,493 - Honey? - Bing Crosby. 17 00:01:48,562 --> 00:01:51,212 I stand by my choice. 18 00:01:51,282 --> 00:01:53,104 Sean Connery. 19 00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:56,236 Yesterday, today and tomorrow. 20 00:01:56,306 --> 00:02:00,648 For a first date, Miranda felt like she was hitting it out of the ballpark. 21 00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,148 Thanks. 22 00:02:03,219 --> 00:02:05,586 So how long have you known Nick? 23 00:02:05,651 --> 00:02:08,717 We've been riding the same elevator line for years... 24 00:02:08,787 --> 00:02:10,794 and then we had lunch a few weeks ago... 25 00:02:10,867 --> 00:02:12,906 and then he invited me here to dinner. 26 00:02:12,979 --> 00:02:16,361 - Well, we adore him. - He's very smart. 27 00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:19,632 - Guess he took our ultimatum seriously. - Deanne. 28 00:02:21,236 --> 00:02:22,926 What are you talking about? 29 00:02:22,996 --> 00:02:26,574 They told Miranda that Nick had this thing for models. 30 00:02:26,644 --> 00:02:29,905 Old movie stars you'd have liked to fuck when they were young. 31 00:02:29,972 --> 00:02:34,314 I'll start. Veronica Lake, the year she made Sullivan's Travels. 32 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:37,006 - Dave? - I'd have to go with Sophia Loren. 33 00:02:37,076 --> 00:02:39,661 Probably. My dad had a thing for her. 34 00:02:39,733 --> 00:02:42,515 - Montgomery Clift. - Marilyn Monroe. 35 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:44,106 Bing Crosby. 36 00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:46,859 Yvette? 37 00:02:48,309 --> 00:02:50,862 I don't know. Charlie Sheen? 38 00:02:50,933 --> 00:02:52,787 They'd come to dinner... 39 00:02:52,853 --> 00:02:55,984 push their food around and pout. 40 00:02:56,054 --> 00:02:57,264 Veronica Lake. 41 00:02:57,333 --> 00:02:59,634 - Sophia Loren. - Montgomery Clift. 42 00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:00,977 Marilyn Monroe. 43 00:03:01,046 --> 00:03:02,639 Bing Crosby. 44 00:03:02,710 --> 00:03:04,236 Marissa? 45 00:03:15,351 --> 00:03:19,028 She had to make a phone call. 46 00:03:19,095 --> 00:03:22,837 It got to be a problem. They decided to take action. 47 00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:26,644 Can't you find a woman who can carry on a decent conversation? 48 00:03:26,711 --> 00:03:29,580 Yeah, Nick. And eat without purging. 49 00:03:29,655 --> 00:03:31,029 What are you saying? 50 00:03:31,095 --> 00:03:33,778 You can't bring around any more of these so-called models. 51 00:03:33,848 --> 00:03:36,269 It's too depressing. 52 00:03:36,343 --> 00:03:40,304 Okay, okay. I'll see what I can do. 53 00:03:40,375 --> 00:03:42,065 And then he brought you. 54 00:03:42,136 --> 00:03:45,267 - So obviously not a model. - In a good way! 55 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,432 Nick dates models? 56 00:03:55,128 --> 00:03:58,575 Miranda confronted him, and it didn't take him long to fold. 57 00:03:58,649 --> 00:04:01,813 It's true. It's true, okay? I'm obsessed. 58 00:04:01,881 --> 00:04:03,855 - Obsessed with models. - Correct. 59 00:04:03,928 --> 00:04:06,645 So what am I? Your intellectual beard for the evening? 60 00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:08,306 Don't be pissed, all right? 61 00:04:08,377 --> 00:04:10,962 You gotta admit, you met some nice people. 62 00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:14,164 You had a good time. Okay? 63 00:04:15,449 --> 00:04:17,303 You were on a date with a modelizer... 64 00:04:17,369 --> 00:04:19,223 and you didn't even know it? 65 00:04:19,289 --> 00:04:23,086 If men like Nick are dating models, what chance do ordinary women have? 66 00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:26,129 Do you have to be a supermodel to get a date in New York? 67 00:04:27,098 --> 00:04:29,203 Modelizers are a particular breed. 68 00:04:29,274 --> 00:04:31,412 They're a step beyond womanizers... 69 00:04:31,482 --> 00:04:34,165 who will sleep with just about anything in a skirt. 70 00:04:34,235 --> 00:04:38,009 Modelizers are obsessed not with women, but with models... 71 00:04:38,075 --> 00:04:41,872 who in most cities are safely confined to billboards and magazines... 72 00:04:41,947 --> 00:04:44,980 but in Manhattan, actually run wild on the streets... 73 00:04:45,050 --> 00:04:47,919 turning the city into a virtual Model Country Safari... 74 00:04:47,995 --> 00:04:50,809 where men can pet the creatures in their natural habitat. 75 00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:53,493 As if we didn't have enough problems. 76 00:04:54,683 --> 00:04:57,170 They're stupid and lazy and should be shot on sight. 77 00:04:57,243 --> 00:04:58,672 I've been out with lots of guys... 78 00:04:58,747 --> 00:05:01,561 and they say I am just as beautiful as a model, but I work for a living. 79 00:05:01,627 --> 00:05:03,056 I'm like, well... 80 00:05:03,132 --> 00:05:05,303 I'm like a model who's taken the high road. 81 00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:08,720 The advantages given to models and to beautiful women in general... 82 00:05:08,796 --> 00:05:10,650 are so unfair, it makes me puke. 83 00:05:10,716 --> 00:05:14,163 - Sweetheart, you are so cute. - Cute doesn't cut it in this town. 84 00:05:14,236 --> 00:05:16,789 What's cute compared to supermodel? 85 00:05:16,860 --> 00:05:20,242 There's nothing like raising the subject of models among four single women... 86 00:05:20,317 --> 00:05:22,935 to spice up an otherwise dull Tuesday night. 87 00:05:23,004 --> 00:05:25,305 They have this distant, sexy look. 88 00:05:25,372 --> 00:05:27,226 That's not sexy, it's starvation. 89 00:05:27,292 --> 00:05:29,495 That's starvation in the best restaurants. 90 00:05:29,564 --> 00:05:31,222 What I wanna know is... 91 00:05:31,293 --> 00:05:33,714 when did all the men get together and decide... 92 00:05:33,789 --> 00:05:36,953 that they would only get it up for giraffes with big breasts? 93 00:05:37,021 --> 00:05:41,560 In some cultures, heavy women with mustaches are considered beautiful. 94 00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:43,484 You're looking at me while you're saying that? 95 00:05:43,550 --> 00:05:45,524 We should just admit that we live in a culture... 96 00:05:45,597 --> 00:05:47,571 that promotes impossible standards of beauty. 97 00:05:47,646 --> 00:05:49,947 - Except men think they're possible. - Yeah. 98 00:05:50,014 --> 00:05:52,731 No matter how good I feel about myself... 99 00:05:52,798 --> 00:05:55,165 if I see Christy Turlington, I just wanna give up. 100 00:05:55,231 --> 00:05:59,421 I wanna force-feed her lard, but that's the difference between you and me. 101 00:05:59,486 --> 00:06:01,340 What are you talking about? 102 00:06:01,406 --> 00:06:04,024 Look at you two. You're beautiful. 103 00:06:04,094 --> 00:06:06,712 - I hate my thighs. - Oh, come on. 104 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:10,973 I can't even open a magazine without thinking, "thighs, thighs, thighs." 105 00:06:11,039 --> 00:06:13,013 I'll take your thighs and raise you a chin. 106 00:06:13,087 --> 00:06:15,029 I'll take your chin and raise you a... 107 00:06:19,359 --> 00:06:20,569 What? 108 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:22,298 Oh, come on. 109 00:06:22,367 --> 00:06:24,505 I happen to love the way I look. 110 00:06:24,576 --> 00:06:26,169 You should. You paid enough for it. 111 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,898 Hey, I resent that. 112 00:06:27,968 --> 00:06:31,415 I do not believe in plastic surgery. Well, not yet. 113 00:06:31,488 --> 00:06:36,343 I find it fascinating that four beautiful flesh and blood women... 114 00:06:36,416 --> 00:06:38,455 could be intimidated by some unreal fantasy. 115 00:06:38,529 --> 00:06:40,765 I mean, look. Look at this. 116 00:06:40,832 --> 00:06:43,614 Is this really intimidating to any of you? 117 00:06:43,681 --> 00:06:45,917 - I hate my thighs. - Pass the chicken. 118 00:06:45,984 --> 00:06:48,056 I have that dress. 119 00:06:48,129 --> 00:06:49,503 Suddenly I was interested. 120 00:06:49,569 --> 00:06:52,569 If models could cause otherwise rational individuals... 121 00:06:52,641 --> 00:06:56,470 to crumble in their presence, exactly how powerful was beauty? 122 00:06:56,545 --> 00:06:59,392 There are two types of guys that fall for beautiful women. 123 00:06:59,457 --> 00:07:01,944 Either they're slime-balls that are just out to get laid... 124 00:07:02,018 --> 00:07:04,385 or they fall in love with you instantly. It's pathetic. 125 00:07:04,450 --> 00:07:06,424 Why fuck the girl in the skirt... 126 00:07:06,497 --> 00:07:09,912 if you can fuck the girl in the ad for the skirt? 127 00:07:09,986 --> 00:07:13,302 Being beautiful is such a power. You can get whatever you want. 128 00:07:13,378 --> 00:07:14,555 You can get anything. 129 00:07:14,626 --> 00:07:17,921 I've been offered trips to Aspen, weekends in Paris... 130 00:07:17,986 --> 00:07:19,512 Christmas in St. Barts. 131 00:07:19,586 --> 00:07:22,236 A motorcycle, a juicer. 132 00:07:22,306 --> 00:07:25,023 It's not like models don't have brains. 133 00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:28,887 They have them. They just don't need to use them. 134 00:07:28,963 --> 00:07:32,891 Most guys just think you're dumb, but I'm really very literary. I read. 135 00:07:32,962 --> 00:07:35,776 I'll sit down and read a whole magazine from cover to cover. 136 00:07:35,843 --> 00:07:37,599 Some scuba gear... 137 00:07:39,491 --> 00:07:41,378 a Herb Ritt's photo. 138 00:07:41,444 --> 00:07:44,575 A Bulgari necklace, a breast job. 139 00:07:44,643 --> 00:07:48,472 My friends think I'm shallow. Sometimes I think they're right. 140 00:07:48,548 --> 00:07:52,803 Other times I think, "Hey, I'm fucking a model." 141 00:07:52,867 --> 00:07:56,641 Models are a lot looser than you think. 142 00:07:56,708 --> 00:07:59,522 It's way easier to screw a model than a regular girl... 143 00:07:59,588 --> 00:08:01,530 'cause that's what they do all the time. 144 00:08:01,605 --> 00:08:04,125 It's how regular people are when they're on vacation. 145 00:08:04,196 --> 00:08:06,716 Barkley, a notorious modelizer... 146 00:08:06,789 --> 00:08:10,236 was one of those SoHo wonders who maintained a fabulous lifestyle... 147 00:08:10,308 --> 00:08:13,242 despite never having sold a single painting. 148 00:08:13,317 --> 00:08:15,651 So you're saying it's easy to meet them? 149 00:08:15,717 --> 00:08:17,604 No, it's not so easy. 150 00:08:17,669 --> 00:08:20,636 The trick is, you gotta treat them like they're regular girls. 151 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:23,742 You gotta be able to roll into a place, walk up to the hottest thing there. 152 00:08:23,813 --> 00:08:26,879 Otherwise you're finished. It's kind of like being around dogs. 153 00:08:26,950 --> 00:08:29,600 - You gotta show no fear. - Things? 154 00:08:29,670 --> 00:08:31,426 You call them things? 155 00:08:31,494 --> 00:08:33,795 Yeah. Well, they are things. 156 00:08:33,862 --> 00:08:36,611 They're beautiful things. And that's what my life's about. 157 00:08:38,854 --> 00:08:40,315 Beauty. 158 00:08:41,382 --> 00:08:43,935 Come here. I want to show you something. 159 00:08:47,079 --> 00:08:49,151 This is my real art... 160 00:08:49,222 --> 00:08:52,320 only I can't really show it to the public. 161 00:08:54,695 --> 00:08:57,248 Well, not yet, at least. Sit down. 162 00:09:04,839 --> 00:09:08,384 That's Vanessa. That's Tanya. 163 00:09:08,455 --> 00:09:10,342 Elana. 164 00:09:10,408 --> 00:09:12,546 Katrina. 165 00:09:12,616 --> 00:09:14,306 I couldn't believe it. 166 00:09:14,375 --> 00:09:18,172 The man had slept with half the perfume ads in September's Vogue. 167 00:09:22,184 --> 00:09:24,573 Do they know about this? 168 00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:25,575 Maybe. 169 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,647 Oh, look at that one. 170 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,736 She does runway now, but I think she's gonna be huge someday. 171 00:09:32,809 --> 00:09:36,835 I didn't know what to say. There really wasn't anything to say except... 172 00:09:38,409 --> 00:09:40,263 Do you have a light? 173 00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:41,703 Sure. 174 00:09:48,073 --> 00:09:50,855 Later that day I was relieved to discover... 175 00:09:50,922 --> 00:09:54,784 that at least one eligible bachelor got his kicks off the runway. 176 00:09:54,858 --> 00:09:57,989 - So I totally dig your friend Miranda. - That's great. 177 00:09:58,058 --> 00:10:01,538 Yeah, I think she is so sexy and smart and... 178 00:10:01,611 --> 00:10:04,032 - Did she tell you that we made out? - No. 179 00:10:04,106 --> 00:10:06,145 Yeah, it was totally hot. 180 00:10:07,371 --> 00:10:09,509 Why don't you call her? 181 00:10:09,579 --> 00:10:12,000 - You should call her. - I did, like a hundred times. 182 00:10:12,074 --> 00:10:16,514 She totally won't return my phone calls. Did she say anything about me? 183 00:10:18,059 --> 00:10:21,833 I don't know, maybe she's just busy. Am I not cute enough for her? 184 00:10:21,899 --> 00:10:23,938 Of course you are, Skipper. You're adorable. 185 00:10:24,011 --> 00:10:27,720 I don't know. Find out for me. I wanna see if I still have a chance. 186 00:10:28,907 --> 00:10:32,354 - Right now, in front of you? - I can handle it. 187 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:36,772 Hi, this is Miranda. Please leave me a message. 188 00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:39,233 Oh, it's her machine. 189 00:10:39,307 --> 00:10:42,056 Hey, this is Skipper. I'm in the street with Carrie. 190 00:10:42,124 --> 00:10:43,946 I just told her how you won't call me back. 191 00:10:44,012 --> 00:10:47,557 So now you have to call me back. You better call me back! 192 00:10:47,629 --> 00:10:50,084 No, I'm kidding. I'm joking. 193 00:10:50,157 --> 00:10:53,899 But seriously, I hope you call me back and... 194 00:10:53,964 --> 00:10:56,353 did I mention this was Skipper? 195 00:10:57,421 --> 00:10:59,842 I believe there is a curse put on the head of anybody... 196 00:10:59,917 --> 00:11:02,055 who tries to fix up their friends. 197 00:11:05,133 --> 00:11:09,443 Where better to find modelizers in their natural habitat than a fashion show? 198 00:11:09,518 --> 00:11:13,958 Luckily, my friend Stanford Blatch had a client in the hottest show in town. 199 00:11:14,029 --> 00:11:17,127 "The Bone" is like the human equivalent of the sable coat. 200 00:11:17,198 --> 00:11:21,224 He's so beautiful that I find that sometimes I have to look away. 201 00:11:21,294 --> 00:11:23,749 - Do you see him? - Right over there. 202 00:11:23,822 --> 00:11:25,731 - Where? - Look at him. 203 00:11:25,806 --> 00:11:28,424 It's like he travels with his own personal lighting director. 204 00:11:29,263 --> 00:11:32,012 Derek, a.k.a. "The Bone"... 205 00:11:32,078 --> 00:11:36,039 was the world's biggest underwear model and Stanford's most important client... 206 00:11:36,110 --> 00:11:39,110 as well as the subject of his single-minded obsession. 207 00:11:39,182 --> 00:11:41,124 Hey, Stanny. 208 00:11:41,199 --> 00:11:44,908 Derek, I would like you to meet a very dear friend, Carrie Bradshaw. 209 00:11:44,975 --> 00:11:47,877 - Nice to meet you. - Carrie writes "Sex And The City." 210 00:11:47,951 --> 00:11:50,285 - Wow, that's great. - Have you read it? 211 00:11:51,887 --> 00:11:54,854 The other day, Derek and I were walking past his billboard... 212 00:11:54,928 --> 00:11:57,862 and he told me he'd like to get a piece of it for his apartment... 213 00:11:57,935 --> 00:11:59,461 like maybe his nose. 214 00:11:59,536 --> 00:12:02,253 And I said, "You should get the bulge in your pants. 215 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:05,997 That way when women ask how big you are, you can say, 'Fourteen feet'." 216 00:12:06,064 --> 00:12:08,813 - That would be funny, wouldn't it? - Yeah. 217 00:12:08,881 --> 00:12:11,434 Everybody's talking about you. You are so great. 218 00:12:11,505 --> 00:12:14,025 You're gonna be a star. Have I told you that enough? 219 00:12:14,097 --> 00:12:16,584 You're a star! You're a star! 220 00:12:16,657 --> 00:12:19,952 - We'd better let you get dressed. - I am dressed. 221 00:12:21,361 --> 00:12:23,499 - We'll see you after the show. - Bye. 222 00:12:25,553 --> 00:12:29,131 Can you believe anyone that beautiful can be that nice? 223 00:12:29,202 --> 00:12:33,358 I keep dreaming that someday he's gonna say, "Stanford, I love you." 224 00:12:33,425 --> 00:12:35,530 - Is he gay? - He denies it. 225 00:12:35,602 --> 00:12:37,991 How could anyone that gorgeous be straight? 226 00:12:39,122 --> 00:12:40,583 Sweetie, over here! 227 00:12:40,658 --> 00:12:43,505 Samantha Jones never missed a major fashion show. 228 00:12:43,570 --> 00:12:47,017 She was one of the only people I knew who thought that proximity to beauty... 229 00:12:47,091 --> 00:12:49,458 made her feel more attractive. 230 00:12:49,522 --> 00:12:53,002 Hey, sweetie, what happened? You couldn't find seats right on the runway? 231 00:12:53,074 --> 00:12:55,561 Oh, you can see all the flaws from this angle. 232 00:13:03,955 --> 00:13:06,475 - Hey, Carrie. - Barkley, how are you? 233 00:13:06,547 --> 00:13:09,329 - You going to the party afterwards? - I don't know. 234 00:13:09,395 --> 00:13:13,006 Of course we are. Hi. I'm Samantha. 235 00:13:13,075 --> 00:13:14,504 Barkley. 236 00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:21,416 Martini straight up or with a twist? 237 00:13:21,492 --> 00:13:22,866 Straight up. 238 00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:25,449 Really? He's very cute. 239 00:13:25,524 --> 00:13:26,898 You're not dating him? 240 00:13:26,964 --> 00:13:28,906 God, no. He's a total modelizer. 241 00:13:33,332 --> 00:13:36,943 Is he dating any one model in particular? 242 00:13:37,013 --> 00:13:41,486 Actually, he's sleeping with all of them in general. 243 00:13:41,557 --> 00:13:44,306 - Only models? - Only models. 244 00:14:01,558 --> 00:14:04,307 Later that night we all went downtown for a party. 245 00:14:05,974 --> 00:14:09,040 I was beginning to float away on a sea of sweet potato puffs... 246 00:14:09,110 --> 00:14:12,110 with smoked salmon and sour cream when... 247 00:14:13,174 --> 00:14:16,589 It was Mr. Big: Major tycoon... 248 00:14:16,663 --> 00:14:19,979 major dream boat, and majorly out of my league. 249 00:14:20,055 --> 00:14:22,389 I thought I saw you on the runway. 250 00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,469 Hi. 251 00:14:24,535 --> 00:14:27,349 I started reading your column after we met. 252 00:14:27,415 --> 00:14:28,909 - You did? - Yeah. 253 00:14:28,983 --> 00:14:30,543 Cute. 254 00:14:30,615 --> 00:14:32,437 Cute? 255 00:14:32,503 --> 00:14:35,470 Well... Yeah, cute. 256 00:14:35,543 --> 00:14:37,397 What are you writing about this week? 257 00:14:37,463 --> 00:14:41,456 Well, I'm working on a story about men who date models. 258 00:14:41,528 --> 00:14:44,462 - Any thoughts? - Only that they're very lucky. 259 00:14:45,431 --> 00:14:48,016 So what have you discovered about these men... 260 00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:50,990 who are dating models? 261 00:14:51,064 --> 00:14:53,911 Well, I'm discovering that... 262 00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:56,496 some of them treat it as a competitive sport... 263 00:14:56,568 --> 00:14:59,601 and others I think just need the validation. 264 00:14:59,673 --> 00:15:03,350 And probably others just have a thing for exceptionally beautiful women. 265 00:15:04,057 --> 00:15:05,463 Exactly. 266 00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:07,601 And there's something wrong with that? 267 00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:09,647 There's nothing wrong. 268 00:15:09,721 --> 00:15:12,535 I just think it might become a bit monotonous. 269 00:15:13,689 --> 00:15:15,860 Puff? 270 00:15:15,929 --> 00:15:17,816 - No, thanks. - Excuse me. 271 00:15:17,881 --> 00:15:19,823 So where do you... 272 00:15:19,897 --> 00:15:23,639 - Where do you write these stories? - My cute stories? 273 00:15:23,706 --> 00:15:26,226 Have you got an office or anything? 274 00:15:26,298 --> 00:15:29,080 About half the time I'm at my apartment, and the other half... 275 00:15:29,146 --> 00:15:32,441 I'm over at this coffee shop on 73rd and Madison. 276 00:15:32,506 --> 00:15:36,150 Oh, Carrie, I'd like you to meet Misha. 277 00:15:36,218 --> 00:15:39,731 - Hi. You were great in the show. - Thank you. 278 00:15:39,802 --> 00:15:42,191 Suddenly I felt like I was wearing patchouli... 279 00:15:42,267 --> 00:15:44,121 in a room full of Chanel. 280 00:15:44,187 --> 00:15:46,292 Well, it was nice talking to you. 281 00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:49,679 See you around sometime, I hope. 282 00:15:50,715 --> 00:15:54,806 I thought I had come to terms with my looks the year I turned 30... 283 00:15:54,875 --> 00:15:58,672 when I realized that I no longer had the energy to be completely superficial. 284 00:15:58,748 --> 00:16:02,064 Your friend Barkley, he's really been coming on to me. 285 00:16:02,139 --> 00:16:04,026 Do you actually think he believes I'm a model? 286 00:16:04,092 --> 00:16:07,223 - You don't want to go there. - Why not? 287 00:16:07,292 --> 00:16:11,350 He has this thing for secretly taping his conquests. 288 00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:13,045 Really? 289 00:16:13,116 --> 00:16:14,676 What a pervert. 290 00:16:16,925 --> 00:16:19,412 As Samantha began to get ready for her close-up... 291 00:16:19,484 --> 00:16:23,128 I felt it was time to call it a night. 292 00:16:23,197 --> 00:16:26,197 I had never felt so invisible in my entire life. 293 00:16:26,269 --> 00:16:27,795 Taxi! 294 00:16:31,933 --> 00:16:34,583 - Carrie. - Hey, hi. 295 00:16:34,653 --> 00:16:36,147 Did Stanford leave? 296 00:16:36,221 --> 00:16:38,871 No, he's in there giving a neck massage to a Versace model. 297 00:16:38,941 --> 00:16:40,828 So, where are you going now? 298 00:16:40,893 --> 00:16:43,096 - I'm going home. - Can I come? 299 00:16:43,902 --> 00:16:46,771 - You wanna come home with me? - Sure, if it's quiet. 300 00:16:46,846 --> 00:16:49,049 I can't take these crowds. 301 00:16:52,958 --> 00:16:55,892 The things you gotta do in the name of research. 302 00:17:01,503 --> 00:17:05,212 Shouldn't you be spending the night with some girl from the show? 303 00:17:05,279 --> 00:17:07,133 No, I never date models. 304 00:17:07,199 --> 00:17:09,053 I think they're stupid. 305 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:12,468 I wondered if there wasn't some kind of physics for beauty. 306 00:17:12,543 --> 00:17:14,485 Maybe two models repelled. 307 00:17:14,559 --> 00:17:17,875 Maybe models could only be attracted to ordinary humans. 308 00:17:20,479 --> 00:17:23,293 So, I think it's so cool that you write. 309 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:26,010 - Thanks. - I wish I could write. 310 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,982 I've got intense thoughts, but I can't keep them in my head long enough... 311 00:17:29,056 --> 00:17:31,543 to get them down on paper. 312 00:17:31,616 --> 00:17:33,176 That's the big trick. 313 00:17:33,248 --> 00:17:35,517 The truth is, I'm totally neurotic. 314 00:17:35,584 --> 00:17:39,097 One minute I can be walking down the street, totally cool... 315 00:17:39,168 --> 00:17:42,070 and the next minute I'm depressed for no reason. 316 00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:43,737 I'm totally self-conscious. 317 00:17:43,808 --> 00:17:47,834 Before I say something, I say it in my head first so it doesn't come out wrong. 318 00:17:49,665 --> 00:17:51,519 Doesn't that seem like a waste of time? 319 00:17:51,585 --> 00:17:53,756 It only takes a second. 320 00:17:57,378 --> 00:18:01,306 - And sometimes I get so distracted. - What's distracting you now? 321 00:18:01,378 --> 00:18:02,904 Your nose. 322 00:18:02,978 --> 00:18:05,563 Thanks a lot. I hate my nose. 323 00:18:05,633 --> 00:18:09,113 It's just so cute. I hate my nose too. It's too big. 324 00:18:09,186 --> 00:18:11,641 - But I think it depends on my hair. - Yeah. 325 00:18:14,146 --> 00:18:15,771 I see what you mean. 326 00:18:15,842 --> 00:18:18,395 So what do you want to be when you grow up? 327 00:18:18,466 --> 00:18:21,815 Well, I think this might be it. 328 00:18:21,891 --> 00:18:23,745 What do you want to be when you grow up? 329 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:28,088 I'd like to move back to Iowa and have kids and be a cop. 330 00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:33,532 I felt like I was in my bedroom when I was 16... 331 00:18:33,603 --> 00:18:36,253 and I used to hang out with this guy who was really beautiful... 332 00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:39,967 and my parents thought I was helping him with his chemistry homework. 333 00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:42,075 Do you mind if we just lie here? 334 00:18:42,148 --> 00:18:44,351 I get so Ionely in the city. 335 00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:47,453 Sometimes it's just nice to lie with someone. 336 00:18:47,523 --> 00:18:49,083 Sure. 337 00:18:50,116 --> 00:18:52,450 We could do that. 338 00:18:52,516 --> 00:18:55,418 It was hard to imagine that anyone so beautiful... 339 00:18:55,492 --> 00:18:58,045 could ever be Ionely. 340 00:18:59,140 --> 00:19:01,595 Meanwhile, somewhere below 14th Street... 341 00:19:01,668 --> 00:19:05,497 two ordinary joes were doing their own Ionely late-night thing. 342 00:19:05,572 --> 00:19:06,946 - Anything else? - That's it. 343 00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:10,242 - Just cat food? - Yes, just cat food. 344 00:19:12,229 --> 00:19:14,116 Oh, hi, Skipper. 345 00:19:14,181 --> 00:19:17,148 So like, how come you haven't been returning any of my calls? 346 00:19:17,222 --> 00:19:19,677 I'm sorry. It's been a really busy week. 347 00:19:19,750 --> 00:19:21,888 I thought we had a connection. 348 00:19:22,597 --> 00:19:24,986 I don't know. Could I get my change? 349 00:19:25,061 --> 00:19:27,264 You get that way with every guy that you're with? 350 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,700 No, it's just... 351 00:19:31,718 --> 00:19:34,303 Don't you wanna go out with a girl your own age? 352 00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:36,064 It's got nothing to do with age. 353 00:19:37,606 --> 00:19:39,296 I think you're luminous. 354 00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:43,101 - You think I'm luminous? - Totally. 355 00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:46,658 Miranda couldn't resist the vision of herself... 356 00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:49,028 reflected in Skipper's slightly smudged lenses. 357 00:19:51,527 --> 00:19:55,683 - All right, let's get out of here. - Let me just pay for my Cap'n Crunch. 358 00:19:56,391 --> 00:19:58,725 There's cereal at my place. 359 00:20:05,447 --> 00:20:08,349 And Samantha found the ultimate validation: 360 00:20:08,423 --> 00:20:10,277 Sex with Barkley. 361 00:20:10,344 --> 00:20:11,937 So... 362 00:20:13,767 --> 00:20:15,360 where is it? 363 00:20:15,432 --> 00:20:17,188 What? 364 00:20:17,256 --> 00:20:18,782 The camera. 365 00:20:20,168 --> 00:20:22,950 Your friend Carrie tell you about that? 366 00:20:23,016 --> 00:20:25,187 Don't worry. I only tape models. 367 00:20:27,624 --> 00:20:29,217 I won't mind. 368 00:20:30,921 --> 00:20:33,255 Fine. I'll make an exception. 369 00:20:43,497 --> 00:20:46,115 Samantha demanded nothing less than the same consideration... 370 00:20:46,186 --> 00:20:48,357 given every other model in town. 371 00:20:56,202 --> 00:20:59,136 - Hello? - Carrie, it's Stanford. 372 00:20:59,210 --> 00:21:01,992 Do you have any idea what happened to Derek last night? 373 00:21:02,058 --> 00:21:03,432 Actually... 374 00:21:03,498 --> 00:21:05,123 you'll never believe it, but... 375 00:21:05,195 --> 00:21:06,721 Yes? 376 00:21:08,011 --> 00:21:09,701 It's Stanford. 377 00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:17,513 - Hi, Stanford. - Derek? 378 00:21:17,579 --> 00:21:19,433 Could you put Carrie back on the phone? 379 00:21:19,499 --> 00:21:20,928 Sure. 380 00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:26,533 - Hello. - How could you? 381 00:21:26,603 --> 00:21:29,221 I didn't. We just talked. 382 00:21:30,252 --> 00:21:31,812 I knew he was gay. 383 00:21:38,540 --> 00:21:40,874 It's amazing what you'll do to be with these models. 384 00:21:40,940 --> 00:21:42,598 I've gotta retire soon. 385 00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:45,864 They keep me from getting work done, they make me fuck up my life. 386 00:21:45,932 --> 00:21:48,998 Look at me! I'm an old man at 34. 387 00:21:53,453 --> 00:21:55,624 I began to realize that being beautiful... 388 00:21:55,693 --> 00:21:58,857 is like having a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park: 389 00:21:58,925 --> 00:22:01,380 Completely unfair and usually bestowed... 390 00:22:01,453 --> 00:22:03,908 upon those who deserve it least. 391 00:22:03,981 --> 00:22:05,541 I'm not interrupting your work, am I? 392 00:22:05,613 --> 00:22:08,068 Hey, what a surprise. 393 00:22:08,142 --> 00:22:10,051 I can't stay. I'm late for a meeting. 394 00:22:10,126 --> 00:22:13,639 But I've been thinking about your article about men who date models. 395 00:22:13,710 --> 00:22:15,236 What about them? 396 00:22:15,310 --> 00:22:19,271 First of all, there are so many goddamn gorgeous women in this city. 397 00:22:20,366 --> 00:22:22,220 What an amazing observation. 398 00:22:24,046 --> 00:22:26,347 But the thing is this. 399 00:22:26,414 --> 00:22:28,486 After a while... 400 00:22:28,559 --> 00:22:32,137 you just wanna be with the one that makes you laugh. 401 00:22:32,207 --> 00:22:33,581 Know what I mean? 402 00:22:40,048 --> 00:22:42,698 Okay. See ya. 403 00:22:52,816 --> 00:22:54,190 I take that back. 404 00:22:54,255 --> 00:22:56,808 Beauty is fleeting... 405 00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:00,262 but a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the park is forever.