1
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:49,049
- Taxi!
2
00:00:51,635 --> 00:00:54,555
In autumn,
New Yorkers treat every nice day
3
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,306
as if it could be their last.
4
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,978
I'd have another if you would,
what do you say?
5
00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:02,854
You're a bad influence.
6
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,439
I waited and waited.
7
00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:06,149
You said to meet you
at the subway.
8
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:08,860
I was at the subway.
I was at the foot of the stairs.
9
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You was at the subway?
You was in the subway--
10
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,449
Oh, you don't know
how to give directions! I waited...
11
00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:17,035
-This is going to be us in 30 years.
-Please don't say that.
12
00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:20,747
-I'm kidding. That could never be us.
-That already was us, remember?
13
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Yeah, but that was then.
14
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:24,418
Okay, so for the future...
15
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,628
-...I don't want to become that.
16
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:29,381
Okay. I don't want you
to worry about becoming that.
17
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:30,507
Okay.
18
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,633
I won't.
19
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,802
-All right.
-Anything else we don't want?
20
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:36,555
Yeah. I don't want you paying
for these beers.
21
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,223
-I'm serious.
22
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:40,183
Your turn.
23
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,310
Okay.
24
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:44,605
-I don't want to become your mother.
-That's a good one.
25
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:47,274
I don't want to slack off
like I used to.
26
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:50,277
I don't want to be so moody.
This is fun.
27
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,279
I don't want to lose you again.
28
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,073
Even if I screw up all the other stuff,
29
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,117
that's the one that matters.
30
00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,661
I don't want to lose you either.
31
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,124
Will you marry me?
32
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:09,713
Are you serious?
33
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:12,716
Yes.
34
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:14,301
Will you?
35
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,386
Hell yeah.
36
00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:19,473
Some couples
have to say their I don'ts
37
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:22,184
before they can ever imagine
saying their I dos.
38
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,527
Eighty blocks and a world away,
39
00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:35,238
I was enjoying
a different kind of happy hour
40
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,532
at Aleksandr Petrovsky's.
41
00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:38,950
That's pretty. What is that?
42
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,955
-Oh.
43
00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:56,551
This is a little tune
I've made up for you.
44
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,720
-What?
-Mmm-hmm.
45
00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,181
-No, you didn't.
-Yes, I did.
46
00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:10,148
Which means "a woman with luminous
and shining, sparkling eyes."
47
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:27,499
That is the cheesiest thing
I have ever heard in my life. ick!
48
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:31,795
I know. I can't even look at you all
right now. I'm so embarrassed.
49
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:35,882
Well, it all sounds very old world
to me. Very 18th century Russia.
50
00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:38,719
Yes, and I live in
New York City circa now.
51
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,680
I think it's romantic if someone offers
me a seat on the subway.
52
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,265
That is romantic.
53
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:47,561
We are just starved for real romance
and that is the sad truth.
54
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:50,272
I'm not starved. Smith is in LA
for the week
55
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,733
and he calls me every night
before he goes to sleep.
56
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:53,859
Phone sex doesn't count.
57
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:56,153
Well, I'm drinking a glass of wine
while we do it.
58
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:59,030
I want to hear more about the romance.
What else? What else did he do?
59
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:03,952
Well, there was one more thing
but if you I tell you,
60
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,371
it will be the ick
heard round the world.
61
00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:07,497
It will not.
62
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:10,584
You know the song that he wrote for me?
63
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,002
Yeah. ick.
64
00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:14,212
Well, it had a name.
65
00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:22,387
The woman with eyes that...
66
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,222
Sparkle?
67
00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:26,725
-What's French for ick?
-Eyck!
68
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,393
And I swear to you
while he was playing it,
69
00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:30,687
I, I floated up out of my body
70
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:34,441
and I was on the ceiling looking down
at myself thinking...
71
00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,443
"Come on!"
72
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:39,821
He was just expressing genuine emotion
in an old fashioned way.
73
00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:41,907
But it's not genuine. It's pure show.
74
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,701
I can't stand all that
artificial hoo-ha.
75
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,330
That's why I proposed to Steve
over $3 beers.
76
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:52,876
You proposed?
77
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,420
You proposed marriage?
78
00:04:55,504 --> 00:05:00,008
Okay. Everybody stop.
It's not a big deal. I'm not engaged.
79
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:02,093
I'm not doing the big circus wedding.
80
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:05,472
There will be no white dress
or bridesmaids or posed pictures.
81
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,140
I hate all that shit.
82
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:11,561
Well, that's your choice.
Every bride has to find her own style.
83
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:13,855
When is it going to be?
84
00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:16,691
As soon as I can find some place
that doesn't make me hurl.
85
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:19,194
It's just going to be a simple,
nothing thing.
86
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,946
I don't even care about the wedding.
87
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,073
I just want to be with Steve.
88
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,950
-Oh, Miranda.
-Okay.
89
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,077
This is exactly what I don't want.
90
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:28,411
No tears.
91
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,579
Oh, my God.
92
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,206
I can't believe it.
93
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:33,166
That's it. You're all freaking me out.
94
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,754
Samantha, I expected more from you.
95
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:46,221
He just felt inspired to write her
a song and then he played it for her.
96
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:48,431
Isn't that the most romantic thing
you've ever heard?
97
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,141
Yeah. Not bad.
98
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,644
I used to play clarinet
when I was little.
99
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,855
This is so good! You have to have some.
100
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:58,149
Doesn't that taste like
real butter pecan?
101
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,361
Okay. If that's what
we're playing, sure.
102
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:04,030
I can pretend this whipped flavored
air is the real thing.
103
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,574
-Yum.
104
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,617
I mean, it's like something
out of a Victorian novel.
105
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,828
People just don't
do those things anymore.
106
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,746
Hey, I can be romantic too, you know.
107
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:14,165
Oh, honey, I know you can.
108
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:17,711
I think it's romantic that you walk me
to the Tasti D-Lite every night.
109
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,170
Don't humor me.
110
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:22,716
I know how to do romance right.
It's not just for foo-foo foreigners.
111
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:23,842
-In fact...
-Mmm.
112
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:27,679
In fact, I am going to take you out
for a real romantic night on the town.
113
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:30,390
Mmm-hmm. Wining and dining baby.
114
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,766
-Really?
-You bet.
115
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:33,727
Let me get another lick of that.
116
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,104
-Mmm.
-Okay.
117
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:40,066
I don't want to make a big entrance.
I don't want everyone staring at me.
118
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,985
And from licking to lugging...
119
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,321
I just want it to feel like us. Like...
120
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,907
Not like one of those
millions of cookie-cutter weddings
121
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,074
I've had to suffer through.
122
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,492
How do we do that?
123
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,495
What about one of those boat rides
that goes all around the island?
124
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:53,413
That's different.
125
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:54,623
We're not boat people.
126
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:56,917
When have we ever
been on a boat together, ever?
127
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,043
Okay.
128
00:06:58,376 --> 00:06:59,669
You got a better idea?
129
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:01,504
Shit!
130
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,131
Oh, shit.
131
00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:06,259
-Oh!
-This is so us. We are pathetic.
132
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:10,013
This gum is like super glue.
Look at this.
133
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:13,475
You see? We're bad people,
not boat people.
134
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:16,061
We should get married right here,
in this mess.
135
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:18,188
We're going to have to
if I can't get this gum off.
136
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:22,442
Hey.
137
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:24,361
That's a nice garden.
138
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,781
Yeah. It's pretty.
139
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:30,283
But not corny.
140
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,327
What do you think?
141
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:34,788
I don't hate it.
142
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:40,085
The only thing harder
than choosing a spot for your wedding
143
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,211
when you hate weddings...
144
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,337
What about a guestbook?
145
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:45,548
Is choosing a wedding gift
for your friend who hates weddings.
146
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,217
Sweetie, there's going to be
like eight of us there.
147
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,551
There's no one to keep track of.
148
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,388
I can't believe
Miranda's getting married.
149
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,599
-This is pretty.
-Oh, she'll hate that. Too domestic.
150
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:55,767
And too bridey.
151
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,978
Yeah. Let's try not to piss her off.
152
00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:01,064
Well, maybe we should just buy her
a stapler and wrap it in brown paper
153
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,649
and just smear some dog poo on it.
154
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,484
You think she'd be comfortable
with that?
155
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,613
Fine. We'll get the dish.
156
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,324
Ladies.
157
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,576
I have something to tell you.
158
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,620
And you're not going to like it.
159
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:19,040
If you get married and leave me
all alone, I will kill you.
160
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:22,502
As you know I have always loved my body
just the way it is.
161
00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:26,965
My legs are fantastic, I have
killer abs. My ass is perfection.
162
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:28,758
Is this the part
we're not going to like?
163
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,678
But I have decided
after careful consideration,
164
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,556
that I might be ready for bigger boobs.
165
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:36,975
Since when?
166
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:40,895
Since I had a cold hard dose of reality.
167
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:43,565
From this. Look.
168
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,442
You're in In Touch magazine?
169
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:48,069
-And that's your source of reality?
-Yes.
170
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:51,406
They named Smith Jerrod
the number one hot guy to watch.
171
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:54,492
They followed him all over town
for a week. I'm in half the pictures.
172
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:58,413
See. There are my boobs on Wednesday.
See how small they are?
173
00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:02,042
There they are again on Thursday.
Teeny tiny.
174
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:05,545
And there they are having lunch.
You can barely see them.
175
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,005
I should have bought my loop.
176
00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:10,091
I can't believe you would actually
consider having a boob job.
177
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,594
I can't believe
you went to Planet Hollywood.
178
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:17,057
You are a confident intelligent woman.
Why would you want to look like a bimbo?
179
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,684
I wouldn't be getting
the watermelon freak show kind.
180
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:22,187
I'd get something tasteful.
Something like...
181
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,522
Yours.
182
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:26,775
Yours are good.
183
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:28,526
-Mine?
-Hmm.
184
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:30,779
-Thank you.
-What's wrong with mine?
185
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:32,238
Well, they're not bad either.
186
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,741
-Let's see.
-Okay! All right.
187
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,284
-Get hers!
188
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:37,368
No.
189
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,955
A few days later the rain came.
190
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:42,874
Listen, you'll like this poem.
191
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:44,876
Poem?
192
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,711
And so did the poetry.
193
00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:49,130
"So long had a life together been
194
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,549
that once the snow began to fall
195
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,510
it seemed unending.
196
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:57,555
That least the flakes
should make her eyelids wince.
197
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,933
I chilled them with my hand
198
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:04,312
and they pretending not to believe that
cherishing of eyes would beat
199
00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:07,565
against my palm like butterflies."
200
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:11,611
Yeow.
201
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,197
That is some serious stuff.
202
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:15,698
Had enough, huh?
203
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:18,326
No. No, it's beautiful.
204
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:23,248
How about I read you a little bit
of my favorite poetry?
205
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:24,582
Please.
206
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:30,213
"Cocktails at Tiffany's
calls for classic charm.
207
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:35,051
Oscar de la Renta,
sleeveless silk faille.
208
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:39,889
Full skirted dress with black
patent leather bow belt."
209
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:45,186
Now that is pure poetry.
210
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,355
Oscar's a good friend of mine.
211
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:49,107
I'll tell him you like the dress.
212
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,358
Oscar?
213
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,653
You call him Oscar?
214
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:54,946
It's his name, isn't it?
215
00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,785
So you feel uncomfortable
with the poetry. Why is that?
216
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,081
Look. I'm sorry.
217
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:08,585
Perhaps we were not properly introduced.
218
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:11,462
I write a column based on the assumption
219
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:14,299
that romance is either dead or just...
220
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,926
-Phony.
-You think I'm phony?
221
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:21,890
No. No, no, not at all. No. I'm the one
that feels like a phony.
222
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:27,812
Frankly, I'm just not used
to these grand gestures.
223
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,106
You mean no other man, no one ever...
224
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,193
read you a little poem or...
225
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,196
played a little music for you?
226
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,323
Um...
227
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:40,742
No.
228
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,827
No, they have not.
229
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:44,704
Wow.
230
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:48,708
Okay.
231
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,967
I'm in over my head. Where are you?
232
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,261
Shopping for a wedding dress
on my lunch hour.
233
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:05,016
I said no white, no ivory.
No nothing that says virgin.
234
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,226
I have a child.
235
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:07,644
The jig is up.
236
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:13,066
Okay, so, yesterday the Russian read me
a Russian poem.
237
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:16,736
-But, you know, in English.
-Are you just making this stuff up now?
238
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:21,616
No. And this might sound crazy,
but I don't think it's an act.
239
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:24,535
I think he actually means it.
240
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,455
That doesn't make it okay.
241
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,499
Has he considered your feelings?
242
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,793
You're right. He's a selfish pig.
243
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,127
I'm serious.
244
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:37,298
I think you should tell him that this
whole romance thing gives you the icks,
245
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:41,094
turns your stomach and that
he's dating you, not Anna Karenina.
246
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,930
Okay, I'll tell him that.
I can't tell him that.
247
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:48,935
And let me ask you something.
If you're so anti-romance,
248
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,937
why are you having a wedding at all?
Why not just
249
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,731
go down to city hall
and get it over with?
250
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,608
You know, I thought about that.
251
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:59,988
But then I realized I actually do
want to say those vows out loud
252
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,448
to Steve in front of
the people I care about.
253
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,034
Are you gagging over there?
254
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,869
No, the opposite.
255
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:11,249
My God, Miranda,
you were my cynical touchstone.
256
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,460
Do you promise to still be cynical
even after you're married?
257
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:15,628
I do.
258
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:20,216
I have got to go. There's a big pile
of tutus coming at me.
259
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:23,803
Okay. We need to have another talk.
260
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:30,727
One of the great things
about living in New York City,
261
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,229
is that you don't have to
sugar coat your feelings.
262
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:38,067
But have New York women settled
for a sugar-free existence as well?
263
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,280
We accept Tasti D-Lite
instead of real ice cream,
264
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:44,657
e-mails instead of love songs,
265
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,826
jokes instead of poetry.
266
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:49,787
It's no wonder that when faced
with the real thing,
267
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,247
we can't stomach it.
268
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,584
Is it something
we could learn to digest or...
269
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:57,712
Have we become romance intolerant?
270
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:07,972
Et puis, for the troisième course,
we would like the foie gras,
271
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:12,226
followed by the boeuf bourguignon
avec la légume à la crème.
272
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,520
It was Harry's version
of a serenade.
273
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,105
And Charlotte ate it right up.
274
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,649
Et en fin, the plat du fromage.
275
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:21,778
The plate or the cart?
We have a lovely cheese cart.
276
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,571
Mais oui. Bring us the cart.
277
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,656
Tout suite for my sweetie.
278
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:29,243
I had no idea you could speak French
so well, honey.
279
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:31,621
The French learn romance from me, baby.
280
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,669
Downtown, in the name
of boob job research,
281
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:40,671
-Samantha decided to go...
-Yeah, nice.
282
00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,757
...where the biggest crop
would be on display.
283
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,009
Some were little boobs.
284
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:46,469
-That's okay.
-Not so bad.
285
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:48,763
Some were big boobs.
286
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,182
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
287
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,562
Some were
ridiculously big boobs.
288
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:57,688
Oh, boy.
289
00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:00,358
Okay,
that's my wife right there.
290
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:02,985
And then there were
the two biggest boobs of all.
291
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,279
-Right beside her.
-Wow!
292
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,663
Can I get you something?
293
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:18,042
You either have the most naturally
beautiful breasts I've ever seen
294
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,044
or I need the name of your doctor.
295
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:22,797
You want Dr. Bevel. He's the best.
296
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,882
They paid for themselves in tips alone.
297
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:31,389
Meanwhile,
back in the 18th century...
298
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:32,640
Oh.
299
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,394
I'm sorry. Is this a formal sleepover?
300
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,235
Actually there's an opening
at the Met tonight.
301
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,654
It's La Traviata,
and you're going with me.
302
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:52,076
Man, I was this close to throwing on
my ball gown but I ignored my instincts.
303
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,996
-All right, I'll go home and change?
-No, no, no, could be much faster.
304
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:56,747
Come in.
305
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,255
Come on, Open it.
306
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:22,732
Tonight only your poetry, not mine.
307
00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:25,651
From the magazine. You like it?
308
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,529
If I had been
on a romance-free diet,
309
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,865
this seemed like a good time to binge.
310
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:38,664
That was the most romantic, elegant...
311
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:44,003
Pardon me. That was weird.
312
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:47,965
Decadent...
313
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,843
-Seven course...
314
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,097
I'm sorry, honey.
315
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:58,309
-Oh, boy.
316
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:00,853
Are you okay?
317
00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:11,531
Honey?
318
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:13,741
Are you going to be long in there?
319
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:15,243
Uh, maybe.
320
00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:18,579
Oh, definitely. Why?
321
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,790
That's okay. I'll go to the other one.
322
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,459
When you splurge
on romantic, seven-course meal,
323
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:26,212
you generally
want to remember every bite.
324
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:29,173
There was the soup course,
the dessert course,
325
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:32,301
and all the other yummy courses
in between.
326
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,763
That's got to be it. I'm done.
327
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:40,184
Harry and Charlotte had romance
shooting out of them every 20 minutes.
328
00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:41,602
Oh, I'm not.
329
00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:43,271
For the rest of the night.
330
00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:46,232
I wouldn't go in there if I were you.
It's not pleasant.
331
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,067
I can't make it
to the other one.
332
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,902
It's the fucking fromage.
333
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,028
No.
334
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,698
That fucking fromage.
335
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:56,909
Uh-oh. Oh.
336
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,954
Oh. Look out. I'm coming in.
337
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,416
Surviving a night of
food poisoning together
338
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,376
wasn't the stuff of great romance,
339
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:08,129
but it was the stuff of lasting love.
340
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,966
-The show starts at 7:30.
-No, it's eight o'clock, we're fine.
341
00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:15,219
Meanwhile, a funny thing
happened on the way to the opera.
342
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,515
Wait, wait.
343
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:22,059
- What?
344
00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:24,937
This music. This place.
345
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,064
You.
346
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:30,443
Is it perfect?
347
00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:33,654
Would you dance with me?
348
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:42,913
It was
the most romantic moment.
349
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,291
Stop, stop.
350
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:46,751
- What?
- Oh, my God. That lady fell.
351
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,587
-Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Are you okay?
- Is she all right?
352
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:51,130
You okay?
353
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:55,551
No. It's too much.
354
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,887
I'm an American.
355
00:18:58,429 --> 00:19:00,681
You gotta take it down a notch.
356
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:03,184
- Does she need any help?
- No, he's got it.
357
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:08,022
And then a quarter of a pounder
with cheese.
358
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,190
Um...
359
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:10,441
McNuggets.
360
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,568
Would you like to super-size that?
361
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:15,780
-Can you handle it?
-Absolutely.
362
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,698
Absolutely.
363
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,036
I'm sorry about the opera.
364
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:25,790
Don't be silly. Other time. Other dress.
365
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:30,878
May I offer you a fry?
366
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:35,257
-They're French.
-Oh, then...
367
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:38,260
Here you are,
thank you.
368
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,012
Mmm...
369
00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:42,598
Mmm.
370
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:47,853
Okay.
371
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,981
I think I might be up
for a quick spin now.
372
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:53,526
If you'll still have me.
373
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,027
Of course.
374
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,575
That'll be $9.54.
375
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,627
And there,
beneath the florescent moonlight,
376
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:15,506
I was finally laughing with romance
and not at it.
377
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:21,762
And if I went any bigger than this,
I think I'd look ridiculous, don't you?
378
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:25,266
Well, that's not my work.
But I did hers.
379
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:27,393
And hers right before the Golden Globes.
380
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:28,894
Wow, they're winners.
381
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,396
Other arm, please.
382
00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:33,941
I have an event in two months
383
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,444
that I'd really like to have
a little cleavage for.
384
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,779
-Hmm.
-Will they be up and running by then?
385
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:41,365
Miss Jones, you have a lump
I'd like you to have checked out
386
00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:42,700
before we begin our work.
387
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,369
It's right here,
you can feel it yourself.
388
00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:46,871
Are you kidding?
389
00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:48,581
No, I'm afraid not.
390
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:51,125
Okay.
391
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:53,836
But it's not serious, right?
392
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:56,922
Well, it's probably just a cyst,
but we want to be absolutely sure.
393
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:59,550
I'd like you to have it looked at
as soon as possible, okay?
394
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:10,019
By Miranda's wedding day,
I felt the whole world had gone romantic
395
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,855
when Samantha insisted on
picking me up in a cab.
396
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:16,942
What has come over you?
This is 100 blocks out of your way.
397
00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:19,195
So, now we're going to
10th and 6th Avenue please.
398
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,197
-Boy, you look nice.
-Well, so do you.
399
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,323
Thank you.
400
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:26,702
So I had my breast consultation
with the plastic surgeon.
401
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:28,621
Please tell me you've changed your mind.
402
00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:31,332
Well, not exactly. He found a lump.
403
00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:34,668
And I had it biopsied,
and it turns out I have cancer.
404
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:35,836
You...
405
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:37,379
You what? When?
406
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,591
Well, I had it biopsied on Wednesday
and I found out yesterday.
407
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:42,468
I'm going to give you
all the information
408
00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:43,969
and I don't want you to get upset
409
00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:47,515
or start worrying and the only reason
I'm telling you now and not later
410
00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:50,643
is I didn't want to accidentally
blurt out, "I have cancer"
411
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:52,394
in the middle of Miranda's wedding.
412
00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:56,565
Could you please take fifth?
Broadway's a disaster.
413
00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:00,027
Okay. I'm listening.
414
00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:02,363
And please don't tell
Charlotte and Miranda.
415
00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:03,948
I don't want to ruin their days too.
416
00:22:04,031 --> 00:22:05,324
Of course, whatever you say.
417
00:22:06,784 --> 00:22:09,036
So, what exactly do you know?
418
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:11,747
Well, just that there are cancer cells
and I had a mammogram
419
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,874
and they think it's small
which is a good sign.
420
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:17,044
And I won't know anything else until
they take the fucker out next week.
421
00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:19,797
So there, now you know everything
and we can talk about something else.
422
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:24,927
So do you like my skunk?
423
00:22:28,097 --> 00:22:29,431
Well, thank you for telling me.
424
00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:30,599
Sure.
425
00:22:31,642 --> 00:22:34,353
I'm sorry to put a big cloud
over the whole day.
426
00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:37,273
-Samantha.
-I know I'm going to be fine.
427
00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:38,566
I know that.
428
00:22:39,108 --> 00:22:40,150
It's just...
429
00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:44,530
I don't want to lose my breasts.
430
00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:49,118
-They're fabulous.
-They are.
431
00:22:53,831 --> 00:22:56,625
- For better or worse.
- For richer or poorer.
432
00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:58,085
For richer or poorer.
433
00:22:58,419 --> 00:23:01,380
To love and to cherish
as long we both shall live.
434
00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:04,925
To love and to cherish for
as long we both shall live.
435
00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:08,804
- This is my solemn vow.
-This is my solemn vow.
436
00:23:09,263 --> 00:23:12,224
Now Miranda. I Miranda Hobbes.
437
00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:14,184
I Miranda Hobbes.
438
00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:17,938
- Take you, Steve Brady.
-Take you, Steve Brady.
439
00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:21,025
- To be my husband.
-To be my husband.
440
00:23:21,108 --> 00:23:23,777
Look, Mommy and Daddy
are getting married.
441
00:23:23,861 --> 00:23:26,697
- For richer or poorer.
-For richer or poorer.
442
00:23:26,780 --> 00:23:30,367
-In sickness and in health.
- In sickness and in health.
443
00:23:30,451 --> 00:23:33,662
To love and to cherish
as long as we both shall live.
444
00:23:33,746 --> 00:23:37,207
To love and to cherish
as long as we both shall live.
445
00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:40,461
This is my solemn vow.
This is my solemn vow.
446
00:23:40,544 --> 00:23:43,505
Do you promise to uphold these vows
you've made here today,
447
00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:46,133
witnessed by your closest friends
and family?
448
00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:49,637
-I do.
-I do.
449
00:23:50,721 --> 00:23:53,307
With the power invested in me
by the State of New York,
450
00:23:53,724 --> 00:23:56,685
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
451
00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:07,196
Come on, everybody,
it's happy time.
452
00:24:08,030 --> 00:24:10,282
It's happy time.
453
00:24:10,366 --> 00:24:13,911
-Come on. Come on, it's happy time.
454
00:24:17,581 --> 00:24:20,793
The one wedding ritual
Miranda never had a problem with
455
00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:24,171
was the part where everyone eats.
And so we did.
456
00:24:25,089 --> 00:24:26,840
Samantha, you look so pretty today.
457
00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:29,259
-Thanks. I have cancer.
-What?
458
00:24:29,343 --> 00:24:32,096
-Are you all okay with drinks?
-No, we're not okay with drinks.
459
00:24:32,179 --> 00:24:33,889
-Keep them coming.
-Cool.
460
00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:39,144
-I like the color of your dress.
-Oh, thank you.
461
00:24:39,228 --> 00:24:41,730
I admire you for not pretending.
462
00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:48,737
So we're family now and there's
something private I want to tell you.
463
00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:52,950
-Oh, you don't have to.
-The day I married Steve's father,
464
00:24:53,033 --> 00:24:54,368
I wore white.
465
00:24:55,077 --> 00:24:56,328
But I shouldn't have.
466
00:24:57,204 --> 00:24:58,288
I slipped.
467
00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:01,125
Once. God forgive me.
468
00:25:03,210 --> 00:25:04,753
Don't tell Steve.
469
00:25:05,838 --> 00:25:08,215
When I walked down that aisle
at St. Agnes,
470
00:25:08,716 --> 00:25:14,430
I had a white dress on, on the outside
and my little Jackie on the inside.
471
00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:24,565
Steve?
472
00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:28,277
Hey. Ma. Still hungry?
473
00:25:28,485 --> 00:25:30,154
Come on. Let's get some chow.
474
00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:36,702
Oh, my God. I am legally bound
to Steve's mother.
475
00:25:36,785 --> 00:25:38,245
-Hi again.
-Congratulations!
476
00:25:38,328 --> 00:25:39,371
Congratulations!
477
00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:44,251
What? Why are you being weird?
478
00:25:44,752 --> 00:25:47,421
-We're not being weird.
-No, we're just talking.
479
00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:48,964
About me, right?
480
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:51,633
You think I'm an asshole,
that I've become one of them.
481
00:25:51,717 --> 00:25:53,010
That I'm a Stepford bride.
482
00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:54,970
-No!
-God, no!
483
00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:56,805
Then tell me
what you were talking about.
484
00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:59,308
I'll tell you tomorrow.
I don't want to ruin your special day.
485
00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:04,521
Forget about my special fucking day
and be normal, please. I beg of you.
486
00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:10,569
I have breast cancer.
487
00:26:12,196 --> 00:26:13,781
-What?
-See?
488
00:26:14,114 --> 00:26:15,908
Now it's my special fucking day.
489
00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:19,411
You have breast cancer?
490
00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:21,789
Hey, no tears.
491
00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:23,582
Miranda,
492
00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:26,043
I expected more from you.
493
00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:28,921
See, this is what we were afraid of.
Go back to your people.
494
00:26:29,004 --> 00:26:30,506
We'll talk about this later.
495
00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:33,133
You are my people
and we'll talk about it now.
496
00:26:34,802 --> 00:26:36,136
Now start at the beginning.
497
00:26:36,220 --> 00:26:39,640
You are the bossiest bride in the world.
498
00:26:39,723 --> 00:26:42,351
Yes, I am, and you have to do
everything I say.
499
00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:43,644
Oh.
500
00:26:45,687 --> 00:26:46,814
Now start talking.
501
00:26:48,232 --> 00:26:51,860
Okay. Do you remember when I...
502
00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:53,612
For better or for worse,
503
00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:55,739
we were all ourselves that day.
504
00:26:58,033 --> 00:26:59,660
Just the way Miranda wanted it.