1
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:54,179
My career had reached
new heights, literally.
2
00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:57,558
An editor at New York Magazine
thought I would be the perfect person
3
00:00:57,641 --> 00:01:00,477
to write about the ultimate
challenge for swingers...
4
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:01,895
The flying trapeze.
5
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,106
Wouldn't you rather be at Jeffrey?
6
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,066
They're having a sale on stripes.
7
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:08,402
That's not supportive!
8
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,655
Step on up, good.
9
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:15,200
That's good, that's great.
Come around to my side.
10
00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:18,245
I'm gonna take off your climbing lines
11
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,080
and strap on your safety harness.
12
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,623
Yes, please strap on anything
13
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,208
that will keep me from
plummeting to my death.
14
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:26,169
Toes over the edge,
feet shoulder-width apart.
15
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,671
And just a little bit more.
16
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,299
That's good. Head up.
17
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:33,051
Now put your right hand
out in front of you.
18
00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:34,636
I've got you. Good.
19
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,846
Are you ready to grab the bar?
20
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,681
I'm ready to go to the bar.
21
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,933
-Does everyone say that?
-Pretty much.
22
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:41,852
Okay, hold the bar in one hand.
23
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,687
You're queen of the world!
24
00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:45,897
-You're queen of the world!
- Ha-ha.
25
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,191
All right, that's good.
26
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,402
Keep your head up, don't look down.
27
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:51,737
-Are you ready?
28
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,489
And... up.
29
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:56,617
Whoo!
30
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,414
Swing out, sister!
31
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,417
Two hours later, I was hooked.
32
00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:10,422
Stanny, are you watching?
I'm about to try a catch!
33
00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:13,383
Maybe you should quit
while you're a... live.
34
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,676
You can totally do this.
35
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,804
Just listen to me and trust me.
36
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,181
Up!
37
00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:23,185
All right, legs up.
38
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:26,229
Take your hands off and reach for me.
39
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,981
This time you got it.
40
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:29,900
Let go!
41
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,860
-Let go!
- No!
42
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,779
Ooh... No, no, no, no.
43
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,199
That day, I didn't get caught...
44
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,161
But Samantha's zipper did.
45
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:02,307
This is one of the frustrating
things about living alone.
46
00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:05,936
There's not always somebody
around to rip your clothes off.
47
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,322
Hey, Smith.
48
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,950
Want to come over and do me?
49
00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:23,286
What she meant was "undo" me.
50
00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,747
But two birds with one stone.
51
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,166
And in Central Park,
52
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:32,796
a photographer attempted to catch
two lovebirds sitting on a stone.
53
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:37,342
Honey, a little... a little less teeth,
just relax your lips.
54
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,636
Oh, no. Now you're squinting.
55
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,181
A lesser man might have told
Charlotte to take a flying leap,
56
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,642
but Harry loved her too much.
57
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,477
I thought the point was to look natural.
58
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,980
That's what I'm trying to get you to do.
59
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:54,443
Well, one might ask, how natural is it
to be sitting in Central Park in a suit?
60
00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,738
Honey, I read the wedding
section religiously
61
00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,489
and I know what they're looking for,
62
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,241
and not all pictures are selected.
63
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,993
And I really, really want there to be
64
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:06,371
a York-Goldenblatt announcement
of our wedding in The Sunday Times.
65
00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:09,291
So please, just, just
a little less teeth, just...
66
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:13,211
Charlotte York,
I cannot wait to marry you.
67
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,380
That's perfect, that's it!
68
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:16,715
I was having a moment!
69
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,884
Oh...
70
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:21,094
Ah, lipstick!
71
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:25,015
Wait, no, no, sorry.
No kissing pictures, it's tacky.
72
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,100
And speaking of tacky...
73
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:28,435
It's cute, huh?
74
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:31,229
Debbie bought it for him over
at the 6th Avenue Flea Market.
75
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:35,525
-Did you wash it first?
76
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,819
She also got something for you.
77
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,823
It's aromatherapy.
78
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,452
Oh. Huh.
79
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:47,412
You know, I was thinking,
80
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:51,249
maybe we should figure out a time
for the two of you to meet.
81
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,043
What? Why?
82
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,128
Well, she's around Brady,
83
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,088
and I know you're not
so comfortable with that--
84
00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:59,800
I'm completely comfortable.
I don't need to meet her.
85
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,760
I trust you.
86
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,763
She bought me a fucking candle.
87
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:09,684
And it was an aromatherapy candle,
for serenity and calm.
88
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:13,688
I was much more serene and calm
before the fucking candle.
89
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,941
"Women with candles
have replaced women with cats"
90
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,234
is the new sad thing.
91
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,320
Oh, and get this,
he thinks I should meet her.
92
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:23,156
I sense that he wants us
to become friends.
93
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,741
Oh, no, no, no, no, forget it.
94
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:27,619
You do not need to become
friends with the new girlfriend.
95
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:33,291
It's unnatural, uncomfortable, insincere
and rife with ulterior motives.
96
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:36,628
-Has this happened to you?
-No, I'm just being supportive.
97
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,338
But there is a baby involved.
98
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:41,424
Exactly. She's using Brady to get to me.
99
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,301
And I am not falling for it.
100
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:47,264
Oh, speaking of falling,
I tried the trapeze yesterday
101
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,765
for that piece that I'm writing--
102
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:49,891
I could never!
103
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:51,893
I have the most terrible
fear of heights.
104
00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:53,562
Well, I do not, you've seen my shoes.
105
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:55,981
So, did you fly through the air
with the greatest of ease?
106
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,483
At first, but then,
I couldn't do a catch.
107
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,777
All I had to do was let go
and reach for the guy,
108
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,321
who was very cute,
and I still couldn't do it.
109
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,532
You are insane
for getting into a harness
110
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,784
without even the hope of an orgasm.
111
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,160
Hello, ladies.
112
00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,495
Hi, honey.
113
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:12,163
- Hey, Harry.
-Hi, Howie.
114
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,206
Hi.
115
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,876
Everyone, this is Harry's
best man, Howie Halberstein,
116
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:17,335
-in from Portland.
-Hello.
117
00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,420
We're not crashing,
118
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,088
I'm just here to drop
off the photo-proofs...
119
00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:22,299
-...and the seating chart.
120
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,842
-We're gonna have a quick bite to eat...
-Right.
121
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,343
...and then I'm going
to take the place cards
122
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,137
-to the calligrapher.
-Oh.
123
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,097
And after that, if there's time,
we're gonna go around the corner
124
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,473
and try to find our balls.
125
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,561
Yes, Harry knows how
to show a guy a good time.
126
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,229
Howie, this is Samantha and Miranda.
127
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,147
-Hello.
-Hi.
128
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,940
And... Carrie.
129
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:40,483
-Hi.
-Hi, how are ya?
130
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,193
-Good.
-Good.
131
00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:45,488
Good guy. You two, I see it happening.
132
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:46,907
Shh. Shh.
133
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,034
Oh. Oh.
134
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,535
So, uh, Carrie?
135
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:53,413
I was thinking maybe you might
show Howie around a little later.
136
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:56,708
Unless Harry needs me
to ice a cake, or something.
137
00:06:56,791 --> 00:07:02,297
Well, um...
I'm... I... I'm kind of busy,
138
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:05,717
'cause I have to do
a flying trapeze thing.
139
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:08,511
That is so weird, because I have
a lion taming thing tomorrow,
140
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,013
so that's out for me.
141
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,682
But, you know,
if you change your mind...
142
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:15,393
I will give you my business card.
143
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:16,561
Okay.
144
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,605
-There you go.
-Thank you.
145
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,023
All my lines are on there.
146
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,566
-Okay.
-Call me any--
147
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,360
-I'll be waiting by the phone.
-Okay. Okay.
148
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,655
What's wrong with you?
149
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,990
He was funny and cute!
150
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:32,369
And in town for a week.
What's the point?
151
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,664
That is the point.
It's the best possible scenario,
152
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,582
because you know he's leaving.
153
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,584
But it's, it's like...
154
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:42,629
whatever happens,
there's an expiration date.
155
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,339
It's expiration dating.
156
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:46,216
It isn't dating. It's sex.
157
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,760
It's fun, it's a fling!
158
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:51,137
Oh, please, I'm too old for a fling.
159
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,973
I can barely do a swing.
160
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:55,684
And if you will excuse me,
I have to go home,
161
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:58,603
so I can write about the fact
that I couldn't do a catch.
162
00:07:58,687 --> 00:07:59,729
He is a catch.
163
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,690
You should do him!
164
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,567
When you're young,
165
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:07,153
your whole life is about
the pursuit of fun.
166
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,657
Then, you grow up
and learn to be cautious.
167
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,203
You could break a bone or a heart.
168
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:17,664
You look before you leap,
and sometimes you don't leap at all,
169
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,166
because there's not always
someone there to catch you.
170
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,753
And in life, there's no safety net.
171
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:29,217
When did it stop being fun
and start being scary?
172
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:33,304
I decided it was time
to leave fear behind
173
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,973
and have some fun.
174
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,605
Okay, legs up.
175
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:44,566
That's good.
176
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,984
Let go and reach for me.
177
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,902
I can't!
178
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:51,740
All right, this time let go!
179
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:55,201
I can't! I can't!
180
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:56,828
Don't tell me you can't.
181
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:59,164
I want nothing but lilies
on the chuppah!
182
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:00,498
The theme is Yentl chic!
183
00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:01,666
Don't forget the candles!
184
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,418
You think this is the first
wedding I ever planned?
185
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,045
Jesus Christ, you're worse than me!
186
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:06,880
We want candles, candles, candles!
187
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,841
And I don't want short, stubby,
little, broken-off dick candles.
188
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,968
I want long tapers.
189
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,929
-All right, call me right back!
- Ta-da!
190
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,475
-It's okay?
-Okay?
191
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,768
You're Audrey Hepburn...
192
00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:20,727
...owitz.
193
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,687
I'm so excited about this wedding.
194
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,023
We're gonna do everything
according to tradition.
195
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,983
We are going to smash the glass,
196
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,903
and the signing of the ketubah,
the hora...
197
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:33,239
Be careful, God forbid
you fall off the chair.
198
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:34,866
Oh, "the hora, the hora."
199
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,826
Well, maybe we won't do the chair thing.
200
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,828
You have to, that's the big finish!
201
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,623
Just remember when you're up there,
pretend you're having a good time,
202
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:44,000
hang on for dear life,
and for fuck's sake,
203
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,251
keep your legs together.
204
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,628
Nobody wants to see the bride's beaver.
205
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,964
Don't say that
in front of my dress.
206
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,968
Hello, York residence.
207
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:55,595
Yes, we have a minute.
208
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,013
It's the New York Times fact checker.
209
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,474
-Yes, Goldenblatt has two T's...
210
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:03,019
Sure, fax it over!
211
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:06,397
-We're in, we're in!
212
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:07,857
This calls for a hora!
213
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,071
Hey.
214
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,657
Oh my God,
what are you doing here?
215
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,034
Don't look at me, don't look at me!
216
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,536
Jesus Christ, Char, my ear.
217
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,204
You're not supposed
to see me in my dress.
218
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,706
This is bad luck, very bad luck.
219
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:26,876
Close your eyes, keep them closed!
220
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,087
Oh, no, this is so bad!
221
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,841
Are all brides like that?
222
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,134
That's nothing,
223
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:36,803
I once had a girl on Long Island
give herself a stroke.
224
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,514
She pulled it together
for the big day, though.
225
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,897
Hopefully I'll get
cell reception down in Mexico.
226
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,065
Uh-huh.
227
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,776
Samantha,
a fan of expiration dating,
228
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:55,363
was about to enjoy one of the benefits
of dating an actor...
229
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:57,198
Location, location, location.
230
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:59,033
It's gonna be cool
working with Gus Van Sant.
231
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,577
Uh-huh.
232
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,496
Here, let me...
233
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:09,085
I can't believe we don't get
to spend my last night together.
234
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,004
Are you dying?
235
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:14,174
-No.
-Then it's not your last night.
236
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,468
There.
237
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:20,680
I'm gonna miss you, Samantha.
238
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:24,058
Oh, save that performance
for Mr. Van Sant.
239
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:26,311
It's just two weeks.
240
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:27,562
-It's a long time!
-Mmm-hmm.
241
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:28,938
Would you get out of here already?
242
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,148
I'm late as it is.
243
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,692
Yeah, yeah.
244
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:33,902
And listen...
245
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:37,030
When you're on location,
don't do anything I wouldn't do.
246
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,325
-What does that rule out?
-Mmm, there are things...
247
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:45,872
-Karaoke, I don't do that.
248
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:54,255
He flies through the air,
With the greatest of ease
249
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:58,968
That daring young boy
On the flying trapeze
250
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,261
This is it.
251
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,055
It's a very nice building.
252
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,932
- Miranda!
253
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:05,308
I can't find my keys.
254
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,351
Magda...
255
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,478
- You still have keys?
-I'm not home.
256
00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:10,563
- Because of Brady.
-Do you understand?
257
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:15,902
I'm already at Charlotte's.
I am not home.
258
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,076
Is Miranda here?
259
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,994
She is not home.
260
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,163
Oh. Well, that's too bad.
261
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,374
I was really looking
forward to meeting her.
262
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,542
She is not home.
263
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:35,213
- Magda, this is Debbie.
- Nice to meet you.
264
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:39,300
All right, so we just need to
grab some things out of Brady's crib.
265
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:43,137
Last time I forgot Mr. Elephant
and Brady acted like a big baby.
266
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:44,305
Didn't you, B-boy?
267
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:47,558
He is a big baby.
268
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:54,607
But, uh...
I have not cleaned in room yet.
269
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,359
That's okay.
270
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,366
This is a nice room,
she has nice taste.
271
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,368
Yeah, I helped build the crib.
272
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:08,454
Really? Wow.
273
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:15,545
What's wrong, Brady,
did you drop your binky?
274
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,505
Where's your binky?
275
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,090
Oh. It's right there.
276
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:20,300
Oh.
277
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:25,054
Here you go,
Brady-licious.
278
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:28,308
Hey, wanna go to Blockbuster
and rent a tape or something?
279
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,893
Okay, but this time,
I get to pick.
280
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:34,689
- Bye.
- Bye, Magda.
281
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,325
There's a lot of dust down there.
282
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,243
You really should vacuum...
283
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:49,620
under...
284
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,878
That night,
we all gathered at Charlotte's
285
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,713
casual rehearsal dinner.
286
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:02,008
You're like a lint tray.
What's happening back here?
287
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,927
That Debbie is crazy.
288
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:08,222
She came to my apartment with Steve,
totally ambushed me.
289
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:10,558
I had to hide under
the bed to avoid them.
290
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,018
Seriously?
291
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,770
Maybe.
292
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:14,771
Well, did you see her?
293
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,731
Just her shoes and her nails.
294
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,483
-And...
-Both acrylic.
295
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:19,901
Mmm. You know what?
296
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,944
Maybe you should just meet her
and get it over with.
297
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,237
I don't want to meet her.
298
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:24,781
If I meet her, she's real,
299
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,325
and that means Steve
has an actual girlfriend.
300
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:31,037
Apparently, I wasn't
the only one who had trouble letting go.
301
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,373
Hey, what's happening there?
302
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:34,540
Oh, you know...
303
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:37,168
Bride, bride, bride, blah, blah, blah.
304
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:39,670
Hey, I just saw your fling
go into the bedroom.
305
00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:41,464
It's like shooting fish in a barrel.
306
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:42,382
Still, no.
307
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,508
Ooh!
308
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:47,011
-It's just casual sex.
-Nothing's casual anymore.
309
00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,013
Not even when it says so
on the invitation.
310
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,266
Just go in there and see what happens.
311
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:54,852
Worst comes to worst,
you can always hide under the bed.
312
00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:00,191
I decided they were right.
313
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:02,485
It was time to get back
in the swing of things.
314
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,535
- See ya later.
-See ya later, Howie.
315
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:13,287
Oh, hey. How are ya?
316
00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:17,708
Wow, this is kind of uncomfortable.
317
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,502
Look, would you please stop calling me?
318
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:23,172
I don't have time to chat.
I've got boutonnieres on my mind.
319
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,049
I'm sorry I never called.
320
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,093
I understand, you're busy.
That time of the year,
321
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:30,638
you know, final exams
for clown college... or something.
322
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,682
And what would that entail, you think?
323
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,518
You know, the seating
arrangements in the little car,
324
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:36,853
walking in the floppy shoes...
325
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,147
Squirting flower and nose application.
326
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,816
Continual pie-ing, the clown kissing.
327
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,651
Maybe I would have a fling.
328
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:46,654
After all, how bad could it be?
329
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:56,664
That night, Howie and I had sex
like we were teenagers again.
330
00:15:57,081 --> 00:16:00,168
Meaning, he had no idea
what he was doing,
331
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,420
and I didn't say anything.
332
00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:11,304
Meanwhile, Samantha
was banging around as well.
333
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:17,810
You have one new message.
334
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,106
Hey, I'm here. It's pretty cool.
335
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,150
Miss me yet?
336
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,279
That's the thing about
getting used to a man.
337
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:29,906
There's always a catch.
338
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:36,454
It's here! It's here!
339
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:39,874
Not just her wedding day,
but the New York Times.
340
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:46,297
Oh, my God.
341
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,050
I have a mustache.
342
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:52,136
It's an ink stain.
343
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:55,431
Hey, but look at me.
Now that, that is a terrific smile.
344
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,058
This is a nightmare!
345
00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,685
It's probably just our paper.
346
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,563
Anyway, who cares?
We're getting married today!
347
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,357
I look like Hitler.
348
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,151
I am having a Jewish wedding
and I look like Hitler.
349
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,444
Hello?
350
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,655
In your paper, do I have a mustache?
351
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,114
What?
352
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,951
In your wedding section,
does it look like I have a mustache?
353
00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:17,912
Oh, hang on a minute.
354
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:22,917
As I feared, my fling
had become a pain in the neck.
355
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,086
You do not look like Hitler.
356
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,964
The Frito Bandito, maybe...
357
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,174
The bad luck is starting already.
358
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:33,636
Hmm.
359
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:38,099
Yeah, there's a little something,
360
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,518
but maybe it's just my paper...
361
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,395
and your paper.
362
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:43,938
I have to go.
363
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,566
Clearly, Charlotte
was bent out of shape.
364
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:48,359
And so was I.
365
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:51,821
Come on, granny, I'll take you
to the early bird special.
366
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,323
Oh, God, don't make me laugh.
367
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,033
It hurts.
368
00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:58,536
Is this still from your days
as a Flying Wallenda?
369
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:03,499
Well, that's my official story,
and it's partially true, but...
370
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,002
this is a sex sprain.
371
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,380
-Good for you!
-No, it was not good for me.
372
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,007
It was jack rabbit sex.
373
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,092
You know, pow, pow, pow, pow
pow, pow, pow, pow.
374
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:15,094
Are straight men
still allowed to do that?
375
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,430
No, they aren't. It's bad.
376
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:20,891
It's basically masturbating with
a woman instead of your hand.
377
00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:22,226
I don't enjoy.
378
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,812
Carrie, you made it.
379
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,356
Oh, hi.
380
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,858
-I gotta go.
-Hi.
381
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,027
-The jack rabbit?
-Uh-huh.
382
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,404
-I better--
-Hop to it?
383
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:37,783
Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.
384
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,706
You look hot.
385
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,124
-Oh.
386
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:46,375
Thanks.
387
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:49,712
-Guess what?
-What?
388
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,298
I got a suite at the Mercer for later.
389
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:55,009
King-size bed, huge tub.
390
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,219
We can have breakfast before I leave,
391
00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:00,431
unless, of course,
we're busy doing something else, hmm?
392
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,434
Oh... yay!
393
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,895
-I don't know.
394
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:08,648
I'm pretty tired from last night.
395
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,858
Yeah, well, I'm only gonna
be in town for another day,
396
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,069
and I want to get to know you better.
397
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:17,281
Well, okay.
398
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:18,866
We'll see...
399
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:20,910
We'll see?
400
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:24,622
I know what "we'll see" means.
It means "see ya."
401
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:28,626
No, no, the thing is...
402
00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:33,464
You're just visiting, so I figured...
403
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:43,015
I... I figured it was
a one-night kind of thing.
404
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,726
Just fun.
405
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,605
Wow.
406
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:52,983
If I had known you were just using me,
407
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:55,277
I wouldn't have made love
to you like that.
408
00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:07,039
We are here today to celebrate
the union of two very special people,
409
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:09,834
Harry Goldenblatt and Charlotte York.
410
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:12,211
It's important for everyone here
411
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,880
to be a witness to this moment,
412
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:18,259
for the Jewish wedding ceremony
has two parts.
413
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:23,764
The first designates to
the community that the kallah,
414
00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:30,312
bride, and khatan, groom,
are for one another alone.
415
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,901
And the second part
gives them to one another.
416
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,237
-It's a gift...
417
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,489
...and a huge responsibility.
418
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,679
As one man slipped a ring on,
419
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:07,349
one woman was still trying
to slip a bracelet off.
420
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,771
Oh!
421
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,233
Ow! Ow! Ow!
422
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:19,779
Sorry, it's a back spasm, I'm sorry.
423
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:32,166
Ow.
424
00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:43,803
It seemed to Charlotte that
the wedding had gone from
425
00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:47,014
Jewish law to Murphy's law.
426
00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:52,102
Oh!
427
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:05,991
Mazel tov!
428
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:17,419
Hey, Charlotte, are you okay?
429
00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:19,213
This is a disaster.
430
00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:20,881
It's the worst wedding in history.
431
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:23,175
That's not true.
432
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:26,595
Although I only saw
most of it from here down.
433
00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:28,931
Harry never should have walked in on me
434
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,266
wearing my wedding dress.
435
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:33,018
-Now we're cursed.
-You're not cursed.
436
00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:35,104
You're married.
437
00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:37,481
You just got married!
438
00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:39,149
I know, but...
439
00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:41,277
I wanted everything to be perfect.
440
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,279
Okay, you have to stop with the tears.
441
00:22:44,113 --> 00:22:47,199
You already had the perfect
wedding and the marriage...
442
00:22:47,908 --> 00:22:49,285
Not so perfect.
443
00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:51,537
You know, I think this is a good sign.
444
00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:54,957
I think the worse the wedding,
the better the marriage.
445
00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:57,459
I have a stain on my dress.
446
00:22:57,543 --> 00:22:58,794
That's good!
447
00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:00,588
That's a good sign!
448
00:23:00,838 --> 00:23:03,090
You're just trying
to make me feel better.
449
00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:05,551
No, I'm trying to get you
to open your eyes,
450
00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:06,844
because you're missing it!
451
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:09,513
-What?
-Everything!
452
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,974
You're missing your wedding.
453
00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:15,102
You have a wonderful man who loves you,
454
00:23:15,686 --> 00:23:17,563
who will be there
to catch you when you fall.
455
00:23:17,646 --> 00:23:19,148
Do you know how special that is?
456
00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:22,484
I would love to find a man
who was strong enough to catch me.
457
00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:29,325
So, let's get to that reception
so you can fall in a cake or something.
458
00:23:31,327 --> 00:23:34,705
Okay. Oh, dear.
459
00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:36,457
So...
460
00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:37,374
Okay?
461
00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:39,335
Perfect, still. Of course.
462
00:23:40,336 --> 00:23:42,588
-Oh. Oh, Christ.
- Oh...
463
00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:44,590
-Oh, Christ.
464
00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:48,427
Best of luck to you. Best of luck.
465
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,180
Are you okay?
466
00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:52,306
Oh, yeah.
467
00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:54,516
I'm just feeling a little sad.
468
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,518
It was just so beautiful.
469
00:23:56,602 --> 00:23:57,686
The ceremony?
470
00:23:57,770 --> 00:23:59,104
My bracelet.
471
00:23:59,188 --> 00:24:00,731
Mm...
472
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:07,112
Ladies and gentlemen, can I have
your attention, please?
473
00:24:07,196 --> 00:24:08,530
Oh, God, it's time for the toast.
474
00:24:08,614 --> 00:24:10,324
Top me off, I'm next.
475
00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:12,993
I would like to raise a glass...
476
00:24:14,161 --> 00:24:16,413
to Harry and Charlotte,
477
00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:22,252
because they found each other,
despite all the bullshit.
478
00:24:22,336 --> 00:24:27,049
Huh? Hey, hey...
It's tough out there.
479
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,760
I mean, people don't care
like they used to.
480
00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:32,721
People leave you hanging.
481
00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:35,099
People...
482
00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:36,767
are a bitch.
483
00:24:37,935 --> 00:24:39,687
Is this a toast or a roast?
484
00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:41,313
So here's to love.
485
00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:46,986
And love means... never ever...
486
00:24:48,696 --> 00:24:50,030
having to say...
487
00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:54,243
You used me for sex!
488
00:24:56,245 --> 00:24:57,371
Thanks, Howie.
489
00:24:57,746 --> 00:24:58,789
That's nice.
490
00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:01,417
No, wait, hey, Mazel tov.
491
00:25:02,042 --> 00:25:04,586
It was a Mazel tov cocktail.
492
00:25:06,797 --> 00:25:10,342
Carrie said, "The worse the wedding,
the better the marriage."
493
00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:13,178
Well, then I think Howie
just got us to our silver.
494
00:25:17,474 --> 00:25:18,392
Hi.
495
00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:19,977
Um... Hello?
496
00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:22,104
Great. Um...
497
00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:30,154
I would like to congratulate
my very brave friend, Charlotte,
498
00:25:30,863 --> 00:25:32,406
who knows what she wants
499
00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:34,658
and who goes for it.
500
00:25:36,326 --> 00:25:38,037
Not everyone can do that,
501
00:25:39,747 --> 00:25:42,124
especially when it comes to love.
502
00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:48,922
Some of us can't even
say the words, but--
503
00:25:56,013 --> 00:25:59,183
Sorry, hon.
Good speech though.
504
00:26:00,517 --> 00:26:02,519
Maybe Miranda just got us to our gold.
505
00:26:04,313 --> 00:26:07,107
- Mazel tov!
506
00:26:44,853 --> 00:26:46,605
He's certainly acrobatic.
507
00:26:46,688 --> 00:26:50,818
Oh, yeah,
he's a regular "Jerk du Soleil."
508
00:26:54,154 --> 00:26:56,365
Do you think everyone
knows I slept with him?
509
00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:59,368
Yes. And they all think
you're a big "hora."
510
00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:08,502
I don't like this, I'm afraid...
511
00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:10,838
Of what?
What's the worst that could happen?
512
00:27:10,921 --> 00:27:12,214
We'll live happily ever after?
513
00:27:13,006 --> 00:27:14,049
Ho!
514
00:27:24,184 --> 00:27:26,186
And, of course,
this being a wedding,
515
00:27:26,270 --> 00:27:27,521
there was one more catch to go.
516
00:27:27,604 --> 00:27:31,525
Okay... Ooh... Who's ready
to catch the bouquet?
517
00:27:31,817 --> 00:27:33,068
Not me.
518
00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:37,364
I've lit myself on fire,
I showed emotion in public...
519
00:27:37,447 --> 00:27:38,740
I think I'm done.
520
00:27:38,949 --> 00:27:40,742
Oh, you were fabulous.
521
00:27:40,951 --> 00:27:42,703
I believe you mean "flammable."
522
00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:49,334
Okay, now you're done.
523
00:27:49,626 --> 00:27:51,378
It wasn't a perfect catch...
524
00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:01,763
And neither was mine.
525
00:28:03,265 --> 00:28:04,808
But I survived,
526
00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:07,269
because I have a good safety net.