1
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:54,346
New York City is a great place
to be engaged...
2
00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,268
Miss?
3
00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:02,729
Oh, I'm sorry, did you want this cab?
4
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:04,940
-Why, thank you.
-Sure.
5
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:12,614
and it's an even
better place to be enraged.
6
00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,325
Oh, you're so busy!
7
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,494
You're so busy!
8
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:26,461
Ah.
9
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,844
-Boy, do I have news.
-So do I.
10
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,680
I didn't want to say anything
until we were all together, but...
11
00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:40,309
Harry and I made up,
and he asked me to marry him.
12
00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:43,228
- Oh, wow!
-Oh, my God, congratulations!
13
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,396
Sweetie, that's great.
14
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:45,897
Look at that ring!
15
00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:48,066
I know, he had it made based on the one
16
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:50,152
that Richard Burton
gave Elizabeth Taylor.
17
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,738
Well, it is fabulous.
18
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:55,365
Even more fabulous than your first one.
19
00:01:57,909 --> 00:02:00,329
So, Carrie, what was your news?
20
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,998
Oh, Berger broke up
with me on a Post-it.
21
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:06,752
-On a Post-it?
-Uh-huh, uh-huh! Yep.
22
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,171
Read it and weep, my friends.
23
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:12,674
"I'm sorry, I can't, don't hate me."
24
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,385
The motherfucker's concise.
25
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,262
First of all, I thought you
were gonna break up with him.
26
00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:18,221
Yeah, I was.
27
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,390
And I should have,
but he said that he wanted
28
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,351
to try to "work things out,"
29
00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:26,271
AKA, leave in the middle of the night.
30
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,190
A Post-it, that's infuriating.
31
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:31,610
I remember when breaking up
over the phone was considered bad form.
32
00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:34,738
I once was broken up with
by a guy's doorman.
33
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:38,033
"I'm sorry, Ms. Hobbes,
Jonathan won't be coming down...
34
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:39,701
ever."
35
00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,703
I miss having a doorman.
36
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:43,955
So, are you gonna call him?
37
00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:47,584
No. I'm not going to dignify
his behavior with a response.
38
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,878
I am not even going
to leave him one of those
39
00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:52,089
angry answering machine messages,
40
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,799
"Hi, it's me, you're a dick!"
41
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,133
Hmm.
42
00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:57,427
But it sure felt good saying it
right now, even to you.
43
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,554
Well, that's what we're here for.
44
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:00,555
I'm sorry.
45
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,265
Yeah, I'm sorry, too.
46
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,435
That relationship was
a complete waste of time.
47
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,938
Oh, it's never a complete waste of time.
48
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,565
I mean, even in the worst relationship,
you always learn something.
49
00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:12,734
You might not want
to say that to a woman
50
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,444
carrying a loaded Post-it.
51
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,238
But, Carrie, everything
happens for a reason.
52
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:17,906
Even if you don't know what it is yet.
53
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:19,616
That's such bullshit.
54
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,785
It's not! Look at me.
55
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:26,289
If I had never married Trey,
then I never would have gotten divorced,
56
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,501
and I never would have met
my divorce lawyer, Harry,
57
00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:31,795
and I wouldn't be engaged now.
58
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:32,754
Uh-huh.
59
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,174
Paper covers rock.
60
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,512
Maybe everything does
happen for a reason.
61
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:43,265
If Berger hadn't left me
in the most horrible way
62
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,641
anyone could ever imagine,
63
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,185
I wouldn't have the afternoon free
to walk you to your hair appointment.
64
00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:49,521
Mm-hmm. We're all being
protected by the universe.
65
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:51,523
When it comes to men,
66
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:53,066
I think you may have
had it right all along.
67
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:55,277
Keep it light, don't get too involved.
68
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,403
Don't get too hurt.
69
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,613
Exactly. If you're never
someone's girlfriend,
70
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,449
you could never be
someone's ex-girlfriend.
71
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,409
You know what?
72
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:05,328
I'm gonna spend as much time
mourning this relationship
73
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,830
as he spent ending it.
74
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:10,625
Okay, I'm over it.
75
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:14,212
Hey. Let's go somewhere fantastic
tonight and have a fantastic time.
76
00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:15,797
What could we do that
would be fantastic?
77
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:19,176
I know. I'm taking you to Bed.
78
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,219
I'm not that off men.
79
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:23,472
No, Bed, it's a new club
opening tonight.
80
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:24,389
We'll all go.
81
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,349
I think I have the invitation.
82
00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:29,186
Listen to me being all hurt.
83
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,813
Look how many men have broken up
with you, and you're fine.
84
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:33,899
Ooh!
85
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:37,527
Come to Be... Come to Bed. Wow.
86
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:41,198
People say everything
happens for a reason.
87
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,617
These people are usually women.
88
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:47,037
And these women are usually
sorting through a break-up.
89
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,748
It seems that men can
get out of a relationship
90
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,374
without even a goodbye,
91
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:54,586
but apparently women
have to either get married
92
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:55,545
or learn something.
93
00:04:56,463 --> 00:05:01,009
Why are we in such a rush
to move from confused to Confucius?
94
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:05,555
Do we search for "lessons"
to lessen the pain?
95
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:10,185
Meanwhile, Samantha was at home
dressing a man for a change.
96
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,897
I called some designers
and I told them that the Absolut Hunk
97
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:18,276
was going to do TRL on MTV
and they jumped ASAP.
98
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:22,072
Gucci, YSL, D&G. Take your pick.
99
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:25,784
You know, I'm not really
comfortable wearing labels.
100
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,536
If it's okay with you,
101
00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,120
I thought I'd just
wear some jeans and this.
102
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,748
Mm. That'll work too.
103
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,669
You are going to be the fantasy
of every adolescent girl
104
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,213
and sexually confused boy in America.
105
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,966
-Mmm...
106
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,552
How'd I get hooked up with
such an amazing girlfriend?
107
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:47,055
And that was a label
Samantha wasn't comfortable wearing.
108
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:50,684
Okay, you should get ready.
The car will be here any minute.
109
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,561
You sure you can't come?
110
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,688
Oh, I can't, I promised
Carrie and the girls.
111
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,399
But I will catch the replay tonight.
112
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,360
Should I hook up with you later?
113
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,988
No, go out with
the MTV crowd and have fun.
114
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:05,574
You're the Absolut Hunk, work it!
115
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:10,287
And as your publicist, let me just say,
116
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:14,833
calling someone your girlfriend
isn't a good idea right now.
117
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:17,627
-Someone or you?
- Either way.
118
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:21,464
So when anyone asks
if you have a girlfriend,
119
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:27,095
you should say you're still looking
and haven't found anyone special yet.
120
00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:28,263
That's what you want?
121
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,557
That's what I want.
122
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:32,893
Samantha.
123
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:38,189
But I do insist you top off
that tank with some Dior sunglasses.
124
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,566
It's MTV,
125
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:41,735
if you're not wearing something
the kids can't afford,
126
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,486
how will they know to look up to you?
127
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,491
There. Much better.
128
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:52,662
That night, as Charlotte
was deciding what to wear,
129
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:55,707
she noticed that everything went with
her new engagement ring,
130
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,084
except her old wedding dress.
131
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,674
Meanwhile, in another closet...
132
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:07,636
I don't think I can go.
I'm not feeling so hot.
133
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:10,305
-Are you sick?
- No, I mean literally.
134
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:13,725
Openings of hot new clubs
are for hot childless people.
135
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,728
I'm not even one of the hot
mommies at mommy and me.
136
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:18,897
Miranda, I don't want
to have to resort to this,
137
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:22,025
but if I have to,
I will play the Post-it card.
138
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:25,987
Just explain to me why
I have to leave my house to go to Bed.
139
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:29,491
Because this can't be "the day that
I was broken up with by a Post-it."
140
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:33,036
This has to be the day
that something else happened.
141
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,996
How about
"the day your friend discovered
142
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,998
all her clothes are covered in spit-up?"
143
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,709
You are going, no excuses.
144
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,003
Okay, okay.
145
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:48,551
And speaking of no excuses,
there they were, her skinny jeans.
146
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:51,262
The jeans every woman
keeps in the vain hope
147
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,431
that someday she'll fit into them again.
148
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,036
Oh, my God, Tony!
What are you doing here?
149
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,913
No, you did not come to this club.
150
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,749
Ladies, this is a miracle.
151
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,419
I am in my skinny jeans.
152
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:28,216
I haven't fit into these since 1985,
and that is only because I had mono.
153
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:33,722
Miranda, I've never noticed before,
but you've got one hot ass.
154
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:36,391
-Really?
- Yeah, and you look good.
155
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:37,475
How did you do it?
156
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,644
Well, I got pregnant,
became a single mother,
157
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:41,229
and stopped having any time to eat.
158
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:43,273
Oh, that's a diet I won't be trying.
159
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:47,485
I can't believe I am in my skinny jeans!
I am never taking them off.
160
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,320
Charlotte, can I wear these
to your wedding?
161
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,949
-I'm kidding.
-Oh, no, it's just...
162
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,827
I just feel kind of silly
that I made such a big fuss
163
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,078
about my ring earlier.
164
00:08:57,162 --> 00:09:00,415
Oh, honey, a diamond that big
deserves a parade.
165
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,292
But this is the second time around.
166
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,002
I already did the showing of the ring,
167
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:06,129
I already did the big wedding,
you were there.
168
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,338
-It was lovely.
-Lovely.
169
00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:10,717
So this time I've decided
that it should just be
170
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,719
really small and tasteful.
171
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,512
-So, no denim?
-Right.
172
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:17,098
And I don't want to disappoint you,
173
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:19,392
I've decided not to have bridesmaids.
174
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,645
-Whoo-hoo!
175
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,439
Hallelujah!
176
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:25,940
Okay, let's go to Bed.
177
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:33,406
Since people often go to bars
to try to get someone into bed,
178
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,867
it was only a matter of time
'til someone
179
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,328
cut out the middle man
and put the beds in bars.
180
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:41,164
Now this is my kind of place.
181
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,957
And I thought they were being ironic.
182
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:47,003
If I had know it was gonna be like this,
I would have brought my bite guard.
183
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,800
Um, bed for four please.
184
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:53,635
All the beds are booked right now.
185
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:55,178
Oh, damn, that always happens to me.
186
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,972
We're on the VIP list, Samantha Jones.
187
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:00,308
Perfect. I'll be right back.
188
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,602
I have to find a bathroom.
189
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:05,021
-I need to pee.
-Oh, really?
190
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:08,483
Or do you just want to stare
at your ass in the mirror?
191
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,318
Well, that too.
192
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:11,694
Shake it, sister!
193
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,906
-Whoo!
194
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,033
We're ready. Follow me.
195
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,827
Oh, that was fast.
196
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,912
What could I say,
I know how to work it in Bed.
197
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,003
Oh...
198
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,381
And I didn't even
have to buy you dinner.
199
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,341
I'm sorry, someone pushed me.
200
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,759
You want me to have them killed?
201
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,761
-Would you?
-Just say when.
202
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:39,430
-When.
-Okay, I'm bluffing.
203
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:41,015
Yeah, I knew you were all talk.
204
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:43,226
Yeah. I'm Peter.
205
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,519
Oh... Miranda.
206
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,730
Well, thank you
for letting me crash.
207
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:49,524
Why don't you hang out?
208
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:52,944
It's not that often I have such
a beautiful woman in bed with me.
209
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:57,031
Oh, okay.
210
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,867
But move over, that's my side.
211
00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:07,041
All the men in here seem kind of old.
212
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,210
That's because you're dating Smith.
213
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,795
Who's basically a zygote.
214
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,881
I am not dating him. I'm fucking him.
215
00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:15,758
And now, I'm looking
for someone else to fuck.
216
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,011
Well, I think you may have
come to the right place.
217
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,055
This place is awesome!
218
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,767
Oh, no. That's Berger's friend.
219
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,060
-Oh!
-Where?
220
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,478
In the next bed.
221
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:28,813
Oh, God, I hate New York.
222
00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:30,940
Is there no other club opening tonight?
223
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,484
What should I do?
224
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,028
Ignore them.
225
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:36,404
No, I can't.
226
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,573
It'll get back to Berger
that I acted childish.
227
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,158
Just go over there and say hi.
228
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,994
Act like Berger's the last
thing on your mind.
229
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,455
Right. I'll take the high road.
230
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,750
I'll be calm and classy
and just say hello.
231
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:52,921
Billy, hi!
232
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:54,130
Hey, Carrie.
233
00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:01,971
-Hi, how are you?
-Fuckin' great.
234
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:05,183
Chris, Andrew, this is
Berger's girlfriend, Carrie.
235
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,434
Is Berger with you?
236
00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:07,644
Um...
237
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:12,232
This is kind of uncomfortable
238
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:16,986
but, uh, we broke up this morning.
239
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:19,489
Oh. Man, I'm sorry to hear that.
240
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,448
Yeah.
241
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,409
Yeah, I knew you guys
had all kinds of problems.
242
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,121
Yeah...
243
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,792
and he was bad in bed.
244
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,504
Well, you look great, Billy.
245
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:44,097
You know that angry message I didn't
want to leave on Berger's machine?
246
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,473
I just left it on his friend.
247
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:46,766
What happened?
248
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,102
I took the lowest possible road.
249
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:52,689
I told him Berger was bad in bed,
which isn't even true.
250
00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:55,817
Two times! Don't you forget anything?
251
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,026
Why did you say that?
252
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,696
I don't... It just came out.
253
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,155
Well, it's understandable.
254
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:03,908
You're suffering from Post-it
traumatic stress syndrome.
255
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:06,327
I need to find a way
to erase that message.
256
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,037
Go back over there and explain.
257
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:11,457
Just tell them you're hurt
and that you didn't mean it.
258
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,918
Oh, great, now I have
to admit that I'm hurt?
259
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:17,171
First, a little nerve Clicquot.
260
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:30,435
Hey.
261
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,688
Uh, that thing I said before?
262
00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:36,024
Terrible and not true.
263
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,608
He was fine in bed.
264
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:39,777
Great, in fact.
265
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:43,323
Fireworks. Rockets.
266
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:45,700
I don't even know why I said that.
267
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,119
I'm...
268
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,122
hurt, okay?
269
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:52,165
Sure.
270
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,374
Break-ups are tough.
271
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:56,711
Yes. Under normal circumstances
they are tough.
272
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:58,921
And in this case... tougher.
273
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:02,884
Look, I don't want to drag you
into this, but, uh...
274
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,971
Berger broke up with me on a Post-it.
275
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:15,688
Yeah, I know as Berger's friend,
you can't have a normal reaction.
276
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:19,817
But just so you know,
the normal reaction has been...
277
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,738
Not that I'm going
around telling everyone.
278
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,323
Just some girlfriends.
279
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:30,495
I'm trying to understand
why someone would do that.
280
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,997
Well, maybe he was afraid.
281
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,165
Interesting, how so?
282
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,292
Women can get really angry.
283
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:40,296
Well, I assure you, I would
have been very understanding.
284
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:41,923
Right.
285
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,174
Excuse me?
286
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:48,513
You all say that, but then
you just freak and get all psycho-bitch.
287
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:49,889
Really?
288
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,767
So now it's our fault?
289
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,977
All we're saying is
there really is no good way
290
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,938
to break up with someone, is there?
291
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,315
Well, it's funny you
should mention that, Billy,
292
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,776
because actually there is.
293
00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:07,115
You can have the guts and the courtesy
to tell a woman to her face
294
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,950
that you no longer want to see her.
295
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:12,829
Call me crazy, but I think
that you can make a point
296
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,915
of ending your relationship
in a manner that does not include
297
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:19,085
an e-mail, a doorman
or a missing person's report.
298
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:23,297
I think you could all get over your fear
of looking like the bad guy
299
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:28,219
and actually have the uncomfortable
"break-up" conversation,
300
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,512
because here's what,
301
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,640
avoiding that is what makes you
the bad guy.
302
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:35,226
-And just so you know, Allan...
-Andrew.
303
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:38,604
Uh-huh. Most women aren't
angry, irrational psychos.
304
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:41,941
We just want an ending
to a relationship that...
305
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:45,611
that is thoughtful and decent
306
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:48,030
and honors what we had together.
307
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,450
So my point, Billy, is this,
308
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:53,161
there is a good way
to break up with someone.
309
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:56,581
And it doesn't include a Post-it!
310
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,168
Um, okay.
311
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,011
Much better.
312
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,180
You think? We have to get out
of here immediately.
313
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,102
So, what...
314
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:19,854
You have a boyfriend?
315
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,355
Me? No.
316
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,107
Right.
317
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:24,192
I don't.
318
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:27,028
Come on. How is that possible?
319
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,909
I have no idea.
320
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,827
Well, neither do I.
321
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:36,454
You're hot.
322
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,290
Hi. Sorry, we're leaving.
323
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,042
I just learned you should
never go to bed angry.
324
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,670
Oh! Well...
325
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:47,715
Oh.
326
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:50,218
Well, it was really great meeting you.
327
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:52,011
It was good to meet you.
328
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:52,970
I'll see ya.
329
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:55,765
And thanks.
330
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:56,849
For what?
331
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:04,899
Okay, so I'm angry.
332
00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:06,776
So those guys will
tell Berger that I'm angry.
333
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:07,985
I can live with that.
334
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,445
Come on, bro, give me a hit.
335
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:11,739
- Pass that back.
-Ooh...
336
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:13,783
- You think that'll last?
- You got it, man...
337
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,035
Do you smell that?
338
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:17,495
-Pot.
-Oh.
339
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,122
Let's get high!
340
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:21,958
I'd get high.
341
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,793
Wait, are you serious?
342
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:28,089
Yes! That's exactly what
my mind needs, cloudiness.
343
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:31,050
I'm still too lucid on
the facts of the day and night.
344
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,927
Hey, when was the last
time you smoked pot?
345
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,804
I think I was wearing these jeans.
346
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,765
-I'm not smoking pot.
-Post-it.
347
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:39,976
How would we even get any?
348
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:43,104
I'd call my dealer,
but he's at the Cape.
349
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,940
Oh, damn those dealers
and their summer houses.
350
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,567
I'll ask those guys.
351
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:52,029
Excuse me, fellas?
352
00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:53,781
- I got it...
-Excuse me?
353
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:55,700
Hey...
354
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:57,285
Um...
355
00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:01,872
My friends and I were
wondering if you knew...
356
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,874
I like her in those jeans.
357
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:06,294
Is it safe to buy pot from strangers?
358
00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:08,462
They're not strangers,
they're our new friends with pot.
359
00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:11,215
-Okay, thank you.
360
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,052
Okay.
361
00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:18,389
They're going around the corner
to Drown the Hound,
362
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:19,974
there's a guy there who deals.
363
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:22,476
And I get the one with the glasses.
364
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:25,646
My, when she scores, she scores.
365
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,481
-All right.
366
00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:29,650
- There you go.
- Thanks a lot, Tommy.
367
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:35,489
Mmm. Drown the Hound.
368
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:37,617
And I thought they were being ironic.
369
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:43,414
- I see our guys.
-Yeah, go get our...
370
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,461
If that last place was called Bed,
371
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,254
then this should be called "Smell."
372
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,505
Well, hold your nose.
373
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,883
I promised Smith I'd watch him on TRL
374
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:56,218
and this dump has a TV.
375
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,598
What's this all over the floor?
376
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,224
Peanut shells.
377
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,977
-Why?
-I don't know.
378
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:08,105
Do peanut shells have
to happen for a reason?
379
00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,066
What can I get ya?
380
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,192
Here's a 20.
381
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:12,652
I assume in a place like this
382
00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:15,446
that covers three drinks
and a channel change.
383
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:18,407
Does the bride need another Jell-O shot?
384
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:19,867
No, I can't...
385
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:22,244
- Yes!
386
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:25,456
-Drinks!
-One more.
387
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:26,582
Look at them.
388
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,876
-So happy.
389
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,629
Here comes the bride
390
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:32,922
Hey, sweetie, what's wrong?
391
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,885
I just... I wish I'd never
been married before.
392
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,721
But, if you hadn't married Trey,
you wouldn't have met Harry--
393
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:44,767
I know, it's just, I hate
that this is my second ring
394
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,936
and that this is my second marriage.
395
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,939
And I hate that I finally
found the love of my life
396
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:53,067
and I can't celebrate it
in a big, big way.
397
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:56,112
You can do whatever you want.
398
00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:58,739
No, I can't. It's...
399
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:00,408
It's inappropriate.
400
00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:02,535
Excuse me?
401
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:05,246
Hi, would you take a picture
of me and my girlfriends?
402
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:06,247
She's getting married.
403
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,624
-Sure.
-Thank you.
404
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,547
You know, she got engaged last night.
405
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:15,881
Oh! That's great!
406
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,258
Congratulations!
407
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,718
No, no, it's my second--
408
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:21,470
She's getting married
to a wonderful man.
409
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,305
And look at this rock.
410
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,474
- Oh, wow!
- It's gorgeous!
411
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,476
-It's beautiful!
-Thank you.
412
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,978
You have to be in the picture!
413
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,104
No, that's okay.
414
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:31,355
Come on.
415
00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:35,109
Give me the camera.
416
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,780
All right. Everyone say, "bride!"
417
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,031
Bride!
418
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:46,370
So when are you getting married?
419
00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:48,289
-What's the dress like?
-Where's the reception?
420
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,332
And finally,
Charlotte's inner judge
421
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,294
was silenced by some
very loud bachelorettes.
422
00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:56,797
Sorry, I guess he's not here tonight.
423
00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:00,259
Oh, well, you can't cry over spilt pot.
424
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:02,720
I could buy you a drink.
425
00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:04,847
I said I was buying her a drink, dude.
426
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:07,057
You have a girlfriend.
427
00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:08,559
Gentlemen, please!
428
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,561
That's the secret
of the skinny jeans.
429
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:14,064
It's not so much a state of behind
as a state of mind.
430
00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:18,778
Hey, what's up? I'm La La.
431
00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:22,448
Now, you've seen him naked on
a billboard right here in Times Square,
432
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,533
and now he's on TRL, wearing clothes,
433
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:25,910
damn, but it's still all good.
434
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:28,788
He is the absolute hottest,
the absolute awesome,
435
00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:30,206
the Absolut Hunk.
436
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,208
Give it up for Smith Jerrod.
437
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,167
Hey!
438
00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:37,546
Man, we have a lot
of fans in the house.
439
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,089
Let's get right to some questions.
440
00:21:39,882 --> 00:21:41,592
Hi, I'm Amber.
441
00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:42,968
Hey, what's up, Amber?
442
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:46,263
Nice, relaxed, sexy, yet modest.
443
00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:50,392
One, what is it like
to be the Absolut Hunk?
444
00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:55,689
I have to say it's been a real trip,
but I've met some really awesome people.
445
00:21:55,773 --> 00:21:57,191
You're hot enough to be on TV.
446
00:21:57,942 --> 00:22:00,069
-Take that to the dart board.
- And two,
447
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,946
do you have a girlfriend?
448
00:22:02,905 --> 00:22:05,282
-No, I'm still looking.
449
00:22:05,366 --> 00:22:07,284
Really, you're not dating anyone?
450
00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:11,121
I am dating, but I'm not
seeing anyone special.
451
00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:15,876
And even though Samantha
had designed it herself,
452
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:20,464
she realized "no one special"
was another label she didn't care for.
453
00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:22,091
I changed my mind.
454
00:22:23,884 --> 00:22:24,844
Kiss me.
455
00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:29,139
And to prove that Smith
was no one special to her,
456
00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:31,058
she kissed someone even less special.
457
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:35,563
Unfortunately, he was someone special
to a somewhat drunk person.
458
00:22:35,646 --> 00:22:37,565
What the fuck do you think you're doing?
459
00:22:37,648 --> 00:22:38,649
What happened?
460
00:22:38,732 --> 00:22:39,608
She kissed Frankie!
461
00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:42,653
Oh! Who the fuck
do you think you are, huh?
462
00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:43,863
Fucking city girls,
463
00:22:43,946 --> 00:22:45,656
you think you're such hot shit
that you can go around
464
00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:47,241
kissing other girls' boyfriends?
465
00:22:47,324 --> 00:22:48,868
I'm gonna kick your ass.
466
00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:50,578
I'm gonna slap the shit outta you.
467
00:22:50,661 --> 00:22:52,788
-Ah!
-Oh, my God!
468
00:22:53,455 --> 00:22:55,916
-Relax!
-Oh, yeah? You fuckin' relax!
469
00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:02,506
If I ever fucking see you again,
470
00:23:02,590 --> 00:23:06,135
I'm gonna put my shoe so far up your ass
you're gonna taste leather!
471
00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:11,181
Okay, I get it.
472
00:23:12,016 --> 00:23:13,517
Angry women can be scary.
473
00:23:13,601 --> 00:23:16,770
Very few women can pull off
anger in a tube top.
474
00:23:16,854 --> 00:23:17,730
Ugh...
475
00:23:18,689 --> 00:23:21,275
This night is turning into a total bust.
476
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:23,527
Not total.
477
00:23:24,612 --> 00:23:27,281
Oh, my God, I love you!
478
00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:28,824
Where did you get that?
479
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,829
Well, apparently,
$20 will buy you three drinks...
480
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:34,955
Uh-huh.
481
00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:36,957
A channel change, and a joint.
482
00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:38,083
All right.
483
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:46,634
Fucking men.
484
00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:48,344
Yeah.
485
00:23:52,181 --> 00:23:54,099
-Men are bullshit.
-Mmm...
486
00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:56,560
That's what I'm talking about.
487
00:23:57,227 --> 00:23:58,771
Being someone's girlfriend...
488
00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:00,522
Mm-mmm.
489
00:24:03,067 --> 00:24:04,485
No good can come of it.
490
00:24:04,568 --> 00:24:05,903
That's what I'm saying.
491
00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:11,033
Wow.
492
00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:15,496
-This is strong weed. Mmm...
-Mmm.
493
00:24:17,247 --> 00:24:18,248
Oh.
494
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:22,336
It's Smith.
495
00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:25,714
-Hello?
- Hi, did you see me?
496
00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:27,216
Yes, we saw it.
497
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:30,135
- How did I do?
-Perfect, just like we planned.
498
00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:32,221
-Can you hear me?
499
00:24:33,430 --> 00:24:36,684
I'm not getting
any reception here. Let me--
500
00:24:36,767 --> 00:24:38,852
- Hel--
-Are you there?
501
00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:42,648
As I contemplated the fact
that my relationship had gone to pot,
502
00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:43,607
literally,
503
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,236
I realized no high or low,
504
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:50,197
would make this day any day other
505
00:24:50,656 --> 00:24:53,575
than "the day I got broken up
with by a Post-it."
506
00:24:54,284 --> 00:24:56,036
- Police.
507
00:24:56,620 --> 00:24:58,080
Stay right where you are.
508
00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:02,001
That's the way it goes.
509
00:25:02,084 --> 00:25:04,378
-We have to take her downtown.
- Officer, please.
510
00:25:04,461 --> 00:25:06,005
I'm a lawyer and a mother.
511
00:25:06,088 --> 00:25:09,550
This woman is my friend, and she's
an extremely law-abiding citizen.
512
00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:10,801
Who just broke the law.
513
00:25:11,593 --> 00:25:16,140
Yes, but in her defense,
she has had a very, very bad day.
514
00:25:16,223 --> 00:25:19,059
-Her boyfriend just broke up with her.
-On a Post-it.
515
00:25:19,143 --> 00:25:21,228
Come on. That didn't happen.
516
00:25:25,107 --> 00:25:28,193
"I'm sorry, I can't, don't hate me."
517
00:25:29,945 --> 00:25:31,488
Wow. Brutal.
518
00:25:33,032 --> 00:25:36,660
Tell you what, I'll write you
up for smoking in a bar.
519
00:25:36,744 --> 00:25:39,079
Oh, come on. Can't you just let her off?
520
00:25:39,163 --> 00:25:42,916
I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me.
521
00:25:45,294 --> 00:25:47,296
Oh, hear that?
522
00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:48,714
It's midnight.
523
00:25:49,173 --> 00:25:52,926
The official end to what
will now be known as
524
00:25:53,010 --> 00:25:56,805
"the day I got arrested
for smoking a doobie."
525
00:25:57,514 --> 00:26:01,060
I said doobie. This is gr...
526
00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:04,438
You didn't get arrested.
527
00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:08,734
See? Your Post-it was
your get-out-of-jail-free card,
528
00:26:08,817 --> 00:26:10,444
so if you never met Berger, then you--
529
00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:12,571
Stop, you're killing my buzz.
530
00:26:12,654 --> 00:26:16,116
I have to say, I'm starting to agree
with Charlotte's way of thinking.
531
00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:19,953
If I hadn't accidentally
gotten pregnant by Steve,
532
00:26:20,037 --> 00:26:21,622
I never would have had Brady...
533
00:26:21,705 --> 00:26:23,582
-Aw!
-I'm not finished.
534
00:26:23,665 --> 00:26:25,167
And had no time to eat,
535
00:26:25,959 --> 00:26:28,462
so I never would have
fit into my skinny jeans
536
00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:31,882
and realized this city
is full of cute men!
537
00:26:31,965 --> 00:26:33,884
Now that's my kind of thinking.
538
00:26:34,802 --> 00:26:37,513
Carrie, don't bogart the split.
539
00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:40,307
Okay, I know what I learned
from my Berger relationship.
540
00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:50,776
Wait a minute, I just had it.
541
00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:55,030
What?
542
00:26:55,114 --> 00:26:56,115
You know what?
543
00:26:56,782 --> 00:26:58,158
I changed my mind.
544
00:26:58,784 --> 00:27:00,619
You don't think everything
happens for a reason?
545
00:27:00,702 --> 00:27:02,162
No, no, not about that,
about the wedding.
546
00:27:02,246 --> 00:27:04,998
I really want you guys
to be my bridesmaids.
547
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,920
You don't have to wear
the matching dresses, I promise.
548
00:27:10,587 --> 00:27:12,256
-All right.
- I'll eat to that!
549
00:27:12,339 --> 00:27:13,966
-Can I get that in writing?
550
00:27:14,675 --> 00:27:18,679
Oh. I think I've had enough.
My jeans just popped.
551
00:27:26,228 --> 00:27:29,356
I might never find the lesson
in why Berger and I split,
552
00:27:29,439 --> 00:27:32,901
but at least, for the moment,
there was a banana split.