1 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,388 New York City. 2 00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,974 Dreary, gray, miserable. 3 00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:58,892 Or was that just me? 4 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:03,438 After ending a sordid affair with my married ex-boyfriend, 5 00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:06,275 and going through a painful breakup with my current one, 6 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:09,027 I decided it was time for a change of scenery. 7 00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:10,195 And I wasn't alone. 8 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,865 I can't believe you're all going to LA without me. 9 00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:16,535 We still can't believe you went on your honeymoon without us. 10 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,287 Oh, I have pictures. 11 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,539 -You happy now? 12 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:21,957 While we were planning our escape, 13 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,709 Charlotte was celebrating her return. 14 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:27,004 She and Trey had just come back from ten days in Bermuda. 15 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,172 See, here Trey and I are playing golf. 16 00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:32,884 Do you think the studio will send a limo to pick us up? 17 00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:34,303 -No, I do not. -They should. 18 00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:36,138 They're making a movie out of your column. 19 00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:37,639 It's a little production company 20 00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:40,684 that's just talking about optioning my columns. 21 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:43,729 I know. I was just practicing my LA spin. 22 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:48,275 Oh, look, look. Here's one of Trey pretending to get a hole in one. 23 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,235 -He just loved that gag. -Who wouldn't? 24 00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,320 Oh! 25 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,072 Did you notice that we're both wearing Bermuda shorts? 26 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:58,076 Bermudas in Bermuda. You kids were crazy down there. 27 00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,494 Well, I'd love to stay, 28 00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:02,039 but I've got to drug my cat and take him to the kennel. 29 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,333 -Lovely. -Ah, I got to go too. 30 00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:06,168 Hey, the car's picking us up at 1:00. 31 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,210 We'll be there. 32 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:10,922 -Welcome back, you old, married lady. -Aw! 33 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,593 -Bye, have fun! - All right. 34 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:18,847 So how are you? 35 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:20,182 I'm good. How are you? 36 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,266 Great. 37 00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,687 I told Aidan about the affair and he broke up with me. 38 00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,731 Trey and I never had sex on our honeymoon. 39 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:29,524 You win. 40 00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,777 So, should we get more coffee, 41 00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,862 or should we get two guns and kill ourselves? 42 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:36,406 He just... He couldn't get it up. 43 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,201 We tried twice, and it was just so frustrating, 44 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,786 we just started playing golf. 45 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,704 After many days on the golf course, 46 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:45,248 Charlotte's handicap had gone down 12. 47 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,751 Trey's handicap had stayed the same. 48 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:48,835 Well, sweetie... 49 00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,756 -Impotence is a common problem. -Oh, God. 50 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:54,841 Do you think he's impotent? 51 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,094 Well... 52 00:02:57,719 --> 00:03:00,597 My husband can't be impotent, he's gorgeous. 53 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,849 All right, then. Glad you solved that. 54 00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:06,561 I was thinking that maybe he was just nervous 55 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:09,481 about the wedding, and the honeymoon, and the golf. 56 00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:11,483 He played really badly one day. 57 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:13,985 What do you want me to say? 58 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,155 Let's just change the subject. 59 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,117 What happened with Aidan? 60 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,745 Nothing good. 61 00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,497 The whole reason I even agreed to this trip 62 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,916 was to get away from Aidan, and Big, and the whole mess. 63 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,254 Come on, let's get the check and go to Barneys. 64 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:35,507 I can't possibly go to Los Angeles without another pair of shoes. 65 00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:37,926 No... 66 00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:40,929 You go. I'm gonna stay and have another cup. 67 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,264 Just go, have fun. 68 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:43,932 All right. 69 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:49,938 Call me if you need me. 70 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:51,773 Okay. 71 00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:52,816 -Bye. -Bye. 72 00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:02,284 Later that day, 73 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:05,120 three single New Yorkers arrived in the City of Angels. 74 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:08,832 Oh, I so needed this vacation. 75 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,125 You and me both, sister. 76 00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:11,918 Hooray for Hollywood. 77 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:18,508 Wait, that's his job? 78 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,344 To sit in a fake fish tank in underwear? 79 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:22,971 What do you think he's reading? 80 00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,806 -The want ads? 81 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,641 There seems to be a problem. 82 00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,018 Words I'm never fond of hearing. 83 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:31,396 I have reservations for Miss Jones and Miss Bradshaw, but not Miss Hobbes. 84 00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,106 Great, that's just great. 85 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,693 Well, there was supposed to be three reservations. 86 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,070 The production company only requested two rooms, 87 00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:40,363 and I'm afraid we're all booked up. 88 00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:42,532 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 89 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,576 She's from New York. 90 00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:46,161 I understand. 91 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,497 I'll have another room tomorrow, or the next day, at the latest. 92 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:51,333 Until then, might I suggest you stay with one of your friends? 93 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:55,712 I'll stay with her. 94 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:58,048 Okay, I don't want to hear anything about my smoking. 95 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,258 Uh, they didn't request smoking rooms. 96 00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,094 Excuse me? 97 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:04,679 You're on a non-smoking floor. 98 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:06,598 Words I'm even less fond of hearing. 99 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:13,104 Later that night, decked out in our New York goes to LA finest, 100 00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:15,398 we were ready for a night on the town. 101 00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,366 Okay, ready, let's go. 102 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,206 Back in the hotel bar, 103 00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,750 we realized the three-hour time difference 104 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,586 also made us three hours late for cocktail hour. 105 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,547 Welcome to LA. I'm Garth. 106 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,966 I'm Samantha. How did you know I was from out of town? 107 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,259 Because if you lived here, 108 00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:43,885 we would have met by now. 109 00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:47,597 So what do you do when you're not working as a one-man welcome wagon? 110 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:48,682 I'm a dildo model. 111 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,935 -You wouldn't tease a girl, would you? 112 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,104 Really, I'm the number-two selling model in the US. 113 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,481 Number one in Canada. My dick's bigger in Canada. 114 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:58,441 Got to love that metric system. 115 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,235 -Ugh. 116 00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:01,611 I got to run. 117 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,406 Where? A dildo emergency? 118 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,450 You know, I know you think I'm yanking your chain, but I'm not. 119 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:11,162 As a matter of fact, we are having a promotional party at the Hustler store 120 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:14,624 celebrating the launch of a new line of toys and accessories. 121 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,251 Here's an invitation. 122 00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:17,836 Come. 123 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,296 Oh. 124 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,631 I always do. 125 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,341 Oh. 126 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,638 As Samantha said good-bye to Mr. Dildo, 127 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:32,017 Miranda said hello to Mr. Dique. Mr. Jason Dique. 128 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,603 It's spelled D-I-Q-U-E. It's Dutch. 129 00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,187 And yes, I've thought about changing it. 130 00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:37,939 -Well, it could be worse. -How? 131 00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:40,400 -If your first name was Little. 132 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,527 -So what about you? What do you do? -I'm a lawyer. 133 00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:44,154 Oh, and I thought I had it bad. 134 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,364 -Oh! -No, really, that's great. 135 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:48,450 -You look like a lawyer. -And you look like a dick. 136 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,455 It is so great to talk to a smart, and funny woman. 137 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,628 Uh, what was I saying? 138 00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:02,130 It's great to talk to a smart, funny woman. 139 00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:03,506 Yeah, yeah. 140 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,384 Uh, could you excuse me for a second? 141 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,428 Okay. 142 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:09,721 And across the bar, 143 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,974 I was having drinks with the most ambitious and feared creature 144 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,726 in all of Los Angeles, 145 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,394 the junior development executive. 146 00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,188 I just love your columns. 147 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:19,981 They're so relatable. 148 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,316 Thanks. Well, I try. 149 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:24,694 It's like I'm you, or I will be when I turn 30. 150 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,239 You. You are such a loser. 151 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:29,407 You're a loser. 152 00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:31,326 You are, loser! 153 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,244 I'm kidding! 154 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:37,374 What a loser. Last year, pitched me nothing but shit, 24/7. 155 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,125 -That's a lot of shit. -No shit. 156 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,251 -Oh! 157 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,005 But seriously, I am you. 158 00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:45,799 You've had your heart broken, 159 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:47,592 I've had my heart broken. 160 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,844 And if I have, that means other girls have. 161 00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,889 And if other girls have, that means big opening weekend. 162 00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,308 Not X-Men big, but chick flick big. 163 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:58,103 God, the guy who came up with that term should have his balls cut off. 164 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:00,105 Don't you think that's a little severe? 165 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:03,608 Do I sound like an asshole? I hope I don't sound like an asshole. 166 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,193 You know, I love your shoes. 167 00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:06,569 Oh, thanks. Thanks. 168 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,279 So, big news. 169 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,700 I have a star interested. Guess who. 170 00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,244 Um... 171 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,287 Drew Barrymore? 172 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,789 No. Guess. 173 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,875 I'm really not good with the celebrity names. 174 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,252 Oh, guess. 175 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,336 Uh... 176 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:27,090 That Jennifer Love-something girl? 177 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,133 Nope. Guess. 178 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,094 I'm done guessing. 179 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,849 Matthew McConaughey. 180 00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,478 Why would he want to be involved? 181 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,147 Because he's smart. 182 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:45,358 He's a producer as well, and he really took to the material. 183 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:47,068 You're meeting him tomorrow at 3:00. 184 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,611 Hot, hottie, hot. 185 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,030 What do you think about that? 186 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,327 Meanwhile, back in New York, 187 00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:59,914 Charlotte was dealing with a bed that was still cold, coldie, cold. 188 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:04,627 -Trey, honey, come to bed. It's late. -Oh, in a minute. 189 00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:08,089 I won't be able to sleep until I enter all these wedding gifts. 190 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,466 Sleep was the last thing 191 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,593 Charlotte was hoping Trey would do in bed that night. 192 00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,804 You see, I've listed the gifts... 193 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,682 -Uh-huh. -...who it's from, and the addresses. 194 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,061 That'll make it a breeze when you send out the thank-you notes. 195 00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:24,314 Oh, I can't wait till all this wedding nonsense is behind us, 196 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:28,860 and then we can relax and just be a regular man and wife. 197 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:30,820 Wait a minute. 198 00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:33,698 The Jamison's were the crystal candlesticks, 199 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:36,242 -and the Sullivan's were the silver... 200 00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:37,702 Oh, hello, there. 201 00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:42,165 You know, since we've been home, 202 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:46,294 I've just been feeling so much more relaxed. Haven't you? 203 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:47,629 -Oh! 204 00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,756 I think you just deleted Mr. and Mrs. Evan Handey 205 00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,966 and their Steuben glass bowl. Hang on. 206 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,096 Trey. 207 00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:59,015 We have a problem. 208 00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:00,809 I know. 209 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:05,188 Somehow, we've got two serving platters, and we only registered for one. 210 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:10,193 Charlotte walked back to her big, Park Avenue bed, 211 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,321 wishing she had remembered to register for a sex life. 212 00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:17,867 When visiting LA, there are two things you simply must do. 213 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,203 One, is rent a fabulous car. 214 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,122 Two, is learn how to drive it. 215 00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:23,957 You said you knew how to drive a stick. 216 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:27,544 Well, I did, a couple of times. In a parking lot. 217 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,046 Why didn't you just get an automatic? 218 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,465 I love this car. It goes with my outfit. 219 00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:35,593 It was my own personal belief that cars are to Los Angeles 220 00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:37,762 -what handbags are to New York. 221 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:41,808 What's with this hill? LA is supposed to be flat. 222 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,351 Yeah, I think they mean culturally. 223 00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:44,727 The hotel's right there. 224 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:47,522 Yes, but to get there, we have to go up this hill. 225 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,863 Okay, that's enough! Stop! 226 00:10:57,949 --> 00:11:00,285 I'm not going to die in this tin can. 227 00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:01,744 I have a date with a dildo. 228 00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:04,747 I'm sorry... 229 00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,833 All right, all right, come on, we're gonna do it. 230 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,711 -Let me try again. 231 00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:12,297 -Oh, shit. 232 00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,299 -Yeah, baby, go! 233 00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:21,389 A little while later, freshly showered and freaked out, 234 00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:24,767 I drove to the studio for my meeting with Matthew McConaughey. 235 00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:44,787 - Hey. - Can I help you? 236 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,122 Warner building five. 237 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,082 There aren't any hills in there, are there? 238 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,294 Go down there, make a left. General parking. 239 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,503 Okay, thank you. 240 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,221 I do. I like all of it. 241 00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:03,681 I think your writing is brilliant. 242 00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:07,977 I really do. I mean, it's sharp, it's edgy, it's brutal at times. 243 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,855 It's always a little juicy. It's very New York. 244 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:14,442 And I'm saying I do like it, I really do. 245 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,694 Wow. My God. Well... 246 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,198 thank you, Matthew McConaughey. 247 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,659 You're welcome, Carrie Bradshaw. 248 00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,703 Now, here's what I've been thinking about. 249 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:31,042 How do we get your column to translate to the silver screen? 250 00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:32,460 And I think I've got the answer. 251 00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:36,172 Now, what if we flush out the central relationship? 252 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:38,758 Hmm? 253 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,969 Mmm-hmm, okay. The central relationship. 254 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,470 Yeah, Carrie and Mr. Big, huh? 255 00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,932 I don't see why they couldn't make it work. 256 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:47,892 I couldn't believe it. 257 00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:51,062 I flew 3,000 miles to have Matthew McConaughey 258 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,982 ask the same question I've been asking myself for years? 259 00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:56,526 I mean, look at him. I mean, he is such a great guy. 260 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,612 I mean, I don't know anybody any cooler than Mr. Big. 261 00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:04,659 My only question, really, is what the fuck is Carrie's problem? 262 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,161 You know? What do you think? 263 00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:10,039 Well, um... 264 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:11,624 I don't... 265 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:16,421 I don't particularly think it was just her problem. 266 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:21,592 Um, 'cause, well, actually, he had some, you know, commitment issues. 267 00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:24,304 Oh, that's bullshit, Carrie, and you know it! 268 00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:28,016 Cut. 269 00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:30,059 Kidding. I'm acting, huh? 270 00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:32,979 That's what I do. 271 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,064 Yes, but do you see what I mean? 272 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,899 That's why I want to develop the story with you. 273 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:39,652 I'm Mr. Big. 274 00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:44,032 Oh, okay. Well, yeah. Okay, that's... 275 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,159 Excellent. You're in. 276 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:47,410 You know what else? 277 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:51,247 I really want to fuck you, baby. 278 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:53,750 Are you acting now? 279 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,585 I'm Big, okay? 280 00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:58,671 -You be Carrie. -I am Carrie. 281 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:02,383 We are animals. Man, woman, walking the Earth. 282 00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,511 We are made of head, heart, and loins. 283 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,306 We're talking about using them. Am I right? 284 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:09,223 Well... 285 00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:11,726 I have, uh, well... 286 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,771 The girl said that we would probably... 287 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,982 We would... we would talk about the columns today. 288 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:21,319 Let's get down to the underbelly of these two characters. 289 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:24,864 And let's figure out why they're so fucked up. 290 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:28,743 Well, I have a facial at 4:00. 291 00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,370 And I love you. 292 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:33,623 I don't understand why we can't be together. 293 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,166 Do you mind if I smoke? 294 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,959 I don't think you should smoke, Carrie. 295 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,211 -What? -In the movie. 296 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,463 I don't think Carrie should smoke. 297 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,465 Oh, that's all right. 298 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:47,178 Or in my office, okay? 299 00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:50,181 After I left the meeting, I took a wrong turn 300 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:53,810 and somehow found myself right back where I had started. 301 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:57,230 Back in New York. Back wondering about Big. 302 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:01,567 I had come to LA for a vacation, 303 00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,820 hoping to get away from Big and Aidan, 304 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,613 and most of all, myself. 305 00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:07,031 But sitting on the fake set, 306 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:09,826 all my old issues felt more real than ever. 307 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,203 I couldn't help but wonder, 308 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:15,915 no matter how far you travel or how much you run from it, 309 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:18,459 can you ever really escape your past? 310 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:21,754 Ma'am, no smoking. 311 00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:23,840 But I'm outside. 312 00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,300 And it's New York! 313 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:42,525 In New York, the release of a new book is cause for celebration. 314 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:46,195 Here in LA, a new line of sex toys will do the trick. 315 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,363 Isn't this fun? 316 00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:50,992 The answer to that would be "no." Sweetie, we want to go. 317 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:53,453 What? We can't leave yet. 318 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,163 Look, they haven't even cut the cock. 319 00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,165 What are the chances it's cream filled? 320 00:15:57,248 --> 00:16:00,376 I am exhausted from McConaughey-mania. 321 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,253 I just want to get into bed, go to sleep, 322 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,255 and pretend this whole day never happened. 323 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,756 Oh, stay a little longer. 324 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:09,177 Garth's going to autograph some dildos. He's a very big seller. 325 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,095 He's the John Grisham of penises. 326 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,555 I'm going to go get in line. 327 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,896 I can't believe how open and "Hi, I have sex" this place is. 328 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,273 In New York, sex is so bottom shelf, paper bag. 329 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:24,942 Exactly. It's all hidden, like me. 330 00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:26,611 What do you mean? 331 00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:29,238 Last night, I was talking to this cute guy, 332 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,781 and we were having a great time. 333 00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:34,076 And then, this woman in a tight dress walked by with big breasts. 334 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,661 Just boom, here they are. 335 00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:37,288 And he totally went for it. 336 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,207 Right. 337 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,626 But the thing is, I wanted to have sex with him, too. 338 00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:44,545 But it was all hidden in my witty banter and my little looks. 339 00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,756 And she just put it right out there. Sex. 340 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:47,715 And she got the guy. 341 00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,217 Yeah, but how long did she have him? 342 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,385 Who cares? I'm on vacation, I want to get laid. 343 00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:55,556 I admire women who can just put it right out there where you can see it. 344 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,308 See, look. Like her. 345 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:00,937 You want to dress like her? 346 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,022 You know what I mean. 347 00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:05,775 Do you think there's any chance that she's not up for sex? 348 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,610 No, 'cause she's a hooker. 349 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,529 She's not a... 350 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:10,947 Hi. 351 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,074 - Hi. -Have we met? 352 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:17,370 No, I was just telling my friend how much I admire what you're wearing. 353 00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:19,247 Thank you. 354 00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:20,748 Are you in the porn industry? 355 00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:22,667 Oh, God, no. I'm a lawyer for Disney. 356 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:23,751 Ah! 357 00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:25,670 See? 358 00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:27,755 - There you go. - Thank you so much. 359 00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:28,714 Enjoy. 360 00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:30,841 You made it. 361 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:38,766 Well, my opinion of Canadian consumers just went up a notch. 362 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,644 Sign it, please. 363 00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:43,104 How should I sign it? 364 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,522 I don't know. 365 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:48,401 "To Samantha, who's staying at The Standard, Room 324." 366 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:49,527 Perfect. 367 00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,320 I'll deliver it personally. 368 00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:53,155 You're too kind. 369 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,534 - That night, 370 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:59,078 Samantha took home the deluxe Garth. 371 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:04,917 And next door, I learned that not only could I not escape my past, 372 00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:06,752 I couldn't escape my present. 373 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:15,303 What is it about California air? It makes me sleep so well. 374 00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:17,638 -Mmm. -It's not the air. 375 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,974 Your headboard knocked you unconscious. 376 00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,726 -You heard us? -I didn't. 377 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,061 No, Miss Snore, you wouldn't. 378 00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:25,646 -Are you okay? -I'm cranky. 379 00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:29,358 I have to take another meeting with Matthew McConaughey and his partners. 380 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,985 We're all gonna sit around and "brainstorm" 381 00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:33,904 what goes wrong with "Carrie and all her relationships." 382 00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:36,824 -Don't go. -I have to go. They flew me out here. 383 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:38,326 I'm their little writer monkey. 384 00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:42,371 Well, I've got something to make you feel better. 385 00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:46,917 Oh, dildos before 10:00 a.m. I'm all perked up. 386 00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,211 -They're autographed, one for each. -Oh. 387 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:52,923 "My friend went to California and all I got was this lousy dildo." 388 00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:55,760 Could you please put these back wherever they came from? People are staring. 389 00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:57,303 Please, it's LA. 390 00:18:57,386 --> 00:19:00,264 No one cares if your egg whites have a side of cock. 391 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:02,892 Wow, nobody needs this much. 392 00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:05,770 Do you know the average woman is only five inches deep? 393 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,521 Is that written on your place mat or something? 394 00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:10,316 To me, the mark of a fine penis is width. 395 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,234 Mmm, couldn't agree more. 396 00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,403 That's why I know you'll enjoy your presents. 397 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,530 -Huh. -So are you saying that 398 00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:19,742 -Garth has the perfect girth? -Exactly. 399 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:26,082 Mmm. Well, as much as I enjoy the fine, lifelike craftsmanship, 400 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,541 I'm going to leave mine with you. 401 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:30,795 Um, I think I'm holding onto mine. 402 00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:33,964 LA isn't working out exactly the way I had hoped. 403 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,342 Meanwhile, back in New York, 404 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,719 and still no closer to being input by Trey, 405 00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,930 Charlotte addressed thank-you notes. 406 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,058 Every time she licked a love stamp, 407 00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:46,102 she felt it made a mockery of her marriage. 408 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:54,985 -Hello. -It's me. 409 00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:58,572 It's been days and still nothing. What if he really is impotent? 410 00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:01,492 Well, what kind of impotence do you think it is? 411 00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:03,119 The kind that makes it soft? 412 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,080 No, no. I mean, physical or emotional? 413 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:07,498 I don't know. 414 00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,834 Well, have you asked him about it? 415 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:12,712 Oh, he's embarrassed. He doesn't even want to talk about it. 416 00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:14,338 Okay, here's how you find out. 417 00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:18,259 You put a ring of paper around his flaccid penis while he's asleep. 418 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,594 Jesus, I sound like a perverted Nancy Drew. 419 00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:21,846 What does that do? 420 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,931 Well, if it rips during the night, 421 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:27,768 that means he's capable of an erection and the problem is not physical. 422 00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,311 This floor's non-smoking. 423 00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,355 I have an addiction, sir! 424 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,983 A ring of paper? 425 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,234 Yep. 426 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:41,741 Later that night, Samantha invited Mr. Dildo out for dim sum, 427 00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:42,783 and then some. 428 00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:47,246 So, Samantha, tell me more about yourself. 429 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,874 -What are your interests? -Well, I think that's pretty obvious. 430 00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:51,125 I'm serious. 431 00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:55,045 I mean, don't you want to know more about me? My interests? 432 00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:58,007 Well, okay. 433 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,925 -I'm a poet. -Oh. 434 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:03,012 I've been published in the Amicus Journal. 435 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:06,932 Garth wanted Samantha to know that he was more than just a sex toy. 436 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:08,392 He had a soft side. 437 00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:10,227 You want to hear one? 438 00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:15,983 And far away, Charlotte was dealing with Trey's soft side as well. 439 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:18,819 She decided she was going to get some answers. 440 00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:20,988 So she came to bed armed with love. 441 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:35,586 She went to sleep hoping her male had sufficient postage 442 00:21:35,669 --> 00:21:37,755 to deliver his package into her box. 443 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:40,716 - Back at the hotel, 444 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,260 Samantha was waiting for a delivery of her own. 445 00:21:43,344 --> 00:21:46,096 And once again, the leaves bloomed forth. 446 00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:49,558 Some headed south, some headed north. 447 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:52,561 That's beautiful. 448 00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:54,188 Come here. 449 00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:56,857 Blue... 450 00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,360 as a baby bird, 451 00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:02,238 winged and aloft, 452 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:05,616 my eyes search your eyes, 453 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:08,035 for something I've lost. 454 00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:13,207 Samantha, I was thinking. 455 00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:15,459 Oh, you were? 456 00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:19,213 We have this really great connection. And I've pretty much done LA. 457 00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:20,256 How about I move to New York? 458 00:22:21,507 --> 00:22:24,677 I could pursue my two passions, poetry and porn. 459 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:25,886 Uh... 460 00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:27,012 Wouldn't it be great? 461 00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:28,681 We could keep seeing each other. 462 00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,142 Having a fling in LA is one thing, 463 00:22:32,226 --> 00:22:36,647 but introducing Mr. Dildo to everyone at a gala at the Met was quite another. 464 00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:39,149 I don't think it would work, Garth. 465 00:22:39,233 --> 00:22:40,609 I know me. 466 00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:44,446 And I'm much too possessive a woman to share your penis with the world. 467 00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:49,660 And just like that, Samantha escaped a life as Mrs. Dildo. 468 00:22:49,743 --> 00:22:52,746 She moved Garth out of her present and into her past. 469 00:22:52,997 --> 00:22:54,915 But she took the best part of him with her. 470 00:22:58,294 --> 00:23:01,046 I'd finally found a place to escape Miranda's snoring. 471 00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:05,050 The ghosts of my relationships past weren't so easy to shake. 472 00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:09,305 I had to face the fact that I hadn't really moved on from Big and Aidan. 473 00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:10,347 I'd just moved. 474 00:23:10,431 --> 00:23:11,265 Excuse me. 475 00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:14,393 I put it out, see? I put it out! 476 00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:17,813 Oh, no, I was just wondering if I could bum one of those. 477 00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:20,816 Oh, sorry, it was my last one. 478 00:23:22,985 --> 00:23:24,278 You want some company? 479 00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:31,952 You sure you want to be alone? 480 00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:34,204 I am. 481 00:23:34,288 --> 00:23:37,958 As soon as I said it out loud, I knew that that was just what I wanted. 482 00:23:40,794 --> 00:23:41,795 And needed. 483 00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:47,801 The next day, 484 00:23:47,885 --> 00:23:51,305 Charlotte woke up as excited as a little girl on Christmas morning. 485 00:23:51,388 --> 00:23:54,433 And she couldn't wait to see if Trey's package was unwrapped. 486 00:24:05,903 --> 00:24:08,322 Mmm, morning, morning, morning! 487 00:24:09,865 --> 00:24:13,118 Well, good morning. What are you so excited about? 488 00:24:13,202 --> 00:24:14,703 Nothing. 489 00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:15,829 I just love you. 490 00:24:17,164 --> 00:24:18,457 I love you, too. 491 00:24:19,583 --> 00:24:23,212 For the first time in weeks, Charlotte felt relieved. 492 00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:24,964 Trey's problem wasn't physical. 493 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,383 And then, she realized 494 00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:28,801 if it wasn't physical, 495 00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:31,720 she couldn't escape the fact that it might be emotional. 496 00:24:32,262 --> 00:24:35,140 And there was no easy love-stamp solution to fix that. 497 00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:41,021 I am totally digging this scene. 498 00:24:41,105 --> 00:24:44,525 It's so Urban Cowboy, circa 1982. 499 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:46,860 All the fabulous places in LA, 500 00:24:46,944 --> 00:24:48,946 and we're at the Saddle Ranch Chop House? 501 00:24:49,029 --> 00:24:50,155 Hey, don't complain. 502 00:24:50,239 --> 00:24:52,199 It's the closest bar without a hill involved. 503 00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:54,576 You see, this is what I'm talking about. Look at her. 504 00:24:54,660 --> 00:24:57,663 She screams sex. It's so honest. 505 00:24:57,746 --> 00:24:59,540 I wish I could be more like that. 506 00:25:00,124 --> 00:25:03,252 Well, stop fucking complaining about it and just do something about it. 507 00:25:07,297 --> 00:25:10,092 Okay, which lovely lady's going to be next? 508 00:25:11,093 --> 00:25:12,094 I will! 509 00:25:12,428 --> 00:25:13,470 Miranda, no! 510 00:25:13,554 --> 00:25:14,722 Over here! She will! 511 00:25:14,805 --> 00:25:15,931 - No! -Here, take my shoes. 512 00:25:16,974 --> 00:25:18,392 Go, girl! Yee-haw! 513 00:25:33,282 --> 00:25:34,533 Hold on! 514 00:25:38,328 --> 00:25:40,956 We weren't sure if it was the California climate 515 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,167 or the five Lone Star beers she drank, 516 00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:47,629 but as soon as she got on that bull, Miranda escaped Miranda. 517 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,061 Wow, I guess she really did need a vacation. 518 00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:10,444 And the next day, as I pulled up to the studio, 519 00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:14,281 I realized I was the one who held the key to my escape. 520 00:26:14,740 --> 00:26:15,824 I could drive in 521 00:26:15,908 --> 00:26:19,078 and have someone tell me the mistakes I'd made in my past. 522 00:26:19,161 --> 00:26:22,039 Or I could drive on and figure them out myself. 523 00:26:28,962 --> 00:26:30,130 So that's what I did. 524 00:26:30,547 --> 00:26:33,550 I mean, if I could master a stick shift, 525 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,429 could a successful relationship be that far behind?