1
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:51,051
Okay, I got to go.
2
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,762
Bye. Have a good day. Give me a kiss.
3
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:56,223
Bye, bye.
4
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:59,977
One of the unfortunate things
about ending a relationship
5
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,312
in an expensive city like New York is,
6
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,815
while you can emotionally
move away from each other,
7
00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:07,109
you physically can't.
8
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:19,705
Hey, going to work?
9
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:20,914
Yeah, work.
10
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:22,833
Sorry about waking you.
11
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,376
What time is it?
12
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,169
6:30.
13
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,130
Jesus, why so early?
14
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,549
I got a brief due, so...
15
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,301
There was nothing brief
about it.
16
00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:33,927
Steve and Miranda had been doing
17
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:37,014
the polite, avoid-each-other
break-up dance for about three weeks.
18
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:39,641
Hey.
19
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:42,561
I'm sorry it's taking me so long
to find a place.
20
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:44,855
I got a lead on one, though.
21
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,315
Okay.
22
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,400
Hey, do you...
23
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:51,236
Never mind.
24
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:52,696
What?
25
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:55,741
No, I was gonna ask if you wanna go
and look at it with me, but that's...
26
00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:57,409
That's weird, right?
27
00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,161
I don't know.
28
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,704
I guess we could do that.
29
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:02,205
Yeah?
30
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:09,338
And when you finally
do find that place to move,
31
00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:11,173
you need to fill it with furniture.
32
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:14,509
That's why so many smart New Yorkers
frequent the opening day
33
00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:16,386
of the new designers showcase.
34
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:21,016
Hey. I'm like your roadie.
35
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:22,267
Oh, I don't have a road.
36
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,061
I just have this booth.
37
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,229
So, at best, you're my booth bitch.
38
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:29,066
-Yeah, I'm your booth bitch.
-Meow.
39
00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:31,109
I waxed your wood.
40
00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:33,403
You wax it real good.
41
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:36,281
-That's 'cause I'm your booth bitch.
-Mmm.
42
00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:42,579
You watch the booth.
I'm gonna go get us some coffee.
43
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,582
Whatever you say.
44
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,000
I'm your booth bitch.
45
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:48,585
Oh, that's sexy.
46
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:49,878
And I like it.
47
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,633
I didn't need to wait
for a blue ribbon panel to decide.
48
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:58,512
He was the finest new designer
in the whole damn place.
49
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:09,648
I had often fantasized about
running into my ex and his wife,
50
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,943
but in those fantasies,
I was running into them with a truck.
51
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,987
I don't know
how you could like this clunky wood.
52
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,072
It's almost oppressive.
53
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:23,954
What the fuck?
54
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,789
Hey. Hi.
55
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,083
Hi.
56
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,127
I'm working here. Well, I mean...
57
00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:34,089
I'm not working...
Just, this is my boyfriend's booth.
58
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,258
I'm his booth bitch.
59
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:38,927
That's a joke.
60
00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:40,804
I guess it's an in joke.
61
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:42,264
I get it.
62
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:46,935
So, can I, um,
show you something in a hutch?
63
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:50,939
His pieces are fantastic.
It's just not really our style.
64
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,399
Oh.
65
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,985
Yeah, we only like teeny tiny furniture.
66
00:03:58,155 --> 00:03:58,989
Hey.
67
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,241
Oh, hey. Hey.
68
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:02,743
Hey. Oh.
69
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,536
Hey, this is, um...
70
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,997
This is the designer.
This is Aidan Shaw.
71
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,374
Hey, great stuff.
72
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,168
Aw, thanks, man.
73
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,838
-Oak?
-Actually, it's mostly maple.
74
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:15,881
There we were,
75
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,550
mostly maple,
and incredibly uncomfortable.
76
00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:20,844
Sorry, I didn't get your names.
77
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,013
Oh! Oh, no, I'm sorry, um...
78
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,307
These are my friends.
79
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,768
This is, uh, Natasha and this is--
80
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:29,102
Oh, oh!
81
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:32,063
Oh, shit! Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
Is that hot?
82
00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:34,232
-Well, it ain't cold.
-God...
83
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,026
-Here.
-No, I'll... I'll...
84
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,235
Sure.
85
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:39,112
We should put some cold water on this.
86
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,364
It was nice meeting you.
87
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:44,117
Thanks for the coffee.
88
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,246
-They seem nice.
-Yeah, don't they?
89
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:50,373
Where do you know them from?
90
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:53,126
Oh... Well you know, from around.
91
00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:56,171
Like a hundred years ago.
92
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,465
It's a past life.
93
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:06,765
Two hours later,
it was time for the opening day party.
94
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:08,016
It was lovely.
95
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:10,393
Caviar, silent auctions,
96
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:11,812
and landmines.
97
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,271
Where's Paul Bunyan?
98
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:18,276
If you're referring to my boyfriend,
he's doing business.
99
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,487
Ooh, he's a big 'un.
100
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,697
Where'd he learn to whittle like that?
101
00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:25,242
How many drinks have you had?
102
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,576
Not nearly enough.
103
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:36,795
So...
104
00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:38,922
How are you?
105
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:40,841
I'm great.
106
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,010
And Daniel Boone, is he a nice guy?
107
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,471
His name is Aidan.
108
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:47,848
Tsk!
109
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,475
Where's your sense of humor?
110
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:51,977
Where's your wife?
111
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,396
Guarding her bid on the silent auction.
112
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,356
She's got her eye on a beige chair.
113
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:59,985
Everything in my apartment is now beige.
114
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,111
Beige...
115
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:02,612
is bullshit.
116
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,197
I thought you wanted beige.
117
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:05,866
Yeah, well...
118
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:07,033
It doesn't quite...
119
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:09,619
fit.
120
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,662
Hey, you got a smoke?
121
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,497
I quit.
122
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,916
Oh, we always used to share
a cigarette together.
123
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,586
We did a lot of things
that were bad for me together.
124
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,422
I have a secret to tell you.
125
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,260
It's not working.
126
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,555
I'm getting out.
127
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,725
If you know anyone who's interested...
128
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,853
You should really keep that to yourself.
129
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,647
No one is interested
in that information.
130
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,033
-Big's leaving his wife.
-I knew it.
131
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:48,950
-Oh, my God!
-No!
132
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,785
He got drunk
and told me at the furniture show.
133
00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:52,287
What was he doing at the furniture show?
134
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,664
-Drinking and leaving his wife.
-Oh, my God.
135
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,041
Well, let's just say it, you won.
136
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,335
-Was there a contest?
-Oh, please.
137
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,504
There's always a contest with an ex.
It's called Who'll Die Miserable?
138
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:04,466
-What did he say?
-He said, "It's not working out."
139
00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:07,510
And then he leaned in and said,
140
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,554
"If you know anyone who's interested..."
141
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:11,097
-Well...
142
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,599
You don't know anyone who's interested.
143
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,517
He's married, Carrie.
Carrie, he's married.
144
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,019
Charlotte, I think
I'm aware of that fact.
145
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,312
Why is he telling you?
146
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,981
I don't know,
to save postage on his newsletter?
147
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,858
-What are you gonna do?
-I'm not gonna do anything.
148
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,568
She's not gonna do anything.
149
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,362
Okay, you need to take a big breath
'cause you're starting to bug me.
150
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,573
How dare he say that to you.
Married men never leave their wives.
151
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:31,993
Even if he did, I have no intention
of doing anything, for two reasons.
152
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:35,330
First, I have a great boyfriend,
and second, I'm not insane.
153
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:36,831
So, let's order.
154
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:38,667
What do winners order?
155
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,669
Didn't you feel like punching him?
156
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,045
No.
157
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,755
It was too sad or something.
158
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,298
I would have punched him.
159
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,008
No, it is sad.
160
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,427
How long has he been married?
What, seven months?
161
00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:51,554
Hmm. The seven-month itch.
162
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:55,058
Well, that's what happens when people
jump into relationships too quickly.
163
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,186
I resent that.
164
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,189
Trey and I are nothing
like Big and Natasha.
165
00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:03,358
Don't listen to her, she's mid-breakup.
166
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:04,526
Thanks for the update.
167
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:07,195
We're not like Big.
Trey and I really love each other.
168
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,072
-Who wants to split a Reuben?
- In fact,
169
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:14,244
I'm meeting his mother this week,
and if all goes well...
170
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,704
If all goes well, what?
171
00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:19,040
Trey is this close to proposing.
I can feel it.
172
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,083
Oh, my God, really?
173
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:23,169
You just met.
I've had pairs of pantyhose longer.
174
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:26,381
Miranda, it's not logical, this is love.
175
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,425
It's not logical, it's right.
176
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,593
In my heart, I feel it's right.
177
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,345
Okay, whatever.
178
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:37,100
So...
179
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:39,019
How did he look?
180
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:49,279
Okay. I'll take it.
181
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,866
As Miranda looked around
the basement apartment,
182
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,826
she realized the contest was over.
183
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,954
Steve was the ex that was going
to die alone and miserable.
184
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,456
You can't live here.
185
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:01,124
What...
186
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:03,752
-It's not that bad.
-It's not that bad?
187
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:05,128
It's the doorway to hell.
188
00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:08,381
There's got to be a better place.
I'll help you look.
189
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,383
Guilt?
190
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,177
Probably.
191
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,804
I mean, I broke up with him.
192
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,640
And he's got no money,
no savings, no nothing.
193
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:21,269
There should be some sort of
city-funded break-up housing
194
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,772
-for those who find themselves in need.
-Really.
195
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:26,775
Like a big orphanage
filled with white beds
196
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:29,277
where old boyfriends
could think about what they did wrong
197
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,822
and cry themselves to sleep
in a clean, safe environment.
198
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:37,410
You think maybe
you don't really want him to move away?
199
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,579
No, it's not that simple.
200
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,706
My head tells me
it's time for him to leave,
201
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,375
but the idea of him moving
to a basement apartment
202
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:47,921
on the corner of Depressing
and West Shit Street breaks my heart.
203
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,716
It's a pretty common belief
that women tend to use
204
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,760
the left, more emotional side
of their brain,
205
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:56,638
and men, the right, more logical side.
206
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:58,723
But is it really that cut and dry?
207
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,434
It seems that
when it comes to affairs of the heart,
208
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:04,521
there's a battle between
what we know and what we feel.
209
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,065
So, what do you do
when you find yourself in a situation
210
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,818
that leaps back and forth
between the left and the right side?
211
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,986
When it comes to relationships,
212
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:15,031
is it smarter to follow your heart
or your head?
213
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,701
This is Trey the summer
he graduated from medical school.
214
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:22,163
Later that week, Charlotte met
the head and heart of Trey's family.
215
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,873
His mother, Bunny MacDougal.
216
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:27,293
Trey, you look so cute
in a cap and gown.
217
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:30,505
That's just before we jumped in
the fountain and all hell broke loose.
218
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,425
Mother, what's next? Boy Scout snaps?
219
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:37,554
Count your blessings I didn't bring
the one on the bearskin rug.
220
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,723
You'll have to excuse her, Charlotte.
She's a bit of a camera Nazi.
221
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,561
Well, if you insist on dragging us
down memory lane,
222
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,229
I'm getting a real drink. Excuse me.
223
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,731
-Glenlivet, rocks, please.
-Yes, sir.
224
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,734
Maybe you should have
a red wine instead.
225
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:52,902
Better for the heart.
226
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:54,904
All righty.
227
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,240
- Red wine.
- Oh, Thomas,
228
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,868
we'd love some more
of these nibbly cheese things.
229
00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:01,411
- Very good, ma'am.
- Thank you.
230
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:05,748
He's older than water,
but never forgets a martini.
231
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,628
So, do you play tennis?
232
00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:11,546
Mmm-hmm.
233
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,047
I like her.
234
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,008
-Join the club.
235
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,760
What are you two lovebirds
doing tonight?
236
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,722
We've got dinner reservations at Cloche.
237
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,515
I was there last week.
238
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:25,643
Disappointing crab,
and the host was rude.
239
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:30,940
Maybe you should go
to Côte Basque instead.
240
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:32,859
All righty.
241
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,653
Charlotte was impressed
with Bunny's technique.
242
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:38,114
Trey had been looking forward to Cloche
all week.
243
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:43,161
Meanwhile, Downtown,
Samantha was entertaining Adam Ball,
244
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,872
a film editor
who made a very lucrative living
245
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,291
cutting the coming attractions
for film companies.
246
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,669
I'm cumming. I'm cumming.
247
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,592
Oh, man.
248
00:11:58,301 --> 00:11:59,844
Oh, you give good head.
249
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,519
I'm dating a guy
with the funkiest tasting spunk.
250
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,737
And she's never coming back.
251
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,490
Well, I'm sorry,
but who else can I talk to about this?
252
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,116
Might I suggest no one?
253
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,952
You're my girlfriends, help me.
254
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:25,870
Have you ever had this problem?
255
00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,956
Not really, but I have to admit,
256
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:30,541
it's never exactly been
a trip to Baskin-Robbins.
257
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:35,004
Well, this guy is very sour.
Like asparagus gone bad or something.
258
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,173
-Can I cancel my rice pudding? Thanks.
- Sure thing.
259
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:40,218
Beautiful guy, great in bed,
it's so disappointing.
260
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,679
It's like getting a bad bottle
of Beaujolais Nouveau
261
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:43,846
the first day of season.
262
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,473
It has a lot to do with nutrition.
263
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:48,559
I once dated a smoker
and it affected how his tasted.
264
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:50,019
They should put that
on the side of the pack
265
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,646
if they want to cut back sales.
266
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:54,148
Maybe there's something
he could eat to make it sweeter?
267
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:55,858
Maybe you should write
to Martha Stewart.
268
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,528
"Dear Martha, funky spunk. Help."
269
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:02,407
-"Dear Funky Spunk, try a hint of mint."
270
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,367
No, no, no, it's not just asparagus.
271
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,202
It's asparagus and something else.
272
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,870
I know, Clorox!
273
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:10,331
Well, at least you'll get
your whites whiter.
274
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,041
This is serious, I almost gagged.
275
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,043
-Oh, well, that is serious.
-What am I gonna do?
276
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,378
Just don't give him head again.
277
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,298
Hmm. I never even thought of that.
278
00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:20,425
So, what, casual head is back now?
279
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:23,428
Oh, it's fine.
He's healthy and I don't swallow.
280
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:26,514
Well, as long as you and the Center
for Disease Control are fine with it.
281
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:29,434
Of course, he just loves getting head.
But then, what man doesn't?
282
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,936
You know, if the whole
cum situation were reversed,
283
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,272
do you think that men would even
get anywhere near the stuff?
284
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:36,566
Well, maybe, if it tasted like beer.
285
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:42,405
Later that day,
Miranda came home to something
286
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,781
that was even harder to swallow.
287
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:46,743
You have one new message.
288
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,704
Hi, if this is Steve's number...
289
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:52,874
This is Mira. We met last night.
290
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:55,501
I'm the advertising exec
who ordered the Amstel Light.
291
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,212
Steve, if this is you, call me.
292
00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:00,131
I'd love to go to a movie sometime.
293
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:04,886
Today, 12:22 p.m.
294
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:08,306
And on an answering machine
across town...
295
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,186
You have one new message.
296
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:15,229
Hi, it's me.
297
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,982
I need to talk to you
about what I said the other day.
298
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,068
It's important, please call.
299
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:21,611
-You know my cell number.
300
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,154
The right side of my brain
told me
301
00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:24,739
the right thing was to delete it.
302
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,491
But I left it.
303
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:29,243
It's important, please call.
You know my cell number.
304
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:32,497
Seven playbacks later,
I invited over an impartial judge.
305
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,290
-Well?
-You should have punched him.
306
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:37,126
He wants to get back together, right?
I mean, that's the tone.
307
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:40,630
The "hi" and then the "it's important."
Is that what that means?
308
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,049
Carrie, we could analyze this for years
and never know.
309
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,301
I mean, they still don't know
who killed Kennedy.
310
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,637
Well, what should I do?
311
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,305
Well, it's pretty obvious
what you want to do
312
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,182
or you wouldn't still
be listening to this message.
313
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:55,103
And by the way, what happened
to the "not insane" part of you?
314
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,187
I don't know.
315
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,773
After the fifth playback,
he got in a little.
316
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:02,193
-Ugh! God, I hate my machine.
-Yeah.
317
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,694
I hate mine too.
318
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:07,156
Steve got a message
from some girl executive
319
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,991
desperate for him to go to a movie.
320
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:09,909
Already?
321
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,995
-He's still on your couch.
-I know, it's amazing.
322
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:16,082
A 34-year-old guy
with no money and no place to live,
323
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:17,917
because he's single, he's a catch.
324
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,295
But a 34-year-old woman
with a job and a great home,
325
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,548
because she's single,
is considered tragic.
326
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:24,841
So depressing.
327
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,802
Let's listen to that message again.
328
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,138
I'm deleting it.
329
00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,515
But it wasn't that simple.
330
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:35,143
As soon as Miranda left,
I stood and watched my emotions
331
00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:37,061
overrule both sides of my brain.
332
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,357
-Hello?
-It's Carrie.
333
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:44,110
Oh, hey.
Yeah, thanks for calling.
334
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:47,822
Look, it's about what I said
about getting out of my marriage.
335
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,950
I didn't know why I called,
I didn't even know what I really wanted,
336
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,161
but suddenly my heart was racing.
337
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,371
I thought about it.
338
00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:58,207
And it's going to cost me a lot.
339
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,294
So, maybe you should
forget about what I said.
340
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:03,754
I mean...
341
00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:06,048
I figure I made my bed,
I should lie in it.
342
00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:07,925
You do that.
343
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,179
It was just what I needed.
344
00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:14,390
A big shock treatment
to jolt me right back to sanity.
345
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,394
You have cracks.
346
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:20,688
Excuse me?
347
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,149
The ceiling.
348
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:24,692
Oh.
349
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,320
How long have they been there?
350
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,739
Just three years.
351
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,365
Oh, just three years?
352
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:38,080
Don't take this the wrong way,
but this place could use a little work.
353
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,416
I know, but I can't afford it.
354
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,585
You've got 8,000 bucks
worth of shoes over there.
355
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,504
-I needed those.
-Oh.
356
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:49,717
You could do little things.
Plaster, strip the floors.
357
00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:52,220
You have no idea how beautiful it'd be
358
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,555
if we took it down a level.
359
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,059
I don't know how to do that stuff.
360
00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:59,143
I do.
361
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,979
Let me strip your floors.
362
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,439
Isn't that a lot of work?
363
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,567
Nah. It'll just take a day.
You won't even know I'm here.
364
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:07,652
You sure?
365
00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:11,072
-Really?
-A special lady needs a special home.
366
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:19,956
Here in my arms was a guy
who wanted to make my home better,
367
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:23,251
and somewhere out there
was a guy who wanted to pull it apart.
368
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:26,921
It wasn't a left- or right-brainer.
It was a no-brainer.
369
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:29,423
Tell me why we're here, again?
370
00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:31,425
I'm making an effort to eat better.
371
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:35,429
After a quick browse
on the healthysperm.com web page,
372
00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:37,723
Samantha invited Adam Ball to dinner.
373
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:42,103
Okay. Here are your wheatgrass shots.
374
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,648
And I'll be right back with menus.
375
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,114
I can't drink that.
376
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,658
Oh, try it. It's very good for you.
377
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:57,910
Bottoms up.
378
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,419
Mmm.
379
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,845
Oh, man, that shit is funky.
380
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:18,347
Samantha had to fight
every urge she had
381
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,850
not to tell Adam Ball
he didn't know from funky.
382
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:25,354
How long does it take for the wheatgrass
to work its way into your system?
383
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,857
Uh, hard to say.
384
00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:29,525
Ballpark?
385
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:31,485
An hour and a half.
386
00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:32,612
Oh.
387
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:33,863
We should order.
388
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,699
An hour and a half,
two wheatgrass shots,
389
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,826
and a ginger melon smoothie later...
390
00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:41,120
I'm cumming. I'm cumming.
391
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,873
I'm cumming!
392
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:47,835
Oh, man, man, man. You give good head.
393
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:54,425
Oh, baby.
394
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:01,390
-Mmm.
-What? You don't like your salad?
395
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,393
No, the dressing's a tad... something.
396
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:05,645
-Excuse me.
-Yes, sir?
397
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:08,606
I'd like to change this
for the arugula and endive, please.
398
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:09,690
Certainly.
399
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,568
Maybe you should try
the tomato basil, it's sweeter.
400
00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:14,195
All righty.
401
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,494
I have to say,
Mum is quite taken with you.
402
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:23,996
-She is?
-Why wouldn't she be?
403
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:25,581
You're exquisite.
404
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,251
You really are a dream come true.
405
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,295
Charlotte knew
this was the moment.
406
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:35,049
That magic moment where Trey
was going to ask her to be his wife.
407
00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:38,302
Charlotte?
408
00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:39,595
Yes?
409
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:42,932
Tomato and basil?
410
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:44,558
Yes.
411
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:48,896
Enjoy.
412
00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:52,983
Doesn't this look like
a little plate of heaven? Oh!
413
00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,986
This basil is perfection.
414
00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,072
What is it about you, Charlotte?
415
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,825
You always seem to know
just what I want.
416
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:06,080
Maybe we should get married.
417
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:07,707
All righty.
418
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:11,919
Mmm.
419
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:13,629
Mmm!
420
00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:16,006
I'm engaged.
421
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,134
Oh, my God! Really?
422
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,553
Oh, that's wonderful, sweetie.
423
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,221
I proposed to myself.
424
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,099
-What?
-Yes.
425
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:27,435
I suggested he have a tomato salad,
426
00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:29,520
then I suggested we get married.
427
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,272
Wait, what exactly did he say?
428
00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:33,065
"All righty."
429
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,486
"All righty"? He said, "All righty"?
430
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:40,072
Now I'm thinking the upsetting thing
isn't that you proposed,
431
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:42,158
it's that you proposed to a guy
who says "all righty."
432
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,452
-Oh, Carrie, stop.
-All righty.
433
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,704
I was the one
who was supposed to say yes.
434
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:49,623
Oh, who cares about those stupid rules?
435
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:50,833
I do.
436
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:54,003
Look, you're overreacting.
You love Trey, right?
437
00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:56,380
And you want to marry him, right?
438
00:20:57,548 --> 00:20:58,549
Yes, but...
439
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:03,888
There was no kneeling,
there was no ring, no nothing.
440
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,682
This is an awful engagement story.
441
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,517
What am I supposed to tell my kids?
442
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,686
Well, Mommy really wanted
to get married,
443
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,646
so Daddy said, "All righty."
444
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:15,816
It's so unromantic.
445
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:16,734
Oh.
446
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:30,831
Steve?
447
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:32,625
The dog.
448
00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:43,594
Steve, it's 4:00 a.m.
449
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:51,560
Miranda realized
he was with the girl executive.
450
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,395
It was officially over.
451
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:55,523
She finally got it into her head.
452
00:21:59,902 --> 00:22:00,945
Hey.
453
00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:11,080
-Morning.
-Morning.
454
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:12,957
I took the dog out already.
455
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:15,292
Thanks, um, I was--
456
00:22:15,376 --> 00:22:17,169
There's coffee, and, um,
457
00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:20,089
I circled a bunch of apartments
in The Village Voice that sound good.
458
00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:22,883
I should probably
get out of here today, um...
459
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:25,302
Thanks for letting me
sleep on your couch.
460
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,012
You're welcome.
461
00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:40,359
I think we did pretty good.
462
00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:44,071
We did us proud.
463
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:46,407
Steve...
464
00:22:47,908 --> 00:22:48,909
Never mind.
465
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:50,369
What?
466
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:54,790
I was gonna say, "Keep in touch,"
but that's weird, right?
467
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:56,292
That would be weird.
468
00:22:57,293 --> 00:22:58,586
I guess we could do that.
469
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:28,240
Aidan!
470
00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:33,662
-Aidan!
471
00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:38,042
You said I wouldn't be bothered.
472
00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:39,835
I'm... I'm bothered.
473
00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:40,961
It's too loud?
474
00:23:41,045 --> 00:23:43,839
Yeah, and I can't work through that.
I've got a deadline.
475
00:23:44,340 --> 00:23:45,549
Take my keys, go to my house.
476
00:23:45,633 --> 00:23:48,719
No, no, I can't write there,
'cause Pete's jumping all over me,
477
00:23:48,802 --> 00:23:50,179
he's deleting things.
478
00:23:51,055 --> 00:23:52,514
You know what, I'm leaving.
If anyone calls,
479
00:23:52,598 --> 00:23:54,183
I'll be at the Stanhope Hotel
around the corner.
480
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:57,519
-At least let me pay for it.
-No, no, no. I got it, I got it.
481
00:23:58,312 --> 00:24:00,564
See, this is why
I don't do home repairs.
482
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:02,691
Unforeseen costs.
483
00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:04,360
You're gonna love these floors!
484
00:24:04,818 --> 00:24:06,528
Mum was beside herself.
485
00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:10,032
She immediately demanded your address
so she could send flowers.
486
00:24:10,115 --> 00:24:11,241
That's nice.
487
00:24:11,325 --> 00:24:13,452
Charlotte had done
the impossible in New York.
488
00:24:13,535 --> 00:24:16,038
She was engaged to her heart's desire.
489
00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:19,208
Unfortunately, she couldn't get
the way it happened out of her head.
490
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:20,292
Wait.
491
00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:23,003
I think we should stop here
for a minute.
492
00:24:26,674 --> 00:24:28,092
Maybe we should go in there
493
00:24:28,175 --> 00:24:30,511
and find you
the most beautiful ring that they have.
494
00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:34,014
-All righty!
495
00:24:35,182 --> 00:24:37,851
From that moment on,
Charlotte would tell everyone,
496
00:24:37,935 --> 00:24:41,063
that right in front of Tiffany's,
out of nowhere,
497
00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:43,774
Trey popped the question and she said,
498
00:24:44,191 --> 00:24:45,234
"All righty."
499
00:24:59,415 --> 00:25:02,626
I'm not really
in the mood for that tonight.
500
00:25:02,710 --> 00:25:05,045
Oh, come on, baby,
you give the greatest head, please.
501
00:25:05,129 --> 00:25:06,171
Uh-uh.
502
00:25:06,255 --> 00:25:07,589
Not gonna happen.
503
00:25:07,673 --> 00:25:08,924
What's the problem?
504
00:25:12,261 --> 00:25:13,971
Well, Adam...
505
00:25:15,264 --> 00:25:17,558
you've got some funky tasting spunk.
506
00:25:17,641 --> 00:25:18,600
What?
507
00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:20,978
You heard me. Your spunk is funky.
508
00:25:22,021 --> 00:25:23,313
My spunk?
509
00:25:23,397 --> 00:25:25,899
Cum, spooge, jizz, joy juice.
510
00:25:25,983 --> 00:25:26,984
Funky.
511
00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:29,445
Man, I have heard some far-out excuses
for not giving head,
512
00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:30,654
but this one takes the cake.
513
00:25:30,738 --> 00:25:31,655
Excuse me?
514
00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:34,992
You're one of them two-blow job chicks.
515
00:25:35,075 --> 00:25:36,702
You put blow jobs
in the coming attractions
516
00:25:36,785 --> 00:25:38,454
that I'm never gonna see
in the actual movie.
517
00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:39,955
I resent that!
518
00:25:40,330 --> 00:25:41,665
I love giving head.
519
00:25:41,749 --> 00:25:43,459
Well, then come on, give me a little BJ.
520
00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:45,544
Up and down a couple of times,
you're done.
521
00:25:45,627 --> 00:25:47,004
-It's easy.
-Easy?
522
00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:50,257
You men have no idea
what we're dealing with down there.
523
00:25:50,674 --> 00:25:54,011
Teeth placement and jaw stress
and suction and gag reflex.
524
00:25:54,094 --> 00:25:56,263
And all the while bobbing up and down,
525
00:25:56,346 --> 00:25:58,182
moaning and trying to breathe
through our noses.
526
00:25:58,265 --> 00:25:59,433
Easy? Honey!
527
00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:02,019
They don't call it a job for nothing.
528
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,440
Now, having said all that,
529
00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:08,859
with the right man, it can be fabulous.
530
00:26:11,278 --> 00:26:14,656
That is,
unless the man in question has spunk
531
00:26:14,740 --> 00:26:17,159
that's like a trip
to the rotten egg buffet.
532
00:26:17,618 --> 00:26:20,621
Come on, it can't be that bad.
533
00:26:22,623 --> 00:26:24,500
I'll make a deal with you.
534
00:26:25,667 --> 00:26:26,835
You try it.
535
00:26:27,753 --> 00:26:29,296
If you're fine with it,
536
00:26:30,380 --> 00:26:31,673
I'll be fine with it.
537
00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:33,884
I can't do that.
538
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:37,846
-It's gay.
-It's not gay if it's you.
539
00:26:39,223 --> 00:26:40,307
Take it or leave it.
540
00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:42,267
Ten minutes later,
541
00:26:42,351 --> 00:26:44,895
Samantha learned just how far
a man would go for a blow job.
542
00:26:48,607 --> 00:26:49,942
I'm fine with it.
543
00:26:55,239 --> 00:26:56,698
Samantha kept her word.
544
00:26:56,782 --> 00:26:59,368
She gave him head,
but her heart wasn't in it.
545
00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:10,212
-Hello.
- It's me.
546
00:27:10,754 --> 00:27:12,089
I'm in the lobby.
547
00:27:12,172 --> 00:27:13,549
How did you know I was here?
548
00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:15,050
That guy at your place.
549
00:27:15,509 --> 00:27:17,177
You called my house again?
550
00:27:17,261 --> 00:27:18,679
I have to talk to you.
551
00:27:18,762 --> 00:27:21,431
Yeah, I have to talk to you too.
Stay in the lobby, I'll be right down.
552
00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:23,183
Shit.
553
00:27:37,614 --> 00:27:38,866
This is not the lobby.
554
00:27:39,533 --> 00:27:40,701
Sit down, have a drink.
555
00:27:40,784 --> 00:27:42,327
What are you doing?
You're calling my house,
556
00:27:42,411 --> 00:27:44,079
you follow me to hotels?
557
00:27:44,163 --> 00:27:47,666
Could you please sit down
for one minute and listen to me?
558
00:27:47,749 --> 00:27:49,209
Please, one minute.
559
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,549
You know, I don't have time for this.
I have a boyfriend and a deadline.
560
00:27:55,632 --> 00:27:58,093
And you have a wife
and apparently a drinking problem.
561
00:27:58,177 --> 00:28:00,137
-I'm not drunk.
-Then what is your excuse?
562
00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:01,763
Will you slow down? I can't think.
563
00:28:07,769 --> 00:28:09,771
I was an asshole to you
on the phone the other day.
564
00:28:09,855 --> 00:28:10,772
Yes.
565
00:28:11,857 --> 00:28:14,067
When I said I was leaving,
you didn't say anything,
566
00:28:14,151 --> 00:28:15,736
so I got nervous, so I...
567
00:28:15,819 --> 00:28:17,279
So, what?
568
00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:18,363
So...
569
00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:20,782
I don't know.
570
00:28:20,866 --> 00:28:22,409
You know, this has to stop.
571
00:28:22,492 --> 00:28:26,496
The flirting and the jerking me around
and the calling my boyfriend.
572
00:28:27,039 --> 00:28:27,915
He doesn't know about you
573
00:28:27,998 --> 00:28:29,625
and I don't want him
to ever know about you.
574
00:28:30,250 --> 00:28:31,126
Why is that?
575
00:28:31,210 --> 00:28:32,961
Oh, go lay in your beige bed.
576
00:28:42,638 --> 00:28:44,348
Carrie! Wait, wait.
577
00:28:44,932 --> 00:28:46,934
I haven't explained this very well.
578
00:28:47,017 --> 00:28:48,644
Now, wait a minute. Listen.
579
00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:50,437
-The thing is--
580
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:51,939
Fuck! I miss you.
581
00:28:52,022 --> 00:28:53,023
Too bad.
582
00:28:54,650 --> 00:28:57,236
Do not come in here.
Don't follow me in here!
583
00:28:57,319 --> 00:28:58,570
-I have to talk to you.
-What?
584
00:28:58,654 --> 00:29:00,697
What is it? What is it you have to say?
585
00:29:01,531 --> 00:29:02,699
I made a mistake.
586
00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:06,370
Fuck you.
587
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,121
I love you.
588
00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:12,251
Fuck you.
589
00:29:16,922 --> 00:29:19,132
My mind was yelling
how angry I was,
590
00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:20,884
but my heart...
591
00:29:21,510 --> 00:29:22,511
My heart...
592
00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:23,595
Fuck me.
593
00:29:43,573 --> 00:29:46,034
And just like that, I lost my head.