1
00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:02,646
Yes?
2
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:05,107
-Room service.
3
00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:10,612
We've got to stop meeting like this.
4
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,991
You've been waiting your whole life
to say that.
5
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,997
I have to be some place in three hours.
6
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,835
Why is your skin so soft?
7
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:27,462
When Charles Dickens wrote,
8
00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:31,091
"It was the best of times,
it was the worst of times, "
9
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:34,553
I believe he must have been having
an affair with his married ex-boyfriend.
10
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,396
-Yeah?
- It's me.
11
00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:49,276
You know, you can't just keep
changing the time around like this.
12
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:50,736
I have a schedule too.
13
00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:51,945
Fine, I'm sorry.
14
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,698
Well, let's get those panties off.
15
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,325
Wait, I have to put my diaphragm in.
16
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,368
-I have to be at work in 40 minutes.
-I know.
17
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:03,874
Our affair, like our hotels,
had gone from elegant with crystal
18
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,792
to seedy with plastic cups.
19
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:10,756
Cracker?
20
00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:19,264
God, it's hot in here!
21
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,892
It's hot
and the windows don't even open.
22
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,686
I hate those little
sliding air strip things.
23
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:28,106
Me, I need air.
24
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,067
You picked the hotel.
25
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:32,986
I picked it
because it's on 56th and 8th.
26
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,530
Nobody knows us on 56th and 8th.
27
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:37,366
56th and 8th is safe.
28
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:38,909
I don't give a fuck who sees us.
29
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:42,454
Yes, you do. And I do too.
You want people to get hurt?
30
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:46,041
This room smells like take-out curry.
31
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,170
Hey.
32
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,297
Hey.
33
00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:00,305
It's too hot.
I can't do this, I can't do this.
34
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,933
What, are you saving it
for your boyfriend?
35
00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,977
-Carrie...
-No!
36
00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:08,188
You don't talk to me that way!
37
00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:14,361
I'm sorry. I'm...
38
00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:17,739
I'm sorry.
39
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:19,491
Jesus.
40
00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:22,953
How did we get here?
41
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,126
Who are we?
42
00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:44,975
-Here we go.
- Thanks.
43
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,853
Okay, I have something to tell you,
and you're not gonna like it.
44
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:51,690
And believe me I would rather
tell anyone but you. But I have to.
45
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,401
-Okay.
-Because I need your help.
46
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:55,318
Okay.
47
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:58,196
I'm having an affair with Big.
48
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,158
I swear to God,
I think my heart just stopped.
49
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:06,037
And also, I'm smoking again.
I'm smoking, and I'm sleeping with Big.
50
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:08,165
Feel free to delete me
out of your Palm Pilot.
51
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,166
Give me one.
52
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,002
-Really?
-I think I need it.
53
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,379
Oh, you are such a good friend.
54
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:16,631
Don't inhale.
55
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,390
Do you hate me? Say you don't hate me.
56
00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:26,308
I don't hate you.
57
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,310
Thank you. Now if only I didn't hate me.
58
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,937
-How long has it been going on?
-Forever!
59
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:33,398
Actual time, three weeks.
60
00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:36,401
I'm in the middle of this
and I can't... I can't see.
61
00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:38,445
So I need you to yank me out of it.
62
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,822
You have to say stuff
to yank me out of it.
63
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:44,409
-What about Aidan?
-Yes, exactly! What about Aidan?
64
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,828
What about him?
65
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,830
I would die if he found out.
66
00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:50,665
And now Big's acting jealous,
67
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:53,710
and I'm so afraid that he's gonna
call him or do something stupid.
68
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:55,420
He's already threatened to tell Natasha.
69
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,172
Well, what did you think would happen?
70
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:58,840
I didn't think, I just did.
71
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,259
And now I'm terrified
that we've messed it all up
72
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,386
and it can never be
what it was supposed to be.
73
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:06,431
It's just a big, big mess.
74
00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,892
Okay, take it easy, okay?
75
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,144
I'm just so confused.
76
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,605
I mean, does he only want me now
because he can't have me?
77
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:14,523
Yes.
78
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,609
-How do you really feel?
-Forget about him, what do you want?
79
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:22,155
I want everyone to get out of this
without anyone getting hurt.
80
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,616
-Well, that's realistic.
-Well, why not?
81
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:28,036
You've heard those stories about affairs
82
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:31,957
where people realize
how great their other relationship is
83
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,084
and end it
without anyone being the wiser?
84
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,628
I don't watch
Lifetime television for women.
85
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:40,131
Carrie, you have to just stop, okay?
86
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:41,758
Just stop.
87
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,134
I am, I'm stopping.
88
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,387
I am.
89
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,097
Good.
90
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,640
Who else knows about this?
91
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:51,810
-Samantha. Oh, and God.
-Not Charlotte?
92
00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:54,896
Oh, please, if the World According
to Bride knew I was having an affair,
93
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:55,856
she'd kill me.
94
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,899
Well, at least you wouldn't
have to be a bridesmaid.
95
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:03,405
While Miranda was trying
not to judge me on the Upper East Side,
96
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:07,325
Samantha was judging the crowd at
a new hot spot on the Lower West Side.
97
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,745
It was a typical Downtown male mix.
98
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:13,874
10% Wall Street, 10% real estate,
99
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,625
10% she'd already slept with.
100
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,880
His name was Tom Reymi.
101
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:22,424
Excuse me.
102
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,509
A Manhattan legend.
103
00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:28,972
Straight, steadfastly single,
and sexually very active.
104
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,308
In short, the male Samantha.
105
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,643
Hi. I'm Tom Reymi.
106
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,313
-I know who you are, I'm--
-Oh, I know who you are.
107
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,772
It's about time we met.
108
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,774
We know the same people,
109
00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:41,443
we should go to dinner,
blah, blah, blah.
110
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,028
Wanna fuck?
111
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,822
Under a minute,
you could qualify for the Olympics.
112
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,407
My place is--
113
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:52,913
So...
114
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:54,873
Do you swing?
115
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,583
Swing?
116
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,044
You mean with other couples?
117
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:01,713
No.
118
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,091
Swing.
119
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,888
Oh, my! So Cirque du Soleil.
120
00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:12,307
You haven't fucked
till you've fucked in the swing.
121
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:15,268
I've always wanted to run off
and join the circus.
122
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,105
So, Samantha...
123
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,025
When was your last AIDS test?
124
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,153
Well, so much for foreplay.
125
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:28,531
Hey, anyone who has as much sex as us
has to ask, right?
126
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,410
I was tested again three weeks ago.
127
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,245
I'm good to go.
128
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:35,580
How about you?
129
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:38,375
Samantha didn't quite know
how to tell Tom Reymi
130
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,419
the only sex test she'd ever taken
was the Cosmo quiz.
131
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,921
You have been tested, right?
132
00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:47,342
No, but I'm very healthy.
133
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,052
You haven't been tested? Why?
134
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,262
I'm a busy girl?
135
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:52,347
You know,
136
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:55,517
I got hard in that club
just from looking at you.
137
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:56,768
And I think you and I both know
138
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,603
what's gonna happen
when we get up in that swing.
139
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,480
But, baby,
140
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,692
I can't fuck you
or eat you the way I want
141
00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:05,110
unless I know it's safe.
142
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,071
And, Samantha,
143
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:09,948
you should do me.
144
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,867
I am as good as they say.
145
00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,870
Samantha suddenly
had to figure out
146
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:18,748
just how much she wanted to do Reymi.
147
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:24,421
The pink Post-its are for the gowns
I kind of like,
148
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,090
the green Post-its are for the gowns
I kind of really like,
149
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,968
and the yellow Post-its are for
the gowns I don't know if I like. Here.
150
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,553
Kill me, please.
151
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:34,222
Just take a sharp object
and drag it across my throat.
152
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,933
Stop. Miranda, you take Modern Bride.
153
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,227
Samantha. New York Bride.
154
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,021
And I'll take what, annoying bride?
155
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:44,024
Here, Carrie. Page 211, pink Post-it,
tell me what you think.
156
00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:46,776
-Okey dokey.
-Ooh! Cute purse.
157
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,488
No purses. There's no time for purses.
This is gown-specific.
158
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,699
What's your theme again, a Nazi wedding?
159
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:53,992
Carrie, page 211?
160
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,578
Um, it's pretty.
I like the flowers in the back.
161
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,997
Me too.
And I like that old-fashioned satin bow.
162
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,124
Have you all had an AIDS test?
163
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,753
Good morning. Where did that come from?
164
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,964
I just met this very hot guy,
165
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,216
and he won't sleep with me
unless I have a test.
166
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:13,678
Samantha, we're looking
at wedding gowns.
167
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,930
Could you please not talk about AIDS
right now?
168
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,807
Wait a minute.
You've never had an HIV test?
169
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,684
No. Have you?
170
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,186
Two.
171
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:22,937
Three.
172
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,523
How do we feel about
opera-length gloves?
173
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,985
Samantha, how can you
not have had an AIDS test?
174
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,279
She doesn't mean that the way it sounds.
It's just...
175
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,115
Well, why not, sweetie?
176
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,534
I always practice safe sex.
177
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,538
All right, I'm terrified.
178
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,666
-What if I have it?
-You don't have it.
179
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,878
Sometimes it takes me a really long time
to get over a cold.
180
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,797
That's not AIDS,
that's central air conditioning.
181
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,924
Just go and get it over with.
The test is nothing.
182
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,550
The worst part
is waiting for the results.
183
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,178
Really. And then
they come out with the results
184
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,679
and they motion to certain people
185
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,724
and they take them into this little room
and you know the news ain't good.
186
00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:01,559
I just sat there
the entire time praying,
187
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,645
"Please don't take me
in that little room."
188
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:09,234
There are 1,400 gowns in this magazine
and I have only seen 600 of them.
189
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:10,151
I need help.
190
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,069
Okay, listen.
191
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:13,404
You need to chill the fuck out
and hire yourself a stylist.
192
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,824
-A stylist?
-Some little minion to run around town
193
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:16,908
and do your dress bidding.
194
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:19,202
I can hire someone to do that for me?
195
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:22,622
Oh, honey, this is New York City,
you can hire someone to do anything.
196
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:23,957
I'll fax you some names.
197
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,501
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
198
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,962
Now, if I could only hire someone
to take that damn test.
199
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,383
Later that night,
I got to thinking about safe sex.
200
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,386
Odd, how only when
our physical life is at risk
201
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,639
do we follow certain guidelines
to protect ourselves.
202
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,683
But what about our emotional lives?
203
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,103
Wouldn't it be nice if there was
a little pamphlet to warn us
204
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:49,149
what unsafe behavior might be high-risk
to ourselves or our relationships?
205
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:53,361
And even if you take all the precautions
and emotionally try to protect yourself,
206
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,781
when you crawl in bed with someone,
207
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,242
is sex ever safe?
208
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,829
Yeah, I know,
but that's not my problem. All right.
209
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,581
The next day,
on her way back to work,
210
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:08,084
Miranda was about to experience
a different type of high-risk behavior.
211
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,085
Eat me.
212
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,462
Excuse me?
213
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:13,089
Eat me.
214
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,887
Miranda was furious.
215
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:21,306
It was bad enough
she had just lost a case,
216
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:24,184
but now she was being harassed
by a sandwich?
217
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,937
You want pasta, you go to Little Italy.
218
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,106
You want wedding, you go Wang.
219
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,900
You want
the perfect wedding dress fast,
220
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,277
go to Anthony Marantino, stylist.
221
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,695
Where is that salesgirl?
222
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:39,240
For these prices, we should be pulling
her nose out of our asses.
223
00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:43,453
Hello! Someone! Let's go!
224
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,038
Charlotte was thrilled.
225
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:48,458
Anthony was like
the pushy Italian mother she never had.
226
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,586
Go, go, go!
227
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,798
Oh, I love them all.
228
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:57,258
Char...
229
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,015
Duchess satin with the lace appliqué.
230
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,687
I think the white is too white.
231
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:11,522
No, but with your skin tone--
232
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,358
Hates it! Move on.
233
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:17,904
The charmeuse strapless
with the net overlay.
234
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:24,494
Hates it!
235
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:26,996
Good beadwork, though.
236
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:30,708
None of these are it.
None of them at all. None of them.
237
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:33,628
You're dragging!
238
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:36,923
I hope she doesn't think I'm a bitch.
239
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,176
She's not paid to think,
she's paid to make you happy.
240
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:43,054
It's just that
I've been imagining my wedding dress
241
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:46,015
ever since I was a little girl,
and I want it to be just perfect.
242
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:49,727
Char, not for nothing,
I've done this a million times.
243
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:50,812
Don't worry.
244
00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:53,231
You'll know the right dress
when you see it.
245
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:57,568
Anthony.
246
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,071
Char...
247
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:02,156
That's it.
248
00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:08,830
And across town, Samantha felt
as though she might cry as well.
249
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,207
Have you had an HIV test before?
250
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:12,792
No.
251
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,919
And why are you taking this test?
252
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:16,963
I...
253
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:18,756
feel...
254
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,259
you know, it's, um--
255
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:22,760
Are you feeling all right?
256
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:26,389
-I'm sorry, I'm really nervous.
-Try to relax.
257
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,141
There's just
a couple of routine questions,
258
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:29,183
nothing to be alarmed about.
259
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:32,312
Okay. Thanks.
260
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,731
Now... Do you have sex?
261
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:35,773
Yes.
262
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:39,110
Do you have oral sex? Give? Receive?
263
00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,195
Yes, yes, yes.
264
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,281
Do you have anal sex?
265
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:44,949
Yes.
266
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:46,701
Do you swallow?
267
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,536
Only when surprised.
268
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,122
Do you use condoms?
269
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:52,623
Yes.
270
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:53,791
What kind of condoms?
271
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,628
Trojan, Lifestyles, Sheik, Wet N' Wild--
272
00:13:57,712 --> 00:14:00,882
No, I meant latex, lambskin?
273
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,633
Oh, yes, yes.
274
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,012
How many sexual partners have you had?
275
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:14,729
I'm counting.
276
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:21,444
Um, this year?
277
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,405
While Samantha tried
to remember her sexual past,
278
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:27,742
I came face to face
with my sexual present.
279
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,953
Mmm... Mmm...
280
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,121
Stop.
281
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:33,998
Stop what?
282
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:35,666
You're making that sound.
283
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:39,295
That "mmm-mmm" kissing sound.
284
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,381
It's annoying.
285
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,009
That's a sound I make, I guess.
286
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:50,306
Come here.
I'll try not to do it anymore.
287
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,522
Look, Ma, no sound.
288
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:04,737
Mmm...
289
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:11,077
I can't breathe. I can't breathe!
290
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,292
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
291
00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:23,965
Hey.
292
00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:26,467
Don't go, don't go.
293
00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,554
You know, I just, I don't...
I don't get it.
294
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,222
You used to like that sound I make.
295
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:32,890
I love that sound.
296
00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:39,689
Where are you going?
297
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,983
I'm going to go home.
I need a little time.
298
00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:47,155
I'm just in a weird place right now,
but I'll be out of it soon, I promise.
299
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:51,409
I'm sorry.
300
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,331
Say it's okay.
301
00:15:58,416 --> 00:15:59,500
It's okay.
302
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:03,254
What can I do?
303
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:06,549
Nothing, it's me, it's all me.
304
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:10,428
I just need time to figure it out.
305
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,430
Maybe I'll give you a little room
to do that.
306
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,765
You're not saying that
in a bad way, right?
307
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,227
No.
308
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,105
I'll be right downtown.
309
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:26,694
Hey, buddy.
310
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:28,863
Call me later?
311
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:30,490
It's 1:00 in the morning.
312
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,325
I'll call you tomorrow.
313
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:34,952
Make the noise.
314
00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:36,412
Please make the noise.
315
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,623
Mmm.
316
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,677
Good night, nut.
317
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,429
I'm sorry.
318
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,017
I didn't know what I was doing,
319
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:02,772
but I was pretty sure I had just entered
high-risk relationship behavior.
320
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:06,442
Eat me.
321
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,985
Three days later,
Miranda had finally
322
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,820
gotten her fill of the sandwich.
323
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:11,531
Okay, that's it.
324
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,491
You're not allowed
to harass women like that.
325
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,159
Eat me.
326
00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:16,327
We'll see about that.
327
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,456
Welcome to Blimpie,
how may I help you?
328
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:22,917
Hi.
329
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,627
I'd like to speak
to the manager, please.
330
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:25,670
Yeah, that's me.
331
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:26,921
Okay, then, listen.
332
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,297
That sandwich out front
333
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:31,092
is saying sexually explicit things
to women as they walk by.
334
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,010
-What'd he say?
-"Eat me."
335
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,012
Yeah, he's a sandwich.
336
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:36,973
No, he didn't say it
in the sandwich way,
337
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,517
he said it in the sexual harassing way.
338
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,561
Lady, he's a sandwich.
339
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:48,526
Eat me.
340
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,778
Oh, you're so brave
inside your sandwich!
341
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,615
And then,
Miranda glimpsed just enough
342
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:59,620
of his full lips and shiny white teeth
to stop thinking about the sandwich
343
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:02,206
and start wondering
about the man inside the bun.
344
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:05,501
-I can't stop thinking about him.
345
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,212
You're telling me
you're turned on by a sandwich?
346
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:09,797
Well, I...
347
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,841
I think it's the fact
that I can't see him.
348
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,843
It's dangerous or something.
349
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,970
I think that is one fresh sandwich.
350
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:19,473
His voice is so sexy,
but he's probably a troll.
351
00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:23,019
I mean, any man who propositions a woman
from inside a big sandwich
352
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,812
has got to be a troll, right?
353
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:25,896
I don't know.
354
00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:27,481
You think he's white meat?
355
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:33,738
Oh, wow.
356
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,906
That's the first laugh I've had
in weeks.
357
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,908
Thank the sandwich for me
when you're having sex with him, huh?
358
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:40,953
I... I can't have sex with a sandwich.
359
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:43,247
Can I?
360
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,499
Well, I never thought
I'd have sex with a married ex.
361
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,084
Can a hoagie be that far behind?
362
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,004
Oh, Miranda.
363
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,256
What the hell am I gonna do?
364
00:18:57,678 --> 00:19:00,556
As Samantha sat
and waited for her test results,
365
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,725
she had one thought over and over.
366
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:05,728
"Please, don't let them
take me into that little room."
367
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:08,356
Miss Jones, I've got your results.
Please come with me.
368
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,074
Samantha began to realize
369
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,451
she was being taken
into that little room.
370
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,498
She was perfectly healthy.
371
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:29,335
The nurse just wanted a quiet place
to lecture her on safe sex practices.
372
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:36,092
Later that week, somehow I found myself
back at the corner of 56th and safe.
373
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:41,055
How much?
374
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:42,807
Excuse me?
375
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:44,934
I see you here before.
376
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,145
For sex. How much?
377
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,025
All right, that's it, I'm out of here.
378
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:55,319
That Japanese businessman
thinks I'm a hooker.
379
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,821
Wait a minute. Carrie!
380
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,037
Carrie?
381
00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:07,498
Oh my God.
What are you doing in this neighborhood?
382
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,542
Carrie, can we...
383
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:15,881
Hey.
384
00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:19,969
You know, uh,
I was doing business in the area
385
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,637
and we kind of bumped into each other.
386
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,347
Charlotte, how are you?
387
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:27,268
I just checked on my wedding dress.
It's at a tailor and, uh--
388
00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:30,062
-Charlotte...
-I better go.
389
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,355
Wait, Charlotte.
390
00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:35,526
Well, that was that,
391
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:36,944
Now nowhere was safe.
392
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:39,238
Not even 56th and 8th.
393
00:20:42,283 --> 00:20:44,493
It was a force bigger than me, like...
394
00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:47,329
Niagara Falls or something, you know?
395
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,790
No, I don't know. He's married.
396
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,876
-I know he's married.
397
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,545
That makes you the other woman.
You're the other woman.
398
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,297
I am not the other woman.
399
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,340
I'm not. I mean...
400
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,050
I know I am, but...
401
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,887
I am not that woman.
402
00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:05,556
Please, Charlotte,
I feel bad enough already.
403
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:07,725
Good, you should feel bad.
404
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:09,894
Do you ever think about
how she'd feel if she found out?
405
00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:11,353
Yes, I think about it all the time.
406
00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:12,605
No, you don't.
407
00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:15,316
You think about what would happen to you
if she found out.
408
00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:16,734
You don't think about her.
409
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:20,070
She's just the idiot wife.
You don't know anything about her.
410
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:22,406
Okay, in a minute, I'm gonna
suffocate myself in this bubble wrap.
411
00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:24,241
This isn't a joke, Carrie.
412
00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:27,411
They took vows. Vows he broke.
413
00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:29,205
I'm getting married in three weeks.
414
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:30,915
How would you feel
if someone did this to me?
415
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:33,959
I would kill them.
416
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:39,256
How could you do this?
417
00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:42,009
I mean, you're my maid of honor.
418
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:44,762
I'm getting out, I am.
419
00:21:45,596 --> 00:21:47,181
Can I please help you pack now?
420
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,850
So we stood and bubble-wrapped,
421
00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:52,937
the bride-to-be
and her maid of dishonor.
422
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:59,693
A week of fantasizing hot sex
with the unknown man inside the sandwich
423
00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:01,153
had gotten to Miranda.
424
00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:05,115
Safe or not, she needed to at least see
who it was she was dealing with.
425
00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:08,202
Hi. Look, this is so silly.
426
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:09,370
Eat me.
427
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:11,914
Let me see your face.
428
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:22,424
Even though he was kind of cute
Miranda walked away.
429
00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:25,219
After all,
what did they really have in common?
430
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:27,888
She was a lawyer and he was a sandwich.
431
00:22:29,723 --> 00:22:34,270
Later that day at Tom Reymi's,
after a week of sheer anxiety,
432
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:38,399
Samantha enjoyed the benefits
of totally safe sex.
433
00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:45,573
-Oh, yes.
434
00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:49,618
Ow!
435
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:51,787
Take your time. Um, you know, shower,
436
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:53,789
there's stuff in the kitchen
if you're hungry.
437
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,165
It was the lowest of the low.
438
00:22:55,249 --> 00:22:57,877
I had just finished making love
to my married ex-boyfriend
439
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,045
on his lunch hour at his apartment
440
00:23:00,129 --> 00:23:03,841
while his 25-year-old wife
was sunning herself at the Hamptons.
441
00:23:03,924 --> 00:23:04,925
Jesus.
442
00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:06,969
What?
443
00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:10,014
Could I feel any more like a hooker?
444
00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:17,521
Why do you keep doing that to yourself?
445
00:23:18,147 --> 00:23:19,273
Hmm?
446
00:23:19,356 --> 00:23:21,191
I think we should
stop seeing each other.
447
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:24,361
Why?
448
00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:30,492
You're married.
449
00:23:31,577 --> 00:23:34,455
All right, hand me the phone,
I'm going to call her right now.
450
00:23:34,538 --> 00:23:36,957
-Hand me the phone.
-Don't be ridiculous.
451
00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:40,461
And what are you going to do?
You're going to call her at the beach
452
00:23:40,544 --> 00:23:43,213
and say that you love me
and you want a divorce?
453
00:23:43,297 --> 00:23:44,715
You don't want me to call her
454
00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:46,717
because you're still in love
with that other guy.
455
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,052
This is about that other guy.
456
00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:50,387
The other guy has a name, it's Aidan.
457
00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:53,223
-And you have a wife, Natasha.
-Give me the phone.
458
00:23:53,307 --> 00:23:55,809
And if you really wanted to tell her,
you would have told her by now.
459
00:23:55,893 --> 00:23:57,728
What the fuck?
You told me not to tell her.
460
00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:03,150
Here, call her.
461
00:24:06,487 --> 00:24:09,740
If I make that call,
are you gonna be there for me?
462
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:12,618
Are we gonna do this, really?
463
00:24:13,494 --> 00:24:19,583
I mean, out in the daylight,
no cocktails, no hotel rooms, real life.
464
00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:22,336
Carrie, in or out?
465
00:24:27,049 --> 00:24:28,175
I need more time.
466
00:24:32,179 --> 00:24:33,472
I'm calling her Monday.
467
00:24:36,058 --> 00:24:37,101
I have to go.
468
00:24:37,184 --> 00:24:38,602
You know how to let yourself out.
469
00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:40,688
I couldn't help but wonder
470
00:24:40,771 --> 00:24:43,107
if I really did know the way
to let myself out.
471
00:24:50,406 --> 00:24:51,532
Charlotte was right.
472
00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,951
What did I really know about Natasha?
473
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:58,455
Natasha is a woman who likes tea roses.
474
00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:06,088
Natasha is a woman
who collects antique sugar bowls.
475
00:25:07,006 --> 00:25:08,007
Honey?
476
00:25:08,465 --> 00:25:11,301
Natasha is a woman
who comes home from the Hamptons early.
477
00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:14,471
Honey, are you here?
I took the Jitney home.
478
00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:19,685
Sweetheart?
479
00:25:23,897 --> 00:25:25,024
-Honey?
-Oh!
480
00:25:27,693 --> 00:25:30,237
Carrie, I see you!
481
00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:32,239
Wait!
482
00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:35,743
I knew you were having an affair,
but not in my house!
483
00:25:35,826 --> 00:25:37,661
Stop. I'm talking to you!
484
00:25:46,670 --> 00:25:48,756
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
485
00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:52,468
I had always assumed the one who would
be hurt in all this would be me.
486
00:25:53,177 --> 00:25:54,178
Taxi!
487
00:26:01,852 --> 00:26:03,854
Near... Nearest hospital.
488
00:26:32,132 --> 00:26:33,383
Is she all right?
489
00:26:33,467 --> 00:26:35,385
She lost a tooth
and needed a stitch in her lip.
490
00:26:35,469 --> 00:26:37,638
They had a plastic surgeon,
and it won't scar.
491
00:26:38,138 --> 00:26:39,139
She's scared and swollen.
492
00:26:42,935 --> 00:26:44,394
Her parents are on the way.
493
00:26:44,478 --> 00:26:45,604
I have to go.
494
00:26:46,647 --> 00:26:48,065
Carrie. Hey.
495
00:26:50,317 --> 00:26:51,485
Thanks for being here.
496
00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:55,906
I'll call you.
497
00:26:58,742 --> 00:26:59,868
For what?
498
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,329
We're so over.
499
00:27:03,956 --> 00:27:05,499
We need a new word for "over."
500
00:27:09,211 --> 00:27:10,045
Carrie.
501
00:27:30,691 --> 00:27:31,692
Surprise.
502
00:27:33,318 --> 00:27:34,403
Where you been all day?
503
00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:37,030
Oh...
504
00:27:37,114 --> 00:27:40,117
I just went to a museum.
I was walking around.
505
00:27:40,993 --> 00:27:42,286
Oh, yeah? How was that?
506
00:27:43,078 --> 00:27:44,079
It was good.
507
00:27:45,706 --> 00:27:47,124
I'm just gonna wash my face,
I'll be right in.
508
00:27:47,207 --> 00:27:48,041
Okay.
509
00:27:59,803 --> 00:28:03,223
Somehow, I had found a way
to let myself out of the mess
510
00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:05,184
and I'd made it home.