1 00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:52,219 This is a story about a lovely couple, Rob and Elaine, 2 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:55,305 who rented a house one especially hot and sticky summer, 3 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,557 in the Hamptons. 4 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,643 Elaine invited her best single friends, Cindy and Janet. 5 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:02,938 While Rob invited his single friends, Ira and Matthew, 6 00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:05,774 to share the good times and exorbitant rent. 7 00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:08,986 Until one day, this lovely couple had a terrible fight 8 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,363 when Elaine went out for a run and twisted her ankle, 9 00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:16,243 and came back early to find Rob canoodling with Janet. 10 00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:19,371 And Cindy got tired of Matthew's idiotic jokes 11 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:21,123 and incessant market chatter. 12 00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:24,626 And Ira tried to be there for Elaine and confessed his true feelings for her, 13 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:26,587 which she tried to laugh off as a joke. 14 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:29,923 By August, it got to the point where everything was so awkward 15 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:31,967 that nobody wanted to come back. 16 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,636 And that's when Janet called her friend Charlotte. 17 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,556 It's a really cute three-bedroom cottage. 18 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:40,434 And they're giving us a fantastic deal for the month of August. 19 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:41,643 Yeah, of course, it's a good deal. 20 00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:44,646 It's haunted with cheating boyfriends and sexual rejection. 21 00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:45,939 We can always burn sage. 22 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:48,567 Hey, sharing a house with your girlfriends 23 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:49,610 is fine in your 20s, 24 00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:52,654 but I feel like in your 30s, isn't it a tiny bit pathetic, 25 00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:54,615 like being the oldest kid at summer camp? 26 00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:55,616 She has a point. 27 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,452 My 25-year-old assistant, Nina Grabowski, 28 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:01,830 has a summer share in Bridgehampton with 18 other girls. 29 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,415 They have to sleep in shifts! 30 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:04,750 What do they do when they meet someone? 31 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,335 Oh, they fuck in shifts too. 32 00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:07,377 Hold it, hold it. 33 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:10,005 I can't believe you guys would pass up a chance 34 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,673 to get out of this sweltering heat. 35 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:14,426 And besides, the city's completely dead during August. 36 00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:16,970 That's because everyone's in the Hamptons. 37 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,014 Or stuck in traffic trying to get there. 38 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:22,017 But this could be the last summer that we can actually all get together 39 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,435 and do something like this. 40 00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:25,312 I mean, next year, who knows? 41 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,939 One of us could be married, or have kids. 42 00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:30,651 And then we'll always regret that last summer 43 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:33,070 that we didn't spend together in the Hamptons. 44 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,615 Charlotte's sweet hopefulness touched something in all of us. 45 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:39,993 Okay, I'm in. 46 00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,161 Me, too. 47 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:42,079 Fine. 48 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:44,539 But I get the late shift. 49 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,166 Oh, my God! 50 00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:48,251 Samantha always felt like she was in her 20s 51 00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:50,128 until the sight of an actual 20-something 52 00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:51,171 brought her back down to Earth. 53 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,507 Oh, you have to try it. No, I'm getting you on the VIP list. 54 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,550 You have to try it for one night. 55 00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:56,885 My best friend Jerry owns it. 56 00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,679 He also owns the one in South Beach. 57 00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:00,013 Yes! The same one. 58 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:02,057 I need you to proof and confirm the guest list 59 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,183 for the Hetrick Martin benefit, 60 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:05,185 and get me Richard Johnson, ASAP. 61 00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:07,396 No, he is not a fag. 62 00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:08,814 No, because I happen to have three friends 63 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,190 he's personally fucked. 64 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,317 You are nasty. You are. 65 00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:13,860 Listen, I am sending you a car, to and fro, 66 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:16,196 and if you hate it, I'm gonna let you blow me. 67 00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:17,906 I am! 68 00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:20,867 I am serious. Off, now. 69 00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:23,829 Alec, I've gotta go. 70 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,914 I'll keep you posted, okay? 71 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,124 Bye, honey. 72 00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:31,878 I, um... I have personal relationships of my own, you know. 73 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,255 Not with my clients you don't. 74 00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:35,090 And I have my own career to worry about. 75 00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:38,260 Your career is being my assistant. 76 00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:39,678 You're so deluded. 77 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,389 I mean, you wouldn't even know what's hot if it wasn't for me. 78 00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:44,558 Nina, unfortunately, you don't seem to grasp 79 00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:46,727 the vast difference between us. 80 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,145 Oh, yes, I do. 81 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,731 You stood in line at Studio 54. 82 00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,691 I stood in line at Studio 54... 83 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,151 the movie! 84 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,906 I gave that bitch her first job out of college. 85 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:01,241 She didn't know a fucking thing! 86 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,785 These girls in their 20s, they're so spoiled and ungrateful. 87 00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:04,953 They think they're it. 88 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,580 Yeah, don't they realize we're still it? 89 00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:09,624 No, because the world validates their delusion. 90 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:11,334 And, she took a copy of my Rolodex. 91 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,669 -Do you think I can sue? -Um... 92 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,796 Excuse me, do you remember us in our 20s? 93 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:15,881 Dimly. 94 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,132 Have a little compassion, ladies. 95 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:19,384 The only thing worse than being single and in your 30s in this city 96 00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:21,219 is being single and in your 20s. 97 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:22,929 Hey! Where have you been? 98 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,931 I was worried you were going to miss the Jitney! 99 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:28,018 The Hamptons Jitney is just like the bus to summer camp, 100 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,394 only instead of singing songs, 101 00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:31,772 everyone ignores each other and talks on their cell phones. 102 00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,106 Everyone, this is Greg. 103 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,776 This is Samantha, Carrie and Miranda. 104 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:36,777 -Hi! - Hi. 105 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:39,821 Greg has been going to the Hamptons every summer for 20 years. 106 00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:40,864 Since I was six. 107 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,074 -You do the math. -Oh, I have. 108 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,326 Thank you. 109 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:46,119 Oh! 110 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:51,041 Ah, ah, ah, easy sister. No need to push, huh? 111 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:56,713 Four bumper-to-bumper hours later, we arrived at our new digs. 112 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:04,054 They said this place was shabby chic, I'm thinking it's much more shitty chic. 113 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:06,056 These towels are mildewed. 114 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,975 Actually, this whole house smells like mildew. 115 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,061 That's not mildew. It's beachy. 116 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,146 Would you all stop being so cynical? 117 00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:14,314 We're lucky to be here. 118 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:15,899 Ah! Cynicism. 119 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,485 Now, there's one advantage we have over girls in their 20s. 120 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:19,903 I was cynical in high school. 121 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:22,697 -Who's that? -Hmm. 122 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:25,700 It's Greg, that cute guy I met on the Jitney. 123 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:26,993 I told him to drop by. 124 00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:29,204 And if he asks, he thinks I'm 27. 125 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:32,666 Evidently, while we had taken the midtown tunnel, 126 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,751 Charlotte had taken the time tunnel. 127 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,503 -Hi! -Hey. 128 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:37,546 Come on in. 129 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:38,755 You guys remember Greg. 130 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,006 Hi, Greg. 131 00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:43,426 Hey. Uh, so, listen, uh, me and my housemates 132 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,220 are having a big bonfire tonight out at the beach, 133 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,889 and I just wanted to tell you that you're all invited. 134 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:49,933 Excellent! 135 00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:08,994 Here you go, ladies. 136 00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:12,122 This has so much foam you could ski on the head! 137 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:15,125 Sorry, it's been a while since I've pumped a keg. 138 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,377 I love young men, but, come on, I mean... 139 00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:20,839 the guys here, they don't even have chest hair yet! 140 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,424 Well, that's good news for their backs. 141 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,552 Sorry! 142 00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:28,054 Okay, this is really fun. 143 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:29,806 How long do we have to stay? 144 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,185 Oh, God! 145 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:37,230 All right, I'm gonna go tell Charlotte we're leaving. 146 00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:39,316 That's another thing about 20-something girls. 147 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,734 They're very considerate. 148 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,862 You can always count on one of them to hold your hair back when you vomit. 149 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:46,781 Excuse me! 150 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,618 Oh, my God, Carrie Bradshaw! 151 00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:51,453 -Yeah? -Laurel Harris. 152 00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,830 May I just tell you that I worship you? 153 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,499 I read your column every week, it's like my religion. 154 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,084 Oh, thank you. 155 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,462 I work as an assistant in a publishing house, 156 00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:01,630 but I'm really a writer. 157 00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:02,672 Oh, great. 158 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,049 Well, we'll see. 159 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,301 Maybe I could send you something to read sometime? 160 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:07,302 Sure. 161 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:09,346 You have no idea what that would mean to me. 162 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,223 To have someone like you as my mentor. 163 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,434 Oh, well, mentor. 164 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,645 So, could I call you up sometime in the city? 165 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,521 If I could just spend some time with you, 166 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,981 that would be so cool. 167 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,316 Uh, of course, 168 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:24,152 uh, I'll... I'll be looking at a very busy summer. 169 00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,905 I can help, I'll run errands. I'll do your wash. 170 00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:29,866 No, no, no menial labor necessary. 171 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,327 I'll just... I'll give you my phone number. 172 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,995 Oh, my God, this is so cool. 173 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,413 Oh, thank you. 174 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:36,498 Oh, I'll take that. 175 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:37,749 Thank you. 176 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,131 The next day, Miranda woke up early 177 00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:49,302 to enjoy the cool morning breeze and a much needed moment of solitude. 178 00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:57,227 All right, somebody puked on the deck. 179 00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:02,232 Oh, sorry. Stacy and Holly did too many Jell-O shots. 180 00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,567 What are you, 25 now? 181 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,696 Good morning. 182 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,241 No, 27! 183 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,535 Whatever. 184 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:16,037 That week, back in the city, I wondered. 185 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,206 What was the allure of the 20s? 186 00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:22,043 On one hand, there's great skin tone, the thrill of fresh experience, 187 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:26,089 and the sense of a consequence-free life full of seemingly endless possibilities. 188 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,132 While on the other, 189 00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:30,301 there are horrible apartments, sexually inexperienced men, 190 00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:33,138 and embarrassing errors in fashion judgment. 191 00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:37,267 Should we fear these freshly minted, 192 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,853 single women as a threat to our very survival? 193 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,522 Or pity them as clueless half-wits 194 00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:45,608 about to get their dreams dashed and illusions shattered? 195 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,902 20-something girls... 196 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,572 Friend... or foe? 197 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:55,118 And that evening, in my first act as a mentor, 198 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,912 I took my young acolyte to a book party. 199 00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,205 Ceviche? 200 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,208 Oh, my God. 201 00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:05,754 I can't believe I'm out with Carrie Bradshaw, 202 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:06,921 this is too cool. 203 00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,923 Oh, stop, I can feel my head swelling. 204 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,843 If it gets any bigger, I'm gonna have to say goodbye to my hats. 205 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,303 -I have a question. -Yeah? 206 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:16,347 Do you think that 25 is too young to write a personal memoir? 207 00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:18,933 Well, as long as it doesn't deal with incest, 208 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,852 Prozac, or partying, no. 209 00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,270 Well, it does deal with sex... 210 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,938 Or rather, not having sex. 211 00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:28,151 It's about how girls my age are saving themselves for marriage. 212 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,321 Saving what for marriage? 213 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,156 Our virginity. 214 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,951 Are you seriously telling me that you've never had sex with a man? 215 00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:38,536 That is correct. 216 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:43,792 Okay, now, what do you consider sex? 217 00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:45,794 Are you implying I'm some kind of Lewinsky? 218 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,128 - No! No-- -I'm not! 219 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,672 I'm talking no blow jobs, no hand jobs. 220 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:52,425 All right, I get it, no jobs of any kind. 221 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:54,302 You know what? 222 00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:55,970 I think I need to get a drink. 223 00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,431 I'll get it. Cosmopolitan, right? 224 00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:00,350 -Yes. -I remember... 225 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,060 From your column. 226 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:07,982 A 25-year-old virgin was getting me a Cosmopolitan. 227 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:11,319 The generation gap had never seemed so wide. 228 00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,530 -Hi. -Hi. 229 00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:16,533 Have you actually read the book? 230 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,618 -Uh, no. Have you? -Nope, not yet. 231 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:19,953 Do you know anything about the author? 232 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,663 Yeah, his family has a history of diabetes 233 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:24,040 and he has a steel splint in his left femur. 234 00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,292 I'm his doctor, Bradley Meego. 235 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:29,212 Oh! Carrie Bradshaw. 236 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,089 Jeez, my doctor won't even make house calls 237 00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,715 let alone attend a book party. 238 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,175 Yeah, I've never been to one before. 239 00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:35,552 I thought it might be interesting. 240 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,220 Now it's just exceeded all my expectations. 241 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,389 Yeah, I know, generally, it's just cheese and crackers. 242 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,141 You never see an actual shrimp. 243 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:42,350 No, I meant you. 244 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:43,685 Oh. 245 00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:45,145 You know, I'd ask you out for a drink after, 246 00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:46,813 but I'm driving straight from here to the Hamptons. 247 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:49,691 Oh, I'm... I'm actually going out to the Hamptons tomorrow. 248 00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:52,068 Well, great. Um, can I call you there? 249 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,530 All right, well, you know what? 250 00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:58,449 I'll be with my friends Saturday at Townline Beach. 251 00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,742 A big yellow umbrella. 252 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,244 You can come by and say hello if you'd like. 253 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,371 Is this just a ploy to see me in my bathing suit? 254 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:04,539 Yeah. 255 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:05,957 -Here's your Cosmo, miss. -Thank you. 256 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,333 -Hi. -Uh... 257 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,378 Dr. Bradley Meego, this is Laurel. 258 00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:11,796 -Hi. -Hey. 259 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,007 Um, so, what if it rains? 260 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,258 Do we pick another date, or... 261 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,594 Doctor, you are persistent. 262 00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:21,598 All right, in case of emergency only. 263 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,022 Yep, now I'm gonna have to buy the book. 264 00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,232 Nice meeting you. 265 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:32,609 -You, too. - Bye. 266 00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:34,152 Drive safe. 267 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:37,530 Oh, my God, he is such a fox. 268 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,657 Did you just meet him when I was at the bar? 269 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:42,619 -Mm-hmm. -Lady, you've got it going on! 270 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:48,166 That Saturday turned out to be hot and sunny. 271 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,251 While we sat under our umbrella, 272 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,420 20-something girls sizzled on the sand 273 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:53,922 like rotisserie chickens. 274 00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:56,633 Excuse me, when did tanning come back in style? 275 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,259 Hand me the 45! 276 00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:01,387 Forty-five? Didn't know it went up that high. 277 00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:04,265 You can sit in a microwave and not burn. 278 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,268 It's Charlotte's, but I don't think she's gonna be using it. 279 00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:10,146 It's not good for her 27-year-old image. 280 00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,650 She actually put on oil. 281 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,652 Just let her have her fun now. 282 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,696 Come Labor Day, she's gonna look like a 27-year-old handbag. 283 00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:23,159 I'd risk a few precancerous freckles for a summer romance. 284 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,621 And right then, my summer romance made his appearance, 285 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:27,914 right on schedule. 286 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,625 The yellow umbrellas seem to be very popular this year. 287 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:31,668 Hey! 288 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,462 Samantha, Miranda, this is Dr. Bradley Meego. 289 00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:35,463 -Hello! - Hi. 290 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:36,631 Hello, ladies. 291 00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,508 So what kind of a doctor are you, Doctor? 292 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,759 Uh, internal medicine. 293 00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,094 General, all-purpose kind of thing. 294 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:44,222 Fabulous! So you can prescribe medication? 295 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:45,139 What did you have in mind? 296 00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:46,599 Feel free to ignore her. 297 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,226 -I'm sure that's impossible. 298 00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,436 Listen, I'm gonna go take a quick dip. 299 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,146 Now, you promise not to ditch me, now. 300 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,481 -I promise. -Okay. 301 00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:59,153 Is that the guy from the book party? 302 00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:00,071 Yeah. 303 00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,282 I've got to start reading. 304 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:06,828 He's cute, I'm just not really sure I'm interested. 305 00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:10,456 Good-looking, polite, house in the Hamptons. 306 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,166 It's good on paper. 307 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,127 -Well, you know the rule. -Huh? 308 00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,754 -Good on paper, bad in bed. 309 00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:19,799 A "good on paper guy" is a guy with great credentials, 310 00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:22,385 who you always end up leaving for some hot guy 311 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,971 who rides a motorcycle and doesn't have a checking account. 312 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:26,139 -I got ya. 313 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,932 Oh, my God! 314 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,893 Ah! The water feels so awesome. 315 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,061 You guys should really go in. 316 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:35,606 You better put on some sunscreen, Georgette Hamilton. 317 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,150 Oh, that's okay, I never burn. 318 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,526 Well, I do. 319 00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,570 In fact, I think I've had enough for today. 320 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,322 I'm gonna go grocery shopping. 321 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:43,364 You guys want anything? 322 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:45,074 Oh, we should get some rum. 323 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,451 We can make Long Island Iced Teas. 324 00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:49,746 Oh, yes. I love Long Island Iced Teas. 325 00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:51,205 Excellent! 326 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,007 So I took a leap of faith and made reservations 327 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:04,218 at one of those impossible-to-get-into restaurants for tonight. 328 00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:06,596 Oh, wow, I'd love to. 329 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,766 I just... I can't abandon my friends. 330 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,893 Well, actually, that wasn't an invitation. 331 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,478 It was just restaurant chit-chat. 332 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,271 Oh, oh. 333 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:16,939 -I'm kidding. -Oh. 334 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,068 How about after dinner? 335 00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:21,235 I got a great little house. 336 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:22,820 A cute little porch we can sit on. 337 00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:24,864 Oh, I don't know. 338 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:28,451 Okay, then, how about if I just call your 339 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,286 "In case of emergency" number this weekend. 340 00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,539 The emergency being I think I'm gonna miss you. 341 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:37,043 Yes, you can definitely do that. 342 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:38,544 Good. 343 00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,088 Romantic, polite, 344 00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,757 and his very own house south of the highway. 345 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,636 My "good on paper" guy was jumping right off the page. 346 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,721 Later that afternoon, we came back from the beach 347 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:52,100 rested, rejuvenated, feeling almost 29 again. 348 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:53,726 Even Miranda was in good spirits. 349 00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:56,145 Hey, guys, I just got back from the market. 350 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,398 - Yeah? -Fresh corn and seafood for dinner. 351 00:14:58,481 --> 00:14:59,565 -Yummy! 352 00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,401 Except, Carrie, your groupie can't stay. 353 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,319 I only got enough for the four of us. 354 00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:04,737 She's here? 355 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,906 Yeah, she was asking too many inane questions. 356 00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:08,491 I sent her up to your room. 357 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,076 Oh, thanks. 358 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:11,869 -Sorry. -So, I have got to go shower. 359 00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:12,954 I'm all itchy in my bathing suit from the sand. 360 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:13,871 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 361 00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:15,123 -And then I'm gonna help ya. -Okay. 362 00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:16,040 Take your time. 363 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,250 Samantha, that came for you. 364 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,501 Oh... 365 00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:21,921 Oh, my God! 366 00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,214 What's wrong? 367 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,007 It's for the Hampton's hoedown tomorrow night. 368 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:28,761 And the event is being run by Nina G Public Relations. Nina G! 369 00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:32,265 Overnight, Samantha's ex-assistant, Nina Grabowski, 370 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,642 had reinvented herself as Nina G. 371 00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:35,685 I was up for that job. 372 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:38,688 And now she's using my Rolodex to put together the guest list. 373 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:42,233 While Samantha was getting fucked royally by her protege, 374 00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,527 mine was giving me the royal treatment. 375 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,946 It's not that I don't wanna have sex with men, 376 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,740 I just feel like these previous generations of women 377 00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:53,911 have devalued sex to the point where it's not even special anymore. 378 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:55,246 One summer, when I was 15, 379 00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:57,665 I read everything Jackie Collins ever wrote. 380 00:15:57,915 --> 00:15:59,250 And I thought to myself, "Who cares?" 381 00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:00,668 I mean, is this supposed to be shocking, 382 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:04,338 wagging one's pussy at every good-looking stud who walks by? 383 00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:05,339 Please. 384 00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:08,217 And, what is it you like about my column? 385 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:12,346 I have a tiny tick on my stomach, and I can't get it off. 386 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:13,556 Ew. Does it hurt? 387 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:14,807 No, but it itches. 388 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,310 Oh, my God, that is not a tick. 389 00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:18,853 Well, well, what is it? 390 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,484 Well, there go our shitty sheets. 391 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:27,361 Oh, my God, it's so disgusting. 392 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:28,905 Where's she going? 393 00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:30,364 To the drugstore. 394 00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,658 Charlotte really is in her 20s. 395 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:33,993 She's got crabs. 396 00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:36,496 Oh, my God! 397 00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:39,373 That night, I called Dr. Meego. 398 00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:41,792 I figured it was an emergency. 399 00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,505 I just, I have this thing about crabs. 400 00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:48,341 I had them once in college, and the experience scarred me for life. 401 00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,218 So, I really... I don't think I can go back to that house 402 00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:53,513 until the mattresses are sanitized and the sheets and towels are burned. 403 00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:54,889 No, I'm... I'm flattered you thought of me. 404 00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:58,434 I'd be happy to prescribe your friend some industrial strength pubicide. 405 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:02,230 No, that's all right, I think she can take care of herself. 406 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,273 -Here, cheers. - Cheers. 407 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,991 You might have to spend the night here, you know. 408 00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:17,828 I might have to, but only to sleep. 409 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,622 You know, women are always saying that, 410 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:20,957 and then, as soon as the lights go out, 411 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,167 boom, they're going right for my pajamas. 412 00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:28,047 All righty, I promise, no funny stuff. 413 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:36,222 That night, we slept together but we didn't sleep together. 414 00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:37,473 It was really nice. 415 00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:39,308 And I believe it was the first instance 416 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:42,311 of a case of crabs moving a relationship forward. 417 00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:52,280 Every year, one of the local Hamptons billionaires 418 00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:54,949 got down and dirty and threw a big hoedown 419 00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,951 full of cowboys and caviar. 420 00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,328 It was the event of the season. 421 00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:03,291 We joined Samantha to lend our moral support. 422 00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:04,417 I can't believe it. 423 00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:07,420 There are people here who don't even come to my parties 424 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,338 and they came to Nina's. 425 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,550 Look at her over there. 426 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,386 Beef jerky carpaccio? 427 00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,972 I am just so depressed right now. 428 00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:19,640 Excuse me. 429 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:21,309 Hey, where are you going? 430 00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:22,727 To congratulate Nina. 431 00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:25,396 I may need her to hire me someday. 432 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:30,109 While Samantha set out to negotiate 20-something detente, 433 00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:33,112 Charlotte prepared to launch a full-out war. 434 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,322 Excuse me. 435 00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:37,325 Right. No way. 436 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,336 Hey! 437 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:51,130 Do you know that you gave me crabs? 438 00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:53,883 What? 439 00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:55,468 You heard me. 440 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,094 What makes you think it was me? 441 00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:58,804 Oh, that is so tacky. 442 00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:00,556 Yeah, well, so is lying about your age. 443 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,476 You know, I saw your driver's license when you bought the beer last night. 444 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:04,477 I didn't lie. 445 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,479 You made an assumption, I didn't contradict it. 446 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:07,563 Whatever. 447 00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:10,399 You know, I may have given you crabs, 448 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,443 but you deceived me. 449 00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:14,028 That is so much worse. 450 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,404 Grow up. 451 00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:23,287 You are a wait person. 452 00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:25,247 That does not mean that you wait, it means that you go! 453 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:26,415 Nina! 454 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:30,127 Oh, my God, you actually came. 455 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,339 I just stopped by to wish you good luck. 456 00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,758 It's a fabulous party. 457 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,009 That is very cool of you. 458 00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,302 Nina, I told you, 459 00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:39,845 I didn't want Martha seated near the hayride. 460 00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:41,097 -She's allergic. -Oh. 461 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,682 Could you please try to keep the young people 462 00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,016 out until after 11:00? 463 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,685 Oh. Yeah. 464 00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:48,270 I just wanna tell you, we're all out of country-fried goat cheese, 465 00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:49,897 somebody got stuck with a cactus needle, 466 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,357 and there are people outside with invitations 467 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,650 who are not on the fucking list. 468 00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:53,984 Jesus-fucking-Christ. 469 00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:55,361 You are totally coked out. 470 00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:56,612 You are totally jealous. 471 00:19:57,988 --> 00:20:00,157 What is that? Oh, my God! What is that? 472 00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,993 What is that sound? Oh, my God. What? 473 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,370 What is happening? 474 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:05,955 That is not supposed to happen until midnight. 475 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:06,914 I know! 476 00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:09,041 This is your problem. Get them to stop! 477 00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:11,252 I can't, they're on a fucking barge! 478 00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:14,338 Oh, my God. Samantha, could you help me? 479 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,424 I need to get everybody outside. 480 00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:19,176 I'm just... I'm totally fucked right now. 481 00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:23,639 Okay, people, fiesta fireworks, outside! 482 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,517 Let's go. Let's go! 483 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,644 -Oh, Nina! -Yeah? 484 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,020 This is Greg. 485 00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:33,566 I think the two of you would really hit it off. 486 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,526 -Hi. -Hi. 487 00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,531 I began to realize then 488 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:43,951 that the biggest threat 20-something girls posed was to themselves. 489 00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:45,870 Hey, Carrie, I've been looking all over for you. 490 00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:48,205 Hey. Look, I got one just like yours. 491 00:20:48,289 --> 00:20:50,040 Oh, wow, that's great. 492 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:51,667 You want me to get you a Cosmopolitan? 493 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,961 No, no, that's okay, I'm actually, I'm gonna go find my date. 494 00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:55,045 But I'll see you later, okay? 495 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:56,338 That guy from the bookstore? 496 00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,507 -Oh, my God, he was so cute! -Oh. 497 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,302 Annoying, yes, dangerous, no. 498 00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:03,471 They were simply our youthful doppelgangers 499 00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,723 who needed our compassion more than anything. 500 00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:11,520 And then everything I so firmly believed was promptly blown to pieces. 501 00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:22,615 -Yeah? -Yeah. 502 00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:23,991 Is it you? 503 00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:27,787 Hey, what are you... what are you doing here? 504 00:21:28,746 --> 00:21:30,080 What am I doing here? 505 00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:31,665 What are you doing here? 506 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,961 I just got back this week from Paris. 507 00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:39,840 Oh, Carrie, this is Natasha. 508 00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:41,759 Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you. 509 00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:43,469 I've heard so much about you. 510 00:21:43,594 --> 00:21:44,762 Oh, really? 511 00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:47,932 Natasha's parents have a house here in East Hampton. 512 00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:49,809 We just came up for the weekend. 513 00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:52,728 Excuse me. It was nice to meet you, Carrie. 514 00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:05,366 I'm sorry, I'm just... a little stunned here... 515 00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:07,618 and confused. 516 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:09,328 Who is she? 517 00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:11,872 Well, I... you know, I meant to call you. 518 00:22:13,541 --> 00:22:14,834 She's a girl... 519 00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,504 She's this girl that I met in Paris. 520 00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:21,507 She works for Ralph Lauren in Europe. 521 00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:26,470 So you're just in from Paris for the weekend? 522 00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:27,638 No. 523 00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:30,933 The Paris deal fell through. 524 00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:36,021 I... I planned on calling you. 525 00:22:36,105 --> 00:22:38,774 I certainly didn't want to run into you like this. 526 00:22:39,233 --> 00:22:40,317 Well, you can't plan everything. 527 00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:41,861 Life can be pretty random. 528 00:22:41,944 --> 00:22:45,447 I'm here on a, on a date, too... somewhere. 529 00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:47,741 It's Dr. Bradley Meego. 530 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,661 He's good on paper, you know, probably like Natasha. 531 00:22:50,744 --> 00:22:52,830 Good-looking, sweet, blah, blah blah. 532 00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:57,334 So how old is she, anyway? 533 00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:02,172 I don't know, 26, 27. 534 00:23:03,674 --> 00:23:04,842 Something like that. 535 00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:11,015 Well, I'll see you in the Hamptons or back in the city. 536 00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:15,185 I promise to call when I get back into town. 537 00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:27,531 Carrie? 538 00:23:29,033 --> 00:23:29,992 Are you okay? 539 00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:34,038 No, I just ran into Big. 540 00:23:34,997 --> 00:23:36,665 He's back from Paris. 541 00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:38,542 He has a new girlfriend. 542 00:23:39,710 --> 00:23:41,503 She's 26. 543 00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:44,340 -Where is he? I didn't see-- -Oh, God. 544 00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:01,523 And then I realized. 545 00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:04,652 20-something girls are just fabulous, 546 00:24:04,860 --> 00:24:08,155 until you see one with the man who broke your heart.