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When venturing out
on your first blind date in a decade,
2
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,225
it's crucial to have the right attitude.
3
00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:00,811
Hope for the best...
4
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,188
-Ted?
-Sorry.
5
00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:06,608
...prepare for the worst.
6
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:15,033
And who knows,
you just might be pleasantly surprised.
7
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Or not.
8
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I got stood up.
9
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Yes, I deigned to go on a blind date
against all my better judgment.
10
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I was willing to lower myself
into the gutter--
11
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God, I miss dating.
12
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-And then he doesn't show.
-Are you sure?
13
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Well, either he didn't show
14
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or he took one look at me
and ran for the hills.
15
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Which is worse? I can't decide.
16
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,148
I'm sure
there's a perfectly good explanation.
17
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-We're gonna get to the bottom of this.
-Oh, we're at the bottom.
18
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A complete stranger hurt my feelings.
I'd say that's scraping bottom.
19
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:54,281
You shouldn't even be going
on blind dates. It's beneath you.
20
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:55,949
Now, that's not true.
21
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I know a lot of great couples
that met on blind dates.
22
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-Eric and Marcie--
-Look, stop.
23
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Even if he had shown up,
24
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:05,083
most first dates are like job interviews
with cocktails.
25
00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:06,501
Na-ah. I think, I'm done.
26
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:08,420
That's what I said yesterday
about eating bread,
27
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:09,921
and I just ordered pancakes, so...
28
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Why should I risk having
a god-awful evening,
29
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:17,179
when I am guaranteed to have fun
with you guys?
30
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Oh, honey, you're cute.
31
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- Hmm.
-But I'm never gonna fuck you.
32
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:24,645
Look, I'm really sorry this happened
to you on your first date back out there
33
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:25,771
but you have to keep trying.
34
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:27,856
Na-ah, no, I'm like Punxsutawney Phil.
I came out,
35
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:30,359
I saw my shadow and I'm going back in.
I'll see you guys next winter.
36
00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:33,403
Well, you have to take some risks,
so that you don't wind up an old maid.
37
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Oh, that's right!
38
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Must not wind up old maid.
Must not wind up old maid.
39
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Now, how am I gonna remember that?
Does anybody have a pen?
40
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:44,831
Why do we get stuck with "old maid"
and "spinster,"
41
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:47,334
and men get to be "bachelors"
and "playboys"?
42
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No matter how shriveled their dicks are.
43
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Okay!
44
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,674
The end. New topic.
45
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Charlotte's 36th birthday,
46
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,761
-Saturday night.
-Oh!
47
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,555
I say, we spinsters take back Manhattan.
48
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,766
Well, I've thought about it.
49
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,310
And I've decided, I'm sticking at 35.
50
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,229
- Here you go.
-Because it was such a good year?
51
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,649
Because I'm just not where I thought
I'd be at 36.
52
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I don't feel 36,
and I don't look 36, right?
53
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,194
Ah, no.
54
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,863
And men are much more interested
in meeting 35-year-olds.
55
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So I'm sticking.
56
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:22,202
We all turned 36, like big girls.
Now it's your turn.
57
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,829
Oh, let her stick.
58
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Lying about her age is
the smartest thing she's done in years.
59
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:30,585
Okay, then. Where are we celebrating
Charlotte's 35th birthday, the sequel?
60
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Sorry. Today is the baby nurse's
last day.
61
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,590
From now on, you're gonna have to
book me a year in advance.
62
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,843
-Wow, you're like Nobu.
-I can't go either.
63
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,886
Richard's taking me to Atlantic City
for the weekend.
64
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,222
Oh, what'd you do wrong?
65
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:43,473
Oh, he loves to gamble,
66
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:46,643
and there's some kind of heavyweight
prizefight thing he wants to see.
67
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,229
But we are going on his private jet.
68
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,773
Well, no celebration is fine with me.
69
00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:53,942
Are you telling me the four of us
can't get together
70
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:56,445
to celebrate Charlotte's
30-faux birthday?
71
00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:58,739
This is bullshit!
72
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:02,075
Two nights later,
with no friends available, no dates,
73
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,619
not even any good bad TV to watch...
74
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,583
This is bullshit.
75
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:15,380
Okay, this is my third and final
phone call.
76
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:18,341
Miranda thinks she can get Steve
to watch the baby.
77
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:19,968
Charlotte agreed to come out
78
00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:23,764
as long as we don't mention her birthday
or the number 36.
79
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:26,183
I'm still a little fuzzy on the rules.
80
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:29,186
Anyway, can't you get out
of Atlantic City?
81
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,480
Oh, I don't know,
I'll have to ask Richard.
82
00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:35,525
Please do, because I am looking at
the last picture taken of the four of us
83
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,486
and it is moldy.
84
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:40,238
Miranda is wearing a blouse
with shoulder pads.
85
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:45,243
Carrie's hell-bent on getting the four
of us together Saturday night.
86
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:48,371
Would you be terribly disappointed
if I didn't come?
87
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:49,790
Why not just bring them along?
88
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,834
I'll arrange for comp suites,
and there's plenty of room on the jet.
89
00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:53,960
Yes!
90
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,380
That Friday,
I picked up my fellow jet setter
91
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,757
on the way to the airport.
92
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,887
Under the boardwalk
We'll be having some...
93
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:04,930
What?
94
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,474
I can't go. I'm just...
95
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,227
Not ready to be separated from the baby.
96
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,187
-What?
-I'm kidding!
97
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:16,107
Steve took him two hours ago.
I'm free! I'm leaving the compound!
98
00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:19,569
Don't do that to me.
I'm a 36-year-old woman!
99
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,905
Come on in.
I just need two seconds. Two seconds.
100
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,156
-Okay.
-Two seconds.
101
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,075
Oh, man.
102
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,995
-Oh, hi Magda. How are you?
-You wanna see something beautiful?
103
00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:32,249
-Come, I show you. Look at him.
-Mmm-hmm.
104
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:35,377
You ever see such beautiful face?
Look, here.
105
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:37,712
-So smiley.
-Mmm.
106
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:41,132
Oh! Mmm-hmm.
107
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:44,845
And here, after bath,
with his little pupik.
108
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:49,724
Okay.
109
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:58,608
As I live and breathe, Ms. Hobbes,
I never thought I'd see the day.
110
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,402
That's not me, that's her.
111
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,153
I didn't even take most of those.
112
00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:05,490
Okay, this is the only sweater I have
that covers my ass.
113
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,785
Do you think I can get away with this
and stretchy pants all weekend?
114
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:11,454
Are you kidding? Atlantic City
is the capital of stretchy pants.
115
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:12,581
They're mandatory down there.
116
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,669
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
117
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,755
Hi, how you doing?
118
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,049
Steve, what's wrong?
What are you doing back here?
119
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,676
Oh, I thought I forgot the wipies.
120
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,970
-Oh.
-But it turns out, um, actually...
121
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:29,931
I don't think I can do this.
122
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:32,475
Excuse me?
123
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,853
I'm afraid that I might break him
or something.
124
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:39,232
Look, I accidentally scratched his face
with my dirty fingernail. Look.
125
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:43,403
Um, it's nothing.
You've taken care of him before.
126
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:44,446
-It's been fine.
-Wait, wait.
127
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:47,198
But, yeah, but for two hours.
128
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:49,618
Yeah, for two hours I'm great,
but after two hours, I might...
129
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,413
accidentally kill him.
130
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:56,583
Look, we're both afraid
we're gonna kill the baby.
131
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:57,959
That's a given.
132
00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,586
But we made an agreement this week.
133
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:01,922
Monday to Friday, I try not to kill him.
134
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:04,925
Saturday and Sunday,
you try not to kill him.
135
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,760
-Huh? Yeah?
-Wait...
136
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:11,473
I'm sorry.
137
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:14,559
I can't do it.
138
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,650
You should go,
you're gonna miss the plane.
139
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,818
No way, the four of us are going
to Atlantic City.
140
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,236
We will figure something out.
141
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:31,368
Hello! Hello! Hello!
Sorry I'm so late!
142
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,703
- Hi!
-Charlotte, welcome aboard.
143
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,664
Where is everybody?
I thought I was late.
144
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,332
Oh, they had some kind of problem.
145
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,042
Something with the baby.
Blah, blah, blah.
146
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,335
They're meeting us down there.
147
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,420
They are? But...
148
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:46,007
So, it's just going to be
the three of us for the whole flight?
149
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,176
Yeah, come in.
Make yourself comfortable.
150
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:53,723
Oh! Samantha, you shouldn't have!
151
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,270
Ooh, it's pretty.
152
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,272
But what is it?
153
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:05,193
I'm sorry, that was, um,
actually meant for Samantha. It's a...
154
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,156
-Pearl thong.
-For me?
155
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:13,118
Oh, you naughty boy.
156
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,751
Did I tell you I've taken up knitting?
I find it really calms my nerves.
157
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,754
Practical and stimulating.
158
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,589
What will they think of next?
159
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,426
Knitting is the new yoga,
according to New York Magazine.
160
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,886
-I'm making these for little Brady.
- Maybe later if you're good...
161
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:32,846
Mmm-hmm.
162
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,556
I'll give you a pearl necklace to match.
163
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:35,849
-Oh.
-My father gave me
164
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,768
the most beautiful pearl necklace
for my sweet 16.
165
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:42,522
Actually, we're talking about
the other kind of pearl necklace.
166
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:45,692
You know,
when a guy decorates your neck.
167
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,406
You're sure that Carrie said
they were coming down tonight?
168
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:55,368
"Knit one, purl two"
would never sound the same
169
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:56,453
to Charlotte again.
170
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:02,042
You know that I need
to go somewhere for two days
171
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:04,044
-that I've been looking forward to--
-Hey, excuse me.
172
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,045
No, no, no.
173
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:06,755
-That's not what I'm talking about.
-Time out, guys.
174
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:11,760
Magda here has offered to help Steve
with the baby over the weekend.
175
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,136
No, that's not her job.
176
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,429
Miranda, I'm begging you,
177
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,931
throw some money at the problem
and let's hit the road.
178
00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:19,684
We've already missed the jet.
How would we even get there?
179
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,688
This is the final call
for Atlantic City.
180
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,691
Passengers should be on board
for immediate departure.
181
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:27,859
This is pleasant.
182
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:31,863
-I think we're on the old-lady express.
183
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,117
-Where are all the old men?
-Dead.
184
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,994
Or married to 20-year-olds.
185
00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,538
I am so excited.
186
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:43,583
I have been dreaming about being alone
with these for months.
187
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,877
I love that The New Yorker is your porn.
188
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:49,297
Do you think we'll still be friends
when we're this old?
189
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:50,381
Sure.
190
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,300
What do you mean, "sure"?
191
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:55,595
I could barely get us together for
the weekend, and we're all still mobile.
192
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:56,679
Mmm-hmm.
193
00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:00,141
Hey, New Yorker, I'm talking to you.
194
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:04,854
How are we gonna make it to 70
if you've already zoned me out?
195
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,482
Okay, I'm listening. Talk fast.
196
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:10,735
I'm serious. Friendships don't
magically last 40 years.
197
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,320
You have to invest in them.
198
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:14,280
It's like your savings.
199
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:16,533
You don't expect to wake up one day
when you're old
200
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,952
and find a big bucket of money
waiting there.
201
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,787
Well, did you finally open that IRA?
202
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,414
-No, my point is...
-Well--
203
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:27,210
We need an emotional retirement plan.
204
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,171
This is important,
making time for each other
205
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,673
and taking trips like this.
206
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:35,176
Because, as we can see here,
at the end of the line,
207
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:38,138
it's just gonna be us ladies
riding a bus.
208
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,182
I'm so happy right now.
209
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:44,769
Atlantic City,
departing at gate 104.
210
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:46,104
- Hi.
-Hi.
211
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:53,570
Two New Yorker Magazines
and two knit booties later,
212
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:57,907
we all arrived
at the understated Taj Mahal casino.
213
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,577
Luck be a lady tonight...
214
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,288
Here it is, ladies, Atlantic City!
215
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:06,583
Breathe deep and take it all in.
216
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:12,714
Oh God, I've missed this.
217
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:15,008
Oh, yeah.
218
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:18,261
-I thought you'd never been here before.
-I'm referring to the cigarette smoke.
219
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,471
-Look at all the old ladies.
- Oh!
220
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:23,099
Oh, this is nothing.
You should've been on the bus with us.
221
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,267
I wish I had been.
222
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,895
Oh, please,
a little harmless over-the-bra action
223
00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:29,314
and Miss Priss here
is running for a parachute.
224
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:31,274
Have you ever heard of a pearl necklace?
225
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,525
Uh-huh.
226
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:33,610
I'm hitting the slots.
227
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,695
Oh, and I told Richard,
I'd stop by his baccarat game.
228
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:37,488
No, no, no, not so fast.
229
00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:40,408
We'll take care of all that later.
But right now,
230
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,952
I'm taking my ladies to dinner.
231
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,662
That's right. It's on me.
232
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:45,747
-Steak? You got it.
-Oh.
233
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,540
-Lobster? Coming right up.
-All right.
234
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:52,503
Nothing is too fancy
for my Atlantic City ladies.
235
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:53,588
Whoo!
236
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,762
We have got to get a picture here.
This place is fantastic.
237
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:04,265
-Is that a euphemism for tacky?
-It's chandelierious.
238
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:06,351
Would it be bad
to order more sour cream?
239
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,519
No. Eat your heart out.
You're on vacation.
240
00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:11,522
Oh! I almost forgot
about Charlotte's present.
241
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,608
-Oh!
-It's tomorrow and I said I didn't--
242
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:17,153
Relax. I bought it
in the gift shop for $3.99.
243
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:23,159
- Oh!
244
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,622
Old Maid? Is this supposed to be funny?
245
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,249
Of course, it's supposed to be funny.
246
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:31,668
Look at you, you couldn't be farther
from an old maid.
247
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,295
I remember her looking a lot older.
She looks about our age now.
248
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,423
Oh, she's had work done.
249
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:40,551
So, here's where
all the bathing beauties are hiding.
250
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:42,178
Oh, you flatterer.
251
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:46,266
Samantha, my poker game is about
to start. Would you like to join me?
252
00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:48,726
Mmm, I don't think so.
I think I'll stay with the girls.
253
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:49,811
All right.
254
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,897
Hey, Richard, welcome back
to the Taj Mahal. How are you?
255
00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:54,524
I'm very well, Denise. Thank you.
256
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:59,779
Oh, hello Denise. I... I'm Samantha.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
257
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,864
Well, if you ladies will excuse me,
258
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,617
there are five gentlemen
waiting to take my money.
259
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:06,119
-I'll walk you out.
-Well, thank you.
260
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:09,872
That reminds me, I have to pump soon.
261
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,125
Yeah, who picked this breastaurant?
262
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:15,503
Cleavage is big here.
It's part of the regional charm.
263
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,715
All right. I propose a toast.
264
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:22,927
To the four of us. May we always--
265
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:26,306
I think I will join Richard, after all.
Good night.
266
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:33,938
Ladies, would you like
a souvenir photograph?
267
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,315
-Oh!
- No.
268
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:39,485
It was supposed to be of the four of us,
and now one of us has a puss on.
269
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:41,696
Thanks.
270
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,033
When are we gonna go gamble?
271
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,744
Come on. Baby needs a new pair of shoes.
272
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:52,582
Seven! Winner!
273
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,585
Okay, you won.
Now let's go find Samantha.
274
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:56,711
But I'm winning.
275
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:58,546
Well, that's why you should leave now.
276
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,048
I don't wanna leave.
277
00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,467
I've been here half an hour
and no one's offered to buy us drinks.
278
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:03,593
They're free.
279
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,512
Hey, blondie. Blow my dice for luck.
280
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:09,849
Oh, no no, no,
I don't know how to play the game.
281
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,267
Let her do it.
282
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:12,977
No, get the hot one.
283
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:16,230
Yeah, I want you.
You're my lucky blonde. Blow.
284
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,276
All right.
285
00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,320
- Okay.
- Same shooter.
286
00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:25,865
I'm still looking
for a five, shooter. Five to stay alive.
287
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,617
-Come on.
- Here we go. Five.
288
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,454
-Oh, my God!
-Fuck, I lost.
289
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:32,914
Oh.
290
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,916
You just won me 12 grand, blondie.
291
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:36,626
-What?
-Here.
292
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:41,714
Oh, my God.
293
00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:45,802
Oh, I can't accept this.
294
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:46,969
It's yours, Blondie.
295
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,847
Get in the game. Have some fun.
296
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,646
What are you gonna do with that?
You gonna gamble it?
297
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,231
It's $1,000!
298
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:00,233
"The hot one." Did you hear that?
299
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,235
It could be a lot more.
I could coach you.
300
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,821
"Lucky blonde." So sexist.
301
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,739
It's found money.
What have you got to lose?
302
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:09,283
$1,000, and that would
not make me happy.
303
00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:12,412
What would make all of us happy,
I believe,
304
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:16,207
is to go see ZZ Top
in the Magic Carpet room.
305
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,209
-I think I'm gonna pass.
306
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,586
I've got pay-per-view
and a frozen Milky Way
307
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:21,879
waiting up for me in my room.
308
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:25,383
What? A minute ago,
you were bouncing off the walls.
309
00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:26,592
This is what I'm like nowadays.
310
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,178
I stop for a minute, I have to lie down.
Good night.
311
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,055
What...
312
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,933
You can't go to sleep!
313
00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:37,687
In five minutes,
Charlotte turns 35 again!
314
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,021
Good night!
315
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:42,567
Charlotte went to sleep
that night
316
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,027
with a $1, 000-chip on her shoulder.
317
00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:50,074
As a rule,
the easier a game is to understand,
318
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:53,202
the greater the house edge,
and roulette is no exception.
319
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:58,040
The house edge on all bets
is 1/19 or 5.26%,
320
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:01,294
except for a 0-00-1-2-3 combination.
321
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:04,005
Which carries a house edge of 7.89%.
322
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:07,550
People go to casinos for
the same reason they go on blind dates,
323
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,844
hoping to hit the jackpot.
324
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:13,097
But mostly, you just wind up broke
or alone in a bar.
325
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,517
If we know the house always wins,
326
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:18,394
why gamble?
327
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,194
The next morning,
328
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:29,489
Richard and Samantha awoke
in the comfort of the Kublai Khan Suite.
329
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,949
How long do you think you'll be off
with the girls?
330
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:35,328
Oh, all day probably.
What are your plans?
331
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,289
-I haven't decided yet.
332
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:45,630
Oh. I'm sorry to interrupt, Richard.
333
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:46,797
It's not a problem, Terry.
334
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:50,885
Apparently, there were
no old maids at the Taj Mahal.
335
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:51,928
Terry, was it?
336
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:56,891
That ought to be easy to remember.
Terry, with her terrycloth towels.
337
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,727
Samantha had
the distinct feeling,
338
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,187
she was being Kublai-conned.
339
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,271
Thank you.
340
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:12,949
Samantha, you're not actually jealous
of a casino cleaning lady, are you?
341
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,283
No.
342
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,787
I just find it impressive that you seem
to know the name and cup size
343
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,121
of every woman who works here.
344
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,249
I know the male employees' names
as well.
345
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:25,378
Doesn't mean I'm gonna sleep with them.
Aren't you keeping the girls waiting?
346
00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:28,256
Hi.
347
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,091
I'm Samantha.
348
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,469
Can I get you some towels?
349
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,388
A chocolate for your pillow?
350
00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:38,349
A blow job?
351
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:41,727
Yes, but not necessarily in that order.
352
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:50,611
Meanwhile,
Charlotte's encore 35th birthday
353
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:52,697
was off to a running start.
354
00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:05,126
There she was, an old maid.
355
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:07,837
And it wasn't funny.
356
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:13,718
Three hours later, I was still waiting
for our foursome to come together.
357
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,303
Here we go. This is the spin.
358
00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:16,887
Yes, you're quite the spinster.
359
00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:18,556
Hi. I'm sorry I'm late.
360
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,391
I've been fucking Richard
for the past three hours.
361
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:23,019
-I think he's all fucked out now.
-Is he still breathing?
362
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,896
It was defensive fucking.
I had no choice.
363
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:29,442
There are cheap-looking whores
flying at him from every direction here.
364
00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:46,500
There she was,
Miss Atlantic Slutty.
365
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,755
Charlotte, are you in there?
366
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,548
No, but I think Harlot is.
367
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,300
I didn't like any of the clothes
that I packed,
368
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:57,136
so, I just picked something up
at one of the casino shops.
369
00:18:57,219 --> 00:19:00,806
Those are for women who have lost
all their money and have to turn tricks.
370
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,600
-Does this gal gamble?
-Yeah!
371
00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:03,768
Okay, let's go.
372
00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:11,192
No wonder the house always wins.
These guys are smothered in breasts.
373
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,110
I don't know what I was thinking
374
00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:15,237
bringing a cheating man
to Atlantic Titty.
375
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:17,823
Put your bets down.
376
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:21,118
-Hey, what you doing down there, huh?
-Oh, it's the pearl thong.
377
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:23,996
It's good for foreplay.
Not so good for post-play.
378
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,122
All bets in?
379
00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:26,999
Whoa! You bet it all?
380
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:29,251
You gotta play big if you wanna win big.
381
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,211
Ma'am, would you like a hit?
382
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:34,382
-Over.
-Well, we just lost big.
383
00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:35,800
It's all part of the fun.
384
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:37,551
We're gonna need your chip.
385
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:41,931
-Who, me?
-You're sitting on $1,000.
386
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,599
Don't make me hit the ATM again.
387
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,142
Haven't we lost enough?
388
00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:47,436
-We're just getting started.
-You playing this hand, or what?
389
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,314
Ladies, if you're not gonna play,
you have to give up your seats.
390
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,608
-Okay--
-No, it's okay, sir, we're leaving.
391
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:56,320
But, would...
would you mind taking our picture first?
392
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:57,613
Oh, wait, I need lipstick.
393
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,448
I'm not allowed to do that, ma'am.
394
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,659
Jesus Christ, it's not Disneyland.
395
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:03,327
Hey, Red, move your fat ass!
396
00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:09,750
What did you just say to her?
397
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:11,585
Who the hell do you think you are?
398
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:14,547
-Oh, fuck you.
-Yeah, get in the game or get out.
399
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:17,007
Guys, guys, let's go. It's okay.
400
00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:20,678
No, it is most certainly not okay.
401
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:24,765
Listen, you big jerk,
her ass isn't normally this big.
402
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:28,769
Yes. Thank you, I almost forgot.
403
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:32,440
My ass is fat because I just had a baby,
you asshole!
404
00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:34,024
What's your excuse?
405
00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:36,485
Yeah. You having triplets?
406
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:39,864
Come on, let's go.
407
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:45,244
The Lennox Lewis match
sold out that night.
408
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,872
But our heavyweight fight,
caused a bigger stir.
409
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:50,082
Guys, I think I'm gonna go upstairs.
410
00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:52,668
Oh, come on, they're just idiots.
Don't go.
411
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,628
I'm tired. I'm sorry, Charlotte.
412
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,338
-Happy birthday.
-No, please stay.
413
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,632
Come on, you can have my chip!
414
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,176
-Ah, it's Richard.
415
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,553
Hello. Uh-huh. Really?
416
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:07,516
-Do you think I should go talk to her?
-No, I think she'll be all right.
417
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,478
Sure, I'll go
with one of the girls. Ciao.
418
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,939
He had a sudden conference call
and he can't go to the fight.
419
00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:15,608
"Go with the girls." Right.
420
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:18,611
So he can stay in the room
and get serviced by room service.
421
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,196
We'll see about that.
422
00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:25,868
Oh!
423
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:28,579
Shit! Shit!
424
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,331
Whoa!
425
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:42,259
Under other circumstances,
running stairs in a pearl thong
426
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:45,054
would have been Samantha's idea
of a good time.
427
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,722
But by the eighth floor,
428
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:50,309
somewhere between pissed off
and getting off,
429
00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:52,186
she had to take it off.
430
00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:02,822
Yes, thank you, I will.
431
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:04,657
No one's here?
432
00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:07,868
No one's here?
433
00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:09,245
What's going on?
434
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:11,247
I can't do this anymore.
435
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,498
That's what's going on.
436
00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:14,667
I just ran up 11 flights of stairs,
437
00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:17,711
because I was sure that you were up here
fucking someone else.
438
00:22:17,795 --> 00:22:20,172
-As you can see, I'm not.
-Right now.
439
00:22:20,256 --> 00:22:24,009
Right now, you're not.
But you were, and you will again.
440
00:22:24,093 --> 00:22:27,888
And I can't spend my life running up
and down stairs wondering when.
441
00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:30,850
I thought I could handle this,
but I can't.
442
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:32,643
I'm too old.
443
00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:35,563
I'm 37, after all.
444
00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:41,735
I told you I'd do my best
never to hurt you again, and I meant it.
445
00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:43,863
Right. Your best.
446
00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:47,324
Samantha, I love you.
447
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:49,577
I love you too, Richard.
448
00:22:50,494 --> 00:22:51,954
But I love me more.
449
00:22:59,169 --> 00:23:01,255
And there,
high above the casino,
450
00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:05,718
Samantha pulled her highest bet,
her heart, off the table.
451
00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:20,232
And just when Samantha thought
she might have folded too soon...
452
00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:27,656
Okay, one drink here
and then we should see the boardwalk
453
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:29,325
-before it gets too dark.
-Okay.
454
00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:32,077
-Okay.
-Hey, hey. Can we buy you a drink?
455
00:23:32,161 --> 00:23:33,495
Yeah, better,
would you like to sit down?
456
00:23:33,579 --> 00:23:35,372
-Oh, no, we're fine.
-That would be nice.
457
00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:38,250
So, you having a good time?
458
00:23:38,334 --> 00:23:40,669
Yes, actually, today is my birthday.
459
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:44,173
- Oh.
-Oh. Now it's your birthday.
460
00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:45,424
Well, happy birthday.
461
00:23:46,216 --> 00:23:48,510
-Ah, yeah.
-So, what are your names?
462
00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:51,513
Uh-huh. Can you just... One second?
463
00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:52,932
What is the point of this?
464
00:23:53,015 --> 00:23:54,683
I thought you wanted a drink.
465
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:57,728
Can I please have a word
with you, alone?
466
00:23:58,854 --> 00:23:59,855
Sure.
467
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:01,857
-Okay.
-We'll be right back.
468
00:24:03,025 --> 00:24:05,027
It's Charlotte.
469
00:24:09,865 --> 00:24:12,660
-The one in black's cute, right?
-Yeah, I didn't leave Manhattan
470
00:24:12,743 --> 00:24:15,037
to have a double date with two guys
we'll never see again.
471
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,581
You don't know that.
You didn't even talk to them.
472
00:24:17,665 --> 00:24:18,707
I don't want to talk to them.
473
00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:21,877
I would rather have
a real conversation with you.
474
00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:23,170
Can't we just have one drink?
475
00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:25,005
-Oh, come on.
-It might be fun.
476
00:24:25,089 --> 00:24:26,340
Come on, let's go.
477
00:24:26,423 --> 00:24:27,383
They're gone.
478
00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:30,386
Oh. Ha.
479
00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:31,887
Well, problem solved.
480
00:24:34,348 --> 00:24:35,516
Twenty minutes later,
481
00:24:35,599 --> 00:24:37,977
we were out of the dark
and into the light.
482
00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:41,230
Isn't this amazing?
It's like a postcard from the '20s.
483
00:24:42,189 --> 00:24:45,025
We couldn't have had one drink?
What's the harm in having one drink?
484
00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:46,860
I can't believe
you're still upset about that.
485
00:24:46,944 --> 00:24:49,613
What role did you think those guys
were gonna play in our lives?
486
00:24:49,697 --> 00:24:52,825
-Who knows? We might have hit it off.
-Oh, come on.
487
00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:54,827
Let's look at the odds, realistically.
488
00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:57,413
How many guys
do we ever hit it off with?
489
00:24:57,496 --> 00:25:00,749
Very few, and even if we do,
those relationships don't last.
490
00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:03,627
And even if they did, men die first,
so we're right back where we started.
491
00:25:03,711 --> 00:25:06,380
I say, we skip all the drama
492
00:25:06,463 --> 00:25:09,425
and just enjoy each other's company.
493
00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:10,843
Now.
494
00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:14,013
But I don't want to skip all the drama.
495
00:25:14,555 --> 00:25:17,307
That's life, that's everything,
that's relationships,
496
00:25:17,391 --> 00:25:19,226
and anniversaries, and kids.
497
00:25:19,977 --> 00:25:22,229
And I want all that,
in addition to my friends.
498
00:25:22,312 --> 00:25:24,940
Well, that sounds wonderful,
but don't bank on it happening.
499
00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:30,696
You must be getting cold.
I'll meet you at the hotel.
500
00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:32,489
I'm gonna get some saltwater taffy.
501
00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:38,328
-Are you sure?
-Yeah, I'm dying for it.
502
00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,957
Watch the tram car, please.
503
00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:43,959
Watch the tram car, please.
504
00:25:52,301 --> 00:25:54,970
By my fifth piece
of peppermint taffy, I realized
505
00:25:55,679 --> 00:25:57,890
maybe I wasn't banking on my friends.
506
00:25:58,432 --> 00:25:59,683
I was hiding in them.
507
00:26:00,100 --> 00:26:01,226
Are you ready for a swim?
508
00:26:02,061 --> 00:26:03,896
Got your bathing suit on under there?
509
00:26:03,979 --> 00:26:07,066
Oh, yeah. It's a bikini. You'll love it.
510
00:26:07,149 --> 00:26:09,193
I was kind of hoping for a skinny-dip.
511
00:26:09,568 --> 00:26:12,404
You know there's nothing skinny
about either of us.
512
00:26:13,655 --> 00:26:15,115
Should we go back?
513
00:26:15,199 --> 00:26:17,284
In a minute. It's almost sunset.
514
00:26:19,870 --> 00:26:21,205
You and your pink sky.
515
00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:41,016
Then again, maybe there are
some things worth gambling on.
516
00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:49,525
Back inside, I had a thought.
517
00:26:50,109 --> 00:26:52,319
To hit the jackpot in the future,
518
00:26:52,402 --> 00:26:55,405
you might have to bet
on where you are in the present.
519
00:26:55,489 --> 00:26:58,117
Ladies and gentlemen,
place your bets.
520
00:26:59,284 --> 00:27:01,203
What happens after 36?
521
00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:03,747
I don't know.
I guess you fall off the table.
522
00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:12,131
All right, no more bets.
Here we go.
523
00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:16,176
Twenty-nine!
524
00:27:17,094 --> 00:27:18,220
The winner is...
525
00:27:19,263 --> 00:27:21,265
Number 29!
526
00:27:25,018 --> 00:27:26,019
Well...
527
00:27:34,736 --> 00:27:37,698
I can't believe
you gambled all that money away.
528
00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:39,283
We could be in a limo right now.
529
00:27:39,366 --> 00:27:40,784
You told me to.
530
00:27:41,368 --> 00:27:43,162
I thought we were taking the jet.
531
00:27:44,454 --> 00:27:46,415
You couldn't have broken up
with him tomorrow?
532
00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:47,749
What, and lose my dignity?
533
00:27:50,377 --> 00:27:52,337
Don't let me have any more of these.
534
00:27:53,797 --> 00:27:55,424
Anyone up for playing Old Maid?
535
00:27:55,507 --> 00:27:56,675
Aren't we?
536
00:27:59,052 --> 00:28:00,512
-I'm in.
-I'm in.
537
00:28:01,013 --> 00:28:02,014
Ooh, wait, wait, wait.
538
00:28:03,765 --> 00:28:05,767
-Oh, my God!
-No!
539
00:28:06,268 --> 00:28:07,436
-Excuse me.
-Hmm.
540
00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:09,688
-Would you mind taking our picture?
-Mmm-hmm.
541
00:28:09,771 --> 00:28:10,981
-Thank you.
-Yeah, this is a moment
542
00:28:11,064 --> 00:28:12,191
we're gonna want to remember.
543
00:28:16,612 --> 00:28:18,197
Turns out, it was.