1 00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:49,800 For most New Yorkers, 2 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,761 Manhattan is the center of the civilized world. 3 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,806 But for a privileged few, 4 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:59,017 Manhattan is merely a place to kill time between weekends 5 00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:01,895 at their fashionably rustic, New York country homes. 6 00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:05,732 Wow! Yeah, the place looks great. 7 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,359 I was willing to forgo the privilege. 8 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:10,112 -That's the "before" picture. -Oh, sorry. Whew! 9 00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:12,281 That's the "after." 10 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,201 Could I see the before again? 11 00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:18,412 You kind of have to be there to appreciate it. 12 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:21,999 No, I can appreciate it from here. 13 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,292 Well, luckily you won't have to, 14 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:25,002 since you're coming up there with me next week. 15 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:26,211 I am? 16 00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:29,256 Oh, man, I wish I could. 17 00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:32,843 But I have a meeting with my editor in town next week. 18 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,886 That's all right, it's only 40 minutes away. 19 00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:39,474 You take the train in for your meeting, and right back out when you're done. 20 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:43,061 Well, you've just thought of everything, haven't you? 21 00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:44,563 Pack your bags, little lady. 22 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,815 You're coming to the country with me. 23 00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:51,820 All right, that's Miranda. I gotta go. We'll talk about this later. 24 00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:55,240 -Nothing left to talk about. -Oh, yes, there is. 25 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:56,825 I'll be right down. 26 00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,410 -I'm coming up. -All right. 27 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:00,621 See... 28 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:04,082 I'm what you call a bona fide city girl. 29 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,335 I'm a girl-about-town. 30 00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:11,006 I'm the kind of girl that goes to a late movie in the middle of the week. 31 00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:12,799 -I'm crazy. -I know it. 32 00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:15,302 -Hi there. -Hello. 33 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:18,722 Hey, could you tell your little pal Steve to call his insurance company? 34 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,098 They can't find him 35 00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:22,601 and they still think that I'm his in-case-of-emergency person. 36 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,561 So, he needs to update that whole file. 37 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,731 Yeah, I know he wants to talk to you about some stuff too. 38 00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:29,900 Uh-oh. 39 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,193 Like what? 40 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:32,903 Some stuff. 41 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,280 No, what is he gonna tell me? 42 00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:37,949 Now that Jessica's gone, he wants to start seeing me again? 43 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:41,119 That he can't stop thinking about me? He's still in love with me? 44 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,205 Steve's got testicular cancer. 45 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,084 That I'm a horrible, selfish bitch? 46 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,504 Several blocks south, 47 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:54,049 Charlotte also found herself in a compromising position. 48 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,677 Whatever it is you're doing, don't stop. 49 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,512 It's a fertility exercise. 50 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:01,807 I know a better one. 51 00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:04,768 -Ha-ha! - No, no, not yet. 52 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,728 My basal body temperature reading says 53 00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:08,814 I won't be ovulating for another five days. 54 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,566 That's perfect. That means we have five days of practice to get it right. 55 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,987 No, we can't. I need you to conserve your juices until then 56 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,447 so they'll be at their most powerful. 57 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,408 Darling, I'm juicy now. 58 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:23,537 I'm sorry, it's just... we've been trying for three months. 59 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,580 I don't wanna take any chances. 60 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,582 Can't it wait until Saturday? 61 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,419 We're gonna be in Connecticut on Saturday. We promised Mother. 62 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:31,586 I know. 63 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:35,298 I was thinking maybe we could stay here and concentrate on this. 64 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,801 She's expecting us. 65 00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,679 We miss the orchid show, she'll be devastated. 66 00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,849 Then I guess we'll just have to have sex at your mother's. 67 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,643 People having sex in Connecticut? 68 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,563 There's a first time for everything. 69 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,692 Aww. 70 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,070 It's no big deal. 71 00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:59,740 The doctor said it's very trendy now. 72 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:02,409 Lance Armstrong had it, the Drew Barrymore guy. 73 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,953 Everybody's getting it. It's the TiVo of cancers. 74 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:07,247 That's right, it's no big deal. 75 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,750 He's just gotta get in there, snip one of those guys out of there, 76 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,001 and that's it, I'm done. 77 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:14,838 Good, so then it's stage one, right? I looked it up on the net. 78 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,382 Yeah, I guess so. 79 00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,801 You guess so? You don't know? 80 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:25,348 What? Sure. I mean, stage one, you have the operation. 81 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:28,643 No, stage one, the cancer hasn't spread to the lymph nodes. Has it? 82 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,022 Your doctor gave you an ultrasound, right? 83 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,151 -A CAT scan? -You know, I mean... 84 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,071 I turned my head, I coughed, he poked around a little. 85 00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:41,323 Who the hell is this doctor? 86 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,366 Has he got a storefront outside Port Authority? 87 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,076 No, he's nice. 88 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,203 I got him through my HMO. 89 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,246 Oh, well, then he must be good. 90 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:54,294 Steve, look, I talked to some guys in my office who've been through this. 91 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:56,963 -Jeez, Miranda! -Don't worry, I used a pseudonym. 92 00:04:57,047 --> 00:05:00,675 They gave me the name of a specialist at Beth Israel, who-- 93 00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:03,804 Miranda, you don't have to do that. You don't have to do anything. 94 00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:06,264 I have a doctor. It's no big deal. 95 00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:08,892 Will you stop saying that? It is a big deal. 96 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,938 This isn't your crazy yellow toenail, Steve. This is cancer. 97 00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,565 And the longer you wait to find out what's going on, 98 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:18,235 the longer we even sit here having this conversation, 99 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,530 the more likely it is that the cancer will spread, and that you will die. 100 00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,950 It is a big fucking deal. 101 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,368 All right. 102 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:32,582 I made him cry. No, first I yelled at him. 103 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,960 I yelled at my friend, the cancer patient, 104 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,419 and then I made him cry. 105 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,214 It's understandable. I mean, you just lost your mom. 106 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,633 I'm sure you have a lot of pent-up residual anger. 107 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,302 Maybe, but mostly he was just pissing me off. 108 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,804 Sounds like he needed a good kick in the ass, 109 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:46,972 which is what you gave him. 110 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,849 You know what you need? 111 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:52,435 A nice, relaxing weekend with me at Aidan's country house. 112 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,563 You're not actually going, are you? 113 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,273 Well, if by "going" you mean 114 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,191 "being taken against my will and kidnapped," 115 00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,985 -then yes, I'm going. -Oh. 116 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,444 So enjoy me now, ladies. 117 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,281 Because this weekend, I'm a hick town hostage. 118 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,616 I can't go. Steve has cancer. 119 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:09,411 Somebody has to stay in town and make him feel bad about it. 120 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,913 You're at the Connecticut compound? 121 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,501 Oh, come on. 122 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:17,919 It's like we're living in Paris 123 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:20,005 and running off to Provence for the weekend. 124 00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,173 Ugh! What is it about the weekends now? 125 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,968 I swear to God, every guy I've fucked since Memorial Day 126 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:28,388 wants to know what I'm doing this weekend. They just don't get it. 127 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:31,016 My weekends are for meeting new guys 128 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,976 so I don't have to keep fucking the old ones. 129 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,770 -So that's a no, I guess? -Mmm-mmm. 130 00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:38,940 I guess I'll have to brave the wilderness on my own. 131 00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:41,693 No. Not on your own, with Aidan. 132 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,153 And I love Aidan. 133 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,363 And Aidan loves the country. 134 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,240 So maybe I'll love the country. 135 00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:50,452 Wait a minute, just 'cause Aidan loves the country, you have to love it too? 136 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,162 Yes, apparently that's how it works. 137 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,707 I see. You need to pretend to be someone else to be in a relationship. 138 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:59,377 No, I believe the word you're looking for is "compromise." 139 00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:03,048 It's true. Trey loves golf, so I'm taking golf lessons. 140 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:06,217 Trey loves Bunny, so I'm ovulating at the orchid show. 141 00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,136 Which hick town is it, exactly? 142 00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:11,640 It's too terrible and too ironic. 143 00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:15,560 It's Suffern. 144 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,897 Suffern, New York. 145 00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:24,027 Sounds like you better take some Buffer'n to Suffern. 146 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:36,706 Well? 147 00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,131 -There's a lake right over there. -Oh? 148 00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,841 -One mile. -Oh. 149 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:54,683 Wow. 150 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:06,444 This floor's all original. Dates back to 1874. 151 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,699 The plumbing's 1974, so, of course, it needs some work. 152 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,245 But I put in a hot water heater all by myself. 153 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,706 So what do you think? Scary as you thought it'd be? 154 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:21,001 No. God, no. No. 155 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,252 It was scarier. 156 00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:23,753 Aw, good. 157 00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:28,425 Let me stick this stuff in the back. I'll give you the grand tour. 158 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:29,843 I'll be here. 159 00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:47,110 So there I was, trapped in a cabin that was outdated even by Civil War standards 160 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:50,113 when I could've been out cocktailing, and sample sale-ing. 161 00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,952 -Oh, God! - What is it? 162 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:58,163 -Oh, God! -What happened? You okay? 163 00:08:58,246 --> 00:08:59,497 No, no. 164 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:01,207 Oh, my God! 165 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:05,003 There was a huge, giant squirrel in that window, right there. 166 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,672 Oh! 167 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:08,840 Yeah, that's my squirrel. 168 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:12,552 I've been sneaking little nuts out there and hoping he'd come make friends, 169 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:13,511 and he did. 170 00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:16,639 You can't be friends with a squirrel. 171 00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:19,601 A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. 172 00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,811 -Oh, is that right? -"That's my squirrel"? 173 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:25,273 Any more Wild Kingdom surprises I should know about? 174 00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,400 Let's see, just... 175 00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:37,077 Hours later, we discovered one satisfying way 176 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,703 to pass the time in the country. 177 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,664 Just not enough time. 178 00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:45,502 There I was, miles from home, hours from sleep, 179 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,003 -with no one to talk to... 180 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,422 ...nowhere to go, and nothing to do except... 181 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:55,887 Three hours, two mosquitoes, and one too many vodka Kool-Aids later, 182 00:09:55,970 --> 00:10:00,350 I finally found an outlet for my computer, but not my frustration. 183 00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,901 Relationships, no matter how good, 184 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:12,487 are inevitably a series of compromises. 185 00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:14,364 But how much of ourselves 186 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,574 should we be willing to sacrifice for the other person 187 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,618 before we stop being ourselves? 188 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,411 In a relationship, 189 00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:24,582 when does the art of compromise become compromising? 190 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:26,918 - Meanwhile, 191 00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,295 back at the center of the civilized world... 192 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,841 So... 193 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,592 what are you doing next weekend? 194 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,098 What did I say? 195 00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:43,476 Tired of being the "wake up and smell the coffee" girl 196 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,479 Miranda invited Steve over for tea and sympathy. 197 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:49,149 Or, in Steve's case, Chinese food and Chop Socky. 198 00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,693 I thought you hated these movies. 199 00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,736 Yeah, but you don't. 200 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:57,365 And the guy at Video Village said this one rocks, so... 201 00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,576 Hey, you want the last spring roll? 202 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,661 Uh, no, that's yours. 203 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,496 No, I don't want it. You have it. 204 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,498 Oh, shit. 205 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,793 They forgot the tea. Did you want tea? I could make some. 206 00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,253 That's it, I'm out of here. 207 00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,964 -Why? Where are you going? -Home. 208 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:16,634 Think I wanna stay here and be treated like some fucking cancer patient? 209 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,511 What are you talking about? 210 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,263 Since when don't you want the last spring roll? 211 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,974 You usually eat all the spring rolls. I'm lucky if I see a spring roll. 212 00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:25,059 I'm sorry, I felt bad. 213 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,354 In the park, you obviously needed a shoulder to cry on. 214 00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:30,315 And I was a total bitch to you. 215 00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,482 Yeah, you were. 216 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,234 You know what? Thank God. 217 00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,320 Because now I have a doctor who knows what he's doing. 218 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:36,654 And I scheduled my operation, 219 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,656 and I have insurance that's gonna pay for it. 220 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,826 So thank you for being a huge bitch. 221 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:45,788 Give me that spring roll. 222 00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:53,504 The next day at the MacDougals' Connecticut compound, 223 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:56,174 Bunny gave Charlotte a tour of her nursery. 224 00:11:56,257 --> 00:12:01,221 Since my boys have all grown up, my orchids have become my babies. 225 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:02,680 And this year, 226 00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:07,727 Waxie Hanahan's Chocolate Oncidium will be no match for my Rising Suns. 227 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,855 -They're exquisite. -I'm pleased you think so, Charlotte. 228 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,942 I've re-potted this one for you to take home. 229 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,527 -Oh, no, I couldn't. -But I insist. 230 00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:20,823 A gift in anticipation of the great gift you're giving me. 231 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:21,908 Oh. 232 00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:25,119 What gift is that? 233 00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:27,372 Why, a grandchild, my dear. 234 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:31,334 You mustn't be cross with Trey for telling me. 235 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,544 He knows how anxious I am 236 00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:36,714 to have a wee MacDougal to carry on the family name. 237 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,095 I couldn't get any sleep at all last night. 238 00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:44,138 The silence out here is deafening. 239 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:45,682 Well, you are in the country. 240 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:50,144 Then I go to take a shower and there's no water, 241 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:53,231 so now he's working on the pipes all day. 242 00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:56,150 So I finally had to leave the house before I dehydrated. 243 00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:57,902 Welcome to Frozen Cup. 244 00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:02,573 Yes, I'd like a cheeseburger, please, large fries, and a cosmopolitan. 245 00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:03,741 -What? 246 00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:06,035 A strawberry shake, please! 247 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,872 -Where are you? -Oh, I'm at the Frozen Cup in Ho-Ho-Kus. 248 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,916 -I had to freaking drive to New Jersey 249 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,002 to get cell service, and apparently, 250 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:18,047 the only way to get anything to eat in the country is to make it yourself. 251 00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,174 I'm in no mood for Bisquick. 252 00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:21,592 It could be worse. 253 00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:24,595 Bunny's already picking out names and schools for her grandchild. 254 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:25,930 I'm not even pregnant yet. 255 00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,558 She wouldn't even let the cook put shrimp in my omelette this morning. 256 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:29,851 You have a cook? 257 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,103 How far is my country from your country? 258 00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:34,939 -So how is it? How is the house? -The house? What house? 259 00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,899 He's got squirrels running in and out of there. 260 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,569 It's Animal Farm. Four legs good, two legs bad. 261 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,363 -You didn't say that to him, did you? -No, no, no. 262 00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:43,573 He thinks I love it. 263 00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:45,700 I don't even know what I'm doing out here. 264 00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:47,243 You're keeping him company. 265 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,121 I'm trying, but he's out there hoeing. 266 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,873 So try harder, go hoe. 267 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,458 All right. 268 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:56,753 So, uh... 269 00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:02,300 What are we gonna go? We gonna be schlepping these railroad ties 270 00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,052 -over to the mudhole? 271 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:05,428 -Yes, ma'am. -All righty, then. 272 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:08,222 -All right. Don't hurt yourself. -I'm not gonna hurt myself. 273 00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:10,058 -All right, ready? -Yeah. 274 00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,184 Here you go. 275 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,603 -Oh! You okay? -Shit. 276 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,563 Yeah, I'm fine, it's just mud. 277 00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,107 -Okay. -Go, go, go. 278 00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:19,567 Oh, God. 279 00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:21,152 Oh! 280 00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:26,824 Okay, go. Go, go, go. 281 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:29,827 Shit. 282 00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:37,668 Okay, I'm not being helpful anymore. 283 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:39,837 I think I should get back to the city. 284 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:46,886 I have that meeting to get ready for. 285 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,142 And several showers to take. 286 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,312 Four hours later, I kissed Aidan good-bye, 287 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,941 kicked the mud off my boots, and had a New York steak with my New York ex. 288 00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:03,403 I tried, I really did, but nature and me, it's unnatural. 289 00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:04,695 And I love being with Aidan. 290 00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:06,989 I mean, there's no one in the world that I would rather be... 291 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,118 I'm sorry. 292 00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,620 Is it okay to talk to you about this stuff? Are you okay? 293 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:13,830 Yeah, go ahead, I'm okay. 294 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,374 Okay, good. I'm glad that we can talk about this stuff. And listen. 295 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,793 If you ever meet someone, I want you to feel-- 296 00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:19,961 I met someone. 297 00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:23,840 Oh? 298 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:26,926 Well... 299 00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:29,846 Oh. 300 00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:31,389 Who is she? 301 00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,642 If I tell you, you can't tell anyone. 302 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:38,688 Is she your imaginary girlfriend? 303 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,648 She's an actress. 304 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,067 Willow Summers. 305 00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:46,070 She's not an actress, she's a movie star. 306 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:49,073 Did you see that Spy Girl movie? I thought she was pretty good. 307 00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,241 I don't know about that. 308 00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:52,743 I do know she wears many wrong things on the red carpet. 309 00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:57,540 -I cannot believe you are dating some... -Shh! 310 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,375 ...someone named after a tree. 311 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,044 -She's really something. -How'd you even meet her? 312 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:05,256 She came up to me at her premiere thing and asked for a light, 313 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:09,010 and said, "I have two vices, smoking and green-eyed men." 314 00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,094 Oh. 315 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,554 She's a smoothie. 316 00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:14,432 We talked, had a few... 317 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,934 Went up to her hotel... 318 00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:19,228 Dress comes off, 319 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,439 red panties. 320 00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:25,693 Kept her high heels on. I lifted her up, I put her on the bed-- 321 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,487 Okay, that's plenty. Thanks. 322 00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:31,282 That was about 30 seconds. I think I did pretty good. 323 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,285 How's the stock market treating you these days? 324 00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,955 The thing of it is, I can't get her out of my head. 325 00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:40,791 -Uh-huh. -She's crazy about me. 326 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,586 Willow Summers is crazy about me. 327 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,004 Well, someone's crazy. 328 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:47,965 I'm not kidding, Carrie. When I walked home from her hotel... 329 00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:50,468 -You walked? -Yeah. 330 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,428 I thought, "This is something. 331 00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:54,722 There's something here." 332 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:57,642 A connection. 333 00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:00,311 Yeah, the red panty, green-eyed connection. 334 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,104 Fuck. 335 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,066 I think I'm in love. 336 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,821 As I walked off my Big dinner, 337 00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:14,033 I realized I'd gone from pretending I didn't hate being in the country 338 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:17,036 to pretending I didn't hate listening to Big's Willow talk. 339 00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:21,415 I may have been back in the city, but now I was really suffer'n. 340 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:33,010 One thing was clear. I had to get back to the country. 341 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:37,515 But this time, I wouldn't rely on the country to provide entertainment. 342 00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,600 I would take entertainment with me... 343 00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:42,144 otherwise known as Samantha. 344 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,105 What's next, Samantha? 345 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:45,940 You've got to be kidding me. 346 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,276 Hey, come on. We're baking a pie here. 347 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,194 No, you're baking a pie. I'm just baking. 348 00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,697 It's hotter in here than it is outside. 349 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:54,699 Can't we turn on the air conditioning or something? 350 00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:55,825 "One cup of milk." 351 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,493 No, we can't. 352 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,329 There is no air conditioner. 353 00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,457 Or milk, for that matter. 354 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:07,837 -What time's the next train? -No, you can't go. 355 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,464 You have to entertain me when Aidan goes to bed in about an hour. 356 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,675 You lured me here under false pretenses. 357 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,177 No, I told you that it was rustic. 358 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,305 Oh, honey, don't kid yourself. It's a dump. 359 00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:20,808 Hey. Aidan worked very hard on this place. 360 00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:22,852 You know he put that hot water heater in 361 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,770 -all by himself? -Mmm-hmm. 362 00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,647 -With his own bare hands. -Mmm-hmm. 363 00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:28,858 Actually, I was wearing gloves at the time, 364 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,443 but thanks for the shout-out. 365 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:34,322 Is it hot in here, or is it just me? 366 00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:35,615 It isn't you. 367 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,826 I'm pre-heating the oven. 368 00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:40,911 It couldn't be any hotter in here. 369 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,039 Or could it? 370 00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:47,251 Who's the farmer with the delts? 371 00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,089 Young MacDonald? 372 00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,550 Ooh. E-I-E-I-O. 373 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:55,676 That's Luke Gilmore. 374 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,262 Came out here from the city after the last big market crash. 375 00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:01,015 Doesn't say much, kind of keeps to himself. 376 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,100 So, what does he do out here? 377 00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,561 Push-ups, by the look of him. 378 00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:11,192 Oh, no. 379 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,862 -What are you up to, Sammy-Jo? -Honey... 380 00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:17,239 If we're gonna bake us a pie, 381 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,408 we're gonna need us some milk. 382 00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:30,252 Yoo-hoo! Anybody home? 383 00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:41,597 -You lost? -No. 384 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:45,351 I'm staying next door, and I'm baking a pie from scratch. 385 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:46,852 And I suddenly realized... 386 00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:48,979 fresh out of milk. 387 00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:51,649 Help yourself. 388 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:12,002 -You from New York City? -Uh, yes. 389 00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:16,757 But only until I can afford a little farm all my own. 390 00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,471 Ever milk a cow before? 391 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,098 No. 392 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:29,437 But something tells me I'd be very good at it. 393 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,111 Squeeze off the milk with your thumb and forefinger. 394 00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:40,072 -Uh-huh. -Then roll down into a fist. 395 00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:42,199 Squeeze and roll. 396 00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:45,244 Squeeze and roll. 397 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,288 Squeeze and roll. 398 00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:48,789 I think I can do that. 399 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:52,334 Squeeze and roll. 400 00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:53,377 Squeeze... 401 00:20:57,506 --> 00:21:00,092 I usually get a little warning before that happens. 402 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,263 I guess it just takes practice. 403 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,434 Anything else around here need milking? 404 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,231 While Samantha worked up an appetite... 405 00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:15,483 Trey, are you up here? 406 00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:16,734 ...Charlotte's eggs were ready. 407 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:20,154 - In the bath. -It's time! I'm ovulating! 408 00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,740 So get out of the tub, get into this bed, 409 00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,533 and make love to me right now. 410 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,496 Charlotte, I was just telling Trey 411 00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:31,957 how much you remind me of myself at your age. 412 00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:40,758 There you are. What are you doing in here? 413 00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:42,343 What were you doing up there? 414 00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:43,636 Up where? What do you mean? 415 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:47,097 What do you mean what do I mean? Your mother was watching you bathe. 416 00:21:47,181 --> 00:21:49,266 She was not watching me bathe. 417 00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:51,352 We were having a conversation while I was in the bath. 418 00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:53,229 I don't know how you were brought up, 419 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:58,317 but that is not acceptable parent-child bath-time behavior past the age of 5. 420 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,110 Even 4, in some cases. 421 00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:02,613 And if you think that I'm bringing a child into that, 422 00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:06,116 that I will be that kind of mother, then you better think again. 423 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,119 She may have raised you like that, but I am not your mother. 424 00:22:11,622 --> 00:22:15,125 I was raised by a woman named Eva Neal. 425 00:22:16,293 --> 00:22:17,378 She was my nanny. 426 00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:22,258 I don't remember ever seeing my mother, 427 00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:26,762 ever, except after her tennis lesson and before the cocktail hour 428 00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:28,055 when she would draw me a bath 429 00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:29,890 and she would tell me how she spent her day. 430 00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:32,810 So, I know, I have always known 431 00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:35,646 that you could never ever be that kind of mother. 432 00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:40,484 That's my ovaries. I'm ovulating. 433 00:22:41,569 --> 00:22:43,028 We'd better get to work. 434 00:22:43,112 --> 00:22:44,822 Okay, but I have to get in the right position. 435 00:22:44,905 --> 00:22:46,323 All right, so just wait, stop. 436 00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:49,118 Wait, not like that. I have to get my legs up. Okay, up... 437 00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:50,703 - While trying to make a baby, 438 00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:53,622 Charlotte and Trey accidentally destroyed Bunny's, 439 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:57,001 and Waxie Hanahan's Chocolate Oncidium won first prize 440 00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:58,669 for the second year in a row. 441 00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:01,255 Back in New York, 442 00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:04,633 the patient, Steve, was greeted by a patient Miranda. 443 00:23:09,013 --> 00:23:10,973 -Hey. -Hey. 444 00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:13,559 -You're up. -Mmm. 445 00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:15,185 How are you? 446 00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:18,314 On drugs. 447 00:23:20,274 --> 00:23:22,568 -How long you been here? -Not long. 448 00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:26,906 -A while. Is that okay? -Hmm. 449 00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:29,033 I, um... 450 00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:32,036 I talked to the doctor. 451 00:23:32,453 --> 00:23:34,580 -Oh, yeah, how's he? -He, uh... 452 00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:36,957 He said everything looked pretty good down there. 453 00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:40,336 I told him, frankly, I'd seen better. 454 00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:42,504 - Ouch. -Sorry. 455 00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:45,549 Visiting hours are over. You're going to have to leave now. 456 00:23:45,633 --> 00:23:48,302 Uh, no, I'm sorry, I don't think so. 457 00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:51,972 -Are you a family member? -I'm his in-case-of-emergency person. 458 00:23:52,056 --> 00:23:54,475 It's okay, Miranda, if you wanna go... 459 00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:56,143 Shut up or I'll give you a sponge bath. 460 00:23:57,686 --> 00:23:58,771 Twenty minutes. 461 00:24:00,606 --> 00:24:01,607 Drink your juice. 462 00:24:08,489 --> 00:24:12,034 Meanwhile, on his farm, Young MacDonald had Samantha. 463 00:24:21,502 --> 00:24:23,003 That was good. 464 00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:26,966 You're a man of few words, but they're all the right ones. 465 00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:29,468 What are you doing next weekend? 466 00:24:33,681 --> 00:24:34,807 Look! 467 00:24:36,016 --> 00:24:37,393 I made crust. 468 00:24:37,893 --> 00:24:40,437 Now all we have to do is put apples in, and it's pie. 469 00:24:41,188 --> 00:24:43,816 -Look at that. -No, you don't understand. 470 00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:46,902 The only thing that I have ever successfully made in the kitchen 471 00:24:46,986 --> 00:24:49,154 is a mess, and several little fires. 472 00:24:49,238 --> 00:24:51,448 So come one, you feel like peeling some apples? 473 00:24:51,991 --> 00:24:56,203 -I feel like taking a shower. -Now? Oh, no! 474 00:24:56,286 --> 00:24:58,956 Come on, you've been outside all day. I've been cooped up in here. 475 00:24:59,456 --> 00:25:01,709 Look, we'll do it together. It'll be fun, all right? 476 00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:07,464 -It's a squirrel! -God damn it! 477 00:25:07,548 --> 00:25:10,050 -Oh, God. -Are you okay? 478 00:25:10,134 --> 00:25:12,094 No, I am not okay! 479 00:25:12,928 --> 00:25:14,430 I burned my legs! 480 00:25:15,764 --> 00:25:16,724 And I... 481 00:25:17,891 --> 00:25:18,892 God. 482 00:25:19,601 --> 00:25:22,021 I hate that squirrel. I hate this oven. 483 00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:25,941 I hate this. 484 00:25:26,025 --> 00:25:28,152 House. Just say it, you hate the house. 485 00:25:28,235 --> 00:25:29,987 -I hate the house. -Thank you. 486 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:32,990 Well, I'm sorry, I just... 487 00:25:34,074 --> 00:25:38,078 I just... I don't belong here. I don't know where anything goes. 488 00:25:38,579 --> 00:25:39,747 And I burned my legs. 489 00:25:40,581 --> 00:25:42,499 -It really hurts. -Come here. 490 00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:45,044 Jump up here. Come on. 491 00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:51,300 Where is it? Oh, there it is. 492 00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:00,059 Is that better? 493 00:26:01,894 --> 00:26:02,895 Huh? 494 00:26:04,313 --> 00:26:05,314 I'm sorry. 495 00:26:08,525 --> 00:26:09,860 I don't hate the house. 496 00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:12,529 I hate the squirrel. 497 00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:14,740 The squirrel's not so bad. 498 00:26:16,283 --> 00:26:18,494 The house, it'll get better. 499 00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:19,953 You'll see. 500 00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:23,582 Maybe from now on I should just come up on the weekends. 501 00:26:23,665 --> 00:26:25,793 Yeah, or every other weekend. 502 00:26:28,712 --> 00:26:31,173 -I don't have to come at all. -Okay. 503 00:26:40,224 --> 00:26:41,225 Weekends are good. 504 00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:59,076 One slow train ride and two fast-food apple pies later... 505 00:26:59,159 --> 00:27:01,662 -These are surprisingly delicious. -I know. 506 00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:04,206 Why would anybody go to the trouble of making one 507 00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:07,000 when you can buy one that's so perfect and individually sized? 508 00:27:08,377 --> 00:27:10,337 -Wait a minute, hold still, sweetie. -What? 509 00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:14,007 Souvenir? 510 00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:17,094 Please, I am never leaving this city again. 511 00:27:17,177 --> 00:27:18,178 Taxi! 512 00:27:19,888 --> 00:27:22,432 Actually, the country's looking pretty good to me right about now. 513 00:27:23,100 --> 00:27:25,602 Really? So you'll be back next weekend? 514 00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:28,355 Um... Not next weekend, no. 515 00:27:28,438 --> 00:27:30,023 So when are you going back? 516 00:27:32,317 --> 00:27:34,319 -You gonna finish that pie? 517 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,282 In the end, of course, Aidan and I compromised. 518 00:27:38,365 --> 00:27:40,284 -He spent money on air conditioning. -Taxi! 519 00:27:40,367 --> 00:27:42,744 And I spent enough time in Suffern 520 00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:48,667 to realize that city girls are just country girls with cuter outfits. 521 00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:50,836 I got a cab.