1 00:00:34,050 --> 00:00:39,180 SINGING: There's a bunch of birds in the sky 2 00:00:40,014 --> 00:00:45,144 And some deers just went running by 3 00:00:45,811 --> 00:00:48,605 Oh, the snow's pure and white 4 00:00:48,814 --> 00:00:53,359 On the earth rich and brown 5 00:00:53,610 --> 00:00:56,571 Just another Sunday morning 6 00:00:56,821 --> 00:01:01,742 In my quiet mountain town 7 00:01:05,245 --> 00:01:07,414 The sun is shining And the grass is green 8 00:01:07,664 --> 00:01:09,624 Under the three feet of snow I mean 9 00:01:09,875 --> 00:01:13,211 This is the day When it's hard to wear a frown 10 00:01:13,461 --> 00:01:15,505 All the happy people stop To say hello 11 00:01:15,755 --> 00:01:18,424 - Out of my way! - Even though the temperature's low 12 00:01:18,674 --> 00:01:20,718 It's a perfect Sunday morning 13 00:01:20,968 --> 00:01:22,887 In my quiet mountain town 14 00:01:23,429 --> 00:01:24,930 Well, good morning, Stan. 15 00:01:25,180 --> 00:01:27,307 - Mom, can I have $8 to see a movie? - A movie? 16 00:01:27,516 --> 00:01:30,310 It'll be the best movie ever. A foreign film from Canada. 17 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:33,480 - All right. But be back for supper. - Thanks, Mom. 18 00:01:34,522 --> 00:01:36,441 SINGING: Oh, what a picture-perfect child 19 00:01:36,691 --> 00:01:38,734 Just like Jesus he's tender and mild 20 00:01:38,985 --> 00:01:42,404 He'd wear a smile While he wore a thorny crown 21 00:01:42,655 --> 00:01:44,990 What an angel with a heart So sweet and sure 22 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:47,451 And a mind so open and pure 23 00:01:47,659 --> 00:01:51,871 Thank God we live In this quiet redneck mountain town 24 00:01:52,330 --> 00:01:54,332 STAN: Dude! Dude, wake up! 25 00:01:57,376 --> 00:01:59,128 STAN: Kenny, come on! 26 00:02:00,171 --> 00:02:02,840 The Terrance and Phillip movie is out. You wanna come? 27 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:05,843 Where do you think you're going? 28 00:02:06,134 --> 00:02:07,135 [ KENNY MUMBLES ] 29 00:02:07,386 --> 00:02:09,262 You have to go to church! 30 00:02:10,514 --> 00:02:12,766 Well, fine. Go ahead and miss church. 31 00:02:13,057 --> 00:02:16,144 When you die and go to hell, you can answer to Satan! 32 00:02:17,145 --> 00:02:18,187 KENNY: Okay. 33 00:02:18,479 --> 00:02:20,231 STAN SINGS: You can see your breath Hanging in the air 34 00:02:20,481 --> 00:02:22,525 You see homeless people But you just don 't care 35 00:02:22,775 --> 00:02:26,028 It's a sea of smiles In which we'd be glad to drown 36 00:02:26,737 --> 00:02:29,072 [ KENNY MUMBLES ] 37 00:02:30,991 --> 00:02:32,575 That's right! It's Sunday morning 38 00:02:32,826 --> 00:02:36,579 In our quiet little White-bread redneck mountain town 39 00:02:38,623 --> 00:02:41,208 - Ready, Ike? Kick the baby! - Don't kick the baby. 40 00:02:41,417 --> 00:02:42,793 Kick the baby. 41 00:02:44,003 --> 00:02:48,715 Ike, you broke another window! That's a bad baby. Bad baby! 42 00:02:48,965 --> 00:02:50,342 We're going to the Terrance and Phillip movie. 43 00:02:51,635 --> 00:02:52,552 Oh, my God! 44 00:02:52,802 --> 00:02:54,470 Kyle, where are you going? 45 00:02:54,721 --> 00:02:57,265 - We're going ice-skating. - Take your brother. 46 00:02:57,473 --> 00:02:59,558 He's not even my real brother. He's adopted. 47 00:02:59,809 --> 00:03:00,768 Do as I say! 48 00:03:01,018 --> 00:03:02,186 Okay, I'm sorry. 49 00:03:04,188 --> 00:03:06,231 SINGING: Look at those frail and fragile boys 50 00:03:06,481 --> 00:03:08,608 It really gets me down 51 00:03:08,859 --> 00:03:12,862 The world is such a rotten place And city life's a complete disgrace 52 00:03:13,113 --> 00:03:15,406 That's why I moved to This redneck meshuggenah 53 00:03:15,657 --> 00:03:19,869 Quiet mountain town 54 00:03:21,328 --> 00:03:23,580 Ike! Bad baby! 55 00:03:23,831 --> 00:03:25,541 ANNOUNCER ON TV: Brought to you by Snacky Smores... 56 00:03:25,749 --> 00:03:27,709 ...the fun of s 'mores in a cookie. 57 00:03:27,959 --> 00:03:29,586 Mom, somebody's at the door! 58 00:03:29,836 --> 00:03:32,172 - Coming, hon. - I can't see the TV! 59 00:03:32,422 --> 00:03:35,633 It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by wild boars... 60 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,593 ...and the world is glad to be rid of him. 61 00:03:37,844 --> 00:03:39,720 Eric, it's your little friends. 62 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:41,764 What are you doing here? 63 00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:44,558 Sweet, dude. Yes! 64 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:48,353 SINGING: Off to the movies we shall go 65 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,981 Where we learn everything That we know 66 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:55,109 'Cause the movies teach us What our parents don 't have time to say 67 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,778 And this movie's gonna Make our lives complete 68 00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:01,574 - 'Cause Terrance and Phillip are sweet - Super sweet. 69 00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:06,620 Thank God we live in the quiet little Redneck Podunk white trash 70 00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:09,956 U. S.A. 71 00:04:11,374 --> 00:04:14,460 Can I have five tickets to Terrance and Phillip Asses of Fire? 72 00:04:15,086 --> 00:04:16,337 No. 73 00:04:18,256 --> 00:04:19,090 What do you mean? 74 00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:23,093 Asses of Fire is rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. 75 00:04:23,344 --> 00:04:25,471 You must be accompanied by a parent or guardian. 76 00:04:25,721 --> 00:04:27,848 - Why? - This movie has naughty language! 77 00:04:28,098 --> 00:04:28,974 Next, please. 78 00:04:30,392 --> 00:04:32,727 - This can't be happening. - We have to see it. 79 00:04:32,936 --> 00:04:34,979 Screw it. It probably isn't good anyway. 80 00:04:35,188 --> 00:04:37,523 Cartman, what do you mean? You love Terrance and Phillip. 81 00:04:37,773 --> 00:04:39,525 But the animation's all crappy. 82 00:04:42,111 --> 00:04:43,529 Wait. I've got an idea. 83 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:47,199 Hi. I want six tickets to Asses of Fire. 84 00:04:47,491 --> 00:04:49,618 This movie may not be appropriate for the little ones. 85 00:04:49,868 --> 00:04:51,995 He says this movie isn't appropriate for you. 86 00:04:52,287 --> 00:04:54,831 Mr. Homeless Guy, if you don't want $ 10... 87 00:04:55,039 --> 00:04:57,166 ...to buy a bottle of vodka, then be my guest. 88 00:04:57,458 --> 00:04:58,584 Six tickets, please. 89 00:05:02,421 --> 00:05:04,465 - Let me have some candy. - Let's see. 90 00:05:04,673 --> 00:05:06,175 I don't have any Jewish candy. 91 00:05:06,425 --> 00:05:08,301 Like you need all that chocolate, fat boy! 92 00:05:09,344 --> 00:05:10,470 The movie's starting. 93 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:16,351 Hooray! 94 00:05:16,559 --> 00:05:20,146 Terrance, what did the Spanish priest say to the Iranian gynecologist? 95 00:05:20,396 --> 00:05:21,814 I don 't know, Phillip. What? 96 00:05:22,106 --> 00:05:23,232 [ FARTS ] 97 00:05:24,817 --> 00:05:26,235 Where do they find this stuff? 98 00:05:26,485 --> 00:05:28,320 You're such a pig-fucker, Phillip. 99 00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,030 What did he say? 100 00:05:30,238 --> 00:05:31,906 Why'd you call me a pig-fucker? 101 00:05:32,115 --> 00:05:35,076 Well, let's see. First of all, you fuck pigs. 102 00:05:35,285 --> 00:05:36,119 Oh, yeah. 103 00:05:37,245 --> 00:05:39,580 TERRANCE: Well, fuck my ass and call me a bitch. 104 00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:42,583 You shit-faced cockmaster. 105 00:05:42,791 --> 00:05:43,709 Wow! 106 00:05:43,917 --> 00:05:45,544 "Shit-faced cockmaster." 107 00:05:45,794 --> 00:05:47,254 You donkey-raping shit-eater. 108 00:05:47,504 --> 00:05:48,547 "Donkey-raping shit-eater." 109 00:05:48,797 --> 00:05:50,423 "Donkey-raping shit-eater." 110 00:05:50,715 --> 00:05:53,802 - You'd fuck your uncle! - You'd fuck your uncle! 111 00:05:54,385 --> 00:05:56,554 SINGING: Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker 112 00:05:56,804 --> 00:05:59,473 You're a cocksucking Ass-licking Uncle Fucker 113 00:05:59,765 --> 00:06:02,726 Yes, it's true Nobody fucks uncles quite like you 114 00:06:02,977 --> 00:06:05,062 Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker 115 00:06:05,312 --> 00:06:07,939 You're the one that fucked your uncle Uncle Fucker 116 00:06:08,190 --> 00:06:11,318 You don 't eat or mow the lawn You fuck your uncle all day long 117 00:06:12,861 --> 00:06:15,113 [ FARTING TO MUSIC ] 118 00:06:22,870 --> 00:06:24,455 What's going on here? 119 00:06:24,705 --> 00:06:26,957 [ FARTING TO MUSIC ] 120 00:06:27,249 --> 00:06:29,626 - What garbage. - What do you expect? They're Canadian. 121 00:06:34,714 --> 00:06:36,591 PEOPLE SING: Uncle Fucker Uncle Fucker, Uncle Fucker 122 00:06:36,841 --> 00:06:38,426 Uncle Fucker 123 00:06:39,719 --> 00:06:41,595 Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker 124 00:06:41,887 --> 00:06:44,431 You're a boner-biting bastard Uncle Fucker 125 00:06:44,681 --> 00:06:47,976 - You're an uncle-fucker I must say - You fucked your uncle yesterday 126 00:06:48,352 --> 00:06:52,564 Uncle Fucker That's U-N-C-L-E fuck you 127 00:06:52,814 --> 00:06:54,607 Uncle Fucker 128 00:06:55,024 --> 00:06:55,858 Suck my balls. 129 00:07:00,363 --> 00:07:03,907 - That movie was fucking sweet! - You bet your fucking ass it was! 130 00:07:04,158 --> 00:07:05,784 Fuck, I wanna be just like them. 131 00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:07,786 Wait, where's your guardian? 132 00:07:08,620 --> 00:07:12,374 I knew it! You paid a homeless guy to get you in, didn't you? 133 00:07:12,707 --> 00:07:15,335 Fuck off, you donkey-raping shit-eater. 134 00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:18,296 KYLE SINGS: Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker 135 00:07:18,546 --> 00:07:21,382 BO YS SING: You're an ass-licking Ball-sucking uncle-fucker 136 00:07:30,182 --> 00:07:31,558 Where have you been all day? 137 00:07:31,850 --> 00:07:34,811 Nowhere. We just went to go see the Terrance and Phillip movie. 138 00:07:36,687 --> 00:07:37,563 CLYDE: How'd you get in? 139 00:07:37,855 --> 00:07:40,274 Stop crowding us, shit-faced cockmasters! 140 00:07:40,483 --> 00:07:41,650 Wow! 141 00:07:41,901 --> 00:07:44,069 You're all ass-ramming uncle-fuckers. 142 00:07:44,319 --> 00:07:45,529 Ooo! 143 00:07:45,779 --> 00:07:46,989 We've got to see this movie. 144 00:07:47,239 --> 00:07:49,574 Terrance and Phillip are Canadian, just like my brother. 145 00:07:53,036 --> 00:07:54,412 STAN SINGS: There's the girl that I like 146 00:07:54,954 --> 00:07:58,666 Tell about when Terrance called Phillip a testicle-shitting rectal wart. 147 00:07:58,916 --> 00:08:00,167 Now more than ever 148 00:08:00,418 --> 00:08:02,127 She gives me butterflies 149 00:08:02,336 --> 00:08:05,923 It makes my stomach queasy Every time she walks by 150 00:08:06,173 --> 00:08:07,549 Asshole, I'm talking to you. 151 00:08:07,799 --> 00:08:10,510 I know I can be cool If I try 152 00:08:11,344 --> 00:08:12,554 Hi, Stan. 153 00:08:12,804 --> 00:08:14,389 Gross! 154 00:08:15,056 --> 00:08:17,433 Wendy, let us try to jump the hilly brush. 155 00:08:18,017 --> 00:08:19,018 Who are you? 156 00:08:19,268 --> 00:08:22,730 Gregory. I transferred from Yardale, where I had a 4.0 grade point average. 157 00:08:23,397 --> 00:08:24,440 WEND Y: Want to skate with us? 158 00:08:24,690 --> 00:08:28,026 We've been skating all morning, laughing and talking of memories past. 159 00:08:28,735 --> 00:08:30,195 We saw the Terrance and Phillip movie. 160 00:08:31,655 --> 00:08:32,947 Try and catch me, Wendy. 161 00:08:34,657 --> 00:08:36,117 Bye, Stan. 162 00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:43,791 I saw the Terrance and Phillip movie. Who wants to touch me? 163 00:08:43,999 --> 00:08:45,792 I said, who wants to fucking touch me? 164 00:08:46,919 --> 00:08:47,753 Ooo! 165 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:50,505 We gotta see the Terrance and Phillip movie too. 166 00:08:54,092 --> 00:08:55,802 I hate you, Kenny. 167 00:09:01,432 --> 00:09:02,808 SINGING: Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker 168 00:09:03,058 --> 00:09:05,436 You're a boner-biting bastard Uncle Fucker 169 00:09:06,895 --> 00:09:09,022 MR. GARRISON: Okay, children, let's take our seats. 170 00:09:09,272 --> 00:09:11,274 We have a lot to learn today. 171 00:09:11,483 --> 00:09:13,026 We sure do, Mr. Hat. 172 00:09:13,651 --> 00:09:16,571 Let's start the day with a few new math problems. 173 00:09:16,821 --> 00:09:18,781 What is five times two? 174 00:09:20,408 --> 00:09:22,910 Don't be shy. Just give it your best shot. 175 00:09:24,036 --> 00:09:25,454 - Yes, Clyde. - 12? 176 00:09:25,704 --> 00:09:29,499 Now let's get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard. 177 00:09:29,749 --> 00:09:32,085 Anyone? Come on, don't be shy. 178 00:09:32,335 --> 00:09:34,504 I think I know the answer, Mr. Garrison. 179 00:09:34,754 --> 00:09:37,465 - Shut up, fat boy! - Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew! 180 00:09:37,715 --> 00:09:40,634 - Eric! Did you just say the F-word? - "Jew"? 181 00:09:40,926 --> 00:09:43,429 You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass. 182 00:09:43,637 --> 00:09:45,055 - Kyle! - Why the fuck not? 183 00:09:45,264 --> 00:09:46,765 - Eric! - You said "fuck" again. 184 00:09:46,974 --> 00:09:48,058 - Stanley! - Fuck! 185 00:09:48,809 --> 00:09:51,603 What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck, fuckitty, fuck. 186 00:09:51,853 --> 00:09:54,022 How would you like to go see the counselor? 187 00:09:54,314 --> 00:09:56,315 How would you like to suck my balls? 188 00:09:57,483 --> 00:09:58,943 What did you say?! 189 00:09:59,193 --> 00:10:02,696 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was... 190 00:10:03,197 --> 00:10:07,951 ..."How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?" 191 00:10:09,161 --> 00:10:10,245 Holy shit, dude. 192 00:10:13,206 --> 00:10:17,335 I'm disappointed in you boys. You should be ashamed of yourselves. 193 00:10:17,585 --> 00:10:19,295 I've called in your mothers... 194 00:10:19,545 --> 00:10:21,005 - You called my mom? MR. MACKEY: That's right. 195 00:10:21,213 --> 00:10:22,256 Oh, no, dude! 196 00:10:22,548 --> 00:10:24,925 - Mr. Mackey, can I ask a question? - M'kay, what? 197 00:10:25,217 --> 00:10:26,593 What's the big fucking deal? 198 00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:31,222 I want to know where you heard these horrific obscenities, m'kay? 199 00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:34,976 - Nowhere. - We heard them from Mr. Garrison before. 200 00:10:35,393 --> 00:10:37,895 I seriously doubt that Mr. Garrison ever said... 201 00:10:38,145 --> 00:10:40,689 ..."Eat penguin shit, you ass-spelunker." 202 00:10:42,107 --> 00:10:43,067 Sweet. 203 00:10:45,235 --> 00:10:46,486 Uh-oh! 204 00:10:48,030 --> 00:10:49,906 Thank you for coming on short notice. 205 00:10:50,198 --> 00:10:51,449 This isn't like you, Stanley. 206 00:10:51,658 --> 00:10:54,911 What did my son say, Mr. Mackey? Did he say the S-word? 207 00:10:55,161 --> 00:10:56,704 No, it was worse than that. 208 00:10:56,954 --> 00:10:57,830 The F-word? 209 00:10:58,122 --> 00:11:01,333 Here's a short list of the things they've been saying. 210 00:11:01,584 --> 00:11:04,128 - Oh, dear God. - What the heck is a rim job? 211 00:11:04,378 --> 00:11:08,715 When you put your legs behind your head and have someone lick your ass. 212 00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:15,346 Tell Mr. Mackey this instant where you heard all these horrible phrases! 213 00:11:16,014 --> 00:11:18,307 We all swore ourselves to secrecy. 214 00:11:18,558 --> 00:11:20,142 - The Terrance and Phillip movie. - Dude! 215 00:11:20,393 --> 00:11:21,811 I wanna get out of here. 216 00:11:22,102 --> 00:11:24,021 Terrance and Phillip? Those Canadians? 217 00:11:24,271 --> 00:11:26,190 Excuse me. What is Terrance and Phillip? 218 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,734 Terrance and Phillip are two very untalented actors from Canada. 219 00:11:29,943 --> 00:11:32,237 Nothing but foul language and toilet humor! 220 00:11:32,487 --> 00:11:36,824 I'll send a warning to parents before more children see Terrance and Phillip. 221 00:11:37,074 --> 00:11:38,618 - Everybody's fucking seen it. - Eric! 222 00:11:38,868 --> 00:11:42,288 I can't help myself. That movie has warped my fragile little mind. 223 00:11:49,586 --> 00:11:51,588 STAN SINGS: There's the girl that I like 224 00:11:53,423 --> 00:11:56,092 Over there laughing with that smart... 225 00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,970 You're holding up the goddamn lunch line! 226 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:01,347 Hello, there, children. 227 00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:02,890 - Hey, Chef. - How's it going? 228 00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:04,224 - Bad. - Why bad? 229 00:12:04,475 --> 00:12:07,936 We got busted for swearing. We can't ever see that movie again. 230 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:09,062 That's too bad. 231 00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:11,940 You should've seen Kyle when his mom showed up. He was scared. 232 00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:15,193 - Shut up, Cartman! - I'd be scared. Your mom's a bitch. 233 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:16,986 Don't call her a bitch, you fat fuck! 234 00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,071 Don't call me fat, you fucking son of a bitch! 235 00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:21,740 Where did you learn to talk like that? 236 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,200 CARTMAN: Pretty fucking sweet, huh? 237 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:26,203 How do you make a woman like you more than any other guy? 238 00:12:26,703 --> 00:12:29,289 That's easy. You just gotta find the clitoris. 239 00:12:29,748 --> 00:12:30,916 - Huh? - Oops! 240 00:12:31,124 --> 00:12:32,542 What does "find the clitoris" mean? 241 00:12:32,834 --> 00:12:34,252 Forget I said anything. 242 00:12:34,502 --> 00:12:36,421 Move along. You're holding up the line. 243 00:12:36,671 --> 00:12:38,839 Do you know where I can find the clitoris? 244 00:12:39,090 --> 00:12:41,300 - The what? - Is that like finding Jesus? 245 00:12:41,509 --> 00:12:42,843 MR. MACKEY OVER P. A: Attention, students. 246 00:12:43,093 --> 00:12:46,054 We are now enforcing a new dress code at South Park Elementary. 247 00:12:46,263 --> 00:12:48,724 Terrance and Phillip shirts are not allowed in school. 248 00:12:49,015 --> 00:12:52,769 Anyone wearing a Terrance and Phillip shirt is to be sent home immediately. 249 00:12:54,103 --> 00:12:55,563 KIDS: Hooray! 250 00:13:00,026 --> 00:13:03,445 The Canadian film, Asses of Fire, is number one at the box office. 251 00:13:03,654 --> 00:13:05,447 Is the film destroying American youth? 252 00:13:05,697 --> 00:13:08,116 Here with a special report is a midget in a bikini. 253 00:13:08,367 --> 00:13:11,953 The effects of the Canadian comedy are far-reaching indeed. 254 00:13:12,203 --> 00:13:16,582 All over America, children seem to be influenced, like at this spelling bee. 255 00:13:16,833 --> 00:13:18,793 This is for the silver medal. 256 00:13:19,126 --> 00:13:20,961 Spell "forensics." 257 00:13:21,337 --> 00:13:23,547 Why should I fucking have to spell "forensics"? 258 00:13:24,923 --> 00:13:28,010 Here you go. S-U-C-K-M-Y-A-S-S. 259 00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:29,511 Forensics. 260 00:13:29,761 --> 00:13:33,848 The devastating impact of the duo can also be seen with their hit song... 261 00:13:34,057 --> 00:13:36,267 ..."Shut Your Fucking Face, Uncle Fucker." 262 00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:38,603 RAPPING: Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker 263 00:13:39,145 --> 00:13:42,439 You're a boner-biting bastard Uncle Fucker 264 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,566 I told you that we won 't stop 265 00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,318 I told you that we won 't stop 266 00:13:46,568 --> 00:13:47,569 Back to you, Tom. 267 00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,237 Thanks. Shocking report. 268 00:13:49,446 --> 00:13:51,823 The controversy began in the town of South Park... 269 00:13:52,073 --> 00:13:54,325 ...where the PTA is trying to ban the movie. 270 00:13:54,576 --> 00:13:58,287 With us tonight is the head of the PTA, Sheila Broflovski. 271 00:13:58,496 --> 00:14:01,207 - And the Canadian minister of movies. - Thanks for having me. 272 00:14:01,415 --> 00:14:04,918 Parents are concerned about your country's entertainment. 273 00:14:05,169 --> 00:14:07,045 The film isn 't intended for children... 274 00:14:07,296 --> 00:14:09,131 But of course children will see it. 275 00:14:09,381 --> 00:14:12,050 Can I finish? We're surprised by your outrage. 276 00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:14,969 - You just don 't care! - Can I finish? Hello? 277 00:14:15,219 --> 00:14:17,805 The U. S. Has graphic violence on TV all the time. 278 00:14:18,014 --> 00:14:20,391 We can 't believe a movie with foul language pisses you off. 279 00:14:20,599 --> 00:14:22,476 - Because it's evil! - Can I finish?! 280 00:14:22,726 --> 00:14:24,478 Please can I finish?! 281 00:14:25,437 --> 00:14:26,438 Okay, I'm finished. 282 00:14:26,730 --> 00:14:30,192 This film isn 't the first troublesome thing to come out of Canada. 283 00:14:30,442 --> 00:14:31,860 Let's not forget Bryan Adams. 284 00:14:32,068 --> 00:14:34,946 Our government's apologized for Bryan Adams on several occasions. 285 00:14:35,154 --> 00:14:38,950 You Canadians are all the same, with your beady eyes and flapping heads. 286 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,785 I resent that! I find that racist... 287 00:14:41,035 --> 00:14:43,287 Our children are now addicted to your puke! 288 00:14:43,495 --> 00:14:44,496 You are a racist! 289 00:14:44,747 --> 00:14:49,668 It'll take us weeks to erase the damage this film has done to our children. 290 00:14:52,087 --> 00:14:55,715 Kids, I want to welcome you to rehabilitation, m'kay? 291 00:14:55,965 --> 00:14:58,467 Your mothers insisted you be taken from your schoolwork... 292 00:14:58,759 --> 00:15:01,262 ...and placed into rehab to learn not to swear. 293 00:15:01,512 --> 00:15:03,097 I don't belong with these rogues. 294 00:15:03,305 --> 00:15:05,849 I attended Yardale and had a 4.0 grade point average. 295 00:15:06,099 --> 00:15:08,518 - You're a fucking faggot. - M'kay, you see? 296 00:15:08,769 --> 00:15:12,814 This is what I'm talking about. We have to get you off of foul language. 297 00:15:13,064 --> 00:15:15,275 - How are we gonna do that? - Listen here. 298 00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:18,361 RECITING: There are times when you get Suckered in 299 00:15:18,819 --> 00:15:22,239 By drugs and alcohol And sex with women, m 'kay? 300 00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,742 But it's when you Do these things too much 301 00:15:25,033 --> 00:15:29,788 That you've become an addict And must get back in touch 302 00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:33,041 SINGING: You can do it It's all up to you, m 'kay 303 00:15:33,917 --> 00:15:37,462 With a little plan You can change your life today 304 00:15:37,795 --> 00:15:40,006 Don 't spend your life Addicted to smack 305 00:15:40,256 --> 00:15:42,091 Homeless Giving handjobs for crack 306 00:15:42,299 --> 00:15:46,053 Follow my plan And very soon you will say 307 00:15:46,303 --> 00:15:47,679 It's easy, m 'kay 308 00:15:48,597 --> 00:15:50,056 Instead of "ass" say "buns" 309 00:15:50,265 --> 00:15:52,559 Like "kiss my buns" Or "You're a buns-hole" 310 00:15:52,767 --> 00:15:54,227 Instead of "shit" say "poo" 311 00:15:54,435 --> 00:15:56,729 As in "bull poo" And "This poo is cold" 312 00:15:56,938 --> 00:15:58,272 With "bitch" drop the "T" 313 00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,941 'Cause "bich" is Latin For generosity 314 00:16:01,192 --> 00:16:02,359 Don 't say "fuck" anymore 315 00:16:02,568 --> 00:16:04,778 'Cause "fuck" is the worst word That you can say 316 00:16:05,070 --> 00:16:07,114 So just use the word "m 'kay" 317 00:16:07,364 --> 00:16:09,908 We can do it It's all up to us, m 'kay 318 00:16:11,159 --> 00:16:13,244 With a little plan We can change our lives today 319 00:16:13,495 --> 00:16:14,954 You can change it today 320 00:16:15,204 --> 00:16:17,373 Don 't spend your life Shooting up in the trash 321 00:16:17,623 --> 00:16:19,458 Homeless Giving handjobs for cash 322 00:16:19,709 --> 00:16:22,461 Follow this plan And very soon you will say 323 00:16:22,711 --> 00:16:24,797 It's easy, m 'kay 324 00:16:25,589 --> 00:16:26,423 Step one 325 00:16:26,673 --> 00:16:28,383 - Say "buns" - Like "Kiss my buns" 326 00:16:28,633 --> 00:16:29,801 Or "You're a buns-hole" 327 00:16:30,051 --> 00:16:31,344 - Step two - Instead of "shit" say "poo" 328 00:16:31,553 --> 00:16:34,055 - As in "bull poo" - And "This poo is cold" 329 00:16:34,305 --> 00:16:35,640 - Step three - With "bitch" drop the "T" 330 00:16:35,848 --> 00:16:38,142 'Cause "bich" is Latin for generosity 331 00:16:38,392 --> 00:16:39,810 - Step four - Don 't say "fuck" anymore 332 00:16:40,102 --> 00:16:41,979 It's the worst word You can say 333 00:16:42,229 --> 00:16:43,981 "Fuck" is the worst word You can say 334 00:16:44,189 --> 00:16:46,608 We shouldn 't say "fuck" Fuck no! 335 00:16:46,858 --> 00:16:48,068 You're cured You can go 336 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:50,403 Don 't spend your life Shooting up in the trash 337 00:16:50,654 --> 00:16:52,489 Homeless Giving handjobs for cash 338 00:16:52,739 --> 00:16:55,783 Follow this plan And very soon you will say 339 00:16:55,992 --> 00:16:57,577 It's easy, m 'kay 340 00:17:09,546 --> 00:17:14,259 Now you're cured. Take the rest of the afternoon off for personal reflection. 341 00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:18,387 Find your own constructive way to better yourself, m'kay? 342 00:17:20,347 --> 00:17:22,641 I hope you've learned something through this experience. 343 00:17:22,891 --> 00:17:26,228 I did. I learned that you are a boner-biting, dick-fart fuck-face. 344 00:17:28,355 --> 00:17:30,232 Want to see the northern lights? 345 00:17:32,734 --> 00:17:35,695 You burned yourself to death by lighting your fart. 346 00:17:35,903 --> 00:17:37,822 I sure did, Phillip. 347 00:17:38,614 --> 00:17:42,201 Uncle Fucker! Good night. 348 00:17:43,243 --> 00:17:45,871 Oh, man. This movie rules. 349 00:17:46,872 --> 00:17:49,833 Man, that movie gets better every time I see it. 350 00:17:50,125 --> 00:17:52,627 That part about lighting farts is bullshit. 351 00:17:52,877 --> 00:17:54,295 - You can't do that. KENNY: Yes, you can. 352 00:17:54,671 --> 00:17:55,713 No way. 353 00:17:55,963 --> 00:17:56,798 [ KENNY MUMBLES ] 354 00:17:57,048 --> 00:18:00,676 Okay, Kenny. I'll bet you $ 100 you can't light a fart on fire. 355 00:18:07,182 --> 00:18:09,226 - Holy shit, dude! - Look out! 356 00:18:10,477 --> 00:18:11,978 Shit! Shit! 357 00:18:12,228 --> 00:18:14,147 Help! Somebody do something! 358 00:18:14,397 --> 00:18:15,732 This stick is on fire! 359 00:18:21,946 --> 00:18:23,447 Oh, my God! You killed Kenny! 360 00:18:23,656 --> 00:18:24,615 You bastard! 361 00:18:24,948 --> 00:18:27,326 I guess you can light a fart on fire. 362 00:18:30,078 --> 00:18:32,414 DOCTOR: Load that IV with 70cc's of sodium Pentothal. 363 00:18:32,664 --> 00:18:33,623 NURSE: We called the parents. 364 00:18:33,957 --> 00:18:36,918 Our moms will find out we went to the movie again. 365 00:18:37,251 --> 00:18:38,336 DOCTOR: Vacuum! 366 00:18:38,669 --> 00:18:40,713 Try to untangle his trachea and esophagus. 367 00:18:41,881 --> 00:18:43,674 DOCTOR: No, that doesn't go there! 368 00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:48,136 - Gross, Stan! - That's sick! 369 00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:49,971 NURSE: Watch his liver! ASSISTANT: I'll get it. 370 00:18:51,139 --> 00:18:53,516 DOCTOR: We have little time left. We'll lose him soon. 371 00:18:53,808 --> 00:18:54,892 His heart stopped. 372 00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:57,228 Get it out of there. Zap this, quick! 373 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,190 Who's making a potato? 374 00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:02,983 My bad. I missed lunch. 375 00:19:03,192 --> 00:19:05,777 Damn it, I'm not gonna lose this kid! 376 00:19:06,069 --> 00:19:08,113 DOCTOR: Close him up. We've done all we can. 377 00:19:08,363 --> 00:19:10,865 The rest is up to God. 378 00:19:13,201 --> 00:19:14,744 DOCTOR: Kenny, can you hear me? KENNY: Shit, dude. 379 00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:16,079 How are you feeling? 380 00:19:17,788 --> 00:19:19,999 Great. Son, I have some bad news. 381 00:19:20,207 --> 00:19:24,086 We replaced your heart with a potato. You have three seconds to live. 382 00:19:26,338 --> 00:19:29,049 - Fucking weak, dude! - Oh, my God. They killed Kenny! 383 00:19:29,299 --> 00:19:30,342 You bastards! 384 00:19:30,592 --> 00:19:31,718 Damn it! 385 00:19:31,968 --> 00:19:35,430 It never gets any easier! 386 00:19:38,558 --> 00:19:41,268 I bet him he couldn't do it. I bet him $ 100. 387 00:19:41,519 --> 00:19:44,897 - It's not your fault. - No, I'm stoked I don't have to pay. 388 00:19:45,147 --> 00:19:48,483 That's real nice! He was your friend, you fat fuck! 389 00:19:48,734 --> 00:19:51,569 So, boys, you saw that movie again? 390 00:19:51,861 --> 00:19:54,239 - Yes. - Well, Kyle, I have had it! 391 00:19:54,489 --> 00:19:56,741 You are grounded for the next two weeks! 392 00:19:57,867 --> 00:19:58,743 Grounded? 393 00:19:58,951 --> 00:20:00,494 And you, Stan. Come on. 394 00:20:00,703 --> 00:20:02,788 And you're grounded for three weeks, Eric. 395 00:20:03,038 --> 00:20:05,040 Why am I grounded more? That's bullshit. 396 00:20:05,290 --> 00:20:06,250 What, what, what?! 397 00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:08,960 What was that word, young man? 398 00:20:23,015 --> 00:20:25,642 MALE SINGER: Little boy at peace 399 00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:26,977 What is this place 400 00:20:27,853 --> 00:20:29,688 Beyond the stars 401 00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:32,690 Open up your eyes 402 00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,609 What are these things 403 00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:36,569 You're moving toward 404 00:20:37,195 --> 00:20:39,363 Head so full of wonder 405 00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:42,491 Worries in the past 406 00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:45,285 Could it be That you are free at last 407 00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:48,705 No! 408 00:20:55,378 --> 00:20:57,088 Little boy, you're going to hell 409 00:20:58,047 --> 00:21:00,966 You said bad words, threw rocks at birds Now this is your hotel 410 00:21:01,175 --> 00:21:03,677 This ain 't Disneyland, it's hell 411 00:21:05,429 --> 00:21:07,347 Little boy, it's time for you to pay 412 00:21:08,056 --> 00:21:10,600 For not going to church And staring at boobs every day 413 00:21:10,850 --> 00:21:13,561 Thought you were in bed Instead you're in hell 414 00:21:15,146 --> 00:21:18,274 No, hell isn 't good Hell isn 't good, hell 415 00:21:19,275 --> 00:21:22,278 No, hell isn 't good Hell isn 't good, yeah 416 00:21:23,779 --> 00:21:25,322 Fuck-face, have you seen Gracie? 417 00:21:25,572 --> 00:21:29,034 There is orderliness in the universe. 418 00:21:42,588 --> 00:21:45,424 Parents, our children are out of control! 419 00:21:45,674 --> 00:21:49,469 This is what happens when toilet humor is allowed to run rampant! 420 00:21:49,678 --> 00:21:51,554 That's right. Kenny set himself on fire... 421 00:21:51,763 --> 00:21:54,641 ...because he saw Terrance and Phillip do it in that dirty movie. 422 00:21:54,849 --> 00:21:57,852 We must stop dirty language from getting to our children's ears. 423 00:21:58,102 --> 00:22:00,187 We must go fight the source of it! 424 00:22:00,396 --> 00:22:01,856 But what is the source? 425 00:22:02,064 --> 00:22:03,899 That's easy. 426 00:22:04,149 --> 00:22:06,860 SINGING: Times have changed Our kids are getting worse 427 00:22:07,069 --> 00:22:09,988 They won 't obey their parents They just want to fart and curse 428 00:22:10,197 --> 00:22:11,573 Should we blame the government 429 00:22:11,781 --> 00:22:13,116 Or blame society 430 00:22:13,324 --> 00:22:15,743 Or should we blame the images on TV 431 00:22:15,952 --> 00:22:17,620 No, blame Canada! 432 00:22:17,829 --> 00:22:18,913 Blame Canada 433 00:22:19,163 --> 00:22:22,333 With all their beady little eyes And flappin ' heads so full of lies 434 00:22:22,541 --> 00:22:23,751 Blame Canada 435 00:22:23,959 --> 00:22:25,335 Blame Canada 436 00:22:25,544 --> 00:22:28,046 - We need to form a full assault - It's Canada 's fault 437 00:22:29,589 --> 00:22:31,883 Don 't blame me for my son Stan 438 00:22:32,133 --> 00:22:35,303 He saw the darn cartoon And now he's off to join the Klan 439 00:22:35,511 --> 00:22:38,097 And my boy Eric once Had my picture on his shelf 440 00:22:38,347 --> 00:22:40,724 But now when I see him He tells me to fuck myself 441 00:22:40,933 --> 00:22:42,434 Well, blame Canada 442 00:22:42,643 --> 00:22:44,019 Blame Canada 443 00:22:44,228 --> 00:22:46,897 It seems that everything's gone wrong Since Canada came along 444 00:22:50,692 --> 00:22:53,778 They're not even a real country anyway 445 00:22:53,987 --> 00:22:57,115 My son could've been a doctor Or a lawyer rich and true 446 00:22:57,323 --> 00:23:00,242 Instead he burned up like a piggy On a barbecue 447 00:23:00,451 --> 00:23:01,869 Should we blame the matches 448 00:23:02,077 --> 00:23:05,330 Should we blame the fire Or the doctors who allowed him to expire 449 00:23:05,539 --> 00:23:07,541 Heck, no! Blame Canada 450 00:23:07,749 --> 00:23:09,209 Blame Canada 451 00:23:09,459 --> 00:23:12,545 - With all their hockey hullabaloo - And that bitch Anne Murray too 452 00:23:16,841 --> 00:23:19,593 The smut and trash we must bash The laughs and fun must be undone 453 00:23:19,844 --> 00:23:21,178 We must lament and cause a fuss 454 00:23:21,387 --> 00:23:24,473 Before somebody thinks of blaming us 455 00:23:31,146 --> 00:23:33,523 SHELLEY: All right, you turds, listen up! 456 00:23:33,731 --> 00:23:37,110 Your moms are at a meeting and they put me in charge of you. 457 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:40,237 But you're still grounded, so you're not allowed to have any fun! 458 00:23:40,488 --> 00:23:41,572 Any questions? 459 00:23:41,780 --> 00:23:43,115 Shelley, where's the clitoris? 460 00:23:45,659 --> 00:23:48,203 You all sit there and keep your mouths shut... 461 00:23:48,412 --> 00:23:52,040 ...while I go listen to my Britney Spears records. 462 00:23:53,833 --> 00:23:54,709 Okay, it's clear! 463 00:23:56,919 --> 00:23:59,255 Our next guests have the number one movie in the world. 464 00:23:59,505 --> 00:24:02,174 Please welcome Terrance and Phillip! 465 00:24:05,594 --> 00:24:07,387 - Hello, Conan. - Hello, Brooke Shields. 466 00:24:07,596 --> 00:24:11,766 Some people claim that your Canadian humor is just immature fart jokes. 467 00:24:12,017 --> 00:24:15,061 That's not true. Take this classic Canadian joke. 468 00:24:16,354 --> 00:24:18,314 - Excuse me, Terrance. - Yes, Phillip? 469 00:24:20,733 --> 00:24:21,609 Gosh darn it! 470 00:24:23,152 --> 00:24:25,028 - Good one. Cheers. - Cheers, fuck-face. 471 00:24:25,237 --> 00:24:26,989 You can't say that on TV. 472 00:24:27,197 --> 00:24:29,324 Now Terrance smells like my ass. 473 00:24:29,574 --> 00:24:32,952 I farted once on the set of Blue Lagoon. 474 00:24:36,622 --> 00:24:39,000 Does it make you nervous to be in America? 475 00:24:39,250 --> 00:24:42,544 Our organizations want you arrested for destroying children. 476 00:24:42,753 --> 00:24:45,506 - They'd have to find us first. - You're right. Now! 477 00:24:47,466 --> 00:24:52,095 Mothers Against Canada is placing you under citizen's arrest! 478 00:24:52,303 --> 00:24:53,930 - Mom? - What's going on? 479 00:24:54,138 --> 00:24:56,099 We have a court order for your arrest! 480 00:24:56,307 --> 00:24:57,767 Phillip, we've been ambushed! 481 00:24:57,975 --> 00:24:59,435 Here you go, Conan. 482 00:24:59,643 --> 00:25:02,855 This little scrotum-sucker deceived us! You are a bad man! 483 00:25:03,063 --> 00:25:04,023 Don't listen to them. 484 00:25:04,231 --> 00:25:06,692 You loved our movie, Conan. We watched it together. 485 00:25:06,900 --> 00:25:08,276 Remember? You laughed. 486 00:25:08,527 --> 00:25:10,528 What have I done? 487 00:25:15,074 --> 00:25:16,409 [ CAR ALARM ] 488 00:25:17,535 --> 00:25:18,411 [ TURNS ALARM OFF ] 489 00:25:18,619 --> 00:25:21,872 Did you see that? They arrested Terrance and Phillip! 490 00:25:27,294 --> 00:25:28,253 As Canadian ambassador... 491 00:25:28,503 --> 00:25:31,840 ...I condemn America's actions in apprehending Terrance and Phillip. 492 00:25:32,924 --> 00:25:36,219 The entire economy of Canada relies on Terrance and Phillip. 493 00:25:36,427 --> 00:25:38,095 Without them, we'd have a recession. 494 00:25:39,388 --> 00:25:41,348 What say you, Mr. American Ambassador? 495 00:25:44,435 --> 00:25:45,435 Fuck Canada! 496 00:25:45,644 --> 00:25:46,770 Fuck you, buddy! 497 00:25:46,979 --> 00:25:48,647 Terrance and Phillip will not be released. 498 00:25:48,855 --> 00:25:51,691 They'll be put on trial for corrupting America's youth. 499 00:25:51,941 --> 00:25:53,526 What's all the fuss about? 500 00:25:53,735 --> 00:25:57,905 The fuss is aboot taking our citizens! It's aboot not censoring our art! 501 00:25:58,114 --> 00:26:00,574 It's aboot... What's so goddamn funny? 502 00:26:01,033 --> 00:26:05,287 Nothing. Could you tell us again what your argument is all about? 503 00:26:05,662 --> 00:26:09,124 This is not aboot diplomacy. This is aboot dignity. It's aboot respect. 504 00:26:09,374 --> 00:26:10,834 Aboot realizing that humor... 505 00:26:12,419 --> 00:26:16,089 Release them, or we'll give you something to cry aboot! 506 00:26:29,434 --> 00:26:32,020 Pilot to bombardier. We're nearing the target. 507 00:26:32,270 --> 00:26:33,688 Bomb's ready, buddy. 508 00:26:33,938 --> 00:26:35,315 [ PHONE RINGS ] 509 00:26:35,898 --> 00:26:37,400 No, this is Billy Baldwin. 510 00:26:37,650 --> 00:26:40,611 If you want Daniel Baldwin, call his extension, stupid! 511 00:26:40,861 --> 00:26:43,572 Alec, do you know what sucks about being a Baldwin? 512 00:26:43,781 --> 00:26:46,241 - No. What? - Nothing! 513 00:26:53,331 --> 00:26:54,791 BILLY: You missed me! 514 00:26:58,502 --> 00:27:03,132 Your mothers are making me throw away my lesson plan and teach theirs. 515 00:27:03,382 --> 00:27:05,551 How come our moms arrested Terrance and Phillip? 516 00:27:05,801 --> 00:27:06,927 Yeah. 517 00:27:07,135 --> 00:27:10,639 Your moms are just upset. They're probably all on their periods. 518 00:27:10,889 --> 00:27:11,806 Not cool. 519 00:27:12,057 --> 00:27:15,143 Wendy and I think that was a sexist statement. 520 00:27:15,393 --> 00:27:19,230 Sorry, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. 521 00:27:20,022 --> 00:27:22,983 Anyway, children, let's start off with some vocabulary. 522 00:27:23,233 --> 00:27:24,318 MR. MACKEY OVER P. A: Attention, students. 523 00:27:24,568 --> 00:27:25,444 What now? 524 00:27:25,694 --> 00:27:30,240 Come to the gymnasium immediately for a special announcement. 525 00:27:32,742 --> 00:27:35,161 - What's going on, Chef? - Something big, children. 526 00:27:35,411 --> 00:27:37,497 I can't find the clitoris. You have to help. 527 00:27:37,747 --> 00:27:39,123 Stan, the clitoris is... 528 00:27:39,332 --> 00:27:41,625 Take your seats. They're about to announce it. 529 00:27:43,168 --> 00:27:44,711 This is a state of emergency. 530 00:27:44,962 --> 00:27:48,507 Now to the White House for an announcement from the President. 531 00:27:48,882 --> 00:27:50,217 My fellow Americans... 532 00:27:50,467 --> 00:27:55,179 ...at 5 a.m. Today, a day which will live in infamy... 533 00:27:55,430 --> 00:27:58,474 ...the Canadians have bombed the Baldwins. 534 00:27:58,849 --> 00:28:03,562 In response to this, the U. S. Has declared war on Canada. 535 00:28:05,772 --> 00:28:07,399 - Oh, no. - War? 536 00:28:07,649 --> 00:28:10,569 - No, Gregory, no! - This is bad. Hold on to me. 537 00:28:10,819 --> 00:28:12,404 All the Baldwins are dead? 538 00:28:12,654 --> 00:28:15,448 It's time for us to send a message to Canadians. 539 00:28:15,657 --> 00:28:18,993 In two days, the war criminals, Terrance and Phillip... 540 00:28:19,201 --> 00:28:20,911 ...will be executed. 541 00:28:21,704 --> 00:28:22,913 They're gonna kill them? 542 00:28:23,163 --> 00:28:26,708 And now I'd like to bring up my newly appointed Secretary of Offense... 543 00:28:26,917 --> 00:28:28,794 ...Ms. Sheila Broflovski. 544 00:28:29,211 --> 00:28:30,253 Holy shit, dude! 545 00:28:30,503 --> 00:28:31,713 My fellow Americans... 546 00:28:31,921 --> 00:28:35,883 ...our neighbor to the north has abused us for the last time! 547 00:28:36,092 --> 00:28:38,219 - I have a plan... - Canadians want to fight us... 548 00:28:38,427 --> 00:28:41,388 ...because we won 't tolerate their potty-mouths. 549 00:28:41,639 --> 00:28:43,682 If it is war they want... 550 00:28:43,891 --> 00:28:46,435 ...then war they shall have! 551 00:28:48,478 --> 00:28:50,230 Dude, this is fucking weak. 552 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,774 How could things be any worse? 553 00:29:03,951 --> 00:29:06,703 Fallen one, I am Satan. 554 00:29:06,954 --> 00:29:09,539 I am your god now. 555 00:29:09,789 --> 00:29:11,166 [ KENNY SCREAMS ] 556 00:29:12,333 --> 00:29:14,252 There is no escape. 557 00:29:17,672 --> 00:29:20,591 Now feel the delightful pain. 558 00:29:20,841 --> 00:29:21,759 SADDAM: Hey, Satan. 559 00:29:22,885 --> 00:29:26,305 Did you hear the news? A war just broke out up on Earth. 560 00:29:26,763 --> 00:29:30,141 Meet Saddam Hussein, my new partner in evil. 561 00:29:30,976 --> 00:29:32,477 You're hogging all the fun. 562 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:36,272 Man, this is getting me so hot! 563 00:29:37,398 --> 00:29:39,150 Would you let me do my job? 564 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,652 Rub my nipples while I torture this little piggy. 565 00:29:41,902 --> 00:29:44,154 Could I talk to you over here? 566 00:29:46,365 --> 00:29:49,868 I don't see why you have to belittle me in front of people like that. 567 00:29:50,118 --> 00:29:51,411 Relax, guy. 568 00:29:51,661 --> 00:29:54,247 Sometimes, I think you don't have any respect for me. 569 00:29:54,747 --> 00:29:56,374 Come here, guy. 570 00:29:57,750 --> 00:29:59,251 Who's my cream puff? 571 00:29:59,585 --> 00:30:01,795 - I am. - That's my baby. 572 00:30:05,841 --> 00:30:06,842 I don't wanna be at war. 573 00:30:07,092 --> 00:30:08,969 You think they'll kill Terrance and Phillip? 574 00:30:09,177 --> 00:30:12,263 Kyle, stop being a chicken shit and stand up to your mother. 575 00:30:12,514 --> 00:30:15,391 Smack her and say, "That's enough of your shit, you bitch!" 576 00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:17,351 Don't call my mom a bitch! 577 00:30:17,602 --> 00:30:21,063 Stop it! This isn't helping. We've gotta think. Let's see. 578 00:30:21,272 --> 00:30:25,067 - What would Brian Boitano do? - Yeah, what would Brian Boitano do? 579 00:30:28,278 --> 00:30:29,404 What's going on? 580 00:30:29,654 --> 00:30:32,198 America thinks it has the right to police the world. 581 00:30:32,449 --> 00:30:36,244 Your government will kill two Canadians, an action condemned by the U.N. 582 00:30:36,494 --> 00:30:37,995 Home of the free, indeed. 583 00:30:39,664 --> 00:30:41,373 Let's play tetherball. 584 00:30:41,582 --> 00:30:44,001 This is about freedom of speech! About censorship! 585 00:30:44,209 --> 00:30:45,377 Be more political... 586 00:30:45,586 --> 00:30:47,629 STAN SINGS: There's the girl that I like 587 00:30:49,339 --> 00:30:53,092 Now it appears That she likes another guy 588 00:30:53,301 --> 00:30:57,221 It must be because He's political and stuff 589 00:30:58,389 --> 00:31:00,975 I bet I could be political too 590 00:31:01,225 --> 00:31:02,977 What do you think, Stan? 591 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:05,395 Damn it! 592 00:31:05,646 --> 00:31:08,523 - This is all Kyle's mom's fault. - Shut up, Cartman! 593 00:31:08,774 --> 00:31:10,400 Kyle's mom started that damn club. 594 00:31:10,650 --> 00:31:14,862 - All because she's a fat, stupid bitch. - Don't say it, Cartman! 595 00:31:15,071 --> 00:31:15,905 Well... 596 00:31:16,155 --> 00:31:17,949 Don't do it, Cartman. 597 00:31:18,282 --> 00:31:19,325 Well... 598 00:31:19,575 --> 00:31:21,285 I'm warning you! 599 00:31:22,328 --> 00:31:24,413 I'm sick of him calling my mom a... 600 00:31:24,663 --> 00:31:27,124 SINGING: Kyle's mom 's a witch The biggest bitch in the world 601 00:31:27,374 --> 00:31:30,710 She's a stupid bitch She's a bitch to all the boys and girls 602 00:31:31,252 --> 00:31:33,505 Shut your fucking mouth, Cartman! 603 00:31:33,796 --> 00:31:36,507 Monday and Tuesday she's a bitch Wednesday to Saturday she's a bitch 604 00:31:36,758 --> 00:31:40,719 On Sunday just to be different She's a super King Kamehameha bitch 605 00:31:41,095 --> 00:31:42,596 Come on, you all know the words. 606 00:31:42,846 --> 00:31:43,972 Have you met Kyle's mom 607 00:31:44,181 --> 00:31:45,516 She's the biggest bitch In the world 608 00:31:45,807 --> 00:31:47,684 She's a mean old bitch And she has stupid hair 609 00:31:47,934 --> 00:31:48,894 She's a bitch bitch bitch 610 00:31:50,437 --> 00:31:51,396 She's a stupid bitch 611 00:31:52,188 --> 00:31:54,566 Kyle's mom 's a bitch And she's just a dirty bitch 612 00:31:55,066 --> 00:31:57,777 Talk to kids around the world It might go something like this 613 00:31:58,069 --> 00:32:00,654 [ NONSENSICAL LYRICS ] 614 00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:11,331 Have you met Kyle's mom 615 00:32:11,581 --> 00:32:12,832 She's the biggest bitch In the world 616 00:32:13,041 --> 00:32:14,751 She's a mean old bitch And she has stupid hair 617 00:32:15,043 --> 00:32:15,918 She's a bitch bitch bitch 618 00:32:17,753 --> 00:32:18,754 She's a stupid bitch 619 00:32:19,297 --> 00:32:22,091 Kyle's mom 's a bitch And she's just a dirty bitch 620 00:32:22,383 --> 00:32:25,177 I really mean it Kyle's mom 621 00:32:25,677 --> 00:32:29,639 She's a big fat fucking bitch 622 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,601 Big old fat fucking bitch Kyle's mom 623 00:32:39,690 --> 00:32:40,941 What? 624 00:32:42,443 --> 00:32:44,403 CARTMAN: Oh, fuck. 625 00:32:44,695 --> 00:32:46,947 SHEILA: Everyone, settle down. 626 00:32:47,155 --> 00:32:49,366 As we continue to send troops into Canada... 627 00:32:49,658 --> 00:32:53,077 ...M.A.C. Is also fighting the war against potty-mouths here at home. 628 00:32:53,286 --> 00:32:57,456 Here to present the V-chip is Dr. Vosknocker. 629 00:33:00,459 --> 00:33:02,544 The machinery of the V-chip is very simple. 630 00:33:02,753 --> 00:33:04,463 It is placed under the child's skin... 631 00:33:04,671 --> 00:33:08,800 ...emitting a small shock of electricity whenever an obscenity is uttered. 632 00:33:09,009 --> 00:33:12,262 Wait a minute. This chip somehow knows if the child is swearing? 633 00:33:12,470 --> 00:33:13,596 It's like a lie detector. 634 00:33:13,805 --> 00:33:16,349 Certain things happen to you when you swear, just like when you lie. 635 00:33:16,891 --> 00:33:19,977 The chip picks up on this and gives the subject a little prick. 636 00:33:20,352 --> 00:33:23,105 Patient B-5, would you step out here, please? 637 00:33:23,355 --> 00:33:26,692 Patient B-5 here has been fitted with the new V-chip. 638 00:33:26,900 --> 00:33:27,776 My head hurts. 639 00:33:27,984 --> 00:33:31,738 Don't worry about that. Now, I want you to say "doggy." 640 00:33:32,113 --> 00:33:32,989 Doggy. 641 00:33:33,198 --> 00:33:35,033 Notice that nothing happens. 642 00:33:35,241 --> 00:33:37,952 - Now say "Montana." - Montana. 643 00:33:38,202 --> 00:33:39,036 Good. 644 00:33:39,245 --> 00:33:40,538 Now, "pillow." 645 00:33:40,830 --> 00:33:41,956 Pillow. 646 00:33:42,248 --> 00:33:45,292 All right. Now I want you to say "horse-fucker." 647 00:33:46,376 --> 00:33:48,128 Go ahead, Eric. It's all right. 648 00:33:48,420 --> 00:33:49,880 Horse-fuck... 649 00:33:51,298 --> 00:33:52,799 That hurt, goddamn... 650 00:33:53,091 --> 00:33:53,925 Fuck! 651 00:33:54,175 --> 00:33:56,969 Now I'd like you to say "big, floppy donkey dick." 652 00:33:57,887 --> 00:34:00,806 Success! The child doesn't want to swear! 653 00:34:01,056 --> 00:34:02,891 This isn't fair, you sons of bitches! 654 00:34:03,142 --> 00:34:07,437 We will start putting V-chips in all our children next week! 655 00:34:10,232 --> 00:34:13,443 ANNOUNCER: Snacky Smores presents: The March of War. 656 00:34:13,776 --> 00:34:15,069 Let's hear it for our boys. 657 00:34:15,278 --> 00:34:18,781 Clinton has called them to fight the evil Canadians. 658 00:34:19,031 --> 00:34:21,450 A full-scale attack was launched on Toronto... 659 00:34:21,659 --> 00:34:25,829 ...after the Canadians ' last bombing, which devastated the Arquettes. 660 00:34:26,079 --> 00:34:28,707 For security measures, our great government is rounding up... 661 00:34:28,915 --> 00:34:31,710 ...all citizens with Canadian blood and putting them into camps. 662 00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:35,630 Canadian-Americans are to report to one of these death camps right away. 663 00:34:35,838 --> 00:34:37,298 Did I say "death camps"? 664 00:34:37,548 --> 00:34:40,051 I meant happy camps, where you will eat the finest meals... 665 00:34:40,259 --> 00:34:42,511 ...have access to fabulous doctors and exercise regularly. 666 00:34:42,845 --> 00:34:46,682 Meanwhile, war criminals Terrance and Phillip are prepped for execution. 667 00:34:46,974 --> 00:34:48,350 Their execution will take place... 668 00:34:48,642 --> 00:34:52,062 ...during a fabulous USO show, with guest celebrities, including... 669 00:34:52,270 --> 00:34:54,314 ...Big Gay Al and Winona Ryder. 670 00:34:54,522 --> 00:34:58,484 Of course, the only way to see the USO show is to sign up for the Army! 671 00:34:58,693 --> 00:35:02,488 So join the Army and kill some Canadian scum as we continue... 672 00:35:02,696 --> 00:35:05,824 ...the march of war. Eat Snacky Smores. 673 00:35:09,035 --> 00:35:13,373 We must rid ourselves of anything Canadian. 674 00:35:14,916 --> 00:35:16,959 Don't you like Terrance and Phillip anymore? 675 00:35:17,168 --> 00:35:20,796 Course not! Mommy says I hate Canadians because they made me have a dirty mouth. 676 00:35:21,005 --> 00:35:21,755 Burn it all! 677 00:35:23,299 --> 00:35:24,967 - Hey, dudes. - What's the matter, Cartman? 678 00:35:25,259 --> 00:35:28,929 It's this V-chip. I hate it. I can't say any dirty words. 679 00:35:29,262 --> 00:35:30,764 - So you can't say "fuck"? - No. 680 00:35:31,056 --> 00:35:32,557 - And you can't say "shit"? - No. 681 00:35:33,016 --> 00:35:35,893 You can't say, "I'm Cartman, the fattest piece of shit in the world"? 682 00:35:36,144 --> 00:35:37,979 - Fuck you! - Dude. Sweet! 683 00:35:38,271 --> 00:35:41,524 This has gone far enough. It's time we talked to our moms. 684 00:35:41,732 --> 00:35:43,067 We're supposed to be grounded. 685 00:35:43,275 --> 00:35:45,527 Come on, it's time for us to get political. 686 00:35:45,819 --> 00:35:48,738 Canada will no longer corrupt our children! 687 00:35:49,030 --> 00:35:50,282 Mom, can I talk to you? 688 00:35:50,490 --> 00:35:53,243 Kyle, what are you doing here? You are grounded. 689 00:35:53,701 --> 00:35:55,745 Get back to the house and stay there! 690 00:35:55,995 --> 00:35:57,205 You too, Stanley. 691 00:35:57,455 --> 00:36:00,541 You're going too far. You can't kill Terrance and Phillip. 692 00:36:00,749 --> 00:36:02,835 We must fight for our children's futures! 693 00:36:03,085 --> 00:36:06,755 - You started a war. You have to stop it. - To make them safe again! 694 00:36:07,047 --> 00:36:09,299 Our children are precious. 695 00:36:09,508 --> 00:36:13,678 We must make a stand now! Stop at nothing! 696 00:36:14,387 --> 00:36:15,471 I told you she wouldn't listen. 697 00:36:15,722 --> 00:36:17,974 We'll have to save Terrance and Phillip ourselves. 698 00:36:18,266 --> 00:36:19,558 - What? - Think about it. 699 00:36:19,850 --> 00:36:20,893 What would Brian Boitano do? 700 00:36:21,101 --> 00:36:23,645 He'd rescue Terrance and Phillip before they're executed. 701 00:36:23,896 --> 00:36:26,565 We can't do anything. Our moms' organization is too strong. 702 00:36:26,815 --> 00:36:29,734 We'll round up all the grounded kids and start our own organization. 703 00:36:29,985 --> 00:36:31,903 An organization to help save Terrance and Phillip. 704 00:36:32,112 --> 00:36:34,155 Yeah, our own secret club. 705 00:36:34,364 --> 00:36:36,866 - I guess that could work. - We have to try. 706 00:36:37,074 --> 00:36:39,952 SINGING: What would Brian Boitano do If he was here right now 707 00:36:40,202 --> 00:36:43,580 He'd make a plan and follow through That's what Brian Boitano 'd do 708 00:36:43,789 --> 00:36:46,875 When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics Skating for the gold 709 00:36:47,084 --> 00:36:50,378 He did two salchows and a triple lutz While wearing a blindfold 710 00:36:50,587 --> 00:36:53,548 When Brian Boitano was in the Alps Fighting grizzly bears 711 00:36:53,756 --> 00:36:57,135 He used his magical fire breath And saved the maidens fair 712 00:36:57,343 --> 00:37:00,304 So what would Brian Boitano do If he were here today 713 00:37:00,513 --> 00:37:04,099 I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two That's what Brian Boitano 'd do 714 00:37:04,349 --> 00:37:07,227 I want this V-chip out of me 715 00:37:07,519 --> 00:37:10,438 It has stunted my vocabulary 716 00:37:10,647 --> 00:37:14,108 And I just want my mom To stop fighting everyone 717 00:37:14,359 --> 00:37:17,361 For Wendy, I'll be an activist That's what Brian Boitano 'd do 718 00:37:17,570 --> 00:37:20,781 That's what Brian Boitano 'd do He'd call the kids in town 719 00:37:20,990 --> 00:37:24,493 And tell them to unite for truth That's what Brian Boitano 'd do 720 00:37:24,785 --> 00:37:26,453 Someone say my name? 721 00:37:26,703 --> 00:37:28,955 - Who are you? - I'm Brian Dennehy. 722 00:37:29,164 --> 00:37:31,207 What? No, not fucking Brian Dennehy! 723 00:37:31,416 --> 00:37:33,209 Get the fuck out of here. 724 00:37:34,919 --> 00:37:37,755 When Brian Boitano traveled through time To the year 3010 725 00:37:38,297 --> 00:37:41,800 He fought the evil robot king To save the human race again 726 00:37:42,009 --> 00:37:44,511 When he built the pyramids He beat up Kublai Khan 727 00:37:45,137 --> 00:37:49,850 Because Brian Boitano Doesn 't take shit from anybody 728 00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:53,353 So let's all stick together And unite to stop our moms 729 00:37:53,603 --> 00:37:56,898 We'll save Terrance and Phillip too That's what Brian Boitano 'd do 730 00:37:57,148 --> 00:38:01,485 We'll save Terrance and Phillip too That's what Brian Boitano 'd do 731 00:38:02,152 --> 00:38:04,071 That's what Brian Boitano 'd do 732 00:38:09,201 --> 00:38:11,119 SADDAM: Hey, relax, guy. 733 00:38:11,328 --> 00:38:12,954 SATAN: There's nothing on. 734 00:38:13,163 --> 00:38:15,039 You get cranky when you're tired. 735 00:38:15,248 --> 00:38:16,416 I'm not cranky. 736 00:38:16,624 --> 00:38:21,045 What started as a spat between the U. S. And Canada is turning into WWIII. 737 00:38:21,337 --> 00:38:22,630 World War III?! 738 00:38:22,838 --> 00:38:26,008 Terrance and Phillip will be put to death for crimes... 739 00:38:27,175 --> 00:38:31,096 It has come to be. The Four Horsemen are drawing nigh. 740 00:38:31,346 --> 00:38:33,932 The time of prophecy is upon us. 741 00:38:34,140 --> 00:38:37,560 I love when you get biblical. You know exactly how to turn my crank. 742 00:38:37,768 --> 00:38:40,646 No, I'm being serious. It is the seventh sign. 743 00:38:40,855 --> 00:38:41,730 What? 744 00:38:41,939 --> 00:38:42,940 SATAN: Behold... 745 00:38:43,190 --> 00:38:45,776 ...the first signs of my reign have all come true: 746 00:38:45,984 --> 00:38:48,653 The fall of an empire, the coming of a comet... 747 00:38:48,862 --> 00:38:52,740 ...and now, when the blood of these Canadians touches American soil... 748 00:38:53,449 --> 00:38:56,369 ...it will be our time to rise. 749 00:38:57,370 --> 00:39:00,331 Yeah, man, I'm getting so hot! Let's fuck! 750 00:39:00,539 --> 00:39:04,168 Do you always think about sex? I'm talking about important stuff here. 751 00:39:04,543 --> 00:39:07,546 I'm just excited about taking over the world! Come on! 752 00:39:07,838 --> 00:39:10,090 Is sex the only thing that matters to you? 753 00:39:10,382 --> 00:39:11,925 I love you. 754 00:39:13,051 --> 00:39:14,260 I want to believe that. 755 00:39:14,469 --> 00:39:17,388 What do you say we shut off that light and get close? 756 00:39:21,517 --> 00:39:24,853 SATAN: Ow. SADDAM: You like that, don't you, bitch? 757 00:39:28,231 --> 00:39:31,192 We can use my dad's computer to call the kids together. 758 00:39:31,442 --> 00:39:33,861 Before we put a message out, do a search on "clitoris." 759 00:39:34,153 --> 00:39:35,404 Okay. 760 00:39:36,697 --> 00:39:39,741 "Found: Eight million pages with the word 'clitoris.'" 761 00:39:39,992 --> 00:39:44,204 I'll just try the first one. "You must be 18 to enter this website." 762 00:39:44,496 --> 00:39:46,456 "Welcome to German Sick Fetish Video. 763 00:39:46,748 --> 00:39:49,667 If you are under 18, do not..." Well, okay. 764 00:39:50,793 --> 00:39:52,545 [ MALE VOICE IN GERMAN ON COMPUTER ] 765 00:39:52,753 --> 00:39:54,213 It's a lady getting pooed on! 766 00:39:54,422 --> 00:39:56,674 - Is it Cartman's mom? - Very funny. 767 00:39:56,882 --> 00:39:58,300 It is Cartman's mom! 768 00:40:00,469 --> 00:40:02,512 Son of a bit...! 769 00:40:03,638 --> 00:40:05,307 Ike, you're too young for this stuff. 770 00:40:05,557 --> 00:40:06,391 Bullshitah. 771 00:40:06,599 --> 00:40:08,101 What's she doing now? 772 00:40:08,643 --> 00:40:09,477 Okey-dokey. 773 00:40:10,311 --> 00:40:11,562 [ FARTING NOISE ] 774 00:40:13,773 --> 00:40:15,149 Click it off, dude! 775 00:40:15,357 --> 00:40:17,026 What's wrong with German people? 776 00:40:17,234 --> 00:40:20,195 Let's do what we came here to do and put a message out. 777 00:40:20,404 --> 00:40:22,823 I've gotta put out an all-access e-mail. 778 00:40:23,115 --> 00:40:25,617 - Goddamn, your mom sucks! - Get to the message board! 779 00:40:25,867 --> 00:40:28,286 Can't find a Canadian server. I'll break into the mainframe. 780 00:40:29,245 --> 00:40:30,538 They've got an access code! 781 00:40:30,747 --> 00:40:32,665 I'll try to re-route the encryptions. 782 00:40:36,585 --> 00:40:39,254 Here we go. "Want to help Terrance and Phillip? 783 00:40:39,546 --> 00:40:43,550 Sneak out after you get tucked into bed tonight and meet at Carl's warehouse." 784 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:45,844 - Tell them we'll have punch and pie. - We're not. 785 00:40:46,136 --> 00:40:48,763 More people will come if they think we have punch and pie! 786 00:40:49,972 --> 00:40:51,516 "Punch and pie. 787 00:40:51,724 --> 00:40:54,769 This is top-secret. The password is..." 788 00:40:55,311 --> 00:40:57,021 "La Résistance." 789 00:40:57,980 --> 00:40:59,898 NEWSCASTER ON RADIO: So the draft will begin tomorrow... 790 00:41:00,107 --> 00:41:02,567 ...as more troops are needed to invade the Canadian border. 791 00:41:02,776 --> 00:41:05,904 The Canadian government pleads for a peaceful resolution... 792 00:41:06,112 --> 00:41:07,238 ...but we're not listening. 793 00:41:07,780 --> 00:41:08,865 Good night, hon. 794 00:41:09,073 --> 00:41:11,367 Mom, when will the war be over? 795 00:41:11,576 --> 00:41:16,247 I don't know, hon. Soon, we hope. You want it to end quickly, huh? 796 00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:19,958 - Mom? - Yes, hon? 797 00:41:20,167 --> 00:41:24,004 If you were in a German scheiße video, you'd tell me, right? 798 00:41:25,171 --> 00:41:26,464 Sure, hon. Good night. 799 00:41:37,224 --> 00:41:38,142 There's a ghost! 800 00:41:38,350 --> 00:41:39,393 [ MUMBLES ] 801 00:41:39,935 --> 00:41:41,061 Kenny, is that you? 802 00:41:41,311 --> 00:41:43,396 [ MUMBLES ] 803 00:41:43,814 --> 00:41:45,357 Satan? Satan is coming here? 804 00:41:46,691 --> 00:41:48,902 Saddam Hussein? That doesn't make sense! 805 00:41:52,572 --> 00:41:53,489 Eric, what is it? 806 00:41:53,698 --> 00:41:55,032 I saw him! I saw Kenny! 807 00:41:55,241 --> 00:41:56,617 You poor dear. 808 00:41:56,825 --> 00:41:58,494 You've been through so much. 809 00:41:58,702 --> 00:42:01,580 I bet him he couldn't light a fart on fire, and now he's pissed off. 810 00:42:01,872 --> 00:42:03,540 I can't say "pissed off"? 811 00:42:05,667 --> 00:42:07,919 The execution of Terrance and Phillip is imminent. 812 00:42:08,127 --> 00:42:11,297 Soon, Saddam and I will rule the world. 813 00:42:12,882 --> 00:42:15,676 I got some new luggage for our trip up to Earth. 814 00:42:15,885 --> 00:42:17,011 Let's fuck to celebrate! 815 00:42:17,219 --> 00:42:19,680 What's it like up on Earth? Tell me about it again. 816 00:42:19,972 --> 00:42:22,099 Let's not talk. Let's get busy. 817 00:42:22,391 --> 00:42:23,975 Remember when you first got here? 818 00:42:24,267 --> 00:42:27,228 We used to talk all night, until the sun came up. 819 00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:30,023 We would just lie in bed and talk. 820 00:42:30,314 --> 00:42:32,608 Because I was waiting to get you in bed. 821 00:42:32,900 --> 00:42:35,319 How come you always want to make love to me from behind? 822 00:42:35,528 --> 00:42:38,155 Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else? 823 00:42:38,364 --> 00:42:40,616 Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. 824 00:42:40,908 --> 00:42:43,076 Who am I gonna pretend you are? Liza Minnelli? 825 00:42:45,370 --> 00:42:47,497 Don't get all pissy! 826 00:42:54,962 --> 00:42:57,756 SINGING: Sometimes I think 827 00:42:58,007 --> 00:43:00,717 When I look up real high 828 00:43:00,968 --> 00:43:03,929 That there's such a big world up there 829 00:43:04,179 --> 00:43:07,056 I'd like to give it a try 830 00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:09,642 But then I sink 831 00:43:09,892 --> 00:43:12,687 'Cause it's here I'm supposed to stay 832 00:43:12,937 --> 00:43:15,523 But I get so lonely down here 833 00:43:15,731 --> 00:43:19,526 Tell me, why's it have to be that way? 834 00:43:20,777 --> 00:43:23,196 Up there, there is so much room 835 00:43:23,572 --> 00:43:26,241 Where babies burp and flowers bloom 836 00:43:26,491 --> 00:43:29,452 Everyone dreams, I can dream too 837 00:43:29,702 --> 00:43:30,870 Up there 838 00:43:31,162 --> 00:43:34,540 Up where the skies are ocean blue 839 00:43:34,749 --> 00:43:38,377 I could be safe and live without a care 840 00:43:38,585 --> 00:43:41,338 Up there 841 00:43:42,130 --> 00:43:44,591 They say I don 't belong 842 00:43:44,883 --> 00:43:47,469 I must stay below alone 843 00:43:48,136 --> 00:43:49,846 Because of my beliefs 844 00:43:50,138 --> 00:43:53,557 I'm supposed to stay where evil is sown 845 00:43:55,017 --> 00:43:56,560 But what is evil anyway 846 00:43:56,852 --> 00:43:59,396 Is there reason to the rhyme 847 00:43:59,855 --> 00:44:01,773 Without evil there could be no good 848 00:44:02,065 --> 00:44:06,069 So it must be good to be evil sometimes 849 00:44:07,570 --> 00:44:10,239 Up there, there is so much room 850 00:44:10,531 --> 00:44:13,117 Where babies burp and flowers bloom 851 00:44:13,409 --> 00:44:15,744 Everyone dreams, I can dream too 852 00:44:16,579 --> 00:44:17,454 Up there 853 00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:21,416 Up where the skies are ocean blue 854 00:44:21,708 --> 00:44:25,503 I could be safe and live without a care 855 00:44:26,296 --> 00:44:28,506 Live without a care 856 00:44:29,048 --> 00:44:32,301 If only I could live up there 857 00:44:33,969 --> 00:44:36,388 I want to live, I want to live up 858 00:44:41,351 --> 00:44:45,313 I want to live up there 859 00:44:56,949 --> 00:44:58,617 - You're late! - I had to ride my bike here. 860 00:44:58,867 --> 00:45:00,994 - My behind is killing me. - Your "behind"? 861 00:45:01,203 --> 00:45:03,955 I have to say "behind" because I get shocked if I say "ass." 862 00:45:04,289 --> 00:45:05,373 Did you bring the punch and pie? 863 00:45:05,582 --> 00:45:07,709 No. You guys, something happened. 864 00:45:08,001 --> 00:45:09,335 I don't think Kenny's dead. 865 00:45:10,294 --> 00:45:11,337 I saw him in my room. 866 00:45:11,546 --> 00:45:13,756 I know, Cartman. I see Kenny every day. 867 00:45:13,964 --> 00:45:15,091 - You do? - Sure, dude. 868 00:45:15,299 --> 00:45:18,427 On the face of every child, on the smile of every baby. 869 00:45:18,844 --> 00:45:22,097 This was Kenny! He said that if Terrance and Phillip die... 870 00:45:22,389 --> 00:45:25,642 ...Saddam Hussein and Satan will come up and rule the world! 871 00:45:25,850 --> 00:45:27,268 Saddam Hussein? 872 00:45:27,477 --> 00:45:28,603 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 873 00:45:32,148 --> 00:45:32,982 KYLE: Who is it? 874 00:45:33,441 --> 00:45:34,817 GREGORY: I'm here for La Résistance. 875 00:45:35,025 --> 00:45:35,943 KYLE: What's the password? 876 00:45:36,151 --> 00:45:37,319 GREGORY: I don't know. 877 00:45:37,528 --> 00:45:38,695 KYLE: Guess. 878 00:45:39,655 --> 00:45:40,906 GREGORY: Bacon. 879 00:45:41,156 --> 00:45:42,115 KYLE: Okay. 880 00:45:43,909 --> 00:45:45,869 Viva La Résistance! 881 00:45:46,161 --> 00:45:47,328 Oh, no! It's that kid! 882 00:45:47,537 --> 00:45:48,955 This is the place. 883 00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:51,833 Stan? You started La Résistance? 884 00:45:53,167 --> 00:45:55,044 You're more political than we thought. 885 00:45:55,294 --> 00:45:57,755 GREGORY: Let us get this meeting underway. Many others are coming. 886 00:46:00,882 --> 00:46:02,050 A lot of people showed up. 887 00:46:05,428 --> 00:46:10,099 Terrance and Phillip are supposed to be killed, and we think that sucks ass! 888 00:46:12,893 --> 00:46:15,479 We were to understand there'd be pie and punch. 889 00:46:15,688 --> 00:46:16,564 There isn't any. 890 00:46:20,859 --> 00:46:23,111 Terrance and Phillip are supposed to be killed... 891 00:46:23,403 --> 00:46:25,572 ...so we should prank call a bunch of policemen... 892 00:46:25,780 --> 00:46:28,074 ...and have pizzas sent to them that they didn't order. 893 00:46:28,283 --> 00:46:30,243 Viva La Résistance! 894 00:46:33,245 --> 00:46:34,622 - May I? - What? 895 00:46:35,247 --> 00:46:38,792 Terrance and Phillip are being held in a camp two kilometers from town. 896 00:46:39,001 --> 00:46:41,753 They are to be executed tomorrow during a star-studded USO show. 897 00:46:41,962 --> 00:46:42,879 Tomorrow? 898 00:46:43,088 --> 00:46:44,548 Once the show begins, we'll have an hour... 899 00:46:44,756 --> 00:46:47,050 ...to get them out of their cell and into this clearing. 900 00:46:47,300 --> 00:46:50,636 There, we will rendezvous and take them back to Canada. 901 00:46:50,845 --> 00:46:52,847 Dude, Wendy's new guy is smart. 902 00:46:53,097 --> 00:46:55,182 Meet me at the rendezvous point at 10 p.m. 903 00:46:55,391 --> 00:46:58,185 Sneaking in and breaking them out will be dangerous... 904 00:46:58,477 --> 00:46:59,394 ...so I'll go myself. 905 00:47:00,979 --> 00:47:02,147 No! We're going! 906 00:47:03,231 --> 00:47:06,443 We started La Résistance. We'll get them and meet at the rendezvous point. 907 00:47:06,651 --> 00:47:09,153 This will be very dangerous. Are you quite sure? 908 00:47:09,362 --> 00:47:10,238 Fuck that! 909 00:47:10,446 --> 00:47:14,742 Do you want that V-chip in you forever? We'll go. Let's run through the plan. 910 00:47:24,834 --> 00:47:29,756 Oh, boy! Military action, Ned! Let's kill us some goddamn Australians! 911 00:47:29,964 --> 00:47:32,091 I think we're fighting Canadians. 912 00:47:32,341 --> 00:47:34,301 Canadians, Australians, what's the difference? 913 00:47:34,510 --> 00:47:38,931 This uniform makes me feel like a tough, brute man, Mr. Hat. 914 00:47:39,139 --> 00:47:40,849 It sure does, Mr. Garrison. 915 00:47:41,099 --> 00:47:42,934 I can't wait for our first shore leave... 916 00:47:43,185 --> 00:47:46,271 ...so I can get me some fucking poon tang. 917 00:47:46,730 --> 00:47:50,858 Pay attention! Tomorrow night is the USO show for all you troops. 918 00:47:51,067 --> 00:47:54,403 There will be celebrities, followed by the execution of Terrance and Phillip. 919 00:47:54,612 --> 00:47:56,071 [ CHEERING ] 920 00:47:56,363 --> 00:48:00,409 After the show, we will finally be sending ground troops into Canada. 921 00:48:00,659 --> 00:48:01,827 So let's strategize. 922 00:48:02,035 --> 00:48:03,120 Map! 923 00:48:03,870 --> 00:48:05,872 Our sources have told us that the Canadians... 924 00:48:06,164 --> 00:48:09,083 ...are preparing for our invasion, so we must use caution. 925 00:48:09,292 --> 00:48:11,461 Each battalion has a specific code name and mission. 926 00:48:11,669 --> 00:48:13,421 Battalion 5, raise your hands. 927 00:48:14,046 --> 00:48:16,423 You will be the all-important first attack wave... 928 00:48:16,632 --> 00:48:18,926 ...which we will call "Operation Human Shield." 929 00:48:19,343 --> 00:48:20,469 Wait a minute! 930 00:48:20,677 --> 00:48:23,555 Keep in mind Operation Human Shield will suffer heavy losses. 931 00:48:23,805 --> 00:48:25,640 Battalion 14? 932 00:48:25,890 --> 00:48:28,434 Right. You are Operation Get-Behind-the-Darkies. 933 00:48:28,643 --> 00:48:32,104 You will follow Battalion 5. Try not to get killed, for God's sake. 934 00:48:32,396 --> 00:48:33,773 Are there are any questions? 935 00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:35,274 Yes, soldier. 936 00:48:35,483 --> 00:48:37,526 Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation? 937 00:48:38,152 --> 00:48:39,486 I don't listen to hip-hop. 938 00:48:39,903 --> 00:48:43,949 After that, we will march into the heart of Canada, and we will... 939 00:48:44,157 --> 00:48:45,825 I'm gonna get you! 940 00:48:46,034 --> 00:48:47,702 What's wrong with this thing? 941 00:48:48,578 --> 00:48:50,163 It's fucking Windows 98! 942 00:48:50,371 --> 00:48:51,581 Get Bill Gates in here! 943 00:48:55,334 --> 00:48:59,171 You told us Windows 98 would be faster, with better access to the Internet! 944 00:48:59,505 --> 00:49:01,381 It is faster. Over five million... 945 00:49:02,924 --> 00:49:04,509 All right, men, get lots of rest... 946 00:49:04,718 --> 00:49:07,387 ...and prepare to... 947 00:49:10,473 --> 00:49:12,767 After you have Terrance and Phillip, make your way to this ridge. 948 00:49:12,975 --> 00:49:14,894 We will wait for you. But not for long... 949 00:49:15,144 --> 00:49:16,979 ...so if you're not there at 10, we'll have to leave. 950 00:49:17,646 --> 00:49:20,732 You're brave, but you'll need help from someone who's done this before. 951 00:49:20,983 --> 00:49:23,568 - Here's the address of "The Mole." - "The Mole?" 952 00:49:23,777 --> 00:49:27,655 He is an expert in covert operations. Your first task will be obtaining him. 953 00:49:27,864 --> 00:49:32,410 Get lots of sleep. Tomorrow we will all be risking our lives for freedom. 954 00:49:32,618 --> 00:49:36,372 SINGING: God has smiled upon you this day 955 00:49:37,373 --> 00:49:41,835 The fate of a nation in your hands 956 00:49:42,294 --> 00:49:44,629 And blessed be the children here 957 00:49:44,921 --> 00:49:47,465 Who fight with all our bravery 958 00:49:47,757 --> 00:49:52,094 Till only the righteous stand 959 00:49:52,678 --> 00:49:55,890 You see the distant flames They bellow in the night 960 00:49:56,098 --> 00:49:59,351 You fight in all our names For what we know is right 961 00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:02,396 And when you all get shot And cannot carry on 962 00:50:02,687 --> 00:50:05,398 Though you die, La Résistance lives on 963 00:50:06,066 --> 00:50:09,027 You may get stabbed in the head With a dagger or a sword 964 00:50:09,319 --> 00:50:12,572 You may be burned to death Or skinned alive or worse 965 00:50:12,780 --> 00:50:15,699 But when they torture you You will not feel the need to run 966 00:50:15,908 --> 00:50:18,744 For though you die, La Résistance lives on 967 00:50:18,994 --> 00:50:21,955 Blame Canada Blame Canada 968 00:50:22,164 --> 00:50:25,208 The country's gone awry Tomorrow night these freaks will fry 969 00:50:26,459 --> 00:50:29,170 Tomorrow night Our lives will change 970 00:50:29,545 --> 00:50:32,381 Tomorrow night We'll be entertained 971 00:50:32,715 --> 00:50:36,385 An execution, what a sight Tomorrow night 972 00:50:36,635 --> 00:50:39,346 There's so much room Babies burp and flowers bloom 973 00:50:39,555 --> 00:50:42,599 Tomorrow night up there is doomed And so I will be going soon 974 00:50:42,808 --> 00:50:45,018 Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker 975 00:50:45,310 --> 00:50:48,271 You're a boner-biting bastard Uncle Fucker 976 00:50:48,730 --> 00:50:51,983 - We may be out of luck - Tomorrow night, we're pretty fucked 977 00:50:52,191 --> 00:50:54,652 Why'd our mothers start this war What are they fighting for 978 00:50:54,944 --> 00:50:56,654 When did this song become a marathon 979 00:50:57,946 --> 00:51:00,782 When Canada is dead and gone There'll be no more Celine Dion 980 00:51:01,033 --> 00:51:03,618 They may cut your dick in half And serve it to a pig 981 00:51:03,827 --> 00:51:06,704 And though it hurts, you'll laugh And dance a dickless jig 982 00:51:07,455 --> 00:51:09,791 That's the way it goes In war you're shat upon 983 00:51:10,083 --> 00:51:13,336 Though you die La Résistance lives on 984 00:51:26,347 --> 00:51:30,018 I'm so excited. Just one more day until we can take over the world. 985 00:51:30,268 --> 00:51:32,687 I don't know if I can sleep, if you know what I mean. 986 00:51:32,895 --> 00:51:36,649 This book talks about how people communicate differently. 987 00:51:36,857 --> 00:51:40,110 I communicate by wanting you to ask me questions, and you... 988 00:51:40,319 --> 00:51:42,571 That is interesting. Let's fuck! 989 00:51:42,863 --> 00:51:46,699 Saddam, I'm trying to have a nice conversation with you! 990 00:51:47,492 --> 00:51:49,827 Now that is just not appropriate! 991 00:51:50,119 --> 00:51:52,955 Come on, I'm just fucking with you! It's not real! 992 00:51:53,247 --> 00:51:56,458 - Well, that's still not appropriate. - Hey, daddy. 993 00:51:57,376 --> 00:51:59,586 It's not real, either! Come on, guy! 994 00:52:02,506 --> 00:52:03,840 KENNY: What's wrong? 995 00:52:06,301 --> 00:52:09,178 Soon the world will belong to me. 996 00:52:10,221 --> 00:52:11,472 KENNY: What's the matter, dude? 997 00:52:11,722 --> 00:52:15,059 It's Saddam. He doesn't nurture my emotions. 998 00:52:15,309 --> 00:52:18,604 He just wants sex and can't learn to communicate. 999 00:52:18,854 --> 00:52:20,647 - Why don't you leave him? - You're right. 1000 00:52:20,897 --> 00:52:22,732 I should leave him. I'll tell him... 1001 00:52:22,983 --> 00:52:25,568 ..."Saddam, I'm going to Earth to rule alone!" 1002 00:52:25,777 --> 00:52:28,905 - I'm strong and I don't need him! - Good for you! 1003 00:52:32,867 --> 00:52:34,827 SINGING: Today's the day for the USO show 1004 00:52:35,119 --> 00:52:36,745 We're so happy we get to go 1005 00:52:37,204 --> 00:52:39,206 I don 't know but I've been told 1006 00:52:39,456 --> 00:52:40,916 Canadian pussy is mighty cold 1007 00:52:41,124 --> 00:52:43,168 Stay in the attic, because if they find you... 1008 00:52:43,460 --> 00:52:45,211 ...they'll put you in a concentration camp. 1009 00:52:46,796 --> 00:52:48,840 Don't worry. We'll put an end to this. 1010 00:52:49,090 --> 00:52:52,343 Then I'll make Mom come home, and we'll all be a family again. 1011 00:52:56,513 --> 00:52:58,474 [ IKE BABBLES ] 1012 00:53:13,279 --> 00:53:14,697 - Hello? - Hi. 1013 00:53:14,947 --> 00:53:16,657 We need to speak with The Mole. 1014 00:53:17,032 --> 00:53:20,744 I'm sorry. The Mole is grounded. He can't come out and play. 1015 00:53:20,953 --> 00:53:22,037 - What?! - He's a kid? 1016 00:53:22,245 --> 00:53:24,372 He said very naughty things about God. 1017 00:53:24,581 --> 00:53:26,958 Can we just talk to him for five seconds? 1018 00:53:27,208 --> 00:53:30,253 Well, all right. Christophe! 1019 00:53:31,921 --> 00:53:35,007 We're gonna rescue Terrance and Phillip from the USO show... 1020 00:53:35,883 --> 00:53:36,717 Who sent you? 1021 00:53:36,926 --> 00:53:38,635 Gregory! He said you could sneak us in. 1022 00:53:38,844 --> 00:53:41,179 Are you telling me you intend to break into the USO show... 1023 00:53:41,430 --> 00:53:44,516 ...filled with thousands of soldiers and break out Terrance and Phillip? 1024 00:53:44,766 --> 00:53:46,434 I thought it was a stupid idea too. 1025 00:53:46,726 --> 00:53:50,146 We're La Résistance. We wanna save Terrance and Phillip and stop the war. 1026 00:53:50,396 --> 00:53:53,232 I can't help you. I'm grounded for the next three days. 1027 00:53:53,441 --> 00:53:55,651 So are we. Our parents think we're home right now. 1028 00:53:55,860 --> 00:53:57,236 - Why are you grounded? - Why? 1029 00:53:57,486 --> 00:54:00,530 Because God hates me. He has made my life miserable. 1030 00:54:00,739 --> 00:54:03,325 So I call Him a cocksucking asshole, and I get grounded. 1031 00:54:03,533 --> 00:54:05,285 - So will you help us? - Very well. 1032 00:54:05,493 --> 00:54:08,413 Meet me in the backyard in five minutes. Viva La Résistance. 1033 00:54:08,621 --> 00:54:10,373 We'll show God that we won't fucking... 1034 00:54:10,581 --> 00:54:12,041 What? Christophe, get in here! 1035 00:54:12,250 --> 00:54:13,668 Coming, mother. 1036 00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:17,796 I must be strong. I must be strong. 1037 00:54:18,297 --> 00:54:20,173 Saddam, I need to talk to you. 1038 00:54:20,382 --> 00:54:24,135 Get packing, bitch. We have to go! We're running out of time! 1039 00:54:24,386 --> 00:54:27,597 Saddam, sometimes you can love a person very much... 1040 00:54:27,805 --> 00:54:29,599 ...but still know they aren't right for you. 1041 00:54:29,807 --> 00:54:31,392 What are you talking about? 1042 00:54:31,642 --> 00:54:33,936 You treat me like shit! I'm leaving you! 1043 00:54:34,145 --> 00:54:36,105 I'm going up to Earth to rule alone. 1044 00:54:37,147 --> 00:54:38,899 No! No, you can't do that! 1045 00:54:39,149 --> 00:54:41,276 I'm sorry, but I have to be strong. 1046 00:54:41,485 --> 00:54:44,112 Give me another chance! I have to go to Earth! 1047 00:54:44,362 --> 00:54:45,697 You don't have respect for me! 1048 00:54:45,905 --> 00:54:48,366 Sure I do, guy. Please just hear me out. 1049 00:54:52,453 --> 00:54:55,706 SINGING: Some people say that I'm a bad guy 1050 00:54:55,998 --> 00:54:58,584 They may be right They may be right 1051 00:54:59,543 --> 00:55:02,921 But it's not as if I don 't try 1052 00:55:03,130 --> 00:55:05,632 I just fuck up, try as I might 1053 00:55:06,216 --> 00:55:08,343 But I can change, I can change 1054 00:55:08,593 --> 00:55:11,721 I can learn to keep my promises I swear it 1055 00:55:11,929 --> 00:55:13,681 I'll open up my heart And I will share it 1056 00:55:13,889 --> 00:55:15,975 Any minute now, I will be born again 1057 00:55:17,518 --> 00:55:19,478 Yes I can change, I can change 1058 00:55:19,686 --> 00:55:22,189 I know I've been A dirty little bastard 1059 00:55:22,773 --> 00:55:24,941 I like to kill, I like to maim I'm insane, but it's okay 1060 00:55:25,150 --> 00:55:26,443 'Cause I can change 1061 00:55:27,944 --> 00:55:30,238 It's not my fault that I'm so evil 1062 00:55:30,446 --> 00:55:32,949 It's society, society 1063 00:55:33,991 --> 00:55:36,202 You see my parents Were sometimes abusive 1064 00:55:36,493 --> 00:55:38,662 And it made a prick of me 1065 00:55:39,163 --> 00:55:40,998 But I can change, I can change 1066 00:55:41,290 --> 00:55:43,500 What if you remain A sandy little butthole 1067 00:55:43,708 --> 00:55:47,337 Don 't be such a twit Mother Teresa won 't have shit on me 1068 00:55:47,670 --> 00:55:50,089 Just watch me change Here I go, I'm changing! 1069 00:56:14,195 --> 00:56:15,905 You see, I've really matured. 1070 00:56:16,113 --> 00:56:17,448 All right. 1071 00:56:18,615 --> 00:56:20,117 Come on, we have to hurry. 1072 00:56:20,534 --> 00:56:21,493 SADDAM: I love you. 1073 00:56:25,455 --> 00:56:27,790 ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen of the American Army... 1074 00:56:28,041 --> 00:56:30,668 ...welcome to the USO show. 1075 00:56:31,544 --> 00:56:34,255 Get ready for loads of entertainment and fabulous celebrities... 1076 00:56:34,505 --> 00:56:38,425 ...followed immediately by the execution of Terrance and Phillip. 1077 00:56:43,430 --> 00:56:47,100 This is where those military bitches intend to kill Terrance and Phillip. 1078 00:56:47,308 --> 00:56:48,142 Oh, my God! 1079 00:56:48,351 --> 00:56:50,478 God? He is the biggest bitch of them all. 1080 00:56:50,728 --> 00:56:53,439 Hurry. We rendezvous with the other kids at 10. 1081 00:56:54,982 --> 00:56:58,235 You realize we could be grounded for two, even three weeks. 1082 00:56:58,444 --> 00:57:00,696 - We're willing to take that risk. - Let's go. 1083 00:57:00,946 --> 00:57:03,657 ANNOUNCER: And now, here are your hosts for the evening... 1084 00:57:03,740 --> 00:57:07,035 ...Sheila Broflovski and Big Gay Al. 1085 00:57:07,452 --> 00:57:08,953 [ CHEERING ] 1086 00:57:09,329 --> 00:57:12,081 Al, tonight is a very special night. Do you know why? 1087 00:57:12,373 --> 00:57:14,041 They're having a sale at Merv's? 1088 00:57:15,417 --> 00:57:18,253 No. Because we're going to abolish Canadian smut. 1089 00:57:18,879 --> 00:57:21,840 That's right, Sheila. Bring out the condemned. 1090 00:57:26,302 --> 00:57:29,347 SHEILA: Today is a great day for democracy! 1091 00:57:31,307 --> 00:57:35,561 This is worse than when you put your dick in my mouth and took a picture. 1092 00:57:35,769 --> 00:57:37,187 I know, Terrance. I know. 1093 00:57:37,438 --> 00:57:41,608 While you're getting set up over there, let's bring out our first act: 1094 00:57:41,858 --> 00:57:44,319 Yippie, the back-flipping dog! 1095 00:57:56,830 --> 00:57:58,373 Be careful not to touch this wire. 1096 00:57:59,708 --> 00:58:01,626 Motherfuck... 1097 00:58:01,877 --> 00:58:03,378 Fuck. 1098 00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:11,427 The show has started. We're running out of time. 1099 00:58:12,303 --> 00:58:13,429 Do you see Terrance and Phillip? 1100 00:58:13,637 --> 00:58:15,598 Yes, but they are heavily guarded. 1101 00:58:16,265 --> 00:58:17,808 Dig from here, so as not to be seen. 1102 00:58:18,016 --> 00:58:19,518 Come on, bitches. 1103 00:58:21,144 --> 00:58:22,896 Mole, do you know where the clitoris is? 1104 00:58:23,146 --> 00:58:24,272 - The what? - The clitoris. 1105 00:58:24,481 --> 00:58:26,858 I have to find it, so I can get Wendy to like me. 1106 00:58:27,108 --> 00:58:28,776 Stop thinking with your dick! 1107 00:58:28,985 --> 00:58:31,362 Be on your toes, because I won't be grounded again! 1108 00:58:31,571 --> 00:58:32,822 Not for you! Not for anybody! 1109 00:58:33,656 --> 00:58:36,533 Men, when you're out there in the battlefield... 1110 00:58:36,742 --> 00:58:38,952 ...and you're looking into the beady eyes of a Canadian... 1111 00:58:39,244 --> 00:58:41,997 ...as he charges you with his hockey stick or whatever he has... 1112 00:58:42,205 --> 00:58:46,876 ...and people are dying all around you, just remember what the MPAA says: 1113 00:58:47,085 --> 00:58:52,215 "Deplorable violence is okay as long as people don't say any naughty words." 1114 00:58:52,548 --> 00:58:55,467 That is what this war is all about. 1115 00:58:55,676 --> 00:58:56,677 [ CHEERING ] 1116 00:58:56,927 --> 00:58:58,137 What? 1117 00:59:00,389 --> 00:59:01,473 Shit! 1118 00:59:03,475 --> 00:59:04,559 Move, move. 1119 00:59:06,978 --> 00:59:09,188 We will split up here. Let's synchronize watches. 1120 00:59:10,148 --> 00:59:12,066 - We don't have watches. - You don't? 1121 00:59:12,316 --> 00:59:14,318 - You didn't say anything about watches. - What do you think this is? 1122 00:59:14,527 --> 00:59:17,905 TV kiddie hour where we sit around and lick Barney the Dinosaur's pussy? 1123 00:59:18,113 --> 00:59:19,990 This is real life, with consequences you take to the grave. 1124 00:59:20,198 --> 00:59:21,783 - We don't have watches. - Shit! 1125 00:59:21,992 --> 00:59:23,160 - Did you bring the mirror? - Got it. 1126 00:59:23,410 --> 00:59:24,619 - And the rope? - Check. 1127 00:59:24,828 --> 00:59:26,621 - And the buttfor? - What's a "buttfor"? 1128 00:59:26,830 --> 00:59:28,831 For pooping, silly. 1129 00:59:30,500 --> 00:59:34,253 I'll dig under the stage, and with that bedrock, I'll need more time. 1130 00:59:34,462 --> 00:59:37,047 Stan and Kyle, stall the show anyway you can. 1131 00:59:37,256 --> 00:59:39,591 Keep that show going until I get the prisoners. 1132 00:59:40,384 --> 00:59:42,219 MOLE: Cartman, over there is the electrical box. 1133 00:59:42,427 --> 00:59:45,055 Shut it off before I return with Terrance and Phillip... 1134 00:59:45,263 --> 00:59:47,807 ...or the alarm will sound and I'll be attacked by dogs. 1135 00:59:48,057 --> 00:59:48,933 - Got it? - Okay. 1136 00:59:49,142 --> 00:59:51,686 You must shut off the alarms. I fucking hate guard dogs! 1137 00:59:51,936 --> 00:59:54,146 I heard you, you British piece of shit. 1138 00:59:54,355 --> 00:59:56,899 If anything goes wrong, make a sound like a dying giraffe. 1139 00:59:57,149 --> 00:59:58,567 What's a dying giraffe sound like? 1140 00:59:59,026 --> 01:00:01,111 [ MAKES ANIMAL NOISES ] 1141 01:00:01,987 --> 01:00:02,821 Okay. 1142 01:00:03,071 --> 01:00:04,698 - Let's go. - Be careful, dude. 1143 01:00:04,906 --> 01:00:07,575 Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart... 1144 01:00:07,784 --> 01:00:10,661 ...with a clothes hanger, while I was still in the womb? 1145 01:00:14,832 --> 01:00:16,667 Damn, that kid is fucked up. 1146 01:00:16,917 --> 01:00:18,377 AL: How are those chairs coming? 1147 01:00:18,836 --> 01:00:20,921 Al, we're minutes away. 1148 01:00:21,129 --> 01:00:26,051 Super. Here is pint-sized pixie and darling of the indie movie scene... 1149 01:00:26,384 --> 01:00:28,553 ...Winona Ryder! 1150 01:00:28,761 --> 01:00:30,263 Hi, guys. 1151 01:00:30,847 --> 01:00:32,556 I'm super-psyched to be here today. 1152 01:00:32,807 --> 01:00:36,310 What you're doing for our country is so cool. 1153 01:00:36,518 --> 01:00:39,897 I mean war, man. Wow, war. 1154 01:00:40,105 --> 01:00:42,357 You know? Wow. 1155 01:00:42,566 --> 01:00:47,403 Okay, and now for your enjoyment, here's my famous Ping-Pong ball trick. 1156 01:00:55,911 --> 01:00:56,787 Oh, my! 1157 01:00:57,579 --> 01:00:59,331 "Shut off the power, Cartman. 1158 01:00:59,540 --> 01:01:01,583 This is very important, Cartman." 1159 01:01:01,833 --> 01:01:04,628 SOLDIER: Did you hear what Winona Ryder's doing? 1160 01:01:09,007 --> 01:01:13,678 There. I didn't miss one. That's my Ping-Pong ball trick! 1161 01:01:17,306 --> 01:01:19,516 That's all the acts we have for tonight... 1162 01:01:19,725 --> 01:01:22,352 ...so let's just get on with the execution! 1163 01:01:23,436 --> 01:01:25,689 - No, we have to stall him. - More! More! 1164 01:01:25,897 --> 01:01:27,440 Yeah! More! 1165 01:01:27,649 --> 01:01:30,485 You big sillies. You want to see more of me? 1166 01:01:30,693 --> 01:01:33,154 Yeah! Big Gay Al! Big Gay Al! 1167 01:01:35,030 --> 01:01:38,325 Well, I do have a little song I wrote about the war. 1168 01:01:38,617 --> 01:01:40,035 But we haven't rehearsed. 1169 01:01:40,244 --> 01:01:41,745 Sing it! 1170 01:01:42,412 --> 01:01:43,413 I can't. 1171 01:01:43,622 --> 01:01:45,040 KYLE: Sing the fucking song! 1172 01:01:45,332 --> 01:01:47,959 All right. If you insist, I'll sing my song. 1173 01:01:48,251 --> 01:01:50,628 I believe it goes a little bit like this. 1174 01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:54,840 SINGING: Bombs are flying 1175 01:01:55,132 --> 01:01:56,842 People are dying 1176 01:01:57,134 --> 01:02:00,095 Children are crying Politicians are lying too 1177 01:02:01,263 --> 01:02:03,348 Cancer is killing 1178 01:02:03,723 --> 01:02:05,266 Texaco 's spilling 1179 01:02:06,351 --> 01:02:08,895 The whole world's gone to hell But how are you? 1180 01:02:10,188 --> 01:02:12,898 I'm super Thanks for asking 1181 01:02:13,190 --> 01:02:14,817 I couldn 't be better 1182 01:02:15,025 --> 01:02:16,318 I must say 1183 01:02:16,527 --> 01:02:17,778 I'm feeling super 1184 01:02:17,986 --> 01:02:19,863 No, nothing bugs me 1185 01:02:20,072 --> 01:02:21,448 Everything is super when you're... 1186 01:02:21,656 --> 01:02:24,075 Don 't you think I look cute In this hat 1187 01:02:26,202 --> 01:02:28,997 I'm so sorry Mr. Cripple 1188 01:02:29,205 --> 01:02:31,958 But I just can 't feel too bad For you right now 1189 01:02:32,166 --> 01:02:35,169 Because I'm feeling So insanely super 1190 01:02:35,377 --> 01:02:38,630 That even the fact that you can 't walk Can 't bring me down 1191 01:02:38,839 --> 01:02:41,717 He's super Thanks for asking 1192 01:02:41,925 --> 01:02:44,719 All things considered He couldn 't be better he must say 1193 01:02:45,011 --> 01:02:46,179 I'm super 1194 01:02:46,387 --> 01:02:47,639 No, nothing bugs me 1195 01:02:48,765 --> 01:02:51,684 Don 't you think I look cute in this hat 1196 01:02:51,934 --> 01:02:54,603 These pants This matching tie I got at Merv's 1197 01:02:55,062 --> 01:02:57,272 CHORUS: In the barracks And the trenches as well 1198 01:02:57,564 --> 01:03:01,109 - Stick 'em up! - Big Gay Al says you have to tell 1199 01:03:01,401 --> 01:03:03,778 Yes, he's super And he's proud to be gay 1200 01:03:04,571 --> 01:03:08,366 Everything is super When you're gay 1201 01:03:12,286 --> 01:03:13,287 When you're gay 1202 01:03:15,623 --> 01:03:17,041 Again! Again! 1203 01:03:25,799 --> 01:03:26,966 Who's there? 1204 01:03:27,175 --> 01:03:28,009 [ KENNY MUMBLES ] 1205 01:03:28,218 --> 01:03:29,552 Son of a gun! Heck! 1206 01:03:31,012 --> 01:03:32,430 They're coming? 1207 01:03:33,306 --> 01:03:35,391 But our moms won't listen to us. 1208 01:03:41,229 --> 01:03:45,066 AL: Okay, everybody, just want to thank our wonderful sponsors... 1209 01:03:46,776 --> 01:03:47,861 He's almost got them. 1210 01:03:48,069 --> 01:03:50,571 We're here to rescue you. Follow me through the tunnel. 1211 01:03:51,072 --> 01:03:53,574 You guys! Seriously. I saw Kenny again. 1212 01:03:53,824 --> 01:03:55,701 Did you shut the alarm off? 1213 01:03:57,119 --> 01:03:58,662 - Cartman? - Whoops. 1214 01:03:58,871 --> 01:04:00,247 Oh, shit! 1215 01:04:00,497 --> 01:04:01,415 [ MAKING ANIMAL NOISES ] 1216 01:04:01,623 --> 01:04:04,251 Hear that? Sounds like a dying giraffe. 1217 01:04:05,669 --> 01:04:06,461 Shit! 1218 01:04:06,669 --> 01:04:08,504 - A spy! - Get him! 1219 01:04:09,672 --> 01:04:11,382 Shit! Shit! 1220 01:04:12,466 --> 01:04:13,509 Oh, no! 1221 01:04:14,969 --> 01:04:16,178 Come on, Mole! 1222 01:04:16,679 --> 01:04:19,431 MOLE: Shit! Shit! Fucking guard dogs! Shit! 1223 01:04:20,140 --> 01:04:21,558 The alarms went off. 1224 01:04:21,808 --> 01:04:23,185 That was my bad. Sorry. 1225 01:04:23,894 --> 01:04:25,937 Hold me. It's so very cold. 1226 01:04:26,187 --> 01:04:27,981 There is no hope. Get out. 1227 01:04:28,231 --> 01:04:30,233 - We can't leave without you. - It's okay. 1228 01:04:30,483 --> 01:04:32,735 No, we can't. We don't know where we are! 1229 01:04:32,985 --> 01:04:35,029 Where's your God when you need him? 1230 01:04:35,237 --> 01:04:38,365 Where is your beautiful, merciful faggot now? 1231 01:04:38,574 --> 01:04:39,575 Here I come, God. 1232 01:04:39,783 --> 01:04:41,535 Here I come, you fucking rat. 1233 01:04:41,743 --> 01:04:44,162 SINGING: Now the light she fades 1234 01:04:44,537 --> 01:04:47,582 And darkness settles in 1235 01:04:47,832 --> 01:04:49,500 But I will find strength 1236 01:04:49,751 --> 01:04:52,336 - No, Mole, hang on. - I will find pride within 1237 01:04:52,587 --> 01:04:55,214 - We'll get you home. - Because although I die 1238 01:04:55,464 --> 01:04:58,133 - I can't face my mother. - Our freedom will be won 1239 01:04:58,383 --> 01:04:59,384 Not alone. 1240 01:04:59,593 --> 01:05:01,887 Though I die 1241 01:05:02,137 --> 01:05:04,931 La Résistance lives... 1242 01:05:05,515 --> 01:05:06,641 ...on 1243 01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:19,528 Shit! 1244 01:05:19,778 --> 01:05:24,074 AL: Okay, here it is. The moment we've all been awaiting: The execution! 1245 01:05:28,953 --> 01:05:30,997 The day is ours! 1246 01:05:32,290 --> 01:05:34,750 We have to tell them about Saddam Hussein and Satan. 1247 01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:38,670 - No. My mom can't see me here. - You have to stand up to your mother. 1248 01:05:38,962 --> 01:05:41,965 Gentlemen, do you have any last words? 1249 01:05:42,174 --> 01:05:45,635 Last words? How's aboot, "Get me the fuck out of this chair!" 1250 01:05:45,885 --> 01:05:46,845 How's that? 1251 01:05:47,095 --> 01:05:50,014 All right, anonymous, ready the switch. 1252 01:05:51,265 --> 01:05:52,308 STAN: Wait! 1253 01:05:52,516 --> 01:05:53,601 - Stanley! - Eric! 1254 01:05:53,851 --> 01:05:54,727 Kyle! 1255 01:05:56,061 --> 01:05:57,479 Go on, dude, tell her. 1256 01:05:57,813 --> 01:06:00,357 - I can't. - You can't kill Terrance and Phillip. 1257 01:06:00,607 --> 01:06:03,860 If they die, Satan and Saddam Hussein will take over the world. 1258 01:06:05,362 --> 01:06:07,155 [ LAUGHING ] 1259 01:06:08,781 --> 01:06:10,783 Throw the switch, Mr. Garrison. 1260 01:06:11,033 --> 01:06:13,452 I'm supposed to be anonymous. 1261 01:06:15,079 --> 01:06:16,622 Goodbye, bastards! 1262 01:06:16,872 --> 01:06:17,956 No! 1263 01:06:25,463 --> 01:06:28,633 The Canadians are attacking! Run for your lives! 1264 01:06:29,175 --> 01:06:30,676 We have to shut off the power! 1265 01:06:32,094 --> 01:06:33,346 Fuck! 1266 01:06:35,097 --> 01:06:36,849 Some little fat kid saved us! 1267 01:06:43,396 --> 01:06:46,566 Wait! We have to get you to the rendezvous point. 1268 01:06:50,111 --> 01:06:51,737 Ned, behind you! 1269 01:07:10,213 --> 01:07:12,590 CLITORIS: Be not afraid. 1270 01:07:12,798 --> 01:07:13,758 Oh, my God! 1271 01:07:13,966 --> 01:07:15,968 Behold my glory. 1272 01:07:16,176 --> 01:07:17,344 What are you? 1273 01:07:17,553 --> 01:07:19,596 I am the clitoris. 1274 01:07:19,805 --> 01:07:22,099 The clitoris? I found the clitoris! 1275 01:07:22,307 --> 01:07:26,561 Stan, you must not let Terrance and Phillip's blood spill on the ground. 1276 01:07:26,853 --> 01:07:28,688 Tell me how to get Wendy to like me. 1277 01:07:28,896 --> 01:07:30,940 There are more important matters right now. 1278 01:07:31,190 --> 01:07:34,693 I looked all over for you. Tell me how to get Wendy to like me. 1279 01:07:34,902 --> 01:07:37,529 Dude, just have confidence in yourself. 1280 01:07:37,738 --> 01:07:39,781 Believe in yourself and others will believe in you. 1281 01:07:40,365 --> 01:07:43,160 Chicks love confidence. Now go. Hurry! 1282 01:07:43,368 --> 01:07:45,954 The clitoris has spoken. 1283 01:07:46,162 --> 01:07:47,497 WEND Y: Stan, are you okay? 1284 01:07:47,705 --> 01:07:51,542 I see you failed. I should not have sent a boy to do a man's job. 1285 01:07:52,710 --> 01:07:55,421 Come on! We've got precious little time! 1286 01:07:58,799 --> 01:08:00,884 Die, Canadian, m'kay? 1287 01:08:04,346 --> 01:08:05,847 Did you hear that? I farted. 1288 01:08:06,097 --> 01:08:07,974 You did? Just now? 1289 01:08:09,267 --> 01:08:12,103 KYLE: Terrance and Phillip! CARTMAN: Get to the rendezvous point! 1290 01:08:12,311 --> 01:08:13,646 CARTMAN: It's Mr. Garrison. 1291 01:08:14,105 --> 01:08:19,193 Children, take Mr. Hat. Please get him out of here. 1292 01:08:19,610 --> 01:08:23,238 Holy shit! This V-chip is getting all screwy. 1293 01:08:23,446 --> 01:08:25,115 Take cover in the trench! 1294 01:08:25,365 --> 01:08:29,160 Human Shield up front, then Operation Get-Behind-the-Darkies. 1295 01:08:29,827 --> 01:08:33,289 Remember, Human Shield, protect our tanks and planes too. 1296 01:08:37,751 --> 01:08:39,294 Holy mother of Jehoshaphat! 1297 01:08:39,503 --> 01:08:40,379 Fire on my command. 1298 01:08:40,587 --> 01:08:42,881 All right, squad, just like I told you. 1299 01:08:44,090 --> 01:08:46,509 One... two... 1300 01:08:46,759 --> 01:08:48,386 Do some people gonna die? 1301 01:08:48,636 --> 01:08:49,721 - Fire! ...three! 1302 01:08:51,055 --> 01:08:52,265 What in the... 1303 01:08:52,974 --> 01:08:54,058 Great plan, Chef. 1304 01:08:54,308 --> 01:08:56,101 Operation Human Shield, my ass! 1305 01:08:59,146 --> 01:09:01,231 My God, this is terrible. 1306 01:09:01,481 --> 01:09:03,150 This is what we wanted! 1307 01:09:03,400 --> 01:09:07,403 We wanted our children to be brought up in a smut-free environment! 1308 01:09:07,654 --> 01:09:09,447 STAN'S MOM: But we didn't want this. 1309 01:09:10,031 --> 01:09:11,407 Where are you going? 1310 01:09:11,782 --> 01:09:13,576 We're going to find our boys. 1311 01:09:13,784 --> 01:09:17,329 For God's sake, Sheila, we're going to get them killed! 1312 01:09:23,043 --> 01:09:25,545 All those times I said you were a big dumb Jew? 1313 01:09:25,754 --> 01:09:28,256 I didn't mean it. You're not a Jew. 1314 01:09:28,673 --> 01:09:30,883 Yes, I am! I am a Jew, Cartman! 1315 01:09:31,092 --> 01:09:32,927 Don't be so hard on yourself. 1316 01:09:33,928 --> 01:09:35,930 Why am I still holding this? 1317 01:09:36,430 --> 01:09:38,057 MR. GARRISON: Mr. Hat! No! 1318 01:09:38,307 --> 01:09:41,143 KYLE: Fuck this. I'm getting out before I get in trouble. 1319 01:09:41,393 --> 01:09:42,686 I heard that. 1320 01:09:43,520 --> 01:09:46,481 I found the clitoris. Now I can get Wendy to like me again. 1321 01:09:46,731 --> 01:09:47,649 Swell, Stan. 1322 01:09:47,857 --> 01:09:51,569 I guess all's well that ends well. We can go home now. Dipshit. 1323 01:09:52,278 --> 01:09:53,237 What's wrong? 1324 01:09:53,487 --> 01:09:57,491 We can't let Terrance and Phillip die, or the whole world will end. 1325 01:09:58,784 --> 01:09:59,826 Terrance, look! 1326 01:10:00,035 --> 01:10:00,911 There they are! 1327 01:10:01,119 --> 01:10:02,662 Phillip, we're done for! 1328 01:10:02,913 --> 01:10:04,914 All right, men! Fire! 1329 01:10:05,165 --> 01:10:06,666 Goodbye, Terrance. 1330 01:10:11,546 --> 01:10:12,505 What is this? 1331 01:10:12,713 --> 01:10:13,672 Don't shoot! 1332 01:10:13,881 --> 01:10:18,010 I'll take care of this. Kids, get out of the way now! 1333 01:10:22,848 --> 01:10:23,682 Kyle! 1334 01:10:23,932 --> 01:10:26,184 I'm not going to let you kill them, Mom! 1335 01:10:26,392 --> 01:10:27,393 What, what, what? 1336 01:10:27,602 --> 01:10:29,604 I'm not moving! 1337 01:10:31,522 --> 01:10:34,859 Stand down. You can still see fart jokes on Nickelodeon. 1338 01:10:35,067 --> 01:10:37,277 No! This is about more than fart jokes! 1339 01:10:37,528 --> 01:10:39,988 This is about freedom of speech, about censorship... 1340 01:10:40,405 --> 01:10:42,324 ...and stuff. 1341 01:10:42,532 --> 01:10:45,910 What about Ike? Did you forget your adopted son is Canadian? 1342 01:10:48,538 --> 01:10:51,207 I'm doing very important things. 1343 01:10:51,415 --> 01:10:53,709 But you never took the time to talk to me. 1344 01:10:53,959 --> 01:10:57,046 Whenever I get in trouble, you blame everybody else. 1345 01:10:57,296 --> 01:10:59,715 But I'm the one to blame. Deal with me. 1346 01:10:59,923 --> 01:11:02,050 You keep fighting all these causes. 1347 01:11:02,300 --> 01:11:03,843 But I don't want a fighter. 1348 01:11:04,052 --> 01:11:05,637 I want my mom. 1349 01:11:09,599 --> 01:11:11,017 Poor little fella! 1350 01:11:11,601 --> 01:11:12,727 No! 1351 01:11:16,814 --> 01:11:17,898 Holy shit, dude! 1352 01:11:18,148 --> 01:11:19,650 Young man, you watch your mouth! 1353 01:11:28,324 --> 01:11:30,159 My time has come! 1354 01:11:30,410 --> 01:11:32,620 You are really fucked now! 1355 01:11:32,828 --> 01:11:35,080 It's Saddam Hussein! Shoot him! 1356 01:11:36,707 --> 01:11:37,583 What a dumb ass! 1357 01:11:41,670 --> 01:11:43,964 You have spilled the blood of the innocent. 1358 01:11:44,214 --> 01:11:47,091 Now begins two million years of darkness. 1359 01:11:47,300 --> 01:11:49,635 Good job, Ms. Broflovski. Thanks a lot. 1360 01:11:49,844 --> 01:11:53,139 I was trying to make the world a better place for children. 1361 01:11:53,347 --> 01:11:56,725 And you brought enough intolerance to allow my coming. 1362 01:11:56,934 --> 01:11:59,770 Now, everyone bow down to me! 1363 01:12:02,856 --> 01:12:03,982 SADDAM: Bend over! 1364 01:12:04,190 --> 01:12:05,817 What have we done? 1365 01:12:06,276 --> 01:12:09,028 Saddam, I'm the dark ruler, not you. 1366 01:12:09,237 --> 01:12:10,822 Relax. Better seen, not heard. 1367 01:12:11,030 --> 01:12:12,281 [ KENNY MUMBLES ] 1368 01:12:12,490 --> 01:12:13,574 I can't. 1369 01:12:13,824 --> 01:12:16,118 Let's start by building a big statue of me! 1370 01:12:16,368 --> 01:12:18,412 There, where that fat kid is standing. 1371 01:12:18,662 --> 01:12:20,956 Don't call me fat, buttfucker! 1372 01:12:27,045 --> 01:12:28,671 Yeah, Cartman, do it. 1373 01:12:28,921 --> 01:12:31,716 Damn! Shit! Respect my fucking authority! 1374 01:12:34,635 --> 01:12:36,887 You need to watch your mouth, brat! 1375 01:12:37,554 --> 01:12:39,598 Dogshit taco! 1376 01:12:43,977 --> 01:12:45,395 Quick, do something. 1377 01:12:45,645 --> 01:12:46,813 Try this on for size. 1378 01:12:48,147 --> 01:12:51,150 Blood-drenched, frozen tampon popsicle! 1379 01:12:53,444 --> 01:12:58,073 Buddy, I know I was mean before. But don't worry, I can change. 1380 01:12:59,366 --> 01:13:00,242 Okay. 1381 01:13:02,244 --> 01:13:03,286 Not! 1382 01:13:04,496 --> 01:13:06,623 Fuck, shit, cock, ass, titties, boner... 1383 01:13:06,873 --> 01:13:10,960 ...bitch, muff, pussy, cunt, butthole, Barbra Streisand! 1384 01:13:16,507 --> 01:13:19,051 What are you waiting for, bitch? Destroy him! 1385 01:13:19,885 --> 01:13:21,970 You weak, stupid cum bucket. Save me! 1386 01:13:22,220 --> 01:13:23,263 That's it! 1387 01:13:24,180 --> 01:13:27,142 I have had enough of you! 1388 01:13:40,737 --> 01:13:45,158 He spent so much time convincing me I was weak and stupid... 1389 01:13:45,367 --> 01:13:46,951 ...that I believed it myself. 1390 01:13:47,368 --> 01:13:49,078 I have you to thank, little one. 1391 01:13:49,620 --> 01:13:52,123 You showed me that I had to get away from him. 1392 01:13:52,373 --> 01:13:55,376 Just make any wish you want and I shall grant it. 1393 01:13:55,751 --> 01:13:57,628 [ KENNY MUMBLES ] 1394 01:13:58,545 --> 01:14:00,464 - Are you sure? - What did he say? 1395 01:14:00,714 --> 01:14:04,884 His wish is for everything to go back to the way it was before this war. 1396 01:14:05,260 --> 01:14:08,471 Kenny, you realize that means you'd go back too. 1397 01:14:08,721 --> 01:14:09,806 KENNY: I know. 1398 01:14:10,890 --> 01:14:13,601 [ KENNY MUMBLES ] 1399 01:14:18,272 --> 01:14:19,356 Very well, then. 1400 01:14:19,606 --> 01:14:21,358 I will pull my minions back. 1401 01:14:21,608 --> 01:14:25,445 I guess I'm destined to live in hell alone. 1402 01:14:26,571 --> 01:14:27,405 Hello. 1403 01:14:27,614 --> 01:14:28,906 What's this? 1404 01:14:29,115 --> 01:14:30,575 Hi, there, little guy. 1405 01:14:31,534 --> 01:14:33,703 Would you like to go to hell with me? 1406 01:14:33,953 --> 01:14:37,706 Sure. I bet we can be best friends, Mr. Satan. 1407 01:14:37,956 --> 01:14:40,459 Feel free to come back and visit anytime. 1408 01:14:40,709 --> 01:14:42,669 I just might do that. 1409 01:14:42,919 --> 01:14:43,628 Thanks, Kenny. 1410 01:14:43,837 --> 01:14:46,798 Thanks for going back to hell for us. You're a pal. 1411 01:14:51,344 --> 01:14:52,928 Goodbye, you guys. 1412 01:15:05,607 --> 01:15:07,358 I'm alive. Where's Mr. Hat? 1413 01:15:07,609 --> 01:15:11,737 Wow. We were all dying and now we're fine. That's super! 1414 01:15:11,988 --> 01:15:13,531 What the fuck's going on? 1415 01:15:17,910 --> 01:15:21,955 See, Mom? It was Cartman's filthy fucking mouth that saved us all. 1416 01:15:22,205 --> 01:15:25,250 I'm sorry I didn't pay attention to you, Kyle. 1417 01:15:27,710 --> 01:15:29,087 But what about Gregory? 1418 01:15:29,337 --> 01:15:31,589 - I never cared for Gregory. - You didn't? 1419 01:15:31,839 --> 01:15:34,425 No, dude. Fuck Gregory! Fuck him right in the ear! 1420 01:15:35,217 --> 01:15:36,302 Thank you, clitoris. 1421 01:15:36,552 --> 01:15:39,763 SINGING: Everything worked out What a happy end 1422 01:15:40,222 --> 01:15:43,934 Americans and Canadians Are friends again 1423 01:15:44,392 --> 01:15:48,187 So let's all join hands And knock oppression down 1424 01:15:48,605 --> 01:15:51,149 Don 't you know our little lives Are now complete? 1425 01:15:51,524 --> 01:15:53,734 'Cause Terrance and Phillip Are sweet 1426 01:15:53,984 --> 01:15:54,777 Super sweet 1427 01:15:55,027 --> 01:15:59,364 Thank God we live in this Quiet little pissant 1428 01:15:59,573 --> 01:16:01,241 Redneck Podunk jerkwater 1429 01:16:01,491 --> 01:16:04,995 Greenhorn one-horse mudhole Peckerwood right-wing whistle-stop 1430 01:16:05,203 --> 01:16:07,997 Hobnail truck-driving Old-fashioned hayseed inbred 1431 01:16:08,206 --> 01:16:10,208 Unkempt out-of-date White trash 1432 01:16:10,416 --> 01:16:14,170 Kick-ass! Mountain... 1433 01:16:15,713 --> 01:16:18,715 ...town! 1434 01:16:21,093 --> 01:16:22,177 Look! 1435 01:21:07,906 --> 01:21:10,475 Guys out there is hurted. 1436 01:21:11,076 --> 01:21:13,476 Subtitles by ARAVIND B [by_agentsmith@yahoo.com]