Okay, this has been really fun, guys, but Phoebe
actually brought us here tonight to say something, didn't you, Pheebs?
No, no, I... I just think that we don't get to see enough of each other, that's all.
Might be a little longer, too, seeing as we're off to Paris in the morning.
Yeah, about that French merger?
Hong Kong, Rome, gay Paris. It's enough to send
-a girl's head spinning, know? -But wasn't there something you really
wanted to say about...?
You must have great business karma.
Oh, karma? I don't believe in that stuff.
-No, not at all? -Well, I mean, you know,
if somebody cuts me off on the road,
I'd like to think that they're gonna get what's coming to them.
That's karma, the great cosmic justice system. You reap what you sow.
Great, fabulous. Anyway, Phoebe.
Okay. All right.
Jason, there is something that I want to share
with you right now.
And that...
...would be...
...a toast.
A toast to your new merger.
Pheebs, could you help me? With the cobbler?
Am I missing something?
Okay, that was a three-course meal,
not including the fruit and cheese plate. I gave you a million openings.
What do you want, a drumroll?
Actually, that's not a bad idea.
You are going with him to France tomorrow.
You've put this off for too long. You have to tell him you're a witch.
I just think maybe we should wait until
we get there to tell him, you know?
Then if there's an emergency, you can orb us back, okay?
You've probably been caught almost like a million times.
You can't keep taking that risk.
I know.
Maybe I should wait till tomorrow,
until after the big banquet so I don't upset his big day.
I think that you have a big problem with avoiding conflict,
and one day, missy, it is gonna come back and bite you in the ass.
Hey, he's getting a little antsy in there.
And you, what is it with this whole karma thing?
You're supposed to be making it easier for her.
Piper needs your help fast.
Saved by the orb, great. Keep Jason occupied.
Leo?
What are you doing here?
Just bringing dessert, you want some?
The girls are just tidying up.
Crap.
-Piper. -About time.
It wasn't easy to find you in these catacombs.
You were supposed to wait so I could help.
Well, I thought I could handle it.
Except I must have missed something in the Book.
-I guess so. -Look, every time I hit one,
two more show up.
Okay, back up.
Hey, boys.
Okay, new plan. Blast and then bail.
Okay.
Hey, Phoebe, what's taking you so long?
Where...? Where did they go?
Must be an emergency or something.
It's always some emergency or some phone call
or some marathon pee break. What's going on?
I think I'd better go check on Wyatt.
I've never seen him like that. He looked at me
like he had no idea who I was.
He doesn't know you. Not the witch you anyway.
He's just gonna need some time.
Why didn't I just tell him? And no "I told you so's."
We all make little mistakes, honey.
This was a very big mistake.
I can't imagine how he's feeling right now, what he's going through.
The good news is, it's out in the open now
and, you know, you guys have no more secrets.
Food's away, table's cleared. There anything else I can do?
No, thank you.
Hey, I feel awful. Sorry about what happened.
It's not your fault.
Well... Well, actually it is.
Why? Did you shove Jason into the kitchen?
No, but my karma did.
I'm serious. I'm convinced I'm carrying the burden of my family's karma.
I mean, we did so much bad with magic.
Now magic's doing bad to me. And those I care about.
Now, that is completely ridiculous.
The feud has lasted for decades in my family
and so many people were hurt in the crossfire.
I mean, somebody's gotta inherit that bad karma, right?
That's not really how karma works.
You live a double life with your boyfriend,
and you pay the price. If anyone's karma made this happen, it's mine.
That's true. You had the chance to clean this up tonight, and you didn't.
See, there's that "I told you so," huh?
Only to make a point.
No, you're right. I've been avoiding conflict my whole life.
What, and it just happened the night I was here? I mean,
-that's all I'm saying. -You guys,
this mea culpa game is real fun and all, but we're not gonna solve anything.
Those multiplying swarm demons on the other hand?
Right, we riled them up, didn't we?
And if they attack right now, we won't know how to deal with them.
So why don't you two hit the Book and I'll catch up after I check on Wyatt.
Would you guys mind if I sat this one out?
I kind of feel like I need to go see Jason.
-Well, maybe after we've... -No, we can handle it.
All right.
Leo. No, no, no.
What? What, what, what is it?
This, this.
What, my grandmother's quilt?
Her red quilt, the color of anger and violence and all things bad.
-Bad? I used that quilt. -Well, you can have it back.
Wyatt is now using the powder-blue baby blanket.
Did you turn off the serenity Mozart CD?
Look, we need to bathe Wyatt in goodness,
and nurture peace and serenity, happy things.
Piper, don't you think you're overreacting a little bit?
Leo, there is no such thing as overreacting
when it comes to the future of our child.
Okay, but aren't the swarm demons the last on the list of threats?
-Yes, but... -Okay, and when they're gone,
are you gonna stop worrying a little bit?
No, because I sent Chris to suss out if there's any new threats.
Okay, not to press a point, but didn't you just have an epiphany
about not focusing all of your energy on Wyatt?
Yes, well, that was before Chris informed us
that our child was gonna grow up to be the future of all evil.
Besides, it's not all I do. I have the club, I have friends.
Well...
Look, it's just that Wyatt still comes first.
Which is why you are gonna take him up to the elders
so he's safe while we figure out how to deal with the swarm demons.
While you're there, ask them if there's anything
they can do to ensure goodness in Wyatt.
-You know, pull a few strings? -Piper, we don't need strings pulled,
we can protect our son ourselves.
Well, in the future, apparently, we don't.
Okay, so look, there are blue bootees in the bag in case he gets cold.
So don't be afraid to use them, okay?
Don't ask me, she's your mother.
Look, you and I both know, in order to make this work,
-you can't repress yourself. -I'm not. Look, practicing magic.
Yeah, but you don't want me to.
Every relationship is gonna have its challenges, right?
-Look at Phoebe and Jason. -I'm telling you, that was me.
No, that was them not being truthful with each other.
And as long as we are, we're gonna be fine.
"Fine" would be if I could start over with a clean slate.
You just be the wonderful person that you are,
and it's gonna make up for all the bad things that your family ever did.
Not in this lifetime. I want to start over.
It's not possible. If it were, everybody would do it.
Okay, everybody's not a powerful witch.
Look, karma is the DNA of the universe.
It's what balances everything out. You start screwing with that,
you can mess up the entire cosmic order of things.
Maybe you can help me cast a spell.
What part of "no shortcuts" are you not getting?
There's an aura cleanse, a chakra cleanse, but no karma cleanse.
If it were possible to be cleansed, it'd be in there, but there's no spell.
It can't be done.
-Got anything? -Yeah, let's see,
they are distant relatives of Quossis and vampires,
which means they come from a hive.
Did you even read this?
I skimmed it.
So they were drones that we were killing.
Well, no wonder they just kept coming back.
It says we have to kill the king to kill the hive,
which requires the power-of-three spell. I'll call Phoebe.
Hey, just slow down there, okay? Take it easy.
Okay, you orb out and get Phoebe, and I'll start on the potion.
Why don't we just track the leader down? You and I.
That way, Phoebe and Jason can have a little bit of time alone, yeah?
Well, what if the swarm attacks before...? Okay, fine.
We'll locate the ruler first.
Brilliant idea.
Hey, can I orb you anywhere?
No, it's okay. I drove my car here.
Okay. I'll see you soon.
-You stay away. -We need to talk.
No. No. I don't want to talk.
You're... This is your...
This... This is so beyond...
This is so far beyond my reality.
You know, I... I'm just still trying to figure out how
you could... Fifteen months, I didn't know!
I wanted to tell you.
I really did, but I couldn't.
And you know now, so can we talk about this, please?
Okay, fine, let's talk.
All right, what...? What was this, huh? The Godiva girls, was that magic?
-Yeah. -Man, still...
Okay, what about that funny-looking little cousin of yours, cousin Shamus,
what the hell was he? One of the seven dwarves?
No, actually, he was a leprechaun.
Not really my cousin.
Look, Jason, I know how you feel.
How do I feel, Phoebe?
Tell me because... Because I don't know.
But you, you always seem to know.
So tell me, how's it gonna feel when I crash,
because I see one coming.
Is it gonna feel like when you said, "I love you too"?
Because that, that was magic, wasn't it?
But I do love you.
I don't... I don't have time for this.
I didn't want you to find out like this, believe me.
I...
I have to concentrate. I'm speaking in front of 100 shareholders
celebrating the second-biggest French media merger of the decade.
Okay?
So...
...I need to be in focus.
You're the one that wanted to look
for the swarm king in the first place, remember?
Yeah, that's when we thought it was a hive, not so much of a maze.
Oh, no. Is this starting to look familiar?
-Are we...? -Going around in circles?
-Great. -Let's just orb home.
Why are you in such a rush to go home all of a sudden?
It's Richard. Any time he's alone for too long, bad things start to happen.
No!
That only attracts them more, remember?
Should we follow them?
Good idea.
-Now? -Yeah.
"I call to thee, pure witch's fire"
Through vortex flow The heavenly mire
Cleanse brackish karma of debris
"From dark to light, sweep history"
Hello, anybody home?
How many did we get, 15 or 16?
I don't know, I stopped counting at dawn.
I'm gonna go crash.
Actually, I'm gonna go check on Richard, and then I'll go crash.
But wait, we know where the king is now, so we're gonna get Phoebe
so we can go back and get him.
No. I am taking a hot bath and crawling into a nice, warm bed.
You know, living at Richard's mansion has made you soft.
-Oh, shush. -I'm serious. What if this is
the demon that gets to Wyatt?
Well, then it's all the more reason for us to be well-rested, right?
What happened here?
What the heck are you wearing?
Just a little something to help me win my boyfriend back.
-Showing a little skin never hurt. -Oh, well, I'll file that away.
I guess it didn't go so good with Jason last night?
No, unfortunately.
Since when do you speak freedom fry?
I don't know, actually. It's kind of weird, considering I hate the French.
No, you don't. You love everything about France.
I do?
Oh, then maybe I just hate being dumped.
All the more reason to go get him.
Just there's one thing. See, we kind of need the power of three
for a vanquish, you know, to save your nephew's future and all.
Yeah, sorry. I can't.
Please tell me she didn't...
Cast a spell on herself? I think she did.
I can feel their pain.
This is where they fought and died.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but this was your division.
I'm afraid it was.
Remember.
This is going to hurt me much more than it hurts you.
It is time to bring the fight to them!
Let the Charmed Ones feel our pain!
I'm confused. How does cleansing her aura get Jason back?
No, Phoebe didn't cast a spell, Richard did.
Richard wants Jason back?
No,
Richard wants to cleanse his karma...
Oh, my God, that's what he used the Book for.
Damn it, I shouldn't have left him alone.
Wait a second, what does this have to do with Phoebe?
Karma is not something you mess with.
Especially not magically. Whatever Richard did
could have gone wonky and affected her somehow.
I mean, there's all this unfinished karma just floating around out there,
waiting to complete its cycle.
What the hell are you talking about?
I'm talking about Richard screwing with the karmic wheel
and Phoebe getting smacked down by it. She said it herself.
She's been lying to Jason, living a double life.
If that doesn't attract bad karma, I don't know what does.
Someone's unfinished bad karma?
Exactly.
Except whose?
Well, I'd guess a French hooker, by the way she's been acting.
Or worse.
Okay, you go get Phoebe, I'll go get Richard.
But what if he's infected too?
Well, I'll save him and then I'll kill him.
Cast any spells lately?
No.
All right yeah, one. It didn't work, though.
-How do you know? -Because.
All right, I was cleansing my soul...
Yeah, yeah. Skip down to the bottom.
What happened when you set the spell, exactly?
The energy and light came down from the ceiling and it surrounded me...
-And hit Phoebe. -No. I was there alone.
Oh, yeah, you were alone. Then how do you explain my sister
Suddenly walking around like she's in the nudie version of Les Mis?
I don't know. I...
I don't know why it affected her and not me.
Maybe because your family is surrounded by so much bad karma
that there's no room for anybody else's.
What were you thinking?
I was thinking about us.
-Us? -Yeah.
I don't want my past to hurt you.
Richard, I know that you mean well, I really do.
And I get that it must be so hard to not practice magic when you can.
-But you can't... -How can you be with a guy
that's got a problem with the very thing you're all about?
I have an idea.
I have a potion that'll help Phoebe.
-Richard. -What?
-Just stop. -I can't. I did this.
I need to fix it.
No. Hey.
Please.
Just...
...no more magic.
-Hey, bro. -Richard.
Man, how the hell have you been?
Good, good, you know.
Well, you look good and you got your hair cut.
Yeah, for court. I'm doing pro bono now.
A do-gooder. Wow, you.
Yeah, I needed a change in my life.
So Mom's been worried.
No one's heard from you. Staying out of trouble, I hope?
-Yeah. More or less. -So you still seeing Paige?
Absolutely. I can't imagine life without her.
-Sounds serious. -I hope so.
Well, here, man, take a seat.
Actually, I can't. I gotta go.
I've been going through some of the old potion books just for the hell of it,
and I can't find that one Dad used to use to banish spirits.
You know where it is?
I thought we both agreed not to mess with that anymore.
I'm not. Not really. It's hard to explain.
-Do you know where it is? -Richard...
Look, save the speech. Can you help me or not?
-Why? What did you do? -Nothing.
-Are people hurt? Do you need...? -Damn it, Steve!
Can you help me or not?
Please.
What are you doing here?
And what are you wearing?
I'm looking for you.
Look, I don't have time for this. This is crazy.
You have every right to be very upset with me.
I know I've been a very, very bad girl.
Please let me make it up to you.
I don't think so.
-What do you mean, don't think so? -Take it easy.
We'll talk about it later, okay? Now I'm running late.
There's always time for l'amour.
Listen, this is... I...
This merger is very important to me, okay?
I need to keep a clear head, if that's at all possible.
Are you saying you don't want me?
Not right now, okay?
You pig.
You're crazy.
You think you could just walk away from me?
You think I'm crazy? You think this is crazy?
Just wait.
In the climate of this world economy, diversity is essential.
And that is why this merger is essential
if we want to grow as a company.
Combining resources
will allow us to tap into markets that would have otherwise
remained beyond our reach.
And so today we celebrate
a new Franco-American business community,
in which bilateral trade is not only encouraged...
What the hell are you doing?
You turned on me.
You rejected me.
And I'd say that you'd live to regret it, but you won't.
This isn't a game.
Jesus.
Phoebe, you can't do this.
Oh, no? Watch me.
Curses on this merger.
-Stop this. -You let go of me.
Are you trying to ruin me?
That's just the hors d'œuvre.
Wait until you see the entrée. It's to die for.
Leo!
Leo. Leo.
Yeah.
Wh...? Why is Phoebe frozen?
-That's not Phoebe. -What do you mean?
Long story. Let's get out of here.
-What about all this? -Later, later.
Phoebe?
-Sit down and put this on. -I'm not finished with my revenge.
Sit or I will freeze. We need to figure out whose karma you got.
I'll never tell.
Okay, she's French.
Bad karma. Napoleon?
Probably not.
Phoebe's not our only problem.
That entire auditorium saw her use magic.
Well, we fix Phoebe first, and then we take care of the swarm king
and if we're still alive after that, we'll worry about it then.
Maybe you should go check on Wyatt, make sure he's okay.
He's fine.
Okay, I'll go check.
Let's see if I can piece together a spell to de-karma Phoebe.
Okay, what about Marie Antoinette,
Queen Isabella, the she-wolf of France?
Oh, now you insult me. I can't stand France.
Vital clue there?
Okay, let's see. Speaks French,
hates the country,
more than willing to strip in public...
Oh, my God, I saw something in here.
Famous females spies:
Mata Hari.
Wasn't she one of the Bond girls?
No. Look, an exotic stripper in Paris,
Dutch-born, double agent for Germany during World War I,
it says here Mata Hari was convicted by French officials
and executed by a firing squad.
Well, no wonder she hates the French.
Not half as much as I hate you for keeping me here.
I need my freedom. I need my revenge.
What does her karma have to do with Phoebe?
Well, duplicitous, living a double life? Ring any bells?
Enough!
Where are you going?
Hi. Look, it's two against one, and you are not going any...
Why am I always the one getting hit?
Behind you.
Take her!
Am I crazy, or was she trying to save them from us?
I didn't tell you to bring her here. I ordered you to kill them.
The Charmed Ones were all together.
We were lucky to grab one and get away.
Oh, luck had nothing to do with it, I saved your butts back there.
Excuse me.
Are you in charge here?
I am.
Good. Because I'd like to get into bed with you.
Not literally.
Although...
...there may be time for that later.
What I'm saying is,
if you help me, I'll help you.
You think I'm a fool? Save my drones to gain my favor?
I'm not one to fall for tricks.
This isn't a trick. Hands off me.
The witches have double-crossed me.
They want to keep me against my will.
So do I.
Yeah, let me guess.
To lure them here so you can kill all of us?
Yeah, see, you're not the first demon to try that and fail.
They've got good karma.
Centuries of it. It's what protects them.
-Us. -And what is it that you suggest?
Well, I was hoping that you could help me create
some bad karma for them by...
Oh, I don't know, maybe killing an innocent?
Who did you have in mind?
Jason.
-What are you doing here? -Looking for Phoebe. You seen her?
Not since she destroyed my career, no.
Listen, I gotta give a press conference,
try to salvage what's left of my reputation.
Don't go. All right?
-I know how you feel. -Oh, you know how I feel?
Do you know how it feels to have the woman you love lie to you,
to turn your one shining moment into chaos? And to...
...strip in front of a packed auditorium?
No. Look,
it's not her fault. You want to blame somebody, blame me.
-I cast a spell that... -Hold on.
-You too? -Yeah, look.
There's no time to explain, just take this, please.
The moment you see Phoebe, throw this,
she'll be back to normal. I promise.
Wait a second. What is that?
It's a potion.
-Get out of here. -Look, I screwed up big time, all right?
The only way to fix this is to use this on Phoebe.
If you love her...
...you'll do it.
Well, if you would just hold still...
Fine. There, you're done.
We wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for Phoebe
not being able to deal with conflict.
Actually, we wouldn't be in this mess
if your boyfriend could handle his magic.
Ow, you did that on purpose.
Yes, I did.
Maybe we should just focus on how to save Phoebe.
Well, we could storm the hive, but then again,
she'd probably just help them stop us.
That's just Mata Hari coming through,
using whoever she can to exact her revenge.
But against who? The men who put her to death are long gone.
And besides, doesn't her real karma
eventually lead to her own self-destruction anyway?
I think that's why we need to figure out why she's using Phoebe
before it's too late, right?
Which brings us back to Mata Hart's revenge.
Okay, she spent her life pleasing men,
only to be betrayed by them at the end.
-Oh, no. -What?
What if she wants to return the favor?
-Mr. Dean. -Mr. Dean.
Just one quote. One quote, please.
-What happened? -What can you tell us about that?
Listen up. I'll answer at the press conference.
Please do me a and hold your questions until then.
-Hello, Jason. -Phoebe, I've had enough.
-I always get my man. -Wait, hang on a sec...
I swear, this is where we found the king last time.
Well, maybe your orbing was off.
My orbing was not off. It just moved.
Well, we should be hearing the swarm, so why don't we?
Because there's a jillion miles
of this stupid maze. They could be anywhere.
We don't even know if Phoebe is here.
Well, it's our best bet.
I swear, if she is hurt, I am never going to forgive Richard.
I think Jason's the one we need to worry about right now.
Such a sweet man.
And such a horrible way to die.
I almost want to cry.
-Almost. -What are you doing?
Please stop this game.
Life is a game. The last one standing wins.
-And that would be me. -I get it.
You're trying to teach me a lesson.
No lesson.
I just don't like being betrayed.
Well, what about him, won't he betray you?
-Goodbye, mi amor. -Phoebe, please. I'm begging you.
Oh, don't beg.
I stared at my killer right in the eye.
It's a much more dignified way to die.
Richard was right.
-Who? -Enough!
Can we please get on with this?
Ready.
Aim.
No.
Fire!
Oh, thank God, I'm so happy to see you guys.
-You're you. -Yeah.
Okay, reunion later, slay now.
Fire at her!
"Demon swarm that serves as one
Vanquish him from which they come"
Jason.
I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
Me too.
I hate to break this up, I really do, but we gotta go.
How did you get rid of Mata Hart's karma?
-Who? -Don't ask.
Where did you get the potion from?
I got it from Richard. He said it would be the only thing that might save you.
Richard.
-You okay? -Oh, yeah, you know,
considering I'm the mother of the future leader of all evil.
No, you're not.
Okay, maybe he won't be, now that you took care of the last threat on him.
You know as well as I do that was not the last threat. There'll be others.
And you'll take care of them too.
Especially now that we know what can happen.
After all, well aware is half there.
Did Phoebe give you that psychobabble?
I just don't understand how someone so sweet could possibly turn...
...so bad.
I don't believe he will.
Despite what Chris says.
Or, maybe because of it, we won't let it.
You know, Piper, all parents worry about their kids.
It's part of the job description.
We just have to have faith.
Yeah, but Wyatt isn't just any kid.
And we're not just any parents either.
Well, at least we know he'll inherit all of our family's good karma.
And that should help.
I hope it helps Phoebe too.
She still has what happened at Jason's banquet to worry about.
Mr. Dean.
Here you are, sir.
Jason!
Phoebe?
I want to talk to the press. I want to tell them everything.
What are you gonna do? Tell them you're a witch?
That'll make the headlines.
Actually, I didn't think about what I was gonna say to them.
I just know that I can't let you take the fall for this.
I am so sorry.
-About everything. The lies and... -Hey.
Don't.
-Remember, you saved me. -But that was after I tried to kill you.
Well, there was that.
If I could do it all again,
I would tell you the truth.
What are you gonna do, what are you gonna tell me?
And besides, I was...
I was so wrapped up in my career and dragging you around the world,
I never gave you a chance.
So...
...what do we do now?
I don't know.
Maybe we should just...
...both take some time.
They're waiting for me.
I wish you'd let me talk to them.
No. No, what you and your sisters do,
what I saw you do...
...it...
...put some perspective on my work.
I want to protect that.
You might lose the merger.
I've lost worse.
Mr. Dean!