1 00:00:02,211 --> 00:00:03,455 "Will & Grace" is recorded 2 00:00:03,479 --> 00:00:05,545 in front of a live studio audience. 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,038 We feel asleep. 4 00:00:09,062 --> 00:00:11,029 Oh, my God, we fell asleep. Grace, Grace. 5 00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:12,831 Ah! 6 00:00:12,855 --> 00:00:14,432 Hit off. Off. 7 00:00:14,456 --> 00:00:15,600 Hit the off button. 8 00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:17,102 I don't know how to! 9 00:00:18,994 --> 00:00:21,862 There goes the few chest hairs I had left. 10 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:24,736 Well, they were gray, so you're welcome. 11 00:00:26,468 --> 00:00:28,446 Comen, Jenny's gonna be here any second. 12 00:00:28,470 --> 00:00:30,181 I want the place to look nice for her. 13 00:00:30,205 --> 00:00:32,550 - Jenny? - My surrogate. 14 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:33,585 Can you at least pretend 15 00:00:33,609 --> 00:00:35,553 that you've been listening to me for the last year? 16 00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:37,312 I was pretending! 17 00:00:39,181 --> 00:00:42,048 And besides, I'm tired. 18 00:00:42,072 --> 00:00:44,062 Grace, we're gonna be parents. 19 00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:45,196 We got to learn how to... 20 00:00:45,220 --> 00:00:48,740 how to have energy for longer than four hours in a row. 21 00:00:49,558 --> 00:00:52,137 But... but... 22 00:00:52,161 --> 00:00:53,453 TV. 23 00:00:54,163 --> 00:00:55,673 No. 24 00:00:55,697 --> 00:00:58,243 Our kids are gonna be running around, getting into things. 25 00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:01,846 Their dopey, whiny friends will be dropping by at all hours. 26 00:01:01,870 --> 00:01:03,922 I hate my life. 27 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,385 Once again, it's my mother's birthday, 28 00:01:07,409 --> 00:01:08,686 and I have no idea what to get her. 29 00:01:08,710 --> 00:01:10,255 Just don't try and be cute. 30 00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:12,657 Once, I told my mom I was her gift. 31 00:01:12,681 --> 00:01:14,933 She asked if I came with a receipt. 32 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,186 You thought that was cute? 33 00:01:19,521 --> 00:01:22,066 I don't know... maybe my mom will like this 34 00:01:22,090 --> 00:01:25,503 overpriced coffee table or this stupid bar cart 35 00:01:25,527 --> 00:01:27,581 or that Asian baby humping a fish. 36 00:01:28,764 --> 00:01:31,276 He is not humping a fish. 37 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,535 They are spooning. It's sweet. 38 00:01:35,037 --> 00:01:37,549 We don't have time for other people's problems right now. 39 00:01:37,573 --> 00:01:39,917 Make time. I've got a problem. 40 00:01:40,442 --> 00:01:41,853 My jeweler... 41 00:01:41,877 --> 00:01:44,129 and I can say that because "Jew" is in the name... 42 00:01:46,215 --> 00:01:49,227 has informed me that a ring I was having reset 43 00:01:49,251 --> 00:01:51,729 has been delivered by mistake to the manse. 44 00:01:51,753 --> 00:01:54,299 Now I got to go over there and get it. 45 00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:55,700 Jackie, will you come with me? 46 00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:58,602 I can't face Stan's neck rolls by myself. 47 00:01:59,394 --> 00:02:02,040 Kar, I wish I could. 48 00:02:02,064 --> 00:02:03,374 But I have to figure out 49 00:02:03,398 --> 00:02:04,712 what to get my mother for her birthday. 50 00:02:04,736 --> 00:02:07,579 I can't just go to your house full of precious doodads 51 00:02:07,603 --> 00:02:10,697 and priceless old-lady whatnots there for the taking. 52 00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:21,748 Poodle, did you just get your chocolate in my peanut butter? 53 00:02:26,455 --> 00:02:27,921 I think I did. 54 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,239 Okay, come on, we got to finish cleaning up. 55 00:02:34,263 --> 00:02:35,740 Sounds good. 56 00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:38,225 I'm gonna go clean my pillow with my head. 57 00:02:45,218 --> 00:02:53,220 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 58 00:02:54,116 --> 00:02:56,461 Yeah, the pregnancy really hasn't slowed me down at all. 59 00:02:56,485 --> 00:02:57,595 Really? 60 00:02:57,619 --> 00:02:58,796 You're not cranky and nauseous 61 00:02:58,820 --> 00:03:02,367 and one foot isn't swollen, like, a lot more than the other 62 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:05,627 so you have to borrow a bigger left shoe from a friend? 63 00:03:06,295 --> 00:03:08,171 No, never. 64 00:03:08,997 --> 00:03:10,257 Yeah, me neither. 65 00:03:10,979 --> 00:03:14,181 Okay, you guys ready to play some games? 66 00:03:14,206 --> 00:03:16,013 Why is my left shoe so loose? 67 00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:20,618 Thank you guys for letting me stay here. 68 00:03:20,642 --> 00:03:21,819 I really didn't want to be 69 00:03:21,843 --> 00:03:23,221 at my apartment while they painted it. 70 00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:25,156 You know, the fumes could be bad for the baby. 71 00:03:25,180 --> 00:03:26,291 Of course, of course. 72 00:03:26,315 --> 00:03:27,558 Oh, you guys. 73 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:30,610 This is just like spending the weekend with my grandparents. 74 00:03:33,362 --> 00:03:35,030 Now, that is sobering. 75 00:03:35,657 --> 00:03:37,468 You think of us like your grandparents? 76 00:03:37,492 --> 00:03:38,870 No, no, no, no. 77 00:03:38,894 --> 00:03:41,538 Obviously, you're much younger than... 78 00:03:43,411 --> 00:03:45,042 You're younger than them. 79 00:03:45,734 --> 00:03:46,711 You had to count? 80 00:03:46,735 --> 00:03:47,745 Okay, okay, look, 81 00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:51,849 I know that we might be a little on the old side, 82 00:03:51,873 --> 00:03:55,275 but we are still pretty cool. 83 00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,489 We play games. 84 00:03:58,513 --> 00:04:00,525 Yahtzee, Heads Up!, 85 00:04:00,549 --> 00:04:02,059 Perquackey. 86 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,519 It's about to get lit. 87 00:04:05,721 --> 00:04:07,065 Okay, look, 88 00:04:07,089 --> 00:04:08,666 this... this weekend we're taking care of you, 89 00:04:08,690 --> 00:04:09,734 so what do you want to do tonight? 90 00:04:09,758 --> 00:04:12,537 Well, my friend texted me about seeing a band. 91 00:04:12,561 --> 00:04:14,572 Oh, we love live music. 92 00:04:14,596 --> 00:04:17,074 We listen to it all the time on Google. 93 00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:19,177 Let's... let's go. 94 00:04:19,201 --> 00:04:21,346 Now? It's... it's 8:30. 95 00:04:21,370 --> 00:04:22,747 - Grace? - Oh, no, she's right. 96 00:04:22,771 --> 00:04:24,685 Doors won't open for a few more hours. 97 00:04:26,041 --> 00:04:27,385 But... 98 00:04:27,409 --> 00:04:28,794 TV. 99 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,405 You guys don't have to go. 100 00:04:31,429 --> 00:04:34,926 Of course we do. You want to go, we want to go. 101 00:04:34,950 --> 00:04:36,094 Cool. 102 00:04:36,118 --> 00:04:38,229 - So who are we seeing? - An experimental noise band. 103 00:04:38,253 --> 00:04:39,638 Oi, gevalt. 104 00:04:40,389 --> 00:04:42,182 Noise? 105 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:44,035 My favorite. 106 00:04:44,059 --> 00:04:46,137 We should go... we should go early to get good seats. 107 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:48,980 There's no seats, but there is a mosh pit. 108 00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:53,819 So we'll be standing... 109 00:04:54,983 --> 00:04:56,488 after 8:30? 110 00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:02,953 I'm gonna need your shoe. 111 00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:11,655 My old key still works. 112 00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:13,523 Guess nothing's changed. 113 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,191 Wow. 114 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:17,861 I forgot how fancy this place is, Kar. 115 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:20,697 Well, you know what I always said about the manse... 116 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,499 it's not home, 117 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:23,974 but it's much. 118 00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:29,272 Four milkshakes? 119 00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:32,375 Stan usually only has three. 120 00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:35,402 And this one doesn't have chicken in it. 121 00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:38,882 I someone else here? 122 00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,244 It's my mom. 123 00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:51,460 What is it, Mother? 124 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,363 No, I'm not getting you 125 00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,589 leather pants for your birthday. 126 00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:58,633 Because you can't pull them off. 127 00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:02,721 No, I mean you literally can't pull them off. 128 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,041 And don't ask me again to help you. 129 00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,892 Fool me once. 130 00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:09,879 All right, stop talking. I have to go. 131 00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:10,814 I have to go! 132 00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:14,024 I'm... I'm at a fancy store shopping for you. 133 00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:17,153 Jackie, this glass has lipstick on it. 134 00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:19,756 Do you think Stan's seeing someone? 135 00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,393 I'm sending her to voice mail. 136 00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:25,995 That's impossible, Karen. Who could ever take your place? 137 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,519 Hey, guys. 138 00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,808 Huh... what... Val? 139 00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,411 What the hell are you doing in my house? 140 00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,720 And why are you wearing my shower curtain? 141 00:06:44,554 --> 00:06:45,982 I live here now. 142 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:48,558 Stan and I are lovers. 143 00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:52,479 Have you even been reinforced? 144 00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:56,359 It's a sweet, sweet story, really. 145 00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:59,653 I was in the park trying to coax a rabbit into my purse. 146 00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:03,500 I saw Stan buying a hot dog... 147 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,656 cart. 148 00:07:05,243 --> 00:07:08,271 And you know how he always makes that wheezing sound? 149 00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:09,606 Well, I told him I could help him. 150 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,775 I'm a licensed breath-ologist now. 151 00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:14,277 - That makes sense, yeah. - Of course you are. 152 00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:16,112 Anyhow, I gave him my card. 153 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:19,349 One thing led to another and now we're boyfriend-girlfriend. 154 00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:21,883 I do love a meat-cart-cute. 155 00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,220 Look, Val, 156 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,789 if you want to play house 157 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:28,725 with my house of an ex-husband, have at it. 158 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,293 I just want my ring back. 159 00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:34,197 Ooh, yeah. Sorry, I can't. 160 00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,800 See, it got delivered here, and Stan said, 161 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:38,835 "You're my girlfriend now, so you should have it." 162 00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:42,153 And he did it all in one breath just like I taught him. 163 00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:46,309 But, guys, it was so fun to see you. 164 00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:48,645 I miss you two fruity-doos. 165 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:53,438 But could you please leave now before I have to call security? 166 00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:59,422 Are you okay, Kar? 167 00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:02,492 I mean, Stan and Val? 168 00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,551 Val? 169 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,529 Crazy Val? 170 00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:07,831 Stalker Val? 171 00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,332 Insurance Fraud Val? 172 00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,790 Oh, stop making her sound fun. 173 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,072 I got to get my ring back. 174 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:19,649 Stan gave it to my the night we bought our first election. 175 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,780 I didn't realize it had so much sentimental value. 176 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,415 Honey, you got to help me get it back. 177 00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:27,116 But Val's no dummy. 178 00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,785 Whatever plan we come up with 179 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:32,162 is gonna require subtlety and nuance. 180 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,260 How do we look? 181 00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:41,546 Like both community college and porn were too hard for you. 182 00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:45,223 You're not just saying that? 183 00:08:45,717 --> 00:08:48,204 And now for the final touch... 184 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:50,221 eau de minimum wage. 185 00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:56,379 Hey, sorry I had to bail early. 186 00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,772 It was just getting to be past their bedtime. 187 00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:02,785 Yeah, no. I know it's only 11:30. 188 00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:04,420 What a fun night. 189 00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:08,156 The experimental noise was very loud, though. 190 00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:09,926 Yes, I know. 191 00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:13,203 And the band really appreciated it when you told them that. 192 00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:16,665 Thanks. They're not real diamonds. 193 00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:21,938 Will, are you okay? 194 00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:24,798 I think it was a mistake to twerk. 195 00:09:25,499 --> 00:09:27,550 Yeah, for a lot of reasons. 196 00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:32,180 I don't think you should have twerked... for a lot of reasons. 197 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,486 Look, why don't you two go lie down? 198 00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:38,121 I'm gonna get my stuff out of your room. 199 00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:40,823 Oh, no, no, Grace and I can sleep in her bed. 200 00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:42,358 It'll be just like when we dated, 201 00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:45,517 except this time I won't be faking an injury. 202 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,264 That was fun. 203 00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:49,766 Yeah, it really keeps you young. 204 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,168 - What? - I said, "Keeps you young." 205 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,959 They're not real diamonds. 206 00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,794 You have until the count of three... 207 00:10:12,922 --> 00:10:14,613 thousand to cut that out. 208 00:10:15,885 --> 00:10:18,364 One, one and a half... 209 00:10:22,759 --> 00:10:24,474 Fix your ties, swallow your pride. 210 00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:25,960 She's coming. 211 00:10:26,531 --> 00:10:28,242 Hey, you guys. 212 00:10:28,266 --> 00:10:31,712 Oh, look at you all so serious. 213 00:10:31,736 --> 00:10:35,649 I need somebody to volunteer to come to my boudoir, 214 00:10:35,673 --> 00:10:37,751 check all the closets for monsters, 215 00:10:37,775 --> 00:10:38,953 and tuck me in. 216 00:10:38,977 --> 00:10:42,356 There's an extra caramel in it for anyone who has teeth. 217 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,419 Sorry, Margot. 218 00:10:45,016 --> 00:10:46,193 I'll do it. 219 00:10:46,217 --> 00:10:48,062 I'm sorry. I don't remember you. 220 00:10:48,086 --> 00:10:49,797 I'm Eliza. 221 00:10:49,821 --> 00:10:51,298 And what do you do, Eliza? 222 00:10:51,322 --> 00:10:55,013 Mm, this and that. Buns and nickels. 223 00:10:55,994 --> 00:10:57,932 This is my friend... 224 00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:00,643 Oliver. 225 00:11:05,570 --> 00:11:07,414 Ow. 226 00:11:09,874 --> 00:11:11,952 Ugh. 227 00:11:11,976 --> 00:11:13,554 Why are you moaning, too? 228 00:11:13,578 --> 00:11:16,800 I had two non-alcoholic beers at that club. 229 00:11:16,824 --> 00:11:20,580 I got none of the buzz and all of the gas. 230 00:11:21,252 --> 00:11:23,937 - Plus, I am freezing. - What? 231 00:11:23,961 --> 00:11:25,263 It's a thousand degrees in here. 232 00:11:25,287 --> 00:11:26,743 I'm taking this cover off. 233 00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:29,380 I would not lift that up if I were you. 234 00:11:30,595 --> 00:11:31,972 This should knock her out. 235 00:11:31,996 --> 00:11:32,940 Then we can grab the ring. 236 00:11:32,964 --> 00:11:33,874 Okay. 237 00:11:33,898 --> 00:11:36,343 Ooh, what'd you use? Deep Sleeps, Orange Fog? 238 00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:39,313 Who knows? I just shook out my purse. 239 00:11:39,337 --> 00:11:41,082 Now, to cover our tracks, 240 00:11:41,106 --> 00:11:43,117 we may have to change our identities, 241 00:11:43,141 --> 00:11:45,352 burn off our fingerprints, and go underground. 242 00:11:45,376 --> 00:11:46,754 Or... 243 00:11:46,778 --> 00:11:49,317 we can just not make that big of a deal out of it. 244 00:11:49,929 --> 00:11:51,340 Darn, in my head, 245 00:11:51,364 --> 00:11:54,030 I already changed my identity to Johnny Cox. 246 00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:55,811 He's a retired porn star 247 00:11:55,835 --> 00:11:58,201 who found the Lord but kept his stage name. 248 00:11:58,838 --> 00:12:00,203 Come in. 249 00:12:01,107 --> 00:12:02,551 Hey. Can I get you guys anything? 250 00:12:02,575 --> 00:12:04,753 Yeah, can you get another blanket from the closet? 251 00:12:04,777 --> 00:12:06,455 But not the gray one... it makes me itch. 252 00:12:06,479 --> 00:12:08,223 And not the red one 'cause it makes me sneeze. 253 00:12:08,247 --> 00:12:09,479 And can you take the tray? 254 00:12:09,514 --> 00:12:12,460 Grace... she's our guest, not our nurse. 255 00:12:12,485 --> 00:12:13,495 It's fine. 256 00:12:13,519 --> 00:12:15,964 I'll get another blanket, I'll take the tray, 257 00:12:15,988 --> 00:12:17,385 and if you need to go to the restroom 258 00:12:17,409 --> 00:12:19,134 before you go to sleep, I will take you there. 259 00:12:19,158 --> 00:12:22,366 I don't need anybody's help to go the bathroom. 260 00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:24,894 I can do that myself. 261 00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:33,137 Begging your pardon, ma'am, 262 00:12:33,161 --> 00:12:37,241 but wouldn't you have a glass of warm strawberry milk? 263 00:12:37,265 --> 00:12:39,909 Straight from the strawberry cow's teat. 264 00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:41,812 You guys are so good for me. 265 00:12:41,836 --> 00:12:45,104 And thank you for remember that I'm on an all-dairy diet. 266 00:12:47,241 --> 00:12:50,643 Oop, every last drop. 267 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,593 You know, I've always had problems sleeping, 268 00:12:56,617 --> 00:12:58,395 and I've tried everything. 269 00:12:58,419 --> 00:12:59,863 I've tried meditating, 270 00:12:59,887 --> 00:13:02,633 shoplifting, cutting other people's nails, 271 00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:05,202 and, finally, finally, I stumbled on the one thing 272 00:13:05,226 --> 00:13:07,004 that really helps. 273 00:13:07,028 --> 00:13:08,806 Oh! 274 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,845 - She's out. - Well, wake her up. 275 00:13:10,869 --> 00:13:12,142 I want to know what helped her sleep. 276 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,411 What? Get her on the bed. 277 00:13:14,435 --> 00:13:18,549 I can't lift her by myself. She's full of dairy. 278 00:13:18,573 --> 00:13:19,709 I'll get her legs. 279 00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:21,234 - Yeah, okay. - Okay, okay, okay. 280 00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:22,385 Okay, get her to the bed. 281 00:13:22,409 --> 00:13:23,513 To the bed, to the bed, to the bed. 282 00:13:23,537 --> 00:13:25,015 Wait. What? 283 00:13:27,608 --> 00:13:29,553 It's like being back at Sarah Lawrence. 284 00:13:29,577 --> 00:13:32,689 Okay. 285 00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:38,028 Can you go a little faster? 286 00:13:38,052 --> 00:13:40,252 It's like watching a tree die. 287 00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:47,537 This soup smells really terrible. 288 00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:49,461 I know, right? 289 00:13:55,369 --> 00:13:57,714 - Wait, wait, wait. Ow! - Let's just... Whoa! 290 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,784 Ma'am, are you all right? I heard a thud. 291 00:14:00,808 --> 00:14:02,789 Must be in your head. 292 00:14:02,813 --> 00:14:05,188 It could be a tumor. 293 00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:07,526 You should see a doctor. 294 00:14:07,550 --> 00:14:10,182 But stay in network. 295 00:14:13,166 --> 00:14:14,744 Oh, okay. 296 00:14:18,104 --> 00:14:19,749 It's stuck. I'll get some soap. 297 00:14:19,773 --> 00:14:21,553 What if there's no liquid soap? 298 00:14:24,644 --> 00:14:26,455 We'll just cut her finger off. 299 00:14:26,479 --> 00:14:27,423 Okay. 300 00:14:27,447 --> 00:14:30,148 Mother, I can't talk now. I'm under a woman. 301 00:14:32,152 --> 00:14:35,064 Why does that make you happy? 302 00:14:35,088 --> 00:14:37,333 What? Are you... 303 00:14:37,357 --> 00:14:40,547 No, I'm not taking you on a cruise for your birthday. 304 00:14:40,571 --> 00:14:42,679 What, and spend ten days rubbing your belly 305 00:14:42,703 --> 00:14:44,896 'cause you ate too much pineapple? 306 00:14:45,231 --> 00:14:46,931 No. That's a hard pass. 307 00:14:52,572 --> 00:14:55,056 So strange being back here. 308 00:14:55,101 --> 00:14:56,852 Different but the same. 309 00:14:56,876 --> 00:14:59,290 They changed my medicine cabinet 310 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,582 into a Pilates studio. 311 00:15:02,952 --> 00:15:04,896 Know what, Kar? 312 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,015 This feels kind of nice. 313 00:15:07,690 --> 00:15:11,858 If women kept their clothes on, I could be straight. 314 00:15:13,729 --> 00:15:16,985 I got it. I got it. 315 00:15:17,009 --> 00:15:19,244 What's going on? 316 00:15:19,268 --> 00:15:22,238 Did I take a milk nap? 317 00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:25,021 Go back to sleep. Okay. 318 00:15:25,045 --> 00:15:27,151 What happened to your accent? 319 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,620 Oh, I assimilated. 320 00:15:28,644 --> 00:15:31,039 Got my GED and said good-bye to my health care. 321 00:15:31,814 --> 00:15:34,126 And I was never British. 322 00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:42,877 You did it, Kar. You got what you came for. 323 00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,745 Yeah. 324 00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:46,080 What's the matter? 325 00:15:46,104 --> 00:15:48,015 You got that happy-sad look, 326 00:15:48,039 --> 00:15:49,684 like when you see a waiter fall 327 00:15:49,708 --> 00:15:52,351 but then realize they were carrying your drink. 328 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:58,326 It's this inscription... "Forever yours." 329 00:15:58,350 --> 00:16:00,828 Stan had that inscribed for you, huh? 330 00:16:00,852 --> 00:16:03,321 But we didn't last forever, did we? 331 00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:06,400 Stan's not mine anymore 332 00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,936 and this isn't mine anymore either. 333 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,038 None of this is. 334 00:16:11,062 --> 00:16:12,607 But you had a whole life here. 335 00:16:12,631 --> 00:16:15,083 My life is somewhere else now. 336 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:18,412 I'm not even sure this place brings me joy anymore. 337 00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:19,536 Boo! 338 00:16:27,078 --> 00:16:29,972 Funny is funny, right? 339 00:16:32,884 --> 00:16:34,896 Not another step, you two. 340 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,697 It was her idea. 341 00:16:36,721 --> 00:16:38,766 Karen, Jack, 342 00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:41,269 were you gonna leave without saying good-bye? 343 00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:42,937 How'd you know it was us? 344 00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:45,363 Your faces. 345 00:16:46,398 --> 00:16:47,875 Gosh, I had so much fun 346 00:16:47,899 --> 00:16:50,910 playing make-'em-ups and getting drugged by you. 347 00:16:52,070 --> 00:16:52,947 I'm glad you got your ring back. 348 00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:55,706 It's obviously super important to you. 349 00:16:56,241 --> 00:16:58,286 Thanks Val, but... 350 00:16:58,310 --> 00:16:59,720 I don't want it. 351 00:16:59,744 --> 00:17:00,922 It belongs to you. 352 00:17:00,946 --> 00:17:01,989 Oh, no. I can't take it. 353 00:17:02,013 --> 00:17:04,090 Stan got it for you. 354 00:17:04,202 --> 00:17:05,902 And if I want something really nice on my hands, 355 00:17:05,927 --> 00:17:08,970 I can just ask him to buy me fancy ring pops. 356 00:17:10,944 --> 00:17:13,990 Besides, I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship. 357 00:17:14,392 --> 00:17:16,304 You think of me as a friend? 358 00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:18,839 You're, like, my best friend. 359 00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,141 Best human friend. 360 00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:22,233 You think of me as human? 361 00:17:23,101 --> 00:17:25,001 Kind of. 362 00:17:26,771 --> 00:17:29,951 Well, if neither of us wants the ring 363 00:17:29,975 --> 00:17:31,252 what should we do with it? 364 00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:39,160 Yeah. No, Mother, that's right. 365 00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:41,627 I had it inscribed just for you. 366 00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:44,632 Well, I meant it. 367 00:17:44,656 --> 00:17:46,000 I am... 368 00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,884 forever yours. 369 00:17:51,329 --> 00:17:52,840 No, Mother, I'm married now. 370 00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:56,309 I'm never moving home. My only plan B is death. 371 00:17:57,736 --> 00:17:59,213 What do you mean where are you gonna wear it? 372 00:17:59,237 --> 00:18:00,514 How about anywhere? 373 00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:02,183 You're a 77-year-old knockout 374 00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:03,985 with a high arch and your own hair! 375 00:18:04,009 --> 00:18:05,151 Live it! 376 00:18:06,077 --> 00:18:07,820 And, Mom... 377 00:18:08,813 --> 00:18:10,489 happy birthday. 378 00:18:11,850 --> 00:18:13,828 Okay, I'm back. 379 00:18:13,852 --> 00:18:16,631 Everything go okay in there? You were gone for a half hour. 380 00:18:16,655 --> 00:18:18,733 I had to lean up against the tile for a while till the... 381 00:18:18,757 --> 00:18:20,568 till the spasms went away, but... 382 00:18:20,592 --> 00:18:23,037 but I'm good as... 383 00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:24,694 Will you go lie down, please? 384 00:18:25,379 --> 00:18:27,174 This is crazy. You're having my baby. 385 00:18:27,198 --> 00:18:29,210 I'm supposed to be taking care of you. 386 00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:30,597 Are you... are you hungry? 387 00:18:30,621 --> 00:18:33,429 If you give me six hours, I can get to the kitchen. 388 00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,650 No, just get in bed. 389 00:18:35,674 --> 00:18:38,052 You're as stubborn as my grandpa. 390 00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:39,420 This side. 391 00:18:39,444 --> 00:18:43,057 Move over. 392 00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:45,059 Oh, and it was perfect. 393 00:18:47,452 --> 00:18:49,697 No wonder we remind you of your grandparents. 394 00:18:49,721 --> 00:18:52,700 We're basically skeletons having babies. 395 00:18:52,724 --> 00:18:55,403 But isn't having kids gonna keep us young? 396 00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:57,605 Isn't that something people say? 397 00:18:57,629 --> 00:18:59,762 It's something liars say. 398 00:19:02,734 --> 00:19:04,912 We're gonna be exhausted and frail, 399 00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:08,082 and we won't understand any of their weird music 400 00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:09,717 or technology. 401 00:19:09,741 --> 00:19:12,718 I don't understand any of our technology. 402 00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:16,691 How are we grandparents before we're even parents? 403 00:19:16,715 --> 00:19:19,226 No, when I said you guys reminded me of my grandparents, 404 00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:21,262 I meant that as a compliment. 405 00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:23,964 My mom worked three jobs. My dad left when I was little. 406 00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:26,600 My grandparents pretty much raised me. 407 00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:29,592 But they were active grandparents, right? 408 00:19:31,635 --> 00:19:32,673 Like, the ones 409 00:19:32,697 --> 00:19:35,326 who have snowball fights in the Celebrex ads? 410 00:19:35,350 --> 00:19:36,410 Mm-mm. 411 00:19:36,434 --> 00:19:38,112 No, they hardly left the couch, 412 00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:41,449 but they were kind, and they knew how the world worked. 413 00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:42,650 And when I had hard days... 414 00:19:42,674 --> 00:19:44,719 and I had a lot of really hard days... 415 00:19:44,743 --> 00:19:46,887 they would let me sleep right in between them 416 00:19:46,911 --> 00:19:48,723 where I knew I was safe. 417 00:19:48,747 --> 00:19:52,466 That's what a kid needs, not someone to twerk with. 418 00:19:53,314 --> 00:19:55,262 You're not gonna let me forget that, are you? 419 00:19:55,286 --> 00:19:56,630 Never. 420 00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,999 And if you do, I have a video. 421 00:19:59,023 --> 00:20:00,801 Oh, good. 422 00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:02,603 You guys are gonna be great parents. 423 00:20:02,627 --> 00:20:04,105 - Thanks. - That means a lot. 424 00:20:04,129 --> 00:20:06,507 All right, good night, guys. Get some rest. 425 00:20:06,531 --> 00:20:08,576 Um, you know, there's room for one more in here. 426 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,089 - Really? - Yeah. 427 00:20:10,113 --> 00:20:13,447 You'll be sleeping in a sea of crumbs and used dental floss, 428 00:20:13,471 --> 00:20:15,004 but you'll get used to it. 429 00:20:16,307 --> 00:20:17,451 He's joking. 430 00:20:17,475 --> 00:20:19,160 I don't floss. 431 00:20:23,148 --> 00:20:25,326 Ahh... 432 00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:29,045 Aw. This is so nice. 433 00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:32,166 And this duvet is so comfortable. 434 00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:34,091 I got a good deal. 435 00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,538 Of course, this was in the '90s, 436 00:20:37,562 --> 00:20:40,306 so things were much cheaper then. 437 00:20:41,499 --> 00:20:44,512 You could get a cup of coffee for a dollar. 438 00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:45,679 Shut up. 439 00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,237 You could see a movie for five. 440 00:20:48,262 --> 00:20:50,351 That's crazy. 441 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:54,388 This reminds me of this one time I was at my grandparent's. 442 00:20:54,412 --> 00:20:56,390 It was the middle of winter. 443 00:20:56,414 --> 00:20:59,059 I'd been playing in the snow all day. 444 00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:02,897 My grandma made me a cup of hot cocoa. 445 00:21:08,108 --> 00:21:10,519 Damn! The lights. 446 00:21:16,434 --> 00:21:18,434 Oh they are old.