1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,626 "Will & Grace" is recorded 2 00:00:01,627 --> 00:00:04,195 in front of a live studio audience. 3 00:00:04,426 --> 00:00:05,392 Hold the elevator, please. 4 00:00:05,427 --> 00:00:06,393 No, don't, don't. 5 00:00:06,428 --> 00:00:07,628 - Why? - 'Cause it's James. 6 00:00:07,662 --> 00:00:09,596 The guy you dated who found out you slept with his son? 7 00:00:09,631 --> 00:00:11,331 And his father. Let it close, let it close. 8 00:00:11,366 --> 00:00:12,900 Take your time. We'll hold. 9 00:00:12,934 --> 00:00:14,097 Oh. 10 00:00:14,769 --> 00:00:16,542 You suck. 11 00:00:17,605 --> 00:00:19,940 Hi. 12 00:00:19,974 --> 00:00:21,463 - Thanks. - Sure. 13 00:00:25,346 --> 00:00:26,313 Hello, Grace. 14 00:00:26,347 --> 00:00:28,095 Hello, James. 15 00:00:28,650 --> 00:00:30,250 - You're looking well. - Thank you. 16 00:00:30,285 --> 00:00:32,453 - You too. - We're fine. 17 00:00:32,487 --> 00:00:34,601 Come out from behind the umbrella, please. 18 00:00:35,523 --> 00:00:36,895 Hello. 19 00:00:37,792 --> 00:00:40,627 You know, in fact, why don't we get a fresh start? 20 00:00:40,662 --> 00:00:42,863 Let's go out for a drink some time. 21 00:00:42,897 --> 00:00:44,194 Really? 22 00:00:44,799 --> 00:00:47,501 I'd like that. And no one needs to hear from you. 23 00:00:47,535 --> 00:00:48,535 Don't you think you should tell him about the... 24 00:00:48,570 --> 00:00:51,371 - I think it can wait. - I don't think it can. 25 00:00:51,406 --> 00:00:54,108 Okay, given our history and the fact 26 00:00:54,142 --> 00:00:56,039 that I just heard all that, 27 00:00:56,745 --> 00:00:59,501 I'd actually kind of like to have all the information up front. 28 00:01:00,482 --> 00:01:03,217 I'm pregnant, but the father is not in the picture. 29 00:01:03,251 --> 00:01:05,986 It's not someone in my family, is it? 30 00:01:06,020 --> 00:01:07,551 He's gotta ask. 31 00:01:08,323 --> 00:01:11,625 No, no, it's not your father or your son... 32 00:01:11,659 --> 00:01:13,961 - or you. - Ah! 33 00:01:13,995 --> 00:01:15,963 Good to know. 34 00:01:15,997 --> 00:01:17,331 Well, look, I don't have a problem with it 35 00:01:17,365 --> 00:01:19,021 if you don't have a problem with it. 36 00:01:19,734 --> 00:01:21,034 I don't have a problem with it. 37 00:01:21,069 --> 00:01:22,202 Great. 38 00:01:22,237 --> 00:01:23,470 I'll text you. 39 00:01:27,008 --> 00:01:28,208 You're a pregnant woman 40 00:01:28,243 --> 00:01:30,077 who slept with everyone in his family. 41 00:01:30,111 --> 00:01:32,479 How are you getting more action than me? 42 00:01:32,514 --> 00:01:33,981 I don't know what to tell you, Will. 43 00:01:34,015 --> 00:01:35,149 When you got it, you got it. 44 00:01:35,183 --> 00:01:37,718 Oh. No, wait. 45 00:01:37,752 --> 00:01:39,653 Oh, my God. No, no, no, no! 46 00:01:43,418 --> 00:01:51,422 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 47 00:01:51,466 --> 00:01:54,001 You know what the best thing about going on a date 48 00:01:54,035 --> 00:01:57,571 with someone where you slept with his father and his son? 49 00:01:57,605 --> 00:02:00,569 You know if they're only culturally Jewish? 50 00:02:01,876 --> 00:02:04,316 There's nothing I can do that's worse. 51 00:02:05,213 --> 00:02:06,346 I mean, if he's already forgiven me 52 00:02:06,381 --> 00:02:08,015 for something that bad, 53 00:02:08,049 --> 00:02:09,696 I can't get away with anything. 54 00:02:10,418 --> 00:02:12,115 You should run for president. 55 00:02:15,223 --> 00:02:16,757 Aren't you going out for dinner? 56 00:02:16,791 --> 00:02:19,426 Yeah, but if I stuff my face now with Mexican, 57 00:02:19,460 --> 00:02:22,095 I can graze delicately on our date. 58 00:02:22,130 --> 00:02:23,831 Like a lady. 59 00:02:26,968 --> 00:02:29,069 ♪ Jeepers creepers ♪ 60 00:02:29,103 --> 00:02:30,871 ♪ I'm getting new peepers ♪ 61 00:02:30,905 --> 00:02:33,073 ♪ Lasik surgery ♪ 62 00:02:33,107 --> 00:02:35,442 ♪ Paid by my friend Will ♪ 63 00:02:35,476 --> 00:02:37,744 Did you buy that outfit just for this bit? 64 00:02:37,779 --> 00:02:42,082 No, the hat is from a hip-hop barber shop quartet, 65 00:02:42,116 --> 00:02:45,482 and the cane is so I can trip people on roller blades. 66 00:02:46,187 --> 00:02:48,488 You know, if you cut down on these sorts of purchases, 67 00:02:48,523 --> 00:02:50,424 you could pay for the surgery by yourself. 68 00:02:50,458 --> 00:02:51,825 Forget your milkshake, 69 00:02:51,860 --> 00:02:54,616 practicality brings all the boys to your yard. 70 00:02:55,749 --> 00:02:57,064 It is a lot of money. 71 00:02:57,098 --> 00:02:58,298 Well... 72 00:02:58,333 --> 00:02:59,766 she's expensive, but she's worth it. 73 00:03:01,603 --> 00:03:04,238 Plus, it's an investment. 74 00:03:04,272 --> 00:03:05,739 Plus... 75 00:03:05,773 --> 00:03:07,274 shut up. 76 00:03:07,308 --> 00:03:11,011 Having to wear glasses at auditions makes me look old. 77 00:03:11,045 --> 00:03:12,779 It's obviously the reason for the recent lull 78 00:03:12,814 --> 00:03:14,615 - in my acting career. - Mm. 79 00:03:14,649 --> 00:03:17,351 I'm not sure you know what "lull" means. 80 00:03:17,385 --> 00:03:19,586 I know what LOL means, 81 00:03:19,621 --> 00:03:22,227 and I know I'm not doing it right now. 82 00:03:23,324 --> 00:03:24,925 Oh, by the way, I opened a Venmo account 83 00:03:24,959 --> 00:03:26,860 so you can pay for the procedure tomorrow. 84 00:03:26,895 --> 00:03:30,152 Your username is Big-boned Girl. 85 00:03:31,699 --> 00:03:33,200 Yeah, check your phone. 86 00:03:33,234 --> 00:03:34,935 I need to know the security code they gave you. 87 00:03:34,969 --> 00:03:36,670 4-2-9-7. 88 00:03:36,704 --> 00:03:38,171 4-2-9-7. Got it. 89 00:03:38,206 --> 00:03:40,274 ♪ Thank you kindly ♪ 90 00:03:40,308 --> 00:03:42,109 ♪ Now I won't see blindly ♪ 91 00:03:42,143 --> 00:03:44,144 ♪ And the best part ♪ 92 00:03:44,178 --> 00:03:45,812 ♪ I don't pay the bill ♪ 93 00:03:47,982 --> 00:03:49,650 So now you're paying for his elective surgery? 94 00:03:49,684 --> 00:03:51,785 I mean, you're basically his sugar daddy, 95 00:03:51,819 --> 00:03:53,967 except you don't have sex, and you're both old. 96 00:03:55,056 --> 00:03:56,356 So I help him out a little. 97 00:03:56,391 --> 00:03:59,192 Yeah, but are you really helping him? 98 00:03:59,227 --> 00:04:01,528 It's not until you remove the net 99 00:04:01,562 --> 00:04:05,532 that one can really walk the high wire of life. 100 00:04:05,566 --> 00:04:08,357 What supermodel's Instagram is that from? 101 00:04:09,337 --> 00:04:10,437 Will you give me some credit? 102 00:04:10,471 --> 00:04:14,141 Chrissy Teigen is also a judge on reality television. 103 00:04:14,175 --> 00:04:16,209 It's not... it's not that bad. 104 00:04:16,244 --> 00:04:18,679 You know, I buy him a few things here and there. 105 00:04:18,713 --> 00:04:20,147 - Hello? - Yes, hello. 106 00:04:20,181 --> 00:04:23,684 This is Steve with credit fraud early warning. 107 00:04:23,718 --> 00:04:25,352 We need to verify some charges. 108 00:04:25,386 --> 00:04:27,988 - Sure. - We have a charge for $800 109 00:04:28,022 --> 00:04:28,956 at the Lasik Eye Center. 110 00:04:28,990 --> 00:04:31,191 - Yes, that's mine. - Good, good, good. 111 00:04:31,225 --> 00:04:32,659 There are three others. 112 00:04:32,694 --> 00:04:36,218 $185 at Balloon Elegance, 113 00:04:36,965 --> 00:04:41,668 $415 for a custom nude body suit, 114 00:04:41,703 --> 00:04:46,740 and $830 for various items at Submissive Male. 115 00:04:46,774 --> 00:04:51,778 Spelled M-A-L-E, like men. 116 00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:53,580 No, I got it, I got it, I got it. 117 00:04:53,614 --> 00:04:56,750 I didn't personally make any of those purchases. 118 00:04:56,784 --> 00:04:59,252 Oh, no reason to be embarrassed, Mr. Truman. 119 00:04:59,287 --> 00:05:01,121 We all have our hobbies. 120 00:05:01,155 --> 00:05:03,190 Mr. Truman, would you be willing 121 00:05:03,224 --> 00:05:07,127 to take a brief survey about customer satisfaction? 122 00:05:07,161 --> 00:05:08,528 Would I? 123 00:05:13,969 --> 00:05:15,503 Grace? 124 00:05:15,537 --> 00:05:17,759 Uh, in the kitchen. 125 00:05:21,468 --> 00:05:22,574 Morning. 126 00:05:22,608 --> 00:05:23,903 Who wakes up looking this good? 127 00:05:23,938 --> 00:05:25,905 I guess I do. 128 00:05:25,940 --> 00:05:27,407 I like this. 129 00:05:27,441 --> 00:05:29,075 I mean, you remember how messy it was last time? 130 00:05:29,109 --> 00:05:30,210 Yeah. 131 00:05:30,244 --> 00:05:31,544 This feels clean. 132 00:05:31,579 --> 00:05:32,979 That's me. 133 00:05:33,013 --> 00:05:35,181 Naturally clean. 134 00:05:36,784 --> 00:05:38,251 Listen, I gotta get going this morning, 135 00:05:38,285 --> 00:05:40,486 but stay as long as you like, 136 00:05:40,521 --> 00:05:44,057 and if you're here when I get home, 137 00:05:44,091 --> 00:05:46,079 I'd be delighted. 138 00:05:48,195 --> 00:05:50,096 Ooh. 139 00:05:50,130 --> 00:05:51,764 Will, we have to move. 140 00:05:52,967 --> 00:05:54,167 What? Why? 141 00:05:54,201 --> 00:05:56,169 A terrible, terrible thing happened. 142 00:05:56,203 --> 00:05:57,437 What, bad date? 143 00:05:57,471 --> 00:05:58,771 No, it was great. Great night. 144 00:05:58,806 --> 00:06:00,640 Great morning. Great everything. 145 00:06:00,674 --> 00:06:03,276 All we did was talk and kiss and he was such a gentleman 146 00:06:03,310 --> 00:06:04,644 and it was so romantic. 147 00:06:04,678 --> 00:06:06,479 So? 148 00:06:06,513 --> 00:06:09,449 After James left this morning for work, 149 00:06:09,483 --> 00:06:12,785 nature really started calling. 150 00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:14,858 I mean, hard. 151 00:06:16,156 --> 00:06:18,758 Like, I couldn't even make it up one flight of stairs 152 00:06:18,792 --> 00:06:21,448 to my own bathroom hard. 153 00:06:22,129 --> 00:06:23,863 Anyway... 154 00:06:23,897 --> 00:06:25,765 something terrible happened. 155 00:06:27,835 --> 00:06:29,936 I'm... I'm not following. 156 00:06:29,970 --> 00:06:31,875 There's a certain... 157 00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:36,004 clogging situation. 158 00:06:36,510 --> 00:06:38,177 You were dancing in wooden shoes? 159 00:06:38,212 --> 00:06:39,479 Why are you making me spell it out? 160 00:06:39,513 --> 00:06:42,782 Because it's hilarious. 161 00:06:42,816 --> 00:06:44,384 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So okay... 162 00:06:44,418 --> 00:06:47,654 two things, number one, did you call a plumber? 163 00:06:47,688 --> 00:06:49,689 Yes, I called, like, ten plumbers. 164 00:06:49,723 --> 00:06:50,523 What's number two? 165 00:06:50,557 --> 00:06:53,063 I think you know what number two is. 166 00:06:54,695 --> 00:06:56,195 The soonest a plumber can come is tonight. 167 00:06:56,230 --> 00:06:57,230 What am I supposed to do? 168 00:06:57,264 --> 00:06:58,197 Leave the country. 169 00:06:59,232 --> 00:07:00,967 No, I am serious. Move to Canada. 170 00:07:01,001 --> 00:07:02,168 Start all over. 171 00:07:02,202 --> 00:07:03,803 Get a new identity, new face, 172 00:07:03,837 --> 00:07:07,202 and here's a new name for you, Alice Cleanfanny. 173 00:07:08,609 --> 00:07:10,043 Would you please be serious? 174 00:07:10,077 --> 00:07:13,124 I am being completely serious, Alice. 175 00:07:13,881 --> 00:07:15,889 - Where are you going? - Well, I gotta teach a class, 176 00:07:15,923 --> 00:07:18,985 then I gotta pick up Jack from Lasik surgery. 177 00:07:19,019 --> 00:07:21,220 Guess you could say I got a real load to carry. 178 00:07:23,290 --> 00:07:24,390 Deuces. 179 00:07:28,896 --> 00:07:32,031 You know, the best part about this Lasik surgery 180 00:07:32,066 --> 00:07:35,605 is, you get to experience what it's like to be blind. 181 00:07:38,872 --> 00:07:40,873 Thank you. 182 00:07:40,908 --> 00:07:42,375 Brian. 183 00:07:42,409 --> 00:07:46,045 Whoa, commando. I guess it's laundry day. 184 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,748 Hey, gorgeous. 185 00:07:48,782 --> 00:07:51,050 What do you say you ditch Helen Keller here, 186 00:07:51,085 --> 00:07:54,554 and I'll show you who the real miracle worker is. 187 00:07:54,588 --> 00:07:56,789 Coco, you're married, remember? 188 00:07:56,824 --> 00:08:00,005 I do, 'cause you mentioned me in your vows. 189 00:08:00,594 --> 00:08:04,467 Well, you just say the word, and I'll "Gone Girl" him. 190 00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:08,067 So, Jack, I-I'd like to talk about something. 191 00:08:08,102 --> 00:08:09,235 Yeah? 192 00:08:09,269 --> 00:08:11,141 This is serious. 193 00:08:12,639 --> 00:08:14,269 Yeah? 194 00:08:14,641 --> 00:08:16,075 You know what Grace was saying 195 00:08:16,110 --> 00:08:17,777 about me paying for everything? 196 00:08:17,811 --> 00:08:20,246 Oh, my God, I was waiting for you to bring that up. 197 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,048 What was she even talking about? 198 00:08:22,082 --> 00:08:23,983 She seemed hysterical. 199 00:08:24,017 --> 00:08:27,453 I'm not gonna be offensive and say it's 'cause she's pregnant. 200 00:08:27,488 --> 00:08:29,618 It's 'cause she's a woman, right? 201 00:08:30,124 --> 00:08:32,225 Or does she have a point? 202 00:08:32,259 --> 00:08:35,895 I mean, maybe my paying for everything has held you back. 203 00:08:35,929 --> 00:08:37,022 Counterpoint: 204 00:08:37,057 --> 00:08:40,754 imagine what I could've done with more money. 205 00:08:41,368 --> 00:08:43,236 Do you ever feel like I'm infantilizing you? 206 00:08:43,270 --> 00:08:46,343 No, because I would never let you touch me there. 207 00:08:47,608 --> 00:08:49,442 What are you saying, woman? Speak clearly. 208 00:08:49,476 --> 00:08:51,640 I'm saying I've decided... 209 00:08:52,045 --> 00:08:53,683 to cut you off. 210 00:08:54,615 --> 00:08:57,817 Well, now I'm worried I need Lasik for my ears. 211 00:08:57,851 --> 00:08:58,978 Because it sounded like you said... 212 00:08:59,012 --> 00:09:01,754 I'm not giving you money anymore. 213 00:09:01,789 --> 00:09:03,623 What? 214 00:09:03,657 --> 00:09:05,892 This is worse than you infantilizing me. 215 00:09:07,494 --> 00:09:09,929 Oh, oh. You are crafty. 216 00:09:09,963 --> 00:09:11,164 You have brought me to a public place 217 00:09:11,198 --> 00:09:12,298 so I wouldn't make a scene. 218 00:09:12,332 --> 00:09:14,667 I brought you to a drag bar. I knew you'd make a scene. 219 00:09:14,701 --> 00:09:16,469 I wanted you to blend in. 220 00:09:18,505 --> 00:09:20,039 I'm doing this for your own good. 221 00:09:20,073 --> 00:09:21,207 No, you're not. 222 00:09:21,241 --> 00:09:24,177 You're doing this because you're a selfish little man 223 00:09:24,211 --> 00:09:26,145 with problem skin. 224 00:09:26,591 --> 00:09:28,481 Are you getting mad at me? 225 00:09:28,515 --> 00:09:29,715 I'm the one that should be pissed. 226 00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:31,684 I give you money for everything. 227 00:09:31,718 --> 00:09:33,719 My... my kid's college fund went to a failed 228 00:09:33,754 --> 00:09:35,688 adult bouncy castle business. 229 00:09:35,722 --> 00:09:38,061 Jumping Jacks was ahead of its time. 230 00:09:39,593 --> 00:09:42,315 The only misstep was partnering with Cactus Carl. 231 00:09:42,863 --> 00:09:46,165 Have you ever once considered paying me back? 232 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:47,834 Have you considered thanking me? 233 00:09:47,868 --> 00:09:49,502 What do I get out of this friendship except 234 00:09:49,536 --> 00:09:52,338 a barrage of insults and a reputation among 235 00:09:52,372 --> 00:09:55,662 certain call center employees that I'm an insatiable bottom? 236 00:09:58,045 --> 00:09:59,979 You want me to thank you, Will? 237 00:10:00,013 --> 00:10:03,015 Is that what you want? Okay, well, thank you, Will. 238 00:10:03,050 --> 00:10:07,420 Thank you for putting a price on our friendship. 239 00:10:07,454 --> 00:10:08,921 - Jack. - No, you've said enough. 240 00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:09,922 Jack, but, but... 241 00:10:12,125 --> 00:10:14,227 You have humiliated me in a public place, 242 00:10:14,261 --> 00:10:16,329 and now I'm going to leave this establishment 243 00:10:16,363 --> 00:10:18,531 in a dignified manner. 244 00:10:27,842 --> 00:10:29,843 Thank you so, so much for fitting me in. 245 00:10:29,877 --> 00:10:32,579 Well, you said your life depended on it. 246 00:10:32,613 --> 00:10:35,548 Well, my romantic life, but you don't care about that. 247 00:10:35,583 --> 00:10:37,217 You think because I'm a plumber, 248 00:10:37,251 --> 00:10:39,539 I don't care about love? 249 00:10:40,421 --> 00:10:42,922 Oh, no. No, of course not. 250 00:10:42,957 --> 00:10:46,059 See, um, I kind of blew it with this guy last year, 251 00:10:46,093 --> 00:10:47,360 and now I have a second chance... 252 00:10:47,394 --> 00:10:50,383 Turns out, I don't care that much. 253 00:10:51,365 --> 00:10:53,466 Um, the bathroom is right back there. 254 00:10:54,935 --> 00:10:56,502 It's pretty bad. 255 00:10:56,537 --> 00:10:58,738 No worries, ma'am. 256 00:10:58,772 --> 00:11:00,974 I've seen it all. 257 00:11:02,877 --> 00:11:05,523 Mother of God! 258 00:11:10,117 --> 00:11:15,121 Lady, you got a real situation going on in there. 259 00:11:15,155 --> 00:11:19,120 I think I just looked into the devil's eyes. 260 00:11:19,793 --> 00:11:24,130 There's no way this is a one-man job. 261 00:11:24,164 --> 00:11:25,698 You need more help? 262 00:11:25,733 --> 00:11:27,233 No, I mean there's no way 263 00:11:27,268 --> 00:11:29,589 you could've done that alone. 264 00:11:30,604 --> 00:11:32,071 But you could fix it, right? 265 00:11:32,106 --> 00:11:34,469 I don't even know what it is. 266 00:11:35,309 --> 00:11:37,243 I don't have the tools. 267 00:11:37,278 --> 00:11:39,512 I'll call my friend at the zoo. 268 00:11:41,782 --> 00:11:44,817 The zoo? It's not that bad. 269 00:11:44,852 --> 00:11:47,816 Is that really for you to say? 270 00:11:48,489 --> 00:11:49,889 I was just trying to be a lady. 271 00:11:49,924 --> 00:11:51,057 Try harder. 272 00:11:52,693 --> 00:11:54,460 I'll be back as soon as I can. 273 00:11:54,495 --> 00:11:56,462 What am I supposed to do in the meantime? 274 00:11:56,497 --> 00:11:59,165 I don't know. Leave the country? 275 00:11:59,199 --> 00:12:01,768 I wish people would stop making that joke. 276 00:12:01,802 --> 00:12:03,498 What joke? 277 00:12:10,611 --> 00:12:11,978 I am not a child. 278 00:12:14,549 --> 00:12:15,654 You know what? 279 00:12:15,689 --> 00:12:16,875 That's it. When I get home, 280 00:12:16,909 --> 00:12:18,685 I am telling Will our friendship is over. 281 00:12:18,719 --> 00:12:20,520 Wait. 282 00:12:20,554 --> 00:12:23,059 Uh, I didn't really ask your opinion. 283 00:12:24,191 --> 00:12:25,658 But you do make a point. 284 00:12:25,693 --> 00:12:28,194 Maybe I should wait. 285 00:12:28,228 --> 00:12:29,529 I'm being rash. 286 00:12:29,563 --> 00:12:30,863 I'm Jack, by the way. 287 00:12:30,898 --> 00:12:33,433 - Robert. - Nice to meet you, Robert. 288 00:12:34,568 --> 00:12:35,802 Maybe he's right, though. 289 00:12:35,836 --> 00:12:37,971 Maybe... maybe I should pay my own way. 290 00:12:38,005 --> 00:12:40,540 - Wait. - Thank you, that's crazy. 291 00:12:42,710 --> 00:12:44,177 What do you mean you can't help me? 292 00:12:44,211 --> 00:12:46,165 You're my sister, Janet. 293 00:12:46,547 --> 00:12:49,282 I helped you when your braces got stuck 294 00:12:49,316 --> 00:12:51,384 on Brian Landman's zipper. 295 00:12:51,418 --> 00:12:53,486 Yeah, I could've let Mom find you like that, 296 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,091 and I didn't. 297 00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:56,749 This is a crisis. 298 00:12:56,784 --> 00:12:59,679 Did you see the picture I sent? 299 00:13:00,494 --> 00:13:02,362 Yes, of course I lit some candles. 300 00:13:02,396 --> 00:13:04,230 I lit a jillion candles, 301 00:13:04,264 --> 00:13:05,999 so at least I know it smells like... 302 00:13:07,601 --> 00:13:09,731 Smoke, smoke, smoke! 303 00:13:10,404 --> 00:13:12,238 No! No, no, no, no, no, no. 304 00:13:12,272 --> 00:13:15,008 No, no, fire extinguisher. 305 00:13:15,042 --> 00:13:16,476 Fire extinguisher. 306 00:13:16,510 --> 00:13:18,344 Fire extinguisher. 307 00:13:18,379 --> 00:13:20,179 Okay. 308 00:13:20,214 --> 00:13:22,515 All right, baby. 309 00:13:22,549 --> 00:13:25,385 We can do this. We can do this. 310 00:13:36,263 --> 00:13:38,197 Oh, my God! 311 00:13:45,272 --> 00:13:46,893 Oh. 312 00:13:48,876 --> 00:13:50,076 Oh, God. 313 00:13:52,279 --> 00:13:53,679 Oh, my God. 314 00:13:53,714 --> 00:13:55,181 Grace, are you all right? 315 00:13:55,215 --> 00:13:57,550 I-I'm fine. I'm fine. 316 00:13:57,584 --> 00:13:58,918 What happened? 317 00:13:58,952 --> 00:14:00,386 Um... 318 00:14:00,421 --> 00:14:02,325 um... 319 00:14:03,057 --> 00:14:04,991 you've been robbed! 320 00:14:06,427 --> 00:14:07,360 Wait, when did this happen? 321 00:14:07,394 --> 00:14:09,429 How am I supposed to know? I wasn't here. 322 00:14:09,463 --> 00:14:11,631 I mean, I was, but then I left, and then when I came back 323 00:14:11,665 --> 00:14:13,533 to see if you were home, the door was open. 324 00:14:13,567 --> 00:14:14,901 All right, I'm calling the police. 325 00:14:14,935 --> 00:14:18,571 No. I mean... do we trust them? 326 00:14:18,605 --> 00:14:20,406 I mean, what if it's one of them that did it? 327 00:14:20,441 --> 00:14:21,574 Grace, my apartment got robbed. 328 00:14:21,608 --> 00:14:24,777 It's not "The Departed," okay? 329 00:14:24,812 --> 00:14:27,647 Why do I smell smoke and lavender? 330 00:14:27,681 --> 00:14:32,718 The robber must've lit scented candles to calm down. 331 00:14:33,921 --> 00:14:36,401 Because crime is stressful. 332 00:14:38,792 --> 00:14:40,460 I mean, I once stole 333 00:14:40,494 --> 00:14:42,762 a king-size Almond Joy from a bodega, 334 00:14:42,796 --> 00:14:44,664 and I was so stressed out afterwards, 335 00:14:44,698 --> 00:14:46,232 I had to get a hot stone massage. 336 00:14:46,266 --> 00:14:47,700 It's a real thing. 337 00:14:49,770 --> 00:14:52,004 I'll make sure to tell the cops your theory. 338 00:14:57,824 --> 00:14:59,857 You say the door was open when you got here? 339 00:14:59,891 --> 00:15:01,125 That's what I said. 340 00:15:01,159 --> 00:15:03,127 Oh, but you don't have to write that down. 341 00:15:03,161 --> 00:15:05,346 Oh, but I do. 342 00:15:06,064 --> 00:15:09,867 Well, whoever did this left plenty of DNA back there. 343 00:15:12,003 --> 00:15:14,839 Boy, I hope you guys catch this psychopath. 344 00:15:16,007 --> 00:15:18,709 I mean, we don't know that she... 345 00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:22,913 Or, much more statistically likely, he... 346 00:15:22,948 --> 00:15:25,316 is a psychopath. 347 00:15:30,021 --> 00:15:32,289 Will, I am so worried about Jack. 348 00:15:32,324 --> 00:15:33,424 I came home to find nothing 349 00:15:33,458 --> 00:15:36,769 except for this beautiful bouquet of balloon elegance. 350 00:15:37,829 --> 00:15:39,563 Are those filled with gold flake? 351 00:15:39,598 --> 00:15:42,733 Yes. He spares no expense. 352 00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:44,435 We had a fight at Ms. Coco's. 353 00:15:44,469 --> 00:15:45,836 He should be home by now. 354 00:15:45,871 --> 00:15:47,238 What happened? Why was he upset with you? 355 00:15:47,272 --> 00:15:49,673 I-I told him I thought it was time 356 00:15:49,708 --> 00:15:51,575 for him to grow up, 'cause he's almost 50, 357 00:15:51,610 --> 00:15:53,577 so I-I'm cutting him off. 358 00:15:53,612 --> 00:15:56,647 Will, 31 is not almost 50. 359 00:15:57,622 --> 00:15:59,917 And who would want Jack to grow up? 360 00:15:59,951 --> 00:16:03,254 Will, sit down. You know what? 361 00:16:03,288 --> 00:16:08,158 In Spain, we have a story of a boy who is like Jack 362 00:16:08,193 --> 00:16:11,704 who never grew up, and he wears tights. 363 00:16:13,565 --> 00:16:15,032 Yeah. It's "Peter Pan." 364 00:16:15,066 --> 00:16:16,267 No. 365 00:16:16,301 --> 00:16:19,303 In our version, this "forever boy" 366 00:16:19,337 --> 00:16:23,091 fights with a pirate who has a hook for a hand, 367 00:16:23,834 --> 00:16:27,737 and his best friend is a teeny, tiny fairy. 368 00:16:28,179 --> 00:16:29,480 That's "Peter Pan." 369 00:16:29,514 --> 00:16:33,183 No, no, Pedro escapes to Nunca Nunca Land... 370 00:16:33,218 --> 00:16:35,886 Right, that... so... 371 00:16:35,921 --> 00:16:38,289 that means he escaped to Never Never Land. 372 00:16:38,323 --> 00:16:39,223 It's "Peter Pan." 373 00:16:39,257 --> 00:16:40,650 You are wrong. 374 00:16:41,194 --> 00:16:42,893 But that is not the point, okay? 375 00:16:42,928 --> 00:16:45,729 The point is, Jack should never grow up. 376 00:16:45,764 --> 00:16:47,898 He reminds all the people around him 377 00:16:47,933 --> 00:16:50,701 how it feels to be young. 378 00:16:50,735 --> 00:16:51,869 Can't argue with you there. 379 00:16:51,903 --> 00:16:53,537 It's just like Pedro says, 380 00:16:54,873 --> 00:16:57,125 "I won't grow up!" That's "Peter Pan." 381 00:16:58,289 --> 00:17:00,924 Mi amor, you have returned. How are your eyes? 382 00:17:00,949 --> 00:17:03,050 My vision is perfect. 383 00:17:03,075 --> 00:17:05,477 And I feel like I'm seeing your beautiful face 384 00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:07,470 for the very first time. 385 00:17:07,619 --> 00:17:09,929 Oh, my God, Camilla! 386 00:17:10,956 --> 00:17:12,723 I loved your hat at Harry's wedding. 387 00:17:12,757 --> 00:17:15,893 What was that, pheasant? 388 00:17:15,927 --> 00:17:17,761 - Jack, listen... - No, no, no, no. 389 00:17:17,796 --> 00:17:19,782 Just let me go first. 390 00:17:19,782 --> 00:17:22,016 I realized something when I was out there. 391 00:17:22,050 --> 00:17:23,594 I... 392 00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:26,487 I do need to grow up. 393 00:17:26,522 --> 00:17:28,589 And I'm gonna start by paying you back 394 00:17:28,624 --> 00:17:30,425 every penny you've ever given me. 395 00:17:30,459 --> 00:17:33,861 I'll get some boring job in an office. 396 00:17:33,896 --> 00:17:36,956 You know, we can eat at the Cheesecake Factory. 397 00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:40,935 And then see each other at the fantasy football draft. 398 00:17:40,969 --> 00:17:42,545 Oh, well... 399 00:17:46,308 --> 00:17:48,342 I don't want you to grow up. 400 00:17:48,377 --> 00:17:50,278 Your innocence, your love of life, 401 00:17:50,312 --> 00:17:53,973 the fact that you still write your name in your underwear, 402 00:17:55,818 --> 00:17:57,919 that's what I get out of this friendship. 403 00:17:57,953 --> 00:17:59,770 You can't put a price on that. 404 00:18:03,826 --> 00:18:06,294 You know, listening to you just now, 405 00:18:06,328 --> 00:18:08,529 it really sounds... 406 00:18:08,564 --> 00:18:11,240 like you owe me money. 407 00:18:12,167 --> 00:18:13,634 Jack, don't be greedy. 408 00:18:13,669 --> 00:18:15,303 You know, in Spain, we have a story 409 00:18:15,337 --> 00:18:19,974 of two very sugar-obsessed children who go into the woods, 410 00:18:20,008 --> 00:18:22,410 and they find a woman's house, and then they eat it. 411 00:18:22,444 --> 00:18:23,544 That's "Hansel and Gretel." 412 00:18:23,579 --> 00:18:25,313 No, in our version, 413 00:18:25,347 --> 00:18:27,648 the children eat a home that is made of... 414 00:18:28,769 --> 00:18:30,084 Yeah, gingerbread. It's "Hansel"... 415 00:18:30,118 --> 00:18:32,637 I'm not doing this with you anymore. 416 00:18:33,422 --> 00:18:35,890 Oh, uh, Will, one more thing. 417 00:18:35,924 --> 00:18:37,124 How much do you need? 418 00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:38,768 No, not that. 419 00:18:40,095 --> 00:18:42,521 Thank you for... 420 00:18:43,198 --> 00:18:44,774 everything. 421 00:18:47,936 --> 00:18:49,570 Will, I'm gonna buy you the book. 422 00:18:49,605 --> 00:18:53,941 It's written by a woman who is a mother who is also a duck. 423 00:18:53,976 --> 00:18:56,844 "Mother Goose." Get out of here. 424 00:18:56,879 --> 00:18:58,913 Uh, may I speak with you a moment? 425 00:18:58,947 --> 00:19:00,348 Just, uh, woman to woman. 426 00:19:00,382 --> 00:19:01,682 Sure. 427 00:19:01,717 --> 00:19:03,484 Um, I see that you are not wearing a ring. 428 00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:05,086 - Are you single? - I am. 429 00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:08,022 Yeah, so you know what it's like out there dating. 430 00:19:08,056 --> 00:19:11,125 You know the hoops that you jump through 431 00:19:11,159 --> 00:19:13,861 in order to seem better than you really are, 432 00:19:13,896 --> 00:19:16,697 the things you hide in order to seem like a lady. 433 00:19:16,732 --> 00:19:18,032 Oh, no, honey. 434 00:19:18,066 --> 00:19:20,167 See, I think that that type of disingenuousness 435 00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:22,853 is a bad foundation for a relationship. 436 00:19:23,739 --> 00:19:25,039 Sure, sure. 437 00:19:25,073 --> 00:19:27,141 But what if you spent the night with a guy, 438 00:19:27,175 --> 00:19:29,377 and in the morning, you did something 439 00:19:29,411 --> 00:19:32,780 so unappealing... 440 00:19:32,814 --> 00:19:37,118 that you went to extremes to make it all go away? 441 00:19:37,152 --> 00:19:38,953 I think I'm getting the picture. 442 00:19:38,987 --> 00:19:41,722 I know that you have to "investigate," 443 00:19:41,757 --> 00:19:44,692 but maybe this just winds up 444 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:48,696 in the file stamped "unsolved." 445 00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:49,730 You feel me? 446 00:19:49,765 --> 00:19:51,465 I think I do. 447 00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:53,167 Hey, Joe, we can wrap it up here. 448 00:19:53,201 --> 00:19:54,502 Oh, God bless you. 449 00:19:54,536 --> 00:19:56,571 See, there's no crime here. 450 00:19:56,605 --> 00:19:59,307 This one took a brutal dump in the john. 451 00:20:01,410 --> 00:20:04,729 The rest of this damage is just part of her cover-up. 452 00:20:05,447 --> 00:20:07,048 Let's go. 453 00:20:15,290 --> 00:20:16,724 So... 454 00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:20,861 this is kind of like that lovely moment in "Evita" 455 00:20:20,896 --> 00:20:24,373 when she asks, "Where do we go from here?" 456 00:20:26,101 --> 00:20:27,935 What? 457 00:20:27,970 --> 00:20:30,104 We are not going anywhere. 458 00:20:30,138 --> 00:20:32,923 There is no coming back from this. 459 00:20:33,742 --> 00:20:35,876 You lied, you let me call the police, 460 00:20:35,911 --> 00:20:37,411 you ruined my apartment! 461 00:20:37,446 --> 00:20:39,747 Oh, but I-I can help you with that last one, 462 00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:42,058 because you know I'm an interior designer. 463 00:20:42,818 --> 00:20:44,352 You want me to hire you? 464 00:20:44,386 --> 00:20:48,556 Naturally, I wouldn't charge full markup. 465 00:20:48,590 --> 00:20:50,891 And I thought that sleeping with my father and my son 466 00:20:50,926 --> 00:20:52,460 was the worst thing that you could do. 467 00:20:52,494 --> 00:20:54,653 I'm full of surprises. 468 00:20:55,931 --> 00:20:57,898 Just stop, Grace. 469 00:20:59,768 --> 00:21:01,869 I'll see myself out. 470 00:21:03,505 --> 00:21:04,705 Um... 471 00:21:04,740 --> 00:21:06,119 I think this... this is yours. 472 00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:10,711 Oh, and this little... 473 00:21:10,746 --> 00:21:12,380 yep. 474 00:21:17,152 --> 00:21:18,653 Now you show up.