1
00:00:01,285 --> 00:00:07,532
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:07,728 --> 00:00:10,629
(whooshing)
3
00:00:10,664 --> 00:00:13,999
(static, trilling)
4
00:00:16,536 --> 00:00:19,839
(whooshing)
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00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,772
_
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Planet Express Discount Prisoner
Transfer at your service.
7
00:00:45,732 --> 00:00:48,166
Take a good look,
Dr. Brutaloff.
8
00:00:48,201 --> 00:00:51,937
This prison is where you'll be
spending your 300-year sentence.
9
00:00:51,971 --> 00:00:54,707
Yeah, until you're defrosted
and wake up refreshed,
10
00:00:54,741 --> 00:00:57,009
unaware of any time
having passed.
11
00:00:57,043 --> 00:00:59,945
He... he heard you!
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00:00:59,979 --> 00:01:03,716
Oh, please. It's probably just
the carbonite thawing slightly.
13
00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:05,050
Take him down to processing
14
00:01:05,084 --> 00:01:07,085
while I stay here
and get hooted at.
15
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:10,188
(whirring)
16
00:01:10,223 --> 00:01:12,357
Ooh, yeah, baby!
17
00:01:12,392 --> 00:01:14,993
Oh, stop.
18
00:01:18,164 --> 00:01:20,599
Fry, look!
19
00:01:20,634 --> 00:01:23,969
That's Silicon Red, the
universe's greatest folk singer!
20
00:01:24,003 --> 00:01:26,271
There's your wallet,
your guitar,
21
00:01:26,306 --> 00:01:27,973
and your gun.
22
00:01:28,007 --> 00:01:29,141
You're free to go.
23
00:01:29,175 --> 00:01:31,811
Ah, still cocked.
24
00:01:31,845 --> 00:01:33,946
So, he's a folk singer.
So what?
25
00:01:33,980 --> 00:01:35,948
So what? Have
you forgotten
26
00:01:35,982 --> 00:01:37,917
my lifelong dream of
being a folk singer...
27
00:01:37,951 --> 00:01:40,218
because I sure have
until right now.
28
00:01:40,253 --> 00:01:41,554
Silicon Red! Silicon Red!
29
00:01:41,588 --> 00:01:43,221
(panting)
30
00:01:43,256 --> 00:01:45,157
Hey, I have
a lifelong dream too.
31
00:01:45,191 --> 00:01:48,727
Of not being left alone
with a frozen supervillain.
32
00:01:48,762 --> 00:01:50,996
(screams) Don't try anything,
Dr. Brutaloff!
33
00:01:51,030 --> 00:01:52,164
I know karate.
34
00:01:53,299 --> 00:01:54,667
Aye-hyah!
35
00:01:54,701 --> 00:01:56,902
(guitar playing)
36
00:01:56,937 --> 00:02:00,238
♪ Then I shot him and stabbed
him and stole all his gold ♪
37
00:02:00,273 --> 00:02:05,611
♪ And I tried on his face
while his body turned cold ♪
38
00:02:05,645 --> 00:02:07,012
Lovely.
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00:02:07,046 --> 00:02:09,114
Just lovely.
40
00:02:09,148 --> 00:02:11,083
New topic. Can I have
your autograph,
41
00:02:11,117 --> 00:02:13,418
and also you tell me everything
you know about folk singing,
42
00:02:13,453 --> 00:02:15,287
and I'll take your guitar too?
43
00:02:15,321 --> 00:02:18,924
Old Salmonella? Son, I ought
to kill you for asking.
44
00:02:18,959 --> 00:02:21,794
We met doing hard time on
a Mississippi chain gang.
45
00:02:21,828 --> 00:02:24,296
And she'd been with me
through 30-odd convictions.
46
00:02:24,330 --> 00:02:27,466
30? You must be quite
a bungling lowlife.
47
00:02:27,501 --> 00:02:29,034
Anyhow, about the guitar.
48
00:02:29,068 --> 00:02:30,669
(clicks)
49
00:02:30,704 --> 00:02:33,639
Aw, come on! I can't be
a famous folk singer
50
00:02:33,673 --> 00:02:35,173
without a cool guitar.
51
00:02:35,208 --> 00:02:36,876
Can I at least get a photo?
52
00:02:36,910 --> 00:02:38,644
And before you answer that...
53
00:02:38,678 --> 00:02:40,679
(laughs) Now I'll
just have someone
54
00:02:40,714 --> 00:02:43,482
duplicate your guitar.
Thanks, sucker.
55
00:02:43,517 --> 00:02:46,819
(laughs) You're the
sucker, sucker. See...
56
00:02:46,853 --> 00:02:50,055
with all Salmonella and me been
through, her sound is unique.
57
00:02:50,089 --> 00:02:52,190
All your fancy technology
will never be able
58
00:02:52,225 --> 00:02:54,059
to copy this guitar.
59
00:02:54,093 --> 00:02:56,061
BEELER:
Using my fancy technology,
60
00:02:56,095 --> 00:02:58,664
I can make an exact copy
of this guitar.
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00:02:58,698 --> 00:02:59,999
Tell me, Dr. Beeler.
62
00:03:00,033 --> 00:03:02,134
- Will I need to threaten you?
- Not at all.
63
00:03:02,168 --> 00:03:04,904
You see, nowadays we can take
a unique and beautiful object,
64
00:03:04,938 --> 00:03:08,206
and easily reduce it to a
formula for mass production.
65
00:03:08,241 --> 00:03:10,743
I call the process
"science."
66
00:03:10,777 --> 00:03:12,578
I'll just need to locate
67
00:03:12,612 --> 00:03:14,580
that guitar image
on your file system.
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00:03:16,683 --> 00:03:18,517
(giggles)
69
00:03:22,689 --> 00:03:24,690
Whoa, that's a lot of porn.
70
00:03:24,724 --> 00:03:26,358
Where'd you store
the guitar picture?
71
00:03:26,392 --> 00:03:27,526
I don't know.
72
00:03:27,561 --> 00:03:29,762
I mainly hang out in here.
73
00:03:33,533 --> 00:03:35,935
Ah-ha, your folk singing folder.
74
00:03:35,969 --> 00:03:38,236
I'll just double-kick on that.
75
00:03:38,271 --> 00:03:39,271
(grunts)
76
00:03:39,305 --> 00:03:41,106
Got it.
77
00:03:41,140 --> 00:03:44,877
Now I'll convert that guitar
image to a wire-frame model.
78
00:03:44,911 --> 00:03:46,545
There, like so.
79
00:03:46,580 --> 00:03:49,181
And send it wirelessly
to my 3D printer.
80
00:03:50,617 --> 00:03:51,951
(beeping)
81
00:04:00,794 --> 00:04:02,962
By laying down layer after layer
of nano-plastic,
82
00:04:02,996 --> 00:04:06,431
it can turn your wildest dreams
83
00:04:06,466 --> 00:04:07,766
into ordinary reality.
84
00:04:07,801 --> 00:04:10,035
Witchcraft! Sorcerer!
85
00:04:10,070 --> 00:04:11,103
Neat.
86
00:04:11,137 --> 00:04:13,472
So, how long will it take?
87
00:04:13,506 --> 00:04:15,074
Four or five hours.
88
00:04:15,108 --> 00:04:17,810
Shall we adjourn
to the porn folder?
89
00:04:24,183 --> 00:04:27,987
I call my new guitar Bender Mae
because Bender may be
90
00:04:28,021 --> 00:04:30,322
the greatest folk singer
of all time!
91
00:04:30,356 --> 00:04:31,890
It looks pretty authentic.
92
00:04:31,925 --> 00:04:33,458
You bet it's authentic.
See this scratch?
93
00:04:33,493 --> 00:04:36,261
I tell people she got it
while I was doing hard time
94
00:04:36,295 --> 00:04:37,930
with a New Hampshire
chain gang.
95
00:04:37,964 --> 00:04:39,632
FRY: I have
a scratch too.
96
00:04:39,666 --> 00:04:42,234
From where Dr. Brutaloff slashed
me with his finger knives,
97
00:04:42,268 --> 00:04:44,503
right after he thawed
out of his carbonite,
98
00:04:44,537 --> 00:04:46,739
and right before he froze me
in his carbonite
99
00:04:46,773 --> 00:04:51,243
because you deserted me.
100
00:04:51,277 --> 00:04:53,311
(groans)
101
00:04:53,346 --> 00:04:55,580
BENDER: Eh, you're always
getting frozen in stuff.
102
00:04:55,615 --> 00:04:57,516
It's your thing, man.
103
00:04:57,550 --> 00:05:00,452
Bender, you're not a folk singer
just 'cause you have a guitar.
104
00:05:00,486 --> 00:05:02,454
And a flannel shirt.
105
00:05:02,488 --> 00:05:05,090
I claim I won it
in a knife fight at J. Crew.
106
00:05:05,125 --> 00:05:07,492
It must be interesting
to win a knife fight.
107
00:05:07,527 --> 00:05:09,261
I wouldn't know.
108
00:05:09,295 --> 00:05:12,798
The point is... do you even
know any actual folk songs?
109
00:05:12,832 --> 00:05:15,668
(scoffs) Actual folk songs
are all public domain.
110
00:05:15,702 --> 00:05:16,935
Where's the money in that?
111
00:05:16,970 --> 00:05:18,436
I'll just make up my own.
112
00:05:18,471 --> 00:05:20,873
But, robot, you can't
just make up folk songs
113
00:05:20,907 --> 00:05:23,008
like you can a medical diploma.
114
00:05:23,043 --> 00:05:24,843
They have to come
from the heart.
115
00:05:24,878 --> 00:05:26,679
Wrong again, Zoidberg.
116
00:05:26,713 --> 00:05:29,447
While you were yakking,
I downloaded every folk song
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00:05:29,482 --> 00:05:31,283
in the universe
and analyzed them.
118
00:05:31,317 --> 00:05:33,018
They're only
a few basic patterns.
119
00:05:33,053 --> 00:05:35,020
For example...
120
00:05:35,055 --> 00:05:37,956
36% of all folk-song heroes
work on a railroad
121
00:05:37,991 --> 00:05:40,059
and are named "Big" something.
122
00:05:40,093 --> 00:05:42,695
Next slide, please.
123
00:05:42,729 --> 00:05:45,530
75% of these big railroad men
have bad-hearted women
124
00:05:45,565 --> 00:05:47,465
who done them wrong,
125
00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:50,468
usually with a smooth-talking
rambler.
126
00:05:50,503 --> 00:05:52,004
There's a lot more,
but in the end,
127
00:05:52,038 --> 00:05:54,472
somebody kills somebody,
blah, blah, blah.
128
00:05:54,507 --> 00:05:57,710
♪ Somebody kills somebody,
blah, blah, blah ♪
129
00:05:57,744 --> 00:05:59,244
Catchy.
130
00:05:59,278 --> 00:06:00,679
Not what I meant,
but don't perform it
131
00:06:00,714 --> 00:06:02,715
without my permission!
Anyway...
132
00:06:02,749 --> 00:06:04,883
using this simple formula,
I can generate
133
00:06:04,918 --> 00:06:06,852
as many hit folk songs
as I want.
134
00:06:06,886 --> 00:06:08,486
All I need is an audience.
135
00:06:08,521 --> 00:06:11,590
And that's
where Silicon Red comes in.
136
00:06:11,624 --> 00:06:14,359
(folk guitar playing)
137
00:06:17,864 --> 00:06:21,166
(coughs) Man, all
this corncob pipe smoke
138
00:06:21,201 --> 00:06:23,268
is irritating my stab wounds.
139
00:06:23,302 --> 00:06:24,536
MAN:
Ladies and gentlemen,
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00:06:24,570 --> 00:06:26,404
I'm proud to present,
141
00:06:26,439 --> 00:06:29,942
fresh from another down-home
authentic prison term,
142
00:06:29,976 --> 00:06:32,911
the universe's greatest
folk singer,
143
00:06:32,946 --> 00:06:36,949
Silicon Red!
144
00:06:36,983 --> 00:06:38,183
Thank you.
145
00:06:40,787 --> 00:06:43,055
Silicon Red, everyone.
146
00:06:43,089 --> 00:06:44,522
(applause)
147
00:06:44,557 --> 00:06:46,792
(Silicon Red grunts)
148
00:06:46,826 --> 00:06:50,863
I'm Ramblin' Rodriguez, the new
greatest folk singer ever.
149
00:06:50,897 --> 00:06:52,798
And I'm gonna sing
my new masterpiece,
150
00:06:52,832 --> 00:06:56,568
"The Ballad of Me,
Ramblin' Rodriguez."
151
00:06:56,602 --> 00:06:58,370
♪ Well... ♪
152
00:06:58,404 --> 00:07:01,273
♪ My bad-hearted woman
loved a smooth-talking gambler ♪
153
00:07:01,307 --> 00:07:03,776
♪ So I ran him over
with my train ♪
154
00:07:03,810 --> 00:07:05,543
♪ Lord, Lord, yes, I ♪
155
00:07:05,578 --> 00:07:10,282
♪ Ran him over with my train! ♪
156
00:07:10,316 --> 00:07:14,253
That name again
is Ramblin' Rodriguez.
157
00:07:14,287 --> 00:07:17,022
(crowd boos)
158
00:07:19,292 --> 00:07:21,426
Why are they
booing me, Silicon?
159
00:07:21,460 --> 00:07:22,995
'Cause your song
was insincere, boy.
160
00:07:23,029 --> 00:07:25,330
Now, get out
and don't come back
161
00:07:25,364 --> 00:07:27,432
till you've lived a life
worth singing about.
162
00:07:27,466 --> 00:07:29,601
Yes, sir.
163
00:07:33,008 --> 00:07:35,610
_
164
00:07:38,444 --> 00:07:41,914
And don't go to prison.
That's my shtick!
165
00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:48,534
I failed at
my lifelong dream again.
166
00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:51,104
How can I be so bad
at everything I try
167
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:53,039
and still be so great?
168
00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:54,707
Bender, you have
a lovely baritone,
169
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:58,544
and you sure can strum
that plastic guitar,
170
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,113
but you can't write
a real folk song
171
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,382
about experiences
you haven't had.
172
00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:05,118
Yeah, you should write a song
about a heartless robot
173
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,919
who leaves his best friend
to be murdered.
174
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:09,989
Look, Leela, I'd love to write
about my own experiences...
175
00:08:10,024 --> 00:08:11,657
The heartless robot is Bender.
176
00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:12,892
The best friend is me.
177
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:15,161
How can you people be so blind?
178
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:18,498
But I've never picked cotton
or been on top of Old Smokey
179
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:20,900
or worked on anything
all the livelong day,
180
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,402
let alone a railroad.
181
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:24,637
Then go live among
the railroad men, why not?
182
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,572
You'll come to understand them,
183
00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:29,342
just as I now understand
the ape-men of Earth.
184
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,644
As stupid as
Zoidberg's idea is...
185
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,446
it's brilliant when I have it.
186
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,416
I'm off to the railroad
to become a folk singer.
187
00:08:43,723 --> 00:08:48,027
(humming)
188
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:58,837
Uh, I'm looking for the wrong
side of the tracks.
189
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,640
Then you've come to the right
side of the tracks.
190
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,276
Have a seat, stranger.
191
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:04,944
My name's Bender Rodriguez
192
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,447
and I want to learn
the railroading business.
193
00:09:07,481 --> 00:09:09,014
Big Caboose. I'm
a steel-driving man
194
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:12,518
working the trans-universal line.
195
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,853
Wow, you've had
the exact experiences
196
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,622
I want to steal for my song.
197
00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:18,491
Aw, heck, I'm nothing special.
198
00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:21,694
Just a down-home robot
with a big old hammer.
199
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,629
Hammer, that should
be easy to rhyme.
200
00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:26,332
- You done time in the slammer?
- Uh, nope.
201
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:28,301
- Been to Alabama?
- Sorry.
202
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:29,335
How's your grammar?
203
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:30,736
Praiseworthy.
204
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,778
_
205
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:42,381
Bender, meet Fast Frank Brogan.
206
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:45,851
Daredevil engineer dies
in the crash of Old '88.
207
00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:47,353
Dandy Jim and Gus.
208
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,822
Gentlemen hobos
with a story to tell.
209
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:52,325
I was got drunk
and ate my big toe.
210
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:53,659
Can't say I miss it.
211
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,194
And good old Cookie,
212
00:09:55,229 --> 00:09:58,397
the crusty comically inept
geological surveyor.
213
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:02,502
Jiggers! I dropped
my sexton in the stew.
214
00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:04,670
(train horn blows)
BENDER: ♪ Been up north ♪
215
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,038
(all grunt)
216
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:08,374
♪ Been down south ♪
(all grunt)
217
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,543
♪ Got a real weak back ♪
(all grunt)
218
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,911
♪ I got a real big mouth ♪
(all grunt)
219
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:13,979
(slurps)
220
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:21,020
So while Bender goofs off
at some railroad camp,
221
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:24,223
I have to deliver dynamite
to a railroad camp myself.
222
00:10:24,258 --> 00:10:26,259
And it's the same
railroad camp.
223
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:29,529
I mean, the irony is palpable.
224
00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:30,963
Oops.
225
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:32,431
Whoopsie.
226
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:33,832
My bad.
227
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:39,272
Dibs on the toes.
228
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,875
So how's it going with
the real-world experience?
229
00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:45,144
Have you found a railroad man
to write a song about?
230
00:10:45,179 --> 00:10:46,445
Yep, my good friend
231
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,613
Big Something here.
232
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:49,148
Uh, Caboose.
233
00:10:49,183 --> 00:10:50,616
I'm a steel-driving man,
234
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,885
and there ain't much more
to say about me.
235
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:54,420
Not till now there wasn't.
236
00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:59,058
♪ Well, Big Caboose was
a steel-drivin' son of a gun ♪
237
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:01,960
♪ Till a bad-hearted woman
he spied... ♪
238
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,296
But, Bender,
239
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,964
I never spied
no bad-hearted woman.
240
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,500
In my song
you did--
241
00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:10,503
a temptress named--
I don't know-- Jezebel.
242
00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:12,971
Wow, creativity's hard work.
243
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,840
(slurps loudly)
244
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:16,509
Ah.
245
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:18,177
You know my favorite
part of your song?
246
00:11:18,212 --> 00:11:20,946
The part where
it ended. (laughs)
247
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:23,782
Then, settle in, 'cause that's
about a half hour from now.
248
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:27,820
♪ Well, Jezebel's heart
did wander ♪
249
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:31,357
♪ When she saw
that ramblin' man ♪
250
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:34,760
♪ He was tall
and dark and shiny ♪
251
00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:37,763
♪ And a native Mexican. ♪
252
00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:40,766
That sleazy rambler sounds
an awful lot like you, Bender.
253
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,501
Hey, thanks for noticing.
254
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:45,338
Just for that, I'm gonna
slip you into the 57th verse.
255
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:48,341
You can be my best friend
who abandons me when I need you.
256
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,809
Now, that's a verse
we can all enjoy.
257
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,712
♪ Well, Rodriguez ran ♪
258
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:54,714
♪ To his best friend ♪
259
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:57,950
♪ Said, "Help me
or I'll surely be killed" ♪
260
00:11:57,984 --> 00:12:01,454
♪ Fry laughed and he said,
"You deserted me once ♪
261
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:04,657
♪ "Now it's your turn
to feel the chill, Lord, Lord ♪
262
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:08,861
♪ Now it's your turn
to feel the chill." ♪
263
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:13,466
You've accurately portrayed
the nature of my grievance.
264
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,001
(train whistle blows)
265
00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:21,840
♪ Big Caboose went lookin'
for Rodriguez ♪
266
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,842
♪ Straight
to New New York town ♪
267
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,711
♪ He cried... ♪
268
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:27,380
Bender, guess what.
269
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:30,750
I met a fabulous girl and
we're engaged to be hitched.
270
00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:32,050
That's great, Caboose.
271
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,519
Come on in and set a spell.
272
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:34,654
Aw, no time.
273
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:36,322
I got someplace to be.
274
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:37,923
See you soon, honeybunch.
275
00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:39,191
Okay, dumpling.
276
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,162
My man's gone, gone.
277
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:46,666
Oh, I'm so lonely and easy.
278
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,668
Oh.
279
00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:51,771
(both giggling)
280
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,038
BENDER (à la train whistle):
Whoo-whoo.
281
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:55,007
(both giggling)
282
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,045
Oh, yeah.
283
00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:02,581
This is definitely going
in the song.
284
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:06,251
♪ He cried, "Rambler,
you slept with my Jezebel." ♪
285
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,387
Hey, what's your name, anyhow?
286
00:13:08,422 --> 00:13:09,388
Jezebel.
287
00:13:09,423 --> 00:13:10,389
Oh, good, I won't have
288
00:13:10,424 --> 00:13:11,857
to change any words.
289
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:19,865
(yawns)
290
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:22,134
Yeah, you're right. It's getting late.
(turns off TV)
291
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:23,569
I'll get your coat.
292
00:13:24,738 --> 00:13:27,039
Oh, hey, Big Caboose.
293
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:28,607
What are you doing
here on Earth?
294
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:31,944
I'm here for to see
Ramblin' Rodriguez.
295
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,045
Well, he's at the
railroad camp.
296
00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:34,714
I know,
297
00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:38,718
but some strange force drew me
to New New York town.
298
00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:42,054
♪ That rambler slept
with my Jezebel ♪
299
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:45,891
♪ Now I'm comin' for
to shoot him down, Lord, Lord ♪
300
00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:50,128
♪ Comin' for
to shoot him down. ♪
301
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:54,299
Guess I'll go back
to the railroad camp now.
302
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:58,003
That's weird, he sounded a lot
like Bender's folk song.
303
00:13:58,037 --> 00:13:59,938
Not a lot
like Bender's folk song--
304
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:02,508
exactly like et cetera,
et cetera.
305
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,477
His song is coming
true somehow.
306
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:08,614
Oh, my God, reality is
infringing Bender's copyright.
307
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,184
♪ "I'm comin' for to
shoot you down." ♪
308
00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:13,819
No, wait.
309
00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:16,789
♪ "I'm comin' for
to run you down." ♪
310
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:17,956
With a train.
311
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:18,957
Get it?
312
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,459
(beeping)
313
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,365
(beeping)
314
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:39,645
It's over, Jezebel. Grab
your things and get out.
315
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:41,179
I didn't bring any things.
316
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,516
That's what I like
best about you, baby.
317
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,051
(train whistle blowing,
Bender screaming)
318
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,991
Rambler, you slept
with my Jezebel,
319
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:55,193
and I'm comin' for
to run you down, Lord, Lord.
320
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,662
♪ I'm comin' for ♪
321
00:14:56,696 --> 00:15:01,333
♪ To run you down. ♪
(whimpering)
322
00:15:03,816 --> 00:15:05,349
(grunting)
323
00:15:05,384 --> 00:15:07,118
(train whistle blows)
324
00:15:07,153 --> 00:15:08,452
(panting)
325
00:15:08,487 --> 00:15:10,254
(train whistle blowing)
326
00:15:16,095 --> 00:15:18,596
(panicked grunting)
327
00:15:38,918 --> 00:15:42,187
Fry, help, let me in.
328
00:15:42,221 --> 00:15:43,254
(yawns)
329
00:15:43,288 --> 00:15:44,522
Bender?
330
00:15:44,556 --> 00:15:46,557
What are you doing?
It's 3:00 a.m.
331
00:15:46,592 --> 00:15:48,226
I don't care if it's three B.M.
332
00:15:48,260 --> 00:15:49,327
Open up and hide me!
333
00:15:49,361 --> 00:15:51,329
I don't think so, Bender.
334
00:15:51,363 --> 00:15:52,731
You deserted me once,
335
00:15:52,765 --> 00:15:56,067
and now it's your turn
to "feel the chill."
336
00:15:56,102 --> 00:15:57,501
Ha!
337
00:15:57,536 --> 00:15:59,170
(train chugging)
338
00:15:59,205 --> 00:16:00,839
(train whistle blows)
339
00:16:00,873 --> 00:16:02,607
(screams)
340
00:16:02,641 --> 00:16:05,710
(screaming)
341
00:16:05,745 --> 00:16:07,045
(beeping)
342
00:16:07,079 --> 00:16:08,713
Breaker, breaker.
343
00:16:08,748 --> 00:16:09,848
Hola.
344
00:16:09,882 --> 00:16:11,249
(panting)
345
00:16:11,283 --> 00:16:12,917
Professor, help.
346
00:16:12,952 --> 00:16:15,220
The hero of my folk song
tried to run me down,
347
00:16:15,254 --> 00:16:17,388
and Fry refused to save me.
348
00:16:17,422 --> 00:16:19,924
- That doesn't sound like me.
- Fry?
349
00:16:19,959 --> 00:16:22,460
But you just--
eh, I'll figure it out later.
350
00:16:22,494 --> 00:16:25,263
But first I'll kill you!
(yells)
351
00:16:25,297 --> 00:16:27,198
(both grunting)
Bender, stop.
352
00:16:27,233 --> 00:16:29,200
We've been trying
to warn you all night.
353
00:16:29,235 --> 00:16:31,535
You didn't answer
your cell phone telephone,
354
00:16:31,570 --> 00:16:33,537
so the Professor tried his CB.
355
00:16:33,572 --> 00:16:35,573
Uh, scratch that,
Rubber Turkey.
356
00:16:35,607 --> 00:16:37,776
We got a 20 on the tin man.
357
00:16:37,810 --> 00:16:39,944
Toodle-oo.
358
00:16:39,979 --> 00:16:43,314
But Fry betrayed me
at our apartment!
359
00:16:43,348 --> 00:16:44,883
Just like in your folk song.
360
00:16:44,917 --> 00:16:46,885
Somehow everything
you sang about
361
00:16:46,919 --> 00:16:48,887
is happening in real life.
362
00:16:48,921 --> 00:16:50,388
(gasps)
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
363
00:16:50,422 --> 00:16:52,257
Are you saying
that guy at the apartment
364
00:16:52,291 --> 00:16:54,492
was some kind
of exact copy of Fry?
365
00:16:54,526 --> 00:16:55,927
'Cause that's crazy.
366
00:16:55,961 --> 00:16:57,962
He's a unique and
beautiful object.
367
00:16:57,997 --> 00:16:58,963
(gasps)
368
00:16:58,998 --> 00:17:00,364
The printer.
369
00:17:02,668 --> 00:17:05,403
Oh, I must have left
the wireless connection
370
00:17:05,437 --> 00:17:07,672
to your folk song
directory open.
371
00:17:07,706 --> 00:17:09,340
Everything you wrote
in the song got routed
372
00:17:09,374 --> 00:17:11,342
straight to the 3-D printer.
373
00:17:11,376 --> 00:17:14,145
Big Caboose,
duplicate Fry, even Cookie
374
00:17:14,180 --> 00:17:16,981
the crusty, comically inept
geological surveyor--
375
00:17:17,016 --> 00:17:18,950
they're all made
of nano-plastic.
376
00:17:18,984 --> 00:17:21,252
So, if Bender had sung
about, I don't know,
377
00:17:21,287 --> 00:17:23,354
some crazy giant land
octopus attacking me,
378
00:17:23,388 --> 00:17:25,589
it would have
actually happened?
379
00:17:25,624 --> 00:17:29,360
(blows raspberry) I can't even
imagine singing about such a thing.
380
00:17:29,394 --> 00:17:31,296
♪ Well... ♪
381
00:17:31,330 --> 00:17:33,131
(beeping)
Fry, run.
382
00:17:33,165 --> 00:17:35,934
Aw, relax, Beeler's
stupid machine takes hours
383
00:17:35,968 --> 00:17:36,935
to print anything.
384
00:17:36,969 --> 00:17:38,436
No, it doesn't.
385
00:17:38,470 --> 00:17:41,172
I improved it
using fancy modern technology.
386
00:17:41,207 --> 00:17:43,041
(growling)
387
00:17:43,075 --> 00:17:45,643
(Fry screaming)
388
00:17:49,648 --> 00:17:52,116
Bender, whatever you do,
389
00:17:52,151 --> 00:17:55,786
don't think about
any more octopuses.
390
00:17:55,821 --> 00:17:57,388
Octopuses?
391
00:17:57,422 --> 00:18:01,559
I believe the correct plural
is octopi.
392
00:18:01,593 --> 00:18:03,895
(all screaming)
393
00:18:03,929 --> 00:18:08,032
I'm sorry.
"Octopuses" is also acceptable.
394
00:18:08,067 --> 00:18:10,301
Think about puppies, Bender,
395
00:18:10,336 --> 00:18:12,136
cute, harmless, dead puppies.
396
00:18:12,171 --> 00:18:14,973
Don't worry. I'll disconnect
him from the printer.
397
00:18:15,007 --> 00:18:18,042
No, wait, I know how to save
Bender from Big Caboose.
398
00:18:18,077 --> 00:18:20,211
(train whistle blows,
Bender shudders)
399
00:18:20,246 --> 00:18:22,646
All he has to do is write
his way out of this mess,
400
00:18:22,681 --> 00:18:25,350
and the 3-D printer
will make it happen.
401
00:18:25,384 --> 00:18:26,351
Like how?
402
00:18:26,385 --> 00:18:27,718
Well, I don't know.
403
00:18:27,753 --> 00:18:30,721
Make up another giant octopus
and have it kill Big Caboose.
404
00:18:30,756 --> 00:18:32,323
What kind of lazy ending
is that?
405
00:18:32,358 --> 00:18:34,558
I'm not gonna put that
in my song.
406
00:18:34,593 --> 00:18:35,593
Hey, I have a cool idea.
407
00:18:35,627 --> 00:18:37,495
Create a duplicate Bender,
408
00:18:37,529 --> 00:18:41,065
so when Big Caboose kills it,
it's not real, it's duplicate.
409
00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:43,701
Ooh, ooh, they did that
on Star Trek, TNG.
410
00:18:43,735 --> 00:18:45,169
Cram it, nerd.
411
00:18:45,204 --> 00:18:46,204
I'm not going to just copy
412
00:18:46,238 --> 00:18:48,339
some feel-good
TV show wrap-up.
413
00:18:48,374 --> 00:18:50,008
(train chugs, whistle blows)
414
00:18:50,042 --> 00:18:52,110
I can think of a hundred
endings that'll save you.
415
00:18:52,144 --> 00:18:53,411
Just pick one.
416
00:18:53,445 --> 00:18:56,680
No, Dr. Beeler,
I won't just pick one.
417
00:18:56,715 --> 00:19:00,584
My audience deserves better than
some crappy, formulaic ending.
418
00:19:00,619 --> 00:19:02,086
If I must die,
419
00:19:02,121 --> 00:19:05,790
let me die in a blaze
of artistic integrity.
420
00:19:06,926 --> 00:19:08,826
♪ Well... ♪
421
00:19:13,265 --> 00:19:16,700
(strumming guitar) _
422
00:19:16,735 --> 00:19:19,904
♪ Then the steel-drivin' man ♪
423
00:19:19,939 --> 00:19:22,573
♪ Rammed his train
through the wall ♪
424
00:19:22,607 --> 00:19:26,744
♪ And crushed him flatter
than a MacBook Air, Lord, Lord ♪
425
00:19:26,778 --> 00:19:31,715
♪ Crushed him flatter
than a MacBook Air. ♪
426
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:33,918
BENDER: ♪ But while you
were all out fighting ♪
427
00:19:33,953 --> 00:19:35,619
♪ With the giant
plastic octopi ♪
428
00:19:35,654 --> 00:19:37,956
♪ I copied myself, you see... ♪
429
00:19:37,990 --> 00:19:39,257
(gasping) - Bender!
- Bender!
430
00:19:39,291 --> 00:19:40,658
♪ And I cowered
in the bathroom ♪
431
00:19:40,692 --> 00:19:42,460
♪ While that steel-drivin'
moron ♪
432
00:19:42,494 --> 00:19:45,296
♪ Killed a duplicate
instead of me ♪
433
00:19:45,331 --> 00:19:47,131
- ♪ Lord, lord ♪
- ♪ Killed a duplicate ♪
434
00:19:47,166 --> 00:19:50,734
♪ Instead of me. ♪
435
00:19:50,769 --> 00:19:53,338
(clamoring)
436
00:19:53,372 --> 00:19:55,473
Now, that's what I call
a great ending.
437
00:19:55,507 --> 00:19:59,310
I made a copy of myself
and Big Caboose killed him.
438
00:19:59,345 --> 00:20:00,811
But you said making
a copy of yourself
439
00:20:00,846 --> 00:20:02,746
would be a lousy ending.
440
00:20:02,781 --> 00:20:05,583
No, duplicate me said that.
441
00:20:05,617 --> 00:20:06,951
See, I had to be sure
he wouldn't try
442
00:20:06,986 --> 00:20:08,319
and weasel out of getting killed
443
00:20:08,354 --> 00:20:10,154
like I would and did,
444
00:20:10,189 --> 00:20:13,458
so I created him with a tragic
weakness, artistic integrity.
445
00:20:13,492 --> 00:20:14,925
Of course.
446
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,794
How could we have thought
a guy with integrity
447
00:20:16,828 --> 00:20:18,762
was you even for a second?
448
00:20:18,797 --> 00:20:20,798
Because you're idiots.
449
00:20:20,832 --> 00:20:23,634
Come on, Silicon Red,
let's sell out.
450
00:20:23,668 --> 00:20:26,804
(hip-hop playing)
451
00:20:30,809 --> 00:20:32,877
♪ I'm the real Rodriguez,
will you please stand up? ♪
452
00:20:32,911 --> 00:20:34,145
♪ He been workin'
on the railroad ♪
453
00:20:34,179 --> 00:20:35,713
♪ Ladies can't get enough ♪
454
00:20:35,747 --> 00:20:38,449
♪ I made a 3-D version
of my worst nightmare ♪
455
00:20:38,484 --> 00:20:40,851
♪ Sucker tried to stop the
printer, and I found him there ♪
456
00:20:40,886 --> 00:20:43,454
♪ Went 187 on his robot ass ♪
457
00:20:43,489 --> 00:20:45,956
♪ Turned out to be
a copy of my robot ass ♪
458
00:20:45,991 --> 00:20:48,393
♪ Now we're folk-singin' players
packin' Beaujolais ♪
459
00:20:48,427 --> 00:20:51,496
♪ And makin' max contributions
to our 401K. ♪
460
00:20:51,530 --> 00:20:52,796
ALL:
Peace out.
461
00:20:52,831 --> 00:20:54,732
(microphones feed back,
crowd cheering)
462
00:20:58,733 --> 00:21:00,700
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com