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Encoded by Hunter
Crazy4TV.com
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B E N D E RI "Free Beer"?
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(PANTING)
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Free beer. Free beer.
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Free beer. Free beer.
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Free beer, beer, beer, beer, beer,
beer, beer, beer, beer, beer!
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Free...
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(SQUAWKING)
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(GRUNTS)
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(SCREAMING)
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Ah!
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Hello. I'm here
for the free beer.
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You got it.
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Right after these
800 people get it.
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(CHATTERING)
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Beer, beer-beer, beer, beer.
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(FANFARE PLAYING)
Beer?
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Ah... yeah!
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Thank you,
Headless Clone of Agnew.
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My fellow Earthicans,
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I'm proud to announce
I'm running for reelection
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as president of Earth, the
greatest planet in the world.
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ALL: Yeah!
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Is everyone enjoying
their free beer?
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ALL: Yeah!
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Well, there's plenty more
where that came from.
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We're all out of beer.
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All right, listen up, nitwits.
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Who here is tired of illegal space
aliens taking our good Earth jobs?
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(CROWD CHEERING)
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Me, too.
So, if I'm reelected,
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I promise to build
a really big Dyson fence
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across the southern border
of our solar system.
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(CHEERING)
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00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:04,584
And furthermore, by golly, I
promise to cut taxes for the rich
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and use the poor as a cheap source
of teeth for aquarium gravel.
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Yeah!
That'll show those poor!
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Why are you cheering, Fry?
You're not rich.
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True, but someday
I might be rich.
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And then people like me better
watch their step. (snens)
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Let's just find Bender.
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Ah, that hit the spot.
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I found Bender!
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Good news, everyone.
(STUTTERS)
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What?
I've repaired myself
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with these convenient "Reeleot
Nixon" ass stickers. Go, Nixon!
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Bender, you can't even vote.
You're a convicted felon.
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Convicted, sentenced
and executed.
49
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But Nixon passed a law that
says ex-cons can vote again
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as long as they vote for Nixon.
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00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:56,886
But Nixon's the worst president
in history and alternate history.
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The rest of you aren't
voting for him, are you?
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Sure, we are!
Why not?
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He may not be perfect,
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but do we really want
some unknown new guy?
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I'll stick with the evil
maniac I know, thank you.
57
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,774
Well, I think we can do better.
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This year, I'm going to get
involved in the political process
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and make my voice heard.
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What?
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Welcome to Debate 3012,
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the 3,012th debate
of the 3012 election year.
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We have a crowded
field of candidates,
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so I will dispense with
the informal terrorizing
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and begin the questions.
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Is this the political process?
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'Cause I'm here to
get involved in it.
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SHence!
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Question one. Will you pledge
today to somehow reduce taxes
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while simultaneously
lowering the deficit?
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00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,940
Hey, that's a good idea. Sure.
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If it'll win me
the election, then yes.
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00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:56,320
We have a saying up in Alaska.
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That's all.
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Senator Travers?
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00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:03,453
Look, let's be honest here.
No one likes taxes,
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but they pay for our basic needs.
Roads, schools, defense.
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If we hope to realize our
aspirations as a great planet,
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we must each pay our fair share
to achieve those noble goals.
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(ALL BOOING)
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00:04:23,181 --> 00:04:25,850
Thank you, Senator. A
thoughtful and lucid answer.
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00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,643
You will be destroyed!
83
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Question two. The environment.
Yes or no?
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00:04:31,022 --> 00:04:32,648
No. It's junk science.
85
00:04:32,732 --> 00:04:34,776
Two words.
Condor attack.
86
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Don't want that.
Got to say no.
87
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Now, just a minute.
These are important issues.
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We can't just
reduce them to sound bytes.
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(ALL BOOING)
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According to
reputable scientists...
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(ALL BOOING)
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Enviromite!
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(ALL CHEERING)
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Hello? I'd like to volunteer.
Is anyone lurking?
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(GRUNTING)
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00:05:05,765 --> 00:05:07,308
Hey, stop that.
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Senator Travers?
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00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:12,104
That's no way
to win an election.
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(SIGHS) I give up. No one
cares about my message.
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00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:18,694
I never should have used the
same PR guy as One Hour Hot Dog.
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People will wait
for something good.
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No, don't quit.
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You have great ideas.
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You just need to get them out
there with social media.
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(BEEP S)
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Look, I posted your
debate video on Faoebag.
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10,000 views?
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That's more than most
water-skiing squirrels get.
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You really think
I have a chance?
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Absolutely.
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We just need to
conceal your intelligence
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and honesty in a hipper,
dumber package.
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Well, what have I got to lose?
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I'm making you
my new campaign manager.
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You, out!
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You haven't heard the last of...
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(LINDA READING)
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As the Iowa caucus approaches,
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the state's hippest citizens turned
out for an old-fashioned flash mob.
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MORBO: Chris Travers got a bump
in the New Hampshire polls today,
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where he simuldined in 250
diners at once via hologram.
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This pie at this diner
is the best pie.
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(ALL CHEERING)
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LINDA: Chris Travers wins the
South California primary handily,
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thanks to a series of
well-placed cameo appearances.
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MORBO: Super Tuesday
is in the books,
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with Eurasia, Australia and Kentucky
turning out in big numbers.
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With the race a dead heat,
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it's all come down to a final
tally at the convention.
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(CROWD CHEERING)
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CALCULON:
And the first runner-up,
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who will take over if the nominee is
caught with a dead girl, a live boy
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or any kind of sexy ghost,
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Mr. Greenland!
(GASPS)
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(CROWD APPLAUDING)
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Which means
our nominee is the senator
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from the nation-state of Hawaii,
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Chris Travers!
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(CROWD CHEERING)
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He won the nomination!
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We, the people, did it!
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It wasn't "we, the people,"
it was you, the mutant.
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Your insightful nagging
really won us over.
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Yeah. You explained
his positions
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in a way even
an idiot could understand.
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And that appealed to me,
for whatever reason.
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Thanks, guys, but we have a
lot of work ahead of us.
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If we're going
to win the election,
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we've all got to get involved.
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You said it!
That's right.
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If you want my opinion,
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Nixon's only chance
to defeat Travers
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is with filthy lies,
dirty tricks
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and good old Quaker thuggery.
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And I'm just
the guy for the job.
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(LAUGHS)
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(BOTH LAUGHING)
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(BOTH HOWLING)
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I'm not sure if it's safe to talk.
Are you wearing a wire?
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I'm 40% wire.
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Excellent. Now, listen.
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We got to get some dirt
on this Travers guy.
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Really McGovern him up.
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You know who
McGovern was, right?
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I don't even know who you are.
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Hello, dirt.
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I'll start at "N"
for nude pictures.
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Aw, Nobel Prize?
That's no good.
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How about "A" for adultery?
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What?
Straight-A transcript?
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(DOOR OPENS) TRAVERS: Hey,
what's that rifling sound?
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Uh-oh. (GULPS)
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(MOANS)
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(UNZIPPING)
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All right. I'm going to
catch Travers on video
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00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:04,795
at this sleazy strip club.
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BENDER: In and out of the club
13 times in one night.
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That's a record.
Where's Travers?
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00:09:11,135 --> 00:09:12,928
All I see is you
going in and out.
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00:09:13,012 --> 00:09:14,638
Yeah, me.
I set the record.
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00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:15,931
(SCOFFS)
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00:09:16,015 --> 00:09:19,143
This is as useless as those
pictures you photoshopped.
183
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,854
Look, just give me one more ohanoe.
I got a source.
184
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Well, you did manage to get
a tremendous urine sample.
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00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:28,110
Let's not talk about that.
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00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:35,201
(METAL CLAN KS)
187
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Is that you, Big Throat?
188
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,287
In the flesh. (GIGGLES)
189
00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:41,624
Listen, I need some dirt
on Senator Chris Travers.
190
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,084
How quaint.
191
00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:48,214
Butlsuppose I should do my part
for political intercourse.
192
00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:51,634
Come closer,
and I'll expose what I know.
193
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:53,677
There's nothing.
194
00:09:53,928 --> 00:09:56,764
He's as clean as
a freshly waxed buttock.
195
00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:58,933
Hey! Did you put
your tongue in my ear?
196
00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:01,352
Certainly not.
I don't have a tongue.
197
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:03,437
Oh, good.
'Cause I don't have an ear.
198
00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:04,897
(CHITTERING)
199
00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:07,608
Come on, come on, fall.
200
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:09,443
Fall, damn it, fall!
(DOOR OPENS)
201
00:10:10,111 --> 00:10:11,612
Well?
What did you get on Travers?
202
00:10:11,821 --> 00:10:14,949
Is he a draft dodger?
Sex offender? Sex dodger?
203
00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:16,534
Nada. He's clean.
204
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:19,161
I'm sorry, but there's
not one unusual thing
205
00:10:19,245 --> 00:10:21,539
about Senator
Chris Zaxxar Travers.
206
00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:24,500
Wait, wait.
His middle name is Zaxxar?
207
00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:26,043
Sounds kind of alien.
208
00:10:26,127 --> 00:10:27,294
The voters hate aliens.
209
00:10:27,545 --> 00:10:30,339
They sure do, but this guy's
as human as you or me.
210
00:10:31,132 --> 00:10:34,677
I don't care what he is. We'll
start a rumor that he's an alien.
211
00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:36,971
Hey, yeah.
That'll cost him votes.
212
00:10:37,096 --> 00:10:39,140
Then, when he says
he was born on this planet,
213
00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:41,392
we make him cough up
his Earth certificate.
214
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,602
Keep it on the news,
put him on the defensive.
215
00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:49,066
Oh, this is sneaky. I feel
a jowl movement coming on.
216
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,943
(HOWLING)
217
00:10:52,153 --> 00:10:54,196
And that's how you end hunger.
218
00:10:54,572 --> 00:10:55,823
Does anyone have any questions?
219
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,992
I do, I do! Me, Bender!
220
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,744
Yes, the robot with the
megaphone jumping up and down.
221
00:11:01,162 --> 00:11:06,167
I have a question for
Senator C. Zaxxar Travers.
222
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:07,293
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
223
00:11:08,961 --> 00:11:11,005
Tell me, Zaxxar,
224
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:13,340
were you even born on Earth?
225
00:11:13,424 --> 00:11:16,260
Becausethe Earth
constitution clearly states
226
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:19,388
that only people born on
Earth can be president.
227
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:21,849
Isn't that right,
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg?
228
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:24,268
You Ruth Bader believe it!
229
00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:25,644
But I...
230
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,521
Of course I was born on Earth.
231
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,190
Oh, really?
232
00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:32,610
Then we voters demand you
release your Earth certificate
233
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:34,486
so I can then claim it's a fake.
234
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:37,531
I'm not going to dignify
this preposterous charge.
235
00:11:37,615 --> 00:11:39,283
Are there any realquesflons?
236
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,535
Scoop Chang,
Fox Quote-Unquote News.
237
00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:43,287
Senator, in the last 10 seconds,
238
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,664
I've heard reports you weren't
actually born on Earth.
239
00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:47,374
Care to evade these
compelling charges?
240
00:11:47,625 --> 00:11:49,293
No. I mean, yes.
241
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,628
I mean... (GROANS)
242
00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:56,467
Okay, let's nip this
Earther movement in the bud
243
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,135
by releasing your
Earth certificate.
244
00:11:58,219 --> 00:11:59,220
Where were you born?
245
00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:01,138
Our Lady of Patriotism Hospital.
246
00:12:01,347 --> 00:12:03,307
Patriotism, good.
Where is it?
247
00:12:03,641 --> 00:12:05,559
Kenya.
Cradle of humanity.
248
00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:09,355
Leela, this is just a stupid
distraction from the issues.
249
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,358
Please don't look for
my Earth certificate.
250
00:12:12,650 --> 00:12:14,860
Hey! That was
my favorite window.
251
00:12:14,944 --> 00:12:16,528
I better see what they want.
252
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,572
(CHANTING)
We want an Earthling,
253
00:12:18,656 --> 00:12:20,783
not a dirty space thing!
254
00:12:20,866 --> 00:12:22,493
Why are you rednecks doing this?
255
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,245
Leela, don't stereotype.
256
00:12:24,662 --> 00:12:26,455
Why are you yokels doing this?
257
00:12:26,664 --> 00:12:29,458
I may be just
a backwoods septic tank,
258
00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:32,419
but I've had it up to here
with you foreigners.
259
00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:34,296
But I come from Earth.
260
00:12:34,505 --> 00:12:37,132
Then show us your
Earth whatchacallit.
261
00:12:37,341 --> 00:12:40,719
Long-form certificate of live birth.
(snczns)
262
00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:42,763
What would it take
to convince you people?
263
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,974
Would I have to have been born
right before your eyes?
264
00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:46,433
It wouldn't hurts.
265
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:47,768
Hit it, rubes!
266
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,853
(CHANTING)
We don't want a foreigner!
267
00:12:49,979 --> 00:12:51,814
We want someone born here!
268
00:12:52,523 --> 00:12:54,233
Eh, I'm still
working on that one.
269
00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:55,943
(GROANS)
270
00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:57,319
What's wrong with you?
271
00:12:57,403 --> 00:13:00,239
Why are you sabotaging a
decent, honest candidate?
272
00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:03,492
'Cause they won't let me near
the Hoover Dam anymore. Ooh!
273
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,661
What a bunch of xenophobes.
274
00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:08,163
It's time to find Senator
Travers' Earth certificate
275
00:13:08,247 --> 00:13:09,832
and put an end to this nonsense.
276
00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:12,459
Who wants to help me break
into the hospital in Kenya?
277
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,963
I'll come. As long as there's
no xenophobes there.
278
00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:17,047
(SHUDDERS)
279
00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:19,717
I want to come, too.
You? Why?
280
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:23,262
To prove that I can put divisive
partisan politics aside
281
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,264
to participate in a break-in.
282
00:13:37,359 --> 00:13:38,861
Hospflalhol
283
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,574
(GRUNTING)
284
00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:48,746
(GRUNTING)
285
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,339
(HOOF BEATS APPROACHING)
Shh!
286
00:13:58,422 --> 00:14:00,424
It's a herd of night watchmen.
287
00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:09,975
(GASPS) I found it!
288
00:14:12,353 --> 00:14:15,272
I don't understand. There's
no Earth certificate in here.
289
00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:16,523
TRAVERS: No, there isn't.
290
00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:19,568
(ALL GASP)
291
00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:21,695
I told you not to look.
292
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,947
So, you're not
from Earth after all.
293
00:14:24,198 --> 00:14:25,574
Of course I'm from Earth.
294
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:28,285
Wait a second.
There's no Earth certificate,
295
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,162
but it does say your
mother was admitted
296
00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:32,539
to the maternity ward.
This morning!
297
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:35,042
(GASPS)
(SIGHS)
298
00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:37,628
I should have known the truth
would come out sooner or later.
299
00:14:38,087 --> 00:14:41,423
The fact is,
I really was born on Earth
300
00:14:41,507 --> 00:14:42,591
tomorrow.
301
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:45,344
You see,
I'm not from another planet.
302
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:47,179
I'm from the future.
303
00:14:48,389 --> 00:14:49,640
(GASPING)
304
00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:53,143
(GAGGING)
305
00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:08,700
This is crazy.
You're from the future?
306
00:15:08,784 --> 00:15:11,495
Yes. I was sent back
from the year 3028
307
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,163
to prevent Nixon
from getting elected.
308
00:15:13,372 --> 00:15:15,707
I was sent forward
from the year 2000,
309
00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:18,085
but you don't hear me
gassing on about it.
310
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:20,879
But why would it be so
important to stop Nixon?
311
00:15:21,130 --> 00:15:24,007
Because of the horrific events
he's going to set in motion.
312
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,467
(SOBS) on, God.
313
00:15:25,551 --> 00:15:27,511
I can't bring myself
to describe it.
314
00:15:27,845 --> 00:15:29,685
Oh, well. VVant to hear
about how I got frozen?
315
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:31,890
Not really.
316
00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:34,810
It all started
with Nixon's promise
317
00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:37,688
to build an alien-proof fence
around the solar system.
318
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:41,400
Without cheap alien labor for
menial jobs like harvesting crops,
319
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:42,776
teaching math,
320
00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:45,779
and curing disease,
the economy collapsed.
321
00:15:46,864 --> 00:15:49,867
Starvation.
Desperation. Despair.
322
00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:51,994
So far, so good.
Then what?
323
00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:54,788
TRAVERS: Unable to feed
the world's starving masses,
324
00:15:54,872 --> 00:15:56,582
Nixon took bold action.
325
00:15:56,832 --> 00:16:00,586
In this time of crisis,
I call upon the soylent...
326
00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:02,629
I mean, silent majority.
327
00:16:02,713 --> 00:16:04,173
(ALL CHEERING)
328
00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:06,467
(ALL SCREAMING)
329
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,639
Still good.
330
00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:14,433
TRAVERS: With the
working class gone,
331
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:17,561
robots were forced
to do all the menial labor.
332
00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:23,317
Before long,
they rose up in revolt...
333
00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:33,577
Led by a bending unit
named B.B. Rodriguez.
334
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,078
(CACKLING)
335
00:16:36,914 --> 00:16:40,417
BENDER: Wait... I know a robot
named B.B. Rodriguez!
336
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:44,171
Wait... I am a robot
named B.B. Rodriguez.
337
00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:45,923
So, I become ruler of Earth?
338
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,174
Indeed.
339
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:50,093
Yes! In your face, high
school guidance counselor.
340
00:16:50,511 --> 00:16:54,014
TRAVERS: The robots crushed our most
treasured monuments and celebrities,
341
00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:56,808
but they couldn't
crush the human spirit.
342
00:16:56,892 --> 00:16:58,060
We went into hiding,
343
00:16:58,143 --> 00:17:01,522
and after careful research,
located a xeroxed copy
344
00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:04,274
of an ancient time travel code.
345
00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:05,943
Though I was only 15,
346
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:09,530
mankind entrusted me with its
last remaining suit and tie
347
00:17:09,613 --> 00:17:11,365
and sent me back in time.
348
00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,200
I would be raised
by my grandparents,
349
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:15,077
somehow get into
Harvard Law School,
350
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,287
become a community organizer,
a senator,
351
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:18,664
and finally,
352
00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:20,582
defeat Richard Nixon.
353
00:17:23,252 --> 00:17:25,754
I escaped just as
the robots arrived.
354
00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:30,175
All right, I'm low on bullets.
Everybody, scooch together.
355
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:33,011
It's not too late. You can
still win the election.
356
00:17:33,262 --> 00:17:35,472
No, I can't.
The Earthers are right.
357
00:17:35,556 --> 00:17:37,182
I have no Earth certificate.
358
00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:39,935
But you will have one
in just a few hours.
359
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,770
And everyone
will know it's real,
360
00:17:41,937 --> 00:17:44,982
'cause we'll broadcast
your birth on live TV.
361
00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,819
If it's on TV,
it has to be real.
362
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:53,574
Morbo interrupts
Bowling For Quatloos
363
00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:57,828
to present breaking coverage of the
birth of Senator Chris Travers.
364
00:17:57,953 --> 00:18:00,247
We now go live to
the delivery room,
365
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:02,165
where we're already at there.
366
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:03,792
(MOANS)
367
00:18:05,294 --> 00:18:06,461
Ow!
368
00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:08,547
Back, please.
She needs room.
369
00:18:08,714 --> 00:18:10,299
Thanks.
Not you.
370
00:18:10,382 --> 00:18:11,967
The camerawoman needs room.
371
00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:13,969
This is it,
ladies and gentlemen.
372
00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:15,304
The candidate is...
373
00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:17,222
I believe he's crowning!
374
00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:19,600
Push, Mom, push.
You can do it.
375
00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:22,978
I bet nothing comes out.
Just you watch.
376
00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:24,771
Here comes the head.
377
00:18:24,855 --> 00:18:26,356
And now the neck.
378
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,859
Linda,
I'm down here at the pelvis,
379
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:32,070
and folks round these parts
can't remember the last time
380
00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:36,074
a time-traveling senator attended
his own birth. Back to you.
381
00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:39,036
Thanks, Morbo.
You be careful down there.
382
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,495
(BABY CRYING)
383
00:18:40,579 --> 00:18:42,873
LINDA: And the
candidate is born!
384
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:46,835
We have a birth.
Repeat, we have a birth.
385
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,086
(ALL GASPING)
386
00:18:49,588 --> 00:18:50,631
Aw...
387
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,215
He's got his own eyes.
388
00:18:52,591 --> 00:18:54,468
Well, who'd have thunk it?
389
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:58,096
He was born all right,
just like he said.
390
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:10,776
And with the polls now closed
in every time zone worldwide,
391
00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:13,820
from Tomorrowland
to the Republic of Yesterday,
392
00:19:13,904 --> 00:19:15,572
we are able to declare a winner.
393
00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:18,533
Chris Travers,
who leapt backwards in time
394
00:19:18,617 --> 00:19:21,870
and ahead in the polls,
has defeated Richard Nixon.
395
00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,246
(ALL CHEERING)
396
00:19:24,373 --> 00:19:25,957
LEELAI He did it! He did it!
397
00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:29,795
Yes! Congratulations, Mr.
President.
398
00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:31,505
It's all thanks to you, Leela.
399
00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:34,883
You stood by me and exposed
my private medioal reoords,
400
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,677
even after I begged you not to.
401
00:19:36,927 --> 00:19:38,178
Aw, thanks.
402
00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:41,515
Now, get up to that podium
and change the world.
403
00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:43,934
Too bad your pal
Nixon lost, Bender.
404
00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:45,644
You must be pretty glorked off.
405
00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:48,480
Nope. I don't give a bag of
butts who won the election.
406
00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:49,690
Nothing's going to change.
407
00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:51,858
What? How can you say that?
408
00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:53,944
Watch and learn.
409
00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:57,864
My fellow Earthicans,
410
00:19:57,948 --> 00:20:01,118
lam honored and humbled
to stand before you tonight
411
00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:03,120
as your next president.
412
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:04,788
Together, we will...
413
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:06,373
Hey, what's going on?
414
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,083
What's happening?
415
00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:11,878
You see, since
Nixon wasn't elected,
416
00:20:11,962 --> 00:20:13,880
the robot uprising didn't happen
417
00:20:13,964 --> 00:20:16,550
and Travers never got sent
back from the future.
418
00:20:16,842 --> 00:20:18,677
It's Politics 101.
419
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:20,470
(SCREAMING)
420
00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:25,475
And the votes are in.
421
00:20:25,684 --> 00:20:27,602
Richard Nixon,
running unopposed,
422
00:20:27,686 --> 00:20:30,480
has been reelected
by a narrow landslide.
423
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:31,647
Say what?
424
00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:33,525
My fellow Earthicans,
425
00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:36,737
I am honored and humbled
to gloat before you tonight
426
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:39,197
as your next president.
427
00:20:39,573 --> 00:20:42,826
Wow, it really doesn't
matter who you vote for.
428
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:46,371
At least we tried to make a
difference by supporting Senator...
429
00:20:46,455 --> 00:20:48,123
Senator...
430
00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:49,541
What was his name again?
431
00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:50,876
I don't remember.
432
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:52,794
We never even
left this building.
433
00:20:52,878 --> 00:20:53,879
What?
434
00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:57,424
Nixon always wins!
435
00:20:57,507 --> 00:20:59,092
(HOWLING)