1
00:00:33,326 --> 00:00:35,029
Good news, everyone.

2
00:00:35,154 --> 00:00:38,095
Remember when you asked
to see my family tree?

3
00:00:38,354 --> 00:00:39,096
No.

4
00:00:39,262 --> 00:00:40,555
Ta-da!

5
00:00:42,056 --> 00:00:43,468
This is my ancestor

6
00:00:43,593 --> 00:00:46,778
philo Farnsworth,
inventor of television,

7
00:00:46,903 --> 00:00:49,874
and as a bonus, childhood obesity.

8
00:00:49,999 --> 00:00:52,511
And here's Dean Farnsworth,

9
00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:56,113
developer of the Farnsworth test
for colorblindness.

10
00:00:56,238 --> 00:00:58,073
Where is he, blasted?!

11
00:00:58,239 --> 00:01:01,772
And just recently, I learned
of a modern-day Farnsworth

12
00:01:01,897 --> 00:01:04,211
who invented the anti-senility truss.

13
00:01:04,336 --> 00:01:05,790
That's you, Professor.

14
00:01:08,291 --> 00:01:10,636
Ah, yes, the farnsworths boast

15
00:01:10,761 --> 00:01:13,030
a proud and distinguished lineage.

16
00:01:13,155 --> 00:01:15,173
No wormy fruit on this tree.

17
00:01:15,339 --> 00:01:16,402
What about Fry?

18
00:01:16,527 --> 00:01:17,884
Isn't he your distant uncle?

19
00:01:18,050 --> 00:01:19,050
Very distant.

20
00:01:19,149 --> 00:01:20,971
Not a true Farnsworth, mind you.

21
00:01:21,137 --> 00:01:24,114
He's way over here
on this filthy branch

22
00:01:24,239 --> 00:01:26,613
riddled with fungus and dung beetles.

23
00:01:29,438 --> 00:01:31,349
What's with the 17 dung beetles?

24
00:01:32,057 --> 00:01:33,150
Well, it's 6:00.

25
00:01:33,275 --> 00:01:35,667
I guess we'll have to deliver
that human heart tomorrow.

26
00:01:35,711 --> 00:01:36,978
Good work, people.

27
00:01:37,612 --> 00:01:39,156
Time to go clubbing!

28
00:01:39,281 --> 00:01:41,658
Baby seals, here I come.

29
00:01:41,824 --> 00:01:44,786
Guess I better
head over to my night job.

30
00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:46,038
You have a night job?

31
00:01:46,204 --> 00:01:47,565
Yup. It's exhausting,

32
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:49,400
but I need the extra money
to buy coffee

33
00:01:49,525 --> 00:01:51,134
so I can stay awake for my night job.

34
00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:52,767
- But...
- Got to go!

35
00:01:57,715 --> 00:01:59,377
You've got a surprising
amount of algae

36
00:01:59,502 --> 00:02:01,012
in your beard, Mr. President.

37
00:02:01,137 --> 00:02:03,311
Just sit still and let the
algae-eater do its work.

38
00:02:03,372 --> 00:02:04,723
Oh! Ow!

39
00:02:04,889 --> 00:02:07,309
Oh! Lay off my trademark mole!

40
00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:08,986
Hi, Lars.

41
00:02:09,111 --> 00:02:10,588
Fry.
Whatever.

42
00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:12,390
I'm heading out to my night job.

43
00:02:12,515 --> 00:02:14,649
Remember, no loud noise,
no head bowling,

44
00:02:14,815 --> 00:02:18,111
and no parties,
or it'll be your ass in a jar.

45
00:02:18,277 --> 00:02:19,495
I want to go to that museum!

46
00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:27,673
Man, this place is a snooze.

47
00:02:27,798 --> 00:02:28,455
Hey, Fry,

48
00:02:28,621 --> 00:02:32,109
I challenge President Taft here
to a pie-eating contest.

49
00:02:32,234 --> 00:02:33,543
You're on, skinny.

50
00:02:33,709 --> 00:02:35,112
Sorry, guys.
You know the rules.

51
00:02:35,237 --> 00:02:36,647
No fun allowed.

52
00:02:36,772 --> 00:02:38,507
Come on, you pansy!
I'm thirsty!

53
00:02:38,673 --> 00:02:40,653
I want me some Tennessee loopy juice!

54
00:02:40,778 --> 00:02:41,886
And I want loose women!

55
00:02:42,011 --> 00:02:44,146
The kind that aren't afraid
to show a little ankle.

56
00:02:44,170 --> 00:02:46,264
Or elbow.

57
00:02:46,430 --> 00:02:48,600
No visitors.
I'll lose my job.

58
00:02:48,766 --> 00:02:52,360
Oh, boo-hoo,
I'll lose my minimum wage job.

59
00:02:54,814 --> 00:02:57,485
You're mean, Rutherford B. Hayes!

60
00:02:57,610 --> 00:02:58,869
Listen here, young man.

61
00:02:58,994 --> 00:03:00,571
We have nothing to fear

62
00:03:00,696 --> 00:03:02,467
but running out of beer.

63
00:03:02,592 --> 00:03:03,808
Oh!

64
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:05,910
All right, one small get-together,

65
00:03:06,035 --> 00:03:08,120
but let's keep it
quiet and dignified.

66
00:03:08,286 --> 00:03:10,481
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.

67
00:03:10,606 --> 00:03:12,083
Ooh-wee!

68
00:03:16,210 --> 00:03:18,422
Four more beers!

69
00:03:18,547 --> 00:03:21,341
Four more beers!

70
00:03:22,427 --> 00:03:23,160
Yes!

71
00:03:23,426 --> 00:03:24,829
Right in the Ike!

72
00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:27,222
Nice elbow action.

73
00:03:27,388 --> 00:03:30,234
So, you grow hemp.

74
00:03:30,359 --> 00:03:33,036
Yes. And, uh, you do what with it?

75
00:03:33,161 --> 00:03:34,338
All manner of things.

76
00:03:34,463 --> 00:03:37,232
Manufacture paper, fabric, rope...

77
00:03:37,398 --> 00:03:39,610
Oh. Well, nice talking to you.

78
00:03:39,735 --> 00:03:42,980
Why, I used to smoke
about four feet of rope a day.

79
00:03:43,105 --> 00:03:44,906
Let me give you my pager number.

80
00:03:45,072 --> 00:03:49,091
Hey, Reagan, remember when
you asked to see my family tree?

81
00:03:49,216 --> 00:03:51,287
I asked you to leave me alone.

82
00:03:52,081 --> 00:03:54,916
The Farnsworths are a remarkable...

83
00:03:55,082 --> 00:03:58,687
Farnsworth?! That name is a
stain on American history.

84
00:03:58,812 --> 00:04:02,132
One of the worst traitors of
the revolution was a Farnsworth.

85
00:04:02,298 --> 00:04:04,634
- You're lying!
- He's George Washington.

86
00:04:04,759 --> 00:04:05,903
He tends not to do that.

87
00:04:06,177 --> 00:04:10,408
David Farnsworth was a notorious
British agent and counterfeiter.

88
00:04:10,533 --> 00:04:12,851
He conspired to bring down our nation

89
00:04:12,976 --> 00:04:14,686
with his fraudulent currency!

90
00:04:14,852 --> 00:04:16,827
A Farnsworth did this?

91
00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:20,251
Oh, dear!
My good name is ruined!

92
00:04:20,376 --> 00:04:21,906
Hi. I'm Jerry.

93
00:04:22,031 --> 00:04:23,195
I like movies.

94
00:04:28,317 --> 00:04:30,127
Anyone seen Ulysses Grant?

95
00:04:30,252 --> 00:04:31,662
He owes me a cheroot.

96
00:04:31,787 --> 00:04:33,521
He's over there,
puking in the bushes.

97
00:04:35,124 --> 00:04:37,292
No!

98
00:04:42,296 --> 00:04:42,840
Oh, boy.

99
00:04:43,130 --> 00:04:44,275
Mr. Fry!

100
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,144
Why are all these people
standing around...

101
00:04:46,168 --> 00:04:48,636
When they should be partying?

102
00:04:52,223 --> 00:04:55,223
Hey, hey, LBJ, you want to get drunk?

103
00:04:55,348 --> 00:04:56,579
Oh, hell, yeah.

104
00:04:57,770 --> 00:04:58,772
Zoidberg, no!

105
00:04:58,938 --> 00:05:00,425
The effects of jar juice

106
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:01,983
aren't fully understood.

107
00:05:02,149 --> 00:05:05,735
Eh, not bad.
A hint of vitalis and...

108
00:05:06,487 --> 00:05:07,822
Whoa!

109
00:05:09,791 --> 00:05:11,574
I recognize this.

110
00:05:11,699 --> 00:05:13,133
It's the 1960s!

111
00:05:13,258 --> 00:05:15,894
I did a report on it for
my drug-taking class.

112
00:05:16,019 --> 00:05:17,582
Hi, I'm Andy Warhol,

113
00:05:17,748 --> 00:05:21,660
and you're some kind
of marvelous lobster-man.

114
00:05:21,785 --> 00:05:22,652
Right on.

115
00:05:22,777 --> 00:05:25,719
Say, you got any real soup,
or just this schlock?

116
00:05:27,270 --> 00:05:28,760
What a horrid bore.

117
00:05:28,926 --> 00:05:30,762
Ooh.
Huh?

118
00:05:30,928 --> 00:05:32,156
Far out.

119
00:05:32,281 --> 00:05:34,474
That head gave me a total head trip!

120
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,060
Really? I'm gonna lick
Herbert Hoover's head.

121
00:05:37,226 --> 00:05:38,812
Lick the head!

122
00:05:38,978 --> 00:05:40,146
Lick the head!

123
00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,405
Whoa, a speakeasy!

124
00:05:48,571 --> 00:05:50,448
One prohibited beverage, please.

125
00:05:50,614 --> 00:05:52,093
Hey, Dutch, the new still is here!

126
00:05:52,199 --> 00:05:54,714
I'm not a still. I
just smell like one.

127
00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:59,328
Dutch Schultz,
come out with your bootleg whiskey.

128
00:05:59,453 --> 00:06:00,453
We're thirsty!

129
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,216
What the heck is going on?

130
00:06:08,382 --> 00:06:10,594
Jefferson,
did you sell me some bad rope?

131
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:14,207
It must have something to do
with the jar fluid.

132
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,202
Aha!

133
00:06:16,327 --> 00:06:20,157
Dr. Cahill, do I detect
a trace of opalescence?

134
00:06:20,282 --> 00:06:21,735
Very observant, Professor.

135
00:06:21,860 --> 00:06:23,995
To preserve the heads,
we use a rare form

136
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:25,567
of powdered crystalline opal.

137
00:06:27,269 --> 00:06:29,154
This is the world's entire supply.

138
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,149
Yet it's so powerful,
it should last a thousand years.

139
00:06:32,274 --> 00:06:35,419
It keeps the heads alive,
but we don't know how.

140
00:06:35,451 --> 00:06:37,659
Why did it give us
those hallucinations?

141
00:06:37,784 --> 00:06:39,023
Because it didn't!

142
00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:40,832
Uh, yeah-huh.

143
00:06:40,998 --> 00:06:43,971
Opal has unusual temporal properties.

144
00:06:44,096 --> 00:06:46,931
It preserves each head
in a time stasis bubble.

145
00:06:47,056 --> 00:06:51,242
Ergo, licking those heads
actually sent us back in time

146
00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:53,606
to their original eras. Look!

147
00:06:53,731 --> 00:06:54,731
Ugh!

148
00:06:54,845 --> 00:06:56,097
Schlock and more schlock.

149
00:06:57,048 --> 00:06:59,197
Psst. Is the coast clear?

150
00:06:59,322 --> 00:07:01,311
Button your yap, you mug.

151
00:07:01,477 --> 00:07:04,705
I've discovered a new means
of time travel.

152
00:07:04,830 --> 00:07:07,199
I'll call it the Farnsworth effect!

153
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,094
Nice try,

154
00:07:09,151 --> 00:07:12,149
but even this discovery won't
undo the treachery wrought

155
00:07:12,274 --> 00:07:15,575
by your nefarious ancestor
David Farnsworth.

156
00:07:15,741 --> 00:07:19,001
It will if we go back
in time and stop him!

157
00:07:21,831 --> 00:07:23,208
Oh!

158
00:07:25,292 --> 00:07:28,445
Professor, no! You can't tongue
the father of our country!

159
00:07:32,687 --> 00:07:33,687
Where are we?

160
00:07:33,799 --> 00:07:35,391
Also, when are we?

161
00:07:35,516 --> 00:07:38,182
68th and Broadway, colonial era.

162
00:07:41,482 --> 00:07:42,977
Rush hour.

163
00:07:47,106 --> 00:07:48,693
By my calculations,

164
00:07:48,818 --> 00:07:51,362
this head trip will last
at most 24 hours.

165
00:07:51,487 --> 00:07:55,096
We need to stop that monster
David Farnsworth!

166
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:59,737
Look at the date on this
newspaper. April 17, 1775.

167
00:07:59,862 --> 00:08:02,573
Say, on this exact date,

168
00:08:02,698 --> 00:08:06,211
the continental congress was
meeting secretly in New York.

169
00:08:06,336 --> 00:08:07,679
Maybe they can help us.

170
00:08:07,804 --> 00:08:09,326
But they could be meeting anywhere.

171
00:08:09,472 --> 00:08:11,930
What are we going to do,
search building to building?

172
00:08:12,096 --> 00:08:15,350
We'll start with that one.

173
00:08:15,516 --> 00:08:18,728
Alexander Hamilton of New York,
how say you?

174
00:08:18,894 --> 00:08:19,829
Nay!

175
00:08:19,895 --> 00:08:21,125
John Hancock

176
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:22,642
and John Adams of Massachusetts?

177
00:08:22,773 --> 00:08:24,025
Yea!
Yea!

178
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:25,763
The yeas have it.

179
00:08:25,888 --> 00:08:29,866
Our nation's official joke state
shall be New Jersey.

180
00:08:30,393 --> 00:08:31,603
Uh-oh.

181
00:08:36,566 --> 00:08:38,540
Ah, 'tis just our new crock pot.

182
00:08:38,706 --> 00:08:39,978
Watch it, wiggy.

183
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:41,512
I ain't no stinking crock.

184
00:08:41,637 --> 00:08:43,795
We'll see about that in five hours.

185
00:08:43,961 --> 00:08:48,091
Halt! From whence comest
thou, one-eyed maiden?

186
00:08:48,257 --> 00:08:50,652
Uh... ever been to Peru?

187
00:08:50,718 --> 00:08:51,756
Certainly not.

188
00:08:51,881 --> 00:08:52,971
I'm from Peru.

189
00:08:53,137 --> 00:08:54,792
Clam up, founding fathers.

190
00:08:54,917 --> 00:08:57,976
We need help
locating the treacherous forger

191
00:08:58,142 --> 00:08:59,394
who forged this forgery.

192
00:09:01,145 --> 00:09:02,333
My word.

193
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:03,868
If these enter circulation,

194
00:09:03,993 --> 00:09:05,303
our economy will be destroyed,

195
00:09:05,428 --> 00:09:07,572
and with it, our
chance at independence.

196
00:09:07,697 --> 00:09:09,307
Only one man in the Colonies

197
00:09:09,432 --> 00:09:11,676
has a printing press
fine enough to make these.

198
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,117
Our good friend Ben Franklin!

199
00:09:14,337 --> 00:09:16,619
Uh-oh. Isn't Franklin
in Philadelphia?

200
00:09:16,785 --> 00:09:20,084
When he's not in Charlotte
or Marybelle or Louisa.

201
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:24,961
I don't get it.

202
00:09:25,127 --> 00:09:26,891
I'm sure
no one's ever said this before,

203
00:09:27,016 --> 00:09:31,219
but I must get to Philadelphia
as quickly as possible!

204
00:09:35,554 --> 00:09:38,336
Oh! Why couldn't my
disgraced ancestor

205
00:09:38,461 --> 00:09:40,562
have lived in the Nascar era?

206
00:09:47,441 --> 00:09:50,194
Dr. Franklin, your new
steam engine is here.

207
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:51,916
I ain't no stinking steam engine!

208
00:09:52,041 --> 00:09:54,198
Chicken's ready.

209
00:09:54,364 --> 00:09:55,687
You may go, Louisa.

210
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,179
Now I get it.

211
00:10:02,718 --> 00:10:04,962
Fascinating.
Be you man or machine?

212
00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:08,296
Mostly machine. Might be
a couple of dead cats in there.

213
00:10:08,462 --> 00:10:10,668
Dr. Franklin, with all due respect

214
00:10:10,793 --> 00:10:13,705
to the brilliant
inventor of the... stove,

215
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:16,304
I must speak with you.
Hmm?

216
00:10:16,470 --> 00:10:19,901
I'm looking for the scoundrel
who made this.

217
00:10:20,182 --> 00:10:22,513
Intricate filigree, satanic symbols.

218
00:10:22,638 --> 00:10:24,354
Looks like one of mine.

219
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,982
But no, this is a fake!

220
00:10:28,148 --> 00:10:31,653
Duh. It says "Colony
of Maffachufetts".

221
00:10:31,819 --> 00:10:34,197
More like Taxachufetts.

222
00:10:34,363 --> 00:10:38,396
That's just how we print "s" s,
you ftupid fhitheads.

223
00:10:38,521 --> 00:10:40,598
Someone must have used my press

224
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,667
while I was poking
around in Charlotte.

225
00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:45,208
Let's ask my apprentice,
David Farnsworth.

226
00:10:45,374 --> 00:10:46,604
Farnsworth?!

227
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,212
That's him!
Arm yourselves!

228
00:10:50,671 --> 00:10:52,968
I call it the Franklinator.

229
00:10:57,219 --> 00:10:59,817
The apprentice's suite is empty!
He's gone!

230
00:11:00,097 --> 00:11:02,353
Wait. What's that glistening
in the chamber pot?

231
00:11:02,478 --> 00:11:03,678
Let's find out!

232
00:11:05,519 --> 00:11:07,792
Bender, do you know
what a chamber pot is?

233
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,784
I don't know, and I don't care.

234
00:11:12,788 --> 00:11:14,399
A Massachusetts halfpenny?

235
00:11:14,524 --> 00:11:18,636
Probably fake, too.
There's one way to find out.

236
00:11:18,907 --> 00:11:21,196
What?

237
00:11:21,201 --> 00:11:23,698
Bender bit a poo penny.
Bender bit a poo penny.

238
00:11:24,037 --> 00:11:26,374
Look, 'tis but worthless tin.

239
00:11:26,540 --> 00:11:30,505
Where could Farnsworth have
minted such a high quality fake?

240
00:11:30,836 --> 00:11:32,383
Not here. But, you know,

241
00:11:32,508 --> 00:11:34,786
I have a friend in Boston
who's an expert silversmith.

242
00:11:34,810 --> 00:11:36,611
They could be connected.

243
00:11:36,884 --> 00:11:39,390
There's only like 40 people
who do anything around here.

244
00:11:39,515 --> 00:11:41,959
But Boston's 300 miles away,

245
00:11:42,084 --> 00:11:44,495
and Bender kicked our horse to death.

246
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:46,644
We'll never get there in time.

247
00:11:46,810 --> 00:11:49,801
Unless you have another
invention up your sleeve.

248
00:11:51,427 --> 00:11:52,561
Hmm...

249
00:11:56,599 --> 00:11:58,800
How is this going
to get us to Boston?

250
00:12:00,324 --> 00:12:01,536
Ow!

251
00:12:03,339 --> 00:12:04,382
Stupid Franklin.

252
00:12:04,507 --> 00:12:05,583
I will get you!

253
00:12:17,758 --> 00:12:19,754
Ah, that scrap metal
I ordered is here.

254
00:12:20,135 --> 00:12:22,624
I'm 40% scrap metal.

255
00:12:22,930 --> 00:12:26,227
Well, Ben Franklin, my
fellow son of liber...

256
00:12:26,850 --> 00:12:28,296
Teakettles.

257
00:12:28,602 --> 00:12:30,208
Yes, I've made some new teakettles.

258
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,243
Perfect for special occasions.

259
00:12:32,522 --> 00:12:35,546
Like hanging King George in effigy...

260
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:39,383
And "H" and "I" are monograms
you can put on those kettles.

261
00:12:39,655 --> 00:12:42,010
What are you looking at,
you British bastards?

262
00:12:42,449 --> 00:12:44,512
Paul, we talked about this.

263
00:12:47,483 --> 00:12:50,228
Mr. Revere, we're looking
for a counterfeiter

264
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:52,797
who minted these smelly halfpennies.

265
00:12:52,922 --> 00:12:55,590
His name is David Farnsworth.

266
00:12:56,004 --> 00:12:57,435
Fasworth? I just hired him

267
00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:58,903
for the fall candlestick rush.

268
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,637
He's in the foundry this very moment.

269
00:13:02,886 --> 00:13:04,432
Everybody, take a Franklinator.

270
00:13:07,557 --> 00:13:09,904
Aw, I got a chipmunk.

271
00:13:18,314 --> 00:13:19,314
Hee-yah!

272
00:13:19,695 --> 00:13:20,695
Uh, wha...?

273
00:13:20,988 --> 00:13:22,760
David Farnsworth, I presume?

274
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:24,753
I is Davy Farnsworth.

275
00:13:25,158 --> 00:13:26,898
Foof. You're a disgrace
to the very name

276
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:28,423
"Farnsworth".

277
00:13:28,829 --> 00:13:31,402
Look out. He's got
a bezelling planisher.

278
00:13:31,427 --> 00:13:32,527
That's right.

279
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,838
Who wants to be bezelled?

280
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,841
You idiot.
I'm not a cannon.

281
00:13:51,852 --> 00:13:54,615
Huh. I guess I am a cannon.

282
00:13:55,551 --> 00:13:57,328
Time to prune the family tree.

283
00:13:57,353 --> 00:13:58,651
Wha!

284
00:14:00,532 --> 00:14:02,432
Yay!

285
00:14:02,457 --> 00:14:03,567
Huzzah!

286
00:14:03,692 --> 00:14:06,470
I've saved the Farnsworth name.

287
00:14:07,196 --> 00:14:08,797
Urgent message for Mr. Revere.

288
00:14:10,536 --> 00:14:11,808
"Mr. Revere,

289
00:14:11,833 --> 00:14:13,181
"pray do not 'fhit' your pants.

290
00:14:13,235 --> 00:14:14,912
"The British attack has begun.

291
00:14:15,037 --> 00:14:17,114
Cross the river and
watch for my signal".

292
00:14:17,239 --> 00:14:18,272
I must ride.

293
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,220
He has so much stuff.

294
00:14:23,345 --> 00:14:25,246
He won't miss this.

295
00:14:27,115 --> 00:14:28,926
Let's burn these counterfeits

296
00:14:29,051 --> 00:14:32,220
and paddle the next swan boat
the hell out of Boston.

297
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:34,022
Here you go.
Thanks.

298
00:14:36,696 --> 00:14:39,536
Say, where did you get that lantern?

299
00:14:39,661 --> 00:14:42,730
From that old church to the north.

300
00:14:43,203 --> 00:14:45,682
They had two burning, so I
figured they wouldn't miss one.

301
00:14:47,069 --> 00:14:48,870
"One if by land, two if by sea".

302
00:14:52,341 --> 00:14:54,509
The British are coming.
The British are coming.

303
00:14:55,048 --> 00:14:56,048
By land. By land.

304
00:14:56,111 --> 00:14:59,146
Gotta treat this OCD.
Gotta treat this OCD.

305
00:15:07,018 --> 00:15:08,098
Fry, you dope.

306
00:15:08,223 --> 00:15:10,401
You've really screwed
the grannie this time.

307
00:15:10,526 --> 00:15:12,469
History needed that second lantern.

308
00:15:12,594 --> 00:15:15,277
We'd better stop
Paul Revere before...

309
00:15:17,195 --> 00:15:18,475
I guess everything worked out

310
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,144
jolly all right, eh, governor?

311
00:15:22,237 --> 00:15:23,981
What's with
the fruity accent, ducky?

312
00:15:24,106 --> 00:15:26,116
Bollocks, I got it, too.

313
00:15:26,241 --> 00:15:29,653
Where's all
the presidents heads, then?

314
00:15:29,778 --> 00:15:31,021
I say.

315
00:15:31,146 --> 00:15:33,281
Appears we've changed
history too much.

316
00:15:33,962 --> 00:15:37,597
Disaster of nightmarish
proportions and whatnot.

317
00:15:40,871 --> 00:15:41,871
Quite.

318
00:15:58,740 --> 00:16:00,162
Where have you blokes been?

319
00:16:00,328 --> 00:16:02,279
You nearly missed elevenses.

320
00:16:02,404 --> 00:16:04,458
Who's for tea and shmavouries?

321
00:16:04,624 --> 00:16:07,417
What in bloody hell's going
on around here, I says.

322
00:16:07,542 --> 00:16:11,423
Indeed. What's become
of the dear old USA?

323
00:16:11,589 --> 00:16:12,589
Beg pardon?

324
00:16:12,715 --> 00:16:13,857
The revolution?

325
00:16:13,982 --> 00:16:16,929
1776 and what all?

326
00:16:17,095 --> 00:16:19,162
Oh, the colonial dustup.

327
00:16:19,287 --> 00:16:21,264
Well, there's nothing
we brits enjoy more

328
00:16:21,389 --> 00:16:23,066
than a good documentary.

329
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:25,312
Turn on the tellyvisor,
Dr. Zoidsmythe.

330
00:16:25,478 --> 00:16:27,470
I'll dial up the beeb.

331
00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:30,030
They've always got
a nice docky-wocky on.

332
00:16:32,066 --> 00:16:34,344
The vanquished pride
of the Yankees,

333
00:16:34,469 --> 00:16:37,658
or, America the dutiful.

334
00:16:37,824 --> 00:16:40,717
North America, or West Britannia

335
00:16:40,742 --> 00:16:43,520
as we now call it,
has been under British rule

336
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:47,157
for 1400 years,
all thanks to a nutter

337
00:16:47,282 --> 00:16:49,993
known as "Wrong-Way Revere".

338
00:16:50,118 --> 00:16:52,862
The British are coming
by land, by land.

339
00:16:54,924 --> 00:16:56,885
But we came by sea, we did.

340
00:16:57,051 --> 00:16:59,304
Surprised the Yanks at Lexington,

341
00:16:59,470 --> 00:17:02,891
ending the rebellion
with nary a kipper scuffed.

342
00:17:03,057 --> 00:17:04,307
Scuffed kippers, anyone?

343
00:17:04,432 --> 00:17:08,105
Right kind of you, mum.

344
00:17:08,271 --> 00:17:10,280
The humiliated conspirators

345
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:13,277
were forced to sign
the Declaration of Dependence,

346
00:17:13,443 --> 00:17:16,510
proclaiming British rule forever.

347
00:17:16,863 --> 00:17:18,355
Meanwhile, a loyal brit

348
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,990
by the name of David Farnsworth

349
00:17:21,115 --> 00:17:23,426
tracked down the traitor
George Washington,

350
00:17:23,551 --> 00:17:26,396
and bravely smothered him
with his wig.

351
00:17:28,249 --> 00:17:30,252
Oh, criminy.

352
00:17:30,418 --> 00:17:34,371
In gratitude, King George
named Farnsworth a Duke

353
00:17:34,496 --> 00:17:38,899
and granted his family massive
land-holdings in the Colonies.

354
00:17:39,177 --> 00:17:40,977
Blimey. I've never felt

355
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,713
so ashamed to be a Farnsworth.

356
00:17:43,838 --> 00:17:45,281
Will my lord be returning

357
00:17:45,406 --> 00:17:47,241
to his massive
land-holdings for luncheon?

358
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:48,642
Huh, wha?

359
00:17:57,151 --> 00:17:59,062
I know we're ladies-in-waiting,

360
00:17:59,187 --> 00:18:00,764
but what are we waiting for?

361
00:18:01,032 --> 00:18:02,065
How should I know?

362
00:18:02,190 --> 00:18:04,077
Just shut up and wait.

363
00:18:04,243 --> 00:18:07,270
Say, how is it that we've
got socialized medicine,

364
00:18:07,395 --> 00:18:09,917
but me teeth still look like this?

365
00:18:10,083 --> 00:18:12,443
Can't we just go back in time,
and set things right again?

366
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,110
Don't want to.

367
00:18:14,235 --> 00:18:17,104
Rather nice, living under
the crown and so forth.

368
00:18:17,382 --> 00:18:19,206
Rather. Oh!

369
00:18:19,509 --> 00:18:22,385
What's more, couldn't go back,
even if we wanted to.

370
00:18:22,510 --> 00:18:24,854
No more crystalline opal left

371
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,014
in all the world, don't you know.

372
00:18:27,308 --> 00:18:29,726
My lord, the Queen is here

373
00:18:29,851 --> 00:18:32,219
for her weekly, er, visit.

374
00:18:32,563 --> 00:18:33,563
The Queen?

375
00:18:33,898 --> 00:18:36,089
Sounds most satisfactory.

376
00:18:36,401 --> 00:18:37,734
All of you, out.

377
00:18:37,859 --> 00:18:39,269
Right then.

378
00:18:39,394 --> 00:18:42,396
Let's go play some quoits,
whatever that is.

379
00:18:44,198 --> 00:18:46,509
Presenting the Queen of England,

380
00:18:46,634 --> 00:18:50,346
America,
and two parking spaces in Tokyo.

381
00:18:50,471 --> 00:18:53,407
Where's me consort at?

382
00:18:53,793 --> 00:18:55,754
C- consort?

383
00:18:56,462 --> 00:18:57,987
That's right, love.

384
00:18:58,112 --> 00:18:59,856
Fer centuries, the
Farnsworth gentlemen

385
00:18:59,981 --> 00:19:02,010
has provided service to the Queen.

386
00:19:02,176 --> 00:19:04,818
Now, close your eyes
and think of England.

387
00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:07,287
I say.

388
00:19:07,723 --> 00:19:09,289
What's that in your crown?

389
00:19:09,642 --> 00:19:11,301
You mean the Andamooka Opal?

390
00:19:11,426 --> 00:19:13,689
That's the most precious
gem in all the...

391
00:19:13,855 --> 00:19:14,855
Yes.

392
00:19:14,963 --> 00:19:16,806
Three rubbers on the hobb.

393
00:19:17,799 --> 00:19:19,366
Stop him!

394
00:19:19,652 --> 00:19:22,869
He crowned me in the knickers
and nicked me crown.

395
00:19:25,491 --> 00:19:26,783
Freeze.

396
00:19:26,908 --> 00:19:28,751
Or we'll be forced
to continue chasing you,

397
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,420
since we don't carry guns.

398
00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:32,412
Indubitably.

399
00:19:34,582 --> 00:19:37,093
We've got to go back in time
and set things straight.

400
00:19:37,118 --> 00:19:39,419
Hurry up and lick
Washington's head again.

401
00:19:39,755 --> 00:19:41,831
We can't. There's
no George Washington

402
00:19:41,956 --> 00:19:43,490
nor any other presidents.

403
00:19:43,968 --> 00:19:45,101
What about this bloke?

404
00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:48,528
He's from revolutionary times.

405
00:19:48,973 --> 00:19:50,497
Farnsworth.

406
00:19:50,808 --> 00:19:53,109
Hey, you're the plonkers
what candlesticked me.

407
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,768
Well, I showed you.

408
00:19:55,062 --> 00:19:56,412
I killed George Washington,

409
00:19:56,537 --> 00:19:58,781
and now I'm married
to one of the Spice Girls.

410
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:00,874
Don't rightly know which one.

411
00:20:00,902 --> 00:20:03,910
Bender, fetch me that powdered opal.

412
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:15,564
It's time to restore dignity
to the Farnsworth name.

413
00:20:16,289 --> 00:20:18,057
Ew!

414
00:20:21,229 --> 00:20:22,929
There.

415
00:20:23,257 --> 00:20:25,475
That time I left
both lanterns in place.

416
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,478
And I hit Farnsworth
much, much harder.

417
00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:30,671
Perhaps too hard.

418
00:20:31,015 --> 00:20:32,515
Look, all the presidents are back.

419
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,508
Even John Tyler.

420
00:20:34,852 --> 00:20:37,120
That's the first time anyone's spoken

421
00:20:37,245 --> 00:20:40,189
to me in 1,200 years.

422
00:20:40,314 --> 00:20:43,993
Yes, from Chester A. Arthur
to Chester Z. Arthur,

423
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,819
they're all here.

424
00:20:46,113 --> 00:20:47,297
Our republic

425
00:20:47,422 --> 00:20:50,991
and the Farnsworth
family name are saved.

426
00:20:51,538 --> 00:20:53,655
And no one will ever know.

427
00:21:02,179 --> 00:21:03,179
Yeah!