1 00:00:20,330 --> 00:00:22,500 After centuries as a delivery boy, 2 00:00:22,540 --> 00:00:24,300 nothing surprises me. 3 00:00:29,140 --> 00:00:30,600 You stink, loser. 4 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:32,000 Hey, Fry! 5 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,410 Pizza going out! Come on! 6 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,750 Aw, all right. I'll take the red rocket. 7 00:00:48,630 --> 00:00:51,530 Hello! Pizza delivery for... 8 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:54,200 D. Frosted wang? 9 00:00:54,230 --> 00:00:56,370 Ugh, not another crank delivery! 10 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,200 Why don't I read these ahead of time? 11 00:01:00,540 --> 00:01:02,040 One time was funny. 12 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,340 But every week for ten years? Not as funny. 13 00:01:04,380 --> 00:01:07,680 True, not as funny. But still somewhat funny. 14 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,420 And-and then they burst out laughing 15 00:01:12,450 --> 00:01:13,650 a second time. 16 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,660 I've been a delivery boy for a thousand years. 17 00:01:20,690 --> 00:01:23,130 Isn't there any room for promotion around here? 18 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,730 There'll be no promotions unless somebody dies. 19 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,200 And even then, only if we can't 20 00:01:28,230 --> 00:01:30,006 bring them back as a zombie, like Scruffy. 21 00:01:30,030 --> 00:01:31,606 Life and death are a seamless continuum. 22 00:01:31,630 --> 00:01:33,170 Mm-hmm. 23 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,540 Well, could I at least get some encouragement? 24 00:01:35,570 --> 00:01:37,270 I could use a shot in the arm. 25 00:01:37,310 --> 00:01:39,740 I get shot in the leg! 26 00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:44,050 Roberto! What are you doing here? 27 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:46,420 What? A fella can't drop in on old friends 28 00:01:46,450 --> 00:01:48,290 and hold them hostage? 29 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,150 I'm good. And you? 30 00:01:50,190 --> 00:01:53,160 Attention, criminal robot in the building! 31 00:01:53,190 --> 00:01:54,760 Come out with your hands up! 32 00:01:54,790 --> 00:01:57,430 - Never! - Uh... other guy. 33 00:01:57,460 --> 00:02:00,300 Listen up, piggies, I want a hovercopter, 34 00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:02,100 and an unmarked sandwich, 35 00:02:02,130 --> 00:02:05,370 and a new face with like a, a Hugh Grant look. 36 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,630 And every five minutes I don't get it, 37 00:02:07,670 --> 00:02:10,300 someone's going to get stabbed in the ass! 38 00:02:10,340 --> 00:02:12,210 He's bluffing. Ouch! 39 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,470 He's not bluffing! 40 00:02:15,210 --> 00:02:16,610 You call for a chopper? 41 00:02:16,650 --> 00:02:20,010 Nah, I specifically said hovercopter! 42 00:02:20,050 --> 00:02:21,520 One chopper, coming up. 43 00:02:21,550 --> 00:02:23,480 Hi-yah! Ah! 44 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:25,720 All right! Way to go. 45 00:02:31,190 --> 00:02:32,460 You know, url, 46 00:02:32,490 --> 00:02:34,660 sometimes it's almost too much for me. 47 00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:36,330 You mean the respect we get? 48 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,270 And the high level of job satisfaction? 49 00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:41,000 There's that, but i'm also talking about 50 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,340 the non-stop promotions and the free hot rod. 51 00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:50,040 Mm. I do love a man in uniform. 52 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:52,140 Ahem! 53 00:02:52,180 --> 00:02:54,710 I mean a uniform that doesn't involve short pants. 54 00:02:56,180 --> 00:02:58,150 I can see I have no future here. 55 00:02:58,190 --> 00:03:01,020 My only option is to resign with dignity. 56 00:03:01,060 --> 00:03:02,660 Here are my shorts. 57 00:03:10,630 --> 00:03:13,270 Hello. I'd like to enroll in police academy. 58 00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:15,270 You think you can just waltz in here 59 00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:16,670 with no pants and become a cop? 60 00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:18,300 That's the plan. I like you, kid. 61 00:03:18,340 --> 00:03:20,070 I got no pants on, either. 62 00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:22,310 I can see that. You're quite a bit taller than me. 63 00:03:22,340 --> 00:03:24,640 Welcome to police academy. 64 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,110 Hi, I'm Fry. 65 00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:28,110 I'm a sound effects 5000. 66 00:03:32,220 --> 00:03:34,220 Weep, wop, beep! 67 00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:37,250 Wow. That would be impressive if you were a human. 68 00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:39,360 Yeah. 69 00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:40,666 On your feet for chief o'manahan. 70 00:03:40,690 --> 00:03:42,060 At ease, cadets. 71 00:03:42,090 --> 00:03:43,460 I'll make this short and sweet, 72 00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:45,230 'cause I'm pmsing like a lumberjack. 73 00:03:45,260 --> 00:03:47,270 Police academy is not for everybody. 74 00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:49,330 You're gonna get your boob scuffed. 75 00:03:49,370 --> 00:03:51,540 But if you've got the vulva to stick it out, 76 00:03:51,570 --> 00:03:54,340 I'll be proud to call you ladies policemen. 77 00:03:54,370 --> 00:03:55,670 Sir! Yes, ma'am! 78 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:04,920 Yeah. That's great. 79 00:04:04,950 --> 00:04:06,950 Now, can you actually turn on the ignition? 80 00:04:06,990 --> 00:04:09,250 I don't have any hands. 81 00:04:27,970 --> 00:04:30,170 Well, it's that time of the month. 82 00:04:30,210 --> 00:04:32,180 Graduation day. 83 00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:35,510 So grow a pair and put them together for our new officers! 84 00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:38,980 Good job! 85 00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:40,680 Hooray for the pigs! 86 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,590 Graduates, you are hereby officially cops. 87 00:04:43,620 --> 00:04:45,720 Now move it along, nothing to see here. 88 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:53,030 Hooray! Free sky sticks! 89 00:04:53,070 --> 00:04:54,230 Oh! 90 00:04:54,270 --> 00:04:56,270 Police brutality! 91 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,290 Nice... All right. 92 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:09,920 Before we head out, I'll be teaming up our new officers 93 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,760 with their ironically matched partners. 94 00:05:11,790 --> 00:05:13,290 Sound Effects 5000, 95 00:05:13,330 --> 00:05:14,560 you'll be with Cranski. 96 00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:17,730 Ow, my tinnitus! 97 00:05:17,770 --> 00:05:21,170 Fry, due to the unfortunate loss of Officer Smith, 98 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:22,740 you'll be riding with Url. 99 00:05:22,770 --> 00:05:26,210 And Smitty was just a few days from retirement. 100 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,570 Wh-what happened? 101 00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:30,610 He took a early retirement. Damn. 102 00:05:33,450 --> 00:05:35,350 Let's get down to business. 103 00:05:35,380 --> 00:05:38,420 Aren't you going to say, "Good news, everyone."? 104 00:05:38,450 --> 00:05:41,290 Oh, I just said that for Fry's benefit. 105 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:44,690 Made the poor fellow feel better about his pointless job. 106 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,360 As much as I miss him, 107 00:05:46,390 --> 00:05:48,376 he didn't really serve much purpose around here. 108 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,900 Though he did walk Zoidberg. 109 00:05:52,330 --> 00:05:54,570 In any case, I've improved on Fry 110 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,876 by sticking some wheels on a board, so Leela and Bender 111 00:05:56,900 --> 00:06:00,940 can easily make the next delivery without him. 112 00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:02,680 Me? So where we going? 113 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,710 Pandora. 114 00:06:04,750 --> 00:06:06,550 That dangerous 3D planet? 115 00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:08,310 Can't we just send our avatars? 116 00:06:08,350 --> 00:06:11,250 No, it's cheaper just to have you die. 117 00:06:18,530 --> 00:06:21,300 Whoa. 15 miles over the speed of light. 118 00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:24,770 That's a violation of the law of Lorentz's Invariants, baby. 119 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,170 Light 'em up. 120 00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:49,960 Look out for that particular individual! 121 00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:53,700 An electric wall, eh? 122 00:06:53,730 --> 00:06:55,630 I can't see the harm in peeing on that. 123 00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:11,510 Whoa! Where'd my man learn that? 124 00:07:11,550 --> 00:07:13,680 Sunny d commercial. 125 00:07:16,450 --> 00:07:18,760 Let's refract this sucker. 126 00:07:38,910 --> 00:07:40,710 DNA and career chip, please. 127 00:07:42,610 --> 00:07:44,450 Erwin schrodinger, huh? 128 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,580 What's in the box, schrodinger? 129 00:07:46,620 --> 00:07:50,420 Um... a cat, some poison, and a cesium atom. 130 00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:52,220 Is it alive or dead? 131 00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:53,420 Alive or dead? 132 00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:54,920 Answer him, fool. 133 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,590 It's a superposition of both states 134 00:07:57,630 --> 00:07:59,860 until you open it and collapse the wave function. 135 00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:01,600 Says you. 136 00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:07,470 There's also a lot of drugs in there. 137 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,920 So... you're a robot? 138 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:30,230 You boys did good. 139 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:32,500 Nailed a major violator of the laws of physics. 140 00:08:32,530 --> 00:08:34,230 He's going down. 141 00:08:34,270 --> 00:08:35,800 Cat's gonna testify. 142 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,370 Guys like this really bust my uterus. 143 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:39,910 You're both getting a promotion. 144 00:08:39,940 --> 00:08:41,940 Ever heard of the future crimes division? 145 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,580 Tomorrow, I have. 146 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:57,920 Oops. 147 00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,790 I can't make out a thing. 148 00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:02,500 Well, I guess you should have had two eyes. 149 00:09:02,530 --> 00:09:05,260 Just deliver the package, and let's get out of here. 150 00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:07,870 Screw that! I ain't no delivery boy. 151 00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:09,500 I'm the company chef. 152 00:09:09,540 --> 00:09:11,870 Oh, you're the chef, are you? 153 00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:14,470 Then why don't you make us something nice to eat? 154 00:09:18,910 --> 00:09:22,580 Here's your damn peanut butter and jelly sandwich! 155 00:09:27,260 --> 00:09:31,430 Now that we can predict crimes with 99% accuracy, 156 00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:32,766 we can arrest most perpetrators 157 00:09:32,790 --> 00:09:34,600 before they even perpetrate anything. 158 00:09:34,630 --> 00:09:35,830 That's ridiculous. 159 00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:37,930 Only horoscopes can predict the future. 160 00:09:37,970 --> 00:09:39,500 That's what we used to think. 161 00:09:39,540 --> 00:09:41,870 Until we invented... this. 162 00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:48,780 Ooh. 163 00:09:48,810 --> 00:09:50,350 Slow down, baby. 164 00:09:50,380 --> 00:09:51,920 The cybernetic oracle. 165 00:09:51,950 --> 00:09:53,980 The ultimate man-machine hybrid. 166 00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:56,390 Programmed with every crime ever recorded, 167 00:09:56,420 --> 00:09:57,855 and implanted with the brain cells 168 00:09:57,890 --> 00:09:59,660 of history's greatest detectives. 169 00:09:59,690 --> 00:10:01,690 We call him... Pickles. 170 00:10:01,730 --> 00:10:04,230 On account of it's like he's floating in a jar? 171 00:10:04,260 --> 00:10:05,800 Exactly. 172 00:10:05,830 --> 00:10:08,730 The oracle's visions are recorded on these colored balls. 173 00:10:08,770 --> 00:10:11,400 Green is larceny. Black is fraud. 174 00:10:11,430 --> 00:10:13,470 Homicide. 175 00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,870 What's pink polka-dots? Clown slaughter. 176 00:10:15,910 --> 00:10:17,870 It happens more often than you'd think. 177 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:21,840 Floater in the bowl! 178 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,840 Red ball. Homicide! 179 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,310 Whoo! 180 00:10:26,850 --> 00:10:28,650 Male, six foot one. 181 00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:30,620 Distinctive mustard stain on his forehead. 182 00:10:32,290 --> 00:10:34,350 My kajigger! 183 00:10:34,390 --> 00:10:36,760 Hattie mcdoogal. 184 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,300 Look, the clock says 5:08. 185 00:10:43,330 --> 00:10:44,970 It's 4:30 right now. 186 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,470 Uh-oh, we only have a half hour to chill out 187 00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:48,570 before we head over. 188 00:10:51,940 --> 00:10:53,640 Oh, Hattie. 189 00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:55,840 When I look into your one good eye, 190 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:58,650 I see a reflection of beauty. 191 00:10:58,680 --> 00:10:59,820 Oh! Fresh. 192 00:11:00,850 --> 00:11:02,520 Freeze, fool. 193 00:11:02,550 --> 00:11:04,220 You're under arrest for future murder! 194 00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:07,420 Yeah? You can't arrest me for future murder... 195 00:11:07,460 --> 00:11:09,360 After it's right now murder! 196 00:11:09,390 --> 00:11:10,630 My kajigger! 197 00:11:16,570 --> 00:11:19,900 So he didn't really want to marry me? 198 00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:22,370 Nah. See, he knew you left everything 199 00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:24,410 to your parakeets in your will. 200 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,280 He was going to murder you, marry your parakeets, 201 00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:29,980 and then poison them with an arsenic-laced cuttlebone. 202 00:11:30,010 --> 00:11:31,680 Classic move. 203 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,520 Aw, yeah. 204 00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:37,650 Congratulations on your big bust. 205 00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:39,090 You, too. 206 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,136 Keep it up, and you boys might just make detective. 207 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,660 Now, if you'll excuse me, 208 00:11:42,690 --> 00:11:44,330 I got to go drop a big one. 209 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,960 Wow. I can't believe it. 210 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,900 One more promotion, and I'll be a real detective, 211 00:11:49,930 --> 00:11:53,140 like Sherlock Holmes or speed buggy. 212 00:11:54,370 --> 00:11:55,740 Eight pounds. 213 00:11:55,770 --> 00:11:56,940 I'm naming her Burt. 214 00:11:56,970 --> 00:11:58,340 Mazel tov, chief. 215 00:11:58,380 --> 00:12:00,780 That's a beautiful bathroom baby. 216 00:12:03,210 --> 00:12:05,210 Hey, you heading home, Phil? 217 00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:06,720 In a minute. 218 00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:08,096 I just want to finish this paperless work. 219 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:09,790 Don't stay up too late. 220 00:12:09,820 --> 00:12:12,560 We got a lot of people to shoot tomorrow. 221 00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:19,130 Hello! Anyone? 222 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:22,430 There's never a cop around when you need one. 223 00:12:23,770 --> 00:12:25,400 Green ball. Larceny. 224 00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:37,110 Hmm. 225 00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:39,680 The thief seems to be some sort of ghost. 226 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,690 Or is he? 227 00:12:43,790 --> 00:12:46,090 Aah! Bender? 228 00:12:54,830 --> 00:12:57,570 Item 7: Our corporate tax rate 229 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,000 remained unchanged this fiscal year. 230 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,370 That's not funny. 231 00:13:01,410 --> 00:13:02,616 It's not supposed to be funny. 232 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:04,010 It's a business meeting. 233 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,140 Things used to be funny around here. 234 00:13:06,180 --> 00:13:08,580 Noses were picked, pants fell down. 235 00:13:08,610 --> 00:13:10,110 So what changed? 236 00:13:10,150 --> 00:13:13,320 Only Fry could say, and he's gone. 237 00:13:13,350 --> 00:13:14,850 Hey. 238 00:13:14,890 --> 00:13:17,550 Bender and Leela are back from Pandora. How was it? 239 00:13:17,590 --> 00:13:20,520 Awful. We had nothing to say to each other, 240 00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:23,530 so we had to listen to Bender's eagles album for 27 hours. 241 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:25,930 Beats talking to you, witchy woman. 242 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,930 Hey, he's back! 243 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,500 Look at you. Hubba hubba. 244 00:13:29,530 --> 00:13:32,230 Your pants go almost all the way to your ankles. 245 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,940 Good afternoon, individuals. 246 00:13:33,970 --> 00:13:35,886 Sir, would you mind stepping out of the building? 247 00:13:35,910 --> 00:13:37,640 Normally, when a cop asks me that, 248 00:13:37,670 --> 00:13:40,380 I spray whip cream in his eyes and run away, 249 00:13:40,410 --> 00:13:42,910 but to ditch these losers, gladly. 250 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,050 Bender, be honest with me. 251 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,580 Are you planning a big heist? 252 00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:49,450 Usually, but not at the moment. 253 00:13:49,490 --> 00:13:51,390 I only ask 'cause the oracle thinks 254 00:13:51,420 --> 00:13:54,630 you're going to pull off a major theft next Thursday. 255 00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:56,130 Next Thursday, you say? 256 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,960 Pray, continue. 257 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,170 Are you familiar with this particular location? 258 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,870 I may have a burgling familiarity with it. 259 00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,870 Does the word "Maltese" mean anything to you? 260 00:14:06,910 --> 00:14:08,970 The Maltese liquor... The strongest, 261 00:14:09,010 --> 00:14:11,540 the most valuable malt liquor ever brewed! 262 00:14:11,580 --> 00:14:14,250 And soon it will be mine. 263 00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:17,280 I'm sorry. You were saying? 264 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:18,880 Bender, I'm only telling you this 265 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:20,620 so you can avoid committing the crime. 266 00:14:20,650 --> 00:14:23,960 "Avoid committing the crime". Got it. 267 00:14:23,990 --> 00:14:27,090 You wrote "commit the crime"! 268 00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:35,200 Oh, there's got to be some way to stop Bender. 269 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:36,916 Maybe something in the oracle's predictions 270 00:14:36,940 --> 00:14:39,170 that I missed before due to incompetence. 271 00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:43,940 Wait. Who's the trigger-happy jerk? 272 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:49,350 That's me! 273 00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:50,920 I recognize the face. 274 00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,190 You shot me! 275 00:14:55,220 --> 00:14:57,360 You miserable dingus! 276 00:14:57,390 --> 00:15:00,290 No! No! What have I will have done? 277 00:15:00,330 --> 00:15:03,000 Man, that's heavy. Osmium heavy. 278 00:15:03,030 --> 00:15:06,000 Wha...? Are you going to turn me in for concealing evidence? 279 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,200 Say what? 280 00:15:07,230 --> 00:15:08,416 You're my partner, home Fry. 281 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:11,070 Besides, I got my own secrets. 282 00:15:12,110 --> 00:15:13,610 Anything big worth checking out? 283 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:17,240 Just your big jangly booty, baby. 284 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:18,510 See you tonight, toots. 285 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,980 You... and the chief? 286 00:15:24,020 --> 00:15:25,980 Mm-hmm. We been gettin' it on. 287 00:15:26,020 --> 00:15:28,020 Right there in your chair. 288 00:15:28,050 --> 00:15:30,990 I'm like, "Oh, baby! Oh, baby!" 289 00:15:31,020 --> 00:15:35,660 and she's like, "yeah. Yeah. Yeah". 290 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,570 I would never shoot Bender. Never! 291 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,500 He taught me how to shave. 292 00:15:46,610 --> 00:15:48,270 Revision ball. 293 00:15:48,310 --> 00:15:50,270 By deciding not to shoot Bender, 294 00:15:50,310 --> 00:15:52,480 you created an alternate future. 295 00:15:52,510 --> 00:15:55,210 I could never shoot you. Never! 296 00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:56,580 You taught me how to shave. 297 00:15:56,610 --> 00:15:58,010 See? 298 00:15:58,050 --> 00:15:59,550 Just get out of here. 299 00:15:59,580 --> 00:16:01,190 Go! 300 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:05,060 Now, dig the unintended consequences. 301 00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:07,530 My friends, let us share this booze 302 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,590 in a toast to our dear friend, Bender. 303 00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:21,170 Oops. 304 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,940 The Maltese liquor done destroyed their brains. 305 00:16:23,970 --> 00:16:25,970 Fools should have known it's fatal 306 00:16:26,010 --> 00:16:29,040 for anyone but robots and Billy Dee Williams. 307 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:33,220 So, if I don't shoot Bender, all my other friends will die? 308 00:16:33,250 --> 00:16:35,020 Fate is a freaky mistress. 309 00:16:35,050 --> 00:16:36,480 Much like the chief. 310 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:37,890 Look out! 311 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,190 Something's not right. 312 00:16:39,220 --> 00:16:40,520 I refuse to believe it. 313 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:42,220 Rewind. 314 00:16:49,470 --> 00:16:51,300 Ooh. 315 00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:54,470 Are you the calloused working man I ordered? 316 00:16:54,510 --> 00:16:56,310 Uh, sure. 317 00:16:56,340 --> 00:16:58,980 In order to fix your leaky roof, 318 00:16:59,010 --> 00:17:00,680 I'll need to spend two or three hours 319 00:17:00,710 --> 00:17:02,240 down here in the wine cellar. 320 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,350 I'll be upstairs putting batteries in things. 321 00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:09,350 Whoa! 322 00:17:10,390 --> 00:17:12,250 The Maltese liquor. 323 00:17:12,290 --> 00:17:14,220 40 ounces of heaven! 324 00:17:16,090 --> 00:17:17,630 Here, boy. 325 00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:19,430 This is for you. 326 00:17:21,660 --> 00:17:23,130 Ah. 327 00:17:23,170 --> 00:17:25,100 Hmm. 328 00:17:30,140 --> 00:17:33,180 Invisible safe, eh? 329 00:17:35,310 --> 00:17:36,580 Aah! 330 00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:41,580 Ah, yeah, baby! 331 00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:43,650 210 proof. 332 00:17:43,690 --> 00:17:45,920 That's all the proof I need. 333 00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:48,260 Put the bottle back. 334 00:17:48,290 --> 00:17:49,890 We both know I won't do that. 335 00:17:49,930 --> 00:17:51,390 Either you're going to shoot me, 336 00:17:51,430 --> 00:17:53,430 or I'm going to spray whip cream in your eyes 337 00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:55,300 and walk out of here like a big shot. 338 00:17:55,330 --> 00:17:57,360 Bender, no! You don't have to do something 339 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:58,970 just 'cause it's going to happen. 340 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,340 The future's making a chump out of you. 341 00:18:01,370 --> 00:18:04,410 Oh, yeah? Well, I'm going to make a chump out of the future. 342 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,270 I'm not stealing anything! 343 00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:09,040 Yes! I stopped the crime without shooting you. 344 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:10,580 The oracle was wrong. 345 00:18:10,610 --> 00:18:12,650 Was I? 346 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,850 Pickles? Yes. 347 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,150 It is I, pickles. 348 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,850 I set the whole thing up. 349 00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:20,590 Everyone will think Bender's the thief 350 00:18:20,620 --> 00:18:23,560 while I make off with that glorious brew. 351 00:18:23,590 --> 00:18:25,390 Seriously? Why? 352 00:18:25,430 --> 00:18:28,160 So I can kill my human brain cells. 353 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,300 Do you have any idea what a burden it is 354 00:18:30,330 --> 00:18:32,630 to know everything that will ever happen? 355 00:18:32,670 --> 00:18:34,370 To never be surprised. 356 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:38,300 To know the punch line of every joke hours in advance. 357 00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:39,470 Like watching Leno. 358 00:18:39,510 --> 00:18:41,310 And that is why I faked 359 00:18:41,340 --> 00:18:43,280 the prediction of this crime. 360 00:18:43,310 --> 00:18:45,380 Nevertheless... Stay with me here... 361 00:18:45,410 --> 00:18:49,250 Things will now happen just as I fake predicted. 362 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:52,620 Bender, you're going to hand me that bottle. 363 00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:54,290 Not that one! 364 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,060 The real one, which you switched 365 00:18:56,090 --> 00:18:57,990 when Fry stupidly looked away. 366 00:18:58,030 --> 00:18:59,090 Hey. 367 00:18:59,130 --> 00:19:00,300 Ah, man. 368 00:19:00,330 --> 00:19:02,630 Why you got to be so oracle-y? 369 00:19:02,670 --> 00:19:05,500 Fry, you are going to shoot Bender, 370 00:19:05,530 --> 00:19:07,900 killing him and shattering the fake bottle, 371 00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:09,440 just as I predicted. 372 00:19:09,470 --> 00:19:10,870 Do it! 373 00:19:10,910 --> 00:19:12,140 It is your destiny! 374 00:19:12,180 --> 00:19:14,380 Funny thing about destiny. 375 00:19:14,410 --> 00:19:16,580 Sometimes fate has other plans. 376 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,080 Oh, nuts. 377 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,290 You shot me! 378 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,360 You miserable dingus! 379 00:19:24,390 --> 00:19:27,560 And now the part I didn't show you. 380 00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:31,860 Everyone will think Bender killed you, 381 00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:34,600 and I walk away with the goofy juice! 382 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:42,010 Finally, blissful ignorance. 383 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,610 I have no idea what's going to happen next. 384 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,650 Did you get that, chief? Huh? 385 00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:53,880 We got it all from behind this prediction-proof glass. 386 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:57,350 But how could you know my prediction was fake? 387 00:19:57,390 --> 00:19:58,564 I knew something was wrong, 388 00:19:58,590 --> 00:20:00,360 but I couldn't put my finger on it. 389 00:20:00,390 --> 00:20:02,360 Then it hit me. 390 00:20:02,390 --> 00:20:03,990 You showed Bender 391 00:20:04,030 --> 00:20:06,900 sharing the deadly booze with our friends. 392 00:20:06,930 --> 00:20:08,230 Bender would never share. 393 00:20:08,270 --> 00:20:09,570 The very idea! 394 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,100 So we set up this little charade 395 00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:15,170 based on an episode of Speed Buggy. 396 00:20:15,210 --> 00:20:17,510 With the added benefit of me and the chief 397 00:20:17,540 --> 00:20:20,110 being locked in a small room. 398 00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:25,650 Shall we adjourn to the dungeon? 399 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:32,060 Well, I got my shield for stopping Bender. 400 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,560 But then I got fired for tipping off Bender. 401 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,930 Fry, we have no idea what you do around here, 402 00:20:41,970 --> 00:20:44,070 but we desperately need you back. 403 00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:47,010 Really? Um, I don't suppose there's any chance 404 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,640 I could get a promotion. 405 00:20:48,670 --> 00:20:50,040 Sure. What the heck? 406 00:20:50,590 --> 00:20:55,630 I hear by promotion, executive delivery boy. 407 00:20:55,710 --> 00:20:56,930 Executive? 408 00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:58,585 It's a meaning less title. 409 00:20:58,620 --> 00:21:01,570 But it helps insecure people feel better about themselves. 410 00:21:02,930 --> 00:21:05,020 I feel better about myself!