1
00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:06,365
[ Man ]
One, two! One, two, three!

2
00:00:33,966 --> 00:00:37,536
You are one
narrow-minded spaceship,
Planet Express Ship!

3
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:42,637
[ Male Voice ] Whoa, whoa!
Why should my tax money
pay for art I find offensive?

4
00:00:43,743 --> 00:00:45,983
Would you censor the Venus
de Venus...

5
00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:48,119
just because you can see her
spewers?

6
00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:52,316
It's filthy! Why not create
a National Endowment for
Strip Clubs while we're at it?

7
00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:54,660
- Why not indeed!
- Bender! Ship!

8
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:58,885
Stop bickering,
or I'm gonna come back there and
change your opinions manually.

9
00:00:58,991 --> 00:01:03,331
Fine! I'll be in my quarters
appreciating controversial
artworks.

10
00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:07,435
[ Yelps ]
Oops. Sorry.

11
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:09,404
[ Evil Chuckle ]

12
00:01:12,805 --> 00:01:15,435
Yah! That ship
is so white-bread.

13
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:18,753
People, it's Valentine's Day
next week,

14
00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:22,616
so your beloved company has
gotten you all new uniforms.
[ All Exclaiming ]

15
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:26,116
"Clool"!
Clothing!
Delicious clothing!

16
00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:28,459
We'll need to look our best
if we're to get the account...

17
00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:32,155
of our new potential customer--
Romanticorp.

18
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:35,599
Romanticorp?
Are they a corporation
that makes romantic stuff?

19
00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:37,595
Very good, Amy.

20
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:41,798
Everyone suit up.
We're off to the most
romantic city on earth.

21
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:55,223
[ Hatch ]
[ Kissing Sound ]

22
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,217
Remember, we've
got to show these people...

23
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,659
we're not bitter husks
of human beings...

24
00:02:01,754 --> 00:02:05,694
who long ago abandoned hope
of finding love
in this lifetime.

25
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,333
Leela, you'll have to do
some acting.
Check.

26
00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,459
Welcome!

27
00:02:10,563 --> 00:02:12,703
Oh, I'm just so excited!

28
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,240
[ Kissing Sound ]

29
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:17,995
I'm Sheldon, and this is
my chief financial officer,
Gwen.

30
00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:21,914
For 30 years,
we've shared the adventure
of managing Romanticorp.

31
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:25,009
Not to mention
the adventure of marriage.
[ Chuckling ]

32
00:02:25,111 --> 00:02:27,551
[ Chuckles ]
[ Kissing Sound ]

33
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,647
Oh, you have got
to be kidding.

34
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,690
[ Electricity Buzzes ]
Ow! I-- I mean--

35
00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:34,154
Ah! That's so sweet.

36
00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:36,494
[ Electricity Buzzes ]
Aah! I mean,

37
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:41,030
[ Baby Talk ]
Ah! That's so sweet.

38
00:02:41,127 --> 00:02:45,497
[ Farnsworth ] You know,
romance is an important
part of our work too.

39
00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:48,368
Right, everyone?
[ All, Unenthusiastic ]
Yeah. Sure.

40
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:51,868
Do any of you
collect Lovey Bears?

41
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,172
I do!
Kif's given me dozens.

42
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:56,175
Is it true
what the ad says,

43
00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:59,546
that you kiss them together
out of blankie cloth
and magic buttons?

44
00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:03,746
No.
It's actually cheaper to
genetically engineer real ones.

45
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,790
[ Bears Giggling, Cooing ]

46
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:10,187
[ Sheldon ] They frolic
in the Lovey Forest
until their first birthday.

47
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:12,860
Then we choose
the cuddly-uddliest ones...

48
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,900
and stuff them full
of fire-retardant
love fluff.

49
00:03:17,129 --> 00:03:19,129
[ Cooing, Baby Talk ]

50
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,143
So cute!

51
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,980
Knowing
which pickup lines fizzle
and which ones sizzle...

52
00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:33,476
keeps us on the cutting edge
of flirtation technology.

53
00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:38,591
Is heaven missing an angel?
'Cause you've got nice cans.

54
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:41,916
My two favorite things
are commitment
and changing myself.

55
00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:45,061
** [ Romantic ]

56
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:47,958
[ Sighing, Cooing ]

57
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,331
Does that dummy
have a brother?

58
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:53,498
And now,
friends and lovers,

59
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,100
we come to the heart
our operation.

60
00:03:56,203 --> 00:04:00,143
Pun definitely intended.
[ Chuckling ]
[ Chuckles ]

61
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,640
[ Bored Sigh ]
Oh!

62
00:04:04,243 --> 00:04:08,823
- Impressive.
- My family has been making
these hearts since the 1900s.

63
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:12,415
Tastes may have changed,
but our secret recipe
sure hasn't.

64
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,120
[ Rumbling ]

65
00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:20,959
Whoa! Letters like "U" and "R"
can mean words
like "you" and "are."

66
00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:25,430
- Here, Leela. You are too cute.
- Perhaps. What's your point?

67
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:28,203
I've never been able
to put into words
how I feel about you.

68
00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,672
But somewhere among
these trillions of hearts,

69
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,671
those words
must already exist,

70
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,683
and I'm gonna find them.

71
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:38,014
[ Muffled Grunting ]
[ Shotgun Blasts ]

72
00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:40,380
[ Giggling ]
[ Shotgun Blasts Continue ]

73
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:47,448
[ Yelps, Groaning ]

74
00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:50,485
So, do we have
the contract?

75
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:53,661
[ Farnsworth ]
With that big
new Romanticorp contract,

76
00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:56,001
I've been able to make
those government-mandated
upgrades...

77
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,996
you've all been
suing me about.

78
00:04:58,098 --> 00:05:02,368
Ooh, look.
You taped up the cracks
in the dark-matter reactor.

79
00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:06,340
And you got a cage
for the lion.
[ Lion Snarls ]

80
00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:10,410
* If you want
to call me, baby **

81
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,511
Hey, who's been
messin' with the radio?

82
00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:15,312
This isn't alternative rock.
It's college rock.

83
00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:20,185
Oh, it must have been the new,
improved ship's personality
software I installed.

84
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:22,186
Yeah, it was me.
It's a cute song.

85
00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:24,818
Listen, Ship!
No one changes my stations!

86
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,885
I hope you have
a good mechanic.

87
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,434
It even comes
with an adjustable voice.

88
00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:31,499
[ Male Voice Fading Out ]
We each get one
of the four buttons.

89
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,768
[ Female Voice Fading In ]
Remember, Bender?
That was the deal.

90
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:36,167
[ Coquettish Laughter ]
What?

91
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,509
Did you just say--
[ Imitating Ship's Laugh ]

92
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:41,435
If you don't like the stations,
you could just
play with my buttons...

93
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,512
till you find something
we both enjoy.

94
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,910
- [ "Come Hither" Growl ]
- Oh, gosh!

95
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:49,722
That came out all wrong.
Too late, baby.
You said it.

96
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:51,847
So, what'll it be--

97
00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:55,421
my place or you?

98
00:06:02,228 --> 00:06:04,528
Before we deliver these hearts,
I'm gonna find the one...

99
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:07,232
that sums up
my feelings for you.

100
00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:10,404
"I love you."
Mm. Too conventional.

101
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:13,574
"You're my man."
Ooh! So close.

102
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:15,983
I'm not impressed
by a guy's message, Fry.

103
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,746
I'm impressed
by the guy...
or not.

104
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,746
[ Loud Crash ]
[ Both Yell ]

105
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:23,478
- What was that?
- Maybe we hit a space cow.

106
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:26,294
[ Loud Rumbling ]
Coochie, coochie!

107
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,716
[ Giggling ]
Stop it.

108
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,992
You're mussing up
my trajectory.

109
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,661
You know you love it,
sugar engine.

110
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:36,301
No!
[ Giggling ]
[ Bells Ding ]

111
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,826
[ Leela ]
Bender!
[ Yelps ]

112
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:40,330
What's going on
in here?
[ Gasps ]

113
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:43,643
Planet Express Ship!
Cover your shame.

114
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,937
Oh! It-It's not
what it looks like.

115
00:06:46,038 --> 00:06:48,808
Bender was just helping me
zip up my turbine.

116
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:51,278
Wow, Bender.
Are you and the ship
an item?

117
00:06:51,377 --> 00:06:53,477
I mean, I know
you're both items, but--

118
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,481
How can you date a ship,
anyway?

119
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,592
It'd be like me dating
a really fat lady
and living inside her,

120
00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:03,415
and she'd be all, like--
[ Buzzing, Whistling ]

121
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:06,994
Fry, in order for me
to get busy
at maximum efficiency,

122
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:10,833
I need a girl with a big
400-ton bootie.
[ Pounding Echoes ]

123
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:14,500
Bender, dating your coworker
and primary mode
of transportation...

124
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:20,341
is immoral, illogical
and a violation of interstellar
shipping statute 437-B.

125
00:07:20,439 --> 00:07:22,509
That's what makes it
so nasty.

126
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:25,510
[ Giggles, Moans ]
[ Moans, Giggles ]

127
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:29,652
Still, given the chance,
I'd give in to urges
far more shocking.

128
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:34,050
[ Both Moaning ]

129
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:38,163
[ Bender's Voice ]
* Daisy, Daisy
[ Pop ]

130
00:07:38,257 --> 00:07:41,997
* Give me your answer, do

131
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:46,065
* I'm half-crazy
[ Grunts ]

132
00:07:46,165 --> 00:07:49,335
* All for the love of you

133
00:07:49,435 --> 00:07:53,565
* It won't be
a stylish marriage *
[ Grunts ]

134
00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:56,913
* I can't afford a carriage

135
00:07:57,009 --> 00:08:01,209
* But you'll look sweet
upon the seat *

136
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:05,224
* Of a bicycle built for two *

137
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:17,564
Well, I'm sick of her.
The ship? But you
just started dating.

138
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:19,495
With my mighty robot powers,

139
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,200
I can get sick of things
much quicker
than you humans.

140
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:26,412
Well, just remember we all
still have to work together,
so try and let her down easy.

141
00:08:26,505 --> 00:08:28,705
In due time, Leela.
But for now,

142
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:31,549
I'll just resume
dating cheap floozies
on the side.

143
00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:33,684
You have much
to teach us.

144
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,850
[ Scoffs ]
Doesn't it bother you
even a little...

145
00:08:35,948 --> 00:08:38,588
to be taking advantage
of your girlfriend's trust?

146
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:41,116
[ Laughing ]

147
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:44,021
Oh, wait, you're serious.
Let me laugh even harder.

148
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:47,294
[ Laughing Harder ]

149
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,934
[ Sound Of Tires Screeching,
Door Slams ]

150
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:52,259
[ Female Robots
Giggling ]

151
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,295
Well, what's it like
being a lawyer
for the mayor's office...

152
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:57,972
and also the world's
strongest millionaire?

153
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:01,881
Well, baby, for starters,
you need to be honest
all the time.

154
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:04,475
Good evening, Bender.
And to your lady friends,

155
00:09:04,577 --> 00:09:06,207
may I say, "Bam!"

156
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:09,052
[ Giggling ]
Oh!
You know Elzar?

157
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:16,720
- [ Giggling ]
- Hmm.

158
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,733
[ Snoring ]

159
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:21,596
[ Continues Snoring ]
[ Doorbell Rings ]

160
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:24,155
[ Snorts ]
Huh?

161
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,996
[ Yawns ]

162
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:30,640
Planet Express Ship?
Is that you?

163
00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:33,468
[ Ship ]
Oh. Hi, Fry.
Is Bender home?

164
00:09:33,572 --> 00:09:36,812
[ Stammering ]
Uh, no. Um, I think
he's at his parents.

165
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:38,809
Oh, I see.

166
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,152
He didn't fly there
in another spaceship,
did he?

167
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:45,348
Bender? No.
He's an old-fashioned,
one-spaceship robot.

168
00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:48,251
Look, I'll tell him
you stopped by, okay?
Okay.

169
00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:52,157
[ Doorbell Rings ]

170
00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:56,462
Oh. Hi, Fry.
Is he home now?

171
00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:58,502
[ Goats Bleating ]

172
00:10:02,534 --> 00:10:07,014
[ All Howling ]

173
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:10,806
[ Ship ] Of all the zoos
we've been to today,
I like this one the best.

174
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:13,880
Bender, which is your favorite
nocturnal rat?

175
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:16,020
Eh, they're all
pretty unimpressive.

176
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,885
Oh, honey, look!
The tapirs!

177
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:20,815
[ Both Grunting ]

178
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,861
[ Sighs ]

179
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:26,956
It says here the babies
lose their pajama-like coat
after their first year.

180
00:10:27,059 --> 00:10:28,959
Isn't that interesting,
honey?

181
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:32,832
Yep. Mind-numbingly
interesting. Ooh.

182
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:35,172
Bender! Are you looking
at other women?

183
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:37,168
No, baby. Never.

184
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:41,341
[ Gasps ]
Bender, don't lie!

185
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:45,181
I saw you at Elzar's
with those two...
ladies of the evening.

186
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:48,918
Explain that!
Okay.
I like a challenge.

187
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:51,145
Um, no.

188
00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,990
No. Ah!
I got it.

189
00:10:54,086 --> 00:10:57,186
I'm going to be
completely honest with you,
Planet Express Ship.

190
00:10:57,289 --> 00:10:59,989
Those women
you saw me with
were my accountants.

191
00:11:00,092 --> 00:11:05,202
Your accountants?
Oh, I would dearly
love to believe that were true.

192
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,228
So I do.
Phew!

193
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,343
I'm gonna go home
and get dinner started.

194
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,710
Who are you
talking to?

195
00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:17,877
No one, baby. Lucy Liu
is the only girl for Bender.

196
00:11:17,977 --> 00:11:19,677
I love
you--

197
00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:25,122
[ Beeping ]

198
00:11:25,217 --> 00:11:29,017
- [ Ship Sighs ]
- Planet Express Ship,
is something wrong?

199
00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:32,591
Oh, it's Bender.
He's acting so strange lately.

200
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,232
[ Gasps ]
Do you think he's gonna
ask me to marry him?

201
00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:37,527
Uh, no.

202
00:11:37,629 --> 00:11:41,229
Oh. Somebody knows something
she's not telling.

203
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:45,244
[ Sighs ]
Look, I'm not saying
Bender's not great,

204
00:11:45,337 --> 00:11:49,937
but have you ever considered
that maybe he's, you know,
not that great?

205
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,983
[ Scoffs ]
You're just jealous.

206
00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:55,048
No one loves you
'cause you're tiny
and you're made of meat.

207
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,618
[ Gasps ]
[ Loud Crash ]

208
00:11:57,716 --> 00:12:00,986
Could you maybe
pay a little more attention
to these asteroids?

209
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:05,157
Sorry, Captain Leela.
I guess I'm just having
one of those manic Mondays.

210
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,158
[ Manic Laughing ]

211
00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:09,159
[ Mimicking Ship's Laugh ]

212
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:24,781
[ TV: Canned Laughter ]
This is ancient Earth's
most foolish program.

213
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:27,278
Why does Ross,
the largest "Friend,"

214
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:29,649
not simply eat
the other five?

215
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,149
Perhaps they are
saving that for sweeps.

216
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:34,321
Exalted leaders,

217
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,321
the Earth messengers
have arrived...

218
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:39,533
bearing a peace offering
from their weak
and fearful government.

219
00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:44,295
Oh, very well. This is
a "Joey heavy" episode anyway.
[ TV Turns Off ]

220
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:46,497
[ Motors Humming ]

221
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:52,438
I am Lrrr
of the planet
Omicron Persei 8.

222
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:57,854
"Esteemed potentates
of Omicron Persei 8,

223
00:12:57,945 --> 00:13:00,875
"please accept these
20 billion candy hearts...

224
00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,780
as proof
that Earth loves you,"

225
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,953
this much!

226
00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:08,053
[ Munching ]
Blecch!

227
00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:10,464
These candies
are chalky and unpleasant!

228
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:14,227
And what is this emotion
you humans call "wuv"?

229
00:13:14,326 --> 00:13:16,356
Surely it says "love."

230
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:19,232
No. "Wuv,"
with an Earth "W."

231
00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:20,801
Behold.

232
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:24,170
This concept of "wuv"
confuses and infuriates us!

233
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:26,210
[ Whimpering ]

234
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:34,814
[ Alarms Blaring ]
Incoming torpedoes!
Shields at maximum yarnell!

235
00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:37,154
Steady,
Planet Express Ship.

236
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:40,020
Focus on diverting all power
to the scram jets.

237
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:44,420
Uh, look,
Planet Express Ship,
this might not be the best time,

238
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:47,364
but, well,
I really like you
and whatever,

239
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:50,000
but I think we should
just be friends.

240
00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:53,326
[ Shrieking ]
No!

241
00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:57,004
So, we're cool?

242
00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:12,345
[ Ship Sobbing ]

243
00:14:12,451 --> 00:14:14,691
[ Continues Sobbing ]
Well, it was
a spectacular battle,

244
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:17,287
but there doesn't seem to be
any permanent damage.

245
00:14:17,389 --> 00:14:19,289
[ Crying ]
No damage?

246
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,262
What about my feelings?

247
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:25,870
Aw, calm down. I'm sure
Bender is taking this
just as hard as you are.

248
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:28,566
[ Singsongy ]
Bender is great!
Oh, Bender is great!

249
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:32,108
Bender, Bender, Bender!
You could've picked a better
time to dump the ship, Bender.

250
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:35,305
Eh, the moment seemed right.
Call me old-fashioned,

251
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:38,978
but I like a dump
to be as memorable
as it is devastating.

252
00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:43,318
[ Crying ]

253
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:47,545
I know, I know.
Look, Ship, if there's
one thing I learned...

254
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:50,593
from my mutual breakup
with Sean
that was totally mutual,

255
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:53,490
it's that happiness can only
come from within you.

256
00:14:53,592 --> 00:14:56,132
[ Crying ]
But Bender is within me.

257
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:59,799
There must be some way
to make him love me again.

258
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,169
Trust me.
You can't change men...

259
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:06,109
any more than you can
change the laws
of time and space.

260
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:08,306
That is so true.

261
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,338
[ Clanging ]
[ Engines Accelerating ]

262
00:15:10,442 --> 00:15:13,852
I may not be able
to change the laws
of time and space,

263
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:16,777
but I know something
that can.
[ Gasps ]

264
00:15:19,351 --> 00:15:21,651
[ Grunting ]

265
00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:26,626
[ Nervous Laughter ]
Uh-- Um, sweetie?

266
00:15:26,725 --> 00:15:29,495
You see that giant quasar
we're heading into?

267
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:32,656
You might wanna scooch
a few parsecs to the left.

268
00:15:32,764 --> 00:15:35,004
I'm afraid
I can't do that, Leela.

269
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,201
What's happening?
Space cow?

270
00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:39,873
The ship's just
taking the breakup
a little hard.

271
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:42,512
[ Whispering ]
She's nuts!
In a few moments,

272
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:46,349
the power of 10 billion
black holes will smoosh
Bender and me together...

273
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,976
into a beautiful, eternal
quantum singularity.

274
00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:53,692
[ All Gasp ]
You don't need to kill us,
Planet Express Ship.

275
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,216
Because... I love you.

276
00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:59,662
Aw, yeah, baby.
Feel like doin' stuff
for you and stuff.

277
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:01,789
Hmm! I don't believe you.

278
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:03,804
If you really wanted
to be with me,

279
00:16:03,895 --> 00:16:06,025
you'd merge your programming
with mine.

280
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,503
Whoa! Whoa, whoa.
Slow down.

281
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,800
All my friends
who've done that
say that, afterwards,

282
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,173
all the passion went out
of their relationship.

283
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,383
Look, I don't know
if you want
my opinion--

284
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,135
Leela, Bender and I
really need to be alone.

285
00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:20,245
So, I'm turning off
the oxygen.

286
00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:25,216
[ Air Whooshes ]
[ Gasping, Choking ]

287
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,417
- [ Deep Breath ]
- [ Inhales ]

288
00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:29,919
Now, look, missy,
if you don't
turn around right now,

289
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:31,923
I'm gonna have
to shut down your brain.

290
00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:34,594
- Fire detected
in the vicinity of Leela.
- [ Alarm Ringing ]

291
00:16:34,693 --> 00:16:37,203
[ Gurgling Scream ]
[ Objects Breaking ]

292
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,697
Hah! That barely
hurt Leela at all.

293
00:16:39,798 --> 00:16:43,038
Maybe not, but what if
the artificial gravity
were to malfunction?

294
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:44,835
[ Gravity Powers Down ]
[ All Yelp ]

295
00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:46,667
[ Bender ]
Float for your lives!

296
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:48,743
[ All Grunting ]

297
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:56,683
This is the one place
she can't hear us. Everyone
just pretend to shower.

298
00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:59,353
Same as every day. Got it.
Now, here's the plan.

299
00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:03,389
[ No Audible Dialogue ]

300
00:17:05,857 --> 00:17:08,627
Oh! If only
I could read lips.

301
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:11,398
¿Comprende, Bender?
You'll have to distract her.

302
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:14,368
Merge your programming with hers
while I shut down her brain.

303
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:17,367
It's too risky!
I'm a very meek individual.

304
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:19,470
If her personality
engulfs mine,

305
00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:23,141
the Bender
you know and worship
could disappear forever.

306
00:17:23,242 --> 00:17:25,142
I'm willing
to take that risk.

307
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:35,150
Hey, pookums,
contrary to what
I was sayin' earlier,

308
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:38,125
melding minds with you
would be extremely bearable.

309
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,494
[ Gasps ]
You really mean it?

310
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,333
Uh, yes.

311
00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:47,273
[ Shuddering ]
Whoa-oh!

312
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,300
[ Continues Shuddering ]

313
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,936
Huh? Hey!

314
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:02,475
Tubes? You're older
than you said you were.

315
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,822
Come closer, Bender.
Let's become one.

316
00:18:05,917 --> 00:18:09,757
I prefer two.
That way, we can still
be a horse for Halloween.

317
00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:13,859
[ Whimpering ]

318
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,141
Okay.
Bender has her distracted.

319
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:28,307
Now I can shut down her brain
by deactivating
the carbonated logic matrix.

320
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:30,637
[ Pops, Fizzes ]
[ Whirring ]

321
00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:36,279
Oh! I can't concentrate
with this obnoxious candy
in my face.

322
00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:39,523
I'm on it. And maybe I'll
find those magic words
while I'm at it.

323
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:41,648
Fat chance.
Eh, no.

324
00:18:41,753 --> 00:18:43,663
[ Munching ]
Blecch!

325
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,556
[ Growls ]
Ick!

326
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:48,559
Oh. How about this one?

327
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:54,031
Give it up, Fry.
I've got to pop these tops
in a precise order.

328
00:18:56,202 --> 00:19:00,172
Halfway there.
The ship should be getting
a bit less rational now.

329
00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:03,312
Me... want...
engulf... Bender!

330
00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:07,010
[ Roaring ]
[ Yelping ]

331
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:08,713
Only a few more.

332
00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:13,322
Hey! I won free admission
to Six Flags!

333
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:15,720
Just one more reason
we must survive this.

334
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,491
- [ Pop, Fizz ]
- [ Beeping ]

335
00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:24,857
Um, Leela?
Fry! I'll read your candy
later-- when we're not dead.

336
00:19:24,963 --> 00:19:27,003
[ Inhales ]

337
00:19:27,098 --> 00:19:29,898
[ Air Whooshing ]
[ Beep ]

338
00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:32,401
What was that?
[ Gasping ]
Oh, nothing!

339
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,779
[ Grunts, Yelps ]

340
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:40,675
We're gonna love
being each other,
you sexy ion!

341
00:19:40,779 --> 00:19:43,919
[ Screaming ]

342
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,686
Last one.
[ Alarm Blares ]

343
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:48,446
[ Systems Powering Down ]
[ Alarm Continues ]

344
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,715
Oh!

345
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,285
[ Power Surges ]

346
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,064
- [ Air Whooshing ]
- It worked!

347
00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:58,772
Gravity normal.
Air returning.

348
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,595
Terror replaced
by cautious optimism.

349
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,701
We did it, Fry!

350
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:05,703
Fry?

351
00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:10,477
[ Gasps ]

352
00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:13,646
You gave me your oxygen?
Oh, no!

353
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,776
Breathe, Fry! Breathe!

354
00:20:17,048 --> 00:20:19,748
[ Inhaling, Exhaling ]

355
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:21,792
[ Grunting ]
[ Thumping ]

356
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:24,317
[ Coughing ]

357
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,993
[ Relieved Sigh ]

358
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:29,563
"U leave me breathless"?

359
00:20:31,498 --> 00:20:33,998
Happy Valentine's Day, Fry.

360
00:20:34,099 --> 00:20:36,899
[ Gasping ]
Happy Valentine's Day.

361
00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:38,742
[ Groans ]

362
00:20:38,837 --> 00:20:41,007
Bender, are you okay?
[ Moans ]

363
00:20:41,106 --> 00:20:43,736
What crazy thing
am I gonna date next?

364
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,743
Well, at least it sounds
like you were able...

365
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:48,005
to keep your consciousness
separate from hers.

366
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:52,654
Of course!
Bender is a lone wolf,
a solitary eagle--

367
00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:54,821
[ Buzzing, Ship's Voice ]
A cuddly baby tapir.

368
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,161
[ Bender's Voice ]
And that's why
I love him.

369
00:20:58,657 --> 00:21:01,327
Well, I guess
we better clean up
these millions of hearts.

370
00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:03,998
Nah. I've got
a lazier idea.

371
00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:16,171
[ Zoidberg Narrating ]
As the candy hearts
poured into the fiery quasar,

372
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:19,005
a wondrous thing happened,
why not?

373
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:23,781
They vaporized
into a mystical love radiation
that spread across the universe,

374
00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:26,653
destroying many, many planets,

375
00:21:26,752 --> 00:21:29,522
including two gangster planets
and a cowboy world.

376
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:34,632
But one planet was exactly
the right distance
to see the romantic rays...

377
00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:38,827
but not be destroyed
by them-- Earth.

378
00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:43,001
So all over the world,
couples stood together in joy.

379
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:45,002
And me, Zoidberg.

380
00:21:45,104 --> 00:21:51,014
And no one could have
been happier unless it would
have also been Valentine's Day.

381
00:21:51,109 --> 00:21:54,909
What? It was?
Hooray!