1 00:00:33,930 --> 00:00:36,760 ANNOUNCER: Dateline Tarantulon 6. 2 00:00:36,826 --> 00:00:38,446 The brave warriors of Earth 3 00:00:38,517 --> 00:00:41,657 under the command of General Major Webelo Zapp Brannigan 4 00:00:41,723 --> 00:00:45,003 have achieved victory over the Spider home-world. 5 00:00:48,723 --> 00:00:51,793 And to the victor belong the spoils. 6 00:00:51,862 --> 00:00:55,522 One trillion dollars in silken treasure. 7 00:00:55,585 --> 00:00:57,785 Mm. 8 00:00:57,862 --> 00:00:59,762 My fellow Earthicans 9 00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:01,996 after meeting with top voodoo economists 10 00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:04,687 I have decided to refund our silk surplus 11 00:01:04,757 --> 00:01:06,407 to you, the taxpayers. 12 00:01:06,481 --> 00:01:10,241 That's right. I've sent you each 300 buckaroos 13 00:01:10,310 --> 00:01:12,520 in the form of a Tricky Dick fun bill. 14 00:01:12,585 --> 00:01:14,615 Knock yourselves out. 15 00:01:15,757 --> 00:01:16,997 [ excited murmuring] 16 00:01:17,067 --> 00:01:18,657 I'm slightly richer. 17 00:01:18,724 --> 00:01:20,454 What to do? What to do? 18 00:01:20,516 --> 00:01:24,376 One $300 hookerbot or 300 one-dollar hookerbots? 19 00:01:24,448 --> 00:01:25,858 I'm going to swim with a whale. 20 00:01:25,930 --> 00:01:28,030 They're the gentle giants of the deep. 21 00:01:28,103 --> 00:01:29,793 I'm well aware of that. 22 00:01:29,861 --> 00:01:33,171 Scruffy's going to get himself one of them $300 haircuts. 23 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,340 This one's lost it's pizzazz. 24 00:01:36,412 --> 00:01:37,762 A fortune, it is. 25 00:01:37,826 --> 00:01:41,756 At last, Zoidberg will live like a rich man. 26 00:01:41,826 --> 00:01:43,376 [ smooching] 27 00:01:43,448 --> 00:01:44,588 Go away. Get away from me. 28 00:01:44,655 --> 00:01:47,025 Shmeesh. It's just 300 bucks. 29 00:01:47,103 --> 00:01:49,213 What is that, like, a hundred cups of coffee? 30 00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:50,405 That's it! 31 00:01:50,481 --> 00:01:51,931 I'm getting a hundred cups of coffee 32 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,410 starting now. 33 00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,931 Coffee machine, one cup of coffee please. 34 00:02:00,757 --> 00:02:01,687 Smells good. 35 00:02:01,757 --> 00:02:02,967 [ slurps] 36 00:02:03,034 --> 00:02:04,594 [ ding] 37 00:02:04,655 --> 00:02:06,965 Leela, are you there? 38 00:02:07,034 --> 00:02:07,764 No. 39 00:02:07,826 --> 00:02:09,336 Oh, yes, you are. 40 00:02:09,413 --> 00:02:11,933 I'm hereby inviting you and your oddball coworkers 41 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,340 to a special reception 42 00:02:13,413 --> 00:02:16,173 to display the national silk surplus. 43 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:19,620 I believe you know the heroic space stallion who captured it. 44 00:02:19,688 --> 00:02:21,518 Show them my medal, Kif. 45 00:02:21,586 --> 00:02:24,406 [ sighs]: He rented it with his tax refund. 46 00:02:24,481 --> 00:02:27,661 So, Leela, will you have the pleasure? 47 00:02:27,723 --> 00:02:29,693 What little there is to be had. 48 00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:31,168 Tomorrow night at 8:00 then. 49 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:32,480 Smooches. 50 00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:42,096 No cheap crack houses for me no more. 51 00:02:45,550 --> 00:02:46,690 Very good, sir. 52 00:02:46,758 --> 00:02:49,788 Shall I prewarm sir's crack pipe? 53 00:02:51,861 --> 00:02:54,281 [ panting] 54 00:02:54,343 --> 00:02:56,523 Oh, Kif 55 00:02:56,586 --> 00:02:59,066 it was so romantic of you to rent this paddle plane 56 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:00,407 with your tax rebate. 57 00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:02,141 We're like two dandelion seeds 58 00:03:02,205 --> 00:03:03,515 wafting on the breeze. 59 00:03:03,586 --> 00:03:05,206 [ panting]: Yes. Seeds. 60 00:03:05,275 --> 00:03:06,855 Wafting. 61 00:03:06,931 --> 00:03:08,241 I almost feel kind of shallow 62 00:03:08,310 --> 00:03:09,310 for blowing my rebate 63 00:03:09,378 --> 00:03:10,968 on this cool talking tattoo. 64 00:03:11,033 --> 00:03:12,483 Hey, Gordon Gecko. 65 00:03:12,550 --> 00:03:14,660 I cost as much as this whole crummy date. 66 00:03:14,723 --> 00:03:15,903 Shut up! 67 00:03:15,965 --> 00:03:16,925 Ow! 68 00:03:20,758 --> 00:03:23,658 Ma'am, it has become too much of a chore 69 00:03:23,723 --> 00:03:26,103 for me to clean out my wrinkles each day. 70 00:03:26,171 --> 00:03:29,861 Is it true that stem cells may fight the aging process? 71 00:03:29,931 --> 00:03:31,661 Well, yes, in the same way 72 00:03:31,723 --> 00:03:33,623 an infant may fight Muhammad Ali, but... 73 00:03:33,688 --> 00:03:36,238 One pound of stem cells please. 74 00:03:38,896 --> 00:03:40,656 Of course, any age-reversing effects 75 00:03:40,723 --> 00:03:43,073 will be purely temporary... 76 00:03:43,137 --> 00:03:44,307 [ groans] 77 00:03:44,378 --> 00:03:47,618 [ humming] 78 00:03:50,896 --> 00:03:52,856 Oh. 79 00:03:52,930 --> 00:03:54,310 Ooh. 80 00:03:55,481 --> 00:03:58,101 Ooh-hoo-hoo. 81 00:04:00,310 --> 00:04:02,690 Oh! Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho. 82 00:04:02,758 --> 00:04:06,068 Say, buddy, why is this Grand Cigar so pricey? 83 00:04:06,137 --> 00:04:07,757 Well, as you can see 84 00:04:07,826 --> 00:04:11,406 its wrapper is a piece of the original U.S. Constitution. 85 00:04:11,481 --> 00:04:15,451 It was hand-rolled by Queen Elizabeth during her wild years 86 00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:17,646 and was buried with George Burns 87 00:04:17,723 --> 00:04:20,343 until grave-robbing space mushrooms... 88 00:04:20,413 --> 00:04:21,903 Well, you know the rest. 89 00:04:21,964 --> 00:04:23,524 Give you 300 bucks for it. 90 00:04:23,586 --> 00:04:26,236 No can do. Oh, all right. 91 00:04:26,310 --> 00:04:29,550 I'll just take these $300 burglar's tools then. 92 00:04:29,620 --> 00:04:30,790 Very good, sir. 93 00:04:30,862 --> 00:04:32,002 [ cash register rings] 94 00:04:32,067 --> 00:04:35,137 So, uh, what time you close tonight? 95 00:04:37,172 --> 00:04:39,272 Hey, Pops. Did that tax rebate come? 96 00:04:39,343 --> 00:04:40,723 Came and went. 97 00:04:40,793 --> 00:04:44,143 You're now the proud owner of Bamboo Boogie Boots. 98 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,720 With a warning label this big 99 00:04:46,793 --> 00:04:48,343 you know they got to be fun. 100 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,343 But, Pops, I don't want to have fun. 101 00:04:50,413 --> 00:04:53,453 I want to be like you-- boring, but prudently invested. 102 00:04:53,516 --> 00:04:54,926 Babylon's bells! 103 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,030 I tallied almost 300 bananas 104 00:04:57,103 --> 00:04:58,343 on this entertainment product. 105 00:04:58,413 --> 00:05:00,103 Now you put them on and have fun. 106 00:05:00,172 --> 00:05:01,312 I don't wanna! 107 00:05:01,379 --> 00:05:02,929 Well, then I'm gonna put them on 108 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,310 and make you watch me have fun. 109 00:05:04,379 --> 00:05:05,379 See? 110 00:05:05,447 --> 00:05:07,857 Fun, fun... FUN! 111 00:05:07,930 --> 00:05:10,100 Dwight! Help me! 112 00:05:10,172 --> 00:05:11,692 I'll save you, Pops. 113 00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:22,689 [ loud music playing] 114 00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:23,687 Hey! 115 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:26,647 Turn that damn music... 116 00:05:26,723 --> 00:05:28,483 up. 117 00:05:28,550 --> 00:05:29,590 [ yelps] 118 00:05:29,654 --> 00:05:31,174 Isn't this fun? 119 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:32,170 No! 120 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,590 I wish I had two mommies. 121 00:05:34,654 --> 00:05:37,004 Try these, uh... sir. 122 00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:38,857 [ snorting] 123 00:05:38,930 --> 00:05:42,860 I ask for rich guy stuff and you give me shiny pebbles?! 124 00:05:42,930 --> 00:05:43,930 Bah! 125 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,070 I bid you adieu. 126 00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:48,722 [ glass shatters] 127 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:52,720 Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo! 128 00:05:57,413 --> 00:05:59,623 I'd like a pass to swim with Mushu, please. 129 00:05:59,689 --> 00:06:01,269 Well, you asked the right guy. 130 00:06:01,343 --> 00:06:02,793 I'm the whale biologist. 131 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,452 Though, personally, I hate whales. 132 00:06:04,516 --> 00:06:06,266 [ sotto voce]: Especially Mushu. 133 00:06:06,343 --> 00:06:08,523 Then why'd you become a whale biologist? 134 00:06:08,586 --> 00:06:10,686 I don't know you well enough to get into that. 135 00:06:10,757 --> 00:06:11,897 $300 please. 136 00:06:11,964 --> 00:06:13,524 Noon tomorrow. 137 00:06:13,586 --> 00:06:15,926 If you're late, you only get to tread water 138 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,140 in the scallop tank. 139 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,410 Yeah, I'll have a coffee. 140 00:06:22,481 --> 00:06:24,071 Guppy, trout, mermaid or... 141 00:06:24,137 --> 00:06:25,337 Whale, please. 142 00:06:26,343 --> 00:06:27,483 [ slurps] 143 00:06:27,550 --> 00:06:29,210 [ ding] 144 00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:33,860 [ panting] 145 00:06:33,930 --> 00:06:37,210 Amy, I... I also spent some of my tax rebate 146 00:06:37,274 --> 00:06:40,174 on a gift... for you. 147 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,070 Oh, Kiffy. 148 00:06:42,137 --> 00:06:46,377 It shows the time wherever we both are. 149 00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:48,647 And it's powered by love. 150 00:06:48,723 --> 00:06:50,313 Also you have to wind it. 151 00:06:50,379 --> 00:06:53,479 Ooh! Somebody won big at skeeball. 152 00:06:53,550 --> 00:06:54,480 You shut up. 153 00:06:54,550 --> 00:06:55,930 I love it, Kif. 154 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,270 I'll use it whenever I want to know what time it is. 155 00:06:58,343 --> 00:07:00,003 [ mwah] 156 00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:01,897 Ooh, it's Fry and Leela. 157 00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,384 Hi, Fry and Leela! 158 00:07:03,447 --> 00:07:04,897 Ah! 159 00:07:04,964 --> 00:07:06,654 Ooh! Oh, my...! Keep pedaling. 160 00:07:06,723 --> 00:07:08,693 Oh, for the love of God, keep pedaling. 161 00:07:08,757 --> 00:07:10,407 [ bubbling][ yelling] 162 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,240 [ sighs] 163 00:07:18,310 --> 00:07:20,620 Bye, Fry and Leela! 164 00:07:21,826 --> 00:07:22,756 [ stammering] 165 00:07:22,826 --> 00:07:23,996 Oh. 166 00:07:25,274 --> 00:07:26,624 [ chomps] 167 00:07:30,172 --> 00:07:31,692 Oh! 168 00:07:31,757 --> 00:07:34,967 I can't wait till the tattoos on Amy's butt hear about this. 169 00:07:35,033 --> 00:07:36,383 Hear about what?Tell us. 170 00:07:36,447 --> 00:07:38,067 [ horse whinnies] 171 00:07:42,172 --> 00:07:43,792 [ sobbing] 172 00:07:43,862 --> 00:07:46,622 Don't feel sad, my little tadpole. 173 00:07:46,689 --> 00:07:49,829 [ sobbing]: I'm trying not to. 174 00:07:49,896 --> 00:07:53,306 But my gift to you is in the belly of a whale. 175 00:07:53,379 --> 00:07:55,589 Say, this reminds me of that time 176 00:07:55,654 --> 00:07:57,794 I ate that other watch Kif gave you. 177 00:07:57,862 --> 00:07:59,972 Hey, it is kind of like that. 178 00:08:00,033 --> 00:08:02,453 To induce vomiting, that was the solution. 179 00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,336 Everywhere it went. 180 00:08:04,413 --> 00:08:05,863 [ chuckles] 181 00:08:05,930 --> 00:08:08,410 What a Valentine's Day that was. 182 00:08:08,481 --> 00:08:09,551 Hmm. 183 00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:12,100 This may seem like a huge coincidence 184 00:08:12,172 --> 00:08:14,312 but I happen to have an "in" with that whale. 185 00:08:14,379 --> 00:08:16,209 Scruffy's formulated a plan. 186 00:08:16,274 --> 00:08:19,414 But you'll need a ready source of nauseating rotten fish. 187 00:08:21,516 --> 00:08:23,516 Freshen your coffee, sir? 188 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:24,856 Yeah-yeah, yeah. Keep it coming. 189 00:08:24,930 --> 00:08:26,340 Put the pot down. Get away! 190 00:08:26,413 --> 00:08:27,413 [ slurps] 191 00:08:27,481 --> 00:08:28,651 [ ding] 192 00:08:31,757 --> 00:08:33,407 You're so young in spirit. 193 00:08:33,481 --> 00:08:36,621 It's hard to believe you're as old as 25. 194 00:08:36,688 --> 00:08:39,858 The key is to grab life by the ho-jos. 195 00:08:39,931 --> 00:08:42,721 Live every day like it might be your last. 196 00:08:42,793 --> 00:08:44,143 What'll it be, kids? 197 00:08:44,206 --> 00:08:47,066 One bowl of mild farina. 198 00:08:47,136 --> 00:08:48,996 [ gurgling] 199 00:08:55,620 --> 00:08:57,170 Paydirt. 200 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,650 Hee-ya! 201 00:09:01,413 --> 00:09:02,553 [ whistles] 202 00:09:04,309 --> 00:09:05,759 Here you go, big spender. 203 00:09:05,826 --> 00:09:08,786 Foie gras and caviar. 204 00:09:08,861 --> 00:09:11,451 [ sniffing]: Goose liver? 205 00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:13,307 Fish eggs? Feh! 206 00:09:13,379 --> 00:09:15,759 Where's the goose? Where's the fish? 207 00:09:15,826 --> 00:09:17,516 Hey, that's what rich people eat 208 00:09:17,586 --> 00:09:19,266 the garbage parts of the food. 209 00:09:19,344 --> 00:09:23,174 I ate garbage yesterday and it didn't cost me $300! 210 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:24,590 I'm not paying! 211 00:09:24,654 --> 00:09:25,834 Farewell, good sir. 212 00:09:25,895 --> 00:09:28,475 Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo! 213 00:09:52,481 --> 00:09:54,831 The Grand Cigar, she is mine. 214 00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:57,855 And with absolutely no consequences. 215 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,341 [ chuckles] 216 00:09:59,413 --> 00:10:00,343 [ beep] 217 00:10:02,965 --> 00:10:04,585 [ beeping] 218 00:10:14,965 --> 00:10:15,965 You see that? 219 00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,693 Grand theft tobacco. 220 00:10:17,758 --> 00:10:21,478 Time to get off our fat cop asses and ride. 221 00:10:21,551 --> 00:10:23,971 [ siren] 222 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,270 [ snoring] 223 00:10:31,861 --> 00:10:33,211 P.U.! 224 00:10:33,274 --> 00:10:36,624 This fish is slightly too rotten to even make jambalaya. 225 00:10:42,274 --> 00:10:43,484 So far, so good. 226 00:10:43,551 --> 00:10:44,831 Where's Kif? 227 00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:46,895 [ groans] 228 00:10:52,172 --> 00:10:53,142 [ ding] 229 00:10:53,206 --> 00:10:55,646 This isn't Yemeni, it's Sulawesi. 230 00:10:55,724 --> 00:10:56,904 And the cup's shaking. 231 00:10:56,965 --> 00:10:58,515 I don't want my coffee shaking. 232 00:10:58,586 --> 00:11:00,446 You seem a tad wound up, buddy. 233 00:11:00,517 --> 00:11:02,097 And your face is greasy. 234 00:11:02,172 --> 00:11:03,592 Real greasy. 235 00:11:03,654 --> 00:11:04,794 You been up all night? 236 00:11:04,861 --> 00:11:05,931 Of course I've been up all night! 237 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,550 Not because of caffeine. It was insomnia. 238 00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:09,000 I couldn't stop thinking about coffee. 239 00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:10,587 I need a nap. [ snores] 240 00:11:10,654 --> 00:11:11,594 Coffee time! 241 00:11:11,654 --> 00:11:12,594 [ gulping] 242 00:11:12,654 --> 00:11:13,694 [ ding] 243 00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:15,895 [ sniffs] 244 00:11:15,965 --> 00:11:16,965 Ah. 245 00:11:17,033 --> 00:11:18,413 Mighty fine smokable. 246 00:11:18,481 --> 00:11:19,411 Fancy cigar? 247 00:11:19,481 --> 00:11:20,551 Why don't you smoke it already? 248 00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:22,070 Puff, puff. Go, go, go, go, go! 249 00:11:22,136 --> 00:11:25,306 Nah, you can't blow a smoke from such a majestic stogie 250 00:11:25,379 --> 00:11:26,719 in just anyone's face. 251 00:11:26,793 --> 00:11:28,453 I'm saving it for the fancy pantsies 252 00:11:28,517 --> 00:11:30,517 at Zapp Brannigan's black-tie reception. 253 00:11:30,586 --> 00:11:31,616 You coming? 254 00:11:31,688 --> 00:11:35,028 [ juddering] 255 00:11:37,136 --> 00:11:38,896 And the fifth reason whales kill 256 00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,445 is for the sheer fun of it. 257 00:11:40,517 --> 00:11:41,547 Anything else? 258 00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:43,380 Yeah-- you're lumpy and you smell awful. 259 00:11:43,447 --> 00:11:44,407 Hey. 260 00:11:44,481 --> 00:11:45,931 I calls them like I sees them. 261 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,310 I'm a whale biologist. 262 00:11:48,931 --> 00:11:52,621 Okay, Mushu, it's feeding time. 263 00:11:55,033 --> 00:11:56,973 [ chomping] 264 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:01,520 [ gasps] 265 00:12:01,586 --> 00:12:04,716 Oh, crud, he ate my suit. 266 00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:06,073 The suit was ugly. 267 00:12:06,136 --> 00:12:07,406 Whale biologist. 268 00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:11,758 [ grunts] 269 00:12:14,447 --> 00:12:15,647 [ groans] 270 00:12:15,724 --> 00:12:17,834 Perhaps if you tighten your grip, sir. 271 00:12:17,895 --> 00:12:20,925 Ah, thank you, golf slave. 272 00:12:22,379 --> 00:12:25,069 Bah! Rich people wouldn't waste their time on this nonsense. 273 00:12:25,136 --> 00:12:27,376 Plus, these eggs are gritty and tasteless. 274 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:28,587 [ spitting] 275 00:12:30,931 --> 00:12:33,721 [ erotic moaning] 276 00:12:33,793 --> 00:12:34,653 Ow! 277 00:12:34,724 --> 00:12:36,244 Not so rough! 278 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:43,211 Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Mushu 279 00:12:43,274 --> 00:12:47,274 the educated whale who thinks he's better than you. 280 00:12:47,344 --> 00:12:48,974 [ applause] 281 00:12:49,033 --> 00:12:51,523 Come on, Mushu, barf! 282 00:12:51,586 --> 00:12:53,406 Barf like a freshman! 283 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,411 And now, ignorant whale lovers 284 00:12:55,481 --> 00:12:56,761 we'll see who's boss 285 00:12:56,826 --> 00:12:59,306 as I make Mushu jump through this hoop. 286 00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:00,829 Jump, Mushu. 287 00:13:02,551 --> 00:13:05,451 [ gagging and coughing] 288 00:13:05,517 --> 00:13:07,587 MAN: Who wants a fish? 289 00:13:14,517 --> 00:13:16,587 Mushu is sad. 290 00:13:16,654 --> 00:13:19,454 It just keeps coming and coming. 291 00:13:19,517 --> 00:13:21,687 [ humming] 292 00:13:22,965 --> 00:13:24,825 Wait... that chunk! 293 00:13:24,895 --> 00:13:26,645 It's the watch. 294 00:13:27,965 --> 00:13:30,895 [ cheering] 295 00:13:30,965 --> 00:13:32,515 I got it, Amy, I got it. 296 00:13:32,586 --> 00:13:34,546 The plan went off without a... 297 00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:35,860 He's got aquarium property! 298 00:13:35,931 --> 00:13:36,861 Stop him! 299 00:13:36,931 --> 00:13:38,411 Better do what he says! 300 00:13:38,481 --> 00:13:40,001 He's a whale biologist. 301 00:13:41,826 --> 00:13:43,266 You're under arrest, you squishy punk! 302 00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:44,344 Oh... 303 00:13:44,413 --> 00:13:45,793 [ glass shattering] 304 00:13:45,861 --> 00:13:46,901 Oh. 305 00:13:46,965 --> 00:13:47,995 [ choking sound] 306 00:13:48,067 --> 00:13:49,997 [ retching] 307 00:13:58,758 --> 00:14:00,208 [ screaming] 308 00:14:00,274 --> 00:14:01,764 ZAPP: The Spiderians-- 309 00:14:01,826 --> 00:14:04,446 though weak and womanlike on the battlefield-- 310 00:14:04,517 --> 00:14:06,307 are masters of the textile arts. 311 00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:08,239 Taste like King Crab, by the way. 312 00:14:08,309 --> 00:14:11,139 Crazy bugs actually wove this tapestry 313 00:14:11,206 --> 00:14:12,826 of my heroic conquest 314 00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:15,205 while I was still killing them. 315 00:14:16,895 --> 00:14:18,065 [ sniffing] 316 00:14:18,136 --> 00:14:20,306 What? It's not even scratch-and-sniff? 317 00:14:20,379 --> 00:14:23,409 But if rich people think it's good, I'll buy it. 318 00:14:23,481 --> 00:14:25,141 One art, please. 319 00:14:25,206 --> 00:14:27,136 [ laughing] 320 00:14:27,206 --> 00:14:30,406 What a clever impersonation of a stupid poor person! 321 00:14:30,481 --> 00:14:33,931 How much is that place mat actually worth, Brannigan? 322 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,270 Exactly $1 billion. 323 00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:40,724 Now that'swalkin' around money. 324 00:14:42,344 --> 00:14:43,414 [ blowing nose] 325 00:14:43,481 --> 00:14:44,721 NIXON: What? Hey? [ howls] 326 00:14:56,724 --> 00:14:58,524 [ bell dings] 327 00:14:58,586 --> 00:15:00,096 So I said to Kitty 328 00:15:00,172 --> 00:15:03,552 the only way to keep the butler from running away 329 00:15:03,620 --> 00:15:05,270 is to cut off his foot. 330 00:15:05,344 --> 00:15:06,274 Ah... ha-ha. 331 00:15:06,344 --> 00:15:07,484 Uh-huh. 332 00:15:07,551 --> 00:15:09,721 Yes, it reminds me of a joke I heard 333 00:15:09,793 --> 00:15:11,763 about upper middle-class people. 334 00:15:11,826 --> 00:15:13,306 [ coughing] 335 00:15:16,517 --> 00:15:19,687 [ sobbing]: I've never been sad at a party before. 336 00:15:19,758 --> 00:15:21,688 I wonder if my mind is thinking 337 00:15:21,758 --> 00:15:23,378 about Kif being in jail. 338 00:15:23,447 --> 00:15:24,547 Jail's not so bad. 339 00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:26,620 You can make sangria in the toilet. 340 00:15:26,688 --> 00:15:28,548 Course, it's shank or be shanked. 341 00:15:28,620 --> 00:15:30,620 Of course. 342 00:15:32,551 --> 00:15:34,651 Look, just give back our property 343 00:15:34,724 --> 00:15:36,454 and we'll drop the charges. 344 00:15:36,517 --> 00:15:38,067 Fine! Have the watch! 345 00:15:38,136 --> 00:15:39,336 It's broken anyway. 346 00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:42,586 I don't want your watch! 347 00:15:42,654 --> 00:15:44,834 You're covered in precious ambergris. 348 00:15:44,895 --> 00:15:47,445 Precious hamburgers? 349 00:15:49,586 --> 00:15:51,966 "Ambergris." Noun. 350 00:15:52,033 --> 00:15:55,653 A grease-like product of the sperm whale's digestive tract 351 00:15:55,724 --> 00:15:58,594 that is used as a base in the finest perfumes. 352 00:15:58,654 --> 00:16:00,764 This has been Roseanne 353 00:16:00,826 --> 00:16:03,586 your guide to the world of facts. 354 00:16:03,654 --> 00:16:04,834 You heard Roseanne. 355 00:16:04,895 --> 00:16:06,515 Scrape off the priceless ambergris 356 00:16:06,586 --> 00:16:07,926 and I'll let you go. 357 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,970 Or-Or better yet, I'll simply shed my skin. 358 00:16:12,033 --> 00:16:13,693 [ grunting] 359 00:16:18,309 --> 00:16:19,309 Stop it. Stop it. 360 00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:20,309 It's fine! 361 00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:21,859 I will destroy you! 362 00:16:23,861 --> 00:16:25,691 [ both coughing] 363 00:16:25,758 --> 00:16:29,408 [ lustful moaning] 364 00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:32,034 [ bell chimes]Wha...? 365 00:16:32,102 --> 00:16:34,412 [ creaking] 366 00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:40,550 Uh, got to go. 367 00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:42,340 Uh, fight club. 368 00:16:46,688 --> 00:16:48,788 What's happening, Hubie? 369 00:16:48,861 --> 00:16:51,831 Ah, I'm afraid the face you fell in love with 370 00:16:51,895 --> 00:16:54,405 was actually just a blob of living gunk 371 00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,271 I bought with my tax refund. 372 00:16:56,344 --> 00:17:00,004 [ gurgling] 373 00:17:00,067 --> 00:17:03,167 Well, as long as we're being honest 374 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:07,310 I also spent my tax refund on a crazy treatment. 375 00:17:07,378 --> 00:17:10,208 [ pops] 376 00:17:10,275 --> 00:17:12,405 That certainly is honest. 377 00:17:12,481 --> 00:17:15,861 It's better for us to both just be ourselves. 378 00:17:15,931 --> 00:17:18,621 You, wrinkled as a prune. 379 00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:20,449 You, fat as the queen of sea cows. 380 00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:22,647 I love you! 381 00:17:22,723 --> 00:17:24,933 [ moaning] 382 00:17:28,136 --> 00:17:30,276 So, you see, the putrid, waxy substance 383 00:17:30,344 --> 00:17:31,694 I was coated with was... 384 00:17:31,758 --> 00:17:33,588 Not precious ambergris? 385 00:17:33,654 --> 00:17:36,314 Yes. And I managed to sneak some out 386 00:17:36,378 --> 00:17:37,788 in the usual place. 387 00:17:37,862 --> 00:17:39,412 Ta-da! 388 00:17:39,481 --> 00:17:44,141 Using that, I'll make you a perfume of lilac and jasmine 389 00:17:44,205 --> 00:17:45,405 and frankenberry. 390 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,621 Oh, Kif, it's so romantic. 391 00:17:47,689 --> 00:17:49,139 I can't even wait! 392 00:17:49,205 --> 00:17:51,925 I'm going to wear it right now. 393 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,690 [ spluttering] 394 00:17:55,413 --> 00:17:57,213 [ all groaning] 395 00:17:57,275 --> 00:18:00,065 Who smells like freaking porpoise hork? 396 00:18:00,136 --> 00:18:02,586 I do. Kiss me, Kif. 397 00:18:10,275 --> 00:18:13,165 Oh, what a foolish squid I've been. 398 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:14,340 I'm not rich. 399 00:18:14,413 --> 00:18:16,833 I can't even buy one measly masterpiece. 400 00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:18,375 [ sobbing] 401 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:22,450 Pardon us, gent. 402 00:18:22,517 --> 00:18:24,957 Might a couple of hungry, hungry hoboes 403 00:18:25,034 --> 00:18:27,794 take a feed from that aluminum snack box? 404 00:18:28,895 --> 00:18:30,545 So now I'm in the gutter 405 00:18:30,619 --> 00:18:32,959 surrounded by bums who eat garbage? 406 00:18:33,034 --> 00:18:35,144 Money brought me no happiness. 407 00:18:35,205 --> 00:18:36,545 Bupkes. 408 00:18:36,619 --> 00:18:40,139 Ooh, this boot's got a little pudding at the bottom. 409 00:18:40,205 --> 00:18:41,825 [ with lisp]: Interestingly 410 00:18:41,895 --> 00:18:44,095 the Spiderians are more closely related 411 00:18:44,172 --> 00:18:47,482 to our elephants than our spiders. 412 00:18:47,550 --> 00:18:49,310 [ coughing] 413 00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:50,618 [ laughing] 414 00:18:50,689 --> 00:18:51,719 [ gasping] 415 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:55,858 Don't mind us. Whoa, whoa! 416 00:18:55,931 --> 00:18:58,721 [ all exclaiming] 417 00:19:00,067 --> 00:19:01,517 [ grunts] 418 00:19:07,550 --> 00:19:10,240 [ all yelling] 419 00:19:11,378 --> 00:19:12,958 The loot! The loot! 420 00:19:13,034 --> 00:19:14,554 The loot is on fire! 421 00:19:14,619 --> 00:19:16,449 ZAPP: Leela 422 00:19:16,517 --> 00:19:18,957 my precious rock dove, I'll save you. 423 00:19:20,895 --> 00:19:22,475 Everyone, to the fire door! 424 00:19:22,550 --> 00:19:23,760 It's on fire! 425 00:19:25,654 --> 00:19:28,834 We're trapped, my sweet hippopotamus. 426 00:19:28,895 --> 00:19:30,785 [ both yelling] 427 00:19:30,862 --> 00:19:36,002 [ rapidly]: Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee! 428 00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:38,337 [ gulping nosily] 429 00:19:38,413 --> 00:19:40,483 [ heartbeat racing] 430 00:19:40,550 --> 00:19:42,590 [ bell dings] 431 00:19:42,654 --> 00:19:45,624 [ heavenly music plays] 432 00:20:22,103 --> 00:20:24,003 [ wheels squeaking] 433 00:20:30,895 --> 00:20:31,925 [ glass breaking] 434 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,410 Where are we, Pops?Wha...? 435 00:20:33,481 --> 00:20:34,761 What happened to the food? 436 00:20:34,826 --> 00:20:38,096 I think we were saved by a mysterious orange blur. 437 00:20:38,172 --> 00:20:40,282 ZOIDBERG: Welcome, one and all. 438 00:20:40,344 --> 00:20:43,964 I finally figured out how money could make me happy-- 439 00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:46,864 by using it to buy my hungry friends a feast! 440 00:20:46,931 --> 00:20:48,451 [ all cheering] 441 00:20:48,517 --> 00:20:49,787 Everyone join us. 442 00:20:49,862 --> 00:20:51,592 Oysters Rockefeller here 443 00:20:51,654 --> 00:20:54,074 has provided genuine turkey dogs! 444 00:20:54,136 --> 00:20:58,096 Heck, you're never too rich to enjoy a free turkey dog. 445 00:20:58,172 --> 00:20:59,932 Yeah, I'm starved!All right! 446 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,520 I'll take four. Me, too. 447 00:21:01,586 --> 00:21:03,236 Oh, what the hell. 448 00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:11,143 Here, Dwight. 449 00:21:11,205 --> 00:21:13,445 The boots only cost $299.99. 450 00:21:13,517 --> 00:21:16,617 You invest this penny like you wanted. 451 00:21:16,689 --> 00:21:18,209 Thanks, Dad. 452 00:21:18,275 --> 00:21:20,825 I'm going to take this and buy five shares of Amazon.com. 453 00:21:20,895 --> 00:21:22,095 A risk-taker! 454 00:21:22,172 --> 00:21:23,692 That's my boy. 455 00:21:23,758 --> 00:21:25,718 The entire surplus is gone! 456 00:21:25,792 --> 00:21:28,032 Oh, what a McGovern I've been. 457 00:21:28,103 --> 00:21:31,653 Why did I have to issue that crooked tax rebate? 458 00:21:31,723 --> 00:21:35,623 Uh, at least we got a few mildly interesting stories out of it. 459 00:21:35,689 --> 00:21:37,239 Oh, my, yes. 460 00:21:37,309 --> 00:21:39,589 Speaking of which, my story kind of petered out 461 00:21:39,654 --> 00:21:41,104 without me learning a lesson. 462 00:21:41,172 --> 00:21:42,412 [ laughing] 463 00:21:42,481 --> 00:21:43,451 There he is! 464 00:21:43,517 --> 00:21:45,277 [ frightened yelp] 465 00:21:45,344 --> 00:21:47,764 All right! Closure! 466 00:21:47,826 --> 00:21:49,996 [ groaning] 467 00:21:51,931 --> 00:21:54,901 [ groaning, clanking continue] 468 00:21:56,931 --> 00:21:59,791 "Futurama." Noun. 469 00:21:59,862 --> 00:22:02,792 Um, I don't know, you just watched it, dummy. 470 00:22:02,862 --> 00:22:04,902 What are you asking me for? 471 00:22:04,964 --> 00:22:07,904 Hey, here's a fun definition: "idiot." 472 00:22:07,964 --> 00:22:09,904 Noun. 473 00:22:09,964 --> 00:22:11,314 You! 474 00:22:11,378 --> 00:22:12,718 [ laughing] 475 00:22:12,792 --> 00:22:13,592 [ snorts] 476 00:22:13,654 --> 00:22:14,794 This has been Roseanne-- 477 00:22:14,862 --> 00:22:17,002 your guide to the world of facts.