1 00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,556 (CROWD APPLAUDING) 2 00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:24,186 As Mayor, it is my deeply tedious pleasure 3 00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:30,664 to kick off the 83rd or 84th Annual E-Waste Recycling Festival! 4 00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,451 (CHEERING) 5 00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:34,203 Down in front! 6 00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:37,414 Sorry. I get aroused in crowds. 7 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:41,368 I will now throw out the ceremonial first dump, 8 00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:44,539 this old, inefficient vote-rigger! 9 00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,464 (CHEERING) 10 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:52,053 These old doomsday devices are dangerously unstable. 11 00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:55,046 I'll rest easier not knowing where they are. 12 00:00:57,224 --> 00:01:00,104 So long, overly complicated Japanese toilet. 13 00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:03,902 TOILET: Please, not to throw away. I give you a happy poopie time. 14 00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:05,611 Sorry, you know too much. 15 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,028 (CHUCKLES) 16 00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,703 Seems like a good place to ditch some evidence. 17 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:15,448 Flexo? 18 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,616 What are you doing in a hazardous-waste bin? 19 00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:18,753 Haven't you heard? 20 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:21,249 Us bending units are dangerously outdated. 21 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:25,291 We overheat, we're radioactive, we cause erectile... 22 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:27,127 Who were you talking to? 23 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:31,092 No one. Your mama. Shut up. Take your pick. 24 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,262 (REPORTERS CLAMORING) 25 00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,339 Scoop Chang, New New York Times 26 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,349 online podcast blog comments editor. 27 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,431 Mr. Mayor, isn't this e-waste dangerous? 28 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:40,806 Not at all, Scoop. 29 00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:44,023 Not after it's hauled off to the third world by an expendable team 30 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,864 of minimum-wage nobodies. 31 00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:48,725 Good news, nobodies! 32 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:10,876 Greetings, my friends! 33 00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:14,880 It shan't take long to strip down your clunker. 34 00:02:15,219 --> 00:02:17,009 There's nothing wrong with our clunker. 35 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:20,555 Really? Because we can smelt out the deadly, deadly chromium 36 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:23,311 to make rat poison and artificial sweeteners. 37 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,807 No, thanks. We're delivering e-waste. 38 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,396 Pity. We're halfway done. 39 00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:32,742 This thing is 40% chromium! 40 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,083 Gentle now. Gentle with the hover dumpster. 41 00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:41,949 Ready for processing! 42 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,384 What smells like bloody sinuses? 43 00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:52,586 We burn your e-waste down to the usable metals, 44 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:56,513 safely releasing the toxins into our air and drinking water. 45 00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:01,764 (EXCLAIMS) That's the worst thing I've ever seen! 46 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,519 Really? Then don't look over there. 47 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:04,851 Whee! 48 00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:08,312 Okay, kids. Let's play "find the shiny." 49 00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,321 (ALL COUGHING) 50 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:17,739 That's even more horrific! Is all the work done by children? 51 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,623 No, not the whipping. 52 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,450 (WHIP CRACKING) 53 00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:27,666 Granted, we later learned some positive things about recycling, 54 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:30,419 but a better solution is to use our electronics 55 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:34,012 as long as possible instead of throwing them out in the first place. 56 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:38,009 I'm gonna start by keeping my old cell phone, even if it is outdated. 57 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:41,970 Hello, Miss Turanga. Your call to St. Louis has gone through. 58 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,309 Well, let's at least throw this TV out. 59 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:47,352 The batteries in the remote are getting low. 60 00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,976 No! Put that back and turn it on! 61 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,563 I was just trying to help. 62 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,073 More on this breaking puff piece 63 00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:57,032 after a word from our sponsor. 64 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,025 ANNOUNCER: With the new eyePhone, you can watch, listen, 65 00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:03,196 ignore your friends, stalk your ex, 66 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:05,115 download porno on a crowded bus, 67 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:07,873 even check your e-mail while getting hit by a train. 68 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,956 All with the new eyePhone. 69 00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:11,292 WOMAN: From Mom. 70 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:14,416 A new eyePhone? Forget this junk. 71 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:17,048 Well, this is a fine how-do-you-do! 72 00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:18,174 So long! Sayonara. 73 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,218 Bye-bye! Good riddance! 74 00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:20,473 Yup! Toodle-oo. 75 00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:22,682 Come on, let's buy some eyePhones online. 76 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,519 Wait. I thought we were buying our eyePhones online. 77 00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:30,024 We are on line. 78 00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,766 But I thought the Mom Store was across town. 79 00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:34,516 It is across town. 80 00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,855 But I thought... Stop thinking, Fry! 81 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,243 I feel like a mindless zombie. 82 00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:47,197 I wish I knew how long we've been waiting. 83 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,287 The eyePhone has an app for that! 84 00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:51,673 Is there an app for kissing my shiny metal ass? 85 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:52,880 Several! 86 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,090 Ooh! 87 00:04:57,756 --> 00:05:01,296 No, the light! I guess I'm off to hell. 88 00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:03,005 That's the store, Professor. 89 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,266 (POP SONG PLAYING) 90 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:15,895 Wow! It's that obscure underground song 91 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,783 that's constantly playing everywhere. 92 00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:22,453 Hello, dearies. Welcome to the Mom Store. 93 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:26,411 The new eyePhones are in short supply, so please form an orderly... 94 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,993 Out of the way! I need... 95 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,078 Move! 96 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:31,497 Are there any left? 97 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:32,581 There may be one. 98 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:40,134 Okay, it's $500, you have no choice of carrier, 99 00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:41,335 the battery can't hold a charge 100 00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:42,465 and the reception isn't very... 101 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:44,011 Shut up and take my money! 102 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,434 The new eyePhone is wonderful. 103 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:49,853 I use it to check recipes and send threatening e-mails 104 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:52,603 to unauthorized third-party app developers. 105 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:56,943 Say, you're from one of those ethnicities that knows about technology. 106 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,444 Why is it called an eyePhone? 107 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,435 I'll explain after I install it. 108 00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,113 (SCREAMING) 109 00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:07,278 Neat. 110 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,537 Now for the earpiece. 111 00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:13,246 But my favorite app is called Twitcher. 112 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:14,371 (FRY SCREAMS) 113 00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:15,998 Twitcher lets you send and receive 114 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,594 short messages or videos called twits. 115 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,589 Why, here's a twit now. 116 00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:23,762 Hi, Mom. I love you more than... 117 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,177 AUTOMATED VOICE: Low battery. 118 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,140 But don't take my word for it. 119 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:30,890 Unbiased-Reviews. Mom says Twitcher is the killer app. 120 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,766 And when I say killer app, 121 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:36,482 I mean killer app! 122 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,313 (SINISTER LAUGH) 123 00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,026 Ow! 124 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,583 ANNOUNCER: And now, another downloadisode 125 00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:52,369 of The Real Housewives of Sim City. 126 00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:58,831 She needs to reset. I'll say it to her face. 127 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,666 No wonder traditional media is dead. 128 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,795 Check out this webisode of Hypnotoad. 129 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,716 Enjoy your outdated format, Grandpa. 130 00:07:08,804 --> 00:07:12,894 Nowadays, cool kids like me mash up our own phone-isodes. 131 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:16,101 It's from the kidnappers. My nephew is alive! 132 00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:18,556 And he's in this envelope. 133 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,686 They cut off one of my dimensions! 134 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,650 No! No! (SOBBING) 135 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:27,401 Oh, my God, it's Bender! He'll save us! 136 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,656 (RINGING) 137 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:33,084 What's happening to me? Is it puberty? 138 00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,945 It's a phone call, dingus. 139 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,333 These eyePhones are phones, too? 140 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:38,415 Duh! 141 00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:40,707 Fry-lo. Hi, Fry. 142 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,344 Did you know these eyePhones are phones, too? 143 00:07:43,547 --> 00:07:46,127 Duh! Hey, is it safe to talk while you're flying? 144 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,966 Oh, totally. This thing's hands-free. 145 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:51,722 That's how I can eat this taco and this spaghetti. 146 00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,518 I'm hanging up now. 147 00:07:56,601 --> 00:08:00,151 Hey, check out this Internet video of some idiot crashing her spaceship! 148 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:04,983 You recorded that? 149 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,608 The eyePhone records everything. 150 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,235 All I did was add a laugh track 151 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,531 and twit it to my 10,000 followers. 152 00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,239 (LAUGHTER) 153 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:18,158 That reminds me. It's time to twit my hourly twupdate. 154 00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:20,832 What's up, followers? Fry here. 155 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:24,497 (BURPS) Burping eggs, scratching my underarm fungus, 156 00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,708 looking for love. Send. 157 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:29,259 Underarm fungus? 158 00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,298 Too much information. 159 00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:33,967 It's exactly the right amount of information! 160 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:37,522 For years, I've collected personal data with old-fashioned methods, 161 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:40,061 like spybots and info-squitos. 162 00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:42,015 This guy sure loves porno. 163 00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,185 But now, thanks to Twitcher, 164 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:48,444 morons voluntarily spew out every fact I need to exploit them! 165 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,696 Target acquired, Mother. 166 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,700 Fire direct marketing algorithm! 167 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,246 Do you suffer from the heartbreak of... 168 00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,710 FRY: My underarm fungus. 169 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:03,379 Then you, Mr. Or Mrs... (BURPS) Need the soothing relief 170 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:06,090 of Mom's Caustic Anti-Fungal Bleach! 171 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,380 Can I somehow charge it to my eyePhone for an additional fee? 172 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:10,666 MOM: Hell, yes! 173 00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:15,298 Hey, fatso, stuffa you face! 174 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:19,097 (GASPS) This thing always seems to know when I got the munchies! 175 00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:21,885 Attention, followers. 176 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:25,898 It's free topping day at the pizza place across the street! Send. 177 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:31,145 Duh! That's why we all came over here for lunch. Send. 178 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,109 Greetings, followers. 179 00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:38,699 This is day five of my solo kayak journey around the world. Send. 180 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,412 (LAUGHS) 181 00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:44,167 Can you believe 50,000 idiots swallow that crap? Send. 182 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:45,584 Oops. 183 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:49,919 Wait. You have 50,000 followers? I only have three. Send. 184 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:51,507 (EYEPHONES BEEP) 185 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:55,388 I unsubscribed yesterday. 186 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:58,600 I got the most followers 'cause I give the people what they want. 187 00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:01,602 Like this video of you doing karate in your underpants. 188 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:03,892 (EXCLAIMING) 189 00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,228 (GROANS) 190 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,234 Help! Police! Send. 191 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:12,244 That is low, Bender, even by your standards. 192 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,320 My what now? 193 00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:16,315 Since when is the Internet about robbing people of their privacy? 194 00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,738 August 6, 1991. 195 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,867 I'll bet I can get as many followers as you 196 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,584 without sinking to your level. 197 00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:25,874 What do you say? First one to a million followers wins a buck. 198 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,252 You're on! (EXCLAIMS) 199 00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:29,706 Send. 200 00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:31,171 What happens to the loser? 201 00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:33,626 Let's make it interesting. 202 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,104 (EXCLAIM IN DISGUST) 203 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,220 Why is Mr. Chunks doing that? 204 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:44,308 Because the loser of our bet has to do a double somersault 205 00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:47,734 into a tub of alien goat vomit. (CHUCKLING) 206 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,818 Wait, let's make it interestinger. 207 00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,649 Vomit and diarrhea. 208 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,566 Good idea. That way we don't waste an end. 209 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,573 It's putrid. What do you feed him? 210 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,988 What comes out one end, we feed to the other. 211 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,327 Also Indian food. 212 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:06,250 Let the contest begin! 213 00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:15,759 (SCREAMING) 214 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,680 (INAUDIBLE) 215 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:34,646 Amazing. 216 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:35,816 Some dumb bastard 217 00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:39,414 has nearly a million other dumb bastards following his every twit! 218 00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:42,991 Are you dumb bastards listening to me, you dumb bastards? 219 00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,948 Why are you so angry, Mommy? 220 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,831 Oh, I'm sorry. 221 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:50,328 I guess I'm just a little nervous about my evil plan. 222 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:51,958 You dumb bastards! 223 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:56,509 You see, the plan is about to enter phase two. 224 00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:59,341 As soon as someone reaches a million followers, 225 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,467 I'll use them to transmit 226 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,474 the twit-worm. 227 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:12,063 Mother, you devious hag. Tell us more about this twit-worm. 228 00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:14,568 It's a very special computer virus, 229 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,691 for instead of infecting computers, 230 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:20,238 it infects the human brain. 231 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,817 I like it. 232 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,908 The million followers will become an army of zombies 233 00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:28,584 eager to obey my every command! (LAUGHING) 234 00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,415 The important thing is, we're a family. 235 00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:32,581 No, it's not! 236 00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,301 (MR. CHUNKS SNEEZES) 237 00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:42,434 Ew! He sneezed in it. 238 00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:44,264 Oh, God, I'm going to lose the bet. 239 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:47,267 I'm gonna have to swim in the juice of the Puke-Me-Poop-You. 240 00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:50,480 Don't give up. You just need more titillating twits. 241 00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:52,442 Trust me, I want twits that tittle. 242 00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,652 Then you're gonna have to sink to Bender's level. 243 00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:56,572 Stop acting like the Queen of England. 244 00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:58,651 (WOMAN SINGING) 245 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,197 Who's that? The Queen of England? 246 00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:05,451 Excuse me. I have to... Someplace. 247 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:08,659 That was odd. Where'd that singing come from? 248 00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:12,116 It wasn't the goat. All of its orifices are in use. 249 00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:21,625 WOMAN: (SINGING) I dreamed a dream in time gone by 250 00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:26,853 When hope was high and life worth living 251 00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:30,981 I dreamed that love would never die 252 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:35,150 I dreamed that God would be forgiving 253 00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:36,441 (SCREAMING) 254 00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,820 What the hell is that? Nothing. 255 00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:40,112 I'm not nothing. 256 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,070 All my life, everyone's called me nothing. 257 00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:46,161 You have a boil on your butt that sings show tunes with you? 258 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,372 Don't look at me. I'm a freak. 259 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,123 No, no, well... 260 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,924 I've been ashamed of Susan as long as I can remember. 261 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,170 You named your boil Susan? 262 00:13:56,252 --> 00:14:00,422 A boil kinna have a name? They also said a boil kinna sing, but... 263 00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:06,222 (SINGING) Amazing grace How... 264 00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:07,554 (SCREAMS) 265 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,180 Ew! She's Scottish. 266 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:15,938 I lance her every few months, but she always grows back. 267 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,145 (WEEPING) 268 00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:19,482 It's hard enough being a Cyclops, 269 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:23,397 but if anyone found out about Susan, I'd be devastated. 270 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:29,118 (SINGING) Amazing grace How... 271 00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:33,293 Whoa! Gross. Million-follower gross. 272 00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:35,584 Fry, delete that. Delete that right now! 273 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:38,377 What? Oh. Okay. 274 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:46,392 (CHUCKLING) So much for a pleasant swim in vomit. 275 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,432 (COUGHING) 276 00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:53,976 (WHISPERS) Send. 277 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,393 (COUGHING) 278 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,478 Did you delete it? 279 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:57,563 Uh... 280 00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:00,147 Thanks, Fry, you're a good friend. 281 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:09,827 (SINGING) Amazing grace How... 282 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,038 (BOTH LAUGHING) 283 00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:16,366 Hey, there she goes in the genuine. 284 00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:17,707 Let's get to hooting. 285 00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:19,004 (HOOTS) 286 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,995 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 287 00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:24,589 If it ain'ts the world's number ones Internet sensation. 288 00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:27,628 Where? Also, what? 289 00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:33,434 (SINGING) Amazing grace... How... 290 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,520 (ALL LAUGHING) 291 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,726 Play it one more time. No! 292 00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:44,364 It's humiliating and degrading to Leela. Play it 10 more times. 293 00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:47,277 (SIGHS) I know I shouldn't have twitted that, 294 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,743 but not swimming in barf might ease my conscience. 295 00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:53,794 But if Leela should find out, her dignity sac will rupture. 296 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,580 That's why we can't let her see this. 297 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:58,173 Leela, lock the door so Leela doesn't... 298 00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,999 How could you do this? (SOBBING) 299 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:12,971 (INAUDIBLE) 300 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,328 Poor Mr. Chunks. At least he died doing what he loved. 301 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,420 He's in a better place now. 302 00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:52,471 There, I turned a regular board into a diving board. 303 00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:55,602 Impending news, everyone. 304 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,272 We're about to learn the winner of the bet. 305 00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,266 Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. 306 00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:02,153 (WHISPERS) I hope it's me. 307 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,530 Wait a minute. There's a chance I could lose? 308 00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:12,283 That wasn't part of the deal. 309 00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:18,327 Sweet Georgia Brown of Kingston Town. It's a tie. 310 00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:21,213 Since no one lost, no one has to jump. 311 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,670 All right, a tie! I win again! 312 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,627 I'm a scuzzball. 313 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:29,924 Don't feel bad. At least you're not Leela. 314 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:34,054 A tie? 315 00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:36,347 This worked out better than I could have hoped. 316 00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:38,721 Now I'll have two million zombies. 317 00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:42,598 Actually, Fry and Bender may share some of the same followers. 318 00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,227 All we can say for sure is that 319 00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:47,323 there will be between one million and two million zombies. 320 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,150 All I can say for sure is... 321 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:53,819 Now, stop getting slapped and power up the twit-worm! 322 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,292 (POWER SURGING) 323 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,752 (BOTH LAUGHING) 324 00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:11,419 It's both disgusting and inspiring, like Jared from Subway. 325 00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,967 Okay, I'm a freak with a singing butt boil, 326 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,553 but I'm still a human being, more or less. 327 00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:20,137 Singing butts boil? That's yesterdays's news. 328 00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:23,774 Like that giant caterpillar what ate Jared from Subway. 329 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:27,903 Nows us Internet geeks gots a whole new video sensation. 330 00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:30,072 So, my humiliation is over? 331 00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:31,531 Who are you? 332 00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:39,414 And now, to create an unstoppable army 333 00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:42,254 of between one and two million zombies! 334 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,752 Shouldn't you wait for the weather to clear up? 335 00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:50,714 No. I give you the twit-worm! 336 00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:54,376 Send. 337 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,766 I'm sick of my head doing things. 338 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:06,853 Leela! 339 00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:08,858 Fry, I came to talk to you. 340 00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:11,070 No, I came to talk to you. 341 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,030 It looked like you were just sitting there, but whatever. 342 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:16,991 I am so, so sorry for what I did, 343 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,823 and I know I can never make it up to you. 344 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:22,658 You don't have to apologize. In fact, I came to thank you. 345 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,502 I think you mean hit me. 346 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:27,500 Everyone knows my secret, but no one cares. 347 00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,713 I have nothing to hide anymore. 348 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:33,002 Fry, thanks to your selfish rudeness, 349 00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:36,299 a terrible weight has been lifted from my heart. 350 00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:39,224 SUSAN: That's not the only place you need a terrible weight lifted. 351 00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:40,303 (SUSAN GROANS) 352 00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:42,008 Susan and I are agreed. 353 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:46,478 For the first time in our lives, we're not ashamed of who we are. 354 00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:48,691 SUSAN: I was never ashamed. 355 00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,151 Come here. 356 00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:54,532 What stinks? Were you rolling around in New Jersey? 357 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,200 Leela, I knew I could never make it up to you, 358 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,030 so I did the next best thing. 359 00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:02,525 I put myself through the same humiliation I put you through. 360 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:11,997 (SCREAMS) 361 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,554 (LAUGHING) 362 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:24,182 Aw. You didn't have to do that. 363 00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:25,927 I didn't? Damn. 364 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:29,188 Don't worry. By tomorrow, no one will remember. 365 00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:31,477 Can I have another hug? No. 366 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,484 SUSAN: Hold your nose and give it a go. 367 00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:56,763 AUTOMATED VOICE: Introducing the all-new eyePhone 2.0. 368 00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,720 (CHEERING) 369 00:21:00,718 --> 00:21:02,888 Dumb bastards. 370 00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:38,129 ENGLISH - US - PSDH