1 00:00:01,034 --> 00:00:05,524 [ Announcer ]Futurama is brought to you by: 2 00:00:05,551 --> 00:00:08,651 The only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth. 3 00:00:08,689 --> 00:00:10,859 [ Crunching ] 4 00:00:13,827 --> 00:00:16,137 [ Man ] One, two! One, two, three! 5 00:00:41,930 --> 00:00:45,240 Good news, everyone. Today marks our dear friend... 6 00:00:45,274 --> 00:00:48,554 Dr. Zoidberg's tenth year with Planet Express. 7 00:00:48,585 --> 00:00:52,095 - Huzzahs are in order! - [ Lackadaisically ] Huzzah. Huzzah. 8 00:00:52,137 --> 00:00:55,447 Hooray for me! Hooray for Zoidberg! 9 00:00:55,481 --> 00:00:57,551 I will now read the mandatory speech. 10 00:00:57,585 --> 00:01:03,545 "Dear Employee: Has it really been five, ten or 15 years? 11 00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:06,375 If not, please disregard this and get back to work." 12 00:01:06,412 --> 00:01:09,172 Distribute token of appreciation and applaud. 13 00:01:10,930 --> 00:01:13,030 Look! Coupons! 14 00:01:13,067 --> 00:01:15,997 I can get two oil changes for the price of one! 15 00:01:16,033 --> 00:01:18,033 Now if I could only afford the one. 16 00:01:18,067 --> 00:01:20,897 And the car. Ah, the years. 17 00:01:20,930 --> 00:01:23,000 So many memories. 18 00:01:23,033 --> 00:01:26,763 So many strange fluids gushing out of patients' bodies. 19 00:01:26,793 --> 00:01:30,173 Yes, yes. Now here's your pension statement. 20 00:01:30,206 --> 00:01:33,446 It's empty because you haven't paid into it, you dumb stinkbug! 21 00:01:33,481 --> 00:01:36,381 [ Sobs ] You kept track of it all these years. 22 00:01:36,412 --> 00:01:39,212 - [ Hermes Grunts ] - Oh, no! I'm boned! 23 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,240 I haven't paid into the pension, either. 24 00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:43,925 - What'll I do when I retire? - I thought you wereretired. 25 00:01:43,965 --> 00:01:46,275 Hey, I don't see you planning for your old age. 26 00:01:46,310 --> 00:01:50,170 I got plans. I'm gonna turn my on/off switch to off. 27 00:01:50,206 --> 00:01:53,856 Well, I'm gonna take action. It's time to check on my retirement fund. 28 00:01:55,655 --> 00:01:58,475 Damn. Still only a hundred dollars. 29 00:01:58,516 --> 00:02:01,206 A penny saved is a penny earned. 30 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,760 Also, could you get some athlete's foot cream for my face? 31 00:02:03,793 --> 00:02:06,863 He's right. I've got to start investing wisely. 32 00:02:08,931 --> 00:02:10,591 Well, down to my last lottery ticket. 33 00:02:11,586 --> 00:02:13,716 [ Sniffs ] Cherry. 34 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:16,138 [ Sniffs ] Cherry! 35 00:02:16,171 --> 00:02:18,141 [ Sniffs ] Mule. Crud! 36 00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:20,971 So, you got six bucks left to retire on. 37 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,000 I recommend Tender Vittles. 38 00:02:25,171 --> 00:02:28,411 [ Woman ] You're opening a retirement account for six dollars? 39 00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:31,758 I'm sure a wealthy-- [ Sniffs ]-- mule farmer like yourself... 40 00:02:31,793 --> 00:02:34,243 is aware that we charge a ten dollar monthly fee. 41 00:02:34,275 --> 00:02:36,925 - You gotta spend money to make money. - [ Clicking, Beeping ] 42 00:02:36,965 --> 00:02:40,965 Here you are, sir. Your account is now overdrawn by four dollars. 43 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,660 Geez. I've seen lines move faster in the sperm bank. 44 00:02:44,688 --> 00:02:49,028 That's for su-- Roberto, is that you?Bender! Hey, man! 45 00:02:49,067 --> 00:02:51,027 [ Banging ][ Both Laughing ] 46 00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:53,277 [ Squeaking ][ Stammering, Laughing ] 47 00:02:53,310 --> 00:02:55,450 You old lunatic! How ya been? 48 00:02:55,481 --> 00:02:59,931 Ah, not bad. Not bad. Everybody on the floor![ Screaming ] 49 00:02:59,965 --> 00:03:03,275 - This is a stickup! - [ Screaming ] - Ahhh! 50 00:03:03,310 --> 00:03:07,660 Yeah, I'm doin' okay too. I'm takin' a Chinese cooking class at the Learning Annex. 51 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,658 Cool. C-Can you give me a hand here? 52 00:03:09,688 --> 00:03:11,758 Sure thing, pal. [ Rustling ] 53 00:03:11,793 --> 00:03:14,593 Hey, you! Red! Quit waterin' that plant and get the door! 54 00:03:14,620 --> 00:03:17,520 - [ Gasping ] - [ Woman Cries Out ] 55 00:03:17,550 --> 00:03:21,310 Well, nice talkin' to ya.Same here. You guys are all right. 56 00:03:21,343 --> 00:03:25,143 - Here's somethin' for your trouble. - Hey, thanks, buddy! 57 00:03:25,171 --> 00:03:29,591 - [ Sirens Warbling ] - [ Grunting ] 58 00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:32,690 - Freeze, punks! You're under arrest! - Shoot 'em in the back! 59 00:03:32,723 --> 00:03:35,863 Quick, while they're not looking! [ Buzzing ] 60 00:03:39,723 --> 00:03:43,903 Court is in session. The Honorable Judge Whitey presiding. 61 00:03:43,930 --> 00:03:45,900 The charge is bank robbery. 62 00:03:45,930 --> 00:03:49,210 Now, my caddy's chauffeur informs me that... 63 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:53,660 a bank is a place where people put money that isn't properly invested. 64 00:03:53,688 --> 00:03:58,968 Therefore, robbing a bank is tantamount to that most heinous of crimes-- 65 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,070 theft of money. 66 00:04:01,103 --> 00:04:04,523 As the "surveilliance" camera for that bank... 67 00:04:04,550 --> 00:04:06,930 what all the judge was a-jawin' about, 68 00:04:06,965 --> 00:04:10,515 could y'all tell us what you done seen the day of the crime? 69 00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:13,590 Well, let's see. My memory's a little fuzzy, 70 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,270 but it went exactly like this. [ Whirring ] 71 00:04:17,343 --> 00:04:20,723 - [ Fry Gasps ] - [ All Gasping ] 72 00:04:20,757 --> 00:04:23,827 Your Honor, I move that I be disbarred... 73 00:04:23,862 --> 00:04:28,792 for introducin' this evidence against my own clients. 74 00:04:28,826 --> 00:04:34,546 Mr. Fry, do you recognize the robot a-huggin' on you in this here hologram? 75 00:04:34,586 --> 00:04:37,026 I sure do! That's the real robber! 76 00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:39,477 And I'll never forget his name as long as I live. 77 00:04:39,516 --> 00:04:43,516 And that name is-- [ Gasps ] 78 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:46,450 [ Gags, Coughing ] 79 00:04:46,481 --> 00:04:50,971 Fry, just give a name! You don't want to look stupid on Court TV! 80 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,030 You're right. You're right. It was-- 81 00:04:53,067 --> 00:04:57,267 [ Cell Phone Ringing ]Yes? What? 82 00:04:57,310 --> 00:05:00,170 You say if I testify I'll be killed? 83 00:05:00,206 --> 00:05:03,476 Oh, it's for you. 84 00:05:03,516 --> 00:05:07,266 And the other hamburger will also be made of your lungs. 85 00:05:07,310 --> 00:05:10,380 - So long, pal. - [ Gulps ] 86 00:05:10,413 --> 00:05:14,523 I refuse to testify on the grounds that my organs will be chopped up into a patty. 87 00:05:14,550 --> 00:05:16,900 Ah, the 67th Amendment. 88 00:05:16,930 --> 00:05:20,000 I may be a simple country hyper-chicken, 89 00:05:20,033 --> 00:05:22,103 but I know when we're finger-licked. 90 00:05:22,137 --> 00:05:24,167 What do you say we plead insanity? 91 00:05:24,206 --> 00:05:28,066 A few months in an insane asylum? I could do that standin' on my head. 92 00:05:28,103 --> 00:05:31,033 If you start now, it might help our case. 93 00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:33,757 Counselor, what evidence do you offer...[ Clucking ] 94 00:05:33,793 --> 00:05:35,903 to support this new plea of insanity? 95 00:05:35,930 --> 00:05:39,410 Well, for one, they done hired me to represent them. 96 00:05:39,447 --> 00:05:42,027 Insanity plea is accepted. 97 00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:44,517 Mr. Bender? I hereby commit you... 98 00:05:44,550 --> 00:05:47,170 to the asylum for criminally insane robots... 99 00:05:47,206 --> 00:05:50,026 until such time as you are deemed cured. 100 00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:53,617 Yahoo! The system fails again! 101 00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:56,214 And Mr. Fry, I sentence you... 102 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,930 to the home for criminally insane humans. 103 00:05:58,965 --> 00:06:01,265 Your Honor, that facility has been full... 104 00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:04,760 ever since you ruled that being poor is a mental illness. 105 00:06:04,793 --> 00:06:07,723 Order! Order! The only poor people I want to hear about... 106 00:06:07,757 --> 00:06:10,587 are the people who tend to my pores at the spa. 107 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,830 Just send them both to the robot loony bin and let's go. 108 00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:17,446 [ Both Grunt ] 109 00:06:20,654 --> 00:06:22,624 [ Whimpering ][ Protesting ] 110 00:06:22,654 --> 00:06:25,104 Huh? 111 00:06:25,137 --> 00:06:29,027 [ Fry ] Ow, my head! Ow, my feet! Ow, my head! Ow, my feet! 112 00:06:29,067 --> 00:06:31,267 Keep your chin up. [ Fry ] Ow, my chin! 113 00:06:33,481 --> 00:06:35,721 [ Chirping ] 114 00:06:37,896 --> 00:06:40,926 [ Conveyor Belt Droning ] 115 00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:44,715 I don't belong here, Bender. This is an asylum for insane robots. 116 00:06:44,757 --> 00:06:48,717 Well, you meet half the qualifications. [ Laughs ] 117 00:06:49,793 --> 00:06:51,763 Oh, good! A physical! 118 00:06:51,793 --> 00:06:54,763 Once they examine my fragile, naked, pink body, 119 00:06:54,793 --> 00:06:58,143 they'll see I'm not a-- Whoa-- 120 00:06:59,310 --> 00:07:02,210 [ Fry Screaming ] [ Metal Rattling ] 121 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:03,960 [ Machinery Whirring ] 122 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,690 Wheee! [ Giggles ] 123 00:07:07,620 --> 00:07:10,690 Ooh! Ahh! Ooh! Wah! Ahhh! 124 00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:14,343 ♪♪ [ Scat Singing ] 125 00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:18,790 [ Whirring ][ Screams ] 126 00:07:20,930 --> 00:07:23,070 ♪♪ [ Scat Singing ][ Bat Squeaking ] 127 00:07:28,274 --> 00:07:30,314 What the-- [ Belch ] 128 00:07:30,343 --> 00:07:32,523 [ Bender ] I find that offensive! 129 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:39,070 [ Yelling, Grunt, Agonized Groan ] 130 00:07:39,103 --> 00:07:42,173 Greetings. I am Dr. Perceptron. 131 00:07:42,206 --> 00:07:44,826 Let me give you something to help you relax.[ Beep ] 132 00:07:44,862 --> 00:07:49,482 - Yah-ahh! - Look, there's been a terrible mistake. 133 00:07:49,516 --> 00:07:52,266 I'm a human being. See? I'm all squishy and flabby. 134 00:07:52,310 --> 00:07:55,340 - Also, I complain a lot. - Yes, you do. 135 00:07:55,379 --> 00:07:57,479 You need to relax more.[ Screams ] Wow! 136 00:07:57,516 --> 00:08:00,336 Terrific. Now consider the following. 137 00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:02,689 You were admitted to this robot asylum. 138 00:08:02,723 --> 00:08:07,273 Therefore, you must be a robot. Diagnosis complete. 139 00:08:07,310 --> 00:08:10,480 I do other human stuff! I age. See? 140 00:08:10,516 --> 00:08:13,136 [ Door Opens ] 141 00:08:13,172 --> 00:08:16,652 I'm Nurse Ratchet. Please come with me, won't you? 142 00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:21,170 - [ Grunts ] - [ Ratcheting ] 143 00:08:23,343 --> 00:08:26,793 We'll meet your roommate next, shall we? 144 00:08:26,826 --> 00:08:30,376 - His name is Malfunctioning Eddie. - The car dealer? 145 00:08:30,413 --> 00:08:32,653 Wow. I guess his prices really were insane. 146 00:08:32,688 --> 00:08:37,238 He's very excitable. So don't say anything to surprise him. 147 00:08:37,274 --> 00:08:39,594 [ Rattling ] 148 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:42,070 Pleased to meet you.Actually, we've met once before. 149 00:08:42,102 --> 00:08:44,552 What? 150 00:08:52,413 --> 00:08:55,553 I'm a pretty girl. I'm a pretty girl. 151 00:08:55,586 --> 00:08:57,546 I'ma pretty girl. 152 00:08:57,586 --> 00:08:59,996 Wh-Whoa! Someone had a busy day! 153 00:09:00,033 --> 00:09:03,273 My roommate exploded. Oh, you gotta help me, Bender. 154 00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:06,789 How can I prove I'm human?You could drop dead. That'd show 'em. 155 00:09:06,826 --> 00:09:10,516 I don't wanna! Hey, man! I believe you're a human. 156 00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:13,651 You do?Sure. They don't believe I'm a human either. 157 00:09:13,688 --> 00:09:17,548 Name's Unit 2013. Come on. Let me introduce you around. 158 00:09:17,586 --> 00:09:20,826 Fry, meet Norm. How's it goin', pal? 159 00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:23,591 Still pickin' up transmissions from the C.I.A. on your teeth? 160 00:09:23,620 --> 00:09:26,620 They just won't stop! 161 00:09:26,654 --> 00:09:32,314 [ Woman ] The C.I.A. Cafeteria menu for the week of May 15 is as follows. 162 00:09:32,344 --> 00:09:34,454 Monday, shepherd's pie. 163 00:09:34,481 --> 00:09:36,861 Tues--Cuckoo. 164 00:09:36,895 --> 00:09:39,785 Let me guess. He thinks he's Lincoln? 165 00:09:39,826 --> 00:09:41,896 Well, he's supposed to. The problem is, 166 00:09:41,931 --> 00:09:45,031 he's got multiple personalities-- all of 'em Lincoln. 167 00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:50,167 [ Buzzing, Whirring ] I was born in two hundred log cabins. 168 00:09:50,206 --> 00:09:52,306 And this here is Frankie. 169 00:09:52,344 --> 00:09:56,214 He's convinced he's a lunchroom worker. So they put him to work in the lunchroom. 170 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:59,000 How is workin' the lunchroom, Frankie? 171 00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:02,933 - It's all right. - Poor Frankie. 172 00:10:04,172 --> 00:10:07,452 [ Whirring ] 173 00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:10,001 Change places! 174 00:10:10,033 --> 00:10:12,653 [ Clattering ][ Grunting ] 175 00:10:12,688 --> 00:10:14,688 Bender, I can't take much more of this. 176 00:10:14,724 --> 00:10:18,034 - I want outta here! - Are you crazy? This place is great. 177 00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:21,687 Electroshock whenever you want it. Two Lincolns for every Napoleon. 178 00:10:21,724 --> 00:10:23,834 [ Loud Slurp ] Ahhh! 179 00:10:23,861 --> 00:10:26,211 Sweet light crude. 180 00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:31,721 But I'm not a robot like you! I don't like having disks crammed into me. 181 00:10:31,758 --> 00:10:34,208 Unless they're Oreos. And then only in the mouth. 182 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,210 Don't you understand? I'm gonna die here. 183 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,380 Ah, quit your belly-achin' and take it like a robot. 184 00:10:39,413 --> 00:10:41,143 [ Frustrated Growl ] 185 00:10:41,172 --> 00:10:43,142 [ Mad Hatter ] Change places! 186 00:10:43,172 --> 00:10:46,342 [ Grunting ] 187 00:10:48,931 --> 00:10:52,831 The doctor says you are making great strides with your exploding problem. 188 00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:55,381 Well, the way I see it-- 189 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,480 You gotta get me outta here. I would have starved to death... 190 00:10:59,517 --> 00:11:01,757 if not for that sick vending machine robot. 191 00:11:01,793 --> 00:11:03,623 [ Coughing ] 192 00:11:03,654 --> 00:11:07,384 Gimme! Gimme! [ Blubbering ] 193 00:11:07,413 --> 00:11:10,863 Poor Fry. He's got the munchies for freedom. 194 00:11:10,895 --> 00:11:13,995 We're all trying to help you. We've petitioned the governor. 195 00:11:14,033 --> 00:11:17,313 But he doesn't want to appear soft on people who've been falsely imprisoned. 196 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:21,344 [ Groans ] At least I have friends on the outside. Bender's been no help at all. 197 00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:23,379 [ Speaks French ] Je suis Napoleon! 198 00:11:23,413 --> 00:11:27,003 [ Chuckles ] Now, seriously, I'm not. 199 00:11:27,033 --> 00:11:30,243 Bender, you should be more ashamed of yourself than usual. 200 00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:34,794 Ah, lighten up, honey. I'm just tryin' to get through a difficult time using humor. 201 00:11:34,826 --> 00:11:39,786 Visiting hours are over. Time for our medication disks. 202 00:11:39,826 --> 00:11:42,306 Help me! For God's sake, help me! 203 00:11:42,344 --> 00:11:44,484 Oh, don't worry, Fry. 204 00:11:44,517 --> 00:11:48,447 I, too, once spent a nightmarish time in a robot asylum. 205 00:11:48,481 --> 00:11:51,001 But now, it's nearly over. So long. 206 00:11:52,895 --> 00:11:56,405 [ Crickets Chirping Madly ] 207 00:11:56,447 --> 00:11:59,237 Thirty days hath September, April, June-- And no wonder all the rest have peanut butter. 208 00:11:59,274 --> 00:12:02,214 - What am I gonna do? - [ Whirring ] 209 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:06,170 Oh, God! What? What? What is it now? 210 00:12:06,206 --> 00:12:10,306 - You are being released. - Finally! Sweet justice! 211 00:12:10,344 --> 00:12:14,654 - Sweet, juicy justice! - Not you. Him. 212 00:12:14,688 --> 00:12:18,618 Me? What a surprise! 213 00:12:19,688 --> 00:12:22,588 Look! I barely exploded at all. 214 00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:25,210 We can control that with medication. 215 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,930 Fry? Are we ready to meet our new roommate? 216 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:31,235 [ Bumping, Creaking ] 217 00:12:33,517 --> 00:12:35,377 - [ Gasps ] - Hi, Red! 218 00:12:35,413 --> 00:12:38,103 Roberto? Wh-Wh-Wh-What are you doing here? 219 00:12:38,136 --> 00:12:40,446 I got busted robbin' that bank again. 220 00:12:40,481 --> 00:12:42,591 Why would you hold up the same bank twice? 221 00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:46,520 Ah, that first time was just to case the joint and rob it a little. 222 00:12:46,551 --> 00:12:48,791 What's the matter? You scared? 223 00:12:48,826 --> 00:12:52,546 [ Stammering ] N-N-- N-N-N-N--Noticeably? I'll say. 224 00:12:52,586 --> 00:12:55,446 Now, stand back. I gotta practice my stabbin'. 225 00:12:55,481 --> 00:12:58,101 Ha-haa! Ha-ha-ha. Ha-haa!No! Please! Help! 226 00:12:58,136 --> 00:13:01,306 Stop it! Police! [ Pounding ] 227 00:13:01,344 --> 00:13:04,694 Hey, keep it down in there! I'm tunin' my banjo! 228 00:13:04,724 --> 00:13:08,414 - ♪♪ [ Plucking Strings ] - Geez, Red. Quit cowerin'. 229 00:13:08,447 --> 00:13:11,167 You call yourself a robot? 230 00:13:11,206 --> 00:13:13,376 [ Howling Yells ] 231 00:13:13,413 --> 00:13:16,593 I'm not a robot! I'm not a robot! 232 00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:18,760 [ Screams ] 233 00:13:21,481 --> 00:13:23,721 In answer to your question, Hermes. 234 00:13:23,758 --> 00:13:25,718 Yes, your friend is cured. 235 00:13:25,758 --> 00:13:27,758 [ All Exclaiming ] 236 00:13:27,793 --> 00:13:31,973 [ Perceptron ] You'll notice he no longer suffers delusions of humanity. 237 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:35,000 Affirmative. I feel nothing. I am a robot. 238 00:13:35,033 --> 00:13:37,903 Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep--[ Dismayed Gasping ] 239 00:13:37,931 --> 00:13:42,001 You've made a terrible mistake. He's a human being, not a machine! 240 00:13:42,033 --> 00:13:45,143 Oh, Fry![ Beeping Quickens ] 241 00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:50,412 ♪♪ [ Banjo ]♪ Gonna sing a little tale about a battle called Waterloo ♪♪ 242 00:13:50,447 --> 00:13:52,717 Bonjour,y'all! 243 00:13:57,033 --> 00:14:01,553 Listen to me, Fry. Just because you think you're a robot, doesn't make you a robot. 244 00:14:01,586 --> 00:14:05,516 After all, I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. 245 00:14:05,551 --> 00:14:08,971 - These fancy clothes do. - Negative. I must be a robot. 246 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:13,620 Why else would human women refuse to date me?Oh, lots of reasons. 247 00:14:13,654 --> 00:14:16,034 Bio-units, terminate noise exchange. 248 00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:18,687 It is time for you to ingest sandwiches from my compartment. 249 00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:22,034 [ Disgusted Groans ] 250 00:14:25,793 --> 00:14:29,653 Here we go. Just a minute. Aha! 251 00:14:29,688 --> 00:14:32,758 [ Announcer ] And down the stretch, it's Daddy's Little Grandpa, 252 00:14:32,793 --> 00:14:36,933 followed by Perennial Loser and bringing up the rear, it's Lasty! 253 00:14:36,965 --> 00:14:40,235 Come on, Lasty! Hey, Bender. 254 00:14:40,274 --> 00:14:44,274 Duh, Roberto! Ooh, what a surprise to see you in here! 255 00:14:44,309 --> 00:14:46,689 Especially 'cause I didn't squeal on ya, remember? 256 00:14:46,724 --> 00:14:50,004 Remember all that squealin' I didn't do? Remember? Do ya? 257 00:14:50,033 --> 00:14:52,213 Yeah. Yeah. Now lie down and play dead. 258 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:55,380 And don't ham it up.Uh, sure. Anything for you, buddy. 259 00:14:55,413 --> 00:14:57,273 [ Chuckles ] Ooh. [ Flap Whirs ] 260 00:14:59,551 --> 00:15:03,101 Wait here, Bender. I need to get a disguise. 261 00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:06,446 [ Banging, Crashing ] [ Howling Yell ] 262 00:15:10,758 --> 00:15:14,718 [ Flap Whirs ] Uh, what's with the getup? 263 00:15:14,758 --> 00:15:17,028 I'm in disguise 'cause I'm thinkin' of escapin'. 264 00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:20,027 You in? Or do I gotta kill ya so ya don't squeal? 265 00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:22,207 I'm in! I'm in! [ Nervous Chuckle ] 266 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:25,380 - So, when were you plannin' the breakout? - I'm thinkin'... 267 00:15:25,413 --> 00:15:28,763 maybe a few seconds ago. [ Siren Blaring ] 268 00:15:28,793 --> 00:15:32,033 Quick! Let's keep escaping![ Grunting ] 269 00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:36,207 - [ Both Grunting ] - [ Barking ] 270 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:39,210 [ Sniffing, Growling ] 271 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,270 [ Grunting, Panting ] 272 00:15:42,861 --> 00:15:44,791 [ Both Yelling ] 273 00:15:57,447 --> 00:16:01,447 Times two, carry the one. 274 00:16:01,481 --> 00:16:06,591 Oh, you sad, worthless human.Ohh! 275 00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:10,000 Sacred hog of Prague! That was my anniversary gift to La Barbra. 276 00:16:10,033 --> 00:16:12,453 Fear not. For I shall assist ye! 277 00:16:12,481 --> 00:16:15,971 Robots don't say "ye."Relax, mammal! 278 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,380 My robotic software shall meet your calculatory needs. 279 00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:21,623 What is the meaning of this symbol? 280 00:16:21,654 --> 00:16:23,764 That's a plus sign, you pointy-head loony! 281 00:16:23,793 --> 00:16:25,833 Quit thinkin' you're a robot! 282 00:16:25,861 --> 00:16:29,971 - I'll show ye. - [ Rattling ] 283 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,930 [ Straining ] 284 00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:38,857 Stand back! I'm a toolbot. 285 00:16:38,895 --> 00:16:40,825 [ Straining ] 286 00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:46,621 [ Straining ] 287 00:16:46,654 --> 00:16:49,214 You're not a toolbot. You're not a food-motron. 288 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,270 You're not a robot of any kind. 289 00:16:51,309 --> 00:16:55,899 Yes, I am. I simply haven't discovered my primary function yet. 290 00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:58,901 - [ Grunts ] - Okay. This has got to stop. 291 00:16:58,931 --> 00:17:01,721 I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity... 292 00:17:01,758 --> 00:17:03,788 the way only a woman can. 293 00:17:03,826 --> 00:17:06,376 You're going to do his laundry? 294 00:17:06,413 --> 00:17:09,933 Fry, this is for you. 295 00:17:09,964 --> 00:17:11,964 Mmm. Mmm. 296 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,930 Mmmmmm. Mwuh! 297 00:17:19,931 --> 00:17:22,621 Beep.Oh, for God's sake! 298 00:17:22,654 --> 00:17:25,214 [ Gulping, Sighs ] 299 00:17:26,586 --> 00:17:30,236 By a scallop's forelocks. What's with all the beer, Fry? 300 00:17:30,275 --> 00:17:33,025 Alcohol fuels my power cells. 301 00:17:33,067 --> 00:17:36,377 And as a mighty robot, I-- [ Belches ] 302 00:17:36,413 --> 00:17:39,863 [ Bottles Clattering ]Beep. [ Snoring ] 303 00:17:39,895 --> 00:17:43,895 Thanks for helpin' me escape, Bender.Ah, it was nothin'. 304 00:17:43,931 --> 00:17:47,031 It was not nothin'! I want to repay you. 305 00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:49,717 Let me get you somethin' in here. 306 00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:53,686 Hands up! This is a stickup again![ People Gasping ] 307 00:17:53,723 --> 00:17:56,033 Wow! Hitting the same place three times? 308 00:17:56,067 --> 00:17:58,337 I admire your style, Roberto. 309 00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:02,478 Give me the remainin' dough and all the calendars. And that pen! 310 00:18:02,517 --> 00:18:04,787 Try to tear it so most of the beads are on my end! 311 00:18:04,826 --> 00:18:07,446 [ Guns Cocking ]Police! You're busted! 312 00:18:07,481 --> 00:18:09,691 And don't try anything. This glass here is laser-proof. 313 00:18:09,723 --> 00:18:13,453 [ Martial Arts Yell ]Fire lasers! 314 00:18:13,481 --> 00:18:16,591 - Duck lasers! - [ Bellowing ] 315 00:18:16,619 --> 00:18:19,959 Come on! I got a place where I like to hide after crimes. 316 00:18:24,586 --> 00:18:29,136 [ Snoring ]Aw, he looks like a little insane drunken angel. 317 00:18:29,172 --> 00:18:31,212 [ Hydraulic Door Hissing ] 318 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:35,070 [ Panting ] Hey, everybody. Meet my good pal, Roberto. 319 00:18:35,103 --> 00:18:37,793 - Hey, mon. - Nice to meet you-- 320 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:40,516 [ Man On Bullhorn ] Come out with your hands up!hostages! 321 00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:43,760 [ Sirens Blaring ] 322 00:18:43,792 --> 00:18:47,832 - [ Brakes Screeching ] - Back off! I got hostages! 323 00:18:47,862 --> 00:18:51,902 - Hooray! I'm helping. - Do you have any better hostages? 324 00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:55,171 To show them who's crazy, I'll execute some of you. 325 00:18:55,205 --> 00:18:57,065 How about you?Ouch! 326 00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:59,833 That's going to bleed when my heart beats. 327 00:18:59,862 --> 00:19:02,002 Wait! Take me first! 328 00:19:02,034 --> 00:19:04,934 - Yes! Take her first! - Shut up! 329 00:19:04,964 --> 00:19:08,384 - Stop tellin' me how to do this! - [ Sirens Blaring ] 330 00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:11,413 [ Frightened Chatter ][ Zoidberg ] Oh, the fear. 331 00:19:11,448 --> 00:19:13,548 I'm thinkin' of a number between one and ten. 332 00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:16,446 Guess it, and you die first. Go! 333 00:19:16,481 --> 00:19:18,761 Um, okay. 334 00:19:18,792 --> 00:19:21,282 Fifty-- six-- ish? 335 00:19:21,309 --> 00:19:23,689 Fifty-six? Fifty-six? 336 00:19:23,723 --> 00:19:26,413 Oh, man! Now that's all I can think about! 337 00:19:26,448 --> 00:19:29,618 I'm gonna kill you, you-- you no good fifty-six-ing-- 338 00:19:29,654 --> 00:19:33,214 - [ Howling ] - [ Blubbering ] 339 00:19:34,862 --> 00:19:38,382 Don't kill me yet! I'm startin' to come down with Stockholm Syndrome, 340 00:19:38,413 --> 00:19:40,343 handsome. 341 00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:44,553 Halt, fellow robot! 342 00:19:44,586 --> 00:19:49,206 Hey, Red! You're just in time to join the hostage situation. 343 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,210 Which side do you want to be on? 344 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,690 The side that kicks your twisted metal ass. 345 00:19:54,723 --> 00:19:57,553 Fry! Stay back! He's too powerful! 346 00:19:57,586 --> 00:19:59,686 Negative, bossy meat creature. 347 00:19:59,723 --> 00:20:02,033 I know now what my primary function is. 348 00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:05,617 I am a battle-droid, sworn to protect the weak from crazy robots. 349 00:20:05,654 --> 00:20:08,174 I'm not crazy! Don't call me crazy! 350 00:20:08,205 --> 00:20:11,205 - I-I'm just not user-friendly. - Fry, don't be a hero! 351 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,210 It's not covered by the health plan! 352 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,340 Let's see how much of a robot you really are-- 353 00:20:16,378 --> 00:20:19,588 [ Martial Arts Yell ][ Squishes ] 354 00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,589 [ Collective Gasp ] 355 00:20:21,619 --> 00:20:23,859 [ Metal Crackling ] 356 00:20:25,067 --> 00:20:28,517 No knife can penetrate my skin-tanium armor. 357 00:20:28,550 --> 00:20:31,100 [ Imitates Robotic Drone ] 358 00:20:31,136 --> 00:20:34,956 He-- Help! Help! He is a battle-droid! 359 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,960 [ Droning Continues ]Somebody help me! 360 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,650 [ Stammering ] Mommy! 361 00:20:39,689 --> 00:20:42,449 I'm sorry I spilled the transmission fluid, Mommy. 362 00:20:42,481 --> 00:20:45,451 No, no! Don't weld me to the wall, Mommy! 363 00:20:45,481 --> 00:20:47,651 - [ Grunts ] - [ Droning ] 364 00:20:49,067 --> 00:20:51,027 [ Whimpering ] 365 00:20:51,067 --> 00:20:53,167 [ Screaming ] 366 00:20:55,550 --> 00:20:57,520 [ Whimpering ] 367 00:20:57,550 --> 00:21:00,480 [ Clinking ]We're willing to listen to your demands. 368 00:21:02,275 --> 00:21:05,445 Hey, baby. Wash that off before you put it back. 369 00:21:05,481 --> 00:21:07,721 [ Hostages ] Hooray![ Zoidberg ] Bravo! 370 00:21:07,758 --> 00:21:10,518 You did it, Fry.Congratulations, buddy. 371 00:21:10,550 --> 00:21:12,650 You're a credit to my race. 372 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:15,169 It was nothing. I-- [ Screams ] 373 00:21:16,826 --> 00:21:20,026 Blood? Robots don't have blood. 374 00:21:20,067 --> 00:21:22,517 - I must be a-- a-- - A squid? 375 00:21:22,550 --> 00:21:25,480 A human! Oh, my God! 376 00:21:25,517 --> 00:21:27,517 I'm a human!Also good. 377 00:21:30,654 --> 00:21:32,694 Thanks for saving us, Fry. 378 00:21:32,723 --> 00:21:37,103 [ Kiss ]I'm gonna continue never washing this cheek again. 379 00:21:37,136 --> 00:21:40,406 Buddy, you may be wrapped in greasy skin, 380 00:21:40,448 --> 00:21:43,378 but inside you've got the heart of a robot. 381 00:21:43,413 --> 00:21:46,653 Aw, thanks, Bender.Just like inside me, 382 00:21:46,689 --> 00:21:48,649 I've got the heart of a human. 383 00:21:48,689 --> 00:21:51,999 [ Disgusted Groans ]What? 384 00:21:53,689 --> 00:21:55,619 [ Bender ] What?