1 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:07,940 [ Humming ] 2 00:00:08,041 --> 00:00:09,381 PIZZA DELIVERY. 3 00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:13,007 WOW. SO THIS IS A REAL TV STATION, HUH? 4 00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:14,954 WELL, IT'S A FOX AFFILIATE. 5 00:00:15,048 --> 00:00:16,548 WHAT ARE YOU SHOWING RIGHT NOW? 6 00:00:16,649 --> 00:00:17,719 SINGLE FEMALE LAWYER. 7 00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,018 IT'S THE SEASON FINALE. 8 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,090 YOU WANT TO WATCH? 9 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,217 AH, I DON'T KNOW. 10 00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:22,761 THAT'S A CHICK SHOW. 11 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:26,356 I PREFER PROGRAMS OF THE GENRE WORLD'S BLANKIEST BLANK. 12 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,760 SHE IS WEARING THE WORLD'S SHORTIEST SKIRT. 13 00:00:28,861 --> 00:00:29,961 I'M IN. 14 00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:33,402 Counselor, I remind you 15 00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,740 that it's unethical to sleep with your client. 16 00:00:35,835 --> 00:00:37,565 If you really care about the outcome 17 00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:39,570 of the case, you should sleep with me. 18 00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,213 YOUR HONOR, IT'S BAD ENOUGH 19 00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:44,108 TO PROPOSITION A SINGLE FEMALE LAWYER IN COURT 20 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:46,112 BUT THIS IS A UNISEX BATHROOM. 21 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,283 OVERRULED, COUNSELOR. 22 00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:51,781 [ Moaning ] 23 00:00:51,884 --> 00:00:54,324 COULD YOU REPEAT THAT LAST PART? 24 00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:56,421 [ Yawning ] 25 00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:59,294 [ Electronic Crackling ] 26 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:00,733 OH, MY GOD. 27 00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:02,398 YOU KNOCKED FOX OFF THE AIR. 28 00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,396 PFFT. LIKE ANYONE ON EARTH CARES. 29 00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:25,590 Could you repeat that last part? 30 00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:29,985 THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. 31 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,760 I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED 32 00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:32,959 TO THE PLUCKY LAWYER 33 00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:35,030 AND HER COMPELLINGLY SHORT GARMENT. 34 00:01:35,128 --> 00:01:37,598 Due to technical difficulties, we now bring you 35 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,798 eight animated shows in a row. 36 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,800 [ Growls ] 37 00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:17,499 WHAT IN THE NAME OF BOB MARLEY'S GHOST? 38 00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:19,544 GET TO WORK, YOU LAZY BOLTBAG. 39 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,539 [ Laughing ] OOH. 40 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,811 HEY, QUIT IT, HERMES. IT'S LABOR DAY. 41 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,751 LABOR DAY? THAT PHONY-BALONEY HOLIDAY 42 00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:28,676 CRAMMED DOWN OUR THROATS BY FAT-CAT UNION GANGSTERS? 43 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:31,022 - THAT'S THE ONE. - HOT DAMN. A DAY OFF. 44 00:02:33,586 --> 00:02:36,356 WHO'S UP FOR ONE LAST SUMMER BEACH TRIP? 45 00:02:36,456 --> 00:02:37,426 OH, YEAH. 46 00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:38,555 READY, FREDDY. 47 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,388 EH. I THINK I'LL JUST STAY HERE. 48 00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:43,703 FRY, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR LIFE SITTING IN FRONT OF THAT TV. 49 00:02:43,796 --> 00:02:46,166 YOU NEED TO GET OUT AND SEE THE REAL WORLD. 50 00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:47,366 BUT THIS IS HDTV. 51 00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:50,398 IT'S GOT BETTER RESOLUTION THAN THE REAL WORLD. 52 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,043 EVERYONE'S TOO POLITE TO SAY ANYTHING 53 00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:55,439 BUT YOU'RE COVERED WITH BEDSORES. 54 00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:57,883 - NOT COVERED. - JUST GET IN THE CAR. 55 00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:05,893 AH, HERE WE ARE. 56 00:03:05,985 --> 00:03:07,215 MONUMENT BEACH. 57 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,058 WAIT. MOUNT RUSHMORE 58 00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:14,088 AND THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA? 59 00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:15,863 I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE BOTH IN NEW YORK. 60 00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:16,902 THEY ARE NOW. 61 00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:18,767 IN THE 2600s, NEW YORKERS ELECTED 62 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,195 A SUPER-VILLAIN GOVERNOR 63 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,700 AND HE STOLE MOST OF THE WORLD'S MONUMENTS. 64 00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:24,042 TRULY A GREAT MAN. 65 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,707 LOOK AT HIM UP THERE. 66 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,436 [ Whistles ] 67 00:03:28,908 --> 00:03:31,438 [ Humming ] 68 00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:35,779 AHH! 69 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,123 [ Beeping ] 70 00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:39,046 [ Loud Beeping ] 71 00:03:39,151 --> 00:03:40,421 AHA! 72 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:43,785 FOUND YOU. 73 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,790 OKAY, NOW YOU GO HIDE. 74 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,128 [ Chuckles ] 75 00:03:49,228 --> 00:03:50,458 NICE KNOWING YOU. 76 00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:53,101 AHH! 77 00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:55,565 [ Groans ] 78 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:00,973 COME ON, ZOIDBERG. 79 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,684 I PASSED IT RIGHT TO YOU. 80 00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,836 I'VE HAD IT WITH THIS GAME. 81 00:04:04,944 --> 00:04:06,784 I'M GOING FOR A SCUTTLE. 82 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,190 OKAY, EVERYONE, COME AND GET IT! 83 00:04:20,192 --> 00:04:22,302 AH! JUST LIKE MY DAD USED TO MAKE 84 00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:24,156 UNTIL McDONALD'S FIRED HIM. 85 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,004 BITE MY RED-HOT GLOWING ASS. 86 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,870 WAIT A MINUTE. 87 00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:30,638 RED-HOT GLOWING ASS! 88 00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:32,307 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 89 00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:33,306 OW! OW! OW! 90 00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:34,436 OW! OW! OW! OW! 91 00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,112 OW! OW! OW! OW! 92 00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:39,649 OH, YEAH! 93 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,307 MMM. 94 00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:42,615 [ Whimpers ] 95 00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:46,621 NO! NIBBLER. 96 00:04:48,521 --> 00:04:50,021 PSST. 97 00:04:50,122 --> 00:04:52,992 PROFESSOR, I NEED ANOTHER BIKINI. 98 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,193 HUH? WHA-- 99 00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:55,463 OH, OKAY. 100 00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:57,032 I THINK THERE'S ONE CAN LEFT. 101 00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:01,797 OH, MY. 102 00:05:03,202 --> 00:05:05,142 THERE. HOW DO I LOOK? 103 00:05:05,237 --> 00:05:07,237 LIKE A CHEAP FRENCH HARLOT. 104 00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:08,711 FRENCH? 105 00:05:15,214 --> 00:05:17,524 SAY, DOLLFACE, HOW'D YOU LIKE 106 00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:19,847 TO MAKE TIME WITH A REAL MAN? 107 00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:22,522 NO. I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO BULLIES 108 00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:26,192 NO MATTER HOW BIG AND, UH, HANDSOME THEY ARE. 109 00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:27,533 IT'S OKAY, LEELA, GO AHEAD. 110 00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:29,027 I GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO HERE. 111 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,029 SIR, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 112 00:05:31,130 --> 00:05:33,370 I'M A PROFESSIONAL BEACH BULLY. 113 00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:35,536 I PRETEND TO STEAL YOUR GIRL. 114 00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,236 YOU PUNCH ME, I GO DOWN 115 00:05:37,336 --> 00:05:39,906 SHE SWOONS... YOU SLIP ME 50 BUCKS. 116 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,107 50 BUCKS? 117 00:05:41,207 --> 00:05:42,677 NOT EVEN IF SHE WAS MY GIRLFRIEND. 118 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:43,876 YOU TAKE HER. 119 00:05:43,976 --> 00:05:45,906 FRY! ALTHOUGH... 120 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:49,122 I SUPPOSE WE COULD GO FOR A WALK ON THE BEACH. 121 00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:50,616 UH, NO THANKS, MA'AM. 122 00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:51,878 I'M ACTUALLY GAY. 123 00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:53,385 [ Sighs ] 124 00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:58,085 [ Slurping ] 125 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,691 [ Metallic Rattling ] UH-OH. 126 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,433 HELP. HELP! 127 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:03,759 [ Whistling ] 128 00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,395 BENDER, YOU GOT TO SPRING ME. 129 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,440 I'LL NEVER SURVIVE IN HERE. 130 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,596 I'M TOO PRETTY. 131 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:14,444 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I'LL BUST YOU OUT. 132 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:17,441 [ Siren Wailing ] 133 00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:18,775 CHEESE IT! 134 00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,117 VOILÀ. 135 00:06:22,214 --> 00:06:23,884 THE GREATEST SAND CASTLE EVER BUILT. 136 00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:26,823 THIS IS THE KIND OF CASTLE KING ARTHUR WOULD HAVE LIVED IN 137 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,220 IF HE WERE A FIDDLER CRAB. 138 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,221 IT'S VERY NICE. 139 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:30,322 WE SHOULD GET A PICTURE 140 00:06:30,423 --> 00:06:31,563 BEFORE THE TIDE COMES IN. 141 00:06:31,658 --> 00:06:33,558 OH, YEAH. ANYONE HAVE A CAMERA? 142 00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:35,731 RIGHT HERE, BUDDY. 143 00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:38,797 WAIT. I WANT TO BE IN THE PICTURE, TOO. 144 00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:43,099 [ Timer Beeping ] 145 00:06:43,202 --> 00:06:44,342 PRETEND YOU'RE HAPPY. 146 00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:47,108 [ Gasping ] 147 00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:56,579 OH, MY GOD! 148 00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:00,191 WHAT IN BABYLON? 149 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:14,865 NO! 150 00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:18,940 [ Loud Whirring ] 151 00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:26,307 FASTER! 152 00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:28,383 WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, AREN'T WE? 153 00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:29,781 OH, I SHOULD THINK SO. 154 00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:31,722 ALTHOUGH, LAST TIME ALIENS INVADED 155 00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:34,689 ALL THEY DID WAS FORCE THE MOST INTELLIGENT OF US 156 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,858 TO PAIR OFF AND MATE CONTINUOUSLY. 157 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,327 OH, YES. 158 00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:44,974 Once again, today's winning lotto number was four. 159 00:07:45,064 --> 00:07:47,374 In other news, alien saucers continued 160 00:07:47,466 --> 00:07:49,466 to rain destruction upon Earth. 161 00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:51,899 We now go live to an emergency address 162 00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:53,674 by Earth President McNeal. 163 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:54,814 Ladies and gentlemen 164 00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:56,208 our course is clear. 165 00:07:56,308 --> 00:07:58,578 The time has come to knuckle under. 166 00:07:58,678 --> 00:08:01,878 To get down on all fours and really lick boot. 167 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:05,252 Give our alien masters whatever they want and-- 168 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,819 People of Earth 169 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:12,190 I am Lure, of the planet Omicron Persei Eight. 170 00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:13,331 Is this thing on? 171 00:08:13,425 --> 00:08:14,855 [ Blows On Microphone ] 172 00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:16,031 Now, then. 173 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,259 We want the one you call McNeal. 174 00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:22,095 Give us McNeal, or we will lay waste to your cities 175 00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:24,371 with our anti-monument laser. 176 00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:26,611 We demand McNeal! 177 00:08:26,706 --> 00:08:28,706 Uh... as I was saying... 178 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:32,039 mankind would sooner perish than kowtow 179 00:08:32,144 --> 00:08:36,224 to outrageous alien demands for this McNeal-- 180 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:37,346 whoever he is. 181 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,420 Am I right? 182 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,118 [ Mumbling ] 183 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,390 And now, the man who will lead us 184 00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:44,889 in our proud struggle for freedom 185 00:08:44,991 --> 00:08:48,261 fresh from his bloody triumph over the pacifists 186 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,860 of the Gandhi Nebula 187 00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:52,032 25-Star General Zapp Brannigan. 188 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,204 [ Sighing ] 189 00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:56,372 HEY, LOOK, LEELA. 190 00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:58,869 IT'S THAT IDIOTIC WINDBAG YOU SLEPT WITH. 191 00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:00,571 THE EARTH IS UNDER ATTACK. 192 00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:02,713 CAN'T WE JUST FORGET ABOUT THAT? 193 00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:04,279 EVIDENTLY NOT. 194 00:09:04,376 --> 00:09:05,536 Call me cocky 195 00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:07,475 but if there's an alien out there I can't kill 196 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,481 I haven't met him and killed him yet. 197 00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:10,882 But I can't go it alone. 198 00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,424 That's why I'm ordering every available ship 199 00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:14,749 to report for duty. 200 00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:17,055 Anyone without a ship should secure a weapon 201 00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:18,827 and fire wildly into the air. 202 00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:20,726 WELL, YOU HEARD THE WINDBAG. 203 00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:21,997 WE'VE BEEN DRAFTED. 204 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,395 EVERYONE INTO THE SHIP. 205 00:09:23,495 --> 00:09:24,495 WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! 206 00:09:24,597 --> 00:09:25,567 HOLD ON! 207 00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:26,726 I REFUSE TO FIGHT. 208 00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,743 I'M A CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR. 209 00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:30,836 - A WHAT? - YOU KNOW-- A COWARD. 210 00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:34,407 Since this is an emergency, all robots will now have 211 00:09:34,506 --> 00:09:36,836 their patriotism circuits activated. 212 00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:38,183 [ Fast Beeping ] 213 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,348 IT IS EVERY ROBOT'S DUTY TO GIVE HIS LIFE 214 00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:41,677 FOR THE GOOD OF HUMANITY. 215 00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:42,852 OH, CRAP! 216 00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,031 YOU'RE ALL FROM DIFFERENT CULTURES HERE. 217 00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:54,695 SOME OF YOU ARE WHITE. 218 00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,364 SOME OF YOU ARE BLACK. 219 00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:57,362 YOU'RE BROWN. 220 00:09:57,463 --> 00:09:58,773 AND YOU'RE SILVER. 221 00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:01,025 BUT I DON'T CARE IF YOUR SKIN'S 222 00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,704 RED OR TAN OR CHINESE. 223 00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:05,472 YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN TO DIE TOGETHER. 224 00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:06,542 AM I RIGHT, SOLDIER? 225 00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:08,209 WELL, ACTUALLY, I-- 226 00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:10,477 SIR! YES, SIR! SIR! 227 00:10:10,576 --> 00:10:13,046 REMEMBER, OUR MISSION IS SIMPLE-- 228 00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:14,675 DESTROY ALL ALIENS. 229 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:15,822 ER, UM... 230 00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:17,016 NOT ME, SIR. 231 00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,686 OH, YES... RIGHT. 232 00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,516 NOBODY DESTROY KIF. 233 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,460 UNLESS YOU HAVE TO. 234 00:10:22,554 --> 00:10:23,964 OH, HO-HO. 235 00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,987 THE LUSCIOUS CAPTAIN LEELA. 236 00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:27,532 THIS IS TURNING INTO 237 00:10:27,626 --> 00:10:31,696 ONE VERY SEXY STRUGGLE FOR THE FUTURE OF THE HUMAN RACE. 238 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,528 THANKS, BUT I'M NOT TECHNICALLY HUMAN. 239 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,634 RIGHT, RIGHT. 240 00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:37,895 NOBODY DESTROY LEELA, EITHER. 241 00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:40,174 THE KEY TO VICTORY IS DISCIPLINE 242 00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:41,713 AND THAT MEANS A WELL-MADE BED. 243 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,678 YOU WILL PRACTICE UNTIL YOU CAN MAKE YOUR BED IN YOUR SLEEP. 244 00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,248 YOU MEAN, WHILE I'M SLEEPING IN IT? 245 00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:48,376 YOU WON'T HAVE TIME FOR SLEEPING, SOLDIER. 246 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,720 NOT WITH ALL THE BED-MAKING YOU'LL BE DOING. 247 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,547 THE ALIEN MOTHER SHIP IS IN ORBIT HERE. 248 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,153 IF WE CAN HIT THAT BULL'S-EYE 249 00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:58,264 THE REST OF THE DOMINOES WILL FALL LIKE A HOUSE OF CARDS. 250 00:10:58,357 --> 00:11:00,057 CHECKMATE. 251 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,059 [ Groans ] 252 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,560 NOW, LIKE ALL GREAT PLANS 253 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,772 MY STRATEGY IS SO SIMPLE, AN IDIOT COULD HAVE DEVISED IT. 254 00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,895 ON MY COMMAND, ALL SHIPS WILL LINE UP 255 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,670 AND FILE DIRECTLY INTO THE ALIEN DEATH CANNONS 256 00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,370 CLOGGING THEM WITH WRECKAGE. 257 00:11:12,471 --> 00:11:14,041 WOULDN'T IT MAKE MORE SENSE 258 00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:15,910 TO SEND THE ROBOTS IN FIRST-- 259 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,179 [ Gagging ] 260 00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:19,348 SIR! 261 00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:20,876 I VOLUNTEER FOR A SUICIDE MISSION! 262 00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:22,720 AW... CUT IT OUT! 263 00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:25,546 YOU'RE A BRAVE ROBOT, SON, BUT WHEN I'M IN COMMAND 264 00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:27,522 EVERY MISSION'S A SUICIDE MISSION. 265 00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:28,960 WHICH REMINDS ME... 266 00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:32,056 LEELA, PERHAPS BEFORE WE HEAD INTO BATTLE 267 00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:33,688 YOU'D LIKE TO MAKE LOVE TO ME 268 00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:35,733 IN CASE ONE OF US DOESN'T COME BACK. 269 00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:37,928 MAYBE WE SHOULD WAIT TILL AFTERWARDS... 270 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,900 IN CASE NEITHER OF US COMES BACK. 271 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,300 HERE'S HOPING. 272 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:43,772 [ Kissing Sound ] 273 00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:54,575 I'LL BE A SCIENCE FICTION HERO 274 00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:58,651 JUST LIKE UHURA OR CAPTAIN JANEWAY OR XENA. 275 00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:00,551 Fry, this isn't TV, it's real life. 276 00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:02,223 Can't you tell the difference? 277 00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:04,462 SURE. I JUST LIKE TV BETTER. 278 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,487 [ Imitates Laser Firing ] 279 00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:19,267 [ Alarm Sounding ] 280 00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:21,341 BENDER-- DAMAGE REPORT. 281 00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:22,841 THE AUXILIARY POWER'S OUT. 282 00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:24,612 AND THEY SPILLED MY COCKTAIL. 283 00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:27,683 ALL RIGHT, SCUMWADS, 284 00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:30,320 THIS ONE'S FOR BENDER'S COCKTAIL. 285 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:42,032 [ Laughing ] 286 00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,029 WE DID IT! WE WON! 287 00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:48,370 YEAH, BUT IT'LL NEVER BRING BACK MY MARTINI. 288 00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:50,367 WELL, WHO WANTS A MARTINI? 289 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,000 [ Ice Cubes Rattling ] 290 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,365 [ Glasses Clinking ] 291 00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:55,042 Good work, everyone. 292 00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:56,812 The mother ship is destroyed. 293 00:13:03,515 --> 00:13:05,275 WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING? 294 00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:07,394 IT APPEARS TO BE THE MOTHER SHIP. 295 00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:09,686 THEN WHAT DID WE JUST BLOW UP? 296 00:13:09,788 --> 00:13:11,718 THE HUBBLE TELESCOPE. 297 00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:20,904 STOP EXPLODING, YOU COWARDS! 298 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,170 THIS IS HOPELESS. 299 00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:23,999 IF WE'RE GOING TO GET BLOWN TO BITS 300 00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,744 WE MAY AS WELL DO IT IN THE COMFORT OF OUR OWN HOME. 301 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,210 [ Engines Screeching ] 302 00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:32,078 [ Reverse Warning Beeps ] 303 00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:34,753 YOU'LL BE THE CAPTAIN 304 00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:36,377 YOU'LL BE THE DELIVERY BOY 305 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,092 AND YOU'LL BE THE ALCOHOLIC 306 00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:39,824 FOUL-MOUTHED-- 307 00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:41,349 OH, GOD, YOU'RE ALIVE! 308 00:13:41,453 --> 00:13:43,523 I MEAN, THANK GOD, YOU'RE ALIVE. 309 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,733 SORRY. CHECK BACK IN THREE DAYS. 310 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,085 A WEEK AT THE MOST. 311 00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:48,503 [ Static On TV ] 312 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,595 We want McNeal! 313 00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:52,657 Stop stalling! 314 00:13:52,764 --> 00:13:55,504 And now a rebuttal from President McNeal. 315 00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:57,371 The people of Earth remain united 316 00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,740 in my refusal to hand over myself. 317 00:13:59,838 --> 00:14:04,108 Total annihilation is a small price to pay compared with-- 318 00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:06,581 [ Muffled Yells ] 319 00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:09,219 [ Applause ] 320 00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:18,194 HERE HE IS! 321 00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:19,731 COME AND GET HIM! 322 00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,031 [ Grunting ] 323 00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:24,800 YOU ARE NOT McNEAL! 324 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:25,928 HUH? HUH? 325 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,533 YOU ARE NOT THE ONE WE WANT. 326 00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:28,634 OH, THANK YOU! 327 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,865 THANK YOU, GLORIOUS MASTERS! 328 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,371 I-- 329 00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:33,441 [ Yelps ] 330 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:34,639 GIVE US McNEAL! 331 00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:36,210 THAT WAS McNEAL. 332 00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:39,548 NO, McNEAL THE SINGLE FEMALE LAWYER. 333 00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:41,805 SHE WEARS MINISKIRTS AND IS PROMISCUOUS. 334 00:14:41,914 --> 00:14:43,724 REALLY. 335 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:44,946 MINISKIRTS? 336 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,652 THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR. 337 00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,153 SURELY YOU KNOW McNEAL. 338 00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:50,264 SHE IS AN UNMARRIED HUMAN FEMALE 339 00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:53,256 STRUGGLING TO SUCCEED IN A HUMAN MALE'S WORLD. 340 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,500 MAYBE THAT'S JUST HER EXCUSE FOR BEING INCOMPETENT. 341 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:56,495 SILENCE! 342 00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,566 WE WILL ACCEPT NO MORE DECOYS. 343 00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:01,004 THIS IS THE McNEAL. 344 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,900 WAIT. I KNOW HER. 345 00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,743 YOU DO NOT, YOU BIG, FAT LIAR. 346 00:15:05,837 --> 00:15:08,667 YOU DON'T KNOW ANYONE. ALL YOU DO IS WATCH TV. 347 00:15:08,774 --> 00:15:10,284 THAT'S WHERE I KNOW HER FROM. 348 00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:11,406 SHE'S JENNIE McNEAL. 349 00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:13,180 SHE WAS A CHARACTER ON A TV SHOW 350 00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:14,679 BACK IN THE 20th CENTURY-- 351 00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:16,480 SINGLE FEMALE LAWYER. 352 00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,592 WELL, IF THEY'RE HOPING TO SEE A TV SHOW 353 00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:20,594 THAT HASN'T EXISTED FOR 1,000 YEARS-- 354 00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:23,657 [ Raspberry ] THEY ARE ROYALLY BONED. 355 00:15:23,755 --> 00:15:25,655 We will raise your planet's temperature 356 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:29,358 by one million degrees a day for five days 357 00:15:29,461 --> 00:15:33,201 unless we see McNeal at 9:00 p.m. tomorrow. 358 00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:34,699 8:00 Central. 359 00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:36,141 [ All Gasping ] 360 00:15:36,235 --> 00:15:38,135 OH. I'M BEGINNING TO THINK 361 00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:41,108 THERE'LL BE NO FORCED MATING AT ALL. 362 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,216 THEY'RE GOING TO DESTROY THE ENTIRE EARTH 363 00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:49,815 IF THEY DON'T SEE SOME STUPID TV SHOW 364 00:15:49,915 --> 00:15:51,145 ABOUT SOME BIMBO LAWYER? 365 00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:53,320 IT'S CRAZY. HOW COULD THEY EVEN KNOW ABOUT A SHOW 366 00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:55,119 FROM 1,000 YEARS AGO? 367 00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:56,691 WELL, OMICRON PERSEI EIGHT 368 00:15:56,788 --> 00:15:58,518 IS ABOUT 1,000 LIGHT-YEARS AWAY 369 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,285 SO THE ELECTROMAGNETIC WAVES 370 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,533 WOULD JUST RECENTLY HAVE GOTTEN THERE. 371 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,029 YOU SEE-- 372 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,200 MAGIC. GOT IT. 373 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:06,198 [ Typing ] 374 00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:07,198 [ Beeping ] 375 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:08,529 [ Amy ] CHECK THIS OUT. 376 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,404 BACK IN 1999, THE SEASON FINALE 377 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:11,843 OF SINGLE FEMALE LAWYER 378 00:16:11,937 --> 00:16:14,067 WAS INTERRUPTED BY TECHNICAL PROBLEMS. 379 00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:17,413 APPARENTLY SOME ZIDIOT SPILLED COKE ON A TRANSMITTER. 380 00:16:17,509 --> 00:16:19,509 BEER. I WOULD THINK. 381 00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:21,381 THEY MUST JUST WANT TO SEE THAT EPISODE. 382 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,220 LET'S FIND A TAPE AND GIVE IT TO THEM. 383 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,416 THERE AREN'T ANY COPIES LEFT. 384 00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,048 NO, THERE WOULDN'T BE. 385 00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:30,663 MOST VIDEOTAPES FROM THAT ERA WERE DAMAGED IN 2443 386 00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:33,026 DURING THE SECOND COMING OF JESUS. 387 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:36,495 YOU KNOW, I SAW THE FIRST 30 SECONDS OF THAT EPISODE. 388 00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:37,756 IF I COULD MAKE UP AN ENDING 389 00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:39,434 MAYBE WE COULD ACT IT OUT OURSELVES. 390 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,872 I COULD MAKE THE COSTUMES. 391 00:16:41,967 --> 00:16:45,537 I HAVE AN OLD FIVE MEGAWATT BROADCASTING TOWER IN THE ATTIC. 392 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:49,438 AND I-- I COULD BE AN ACTING COACH! 393 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,682 LET'S PUT ON A SHOW! 394 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:53,378 [ Sawing And Hammering ] 395 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,720 OKAY, LEELA, YOU'LL BE STARRING AS JENNIE, WHO-- 396 00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:58,376 UH-UH. FORGET IT. 397 00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:01,385 A: I'M CAMERA SHY, AND B: I GET TONGUE-TIED 398 00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:04,388 IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE ARMED WITH DEATH RAYS. 399 00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:08,230 PLUS, YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE THE THIGHS FOR A MINISKIRT. 400 00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:09,557 GIVE ME THE SCRIPT. 401 00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,402 [ Humming ] 402 00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:16,768 PLACES, EVERYONE! 403 00:17:16,868 --> 00:17:19,438 OKAY. 404 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,568 ALL SET. 405 00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:23,881 LIGHTS. 406 00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:26,381 CAMERA ONE. 407 00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,209 CAMERA TWO. 408 00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:29,115 CAMERA THREE. 409 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,475 [ Servomotor Whirs ] 410 00:17:34,052 --> 00:17:35,722 PREPARE THE WATERCOOLER 411 00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:39,592 THAT WE MAY GATHER AROUND IT LATER AND DISCUSS THINGS. 412 00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:42,462 [ Bender Off-key ] * Single Female Lawyer 413 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,261 * Fighting for her client 414 00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,104 * Wearing sexy miniskirts 415 00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:48,269 * AND BEIN' SELF-RELIANT 416 00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:49,637 HEY, I'M PRETTY GOOD. 417 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,440 UH... JENNIE McNEAL 418 00:17:52,538 --> 00:17:55,238 YOU ARE CHARGED WITH JURY TAMPERING 419 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,782 IN LAST WEEK'S CASE 420 00:17:56,875 --> 00:18:00,275 ON ACCOUNT OF YOUR HOT, NAKED AFFAIR WITH THE FOREMAN. 421 00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,850 HOW DO YOU PLEAD? 422 00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:03,948 YOUR HONOR, I MOVE FOR A MISTRIAL 423 00:18:04,049 --> 00:18:07,489 ON THE GROUNDS THAT I'M ALSO HAVING A HOT, NAKED AFFAIR 424 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,486 WITH THE FOREMAN OF THIS JURY. 425 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:12,458 I'LL SEE YOU DURING THE RECESS. 426 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,526 IF McNEAL WISHES TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY 427 00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:18,297 WHY DOES SHE NOT SIMPLY TEAR THE JUDGE'S HEAD OFF? 428 00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:20,127 IT IS TRUE WHAT THEY SAY: 429 00:18:20,232 --> 00:18:22,772 "WOMEN ARE FROM OMICRON PERSEI SEVEN 430 00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:25,198 MEN ARE FROM OMICRON PERSEI NINE." 431 00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:27,665 YOUR WITNESS, PROSECUTOR RAMIREZ. 432 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,883 GRACIAS. 433 00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,506 SINGLE FEMALE LAWYER 434 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:34,781 WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT OF AUGUST 23? 435 00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:36,121 SLEEPING WITH YOU. 436 00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:37,545 AHA! 437 00:18:39,050 --> 00:18:40,020 [ Sniffing ] 438 00:18:40,118 --> 00:18:41,148 [ Slurping ] 439 00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:44,523 UH, GET-- GETTING BACK TO THE MATTER, 440 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:47,064 UH, IF IT PLEASE THE COURT-- 441 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,400 FRY, THERE'S NOTHING ELSE HERE. 442 00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:51,726 YOU ONLY WROTE TWO PAGES OF DIALOGUE! 443 00:18:51,830 --> 00:18:53,170 WELL, IT TOOK AN HOUR TO WRITE 444 00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:55,066 I THOUGHT IT WOULD TAKE AN HOUR TO READ. 445 00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:56,397 [ Anxious Sigh ] 446 00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:58,202 WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW? 447 00:18:58,305 --> 00:18:59,465 I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. 448 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:00,872 JUST SAY ANYTHING-- 449 00:19:00,972 --> 00:19:02,812 AS LONG AS IT'S COMPELLING AND MESMERIZING-- 450 00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:04,209 A TOUR DE FORCE. 451 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,180 UH... 452 00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:08,518 WHAT SAY YOU, SINGLE FEMALE LAWYER? 453 00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:10,575 I SAY... 454 00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:12,222 I'M GIVING UP THE LAW 455 00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,318 AND I'M GIVING UP BEING SINGLE. 456 00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:17,391 YOUR HONOR, WILL YOU MARRY ME? 457 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,390 [ Gasping ] 458 00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:20,360 [ Hums Dramatic Music ] 459 00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:23,060 OH, NO! GO TO COMMERCIAL. 460 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,002 WE'LL BE BACK AFTER THIS WORD 461 00:19:25,096 --> 00:19:28,896 FROM CRAZY BENDER'S DISCOUNT STEREO. 462 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,000 MARRIED? 463 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:31,542 JENNIE CAN'T GET MARRIED! 464 00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:33,537 WHY NOT? 465 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,040 IT'S CLEVER, IT'S UNEXPECTED. 466 00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:36,781 BUT THAT'S NOT WHY PEOPLE WATCH TV! 467 00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:38,775 CLEVER THINGS MAKE PEOPLE FEEL STUPID 468 00:19:38,877 --> 00:19:41,207 AND UNEXPECTED THINGS MAKE THEM FEEL SCARED. 469 00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:42,684 [ Static On TV ] 470 00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:44,181 Attention, McNeal-- 471 00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:47,294 Your unexpected marriage plan scares us. 472 00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:50,886 You stole our hearts as a single female lawyer 473 00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:53,630 and so shall you remain... or else! 474 00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:56,896 YOU SEE? TV AUDIENCES DON'T WANT ANYTHING ORIGINAL. 475 00:19:56,996 --> 00:20:00,126 THEY WANT TO SEE THE SAME THING THEY'VE SEEN 1,000 TIMES BEFORE. 476 00:20:00,232 --> 00:20:01,732 WHAT YOU TALKIN' 'BOUT, FRY? 477 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:02,974 TRUST ME ON THIS. 478 00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:05,608 WHILE OTHER PEOPLE WERE OUT LIVING THEIR LIVES 479 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:08,214 I WASTED MINE WATCHING TV, BECAUSE DEEP DOWN 480 00:20:08,307 --> 00:20:10,907 I KNEW IT MIGHT ONE DAY HELP ME SAVE THE WORLD. 481 00:20:11,009 --> 00:20:13,379 PLUS, I WOULD'VE LOST MY WORKMEN'S COMP 482 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:14,750 IF I HAD GONE OUTSIDE. 483 00:20:14,846 --> 00:20:16,746 NOW JUST READ THESE CUE CARDS. 484 00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:19,724 AND... ACTION! 485 00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:21,088 "MISS McNEAL... 486 00:20:21,186 --> 00:20:22,756 "I'M AFRAID I MUST DECLINE 487 00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:24,285 "YOUR OFFER OF MARRIAGE 488 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,731 "FOR YOU SEE, I'M DYING. 489 00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:29,426 COUGH, THEN FALL OVER DEAD." 490 00:20:29,528 --> 00:20:31,798 "MY GOD, HE'S DEAD." 491 00:20:33,231 --> 00:20:35,801 "I WILL NOW MAKE MY CLOSING STATEMENT. 492 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,572 "WITH MY FIANCÉ DECEASED 493 00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:38,840 "I HEREBY RETURN 494 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,508 "TO MY SINGLE FEMALE LAWYER CAREER 495 00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:43,907 NO MATTER WHAT ANY MAN SAYS." 496 00:20:44,009 --> 00:20:45,639 "WE FIND THE DEFENDANT 497 00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,354 VULNERABLE YET SPUNKY." 498 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:48,907 [ All Cheering ] 499 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,575 AND... CUT! 500 00:20:50,682 --> 00:20:52,792 * SINGLE FEMALE LAWYER 501 00:20:52,884 --> 00:20:55,124 * HAVIN' LOTS OF SEX 502 00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:56,121 HUH? 503 00:20:56,221 --> 00:20:57,191 Attention, McNeal. 504 00:20:57,289 --> 00:20:59,129 We are reasonably satisfied 505 00:20:59,224 --> 00:21:01,294 with the events we have seen. 506 00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:03,504 Overall, I would rate it a "C"-plus. 507 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:04,756 Okay; not great. 508 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:07,804 As a result, we will not destroy your planet 509 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:12,370 but neither will we provide you with our recipe for immortality. 510 00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:14,711 WAY TO OVERACT, ZOIDBERG. 511 00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:18,507 And now we must return to our planet to catch the end 512 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:21,011 of a 1,000-year-old Leno monologue. 513 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,213 [ Eerie Whirring ] 514 00:21:24,215 --> 00:21:27,685 [ All Cheering ] 515 00:21:35,728 --> 00:21:36,958 YOU DID IT, FRY! 516 00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:38,463 YEP. 517 00:21:38,565 --> 00:21:39,965 [ Turns On TV ] 518 00:21:40,066 --> 00:21:41,126 IT WAS JUST A MATTER 519 00:21:41,232 --> 00:21:43,202 OF KNOWING THE SECRET OF ALL TV SHOWS. 520 00:21:43,301 --> 00:21:44,671 AT THE END OF THE EPISODE 521 00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:47,370 EVERYTHING'S ALWAYS RIGHT BACK TO NORMAL.