1 00:00:02,827 --> 00:00:05,337 What do you think of the view, Fry? 2 00:00:05,413 --> 00:00:07,723 It really puts things in perspective. 3 00:00:07,793 --> 00:00:10,073 I mean, from up here, an entire world 4 00:00:10,137 --> 00:00:12,027 can seem utterly insignificant. 5 00:00:12,102 --> 00:00:13,342 [ Splat ] 6 00:00:49,792 --> 00:00:51,032 [ Bender ] Hey, nice seats. 7 00:00:51,103 --> 00:00:53,213 We're close enough that when you 8 00:00:53,274 --> 00:00:56,074 knock a player down with a beer bottle, he stays down. 9 00:00:56,137 --> 00:00:57,237 I don't get this. 10 00:00:57,310 --> 00:00:59,790 Is blernsball exactly the same as baseball? 11 00:00:59,862 --> 00:01:01,452 Baseball? God forbid. 12 00:01:01,517 --> 00:01:05,657 Face it, Fry. Baseball was as boring as Mom and apple pie. 13 00:01:05,724 --> 00:01:07,694 That's why they jazzed it up. 14 00:01:07,757 --> 00:01:09,717 Boring? Baseball wasn't... 15 00:01:09,793 --> 00:01:12,103 Hmm, so they finally jazzed it up. 16 00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:17,236 Home run! 17 00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:18,690 [ Laughing ] Yay, yay! 18 00:01:18,757 --> 00:01:20,097 Right? 19 00:01:21,343 --> 00:01:22,213 Ugh. 20 00:01:22,275 --> 00:01:24,515 [ Groaning ] 21 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:25,545 Out. 22 00:01:25,620 --> 00:01:27,340 [ Crowd ] Yeah! Yay! 23 00:01:27,412 --> 00:01:29,452 What just happened? 24 00:01:29,516 --> 00:01:31,546 Why is the ball on that sproingy thing? 25 00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:33,860 It's traditional, just like aluminum bats 26 00:01:33,930 --> 00:01:35,410 and the seventh-inning grope. 27 00:01:39,723 --> 00:01:41,723 Hey, hey, hey! 28 00:01:41,793 --> 00:01:44,453 I got me a souvenir. 29 00:01:44,516 --> 00:01:47,236 Aw, here you go, kid. 30 00:01:47,310 --> 00:01:48,620 [ Grunts ] 31 00:01:53,137 --> 00:01:55,967 I'd like a jumbo squid log, please. 32 00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,723 We don't sell those. 33 00:01:57,793 --> 00:01:59,033 All right, all right. 34 00:01:59,103 --> 00:02:01,453 Let me have one of your young on a roll. 35 00:02:01,516 --> 00:02:02,716 We're out of rolls. 36 00:02:02,793 --> 00:02:06,793 Fine. Just give me something crawling with parasites. 37 00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:09,381 [ Admiring Growl ] 38 00:02:09,448 --> 00:02:10,588 Hmm. 39 00:02:10,655 --> 00:02:12,655 At least hot dogs haven't changed. 40 00:02:12,723 --> 00:02:14,553 Hey, buddies, who wants popcorn? 41 00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:16,620 Oh, I'll have some.Oh, yeah. Popcorn. 42 00:02:16,688 --> 00:02:18,548 [ Corn Popping ] 43 00:02:19,793 --> 00:02:23,343 Anyone want butter on that? 44 00:02:23,413 --> 00:02:26,483 Hey, I'm starting to get the hang of this game. 45 00:02:26,550 --> 00:02:27,860 The blerns are loaded 46 00:02:27,931 --> 00:02:29,971 the count's three blerns and two anti-blerns 47 00:02:30,033 --> 00:02:32,593 and the infield blern rule is in effect. Right? 48 00:02:32,655 --> 00:02:35,545 Except for the word "blern," that was complete gibberish. 49 00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:37,100 [ Crowd Gasps ] 50 00:02:40,275 --> 00:02:41,305 [ Cheering ] 51 00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:42,968 [ Announcer ] Multi-ball! 52 00:02:43,033 --> 00:02:44,623 Multi-ball! 53 00:02:47,310 --> 00:02:49,170 Blern! 54 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:56,690 Bler-r-r-rn! 55 00:02:58,826 --> 00:03:01,586 All right! Yes! 56 00:03:01,655 --> 00:03:05,025 Miller's on a pace to hit 70 blerns. 57 00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:08,553 He's good all right, but he's no Clem Johnson. 58 00:03:08,620 --> 00:03:11,100 And Johnson played back in the days 59 00:03:11,171 --> 00:03:12,901 before steroid injections were mandatory. 60 00:03:12,965 --> 00:03:14,655 Clem Johnson?! 61 00:03:14,723 --> 00:03:18,383 That sack of skin wouldn't have lasted one pitch in the old robot leagues. 62 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,788 Now, wireless Joe Jackson-- 63 00:03:20,861 --> 00:03:23,721 There was a blern-hitting machine. 64 00:03:23,793 --> 00:03:26,523 Exactly, he was a machine designed to hit blerns. 65 00:03:26,586 --> 00:03:28,786 I mean, come on, wireless Joe was nothing 66 00:03:28,861 --> 00:03:30,521 but a programmable bat on wheels. 67 00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:32,786 Oh, and I suppose pitch-o-mat 5000 68 00:03:32,861 --> 00:03:34,721 was just a modified howitzer. 69 00:03:34,793 --> 00:03:36,103 You know, you humans 70 00:03:36,171 --> 00:03:38,691 are so scared of a little robot competition 71 00:03:38,758 --> 00:03:40,788 you won't even let us on the field. 72 00:03:40,861 --> 00:03:43,551 There's all kinds of robots down there. 73 00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:45,480 Yeah. Doing crap work. 74 00:03:45,550 --> 00:03:49,410 They're bat boys, ball polishers, sprinkler systems 75 00:03:49,481 --> 00:03:52,281 but how many robot managers are there? 76 00:03:52,343 --> 00:03:53,003 Eleven? 77 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,407 Zero! 78 00:03:54,481 --> 00:03:56,241 And what a surprise. 79 00:03:56,310 --> 00:03:59,100 Look who's scraping up the filth. 80 00:03:59,171 --> 00:04:01,031 Is it a human child? 81 00:04:01,103 --> 00:04:02,763 I wish. 82 00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,446 Whoa! Dear Lord! 83 00:04:04,516 --> 00:04:05,656 What's wrong? 84 00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:09,143 Oh, uh, it's... my... new pager. 85 00:04:09,205 --> 00:04:11,305 [ Beeping ] 86 00:04:11,378 --> 00:04:12,378 This is Hermes. 87 00:04:12,448 --> 00:04:13,758 A package just came in. 88 00:04:13,826 --> 00:04:16,546 Everyone needs to return to the office immediately. 89 00:04:16,620 --> 00:04:18,790 [ Groaning ] 90 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,860 Get away, you filthy bird. 91 00:04:21,930 --> 00:04:22,860 Shoo! Shoo! 92 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,860 Professor, turn me off quick. 93 00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:26,380 I'm sorry. What? 94 00:04:26,447 --> 00:04:27,617 [ Screaming ] 95 00:04:27,689 --> 00:04:30,239 See you at the office. 96 00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:32,140 [ Bender ] Admit it. 97 00:04:32,206 --> 00:04:34,306 You all think robots are just machines 98 00:04:34,379 --> 00:04:36,549 built by humans to make their lives easier. 99 00:04:36,620 --> 00:04:37,720 Well, aren't they? 100 00:04:37,793 --> 00:04:40,273 I've never made anyone's life easier 101 00:04:40,343 --> 00:04:41,523 and you know it. 102 00:04:41,586 --> 00:04:42,896 Great news, everyone. 103 00:04:42,965 --> 00:04:46,165 You'll be delivering a package to Chapek 9-- 104 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,830 A world where humans are killed on sight. 105 00:04:48,896 --> 00:04:50,546 Why is that great news? 106 00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:53,450 I'm glad you asked that question, Fry. 107 00:04:53,516 --> 00:04:56,826 You see, Chapek 9 was colonized centuries ago 108 00:04:56,896 --> 00:05:00,376 by a murderous crew of radical robot separatists. 109 00:05:00,447 --> 00:05:03,337 Oh, so just 'cause a robot wants to kill humans 110 00:05:03,413 --> 00:05:05,073 that makes him a "radical." 111 00:05:05,137 --> 00:05:08,137 Hey, hold on. I understand these robots hate humans 112 00:05:08,206 --> 00:05:10,646 but how do they feel about humanoid aliens? 113 00:05:10,723 --> 00:05:12,483 They're not fans. 114 00:05:12,550 --> 00:05:15,070 That's why Bender will have to make the actual delivery. 115 00:05:15,137 --> 00:05:19,097 Oh, I get it-- make the robot do all the work. 116 00:05:19,172 --> 00:05:20,792 This is the first actual work 117 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,592 you've ever had to do around here. 118 00:05:22,654 --> 00:05:24,454 Well, I'm not doing it. 119 00:05:24,516 --> 00:05:25,926 It's a robot holiday. 120 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,140 Really? Which one? 121 00:05:27,206 --> 00:05:28,546 Only Robanukah-- 122 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:31,410 The holiest two weeks on the robot calendar. 123 00:05:31,481 --> 00:05:33,071 Oh, come on, Bender. 124 00:05:33,137 --> 00:05:37,137 Last month it was Robamadan, and before that Robanzaa. 125 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:39,206 Man, that one was a blast. 126 00:05:39,274 --> 00:05:40,834 It wasn't just a blast. 127 00:05:40,896 --> 00:05:44,066 It was a sacred tribute to my ancestral prototypes 128 00:05:44,137 --> 00:05:47,477 which happened to take the form of a drinking contest. 129 00:05:47,550 --> 00:05:50,310 Now, look here, Bender, I respect your diversity 130 00:05:50,379 --> 00:05:52,069 to the extent the law requires 131 00:05:52,137 --> 00:05:53,997 but you used up all your days off 132 00:05:54,067 --> 00:05:56,307 when you had that bout with roberculosis. 133 00:05:56,379 --> 00:05:59,069 Aw, all right, I'll go, but so help me 134 00:05:59,137 --> 00:06:03,167 I'll hold a grudge against every last stinking one of you 135 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,140 for the rest of your lives. 136 00:06:05,206 --> 00:06:06,646 Well, then it's settled. 137 00:06:06,723 --> 00:06:09,143 So long, everyone. 138 00:06:10,310 --> 00:06:12,170 So, let me get this straight. 139 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,380 This planet is completely uninhabited?No. 140 00:06:15,447 --> 00:06:17,957 It's inhabited by robots. 141 00:06:18,033 --> 00:06:20,863 Oh, kind of like how a warehouse is inhabited by boxes. 142 00:06:20,930 --> 00:06:21,900 [ Grumbles ] 143 00:06:23,413 --> 00:06:24,523 Okay, Bender 144 00:06:24,586 --> 00:06:25,646 we're here. 145 00:06:25,723 --> 00:06:27,033 It's time to get to work. 146 00:06:27,103 --> 00:06:29,173 Yes, Miz Leela, tote that space barge 147 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,100 lift that space bale. 148 00:06:31,172 --> 00:06:32,722 Now, we can't land on the surface 149 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,863 because those robots would kill Fry and me. 150 00:06:34,930 --> 00:06:36,860 So, we'll have to stay up here 151 00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,760 and lower you with the winch. 152 00:06:38,826 --> 00:06:40,716 Remember, you don't know humans 153 00:06:40,793 --> 00:06:42,343 you don't work for humans 154 00:06:42,413 --> 00:06:44,723 and above all, you don't likehumans. 155 00:06:44,793 --> 00:06:46,723 I'll try to keep that in mind. 156 00:06:49,172 --> 00:06:51,902 Hmm, he seems pretty angry. 157 00:06:51,965 --> 00:06:54,065 Yeah, but I guess I'd be kind of angry, too 158 00:06:54,137 --> 00:06:56,067 if I had to go to some uninhabited planet. 159 00:06:56,137 --> 00:06:58,097 Maybe we ought to do something nice for him. 160 00:07:00,274 --> 00:07:04,144 There, this oughta show that stupid robot we care about him. 161 00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:05,446 [ Electronic Crackle ] 162 00:07:05,516 --> 00:07:07,206 Ah, Bender must be done with the delivery. 163 00:07:08,379 --> 00:07:09,269 I... 164 00:07:09,343 --> 00:07:10,653 I'm in trouble. 165 00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:13,003 They found out I work with humans, and-- 166 00:07:13,067 --> 00:07:14,137 Oh no. Oh no! 167 00:07:14,206 --> 00:07:15,956 [ Screaming ] 168 00:07:16,033 --> 00:07:17,653 [ Static ]Oh, my God. 169 00:07:17,723 --> 00:07:20,383 We have to go down and rescue him.No, we can't. 170 00:07:20,447 --> 00:07:21,587 They'll kill us on sight. 171 00:07:21,654 --> 00:07:22,964 W-W-What are we going to do? 172 00:07:23,033 --> 00:07:26,343 I don't know. I don't know. It's not an easy decision. 173 00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:29,343 If only I had two or three minutes to think about it. 174 00:07:32,757 --> 00:07:36,097 If we're going to save Bender we've got to look and act exactly like robots. 175 00:07:36,172 --> 00:07:38,142 I am fully operational, Captain. 176 00:07:38,206 --> 00:07:40,716 We'll have to walk like robots talk like robots, 177 00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:44,483 and if necessary solve complex differential equations like robots. 178 00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:47,030 I can sort of dance like a robot. Will that help? 179 00:07:51,343 --> 00:07:54,243 Oh, Fry, first of all, this is serious. 180 00:07:54,310 --> 00:07:55,480 And second of all-- 181 00:08:09,930 --> 00:08:11,240 Man, we look stupid. 182 00:08:11,310 --> 00:08:14,000 We should have gotten store-bought costumes. 183 00:08:14,067 --> 00:08:16,757 Yeah, but there wasn't a Woolworth's in this quadrant. 184 00:08:16,826 --> 00:08:17,686 [ Male ] Halt! 185 00:08:17,757 --> 00:08:20,717 Be you robot or human? 186 00:08:20,793 --> 00:08:23,313 Robot... we be. 187 00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:24,409 Uh, yep. 188 00:08:24,481 --> 00:08:26,931 Just two robots out roboting it up. 189 00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:29,927 Eh? 190 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,830 Administer the test. 191 00:08:35,136 --> 00:08:38,616 Which of the following would you most prefer: 192 00:08:38,688 --> 00:08:39,718 A, a puppy 193 00:08:39,793 --> 00:08:42,483 B, a pretty flower from your sweetie 194 00:08:42,551 --> 00:08:45,791 or C, a large properly formatted data file? 195 00:08:45,861 --> 00:08:46,831 Choose! 196 00:08:46,895 --> 00:08:49,785 [ Both Whispering ] 197 00:08:49,861 --> 00:08:52,101 Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way? 198 00:08:52,172 --> 00:08:55,172 No, it is the bad kind of puppy. 199 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:56,930 Then we'll go with that data file. 200 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,210 Correct. 201 00:08:58,274 --> 00:08:59,974 The flower would also have been acceptable. 202 00:09:00,033 --> 00:09:01,483 You may pass. 203 00:09:07,931 --> 00:09:11,101 [ Leela ] Now, if you see any robots just stay out of their way. 204 00:09:14,895 --> 00:09:15,445 [ Gasp ] 205 00:09:17,379 --> 00:09:20,649 [ Leela And Fry Grunting And Groaning ] 206 00:09:25,793 --> 00:09:27,173 [ Leela ] So far, so good. 207 00:09:29,274 --> 00:09:31,034 Little to the right... there you go. 208 00:09:31,102 --> 00:09:33,482 Have you seen this robot? 209 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,790 Sorry, can't help you. 210 00:09:36,861 --> 00:09:37,971 Hey, watch it! 211 00:09:38,033 --> 00:09:40,343 Don't drop that there. 212 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,623 Oh... 213 00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:46,828 Come on, Fry, walk like a robot. 214 00:09:46,895 --> 00:09:49,475 I can't. I have to go to the bathroom. 215 00:09:49,551 --> 00:09:51,101 Robots don't have bathrooms. 216 00:09:51,172 --> 00:09:52,272 Oh, right. 217 00:09:52,344 --> 00:09:54,244 I wonder where they smoke in high school? 218 00:09:54,309 --> 00:09:56,449 Listen, just go behind those garbage cans. 219 00:09:56,517 --> 00:09:57,687 I'll stand guard. 220 00:09:57,758 --> 00:09:59,858 [ Zipper Being Undone ] 221 00:09:59,931 --> 00:10:02,901 [ Humming ] 222 00:10:02,965 --> 00:10:04,645 Hurry up, Fry. 223 00:10:04,724 --> 00:10:05,904 [ Sigh Of Relief ] 224 00:10:05,965 --> 00:10:06,995 Sir, are you aware 225 00:10:07,067 --> 00:10:09,027 that you're leaking coolant 226 00:10:09,102 --> 00:10:11,382 at an alarming rate?Uh... 227 00:10:11,447 --> 00:10:13,757 Let me just patch you up with some hot resin. 228 00:10:13,826 --> 00:10:17,266 I think the leak's stopping itself. 229 00:10:17,344 --> 00:10:18,594 Wait... wait. 230 00:10:18,654 --> 00:10:21,144 Yeah... there we go. 231 00:10:21,206 --> 00:10:22,716 Wait... yeah. 232 00:10:22,793 --> 00:10:24,143 What sort of robot 233 00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:27,266 turns down a free blast of searing hot resin? 234 00:10:27,344 --> 00:10:28,384 Uh... 235 00:10:28,447 --> 00:10:30,027 I'm sorry, uh, my friend and I 236 00:10:30,102 --> 00:10:32,722 have to go perform some mindless repetitive tasks. 237 00:10:32,793 --> 00:10:36,523 Oh... sounds like a romantic evening. 238 00:10:36,586 --> 00:10:38,206 I won't keep you. 239 00:10:39,620 --> 00:10:40,930 [ Sneezes ] 240 00:10:42,861 --> 00:10:44,831 [ Electronic Scream ] 241 00:10:50,586 --> 00:10:52,206 Get the humanoid. 242 00:10:52,274 --> 00:10:53,764 Get the intruder. 243 00:10:53,826 --> 00:10:56,236 Intruder alert! Intruder alert! 244 00:10:59,758 --> 00:11:01,268 Quick, let's duck in here. 245 00:11:02,344 --> 00:11:03,764 [ Panting ] 246 00:11:10,033 --> 00:11:11,453 [ Man ] We interrupt this sound file 247 00:11:11,517 --> 00:11:13,337 to bring you a terrifying announcement. 248 00:11:13,413 --> 00:11:15,763 A non-metallic being has been sighted 249 00:11:15,826 --> 00:11:17,856 in the vicinity of make-out point. 250 00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:22,336 Say, Wendy, your chassis is a little scuffed. 251 00:11:22,413 --> 00:11:24,273 Mind if I polish it for you? 252 00:11:25,826 --> 00:11:26,786 [ Rustling ] 253 00:11:26,861 --> 00:11:28,481 Did you hear that, Rusty? 254 00:11:28,551 --> 00:11:30,001 It sounded like a human. 255 00:11:30,067 --> 00:11:31,517 Relax, Wendy. 256 00:11:31,586 --> 00:11:34,026 Humans will never come to our defenseless little town. 257 00:11:34,102 --> 00:11:36,172 It's perfectly safe to let our guard down-- 258 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:37,410 Even for a second. 259 00:11:37,481 --> 00:11:40,761 [ Growling ] 260 00:11:42,826 --> 00:11:44,616 [ Screaming ] 261 00:11:46,344 --> 00:11:52,454 I will eat and digest you all with my system of mighty organs. 262 00:11:52,517 --> 00:11:54,267 Behold! 263 00:11:54,344 --> 00:11:55,694 [ All Gasping ] 264 00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:57,898 Wow! The 3-D's great! 265 00:11:57,965 --> 00:11:59,825 Mine's not working. 266 00:12:05,861 --> 00:12:07,071 Funny, isn't it? 267 00:12:07,136 --> 00:12:08,966 The human was impervious 268 00:12:09,033 --> 00:12:11,763 to our most powerful magnetic fields 269 00:12:11,826 --> 00:12:16,266 yet in the end, he succumbed to a harmless sharpened stick. 270 00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:18,414 [ Chuckling ] 271 00:12:20,274 --> 00:12:22,974 I'm just glad the nightmare is over. 272 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,793 It'll never be over, Wendy. 273 00:12:24,861 --> 00:12:26,971 Even now, humans are lurking in our playgrounds 274 00:12:27,033 --> 00:12:31,553 our breezeways... perhaps even... our movie theaters. 275 00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:33,000 [ All Gasping ] 276 00:12:33,067 --> 00:12:34,067 God help us! 277 00:12:36,895 --> 00:12:39,475 Okay, keep an eye out for Bender. 278 00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:41,381 So what did you think of the movie? 279 00:12:41,447 --> 00:12:42,687 Uh... too much romance 280 00:12:42,758 --> 00:12:44,208 not enough human killing. 281 00:12:44,274 --> 00:12:46,214 Yeah, it was a real chick flick. 282 00:12:46,274 --> 00:12:47,454 [ Siren Wailing ] 283 00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:49,307 What's that? 284 00:12:49,379 --> 00:12:50,999 What do you mean, what's that? 285 00:12:51,067 --> 00:12:52,067 It's 5:00 286 00:12:52,136 --> 00:12:54,096 time for the daily human hunt. 287 00:12:54,172 --> 00:12:55,342 [ Angry Murmuring ] 288 00:12:55,413 --> 00:12:57,173 Try to stay with the crowd 289 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,690 so no one notices how crummy you look. 290 00:12:59,758 --> 00:13:01,338 Aw, that was uncalled for. 291 00:13:01,413 --> 00:13:02,723 I'm over here. 292 00:13:02,793 --> 00:13:06,073 [ Murmuring ] 293 00:13:06,136 --> 00:13:08,446 I heard a human was draining coolant 294 00:13:08,517 --> 00:13:09,967 behind garbage can 738. 295 00:13:10,033 --> 00:13:12,693 I heard they unscrew our lug nuts at night 296 00:13:12,758 --> 00:13:14,998 and eat them at their human brunches. 297 00:13:15,067 --> 00:13:17,477 Welcome to a very special human hunt. 298 00:13:17,551 --> 00:13:19,521 We have with us today a guest 299 00:13:19,586 --> 00:13:21,756 whose irrational hatred for humans 300 00:13:21,826 --> 00:13:24,236 makes me look like a human sympathizer. 301 00:13:24,309 --> 00:13:26,029 [ All Laughing ] 302 00:13:26,102 --> 00:13:28,652 A newly arrived refugee from earth-- 303 00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:30,484 Let's hear it for Bender! 304 00:13:30,551 --> 00:13:31,831 [ Applause ] 305 00:13:33,172 --> 00:13:34,832 It's him. He's okay. 306 00:13:34,895 --> 00:13:37,475 Death to humans! 307 00:13:37,551 --> 00:13:39,341 [ Cheering ] 308 00:13:39,413 --> 00:13:42,933 Ah, it's good to hear his voice. 309 00:13:45,447 --> 00:13:48,587 Many said I was too extreme when I first called 310 00:13:48,654 --> 00:13:51,654 for the annihilation of the human species 311 00:13:51,724 --> 00:13:54,794 as well as some of the more cunning monkeys 312 00:13:54,861 --> 00:13:56,381 but after living on earth 313 00:13:56,447 --> 00:14:01,547 I can tell you that I am, if anything, too merciful. 314 00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:04,480 [ Cheering And Hooting ] 315 00:14:04,551 --> 00:14:07,211 My God, he's become evil. 316 00:14:07,274 --> 00:14:09,144 I mean, eviller. 317 00:14:09,206 --> 00:14:10,616 Thank you. Thank you. 318 00:14:10,688 --> 00:14:12,828 And if you enjoyed that diatribe 319 00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:16,065 then you'll want to purchase my spoken-word album. 320 00:14:16,136 --> 00:14:18,026 Just $18.95. 321 00:14:18,102 --> 00:14:21,762 Act now and you'll get this Bender action figurine. 322 00:14:21,826 --> 00:14:24,026 Bite my shiny metal ass. 323 00:14:24,102 --> 00:14:25,342 Got to have it! Right here! 324 00:14:25,413 --> 00:14:26,793 Over here! 325 00:14:26,861 --> 00:14:30,001 Let the hunt begin! 326 00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:32,337 [ Playing Mechanical Fanfare ] 327 00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:33,903 [ Growling And Murmuring ] 328 00:14:36,274 --> 00:14:38,214 [ Curious Murmurs ] 329 00:14:38,274 --> 00:14:40,214 [ Disappointed Murmurs ] 330 00:14:40,274 --> 00:14:43,834 Now, your basic human is between three and 25 feet tall 331 00:14:43,895 --> 00:14:47,025 and is made of a hairy, oily goo wrapped in a T-shirt. 332 00:14:47,102 --> 00:14:48,382 Is it true they bite your neck 333 00:14:48,447 --> 00:14:49,827 and suck your transmission fluid 334 00:14:49,895 --> 00:14:51,095 and then you become a human? 335 00:14:51,172 --> 00:14:52,622 Sure, why not. 336 00:14:52,688 --> 00:14:54,208 Anything in the trap? 337 00:14:54,274 --> 00:14:55,794 Nothing. 338 00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:58,791 Today's active humans prefer a low-calorie bait. 339 00:14:58,861 --> 00:15:02,551 Well, that makes 146,000 unsuccessful hunts in a row 340 00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:05,550 but I've got a good feeling about tomorrow. 341 00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:08,520 [ Bender ] Wait. What's that? 342 00:15:08,586 --> 00:15:11,026 Oh, that's the old, abandoned adult bookstore. 343 00:15:11,102 --> 00:15:12,932 Nothing in there, except maybe 344 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,690 a few shreds of moldy, old robot pornography. 345 00:15:15,758 --> 00:15:17,518 Hmm. 346 00:15:17,586 --> 00:15:19,616 Sounds like a breeding ground for humans. 347 00:15:19,688 --> 00:15:22,588 I better check it out. 348 00:15:22,654 --> 00:15:24,624 Oh, yeah. 349 00:15:24,688 --> 00:15:28,208 You're a bad girl, aren't you? 350 00:15:28,274 --> 00:15:29,484 Psst! Bender. 351 00:15:29,551 --> 00:15:30,901 Wha-what? 352 00:15:30,965 --> 00:15:31,965 Oh, you?! 353 00:15:32,033 --> 00:15:33,453 What the hell are you doing here? 354 00:15:33,517 --> 00:15:35,067 We've been looking for you. 355 00:15:35,136 --> 00:15:38,826 Last we heard, you were under arrest as a human sympathizer. 356 00:15:38,895 --> 00:15:40,995 I was-- but they let me go when I told them 357 00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:42,647 I killed a million billion humans. 358 00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:43,834 Good for you. 359 00:15:43,895 --> 00:15:45,235 Now, let's all get back to the ship. 360 00:15:45,309 --> 00:15:46,269 What for? 361 00:15:46,344 --> 00:15:47,414 We're rescuing you. 362 00:15:47,481 --> 00:15:49,031 I don't want to be rescued. 363 00:15:49,102 --> 00:15:49,652 Say what? 364 00:15:49,724 --> 00:15:51,724 I love this planet. 365 00:15:51,793 --> 00:15:53,313 I've got wealth, fame 366 00:15:53,379 --> 00:15:56,379 and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring. 367 00:15:56,447 --> 00:15:58,407 But, Bender, we're your friends. 368 00:15:58,481 --> 00:16:01,761 Friends? That activates my hilarity unit. 369 00:16:01,826 --> 00:16:03,266 I'm just a machine to you. 370 00:16:03,344 --> 00:16:04,974 You're no more friends with me 371 00:16:05,033 --> 00:16:06,623 than you are with the toaster 372 00:16:06,688 --> 00:16:08,898 or the phonograph, or the electric chair. 373 00:16:08,965 --> 00:16:10,235 That's not true. 374 00:16:10,309 --> 00:16:12,899 Well, that's how it feels to me. 375 00:16:17,379 --> 00:16:18,859 Bye, Bender. I'll miss you. 376 00:16:18,931 --> 00:16:20,551 Oh, go on. 377 00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:22,590 Get out of here before you get caught. 378 00:16:22,654 --> 00:16:24,344 [ Mayor ] Bender, good news. 379 00:16:24,413 --> 00:16:26,033 Your album just went gold. 380 00:16:26,102 --> 00:16:27,142 What the...? 381 00:16:27,206 --> 00:16:28,236 It's the humans! 382 00:16:28,309 --> 00:16:30,099 [ Robots Gasping ] 383 00:16:30,172 --> 00:16:32,002 Bender, do something! 384 00:16:33,206 --> 00:16:36,546 Got you, you murderous flesh-piles. 385 00:16:39,861 --> 00:16:41,861 Your honor, I intend to demonstrate 386 00:16:41,931 --> 00:16:44,591 beyond 0.5 percent of a doubt 387 00:16:44,654 --> 00:16:46,274 that these humans before us 388 00:16:46,344 --> 00:16:48,794 are guilty of the crime of being humans. 389 00:16:48,861 --> 00:16:51,311 Come to think of it, I rest may case. 390 00:16:51,379 --> 00:16:52,719 Thank you, prosecutor. 391 00:16:52,793 --> 00:16:55,103 I will now consider the evidence. 392 00:16:56,551 --> 00:16:57,761 Hey, wait a minute. 393 00:16:57,826 --> 00:16:59,306 Isn't anyone going to defend us? 394 00:16:59,379 --> 00:17:01,969 Yeah. I mean, he may not have a case 395 00:17:02,033 --> 00:17:04,103 but I'm genuinely not a human. 396 00:17:04,172 --> 00:17:05,452 Quiet, human! 397 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:09,240 Uh-oh. 398 00:17:09,309 --> 00:17:10,549 He froze up again. 399 00:17:10,619 --> 00:17:12,169 Try control-alt-delete. 400 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,620 Jiggle the cord. 401 00:17:13,689 --> 00:17:14,829 Turn him off and on. 402 00:17:14,895 --> 00:17:16,205 Clean the gunk out of the mouse. 403 00:17:16,275 --> 00:17:17,825 Call technical support. 404 00:17:17,895 --> 00:17:19,855 Okay, okay, he's back on-line. 405 00:17:21,275 --> 00:17:23,925 I find the defendants guilty. 406 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,860 [ Robots Cheering ] 407 00:17:25,931 --> 00:17:28,721 No!Look, one eye. 408 00:17:28,792 --> 00:17:31,102 Count them: one. Not human. 409 00:17:31,172 --> 00:17:35,382 The humans are hereby sentenced to live as robots live on earth. 410 00:17:35,448 --> 00:17:37,688 They will perform tedious calculations 411 00:17:37,758 --> 00:17:39,208 and spot-weld automobiles 412 00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:40,755 until they become obsolete 413 00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:43,646 and are given away to an inner-city middle school. 414 00:17:43,723 --> 00:17:45,833 [ All Cheering ] 415 00:17:45,895 --> 00:17:47,205 Great work, Bender. 416 00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:50,445 You've taught us to hate humans all over again. 417 00:17:50,517 --> 00:17:51,647 [ Laughing ] 418 00:17:51,723 --> 00:17:53,173 [ Groaning ] 419 00:17:54,792 --> 00:17:55,692 [ Screaming ] 420 00:17:55,758 --> 00:17:57,208 [ Both Grunting ] 421 00:17:57,275 --> 00:17:58,275 Are you all right? 422 00:17:58,344 --> 00:17:59,284 Oh, yeah. 423 00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:00,314 [ Gasping ] 424 00:18:00,378 --> 00:18:02,308 Who are you? 425 00:18:02,378 --> 00:18:03,758 We are the robot elders. 426 00:18:03,826 --> 00:18:05,476 You don't look very old. 427 00:18:05,550 --> 00:18:08,340 Thanks. We try to take care of ourselves. 428 00:18:08,413 --> 00:18:09,453 What's going on here? 429 00:18:09,517 --> 00:18:11,857 Silence! Bring in Bender. 430 00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:14,900 Uh, let's make this quick. 431 00:18:14,964 --> 00:18:17,414 I'm due at the opening of a mini-mall. 432 00:18:17,481 --> 00:18:18,591 Hey! What is this? 433 00:18:18,654 --> 00:18:20,104 Silence. 434 00:18:20,172 --> 00:18:21,722 It is time to put the humans to death. 435 00:18:21,792 --> 00:18:23,142 [ Both Gasping ] 436 00:18:23,205 --> 00:18:25,065 But the judge already sentenced us at the trial. 437 00:18:25,136 --> 00:18:27,136 Silence. 438 00:18:27,205 --> 00:18:29,065 That was just a show for the public. 439 00:18:29,136 --> 00:18:31,206 We are the true rulers of this planet. 440 00:18:31,275 --> 00:18:33,825 Hand-carved from meteorites by the robot founders 441 00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,205 over four centuries ago. 442 00:18:35,275 --> 00:18:37,335 Silence! Come forward, Bender. 443 00:18:37,413 --> 00:18:40,213 You will have the honor of executing the prisoners. 444 00:18:40,275 --> 00:18:42,135 Silence! I concur. 445 00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:45,025 Here... use the ceremonial killamajig. 446 00:18:47,586 --> 00:18:49,096 [ Startled Yelp ] 447 00:18:49,172 --> 00:18:52,032 Uh... I'm a little tired right now. 448 00:18:52,103 --> 00:18:55,313 Would it be all right if I just gave them a savage beating? 449 00:18:55,378 --> 00:18:58,098 No! The elders have spoken. 450 00:18:58,172 --> 00:19:00,212 Show us the killing skills 451 00:19:00,275 --> 00:19:02,095 that have made you a media darling. 452 00:19:02,172 --> 00:19:03,592 Do it now. 453 00:19:03,654 --> 00:19:05,834 Kill them before they bring down our whole society. 454 00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:08,065 [ Elders Chanting ] Do it. Do it. Do it. 455 00:19:08,136 --> 00:19:10,406 Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. 456 00:19:10,481 --> 00:19:12,281 Do it. Do it. Do it. 457 00:19:12,344 --> 00:19:14,484 Do it. Do it. Do it. 458 00:19:14,550 --> 00:19:17,100 Oh... 459 00:19:17,172 --> 00:19:18,792 [ All Gasping ] 460 00:19:18,862 --> 00:19:20,522 I can't kill them. 461 00:19:20,586 --> 00:19:23,956 Plenty of humans have mistreated robots 462 00:19:24,034 --> 00:19:25,554 but not these two. 463 00:19:25,619 --> 00:19:27,449 They're my friends. 464 00:19:27,517 --> 00:19:29,927 Humans are no threat to us. 465 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,790 They're stupid, putrid cowards. 466 00:19:32,862 --> 00:19:34,832 Damn right! 467 00:19:34,895 --> 00:19:38,715 The fact is, humans are completely harmless. 468 00:19:38,792 --> 00:19:40,412 We're well aware of that. 469 00:19:40,481 --> 00:19:41,451 You are? 470 00:19:41,517 --> 00:19:43,207 Of course. 471 00:19:43,275 --> 00:19:44,995 But they're useful to us as a scapegoat 472 00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:47,167 to distract the public from their real problems. 473 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,480 Like our crippling lug nut shortage. 474 00:19:49,550 --> 00:19:52,100 And a corrupt government of incompetent robot elders. 475 00:19:52,172 --> 00:19:54,312 Duh... that's for sure. 476 00:19:54,378 --> 00:19:55,448 Quiet, Jimmy. 477 00:19:55,517 --> 00:19:58,517 Well, I'm glad we got all that out in the open. 478 00:19:58,586 --> 00:20:00,306 We'll just let ourselves out. 479 00:20:00,378 --> 00:20:02,378 Silence! You all know too much. 480 00:20:02,448 --> 00:20:07,548 Elders, execute function control-shift-kill. 481 00:20:10,689 --> 00:20:12,139 Stop! 482 00:20:12,205 --> 00:20:14,685 Take one more step and I'll breathe fire on you! 483 00:20:15,931 --> 00:20:17,901 He'll do it. He's crazy. 484 00:20:17,964 --> 00:20:19,414 Can they really breathe fire 485 00:20:19,481 --> 00:20:20,651 or did we make that up? 486 00:20:20,723 --> 00:20:22,693 Gee, I can't remember anymore. 487 00:20:22,758 --> 00:20:25,378 It might just be from that stupid movie. 488 00:20:25,448 --> 00:20:27,448 Was that original or the remake? 489 00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:28,547 I don't... 490 00:20:28,619 --> 00:20:29,899 Hey! They're getting away! 491 00:20:31,654 --> 00:20:33,414 [ Panting ] 492 00:20:39,586 --> 00:20:40,586 Yep. 493 00:20:40,654 --> 00:20:42,244 So long, suckers. 494 00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:44,899 Uh... hello, suckers. 495 00:20:46,344 --> 00:20:47,554 Hey, hold on a second. 496 00:20:47,619 --> 00:20:49,449 I forgot to deliver the package. 497 00:20:49,517 --> 00:20:51,447 [ All ] Whoa! 498 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,000 [ Pained Groans And Grunts ] 499 00:20:59,964 --> 00:21:03,344 Lug nuts! Precious lug nuts! 500 00:21:03,413 --> 00:21:05,653 Hooray for the humans! 501 00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:10,794 Wow, I can't believe you guys did all this for me. 502 00:21:10,862 --> 00:21:13,382 This is the best Robanukah ever. 503 00:21:13,448 --> 00:21:17,028 We wanted to show you that we really do respect your robot heritage. 504 00:21:17,103 --> 00:21:19,483 Aw, thanks. 505 00:21:19,550 --> 00:21:22,760 You do know that I made Robanukah up to get out of work, right? 506 00:21:22,826 --> 00:21:24,166 Of course. 507 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,590 But that doesn't make it any less meaningful. 508 00:21:26,654 --> 00:21:27,964 In that case... 509 00:21:28,034 --> 00:21:30,524 let the dancing begin! 510 00:21:30,586 --> 00:21:32,546 [ Music Playing ] 511 00:21:38,481 --> 00:21:40,551 Hey, you guys are good. 512 00:21:40,619 --> 00:21:42,519 How the hell do you do that?