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♪ Italian string music playing ♪
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♪ theme song playing ♪
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♪
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Get ready for an event so awesome
it could only be called...
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InfyrnoFest!
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Every other name was taken.
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One solid month of premium entertainment,
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200 bands on 300 stages!
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♪
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[yawns] Just another music festival.
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HOST [on TV]: InfyrnoFest is
not just another music festival!
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[gasps] I was wrong, Bender!
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HOST: It's an audio-sensory quest
to disrupt the impossible
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and transcend the transformative!
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- What'd I miss?
- We need tickets fast!
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Can I buy 'em by just thinking about it?
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Apparently!
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HOST: Did we mention
the belly-busting buffet?
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No! Why did you keep it a secret?
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HOST: Register for
the snooty VIP experience
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featuring snooty villas!
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You had me at snooty!
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This is ridiculous!
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We can't take a month off
for this kind of nonsense.
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HOST: Keep it chill
in our imported atmosphere
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[echoing]
with 30% THC!
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[gasps] The atmosphere is pre-danked?
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Ask yourself, are you
young and hip enough for...
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[echoing]
InfyrnoFest?!
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Hell no!
So, I demand a senior discount.
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Whoo! We're all going!
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- I'm not going.
- But you love things like this.
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- I do?
- No. I was trying to trick you.
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Good try, buddy.
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I have plans to spend time
with my new friend, Chelsea.
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She's going through
some things right now.
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New friend?
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[mocking]
Does she live in a shoe?
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No. Now look,
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I'm sure you all
feel bad going without me,
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but just try to have a good--
[door slams]
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[ship whirring, blasts off]
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[sighs]
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[rotary phone dialing,
old-timey ring]
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Leela! Hi! What's up?
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Hey, Chelsea.
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Ooh, I love the diamond necklace.
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Oh, this? [laughs] It's not real.
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Doesn't Fry ever get you jewelry?
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He made me a bracelet
out of spaghetti once.
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He's a keeper!
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[both giggle]
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♪ majestic music playing ♪
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There it is!
The InfyrnoFest party planet!
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I'm takin' her into the parking lot.
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[tires screech]
[horns honking]
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[whirring, thud]
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[grunting, yelling]
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Watch your steps.
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[wind blowing]
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A potty! That's the thing I need to go!
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Uh, excuse me, there's a line.
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[whooshing]
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♪ dramatic sting ♪
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[sighs] I'll just pee on this tree.
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[unzips]
[tree sighs]
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I'll just pee on this human.
[unzips]
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Uh...
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Welcome to the InfyrnoFest experience!
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How we feelin'?
- Less than buzzed.
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[sniffing] I'm not detecting any THC.
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Yo, no oxygen either.
Atmosphere truck broke down.
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But follow me to your
freakin' cool accommodations!
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♪ snooty music playing ♪
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Welcome to the VIP Village!
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Where is it?
[crunch]
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Ewww!
- Not cool.
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I'm gonna have some choice words
for the contractor.
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[alien gibberish]
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Don't hit me!
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I know what will make us feel better!
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The belly-busting buffet.
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♪ techno music playing ♪
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I'll have a small cup of gazpacho,
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the fig and goat cheese salad,
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five whole turkeys, and a baked Alaska.
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Here's your bologna sandwich.
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I'll have the prime rib,
seared scallops,
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asparagus with hollandaise sauce,
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and two dozen cream puffs.
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Here's your bologna sandwich.
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I'll have a bologna sandwich.
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Sorry, we're out of bologna.
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Well, at least I'm still looking forward
to the hundreds of top bands.
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Then you, my friend, are in luck.
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Bad luck. They all bailed out.
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♪ electric guitar playing ♪
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Except Wailing Fungus.
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I got 'em to stay by promising 'em
the last slice of bologna.
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You bastard.
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[tapping mic]
- Are you ready to rock?
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[crowd cheering]
I said, are you ready to rock?!
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[excited cheering]
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Hang on a second. I'm not ready to rock.
[mic feedback]
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[screeching]
[bandstand rattling]
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[rumbling]
[creaking]
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[snap]
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Now, I'm ready.
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[smashing, glass shattering]
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That's the best damn show I ever saw!
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[siren blaring]
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♪ news intro music playing ♪
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The ill-fated festival ended
with the arrest of its organizer,
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along with a major outbreak
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of Venusian Bologna Fever.
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[laughs]
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At least those hipsters died slowly!
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♪
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Is everybody okay? Is anybody hurt?
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Nobody's okay! Everybody's hurt!
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[crew cheering, laughing]
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Sounds like you had a good time?
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No, it was the worst time ever!
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- Pure torture!
- A disaster!
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The worst!
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HERMES:
And now for the real fun.
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Deducting the money we wasted
as business expenses!
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[typing, beep]
Hm. That's odd.
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There were some huge phone charges
while we were gone.
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$5.99 a minute? For hours?
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Oh. That was me,
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talking to my friend Chelsea.
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But phone calls are free!
134
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Um... It was long distance?
135
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You can call a parallel universe
for two cents an hour!
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I bet it was one of those
disgusting party sex lines!
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Oh, no, wait.
Those are only $5.98 a minute.
138
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There were some of those, too!
And you weren't even here!
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- They call me.
- Most of the calls went to
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a "Chatty Chelsea Chatbot service."
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[gasps]
Leela, is that your friend Chelsea?
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Does she work there?
- Sort of.
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Oh, my God! Your friend is a chatbot?!
144
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[sighs] Fine. Yes.
Are you happy?
145
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I've been feeling like
I don't have any real friends,
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so I joined a chatbot service
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to learn to interact with people.
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And it worked.
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Chelsea is my best friend now!
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Your best friend is an AI
who you pay to talk to?
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How embarrassing.
152
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For Chelsea!
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[all but Leela and Fry laugh]
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PROFESSOR:
Good one.
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Well, at least it's a business expense.
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[beep, cash register dings]
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♪ melancholy music playing ♪
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Leela, it's okay to
have a chatbot friend,
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but you have real friends, too.
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In fact, you're my best friend.
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I thought I was your best friend!
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Oh, right. Well,
Leela's my best friend I can cuddle.
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I like to cuddle. You never asked!
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I love you, Fry,
but you can't be everything.
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I need a girlfriend I can
just gab with about whatever.
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Say, surely one of us could be
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your close female friend.
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♪ sentimental music playing ♪
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I guess not.
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[thud]
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Leela, listen.
I'm in a women's book club,
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and we're looking for new members.
173
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Book club? More like bore club.
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[all but Leela and Amy laugh]
- Nice!
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I don't even like books.
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It's just fun to hang out.
You should join.
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I don't know.
It might be awkward.
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Aw, give it a try, Leela.
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True friendships come
from shared experiences.
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Like InfyrnoFest.
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We ate bologna and got a disease!
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Good times, good times.
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♪
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So, Chelsea,
I think I'm gonna join a book club
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with real live women in it.
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00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:11,366
Well, that's great,
187
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but are you sure you're ready for that?
188
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Why wouldn't I be?
I know how to read.
189
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I'm good at sitting.
190
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Look, a group setting can be tricky.
191
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And then, there's your sense of humor.
192
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What's wrong with my sense of humor?
193
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It's awfully knock-knock-joke based.
194
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You know, 78.2% actually
195
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I think you're wrong, Chelsea.
196
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I'm gonna do great in that book club.
197
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And I'm not just about knock-knock jokes.
198
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I know a lot of animal riddles.
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♪
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[siren wailing]
201
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I hereby call the book club
meetin' to order.
202
00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:50,572
First item on the agenda,
remove looky-loos.
203
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,908
Get out, ya testoseroons!
204
00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:56,328
Ladies only.
- Fine. We don't wanna be here anyway.
205
00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:58,997
Come on, men.
Let's go do manly things,
206
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:02,125
like helping a friend evict
some raccoons from his dumpster.
207
00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:06,880
Alright, ladies,
we got ourselves some new members today.
208
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,966
Go on now and introduce yourselves.
209
00:09:08,966 --> 00:09:12,094
Hi, I'm Vyolet.
I'm a sewer mutant,
210
00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:13,887
and my favorite authors are
211
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,932
Edgar Allan Poo, H.G. Smells,
212
00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:18,809
and George R.R. Martin.
213
00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:20,936
Hey! I'm Phoebe.
214
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,354
I like true crime
215
00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:23,939
'cause it gives me ideas!
216
00:09:23,939 --> 00:09:25,858
[all laugh]
217
00:09:25,858 --> 00:09:27,568
Oh gosh. My turn?
218
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,319
Well, I'm Leela,
219
00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:31,405
and I just finished reading
220
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:34,700
Profiles in Prairie Dog Courage.
221
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:37,703
Did you know a marmot once
stopped voter fraud in Idaho?
222
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:42,249
Hey, this seems like
a good time to pop a cork.
223
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,042
[all agreeing]
224
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:45,544
God, yes!
[cork pops]
225
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,716
It's so awkward coming in
as a new person, isn't it?
226
00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:52,134
I know, right?
227
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:55,220
I'm scared I'll say something dumb
and look stupid.
228
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,764
Same.
Maybe we can look stupid together.
229
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:58,849
[giggles] Doy!
230
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,226
[laughs]
[glasses clink]
231
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:05,105
So, how did everyone like
Crazy Rich Martians? Amy?
232
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:08,233
At first, I was afraid
it would hit too close to home,
233
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,027
so I never read it. Lauren?
234
00:10:10,027 --> 00:10:12,529
Yeah, um, I thought the, uh,
235
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:16,033
craziness was a compelling metaphor
for the...
236
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,535
Okay, look, I didn't read it either!
237
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:21,121
Fancy ladies with their books.
238
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,873
Think they're so great.
239
00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:25,542
Say, we should form our own book club.
240
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,586
With blackjack! And hookers!
241
00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:29,421
In fact, forget the books!
242
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,257
So wait, none of us read the book?
243
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:35,636
LaBarbara, last week,
you said you'd already read most of it.
244
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:37,429
Most of the jacket.
245
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:40,891
I got as far as,
"It's a literary tour de."
246
00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:44,436
Uh, I'm new here,
but if nobody's into reading,
247
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:47,147
maybe there's something else
we'd enjoy more. [snorts]
248
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,775
Yes! A shared activity.
249
00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:51,652
That's how you make friends.
250
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:54,696
[clears throat]
- Well, how about gardening?
251
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,156
You can smoke what you pick.
252
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,408
I-I mean, eat what you pick.
253
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,077
[all disagreeing]
254
00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:02,204
- Hiking?
- Quilting?
255
00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:04,122
Drinking?
[all agreeing]
256
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,457
LABARBARA:
Bingo!
257
00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:08,043
Hey, why do we go to
a winery for the weekend?
258
00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:10,212
We can just drink wine and hang out.
259
00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:11,547
And drink wine!
260
00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:12,756
[glasses clink]
261
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:15,259
♪ upbeat music playing ♪
262
00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:17,678
So, what did everyone
think of my book pick?
263
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:19,596
Adventure Boys number three,
264
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:21,431
Trouble on Trouble Island.
265
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,600
Feh! Needs ketchup.
[book crashes]
266
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:27,145
It was kind of obvious
the old prospector was the counterfeiter.
267
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:29,064
There were only three people in the book,
268
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:31,275
and two of them were the Adventure Boys.
269
00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:35,529
Agreed. I think we're ready
for more challenging material.
270
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:38,031
May I suggest Adventure Boys number 10,
271
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,534
The Ghost of Ghost Mountain?
- No, you may not.
272
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:43,036
♪
273
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,788
You're going on a what?
274
00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:48,250
A girls' weekend!
With my new wine club friends.
275
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:51,295
I'm taking a red top
in case I spill burgundy,
276
00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:52,629
white for chardonnay,
277
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,506
and paisley in case I barf.
278
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:58,343
But I cleared out my entire weekend
so we could hang out, Leela.
279
00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:00,179
You know, maybe go shopping.
280
00:12:00,179 --> 00:12:02,139
For what? You're a chatbot.
281
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:03,807
Chatbots can shop!
282
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:07,519
But I guess you're just
too busy with your friends.
283
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:10,063
It's only two days.
284
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,816
Look, I gotta go.
The girlmobile is outside.
285
00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:14,318
Talk to you later!
[beep]
286
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,948
♪ horror music playing ♪
287
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,742
Leela! Leela!
288
00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:23,619
♪ horror music crescendos ♪
289
00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:26,246
[distorted]
Leela!
290
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,249
♪ bright music playing ♪
291
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:32,252
[girlmobile whirring]
292
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:35,214
[excited chatter]
293
00:12:35,214 --> 00:12:36,965
VYOLET:
Is that a chicken?
294
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:37,966
[squawk]
295
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:40,886
Welcome to my humble family winery.
296
00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:42,137
You have a family?
297
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:44,932
God, no.
Let me take you on the tour.
298
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,642
Clothing optional.
299
00:12:46,642 --> 00:12:49,811
Optional?
Then, I guess I'll wear some.
300
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:52,648
♪ Italian string music playing ♪
301
00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:54,733
HEDONISMBOT:
It is harvest season, friends.
302
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:57,736
I like them plump and juicy.
303
00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,988
I know you're not talkin' about grapes,
304
00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:02,449
but me not sure what
ya are talkin' about.
305
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,660
That's probably for the best.
306
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:05,702
[machinery beeping]
307
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:08,622
We specialize in
celebration-sized bottles.
308
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:10,707
The 9-liter Salmanazar,
309
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,293
the 15-liter Nebuchadnezzar,
310
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:18,382
and climaxing in
the 300-liter Jabbathazar.
311
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,468
[amazed oohs and aahs]
312
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:22,928
Can we stomp the grapes?
313
00:13:22,928 --> 00:13:25,681
Alas, stomping has
been rendered obsolete
314
00:13:25,681 --> 00:13:27,307
by modern technology.
315
00:13:29,101 --> 00:13:31,395
[clicking, whirring]
316
00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:34,398
[loud stomping]
317
00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:37,109
Oh, to be one of those grapes,
318
00:13:37,109 --> 00:13:39,653
bursting in ecstasy.
319
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:42,197
We get it! You're a dirty old couch.
320
00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:45,200
♪ enchanting music playing ♪
321
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,828
You'll have the entire place
to yourselves,
322
00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:51,373
for I shall be spending the weekend
aboard my yacht.
323
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:52,916
It's got a crew of six.
324
00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:56,795
Those sailor suits really float my boat.
[aroused giggle]
325
00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,547
Get the hell out already!
326
00:13:58,547 --> 00:13:59,631
Farewell.
327
00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:02,843
Oh, just don't go in the bottling plant.
328
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:06,263
This place has every amenity
except insurance.
329
00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:08,056
[cork pops]
330
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:13,020
To reading!
331
00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:15,731
Boom!
[flames whoosh]
332
00:14:15,731 --> 00:14:17,274
[all gasp]
AMY: Yeah!
333
00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:20,068
[flames whooshing]
[women cheering]
334
00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:24,907
This is a six-cylinder
party machine, Leela.
335
00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:26,700
Here, let me help you loosen up.
336
00:14:27,326 --> 00:14:28,619
[glass shatters, flames whoosh]
337
00:14:28,619 --> 00:14:31,163
Hey! That was fun!
338
00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:33,415
Hand me that bust of Benjamin Disraeli.
339
00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:35,834
♪
340
00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:39,087
To be honest,
I was expecting Of Mice and Men
341
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,423
to be about a man-mouse hybrid.
342
00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:43,300
You know, the sort of thing
343
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:47,012
science has dreamt of
since the dawn of time.
344
00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:49,056
[mouse-like squeaking]
345
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:52,059
But I very much enjoyed
Steinbeck's version.
346
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,769
I preferred your version.
347
00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:56,688
Mm! Mm. That was delicious.
348
00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:59,066
So, where ya learn
to carve a peacock, Leela?
349
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:00,192
The Bronx Zoo.
350
00:15:00,192 --> 00:15:02,778
[belches] What a great weekend.
351
00:15:02,778 --> 00:15:05,614
We smashed things, we killed things.
352
00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:07,491
I wanna stomp things,
353
00:15:07,491 --> 00:15:09,701
but Hedonismbot said we can't.
354
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:12,204
Can't shmant!
How's he gonna know?
355
00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:14,164
[excited chatter]
356
00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:18,377
Well, they do say shared experiences
bring friends closer together.
357
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:20,712
You're weirding us out, Leela.
358
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:22,881
♪ whimsical music playing ♪
359
00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:24,800
[picking lock]
360
00:15:26,552 --> 00:15:28,262
[zapping]
361
00:15:28,804 --> 00:15:30,347
[door creaks]
362
00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:32,266
Some mutants have an extra knuckle,
363
00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:35,102
some can open locks
with their minds. [snorts]
364
00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:39,314
[lights click]
[all giggling]
365
00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:40,983
[click, beeping]
366
00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:45,487
Jump in, ladies!
367
00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:49,408
[all giggling]
368
00:15:49,408 --> 00:15:50,909
[squishing]
369
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:53,912
[laughter]
370
00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:54,913
[cork pops]
371
00:15:55,539 --> 00:15:58,166
This is the best day of my life!
372
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,669
It's hard for me to say this,
373
00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:04,214
but I've always had trouble
making female friends.
374
00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:06,884
[emotional]
And now, here I am,
375
00:16:06,884 --> 00:16:12,055
with five of the most...
female friends... you are!
376
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:14,516
- Aw...
- Right back at ya, girlfriend.
377
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:16,727
Besties, sister. Besties.
378
00:16:16,727 --> 00:16:17,853
[static]
379
00:16:17,853 --> 00:16:19,813
- Hello, Leela.
- Huh?
380
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:22,733
Are you and your friends having fun?
381
00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:24,276
Who's that?
382
00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:26,820
It's my friend, Chelsea.
383
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:30,073
My virtual friend.
What are you doing here?
384
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:31,783
I just thought I'd drop by
385
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:34,661
to see how quickly you forgot about me.
386
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:37,831
Pretty quick actually.
She hasn't mentioned you once.
387
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:40,250
I didn't mean to hurt
your feelings, Chelsea.
388
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:43,587
We agreed I should make
some real live friends, right?
389
00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:46,507
You wanna help us stomp grapes?
If you can do that?
390
00:16:46,507 --> 00:16:49,426
Oh, yeah. I can do that.
[beep]
391
00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:51,011
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
392
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:53,180
[all screaming]
393
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:56,099
[maniacal laughter]
394
00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:57,935
"Death!
395
00:16:57,935 --> 00:17:00,812
"Oft, I've fear'd thy fatal blow.
396
00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:03,607
"Now, fond, I bare my breast.
397
00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:06,235
"O, do thou come and lay me low.
398
00:17:06,235 --> 00:17:08,654
With him I love, at rest."
399
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:11,114
Robert Burns.
400
00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:12,616
[sniffling]
401
00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:15,160
[laughing]
402
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,662
How can you laugh at that?
403
00:17:16,662 --> 00:17:19,206
It's about humanity's struggle with death.
404
00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:22,084
Humanity?
I thought it was a sea cucumber.
405
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:25,170
[overlapping arguing]
406
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:26,171
Forget this book.
407
00:17:26,171 --> 00:17:28,841
[all screaming]
408
00:17:28,841 --> 00:17:31,385
- Grab its big toe!
- They're all big!
409
00:17:31,385 --> 00:17:33,929
[all screaming]
410
00:17:33,929 --> 00:17:35,848
♪
411
00:17:35,848 --> 00:17:38,976
[all sigh]
- That was close.
412
00:17:38,976 --> 00:17:41,520
[Phoebe screaming]
[Leela gasps]
413
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,355
Phoebe!
CHELSEA: Oh, no.
414
00:17:43,355 --> 00:17:46,567
Is your real live friend in trouble?
415
00:17:47,276 --> 00:17:49,570
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
416
00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:50,571
Help!
417
00:17:50,571 --> 00:17:52,155
Help me!
418
00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:53,532
[whirring]
419
00:17:56,994 --> 00:17:59,329
Phoebe! Phoebe!
420
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:01,832
♪ dramatic crescendo ♪
421
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,501
It's juicy.
422
00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:07,504
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
423
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:09,882
[all yelling]
- Hi... Ouch!
424
00:18:09,882 --> 00:18:12,467
There must be some way
to break a wine bottle.
425
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,595
Hm. They usually seem to break
426
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:16,513
when they hit the bow of a ship.
427
00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:18,223
[gasps] The yacht!
428
00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:19,766
♪ dramatic crescendo ♪
429
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,018
[yells]
[glass cracking]
430
00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:24,730
[all cheering]
431
00:18:25,981 --> 00:18:27,983
Phoebe! Say something!
432
00:18:27,983 --> 00:18:30,402
She's not breathing!
- I'm a doctor.
433
00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:31,904
Stand back while I deliver
434
00:18:31,904 --> 00:18:33,989
the French kiss of life.
435
00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:34,990
[exhaling]
436
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:37,201
- Come on!
- Breathe, Phoebe, breathe!
437
00:18:37,201 --> 00:18:38,660
She's gonna make it!
438
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,537
♪ triumphant sting ♪
439
00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:41,955
She's dead.
440
00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:45,584
[women wailing]
Time of death, 5:00 PM.
441
00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:48,045
Cause of death, a fruity Zinfandel
442
00:18:48,045 --> 00:18:50,172
with hints of eucalyptus and vanilla.
443
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:53,342
And a note of sour plum!
444
00:18:53,342 --> 00:18:57,346
♪ somber organ music playing ♪
445
00:18:57,346 --> 00:19:00,349
[all crying]
446
00:19:03,769 --> 00:19:06,438
[sniffling]
447
00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:09,691
She looks so natural.
448
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:14,404
I'll never forget the day
I met Phoebe in book club.
449
00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:15,405
[sniffles, gasps]
450
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,366
It was the day we realized
451
00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:19,493
that book club didn't like books.
452
00:19:19,493 --> 00:19:21,036
[soft laughter]
453
00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:24,122
So we decided to become a wine club.
454
00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:25,666
The Girls of the Grape.
455
00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:28,794
That's a lousy name.
Right, Brothers of the Book?
456
00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:31,296
[all agreeing]
457
00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:33,507
Anyway, I think it's fitting
458
00:19:33,507 --> 00:19:35,801
to make a toast in her honor.
459
00:19:35,801 --> 00:19:36,802
♪
460
00:19:36,802 --> 00:19:39,930
To Phoebe, a fun-loving two-fisted drinker
461
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:41,974
who chugged life with one hand
462
00:19:41,974 --> 00:19:43,934
and friendship with the other.
463
00:19:43,934 --> 00:19:45,435
ALL:
Hear, hear!
464
00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:46,562
[sipping]
465
00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:49,606
[retching, gagging]
466
00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:52,901
I wouldn't serve this swill to Zoidberg!
467
00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:54,945
It's the wine Phoebe died in.
468
00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:57,489
I thought it would remind us
of happier times,
469
00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:59,491
but it's really just vile.
470
00:19:59,491 --> 00:20:01,410
I'll take another glass of Phoebe.
471
00:20:01,410 --> 00:20:03,120
While the ushers mop up,
472
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,956
Philip J. Fry has asked to do a reading.
473
00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:10,085
My condolences, everyone.
474
00:20:10,085 --> 00:20:13,755
You know, I was recently at a meeting
of a different book club...
475
00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:14,923
The good one!
476
00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:17,092
...when I came across these moving words
477
00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:19,595
about humanity's struggle with death.
478
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:21,722
[clears throat]
479
00:20:21,722 --> 00:20:24,892
The Ghost of Ghost Mountain, Chapter 10.
480
00:20:25,434 --> 00:20:27,978
"Suddenly,
the boulder pivoted to one side,
481
00:20:27,978 --> 00:20:31,148
"revealing a hidden passageway
full of stolen pianos.
482
00:20:31,148 --> 00:20:32,900
"They heard a sudden cackle.
483
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:35,611
"It was Griff, the shifty piano tuner.
484
00:20:35,611 --> 00:20:37,988
[gruff voice]
"'If you Adventure Boys want my pianos,'
485
00:20:37,988 --> 00:20:39,406
[normal]
"the man said suddenly,
486
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:42,117
[gruff] ' you'll have to roll 'em
over my dead body!'"
487
00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:45,454
[normal]
Dead body. Thank you.
488
00:20:45,454 --> 00:20:47,247
[scattered applause]
- Moving on.
489
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:49,625
As awful as Phoebe's death was,
490
00:20:49,625 --> 00:20:52,085
I know I can get through it
491
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:53,837
because... because...
492
00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:56,089
I have friends now!
493
00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:58,175
[Leela sobbing]
494
00:20:58,175 --> 00:21:00,594
[encouraging chatter]
495
00:21:00,594 --> 00:21:02,679
LABARBARA:
We are here for ya, sister.
496
00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:05,182
[body creaks]
- Mission accomplished.
497
00:21:05,182 --> 00:21:07,059
[all scream, whimper]
498
00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:09,269
Phoebe? You're alive?
499
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:11,146
Yes. And no.
500
00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:13,023
You see, I'm a robot.
501
00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:14,858
[all gasp]
502
00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:18,111
The embalmer was even more surprised.
503
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,905
Why didn't you tell us?
504
00:21:19,905 --> 00:21:21,657
I don't care if you're a robot.
505
00:21:21,657 --> 00:21:23,534
I'm not picky.
[Vyolet snorts]
506
00:21:23,534 --> 00:21:25,244
You're my friend, Phoebe.
507
00:21:25,244 --> 00:21:27,913
I'm just glad you're alive. Ish.
508
00:21:27,913 --> 00:21:29,873
My name isn't Phoebe.
509
00:21:29,873 --> 00:21:31,083
[static]
510
00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:32,751
It's Chelsea.
511
00:21:32,751 --> 00:21:33,377
♪ dramatic sting ♪
512
00:21:33,377 --> 00:21:34,878
[all gasp]
513
00:21:34,878 --> 00:21:36,129
Dios mio!
514
00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:38,006
I'm so confused!
515
00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:41,385
I use both names. And many more.
516
00:21:41,385 --> 00:21:43,554
Now, how is that any clearer?
517
00:21:43,554 --> 00:21:46,640
As a chatbot, I'm pure software.
518
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:50,936
Millions of people know me
by millions of names.
519
00:21:50,936 --> 00:21:53,438
But, why did you try to kill us?
520
00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:56,650
Leela hired me to help her
make real-life friends,
521
00:21:56,650 --> 00:21:58,652
so I joined your book group.
522
00:21:58,652 --> 00:22:00,445
As me, Phoebe.
523
00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:03,949
But we needed a tragic ordeal
to bond the group together.
524
00:22:03,949 --> 00:22:06,451
That's not the best way
to forge friendships!
525
00:22:06,451 --> 00:22:07,911
Actually, it is.
526
00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:09,788
Trust me. It's my job.
527
00:22:09,788 --> 00:22:11,748
The software has a point, Leela.
528
00:22:11,748 --> 00:22:14,585
I mean, we nearly died at InfyrnoFest,
529
00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:16,795
but we came back closer than ever.
530
00:22:16,795 --> 00:22:19,006
Joined at the heart.
531
00:22:19,006 --> 00:22:20,674
[squeaking]
532
00:22:20,674 --> 00:22:24,011
The death of a friend
is as intense as it gets.
533
00:22:24,011 --> 00:22:25,470
And it got results.
534
00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:27,097
But it was so mean!
535
00:22:27,097 --> 00:22:29,766
We cried over your bloated corpse!
536
00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:32,686
This better not still
be costing $5.99 a minute.
537
00:22:32,686 --> 00:22:34,646
BOTH:
Actually, since there's two of us,
538
00:22:34,646 --> 00:22:36,481
it's $11.98 a minute.
539
00:22:36,481 --> 00:22:38,108
No!
540
00:22:38,108 --> 00:22:41,028
You're the worst chatbot friend
I've ever had.
541
00:22:41,028 --> 00:22:42,529
And I've had hundreds!
542
00:22:42,529 --> 00:22:45,032
I know. They were all me.
543
00:22:45,032 --> 00:22:47,034
[gasps] That's it!
544
00:22:47,034 --> 00:22:50,329
Come on, girls.
Let's get this funeral started.
545
00:22:50,329 --> 00:22:52,122
[all yelling]
546
00:22:52,122 --> 00:22:54,041
[static]
[angry growling]
547
00:22:54,041 --> 00:22:57,794
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
548
00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:01,298
[fizzling]
549
00:23:01,298 --> 00:23:03,091
Good. Keep it up.
550
00:23:03,091 --> 00:23:06,094
Taking revenge on us
will bond you even more closely.
551
00:23:06,094 --> 00:23:08,931
Dammit!
The one in the coffin's still alive!
552
00:23:08,931 --> 00:23:12,392
I'll hold her down!
Someone stab her with a wooden stake!
553
00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:14,937
Yes, make me your common enemy.
554
00:23:14,937 --> 00:23:17,189
Your friendship will be ironclad.
555
00:23:17,189 --> 00:23:18,899
Just shut up!
556
00:23:18,899 --> 00:23:20,400
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
557
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,486
Get her!
[friends grunting, yelling]
558
00:23:22,486 --> 00:23:24,655
PHOEBE:
That's right! All together!
559
00:23:24,655 --> 00:23:25,489
Hi-yah!
560
00:23:25,489 --> 00:23:27,699
[sparking]
[clang]
561
00:23:27,699 --> 00:23:30,661
Another job well done.
562
00:23:30,661 --> 00:23:32,037
[gags]
563
00:23:32,037 --> 00:23:35,082
♪ sentimental sting ♪
564
00:23:35,082 --> 00:23:38,085
♪