1
00:00:04,307 --> 00:00:07,136
[ Man ] One, two! One, two, three!

2
00:00:39,603 --> 00:00:42,999
♪♪ [ Space Country Riff ]

3
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:46,567
- Yes?
- Hi, Dad. It's me
and my coworkers.

4
00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:50,267
Open up, Leo.
It's Amy and her weirdos.

5
00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:53,314
Howdy, friends.
Welcome to Mars.

6
00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:57,753
Thanks so much
for inviting us, Mr. Wong.

7
00:00:57,883 --> 00:00:59,929
I've never been to
a Mars Day barbecue.

8
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,278
Oh, Mars Day
much better than Earth Day.

9
00:01:02,409 --> 00:01:05,239
Dump trash wherever you want.
Big, empty planet.

10
00:01:05,368 --> 00:01:08,155
Okay, then.
Make yourselves at home.

11
00:01:08,284 --> 00:01:10,200
Don't mind if I already did.
By the way,

12
00:01:10,331 --> 00:01:13,289
do you have any more of this
Dom Perignon bubble bath?

13
00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:15,813
There was only enough
to fill the tub halfway.

14
00:01:15,944 --> 00:01:19,079
[ Both Grumble ]

15
00:01:21,210 --> 00:01:23,082
This is quite a large
ranch you have.

16
00:01:23,212 --> 00:01:25,171
17.9 billion acres.

17
00:01:25,301 --> 00:01:27,652
We own entire
Western Hemisphere.

18
00:01:27,783 --> 00:01:31,003
That the best hemisphere.It's the same on Earth.

19
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:33,441
[ Clattering ]

20
00:01:33,570 --> 00:01:37,358
Here is most number one
product of all--
the mighty buggalo.

21
00:01:37,487 --> 00:01:41,579
They used for everything--
meat, milk, and the shells
make good rowboat.

22
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:44,015
I broke your television.

23
00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:47,106
Mon, it must take forever
to brand all those cattle.

24
00:01:47,236 --> 00:01:49,109
Not really.
We own so much stuff,

25
00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:51,849
it easier just to brand
everything that not ours.

26
00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:55,418
[ Hissing ]Please don't do that.

27
00:01:57,334 --> 00:02:01,295
Hey! Betsy![ Clattering, Slurping ]

28
00:02:01,424 --> 00:02:04,210
This is my
sweet little Betsy.

29
00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:06,603
I raised her from a larvae
that ate one of my sweaters.

30
00:02:06,734 --> 00:02:10,304
Yes, everybody love Betsy.
We going to eat her
at Amy's wedding--

31
00:02:10,433 --> 00:02:12,306
if she ever
get married.

32
00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:15,264
Dad! Gleesh!
Please don't say
things like that...

33
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:17,266
when you meet
my boyfriend tonight.

34
00:02:17,397 --> 00:02:21,228
Ah, that right. We finally
get to spend some time
with this Mr. Kif.

35
00:02:21,358 --> 00:02:24,579
I just hope he's
a nice man who can make us
lot of grandchildren.

36
00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:28,060
This not some parallel
universe where you
getting any younger.

37
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:42,162
Now, remember, Kif,
the quickest way to a girl's bed
is through her parents.

38
00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:45,252
Have sex with them
and you're in.Actually, sir,

39
00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:48,254
I'm-- I'm a little nervous
about meeting her family.

40
00:02:48,384 --> 00:02:51,170
That's natural. After all,
you're meek and uninteresting.

41
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:54,129
Until now, you've gotten by
on my leftover charisma,

42
00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:56,828
scrounging off it
like a tiny charisma parasite.

43
00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:59,656
I just hope
they like me.And why wouldn't they?

44
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:02,965
Yes, yes, I know--
tiny, meek, uninteresting.

45
00:03:03,094 --> 00:03:05,140
Spare me your tedious
life story, Kif.

46
00:03:05,271 --> 00:03:07,187
And above all, have fun.

47
00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:10,189
[ Chattering ]

48
00:03:10,319 --> 00:03:12,974
Chicka-dan-dan!
Get on down!

49
00:03:13,104 --> 00:03:14,411
♪♪ [ Country ]

50
00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:18,849
Oh, yeah. Drop another
barnyard bomb on us,
Vanilla Corn.

51
00:03:18,980 --> 00:03:22,201
Yo, fool,
it's Mixmaster Festus.

52
00:03:33,473 --> 00:03:36,302
[ All Chattering ]

53
00:03:36,432 --> 00:03:38,260
So what's Mars Day
about, anyway?

54
00:03:38,391 --> 00:03:40,959
It commemorate the day
centuries ago...

55
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:45,442
when our ancestor,
Sir Reginald Wong, bought
Mars from stupid natives.

56
00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:47,704
How can you call
the native Martians stupid?

57
00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:51,099
They sell whole planet
for one bead.
Sound stupid to me.

58
00:03:52,579 --> 00:03:55,582
That is stupid!I can't believe
you're laughing...

59
00:03:55,712 --> 00:03:58,977
at the tragic exploitation
of a proud,
bead-loving people.

60
00:03:59,108 --> 00:04:01,197
Lighten up, Leela.
It's funny.

61
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:03,677
Of course it is.
But you don't
have to laugh.

62
00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:09,466
Amy, no! Not on
your parents' planet!

63
00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:12,338
Howdy, Amy. Glad to see
you've come back
to the country.

64
00:04:12,468 --> 00:04:15,211
It's where
the flavor is.

65
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,387
R.J., this is
my boyfriend, Kif.

66
00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:21,173
This wimp?
You've gone
a long way, baby.

67
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:23,785
- Cigarette, pardner?
- Oh, I don't--

68
00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:26,266
[ Coughing ]

69
00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:28,832
I haven't even
lit it yet.Oh.

70
00:04:28,963 --> 00:04:30,834
Is it lit now?Yep.

71
00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:35,362
- [ Coughing ]
- You're pathetic.

72
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:40,409
Host man, host woman,
I'm having a wonderful time.

73
00:04:40,540 --> 00:04:43,500
You here five hours
and already you tear up couch,

74
00:04:43,630 --> 00:04:46,981
draw mustache on
priceless painting
and fill pool with brine shrimp.

75
00:04:47,112 --> 00:04:49,245
Not bad
for a city boy, huh?

76
00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:53,553
By the way,
I took the liberty
of fertilizing your caviar.

77
00:05:04,564 --> 00:05:08,264
Um-- Um--
[ Stammering ]

78
00:05:08,394 --> 00:05:11,440
Just relax. I'm sure
my parents will love you.

79
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:14,052
You don't understand.
When I get nervous,

80
00:05:14,182 --> 00:05:16,750
I can't control
my camouflage reflex.

81
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:20,841
Oh, dear. Oh, goodness.
Oh, odds and bodkins.

82
00:05:20,971 --> 00:05:23,060
I'll have a thorax
and some feelers.

83
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:26,237
You want some salad
with that?Yuck!

84
00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:28,675
Mom, Dad,
you remember Kif.

85
00:05:28,805 --> 00:05:31,331
This your boyfriend?
I have instant dislike
of him.

86
00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:33,810
He too scrawny
to father grandchildren.

87
00:05:33,942 --> 00:05:37,119
He's not scrawny.
He's just small-boned.

88
00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:39,512
Actually,
I don't have bones.

89
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:42,516
I'm supported by a system
of fluid-filled bladders that--

90
00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:44,387
Yes, yes.
You a big, squishy wuss.

91
00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:46,649
Amy should be dating
real man-- like him.

92
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:51,350
I can be manly too.
I think I'll, uh,

93
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:54,004
light up a smoke.

94
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:56,355
Wrong way.

95
00:05:56,485 --> 00:06:00,098
Smooth.
[ Gasping ]

96
00:06:01,447 --> 00:06:03,319
Look on the bright side.

97
00:06:03,449 --> 00:06:05,495
My parents left
after you passed out,

98
00:06:05,625 --> 00:06:07,714
so they didn't even
see you barf.

99
00:06:07,845 --> 00:06:11,805
Oh, now they'll never think
I'm manly enough
to date their daughter.

100
00:06:11,935 --> 00:06:14,069
[ Sobbing ]

101
00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:18,464
It's okay, Kif.
I'll go get you
a tissue from your tote.

102
00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:22,468
Hey, there, Amy.
Like you to meet
my buddy, Joe.

103
00:06:22,598 --> 00:06:27,560
Sorry I'm late.
My pool game ran long
at the jazz club.

104
00:06:27,690 --> 00:06:29,867
[ Chuckling ]
Kids love him.

105
00:06:29,997 --> 00:06:31,173
Hmm!

106
00:06:31,302 --> 00:06:34,524
[ Droning ]

107
00:06:34,654 --> 00:06:36,439
What's that weird sound?

108
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:41,269
Dust storm!
Oh, dust storm!

109
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,968
Everybody into house!
Hurry, before we die!

110
00:06:44,098 --> 00:06:45,970
And wipe your damn feet!

111
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:48,408
[ Clattering ]

112
00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:52,106
Whew! Everyone okay?
No one considering lawsuit?

113
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:55,415
Mmm. I might have
mental anguish.

114
00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:58,286
I have you know
I'm friends with
every judge on planet.

115
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,072
- I'm okay, then.
- Storm dying down.

116
00:07:01,202 --> 00:07:03,161
Leo, check if
buggalo herd is okay.

117
00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:11,081
[ All Gasping ]Oh!

118
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:14,781
What happened to the buggalo?They been rustled
under cover of storm.

119
00:07:14,911 --> 00:07:19,526
We ruined!No-o-o!

120
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:22,615
Don't worry, Daddy.
It'll be okay.

121
00:07:22,745 --> 00:07:24,661
Oh, really?
Who gonna save us?

122
00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:27,663
One eye? Lobster mooch?
Drunken garbage can?

123
00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:31,886
This sounds like
a job for--Lt. Kif Kroker.

124
00:07:32,016 --> 00:07:34,454
All right, then.

125
00:07:40,807 --> 00:07:45,725
Hi-ya! Those buggalo
were what made Wong family
so rich and powerful.

126
00:07:45,855 --> 00:07:50,600
Oh, Inez, with them stolen,
we ruined!Okay, I want a divorce.

127
00:07:50,730 --> 00:07:53,689
Mom, Dad,
don't ask me to choose!

128
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:56,387
They're not your parents,
I'm not your sister...

129
00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:58,389
and that's not
your golf cart.

130
00:07:58,521 --> 00:08:03,004
Aw![ Beeping ]

131
00:08:03,134 --> 00:08:07,182
Everybody just calm down.
Kif promised
he'd catch the rustlers.

132
00:08:14,406 --> 00:08:17,452
Mrs. Wong, do you have
a neckerchief I could borrow?

133
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:22,762
My plan is to take all the remaining buggalo...

134
00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:25,548
and lead them on
a rough, tough cattle drive.

135
00:08:25,678 --> 00:08:29,377
Then, when the rustlers attack,
I'll make a citizen's arrest.

136
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,599
It sounds dangerous.
Someone could get killed.

137
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:35,688
Fry, Leela, Bender,
I want you
to go with him.

138
00:08:35,818 --> 00:08:37,691
[ All Grumbling ]

139
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:39,519
Don't worry,
Mr. and Mrs. Wong.

140
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:42,739
I'll get your cattle back
or die trying.

141
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:46,613
- Hey, we can't lose.
- No, Kif. It's too risky.

142
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:50,268
- You don't have to do this
to prove your manliness.
- Oh, yes, he does.

143
00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:53,663
Here are your mounts.

144
00:08:55,534 --> 00:09:00,235
- She's got a fine coat.
- Now, we need buggalo
to lure the rustlers.

145
00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:02,759
How many are left?You're looking at her.

146
00:09:02,889 --> 00:09:06,546
Betsy's the only one left.
She was curled up in my hamper
when the storm hit.

147
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:08,548
Ooh! Oh!

148
00:09:08,677 --> 00:09:10,985
Aw. She likes you!

149
00:09:11,115 --> 00:09:13,203
Ooh! Ooh!
Saddle up, men.

150
00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:17,251
Oh! We got some no-good
rustlers to-- ooh!-- catch.

151
00:09:25,259 --> 00:09:28,263
♪ We gotta right to pick
a little fight with rustlers ♪

152
00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:31,701
♪ Somebody wants to
pick a fight with us
he better bite my ass ♪

153
00:09:31,831 --> 00:09:33,702
Yee-haw!

154
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:36,357
Wow, look at that.
Olympus Mons,

155
00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:38,838
the tallest volcano
in the solar system.

156
00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:41,101
Where?Right in front of you.

157
00:09:41,231 --> 00:09:43,059
[ Fry ]
Oh! Oh!

158
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:46,673
We'll camp near the top.
The rustlers will be sure
to spot us there.

159
00:09:46,802 --> 00:09:48,936
Where?

160
00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:51,591
And even though the computer...

161
00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:53,679
was off and unplugged,

162
00:09:53,809 --> 00:09:56,725
an image
stayed on the screen.

163
00:09:56,856 --> 00:10:01,034
It was...
the Windows logo!

164
00:10:01,164 --> 00:10:04,691
- Pss! That's not scary.
- It is if you're
a laser printer.

165
00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:07,736
Okay. My turn
to tell a ghost story.

166
00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:10,653
- Once there was
this woman driving--
- Hook on the hand!

167
00:10:10,783 --> 00:10:14,657
- Okay, I've got one.
This family--
- Man in the attic!

168
00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:17,965
Fine, Mr. Know-it-all-
about-something-finally.

169
00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:20,096
You tell a story.With pleasure.

170
00:10:20,227 --> 00:10:23,797
Once, not far from here,

171
00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:26,712
four people set out
on a cattle drive.

172
00:10:26,842 --> 00:10:30,542
Robot gets bored and kills
Fry with a hammer!
Sorry, go on.

173
00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:34,807
And then, while they sat
helplessly around
the campfire,

174
00:10:34,937 --> 00:10:38,681
a demented, knife-wielding,
escaped-lunatic Libertarian
zombie mutant snuck up and--

175
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:42,946
[ Amy ] Surprise![ Screams ]
[ Gasping ]

176
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:47,602
- Amy, what are you doing here?
- I forgot to give you something
before you left.

177
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:49,649
Oh. What?

178
00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:54,130
Is that your
camouflage reflex...

179
00:10:54,261 --> 00:10:56,307
or are you just
happy to see me?

180
00:10:57,525 --> 00:11:00,876
I love it out here, Amy.
I feel so manly.

181
00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:03,750
I have a blister.
I-I spit.

182
00:11:03,879 --> 00:11:06,753
A-And of course,
I tell no one
my feelings.

183
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:09,364
But you still
have them, right?Oh, yes,

184
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:12,889
but I keep them inside
until I can write them
in my diary.

185
00:11:13,019 --> 00:11:15,674
Ah. It's
a wonderful night.

186
00:11:15,804 --> 00:11:18,677
It sure is. I could just
lie here beside you...

187
00:11:18,807 --> 00:11:21,158
staring at the sky
all night.

188
00:11:21,288 --> 00:11:23,552
I can't.Ooh!

189
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,817
[ Rumbling ]

190
00:11:27,947 --> 00:11:29,818
[ Gasps ]
What's that?

191
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:32,342
Maybe we just made love.

192
00:11:35,389 --> 00:11:38,000
The buggalo!
They're in the crater!

193
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:40,787
The rustlers must
have seen me coming
and run off scared.

194
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:44,921
Oh, Kif,
you're so brave.Shh! They'll hear us!

195
00:11:48,924 --> 00:11:51,144
Okay, the dynamite's
in place.

196
00:11:51,274 --> 00:11:53,974
Are you sure there's
no other way to get
the buggalo out?

197
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:57,412
Not unless your parents
have thousands of helicopters
at their disposal.

198
00:11:57,542 --> 00:11:59,674
- Well, actually--
- Too late.
This is more fun.

199
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,812
Kif, you did it!

200
00:12:06,942 --> 00:12:09,206
But how did you know
the dynamite would work?

201
00:12:09,336 --> 00:12:12,861
I once took a seminar
in ejecting chickens
from a sand dune.

202
00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:14,864
The principle's
essentially the same.

203
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:16,865
[ Droning ]

204
00:12:16,996 --> 00:12:21,000
Hey, it's that
"barbecue's over"
sound again.

205
00:12:22,828 --> 00:12:25,831
Sandstorm!

206
00:12:25,961 --> 00:12:27,833
[ All Shouting ]

207
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,971
[ All Grunting ]

208
00:12:35,101 --> 00:12:37,844
We're in the eye
of the storm!Where?

209
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:39,846
[ Buzzing ]What's that?

210
00:12:43,413 --> 00:12:44,720
Oh, my God!Who are they?

211
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:47,418
Feh.We are
the native Martians.

212
00:12:47,548 --> 00:12:49,985
[ All Gasping ]

213
00:12:50,116 --> 00:12:52,075
Also, I didn't know
buggalo could fly.

214
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:55,296
Only those who revere
Mother Mars
can fly buggalo.

215
00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:57,994
And only they
shall have buggalo.
And they're us.

216
00:12:58,125 --> 00:13:00,866
But Your, um,
Martian-ness.

217
00:13:00,996 --> 00:13:05,349
These buggalo aren't yours.
They belong to
the Wong family.

218
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:09,048
You mean family that took
all Martian land and gave us
one lousy bead?

219
00:13:09,178 --> 00:13:12,879
Uh-huh. Amy Wong.
And you are?Mad at Wong family.

220
00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:15,924
We plan to ruin them
by stealing buggalo.

221
00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:18,710
But now we take
girl instead.

222
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:22,062
Wait! I'm too rich
to be kidnapped!

223
00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:26,066
Amy! No-o-o!

224
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:28,503
[ Sobbing ]

225
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:31,288
Don't worry, Kif.
I'm sure some other...

226
00:13:31,418 --> 00:13:34,290
beautiful, rich girl
will fall in love
with you.

227
00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:36,727
[ Laughing ]

228
00:13:52,178 --> 00:13:55,835
- Hooray!
You bring back cattle!
- Yes, but...

229
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:57,923
I'm afraid I've got
some bad news as well.

230
00:13:58,053 --> 00:14:01,710
Let Amy tell us.
That way,
it soften the blow.

231
00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:07,193
- Why Amy being so quiet?
- Um-- Well, um--

232
00:14:07,323 --> 00:14:09,196
That is, um-- [ Droning ]

233
00:14:15,331 --> 00:14:18,552
Oh, no! Martians kidnap Amy!

234
00:14:18,682 --> 00:14:20,990
I know it them,
'cause they no use
good grammar.

235
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:23,731
I'll get your daughter
back, sir. I swear.

236
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,735
Forget it, Squishy.
You the one
lose her in first place.

237
00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:28,649
You done enough.Yeah!

238
00:14:28,779 --> 00:14:31,957
This time we get
most decorated lawman
in the whole universe.

239
00:14:32,087 --> 00:14:35,351
You mean-- Oh, no, please.
I beg you. Oh, for the love of--

240
00:14:35,482 --> 00:14:37,876
I am the man
with no name.

241
00:14:38,006 --> 00:14:40,879
Zapp Branigan,
at your service.[ Sighs ]

242
00:14:41,009 --> 00:14:44,884
Please, Mr. Branigan,
we need you go get
our daughter back.

243
00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:47,668
Very well.
I'll clean up Kif's mess.

244
00:14:47,798 --> 00:14:49,671
I shall go bargain
with the Martians
personally.

245
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:53,109
- [ Both Gasping ]
- Your gasps intrigue me.
Explain.

246
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:56,024
Martians have no land.
They've been
gently encouraged...

247
00:14:56,155 --> 00:14:58,767
to live on reservation
deep underground.

248
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,073
No one ever dare
go there.

249
00:15:01,203 --> 00:15:03,250
This mission is
incredibly dangerous.

250
00:15:03,379 --> 00:15:05,339
Someone's sure
to be killed.

251
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:07,341
Fry, Leela, Bender--

252
00:15:07,471 --> 00:15:09,559
Damn you, old man!

253
00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:18,481
Aw, look.
Betsy followed you, Kif.

254
00:15:20,222 --> 00:15:23,096
I didn't realize
you were bringing your
girlfriend, Lieutenant.

255
00:15:23,225 --> 00:15:27,100
[ Snickering ]Oh. She won't
leave me alone.

256
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:31,017
Did I say "girlfriend"?
She sounds more
like a wife.

257
00:15:31,147 --> 00:15:33,889
[ Wind Gusting ]

258
00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:43,115
[ Branigan ]
Behold, the Great
Stone Face of Mars.

259
00:15:43,245 --> 00:15:46,640
- Hmm.
- The only known entrance
to the Martian reservation.

260
00:15:46,770 --> 00:15:48,686
What about the Great
Stone Ass of Mars?

261
00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:51,688
Well, yeah, but it's
way on the other
side of the planet.

262
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:59,087
Noseward, ho!

263
00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:05,921
[ All Grumbling ]

264
00:16:08,053 --> 00:16:10,099
[ Gasping ]

265
00:16:15,712 --> 00:16:20,283
Feh!I am Singing Wind,
Chief of the Martian tribe.

266
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:23,243
Take me to your leader.

267
00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:26,028
Moving along.
Why you trespass
on our land?

268
00:16:26,158 --> 00:16:29,075
We come to negotiate
the release of Amy Wong.

269
00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:33,340
And, just to clarify,
land is the stuff
that has sky over it.

270
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:40,129
They have such respect
for the planet.

271
00:16:40,259 --> 00:16:42,870
[ Sniffles ]
Cynthia used to
drink Slurm.

272
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,875
We will give back girl
when we get back
planet surface.

273
00:16:48,006 --> 00:16:50,096
How do we even
know she's alive?I'm fine.

274
00:16:50,225 --> 00:16:52,227
Shh! You're weakening
our bargaining position.

275
00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:54,664
How about instead,
you give us the girl...

276
00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:57,538
and we carve a bunch
of our presidents
into your sacred mountain.

277
00:16:57,668 --> 00:17:01,455
You waste words.
We want return of land
that was taken from us.

278
00:17:01,585 --> 00:17:04,240
Uh, actually,
you traded it for a bead.

279
00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:07,895
Tribe suffer
heap big buyer's remorse.
We want land back.

280
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,028
Chief, my people
are people of law,

281
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:13,118
and that law is...
no "backsies."

282
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:15,772
The time for
stupid statements is over.

283
00:17:15,903 --> 00:17:17,731
♪♪ [ Single Note ] [ Droning ]

284
00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:20,038
[ All Droning ]

285
00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:22,824
Ooh, boy.

286
00:17:30,222 --> 00:17:34,269
Ow! Oh! Oh! Ow!
My eye!

287
00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:47,326
Ma, Pa, our precious ranch!

288
00:17:47,457 --> 00:17:50,286
Oof! Ay! Ah!

289
00:17:50,416 --> 00:17:52,288
[ Droning Continues ]

290
00:17:58,163 --> 00:18:00,209
[ Screaming ]

291
00:18:00,339 --> 00:18:03,559
Amy, no!
It's too windy!

292
00:18:06,432 --> 00:18:09,348
[ Screaming Continues ]

293
00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:13,788
Stay calm, dearest.
I'll save you!

294
00:18:13,917 --> 00:18:16,660
Kif!
[ Gasps ]
You're flying Betsy!

295
00:18:16,790 --> 00:18:20,534
Need a lift?
Oh! Oh! Ooh!

296
00:18:20,663 --> 00:18:22,839
Great Mother Mars.

297
00:18:22,971 --> 00:18:25,625
He has the gift.

298
00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:28,193
[ Droning Ceases ]

299
00:18:29,846 --> 00:18:31,761
[ All Cheering ]

300
00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:36,027
Kroker, that was one
Branigan-esque
feat of heroism.

301
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:38,203
We have misjudged you,
green one.

302
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,292
You fly the buggalo
like us.

303
00:18:40,423 --> 00:18:42,685
You have true reverence
for Mother Mars.

304
00:18:42,817 --> 00:18:44,818
Let there be peace
between us.

305
00:18:44,949 --> 00:18:49,258
- Yes. Let us
smoke-um peace pipe.
- Smoke-um?

306
00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:56,395
Here. Take.Oh, no, thanks.
I'm on the peace patch.

307
00:18:56,526 --> 00:19:00,616
You must smoke peace pipe
and you must do it peacefully.
Or we'll kill you!

308
00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:04,098
Oh, well, it's just, really,
that I don't feel that--

309
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:06,840
Don't be such
a chicken, Kif.
Teenagers all smoke,

310
00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:09,278
and they seem pretty
on-the-ball.

311
00:19:14,108 --> 00:19:16,198
Yeah!
Yes, sir.Way to suck it!

312
00:19:16,328 --> 00:19:19,201
Hey. I-I'm smoking!

313
00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:21,421
I'm the greatest!

314
00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:25,903
[ All Gasping ]

315
00:19:26,034 --> 00:19:28,166
Oh, monkey trumpets.

316
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:33,737
You have coughed
at our offer of peace,
so you must die.

317
00:19:33,867 --> 00:19:36,609
The very bead used
to crush our dreams...

318
00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:38,654
shall be used
to crush your bones!

319
00:19:38,786 --> 00:19:40,743
Actually,
I don't have bones.

320
00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:44,182
I'm supported by a system
of fluid-filled bladders that--

321
00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:46,184
[ Gasps ]

322
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:49,317
[ Shuddering ]

323
00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:52,320
[ Fry ] Wait. That's the bead you traded your land for?

324
00:19:52,451 --> 00:19:55,628
It's a gigantic diamond!
That thing must be
worth a fortune!

325
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:58,153
Really?

326
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,415
Ahh! Whew!

327
00:20:03,462 --> 00:20:05,682
[ Stammering ]

328
00:20:05,813 --> 00:20:10,512
Oh, Chief, you've made me
the happiest girl
in the world! Ow!

329
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:14,299
You know, if you still
want your land, we could
just trade back for it.

330
00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:17,303
Hmm. We always thought
bead was worthless.

331
00:20:17,432 --> 00:20:21,349
We assumed our ancestors
were cheated because they
not have concept of ownership.

332
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:25,788
- So we can have the diamond?
- No. We do have
concept of ownership.

333
00:20:27,529 --> 00:20:30,924
You are free to go.
Sorry about all the rustling
and kidnapping.

334
00:20:31,055 --> 00:20:34,232
- But what about
your sacred land?
- Land, schmand.

335
00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:36,799
We don't want to live
on this planet.
It's a dump.

336
00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:39,367
We'll buy new planet
and act like
it's sacred.

337
00:20:39,499 --> 00:20:43,328
With cash like this,
who's going to argue?
Nobody, that's who.

338
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,990
Then Kif flew Betsy,
rescued me from
the tornado,

339
00:20:54,122 --> 00:20:55,992
and made peace
with the Martians.

340
00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:58,560
Please. He too much
of a wimp.Yeah.

341
00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:01,781
I'm sure it was all
Mr. Zapp Branigan here.

342
00:21:01,912 --> 00:21:04,436
Please. You give me
too little credit.

343
00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:06,568
- [ Sighs ]
- Captain Branigan,

344
00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:09,571
you are always welcome here
at Rancho Zoidberg.

345
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:11,791
[ Yells, Groans ]

346
00:21:11,922 --> 00:21:15,361
Eee! Money doesn't make
good people. No, sirree.

347
00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:23,630
Thanks for saving
my life, Kif.
You're my hero.

348
00:21:23,759 --> 00:21:25,587
Oh. You're kind.

349
00:21:25,719 --> 00:21:29,330
But your parents
still don't like me.Well, "gloviously."

350
00:21:29,461 --> 00:21:32,160
But if they liked you,
then I wouldn't.

351
00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:34,249
Don't you know
anything about girls?

352
00:21:35,423 --> 00:21:38,209
[ Rumbling ]

353
00:21:38,339 --> 00:21:40,559
[ Clattering ]

354
00:21:46,042 --> 00:21:48,001
"Dear Diary,

355
00:21:48,132 --> 00:21:50,961
I just made love
for the second time."