1 00:00:04,371 --> 00:00:06,373 [ Man ] One, two! One, two, three! 2 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:36,804 In what has become a winter tradition, members of the Zarlon Seven Polar Bear Club... 3 00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:40,039 today took the plunge into a river of liquid ammonia. 4 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,542 [ Cheering ] 5 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,813 There were no survivors. 6 00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:49,048 [ Laughs ] Takes all kinds. 7 00:00:49,149 --> 00:00:51,719 And now with his annual Xmas message, 8 00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:54,322 here's the head of the Xmas Safety Council, 9 00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:56,323 the head of Walter Cronkite. 10 00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:59,159 Season's warnings, Linda and Morbo. 11 00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:02,329 This guy's too trustworthy. What's his angle? 12 00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:06,167 In all the tinsel and terror of the holiday season, 13 00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:09,602 we too often underestimate that murderous brute... 14 00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:11,971 better known as Santa Claus. 15 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,308 With images of last year's Gingerbread Massacre... 16 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,844 freshly baked into our memories, 17 00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:21,349 I remind you to bolt your doors, 18 00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:25,186 say good-bye to your pets and lock your children in the closet. 19 00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:29,289 This is Walter Cronkite saying "I told you so." 20 00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,859 [ Hammering ] 21 00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:35,829 Sacred boar of Western and Eastern Samoa, 22 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,865 we got to secure for Santa's arrival. 23 00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:41,634 [ Signal Pulsing ] Just as well. I'm getting tired of this wood show. 24 00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:43,971 [ All Grunting ] 25 00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:46,439 Cover that fireplace, confound you! 26 00:01:46,539 --> 00:01:50,177 I've only a few years to live. I don't want to spend them dead. 27 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,846 We're pushing as hard as we can. 28 00:01:52,945 --> 00:01:54,847 Oh, pushing! 29 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,849 Aah! Oh! 30 00:01:56,950 --> 00:02:00,188 Oh, we're doomed! Every year we're doomed. 31 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:04,391 Thanks be I had these bulletproof shutters installed. [ Beeping ] 32 00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:10,663 Whoa! Aah! 33 00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:13,734 ** [ "Deck The Halls" ] 34 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:18,338 Bring it on, Santa! That bloodthirsty cadaver junkie can't touch us... 35 00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:21,341 as long as we're not stupid enough to leave this building. 36 00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:23,644 All right! Uh-huh! 37 00:02:23,743 --> 00:02:27,814 In a related matter, you'll be delivering this sack of children's letters... 38 00:02:27,914 --> 00:02:31,651 directly to Santa at his death fortress on Neptune. 39 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,691 [ Engine Laboring ] 40 00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:47,033 These letters are real butt nutters. Listen to this one. 41 00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:51,372 -"Dear Santa--" -[ Girl's Voice ] Please, please don't bring me any gifts. 42 00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:54,508 The bicycle you fired at me last year from your bicycle gun... 43 00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,710 really tore up my insides. 44 00:02:56,810 --> 00:03:00,514 Awful. Let's read some more. "Dear Santa--" 45 00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,949 [ Boy's Voice ] Please bring me a coffin for Grandpa. 46 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:05,453 You choked him with a chestnut last year, 47 00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:09,689 and he's beginning to smell a lot like Xmas, if you know what I mean. 48 00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:11,692 [ Chair Creaking ] 49 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,693 It's not fair! 50 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:16,629 In my day, Xmas was supposed to bring people together, not blow them apart. 51 00:03:16,729 --> 00:03:19,233 Sure, but who's gonna do anything about it? 52 00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:23,135 Certainly not us. No, sir. Certainly yes us. Uh-huh, sir. 53 00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:26,407 We've gotta bring back the kind of Xmas I remember. 54 00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:31,044 Fry's right. It's time to sit on Santa's lap, and hard. 55 00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:40,086 [ Machine Gun Fire ] [ Dog Barking ] 56 00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:49,062 Oh, look. A cute little welcoming party. 57 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:53,501 [ Coughing ] Hey, wanna buy a tiny little kidney? 58 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,502 I'll let you punch me for a buck. 59 00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:59,072 Look. We've got mail for Santa. Are you his elves? 60 00:03:59,171 --> 00:04:01,140 We're not elves. We're Neptunians. 61 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,311 We're just shrimpy because he doesn't feed us. 62 00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:06,447 You hit me. You owe me a dollar. 63 00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:08,981 [ Dogs Growling ] Aah! Aah! 64 00:04:09,081 --> 00:04:11,818 [ Grunting, Muttering ] 65 00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:15,455 Help. You got any food? 66 00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:18,125 Old tea bags, chewed gum, apple cores? 67 00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:20,127 Come on! We're starving here! 68 00:04:20,226 --> 00:04:24,163 -But you live in a gingerbread house. -It's food or shelter, not both. 69 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:28,035 You lazy runts. Don't you get paid for making the toys? 70 00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:30,870 - Who said "toys"? - Toys? Someone said "toys"? 71 00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:32,872 False alarm, folks. 72 00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:36,310 There's no reason to make toys, since Santa judges everyone to be naughty. 73 00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:42,882 That's it. I'm gonna deliver a gift of my boot up Santa's chimney. Where is he? 74 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:45,619 There, in his ice fortress. 75 00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:50,524 [ Thunder Rumbling ] 76 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:53,225 We'll need help getting in. Any volunteers? 77 00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:00,300 I'll help you. Aw, phooey. 78 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:13,480 ** [ Barking "Jingle Bells" ] 79 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,985 [ Squawks ] 80 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,154 An omen? Dinner. 81 00:05:22,254 --> 00:05:25,858 [ Thunderclap ] 82 00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:28,362 [ Sinister Laughter ] 83 00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:30,363 Let's see who's been naughty... 84 00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:33,033 and who's been naughty. 85 00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:35,034 Oh! Oh! Oh! 86 00:05:35,134 --> 00:05:38,738 Mobsters beating up a shopkeeper for protection money. 87 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,941 Very naughty. 88 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:45,045 [ Groaning ] Shopkeepers not paying their protection money. 89 00:05:45,144 --> 00:05:47,514 Exactly as naughty! 90 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,284 I saw that! 91 00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:54,353 Huh? 92 00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:58,024 - We brought you mail. - Don't you ever knock? 93 00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:01,228 Who knows what naughty things I could be watching? 94 00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:04,764 - I get New Orleans on this thing, you know. - Don't kill us! 95 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:09,702 Santa's a robot. So we should be able to destroy him... 96 00:06:09,802 --> 00:06:11,738 with a logical paradox. 97 00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:13,973 Bender, you better cover your ears. 98 00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:18,144 Holy night! Intruders! 99 00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:22,882 Hold it, Santa. [ Humming ] 100 00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:26,819 Consider this: You are programmed to destroy the naughty. 101 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,889 But many of those you destroy are, in fact, nice. 102 00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,560 I submit to you that you are naughty... 103 00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:35,394 and that, logically, you must destroy yourself. 104 00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:38,932 [ Gibbering ] 105 00:06:40,332 --> 00:06:42,002 Yea! [ Laughing ] Yea! 106 00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:45,838 Nice try, but my head was built... 107 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:49,341 with paradox-absorbing crumple zones. 108 00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:51,343 Aah! Aah! 109 00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,980 [ Humming, Yelling ] 110 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,249 [ All Screaming ] 111 00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:05,526 [ Beeping ] 112 00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:08,995 - [ Bender Yelling ] - [ Screaming ] 113 00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:14,334 Wait. This is what we're running from. 114 00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:21,007 Faster! Faster! 115 00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,511 Whoa! Oh! Aah! 116 00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:28,314 Aah! Aah! 117 00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:30,550 [ Screaming ] 118 00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:34,321 [ All Screaming ] 119 00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:37,725 [ Screaming Continues ] 120 00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:41,161 Oof! [ Blubbering ] 121 00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:43,497 [ Engine Starting ] 122 00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:46,533 [ Rockets Firing ] Why aren't we moving? 123 00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:51,004 I don't know. Usually when I do stuff like this, the ship moves. 124 00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:56,744 Ho, ho-- Huh? 125 00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:04,016 [ Grumbling ] 126 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,353 [ Grunting ] 127 00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:09,055 He's trapped! [ All ] Hooray! 128 00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:15,495 - Now we can make toys again. - [ All ] Toys! Toys! Toys! 129 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:19,231 And I can deliver them. Billions and billions in one night. 130 00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:22,002 Ha! No human could do all that. 131 00:08:22,101 --> 00:08:24,672 - Evel Knievel could. - Nuh-uh! 132 00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:27,406 Santa's right. We need some sort of robot. 133 00:08:29,742 --> 00:08:32,345 Aw, crap! I'm some sort of robot. 134 00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:35,716 [ Neptunians ] Hooray! 135 00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:37,684 Hooray! 136 00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:40,019 Hooray! Ooh! 137 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:46,025 Bender can't be Santa. 138 00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:49,395 He wasn't built to Yuletide specifications. 139 00:08:49,495 --> 00:08:53,933 Oh, yeah? Well, I wasn't built to steal Leela's purse either, but that didn't stop me. 140 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:57,971 Bender! Bow before your new Santa! 141 00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,072 [ Neptunians ] Our hero! 142 00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,542 [ Bells Jingling ] * We are free and fairly sober * 143 00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,543 * With so many toys to build * 144 00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:06,947 * The machines are kinda tricky * 145 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,948 * Probably someone will be killed * 146 00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,150 * But we gladly work for nothing * 147 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:14,988 * Which is good because we don't intend to pay * 148 00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:18,725 * The elves are back to work today * 149 00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:21,828 Hooray! 150 00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:25,999 * We have just a couple hours to make several billion gifts * 151 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,301 * And the labor isn't easy * 152 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,570 * Then you'll all work triple shifts * 153 00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,905 * You can make the job go quicker * 154 00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:36,976 * If you turn up the controls to superspeed * 155 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:40,648 [ Tempo Quickens ] * It's back to work on Xmas Eve * [ Panting ] Hooray. 156 00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:44,417 * And though you're cold and sore and ugly * 157 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,654 * Your pride will mask the pain * 158 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:51,158 * Let my happy smile warm your heart * 159 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:54,360 * There's a toy lodged in my brain * 160 00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:57,965 * We are getting awfully tired and we can't work any faster * 161 00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:01,634 * And we're very, very sorry * Why, you selfish little bastards * 162 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:05,806 * Do you want the kids to think that Santa's just a crummy, empty-handed jerk * 163 00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:09,677 - Ow! - * Then shut your yaps and back to work * 164 00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:14,214 * Now it's very nearly Xmas * 165 00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:16,950 * We've done the best we could * These toy soldiers are poorly painted * 166 00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:18,951 * And they're made from inferior wood * 167 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:22,522 * I should give you all a beating, but I really have to fly * 168 00:10:22,621 --> 00:10:25,958 * If I weren't stuck here frozen, I'd harpoon you in the eye * 169 00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:29,663 * Now it's back into our tenements to drown ourselves in rye * 170 00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:33,734 * You did the best you could I guess, and some of these gorillas are okay * 171 00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,335 Hooray! We're adequate! 172 00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:38,672 * The elves have rescued Xmas Day ** Hooray! 173 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,078 Giddyap. 174 00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:58,859 Duh, gee, Bender, how're you gonna get through these bars? 175 00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:01,695 I don't know, moron. Suppose I bend 'em? 176 00:11:01,794 --> 00:11:04,030 Duh, okay. 177 00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:06,332 Ow! Mommy! Mommy! 178 00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:09,168 - Santa's through the perimeter! - This is it, kids! 179 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,671 Take your suicide pills so you won't suffer! 180 00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:14,006 No! Wait! I'm the good Santa. 181 00:11:14,106 --> 00:11:17,043 I've got toys, at very reasonable prices. 182 00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:20,913 Don't listen to him. He's the father of all lies and the uncle of all tricks. 183 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,250 But I come bearing Tri-Ominos. 184 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:27,888 - Go for the shins! - Aah! Ow, ow, ow, ow! Ow! 185 00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:34,394 [ Groans ] One down. 186 00:11:39,631 --> 00:11:43,302 [ Gasps ] Well, hello there, handsome. 187 00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:45,538 Won't you have a... cookie? 188 00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:48,942 Ah, don't mind if I do. Heh! 189 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,977 Ow! What's in these things? 190 00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:54,914 Why don't you slip into something more fiery? 191 00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:58,284 Ow! Oh! Yah! 192 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,620 Ow! Aah! 193 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:04,591 [ Yells, Grunts ] Ow. 194 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:10,629 Yo, Kringle! What happened to you, dawg? 195 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:14,100 Oh, it's awful, Kwanzabot. Everyone hates me. 196 00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:17,004 [ Scoffs ] At least they understand you. You know what I'm saying? 197 00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:19,005 Ain't nobody down with this Kwanza tip. 198 00:12:19,105 --> 00:12:21,942 Hey, maybe you can lend me a hand with these deliveries? 199 00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:26,245 [ Imitates Buzzer ] No time. I got to hand out the traditional Kwanza book. 200 00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:32,284 [ Sighs ] I've been giving these out for 647 years. 201 00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:41,693 [ Growls ] 202 00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:43,831 Ah, bathtub eggnog. 203 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:46,665 Just the way Grandma used to drink. 204 00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:49,937 [ Slurps ] Eww! It went sour! 205 00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:53,005 Can't I have a scented bath in peace? 206 00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:56,209 Remember, Professor, Bender is Santa. 207 00:12:56,308 --> 00:12:59,346 So we don't need to hurt him, right? Yes, yes, yes! 208 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,714 You sound like a broken MP3. 209 00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:04,817 Ho, ho-- Ow! 210 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:08,020 Professor! Don't you remember what I told you? 211 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,023 No! 212 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,125 [ Groans ] 213 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:17,898 Oh, there's gotta be a better way. 214 00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:26,306 Bender, you're a genius. [ Sinister Laughter ] 215 00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:30,543 This creates an unrealistic standard of beauty. [ Snorts ] 216 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:34,313 Now it's time for Santa to screw open his present. 217 00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,852 It's Santa, and we got him cornered. 218 00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:42,355 Oh, I smell a juicy promotion for me. 219 00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:45,024 And a juicy rehiring back onto the force for me. 220 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,427 Hey, wh-- what? 221 00:13:53,732 --> 00:13:56,937 This Xmas Day session of court will come to order. 222 00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:59,505 The Honorable Judge Whitey presiding. 223 00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:04,677 Santa Claus, you stand accused of crimes against humanity. 224 00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:06,678 How do you plead? 225 00:14:06,778 --> 00:14:09,015 Not Santa. There he is again! 226 00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:11,018 [ Whimpers ] 227 00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:15,923 Now, Pramala, I know it's scary in that there witness box, 228 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,857 but 'tain't no need to fear me. 229 00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:20,860 [ Clucks Loudly ] Aah! 230 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:23,395 I'm sorry. I thought you was corn. 231 00:14:23,495 --> 00:14:28,201 Now, would you please point at that robot over there? 232 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,102 [ Spectators Murmuring ] 233 00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:32,404 No further questions. 234 00:14:34,706 --> 00:14:37,809 [ Peeping ] Daddy done good, huh? 235 00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:41,914 Isn't it true that you have been paid for your testimony? 236 00:14:42,014 --> 00:14:44,716 Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy. 237 00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:47,419 And yet you haven't said what I told you to say. 238 00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:49,489 How can any of us trust you? 239 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,725 Quit badgering the witness. 240 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:56,663 Badger? Where? [ Clucking ] 241 00:14:57,830 --> 00:15:00,667 Whereas I have a ham dinner with mayonnaise... 242 00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:02,970 waiting for me at my mansion, 243 00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:05,004 I find the defendant guilty. 244 00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:09,176 - [ All Gasp ] - Santa Claus, I hereby sentence you... 245 00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:12,178 to be executed at sundown. 246 00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,846 - Oh! - It's not fair. 247 00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:17,985 I just hope that dumb chicken is ashamed of himself. 248 00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:21,421 [ Crowing ] 249 00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:29,162 Deactivated robot walking! 250 00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:32,099 We got a deactivated robot walking here. 251 00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:34,866 [ Whirring ] 252 00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:39,005 Hey, Santa, when you see the robot devil, tell him I'm a-comin'. 253 00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:43,842 Hey, that guy said to tell you that-- I heard him. 254 00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:52,884 ** [ "Pop Goes The Weasel" ] 255 00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:55,154 Greetings, masters! 256 00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:58,158 My companion and I made lots of toys. 257 00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,192 Out of my way, shrimpo. 258 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,562 We're here to bring Santa back so we can prove Bender's innocence. 259 00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:05,298 [ Buzzing ] 260 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:11,171 Do what you will, but we'll see who has the last "ho." 261 00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:15,008 [ All Grunting ] There. 262 00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:17,009 Oh, no! The ice is melting! 263 00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:20,647 The pollution from the factory-- it caused a greenhouse effect. 264 00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:23,816 - That would explain this heat. - And your breezy short shorts. 265 00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:26,253 Uh, yeah, that would explain it. 266 00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:28,687 [ Roars ] 267 00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,590 [ All Screaming ] 268 00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:39,331 [ All Screaming ] 269 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:43,669 [ Machinery Humming ] 270 00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:45,904 [ Panting ] 271 00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:48,575 [ Muttering, Grunting ] 272 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,842 [ Grunting ] 273 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,347 [ Santa Grunts ] Oh! 274 00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:04,757 Hurry! We've gotta think of another way to save Bender, or Xmas will be ruined. 275 00:17:04,856 --> 00:17:07,026 Especially for Bender. 276 00:17:10,962 --> 00:17:12,898 Look out, Earth. 277 00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:16,635 I'm dreaming of a red Xmas. 278 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:20,307 [ Evil Laughter ] 279 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:29,148 Ah, good old Maggie. Huh? Eh. 280 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:33,051 When I pull the switch, these powerful electromagnets will tear you limb from limb, 281 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,555 killing you in the most humane possible manner. 282 00:17:35,654 --> 00:17:38,790 But, Mr. Mayor, that doesn't sound humane! 283 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,827 It is for the witnesses because it's not boring. 284 00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:50,502 The instant this random number generator reaches zero, you'll be executed. 285 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:53,740 - [ Groans ] - Ten. 286 00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:56,008 Three. 287 00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:58,244 Twelve. Three again. 288 00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,980 - Stop the execution! - Leela! 289 00:18:01,079 --> 00:18:05,417 - Fifteen. Negative eight. - You've got the wrong Santa, and I'll prove it. 290 00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,920 I'm Santa Claus. [ Gasping ] 291 00:18:08,019 --> 00:18:11,523 - What? Twenty-seven. - No, I'm Santa Claus. 292 00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:14,527 - Six? - [ Low-pitched Voice ] We're also Santa Claus. 293 00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:16,695 And I'm his friend Jesus. 294 00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:20,833 Your Mayorness, if you execute him, you have to execute all of us. 295 00:18:20,932 --> 00:18:24,136 You people aren't Santa. You're not even robots. 296 00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:28,039 Ninety-one. How dare you lie in front of Jesus. 297 00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:30,210 Hey, zero. 298 00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:32,345 [ Electronic Humming ] 299 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:34,046 No! Stop the magnet! 300 00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:36,816 [ Voice Quavering ] * Swing low 301 00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:40,153 * Sweet chariot 302 00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:43,522 * Comin' for to carry me home * 303 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,892 - * Swing low * - This is horrible. 304 00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:47,993 But it's not boring. 305 00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:52,030 Ho, ho, ho! 306 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,867 Oh! 307 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,869 [ All Screaming ] 308 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,539 My God, the real Santa! Get him, Jesus! 309 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,675 I help those who help themselves! [ Whimpering ] 310 00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:08,347 Santa! You saved my life. Please don't kill me. 311 00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:12,652 Ha, ha, ho, ho, ho! I'm not here to kill you, Bender. 312 00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:15,887 I need you to help me save Xmas. 313 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,759 Gee whiz, Santa. 314 00:19:19,858 --> 00:19:22,060 You want me to help you? 315 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:26,199 - Don't do it! He's evil! - I know he is, but I have no choice. 316 00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:30,436 I'm running late, and if I don't complete my brutal rampage, 317 00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:33,272 well, it just wouldn't be Xmas. 318 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:35,275 I guess what I'm asking is, 319 00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:39,546 Bender, won't you join my slaying tonight? 320 00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:42,281 Well, 'tis the season. 321 00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:02,034 [ All Screaming ] 322 00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:04,604 Aah! 323 00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:07,473 My hair! My wedding cake! 324 00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:10,410 [ Laughing ] Let it snow! 325 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:15,448 Merry Xmas, kids. [ Grunts ] 326 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,784 [ Grunting ] 327 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:20,287 Aah! 328 00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:22,989 [ Laughing ] 329 00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:27,426 This wangs chung. 330 00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:30,997 After all the good we tried to do, Xmas turned out as rotten as ever. 331 00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:33,098 No heat. No power. 332 00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:37,103 Huddled together in fear, like lice in a burning wig. 333 00:20:37,202 --> 00:20:41,007 Wait a second. Maybe your futuristic Xmas isn't so rotten, after all. 334 00:20:41,106 --> 00:20:44,611 What are you talking about, you crouton? You said it yourself. 335 00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:48,448 Xmas should be about bringing people together, not blowing them apart. 336 00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:51,417 But don't you see? Fear has brought us together. 337 00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,420 That's the magic of Xmas. 338 00:20:53,519 --> 00:20:56,323 That's a big crock of-- 339 00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,525 Hold me. 340 00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:09,501 On, Trasher! On, Smasher! 341 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,605 - Hey, Kwanzabot. Where are you off to? - You didn't hear about it? 342 00:21:12,704 --> 00:21:16,008 Chanukah Zombie's having a luau at the B'nai B'rith. You comin'? 343 00:21:16,107 --> 00:21:18,678 Word. 344 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:22,348 By the way, Bender, here's a small token of my appreciation... 345 00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:25,217 for being Santa while I was trapped in the ice. 346 00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:27,819 Oooh! [ Chuckling ] 347 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,656 Hey, chief, you screwed up. There's nothing in here. 348 00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:34,560 Oh, it might appear empty, but the message is clear. 349 00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:36,663 Play Santa again, 350 00:21:36,762 --> 00:21:39,865 and I'll kill you next year. 351 00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:43,970 Aah! 352 00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:50,809 Ho, ho, ho!