1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,003 ♪ Christmas music playing ♪ 2 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,512 ♪ theme song playing ♪ 3 00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:41,041 ♪ festive music playing ♪ 4 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:45,087 [electronic Hynotoad drones] 5 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:47,464 [ornaments tinkle] 6 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:53,512 - Ah, Xmas season is upon us. 7 00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:55,013 Secure the perimeter! 8 00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:56,014 [all yell] 9 00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,683 ♪ tense music playing ♪ 10 00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,977 - Razor lights in place? [slicing] 11 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,020 - Roger! - Then, stand back! 12 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,356 [click, gigging] 13 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:09,987 [hooting] ALARM: Intruder alert. 14 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,613 [hooting] [boinging] 15 00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:13,657 [Bender and Hermes grunting] [wheel clicking] 16 00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:14,741 [clang] 17 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,327 - Santa's not getting past that! No way! 18 00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:19,872 Unless he knocks it down or something. - Hey, robot. 19 00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:21,999 - Someone left a card in your stocking. 20 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,041 - That's weird. 21 00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:25,419 Normally, I get mail delivered to my ass. 22 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,461 [creaks] 23 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,216 "I know what you did next Xmas!"? 24 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,177 Okay... Random! 25 00:01:33,177 --> 00:01:35,179 - I wonder what you will have done 26 00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:37,681 and who could possibly will have known about it. 27 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:40,767 - Eh, I do a lot of stuff. I'm probably doing something right now. 28 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:44,771 ♪ mysterious music playing ♪ 29 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:48,817 - Who's ready for their very first animated holiday special? 30 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,152 -Hooray! -So fun! 31 00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:51,236 -Whatever. 32 00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:54,531 - Ooh! Wait for me. I love having other kids around. 33 00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:59,161 NARRATOR [on TV]: This year's rerun of There's a Holiday for Everyone 34 00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:00,621 is brought to you by... 35 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,040 Mom's Old Fashioned Blood Remover. 36 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,875 Now in oatmeal spice. 37 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:15,427 - And that holiday is Xmas. 38 00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:18,305 [kids cheering, laughing] 39 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,932 KWANZAABOT: Hey, kids, any chance 40 00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:21,850 y'all wanna remix this holiday special, 41 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,394 and hear the dope story of Kwanzaabot instead? 42 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:27,439 - Or your favorite goofy golem, Chanukah Zombie? 43 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,733 - No! Tell us about Santa! 44 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:30,817 - Again? 45 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:33,153 - Yes! Every year! 46 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,404 [Kwanzaabot sighs] - Oy... 47 00:02:36,949 --> 00:02:38,575 ♪ whimsical music playing ♪ 48 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:41,036 The ancient tradition of Xmas 49 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:43,622 began in the year 2801, 50 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,374 when the Friendly Robot Company 51 00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:48,210 developed a high-powered mechanical Santa 52 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:52,464 capable of delivering over five mega-presents per second. 53 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,050 [popping] 54 00:02:57,970 --> 00:02:59,346 [glass shattering] - Hey... 55 00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:02,307 KWANZAABOT: They tricked him out with a pair of carbon-fiber Tims 56 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,643 and a chrome naughty-nice sensor. 57 00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:06,812 CHANUKAH ZOMBIE: So he'd know who deserved gifts 58 00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:09,439 and who deserved brutal punishment. 59 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:12,484 - Yo, that might've been the first mistake right there. 60 00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:14,945 [sleigh bells jingling] - But on Santa's very first delivery, 61 00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:17,948 something went tragically meshuggenah. 62 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:21,118 [creaking] His naughty-nice sensor malfunctioned. 63 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:23,745 - Man, that's some bleeped-up [klaxon]. 64 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,622 [sleigh bells jingle] 65 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,624 - Yay! Santa's here! 66 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,919 [gunfire] [people screaming] 67 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,380 - Oh! Oh my! [grunting] 68 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,507 [video stops] Oh, thank you. 69 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,926 - I'm sorry, kids. 70 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:41,180 I never wanted you to know Santa was real. 71 00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:43,682 ♪ somber music playing ♪ 72 00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:46,560 [hammering] 73 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,605 - Yuletide news, everyone! 74 00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:51,982 I know how to fix Santa! 75 00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:53,734 [incredulous chatter] 76 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,736 I just need to sneak up on him 77 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:59,239 and reverse the polarity of his naughty-nice sensor. 78 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:02,743 - But Santa is always on guard against attacks. Just like me. 79 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,620 Hii-yah! - Ow! 80 00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,830 - You'll never be able to sneak up on him. 81 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,540 - Not through space, no, 82 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:10,584 but through time, probably. 83 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:14,546 You see, Santa is only prepared for an attack from the present. 84 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:18,509 So I've been souping up my old time machine. 85 00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:19,635 - Where is it? 86 00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:21,970 - The question is when is it? 87 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,681 And the answer is right about... 88 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,100 now! 89 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,186 [impressed chatter] 90 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:30,395 - It's so amazing. 91 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,314 I don't even care that it's on my foot. 92 00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:33,315 [cracking] 93 00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:37,069 - I've installed a manual transmission with a reverse gear, 94 00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:40,781 so it can now go backward in time as well as forward. 95 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,616 [unlocks car] - Hooray-- [grunts] 96 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:46,078 - My plan is to back up to the year 2801, 97 00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,996 when things first went wrong, 98 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,123 and materialize behind Santa 99 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,043 as he exits this very fireplace. 100 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,838 - Did this building even exist in 2801? 101 00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:59,299 - Yeah, but back then, it was some kinda meat market, 102 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,052 where butchers would hook up and grind their sausages. 103 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,012 - Yes, anyway, once there, 104 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,973 I'll quickly reverse the polarity 105 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:09,810 of Santa's naughty-nice sensor, then return to the present. 106 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,854 Problem solved. 107 00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:15,315 - Um, Professor, isn't it risky to go back in time 108 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,692 and change history? 109 00:05:16,692 --> 00:05:18,151 - Oh my, yes. 110 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,445 But I'll go alone to minimize the chance 111 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:23,657 of anyone becoming their own grandfather. 112 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,618 - These things happen. - No, they don't. 113 00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:30,289 - Next time you see me, Santa will have been good again! 114 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,331 Ta-ta! 115 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,084 ♪ heroic music playing ♪ 116 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:37,671 Uh, just a couple of centuries straight backwards. 117 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,299 [bang, echoing meow] 118 00:05:40,299 --> 00:05:43,719 Damn it! I backed over Mrs. McGillicuddy's time cat! 119 00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:46,722 [clicking, grinding gears] Clutch, shift, and... 120 00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,849 away we go! 121 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,935 [zaps] [echoing cat yowl] 122 00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:55,939 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 123 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,191 [whooshing] 124 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,446 [beeping] 125 00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:07,826 [klaxons honking] 126 00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:12,372 ♪ 127 00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:18,212 SANTA: Ho-ho-hot! 128 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,173 [whirring] 129 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,634 [beeping] Cookie. 130 00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:26,803 [loud munching] 131 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,557 ♪ 132 00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:35,270 Cookie! 133 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,689 [loud munching] 134 00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:39,775 [clicking, beeping] 135 00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:42,861 Cookie! 136 00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:45,113 [loud munching] 137 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:48,575 [grinding gears] - Just shift into forward and... 138 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:49,576 Whoa! 139 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,078 [zaps, beeping] 140 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:54,831 Oh, bother. I shifted into reverse by accident. 141 00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:58,252 I guess I'll have to take her around by the scenic route. 142 00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:01,255 ♪ 143 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,716 [sips] 144 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:08,011 Ah, here comes the Big Backwards Bang. 145 00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:09,721 [zaps, whirring] 146 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,515 Ow! I'm being crushed 147 00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:14,393 by all the matter that ever was. [crinkling] 148 00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:18,105 [zapping, whirring] 149 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:20,983 - And here we are, the future! 150 00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:24,152 [reverse explosions] 151 00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:25,320 [zaps] 152 00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:29,616 [sips] 153 00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:32,536 [zapping] 154 00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:33,996 Ee-eye! 155 00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:35,247 [zapping] 156 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,208 - How'd it go? - Not a hitch! 157 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,668 [splattering] 158 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,503 I fixed Santa! 159 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:43,797 [all cheering] 160 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,632 - It'll be my first happy Xmas 161 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:48,594 since I got frozen and never saw my family again! 162 00:07:48,594 --> 00:07:50,179 - Now, hold on! 163 00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:51,680 Xmas isn't for a week. 164 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,391 Until then, we got nonstop busy work. 165 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,643 - Oh fuff. Let's stop pretending 166 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,645 we do anything around here. 167 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,731 Everyone, take the week off, 168 00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:03,567 and be with your so-called loved ones. 169 00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:05,027 [gasping] - Really? 170 00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,653 - I forgot I had loved ones! 171 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,947 - It's a human resources miracle! [excited chatter] 172 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,867 - Uncle Fry, I hope you'll join me and Cubert 173 00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:13,827 at my chalet in the Bronx. 174 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,663 - Wait! My family's hoping to meet Fry. 175 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,415 I mean, they met him before, 176 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,375 but he didn't make much of an impression. 177 00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:23,295 - I'll wear out my welcome at one, and then go to the other. 178 00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:26,048 [excited chatter] 179 00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:32,137 - So, Bender... - No. 180 00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:35,182 - You and I are the only ones with no family. 181 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:36,683 Maybe we could-- - No. 182 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:39,686 - Hang out? - Oh. Hang out, you say? 183 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,939 Let me think that over for a-- No. 184 00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:44,816 No. Oh, sorry. 185 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,860 Uh, I thought you were still talking. 186 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,529 ♪ festive music playing ♪ 187 00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:51,532 [Fry and Cubert grunting, laughing] 188 00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:52,533 [yelps] 189 00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:00,290 [sweaters whirring] [beeping, flash] 190 00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:04,086 ♪ festive steel drum music playing ♪ 191 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,006 [game beeping] 192 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:11,510 [laughter] 193 00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:14,054 [fan whirring] 194 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,722 ♪ somber music playing ♪ 195 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:19,685 - [sighs] It's just you and me, moldy sandwich man. 196 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,524 [dialing] 197 00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:26,650 [dial tone, beep] 198 00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,235 - Hello. Calculon acting. 199 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,029 - Hey, it's me! Your extremely close friend Bender. 200 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,030 Wanna hang out? 201 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,448 - How did you get this number? 202 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,993 - I didn't! I'm just dialing every number in order. 203 00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:37,411 - Keep dialing. 204 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,121 - [grumbles] This nuts bolts! 205 00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:40,247 [slams receiver] 206 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,583 - Hey, Bender. - Yes? I mean no! 207 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,793 - I brought dumpster nog... 208 00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:47,504 And not the kind for kids. [sloshes] 209 00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:50,007 - Hm. What's in it? - What's not in it? 210 00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:52,551 You want nutmeg on that? 211 00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:54,303 - Nutmeg? Gross! 212 00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:56,930 [ticking] 213 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,349 BOTH: ♪ Five golden rings! ♪ 214 00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,852 ♪ Four something something, three something else ♪ 215 00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:04,396 ♪ Two no one cares, and a partridge ♪ 216 00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:06,064 ♪ Drowned in our nog! ♪ 217 00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,065 [dripping, splats] 218 00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:09,651 - Whoof! This stuff is strong! 219 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:12,279 Hey, how many glasses have we hadded? 220 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,615 - None. This is just from the fumes. 221 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:15,657 [glasses clink] 222 00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:17,743 [ticks] 223 00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:19,244 - Aw, it's not fair! 224 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:22,497 Everyone else gets to have fun with their stupid family. 225 00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:24,833 - My species dies when we reproduce. 226 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,835 So if I had a family, I'd be dead. 227 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:29,630 Does anyone even care about that? - I sure don't. 228 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:32,799 - If you ask me, "good" Santa is ruining Xmas. 229 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:36,136 I'd like to give him such a snipping. [snipping] 230 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:39,890 - Ooh, I'd bend him a new one! But he's not here right now! 231 00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:42,267 - But, he has was been here. 232 00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:44,978 Every Xmas, he shows up in the fire hole. 233 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,021 [gasps] 234 00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:48,565 - We could drunk drive the time machine 235 00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,901 to last Xmas and kidnap him! 236 00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:54,238 Then, he won't be able to deliver presents this Xmas! 237 00:10:54,238 --> 00:10:57,241 - And our stupid friends' holiday will be ruined! 238 00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:59,034 [cheering] 239 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:01,828 Wait. Is kidnapping Santa a good idea, 240 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:05,207 or does it just seem like a good idea because we're intoximated? 241 00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:08,043 - It's a good [belches] idea. 242 00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:09,586 [woozy giggling] [opens time machine door] 243 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,838 Whee! 244 00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:12,714 [woozy laugh] 245 00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,551 Set course for last Xmas! 246 00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:16,969 [zaps] 247 00:11:16,969 --> 00:11:20,639 ♪ Jingle bells, Zoidberg smells just like rotten eggs ♪ 248 00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:23,809 - [gasps] I'm immortalized in song. 249 00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:26,854 ♪ 250 00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:29,231 - Cookie? [loud munching] 251 00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:30,274 [zaps] 252 00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:33,402 - And here we are, last Xmas. 253 00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:34,987 Get him! 254 00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:37,990 - Bite my glittering festive ass! 255 00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:39,992 [surprised grunting] 256 00:11:39,992 --> 00:11:42,995 - Unhand me, you naughty boys! [grunts] 257 00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:45,664 [muffled yelling] 258 00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:46,665 [Bender grunts] 259 00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:48,250 [muffled yelling] 260 00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:49,501 [grunting] 261 00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:50,210 [zaps] 262 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:53,213 ♪ 263 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,048 [zaps] 264 00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,467 [muffled yelling] 265 00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,720 - Shove him in the old meat locker! 266 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,471 - We have an old meat locker? 267 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,974 BENDER [singing]: ♪ Silent night ♪ 268 00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:05,475 ♪ Holy night ♪ 269 00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:06,560 [clangs] 270 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,561 [Bender grunts] 271 00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:08,937 [door creaks] 272 00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:11,481 [Bender and Zoidberg grunting] 273 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,275 - Oh, boy. Hey, boy. 274 00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:14,443 [Bender grunts] 275 00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:17,738 - Try spreading joy now, you big Xmas ham. 276 00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:19,990 [door creaks, slams] 277 00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:22,993 - We're geniuses! - I'm geniuses! 278 00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:25,287 ♪ Do the Bender! Do the Bender! ♪ 279 00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:27,497 BOTH: ♪ Do the Bender! Do the Bender! ♪ 280 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,458 [Zoidberg whooping] 281 00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:30,667 - You know, Zoidberg, 282 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,003 you're only half as bad as I thought you were. 283 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,589 - [sniffles] That means a lot. 284 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:38,091 [metallic bang] Uh-oh. We woke the meat up. 285 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,636 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 286 00:12:40,636 --> 00:12:42,763 [angry growl] [yelling] 287 00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:43,931 [panting] 288 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:46,016 - What do we do? - The time machine! 289 00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:47,017 BENDER: Good idea! 290 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:48,936 [grunts] 291 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:54,733 - Get ready to sleep in heavenly peace! 292 00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:56,735 [Bender and Zoidberg whimper] 293 00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:57,986 Ho, ho-- 294 00:12:58,904 --> 00:13:00,239 Whoa! 295 00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:03,742 [zapping, yelling] 296 00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:06,912 BOTH: Ooh... Ah... 297 00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:08,914 Ooh... [Santa yelling] 298 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:15,462 - He's dead. We killed Santa Claus. 299 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,715 - Uh... You killed Santy Claus. 300 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:21,426 - Uh... Robot? 301 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:22,553 ♪ 302 00:13:22,553 --> 00:13:24,805 [whimpering] 303 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,265 [frightened squeal] 304 00:13:27,266 --> 00:13:30,853 ♪ tense music playing ♪ 305 00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:33,146 - This was supposed to be a fun kidnapping! 306 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,398 What do we do now? 307 00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:37,568 - We gotta get rid of the body. That's usually pretty fun. 308 00:13:37,568 --> 00:13:38,777 ♪ 309 00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:42,155 Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! 310 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,156 Stroke! 311 00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:44,992 - Oops. 312 00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:46,618 [splash] Oops. 313 00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:48,579 Ow! 314 00:13:48,579 --> 00:13:50,414 [distant ship horn] 315 00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:54,376 - Okay. Now, we just add some extra weight to sink the corpse. 316 00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:55,377 [heavy bang] 317 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,713 - It's not working! 318 00:13:57,713 --> 00:13:59,173 [marker squeaking] 319 00:13:59,173 --> 00:14:00,215 Still nothing! 320 00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:03,510 - Why! Won't! You! Sink!? [clanging] 321 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,971 [both sputtering] 322 00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:06,972 BOTH: Ah! 323 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:08,390 [splashing] 324 00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,058 [both panting] 325 00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:12,186 [police siren blaring] 326 00:14:12,186 --> 00:14:14,271 URL: Hands up, boat bags. 327 00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:16,190 - What's with the bloated floater? 328 00:14:16,190 --> 00:14:18,358 - I admit it! We murd-- [grunts] 329 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:21,778 - Uh, just, uh, dumping some toxic waste, officers. 330 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,198 - Huh. Guess you gotta put it somewhere. 331 00:14:24,198 --> 00:14:26,116 - Carry on, night dumpers. 332 00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:27,743 ♪ 333 00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:29,286 [Bender giggles] 334 00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:30,871 [boat rumbling] 335 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:37,127 - Dwight, it's time to teach you the Conrad holiday turducken recipe. 336 00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:39,129 Cooked in alphabetical order. 337 00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:40,923 - Alrighty then. 338 00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:44,635 We gonna start with the chicken, then duck, and then... 339 00:14:44,635 --> 00:14:46,803 [muttering] Let me see now. Now the E and the F... 340 00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:49,473 [normal] Husband! We using flamingo this year? 341 00:14:49,473 --> 00:14:52,309 - At $20 a pound!? No, thank you. 342 00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:54,811 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 343 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,688 [flushing] 344 00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:58,774 - It's not working! - Flush harder! 345 00:14:58,774 --> 00:15:01,818 - I'm flushing as hard as I can! Got any other ideas, 346 00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:04,321 Mr. I'm-So-Great-At-Hiding-Corpses? 347 00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:07,866 - Well, at least I have ideas! What do you suggest? 348 00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:10,577 - Hm... We could try an acid bath. 349 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,204 - That does sound relaxing, but-- 350 00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:14,998 - No! We'll dissolve Santa's body! 351 00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,376 Professor has some acid upstairs in his lab. 352 00:15:17,376 --> 00:15:19,002 I'll go fill this trash bag. 353 00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:21,380 [footsteps departing] 354 00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,174 [splashing] [liquid dripping, hissing] 355 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,093 Oops! [floor creaking] 356 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,763 [hissing, bubbling] 357 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:32,015 - Remind me, is this the ground floor? 358 00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:33,851 [both yell] 359 00:15:33,851 --> 00:15:34,852 [crashing] 360 00:15:34,852 --> 00:15:38,856 - Behold, my family's traditional Yuletide feast. 361 00:15:38,856 --> 00:15:40,941 [grunts] Turdolphin! 362 00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:44,361 It's fresh turtle cooked inside a fermented dolphin. 363 00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:47,489 - Wow. Soon, it's gonna be barf inside a vomit. 364 00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:50,534 - Dad. Shh! Keep the truth to yourself. 365 00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:52,703 - Which part smells like whale butt? 366 00:15:52,703 --> 00:15:54,413 - Ooh, that would be the gravy. 367 00:15:54,413 --> 00:15:55,622 [sloshing] 368 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,208 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 369 00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:00,002 [cranking] - You ruined everything! 370 00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:02,171 You're the one who wanted to kidnap Santa! 371 00:16:02,171 --> 00:16:04,381 - Oh, yeah? Well, you enabled me, 372 00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:08,010 so shut up and keep pushing him into the meat grinder! 373 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:10,512 - Bender, look! It's working! 374 00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:13,015 Wait. Where's my claw? 375 00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:16,018 ♪ festive music playing ♪ 376 00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:18,812 - Gather round, relatives, as I cook up 377 00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:21,023 turducken a la Farnsworth 378 00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:23,442 with this 3D poultry printer. 379 00:16:23,442 --> 00:16:26,361 - As long as it's got three dimensions, I'll eat it. 380 00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:28,572 - We start with liquid chicken. 381 00:16:28,572 --> 00:16:31,450 [beeping, whirring] 382 00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:33,660 Then, some duck filament. 383 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:36,872 [clicking] 384 00:16:39,291 --> 00:16:42,252 And finally, a whole fresh turkey. 385 00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:44,421 I printed this one out earlier. 386 00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:45,672 [bones crunching] 387 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:46,840 [squishing] 388 00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:53,305 [licking fingers, humming happily] 389 00:16:53,305 --> 00:16:56,558 - Oh, man. I need to head out if I'm gonna make it to Leela's. 390 00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:59,770 Do you have any skis? - No, but I can print some. 391 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:02,814 [pop, whirring] 392 00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:05,234 ♪ 393 00:17:05,234 --> 00:17:08,654 - How are we making turducken? There's nothing in the refrigerator. 394 00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:11,782 - Eh, that fridge doesn't work. We use it as a spare bedroom. 395 00:17:11,782 --> 00:17:14,284 - We serve fresh turducken, Leela. 396 00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:17,538 [squawks] They roam the sewers in huge flocks. 397 00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:20,832 [gobbling, quacking, clucking] 398 00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:22,960 - Are they hard to catch? - Oh, no. 399 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,753 They crave death. 400 00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:26,964 [various squawks] 401 00:17:27,673 --> 00:17:28,674 [door creaks] 402 00:17:28,674 --> 00:17:29,967 - Hey! Sorry I'm late. 403 00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:32,010 I got hungry and ate my skis. 404 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,887 - Fry, you made it! 405 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:36,223 You remember my parents and my grandma? 406 00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:39,017 [tentacle squishing] - Ah, yes. The rose of the sewers. 407 00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:40,018 Mwah! 408 00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:42,771 - Leela, if you don't marry him, 409 00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,898 I will. [popping] 410 00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:47,359 - So, uh, where's Bender and Zoidberg? 411 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:50,195 - What? I figured they were with you. Or something. 412 00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:52,531 They're probably relaxing by the fire. 413 00:17:52,531 --> 00:17:54,825 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 414 00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:56,118 [Bender whimpering] 415 00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:59,371 - The only rational option is to eat Santa. 416 00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:00,998 Right? Right!? 417 00:18:00,998 --> 00:18:02,249 - I don't know! 418 00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:04,835 Oh, this is a nightmare before Xmas. 419 00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:06,712 I wish we'd never become friends! 420 00:18:06,712 --> 00:18:09,715 - We're not friends! And we never were! 421 00:18:09,715 --> 00:18:10,924 ♪ emotional music playing ♪ 422 00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:13,510 - But we danced. And murdered. 423 00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:14,595 [whirring] 424 00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:17,681 - I'll do the carving. You want white Christmas or dark Christmas? 425 00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:19,725 [knocking on door] [both yelp] 426 00:18:19,725 --> 00:18:20,559 [door creaks] 427 00:18:21,018 --> 00:18:22,936 ALL: Surprise! 428 00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:24,438 - Bah humbug! 429 00:18:27,566 --> 00:18:29,568 ♪ 430 00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:34,740 - Nobody's home! Leave a message at the beep. 431 00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:35,949 Beep! 432 00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:37,659 - Open up or we'll carol! 433 00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:40,829 ZOIDBERG: Uh, Bender! We have company! 434 00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:43,707 BENDER: Uh, just a sec! I'm tidying up. 435 00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:46,627 [clanking, chainsaw roaring, metal scraping] 436 00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:48,462 LEELA: Hii-yah! [grunts] 437 00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:52,007 - Come in, come in! Everything's normal. 438 00:18:52,007 --> 00:18:53,175 [footsteps approach] 439 00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:55,052 - Merry Xmas, you guys. 440 00:18:55,052 --> 00:18:57,596 - We didn't know you hadn't been invited anywhere. 441 00:18:57,596 --> 00:19:00,641 - We came as soon as we realized what losers you are. 442 00:19:00,641 --> 00:19:03,310 - Uh, punch? 443 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:05,771 - Nah, I'll just have a beer. 444 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,107 [creak, pop] 445 00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:11,652 - Who's hungry? We all brought 446 00:19:11,652 --> 00:19:14,196 our families' unique holiday dishes. 447 00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:16,949 - Turducken! - Turdolphin! 448 00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:18,408 - Huh. 449 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:21,620 - How thoughtful of you all to drop this disturbing food off, 450 00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:24,331 and then be immediately on your way. Goodbye! 451 00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:25,874 - Dinner's served! 452 00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:29,086 Isn't that pretty? It looks like a magazine. 453 00:19:29,086 --> 00:19:32,256 - Bender, since when do you have three legs? 454 00:19:32,256 --> 00:19:34,466 - Uh, uh, th-this one's a spare. 455 00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:36,677 In case I break down on the highway. 456 00:19:36,677 --> 00:19:39,680 - And why is it wearing a snow boot? 457 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:40,472 [grunts] 458 00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:44,434 [muffled yelling] 459 00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,770 [carving knife whirring] 460 00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:49,773 ♪ heartwarming music playing ♪ 461 00:19:54,862 --> 00:19:57,614 - Finally, an old-time happy Xmas, 462 00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:59,449 with presents for everyone! 463 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:01,702 [whispers] I'm hoping for Batman underpants. 464 00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:04,288 - Santa should be here any minute now. 465 00:20:04,288 --> 00:20:06,373 [kids and Fry cheering] 466 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,375 - The guilt is too much! I confess! 467 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:09,918 Santa won't-- [muffled grumbling] 468 00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:11,628 [sleigh bells jingling] 469 00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:13,505 - What's that? Who's jingling!? 470 00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:16,383 - Ah, here he comes! 471 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:19,887 ♪ whimsical Christmas music playing ♪ 472 00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:23,682 - Yay! It's good Santa! 473 00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:26,602 - Indeed, because I fixed him. 474 00:20:26,602 --> 00:20:29,021 - Santa seems less dead than we thought. 475 00:20:29,021 --> 00:20:30,689 [laser whirring] 476 00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:32,357 ALL: Ooh... 477 00:20:32,357 --> 00:20:35,527 [gunfire] [all screaming] 478 00:20:36,028 --> 00:20:38,864 [glass breaking, smashing] - I don't understand. He's still evil! 479 00:20:38,864 --> 00:20:40,991 I personally went back in time 480 00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:43,785 and reversed his naughty-nice sensor! 481 00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:46,330 Uh-oh. - What you do, old man? 482 00:20:46,330 --> 00:20:49,833 [gunfire continues] - Oh, I've made a complete Fry of myself. 483 00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:52,961 You see, Santa's sensor was exactly like the one 484 00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:54,546 on this punch bowl. 485 00:20:54,546 --> 00:20:56,089 When he was first built, 486 00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:58,509 it was in the correct position. 487 00:20:58,509 --> 00:21:01,929 But when I went back in time, I flipped it around. 488 00:21:01,929 --> 00:21:05,098 Me! Oh, lordy-loo. 489 00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:08,227 I'm the one who made Santa evil. 490 00:21:08,227 --> 00:21:10,103 [all gasp] - You monster! 491 00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:12,147 [loud rumbling] [electricity fizzling] 492 00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:14,483 [zooming] [sleigh bells jingle] 493 00:21:14,483 --> 00:21:17,069 SANTA: You've all been very naughty! 494 00:21:17,069 --> 00:21:19,988 Especially you, Mandy. 495 00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:23,450 - I'm sorry I forgot to feed the hamster! 496 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,327 - Arm yourselves! 497 00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:26,703 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 498 00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:30,415 [all screaming] 499 00:21:33,085 --> 00:21:34,753 [beeping] 500 00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:37,297 - Cookie? [munching] 501 00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:38,507 [zaps] 502 00:21:38,507 --> 00:21:41,718 - And here we are, last Xmas. 503 00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:43,262 Get him! 504 00:21:43,262 --> 00:21:46,181 - Bite my glittering festive ass. 505 00:21:46,181 --> 00:21:47,641 [surprised grunting] 506 00:21:47,641 --> 00:21:51,603 - Unhand me, you naughty boys. [grunts] 507 00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:53,522 [muffled yelling] - Who are those handsome guys, 508 00:21:53,522 --> 00:21:55,357 and what are they doing to poor Santa? 509 00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:57,484 - That's us, you idiot. 510 00:21:57,484 --> 00:21:59,695 You didn't take us to last Xmas. 511 00:21:59,695 --> 00:22:03,115 You took us to next Xmas! Meaning this Xmas! 512 00:22:03,115 --> 00:22:05,367 - Damn it, Bender. I'm a doctor, 513 00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:06,994 not a time machine guy! 514 00:22:06,994 --> 00:22:09,413 [grunting] [zaps] 515 00:22:10,247 --> 00:22:12,958 [confused chatter] 516 00:22:12,958 --> 00:22:15,544 [power whirring] - I think I speak for everyone when I say, 517 00:22:15,544 --> 00:22:17,087 uh-whuh? 518 00:22:17,087 --> 00:22:18,922 - I can't hold it in anymore! 519 00:22:18,922 --> 00:22:20,340 [muffled yelling] 520 00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:23,385 - We kidnapped and murdered Santa! 521 00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:25,137 [all gasp] 522 00:22:25,137 --> 00:22:28,432 - Oh. - We didn't mean to, but still! 523 00:22:28,432 --> 00:22:30,225 [both crying] 524 00:22:30,225 --> 00:22:32,853 - Stop blubbering, you bloobs! 525 00:22:32,853 --> 00:22:34,313 You're heroes! 526 00:22:34,313 --> 00:22:35,939 [crying] BENDER: What-roes? 527 00:22:35,939 --> 00:22:38,192 - The professor set Santa to kill! 528 00:22:38,192 --> 00:22:41,236 You saved all [muttering] 19 of us! 529 00:22:41,236 --> 00:22:43,989 - We're heroes? - Damn right, we are! 530 00:22:43,989 --> 00:22:47,326 BOTH: ♪ Do the Bender! Do the Bender! Do the Bender! ♪ 531 00:22:47,326 --> 00:22:49,161 [Zoidberg whooping] - Aw, Bender! 532 00:22:49,161 --> 00:22:51,205 You and Zoidberg are friends now? 533 00:22:51,205 --> 00:22:52,664 That's so cute. 534 00:22:52,664 --> 00:22:54,625 - Uh, absolutely not! 535 00:22:54,625 --> 00:22:56,793 You're all having a mass hallucination! 536 00:22:56,793 --> 00:22:59,713 - So, what happened to Santa? 537 00:22:59,713 --> 00:23:00,797 [sipping] 538 00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,382 - You're drinking out of him. 539 00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:04,801 - There's one thing I still don't understand. 540 00:23:04,801 --> 00:23:07,346 Which one of you meatbags wrote the creepy notes? 541 00:23:07,346 --> 00:23:09,139 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 542 00:23:09,139 --> 00:23:10,849 - 'Twas I! [all gasp] 543 00:23:10,849 --> 00:23:12,059 [clanging] 544 00:23:13,477 --> 00:23:14,728 [sipping] 545 00:23:14,728 --> 00:23:16,980 I sent the notes from the future! 546 00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:18,524 - Because I murdered you? 547 00:23:18,524 --> 00:23:22,361 - No! Because I knew what you did next Xmas. 548 00:23:22,361 --> 00:23:24,821 You became friends with Zoidberg! 549 00:23:24,821 --> 00:23:26,907 So I'm blackmailing you! 550 00:23:26,907 --> 00:23:30,077 - No... No! 551 00:23:30,077 --> 00:23:31,578 You take Amy's Venmo? 552 00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:33,205 - Sure. - Hey! 553 00:23:33,205 --> 00:23:36,792 ♪ festive music playing ♪ 554 00:23:37,584 --> 00:23:38,836 SANTA: Cookie! 555 00:23:38,836 --> 00:23:41,338 [electricity fizzling] 556 00:23:41,922 --> 00:23:43,298 - Yo, Santa Bot! 557 00:23:43,298 --> 00:23:47,219 I'ma drop my Futurama Xmas list for 3023. 558 00:23:47,219 --> 00:23:50,180 Y'all ready for this? I'm about to get nice. 559 00:23:50,180 --> 00:23:51,181 ♪ Christmas hip-hop music playing ♪ 560 00:23:51,181 --> 00:23:52,975 Kwanzaabot. Yeah. 561 00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:19,334 ♪ Christmas hip-hop music ends ♪ 562 00:24:19,334 --> 00:24:22,337 ♪