1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,004 (dramatic music) 2 00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:11,511 {\an8}(theme song playing) 3 00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:40,081 ♪ 4 00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:42,083 (sighs) 5 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,420 (sighs, sucking) 6 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,547 {\an8}Aw. He's using his jacket 7 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,591 {\an8}as some kind of security blanket. 8 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,426 {\an8}That's so cute and pathetic. 9 00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:54,721 {\an8}It really is. You do you, weirdo! 10 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,265 {\an8}Oh, hey, guys. I'm just sucking on my jacket. 11 00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:59,642 {\an8}A Clump-O-Honey candy got stuck right there 12 00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:02,395 {\an8}over a thousand years ago, and I can still taste it. 13 00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,814 You know who I bet would like some of that? 14 00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:06,149 Me! Zoidberg. 15 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,026 (slurping) 16 00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:10,361 Oh, no! (slurping) 17 00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:12,322 Zoidberg, you residue hog! 18 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,532 Now all I taste is crab juice. 19 00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:16,743 So, buy another jacket candy. 20 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,787 {\an8}I can't. They stopped making it 21 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:21,915 {\an8}after it got reclassified as industrial glue. 22 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:25,293 {\an8}Ah. Then I, Bender, will recreate the recipe. 23 00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:28,379 {\an8}Don't forget, I came in third on MasterChef Junior. 24 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,007 {\an8}(bubbling) 25 00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:32,383 {\an8}(squirting) 26 00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,385 {\an8}May I have a taste? 27 00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:37,180 {\an8}Sure. You seem like the kind of guy who has a mouth. 28 00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,515 {\an8}(slurps, smacking) 29 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:41,684 {\an8}Whoa! Diabetic coma! 30 00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:44,687 {\an8}Hm. I better add some sugar to make it less sweet. 31 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,942 {\an8}And just a touch of treacle 32 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:52,070 to remind me of my dear departed Aunt Juanita. 33 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:54,614 (sniffles) She drowned in treacle. 34 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:57,617 You know I'm dying on the floor. 35 00:01:57,617 --> 00:02:00,120 (Bender humming) 36 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,123 - (excited murmuring) - FRY: Mm. Yum. 37 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,500 - So, what do you think? - (Fry smacking) 38 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:08,837 Mm! It's perfect, Bender. Totally jacket worthy. 39 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,005 (smacking) It's a little sticky. 40 00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:12,799 (muffled): It's a lot sticky! 41 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,467 (muffled groaning) 42 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:17,303 (smack) And there's something hard in it. 43 00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:18,388 (dramatic sting) 44 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,973 - (gasps) - (Bender yelps) 45 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:23,560 Luckily, I'm an expert at fixing human beak bones. 46 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,312 Are you free Friday for an expensive appointment? 47 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,898 Let me check. Open calendar! 48 00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,610 Shmeird. There's some old alert 49 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,863 I set up 20 years ago. 50 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,115 {\an8}(gasps) Our babies?! 51 00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:40,118 It's time, my love. 52 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:41,911 Oh, Kif! 53 00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:43,580 The hell are you talking about? 54 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,915 Something to do with the meatbag life cycle? 55 00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:48,001 That's right, Bender. Many years ago, 56 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,420 I gave birth to a clutch of tadpoles 57 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,213 with Amy by my side. 58 00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:54,674 I have video of the birth. Wanna see it? 59 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:55,842 ALL: No! 60 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,344 That is the wrong kind of delivery! 61 00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:03,016 - Oh, Nelly! Oh! - (squishing) 62 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,810 - (screaming, groaning) - (splattering) 63 00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:07,520 (crew groans) 64 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,397 Life is disgusting. 65 00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:11,399 No, it was beautiful. 66 00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:13,902 But I was so not prepared to be a mother. 67 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,904 In 20 years, they'll sprout legs 68 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,865 and crawl back onto land as children. 69 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,618 I'll be ready then. 70 00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:25,121 Well, Amy, are you ready now? 71 00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:26,998 Having a family with you 72 00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:30,376 is the only thing I want in the whole world. 73 00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:32,712 - BENDER: Then can I have your car? - No! 74 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,464 Too late. I already crashed it. 75 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,882 {\an8}(zooming) 76 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,468 {\an8}♪ 77 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,638 (creatures chirping) 78 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,014 Oh, this is so exciting! 79 00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:45,475 The birth ceremony will begin any minute. 80 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,518 Thanks for the warning. 81 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,563 - And don't describe it to me! - (car doors open) 82 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,982 - INEZ: We're here! - Mom! Dad! 83 00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:55,193 Oh, I'm so glad you made it! 84 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:58,029 Oh, we wouldn't miss the birth of our grandbabies 85 00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,656 for a million dollars. 86 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,824 'Cause we're so rich, that's like a penny. 87 00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:04,827 - (bubbling, gurgling) - (Kif sputtering) 88 00:04:04,827 --> 00:04:07,455 Oh, my. It's the Grand Midwife. 89 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,999 I am the Grand Midwife! 90 00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:11,668 Big fan! 91 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,962 I am Kif of the clan Kroker. 92 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:16,297 I know. I recognize your head. 93 00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:18,383 And this is my smizmar, Amy. 94 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,843 We have come to receive our offspring. 95 00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:23,137 As you transition to parenthood, 96 00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:25,765 I shall be your counsel and guide. 97 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:29,102 I do so out of solemn respect for our traditions 98 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,646 and not for any optional cash donation 99 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,731 people sometimes place in that basket. 100 00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:35,066 - Thank you. - It's green, 101 00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,359 and there's a little sign on it. 102 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:37,443 Found it! 103 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,782 Then the Emergence shall now commence! 104 00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:45,326 (excited chattering) 105 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:46,995 (chirping) 106 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,580 Or not. It's unpredictable. 107 00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:52,625 Guess I'll have to wing it. Anybody here from out of town? 108 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,585 - (splashing) - O-oh! Here they come. 109 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:57,922 ♪ 110 00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:01,009 (bubbling, gurgling) 111 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,970 Oh my. I'm so anxious, 112 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,097 my camouflage reflex is kicking in. 113 00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,598 No, it's helpful. 114 00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:10,101 I wanna look cute for our hundreds of kids. 115 00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:11,686 ♪ 116 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:15,064 We shall now stand by, without interfering, 117 00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:18,192 as we observe the sacred process known as... 118 00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:19,610 the Winnowing. 119 00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,029 What's that mean? 120 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,114 It means don't start naming them yet. 121 00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:24,282 (cawing) 122 00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,284 ♪ 123 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,328 (all gasp) 124 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:31,831 (squawks) 125 00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,167 (chomp) 126 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:40,089 ♪ 127 00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:41,591 Four of them made it! 128 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,009 (snarling, crunching) 129 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,635 Well, three and a half. 130 00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:47,180 Young creatures of the Black Lagoon, 131 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,182 go now to your parents. 132 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:52,727 (squishy footsteps) 133 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,562 Uh, can I help you? 134 00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:55,897 Over here! 135 00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:02,153 (gasps) They're perfect. 136 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,280 Ew. She's touching them. 137 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:07,283 Cherish these children, Kif and Amy, 138 00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:09,535 for they are beautiful. 139 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:12,497 BENDER: Eh... 140 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:13,956 Well, in-in the sense that 141 00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:15,458 all children are beautiful. 142 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:18,669 (understanding chatter) 143 00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:22,340 ♪ 144 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:24,050 (squishing) 145 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,220 The transformation is complete! 146 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:30,765 We welcome these new beings of the land. 147 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,475 (cheering, applause) 148 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,977 They can call me Captain Uncle. 149 00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:38,314 Uh, I'll go dispose of this medical waste. 150 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,775 With a little butter and lemon. 151 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,528 - Want a picture with the kids? - No need. 152 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,696 The way they look is burned into my mind. 153 00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:48,408 They're nice, you know? Just a kinda little-- 154 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,700 Super gross. 155 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:52,286 But, you're finally grandparents. 156 00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:54,163 That'll be our little secret. 157 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:58,167 {\an8}- (car door opens, shuts) - (engine starts, whirring) 158 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:03,089 ♪ 159 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,884 {\an8}PROFESSOR: Oh my. 160 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,597 Thanks for bringing the kids by for my lunch break. 161 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:13,850 They're the sweetest thing on the menu. 162 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:14,934 BENDER: Not even close! 163 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,854 Uh, question. 164 00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,940 These three babies are totally different sizes. 165 00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:22,775 Question mark. 166 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,111 Oh, well, they grew at varying rates 167 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,697 depending on the temperature of the water they were in. 168 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,992 Little Newt here was in a cold, deep area. 169 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,244 - Mama! - Wrong again. 170 00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:34,454 (Newt cooing) 171 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:37,081 Mandy is from the temperate middle depths. 172 00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:38,666 He's shrively! 173 00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:41,043 (laughs) You haven't seen the half of it. 174 00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:43,254 And Axl is from the warm shallows, 175 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,089 just like his old man. 176 00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:47,967 (groans) Do you always have to talk about me? 177 00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:50,428 So why does this one keep calling me Mama? 178 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,180 And what's with the big weird eye? 179 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,474 It's not weird. It looks like yours. 180 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,808 (whispers): It's pretty weird. 181 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,310 Why would he look like me? 182 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,769 Don't you remember? 183 00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:01,481 Twenty years ago, you impregnated Kif. 184 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,816 Seriously? Oh, my God. 185 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,610 I must have been super drunk. 186 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:08,988 Leela, you bone brain! You didn't have sex. 187 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,990 (laughs) Bone. 188 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,409 Luckily, there's an educational movie 189 00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:16,954 that explains how Kif's species reproduces. 190 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,706 And it's filthy. 191 00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:21,876 NARRATOR: YowzaVision Educational Films 192 00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:25,379 presents Sex Across The Universe. 193 00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:28,216 BENDER: Oh, yeah! Educate me, baby. 194 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:30,551 NARRATOR: This week, the Amphibiosans. 195 00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,763 For every organism across the universe, 196 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:37,433 reproduction is a steamy, erotic process. 197 00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:40,019 Except the Amphibiosans. 198 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,230 They just barely touch hands 199 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,941 while the rest of us are gettin' it on. 200 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,068 - Yowza. - (hologram ends) 201 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,486 BENDER: Eh, that was pretty hot. 202 00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:51,113 So, you see, Amy was my smizmar, 203 00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:54,700 the one whose mere presence made me receptive to pregnancy. 204 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,787 Which makes me their smizmama. 205 00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:01,082 But it was Lila who contributed the DNA 206 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:04,126 when she accidentally touched Kif's hand. 207 00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:06,003 Are you sure I wasn't drunk? 208 00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:08,589 I-I mean, I'm drunk now. (gulping) 209 00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:10,091 Mwah! 210 00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:11,759 Ew! Mom, Dad! 211 00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:13,594 - (burps) - AXL: Leela! 212 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:17,515 ♪ Will you stay in our lovers' story? ♪ 213 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:21,018 ♪ If you stay, you won't be sorry ♪ 214 00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:23,437 ♪ 'Cause we believe in you ♪ 215 00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:25,022 (crying) 216 00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:28,734 ♪ Soon you'll grow, so take a chance ♪ 217 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:33,531 ♪ With a couple of kooks hung up on romancing ♪ 218 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:38,035 ♪ Will you stay in our lovers' story? ♪ 219 00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:41,622 ♪ If you stay, you won't be sorry ♪ 220 00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:43,541 ♪ 'Cause we believe in you ♪ 221 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,167 (quacking) 222 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:48,588 ♪ Soon, you'll grow, so take a chance ♪ 223 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,715 {\an8}♪ With a couple of kooks ♪ 224 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:53,634 ♪ Hung up on romancing ♪ 225 00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,094 (cooing) 226 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,554 (giggling) 227 00:09:57,471 --> 00:10:00,099 Let's reinflate my head and go home. 228 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:04,061 Yeah. Maybe they'll conk out and we'll get a little us time. 229 00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:07,607 - (kids laughing) - (Kif gasping) 230 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,859 - (laughing) - (splattering) 231 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,986 (sighs) Those little guys are the best, 232 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,529 but they're a lot. 233 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,532 Well, luckily, there's two of us to split the work. 234 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:19,744 ♪ Doop, doo-doo-doop, doop, doop, doop, doop! ♪ 235 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,912 Captain Brannigan! At your service, sir. 236 00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:23,122 With ease, Lieutenant. 237 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,291 I have a bit of news to say at you. 238 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,667 Is it about the baby gifts 239 00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,252 you claim you sent? Because we still haven't-- 240 00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:30,004 I'm afraid there's no time to discuss 241 00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:32,798 the many presents I bought, some of which are large. 242 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:35,051 Soldier, you are ordered to report for duty. 243 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,218 (Amy gasps) 244 00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:39,513 - Is it war? - I hope so, but we're not sure. 245 00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:42,308 All we know is that DOOP has lost radio contact 246 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,810 with a remote outpost in Ursa Major. 247 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:45,895 Over and under. 248 00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:46,979 - (beep) - (clattering) 249 00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:48,314 (groans) 250 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,608 I'm sorry you'll have to handle the kids alone. 251 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,109 (scoffs) I'm not worried. 252 00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:53,194 (yelps) 253 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,739 ♪ 254 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,326 KIF: I love you! 255 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,328 (engines sputtering) 256 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,080 (gears grinding) 257 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,665 (sniffling) 258 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,000 (Axl crying softly) 259 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,378 (Mandy crying) 260 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:13,714 (Newt crying loudly) 261 00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:16,717 (Amy wailing) 262 00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:20,554 (all sobbing) 263 00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:24,141 (out-of-tune shofar playing) 264 00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:26,018 Roll call! 265 00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:29,480 "Four eyes." "One-eye." "Crab man." 266 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,899 "Can man." "Who cares?" 267 00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,651 Dammit! Where's Amy? 268 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,653 What do I need, a bigger antler? 269 00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:38,364 - (door opens) - Oh, I'm so, so sorry. 270 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,032 The babysitter didn't show up. 271 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:41,951 - (phone ringing) - Ah! 272 00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,121 - Finally. Where are you? - Sorry, toots. 273 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,789 I must have the address wrong. 274 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,208 784 West 28th Street? 275 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,961 Uh-huh. Weird, th-that's what I got. 276 00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,754 Oh, Earth! Ah! 277 00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:56,424 Coulda swore you said Kepler 10B. 278 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:57,925 (wind blowing) 279 00:11:57,925 --> 00:12:01,554 Guess I'll catch the next generation ship back to Nutley. 280 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,389 Oh... 281 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,517 Mom, Mom, Mom! Can you judge our whispering contest? 282 00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:08,018 (whispers): Okay. You ready? 283 00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:11,063 - I lose! (laughing) - (Newt crying, Mandy yelling) 284 00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:12,398 Oh, come on! Oh-- 285 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:16,068 ♪ 286 00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,695 (burps, laughs) 287 00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:21,115 Look at me, chugging mineral water on a weeknight! 288 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:23,075 So wild and free! 289 00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:24,160 ♪ 290 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,244 (crying) 291 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,288 I miss them so. 292 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,206 I feel you, soldier. 293 00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:32,168 And not in a handsy way this time. 294 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,627 Mm. (smacking) 295 00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:35,087 Sticky... 296 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,048 Bring a bowl of these candies to my quarters 297 00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:39,425 when you're done crying. 298 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,593 (hair rips) 299 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,470 (kids laughing) 300 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:45,014 Thanks for offering to watch the kids, Leela. 301 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:48,100 I need a break so bad. You have no idea. 302 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:51,187 No, it's clear you're a wreck, and I get it. 303 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,230 - They're a nightmare. - (objects breaking) 304 00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:55,775 A-A sweet, adorable nightmare. 305 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,610 That's fair. Kids! 306 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,737 Mommy's gonna go nap-nap. 307 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,906 Don't be scared of Leela. She's very-- 308 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,657 - (Newt cheers) - MANDY: Yay! Mommy Leela! 309 00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:05,993 - Cowabunga, dude! - (kids giggling) 310 00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:09,121 ♪ 311 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:13,042 The Clump-O-Honeys you requested, Capt-- Oh jeez. 312 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,960 - (humming) - (Kif sighs) 313 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,797 - If there's nothing further, I will-- - Oh no, you willn't. 314 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:21,050 These delicious Clumps aren't for eating. Mm! 315 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,760 Mm... 316 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,845 They're for manscaping. 317 00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:27,431 Manscape me, Kif. That's an order. 318 00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:29,767 - (hair rips) - Owooga! 319 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,728 - NEWT: Ooh! - Whoa! What's that? 320 00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:34,605 I never saw one of those before, 321 00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:36,524 and I was born, like, four days ago. 322 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:39,568 It's a ship loader. Any hyperactive kids here 323 00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:42,947 - up for a nice, exhausting treadmill race? - (beep, whirring) 324 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:46,367 - Oh wow! Cool! I mean, cool. - (Newt and Mandy cheering) 325 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,369 God, I hope this works. 326 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,996 ♪ 327 00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:53,582 (snoring) 328 00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:54,667 (snorting) 329 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,837 (yawns, stretches) 330 00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:02,049 (kids laughing) 331 00:14:04,301 --> 00:14:08,430 (somber music) 332 00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,057 (sensors beeping) 333 00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:11,725 Approaching the outpost, sir. 334 00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:13,769 Still no response on any frequency. 335 00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:15,145 My God. 336 00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:16,730 What the hell happened down there? 337 00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:19,483 It looks like the whole planet has psoriasis. 338 00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:22,027 You're looking at the back of my head, sir. 339 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,029 (shudders) 340 00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:26,615 ♪ 341 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,078 (door whirring, clangs) 342 00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:36,417 Welcome to Exobiology Station 38. 343 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:37,918 (clicking) 344 00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:40,129 Dammit! I'm outta laser! 345 00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:43,215 Um, hello, sir. Is this outpost secure? 346 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:46,135 The DOOP hasn't received any response from you in months. 347 00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,637 Oh, yeah. Transmitter got ripped up by bears. 348 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:49,930 (fizzling) 349 00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:51,181 That's what we study here. Bears. 350 00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:52,391 I'm a bear biologist. 351 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,852 Sounds like a fun job that pays bad. 352 00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,562 I used to be a whale biologist, 353 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,314 but I hate whales. 354 00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,732 Hate them. 355 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:02,276 Well, then it's good you found an animal you like. 356 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,569 Nope. Still looking. 357 00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:05,821 - (bear growling, grunting) - This bear species 358 00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:06,906 is known as tardigrades. 359 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,408 It's a fancy word for ugly. 360 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:12,161 - (roaring) - Oh, shut up, you stupid bear! 361 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,704 They're also stupid, by the way. 362 00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,956 I discovered that. Bear biologist. 363 00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,793 ♪ 364 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,128 (clicking) 365 00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:23,130 - (zapping) - (shuddering) 366 00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:25,925 - (hissing) - I fixed the transmitter. 367 00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:29,428 Now, may I please head home to my family? 368 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,764 Without delay. But first, 369 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,223 candy break? 370 00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:36,435 (chomping loudly) 371 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,812 (dramatic music) 372 00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:40,648 Are you bat crackers? 373 00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:43,275 If they smell human food, they go bat crackers! 374 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,656 (tardigrades growling) 375 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:52,368 It seems they recognize a fellow apex predator. 376 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,828 Well, four can play at that game. 377 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,498 (confused grumbling) 378 00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,583 (screaming) 379 00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:02,294 Kif! Help! 380 00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:04,254 (Kif groans) 381 00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:05,798 - (birds chirping) - (Leela imitating horse) 382 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,509 - (kids laugh) - AXL: Let's go! Faster! Faster! 383 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:11,345 - Go, horseface, go! - (sighs) 384 00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:13,555 (panting) Neigh! 385 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:17,101 - Now, buy us ice cream! - (Leela sighs) 386 00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:20,187 ♪ 387 00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:24,274 Rum raisin tastes just like caterpillars! 388 00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:26,527 We love you, Leela. 389 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:29,697 Aw, hell no! You're not the mom of them! 390 00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:32,825 - What? - Are you done spoiling my kids rotten 391 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,576 so they'll love you more? 392 00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:36,745 I'm just a beaten-down horse. 393 00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:39,665 Well, you can trot back to the barn now! 394 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:42,918 Kif's coming home soon, and you are not their mom! 395 00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:45,587 Uh, actually, I sort of am. 396 00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:47,673 Go on! Git! Hyah! 397 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,511 (Zapp screaming) 398 00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:55,014 - (tardigrades growling quietly) - ZAPP: Oh God, they're nuzzling me! 399 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,807 (phone ringing, click) 400 00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:58,726 - Hello? - (crying) 401 00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:01,353 Please come home, Kiffy! 402 00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:03,480 The kids like Leela more than me, 403 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:04,773 and it really hurts. 404 00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:06,150 (sobbing) 405 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,902 I'm the worst mom ever. 406 00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:11,238 Except for my own mom. 407 00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:14,450 ZAPP: Stop licking my velour! It's dry clean only! 408 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,994 Amy, darling, the children love you. 409 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,579 And I love you. 410 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:21,165 ZAPP: And stay away from my scrotums! 411 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:24,293 You're their mother, and you always will be. 412 00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:26,045 Nothing can change that. 413 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,129 (dramatic sting) 414 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:29,798 Amy Wong, a challenge has been filed 415 00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:32,176 for the motherhood of these children. 416 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:34,928 - No... - (static) 417 00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:36,889 (breaking up): Amy? Amy, I'm coming home, I swear. 418 00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:41,143 I have to leave right now, sir! 419 00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:44,480 ZAPP: No, Kif! The DOOP never leaves a man behind! 420 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,898 Not when I'm the man! 421 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,024 (groans) 422 00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:49,359 (dramatic music) 423 00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:55,449 Alright, bears. Daddy's coming to tuck you in... 424 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:56,533 (shotgun cocks) 425 00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:58,202 ...to your graves. 426 00:17:58,202 --> 00:17:59,995 (panting) 427 00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:01,413 (music crescendos) 428 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:02,915 I'll be out here. 429 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,627 {\an8}♪ 430 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,629 Nobody's taking my babies! 431 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,297 They're everything to me! 432 00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:13,300 I appreciate your emotional shouting in my ear hole, 433 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:14,551 but I must intervene 434 00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,762 whenever parenthood is called into question. 435 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,306 Grand Midwife? 436 00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:21,809 Oh, drop the surprised act, Leela. 437 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:24,186 - How could you do this? - Do what? 438 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:27,022 Suck the jelly out of the jelly donuts with a straw? 439 00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:29,024 This jelly hound did not summon me. 440 00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:30,275 The challenge is automatic 441 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:31,944 when tests show the smizmar 442 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,821 contributed no DNA. 443 00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,864 {\an8}- (beep) - The children inherited genes 444 00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:37,699 {\an8}only from Kif and Leela, 445 00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:40,577 {\an8}plus trace DNA from a certain Scruffy. 446 00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:43,580 - (creaking) - Scruffy's stuff gets around. 447 00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:45,165 (sniffles, groans) 448 00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:48,043 Should the challenge indicate someone else is the mother, 449 00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:49,294 then that person... 450 00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:51,463 eh, or whatever... 451 00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:52,965 shall raise the children. 452 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,299 But... But... 453 00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:56,176 You and Kif must be present 454 00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:58,303 for the challenge tomorrow. Good day. 455 00:18:58,303 --> 00:18:59,763 (music crescendos) 456 00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:00,931 Yeah, FYI, 457 00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:02,683 y-you've got a little jelly right there. 458 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:04,226 (door hisses) 459 00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:07,229 (tardigrades sniffing, grumbling) 460 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,148 ♪ 461 00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,984 Did somebody call an exterminator? 462 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,777 ♪ 463 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,114 (growling) 464 00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:18,824 (zapping, poofing) 465 00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,911 - It's been a blast. - ZAPP: Help me, Kif! 466 00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:25,831 They found the secret candy in my girdle! 467 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,291 (grunting) 468 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:28,375 ♪ 469 00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:30,502 (sniffing, growling) 470 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:36,216 KIF: I'm a camouflaged killing machine. 471 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,012 (crying) 472 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,221 I'm... 473 00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:44,183 I'm sorry I got so jealous, Leela. 474 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:47,227 - I just kinda lost it. - It's okay. 475 00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:50,522 The bond parents feel with their kids is intense... 476 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:51,815 so I hear. 477 00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,400 - (video game beeping) - I'm just proud I helped 478 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,526 you become a mom. 479 00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:55,652 (sniffling) 480 00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,946 (crying) 481 00:19:57,946 --> 00:20:00,073 I hope it works out for you tomorrow. 482 00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:01,742 And if it doesn't, 483 00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:05,245 (sniffles) I'm sure you'll take good care of them. 484 00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:07,581 (wailing) 485 00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:09,708 (sucking) 486 00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:12,502 I refuse to die groveling. 487 00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:14,129 But I'm open to sniveling. 488 00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:15,214 (sniveling) 489 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,299 ♪ 490 00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:21,803 - (stabbing) - (tardigrades grunting) 491 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,974 Naked Kif, 492 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,392 you saved my life! 493 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:29,353 You have my undying loyalty. 494 00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,604 (tardigrades growling) 495 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:31,980 Eat Kif! He's boneless! 496 00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:33,941 (sniveling) 497 00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:35,692 (tardigrades roaring) 498 00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,236 ♪ 499 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,363 This one's for Axl, Mandy, 500 00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:40,948 and little what's-his-name. 501 00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:42,032 (gun cocks) 502 00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:45,452 (soft, high growling) 503 00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,955 ♪ 504 00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:54,461 (tardigrades growl) 505 00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:57,339 (shotgun cocks) 506 00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:58,465 (panting) 507 00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:00,175 (zapping) 508 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:01,260 (yelps) 509 00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:03,804 ♪ 510 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:07,432 I am the Grand Midwife from the other day, 511 00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:10,811 inquisitor for the challenge of Amy Wong. 512 00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,272 Amy, where is your smizmale? 513 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,898 He isn't with me. 514 00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:18,777 Oh, the sorrow! Oh, the shame! 515 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:20,237 There he is! 516 00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,197 (helicopter whirring) 517 00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:24,574 Okay, but it doesn't lessen the shame. 518 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:27,577 - Kif! - Amy! 519 00:21:27,577 --> 00:21:29,162 MANDY/AXL: Daddy! 520 00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:32,165 I don't remember him. 521 00:21:32,165 --> 00:21:34,293 So, like, did you do war stuff? 522 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:37,087 I did what a Daddy had to do. 523 00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,171 ♪ 524 00:21:38,171 --> 00:21:41,008 (baby tardigrades growl) 525 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:43,135 (shotgun cocks) 526 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,846 Bear number 23 was also stupid, 527 00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:49,141 fighting for scraps while I dined on salmon tartare. 528 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,143 (mocking chewing) 529 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,562 None for you, losers! (laughs) 530 00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:55,731 (yelps) 531 00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,442 Oh! 532 00:21:58,442 --> 00:21:59,860 (splat) 533 00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:01,945 (tardigrades growl) 534 00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:04,740 (dramatic music) 535 00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:08,410 The challenge may play out over days or weeks 536 00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:11,788 within the brutal confines of the Inquisidome. 537 00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:13,623 Some call it a tiki hut. 538 00:22:13,832 --> 00:22:16,835 Leela's gonna watch you guys while we're in there. 539 00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:17,961 (sniffles) 540 00:22:17,961 --> 00:22:20,088 And maybe a little longer. 541 00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:22,299 But whatever happens, 542 00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:24,384 you're going to be okay. 543 00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:25,719 (sniffles) 544 00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:27,471 You are, too. 545 00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:30,474 (bubbling) 546 00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:33,560 ♪ 547 00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:40,984 The challenge is a challenging challenge, 548 00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:43,987 dating from when our language had few words. 549 00:22:43,987 --> 00:22:46,782 It will incorporate a battery of genetic tests 550 00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:49,785 and a full neuropsychological obstacle course, 551 00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:52,788 but it begins with a simple question. 552 00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:54,039 Amy Wong. 553 00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:57,626 Do you or do you not love those children? 554 00:22:57,626 --> 00:23:00,712 ♪ 555 00:23:01,588 --> 00:23:04,633 More than I knew I could love anything. 556 00:23:05,842 --> 00:23:08,095 Which is all that truly matters. 557 00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:10,639 The challenge is over. 558 00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:12,224 You are their mother 559 00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,851 and always will be. 560 00:23:14,851 --> 00:23:15,936 (gasps) 561 00:23:17,646 --> 00:23:19,648 (creaking, cracking) 562 00:23:20,607 --> 00:23:22,484 Oops! That wasn't supposed to happen. 563 00:23:22,484 --> 00:23:24,319 Cheap, lousy wall. 564 00:23:24,319 --> 00:23:27,948 Children! You may now come hug your mother and father. 565 00:23:27,948 --> 00:23:30,117 For only a small additional fee. 566 00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:33,703 (kids laughing) 567 00:23:33,703 --> 00:23:36,415 You're my favorite mommy. 568 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,959 ♪ 569 00:23:38,959 --> 00:23:40,794 - (cork pops) - (sniffles) 570 00:23:40,794 --> 00:23:42,504 Who wants treacle? 571 00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:45,257 (cooing) 572 00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:47,300 Strong stuff, huh? 573 00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:48,427 (Leela sniffles) 574 00:23:49,177 --> 00:23:50,178 (clink) 575 00:23:50,178 --> 00:23:53,265 (Newt cooing) 576 00:23:57,352 --> 00:24:00,355 ♪