1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,004
(dramatic music)
2
00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:11,511
{\an8}(theme song playing)
3
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:40,081
♪
4
00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:42,083
(sighs)
5
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,420
(sighs, sucking)
6
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,547
{\an8}Aw. He's using his jacket
7
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,591
{\an8}as some kind of security blanket.
8
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,426
{\an8}That's so cute and pathetic.
9
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:54,721
{\an8}It really is. You do you, weirdo!
10
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,265
{\an8}Oh, hey, guys.
I'm just sucking on my jacket.
11
00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:59,642
{\an8}A Clump-O-Honey candy
got stuck right there
12
00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:02,395
{\an8}over a thousand years ago,
and I can still taste it.
13
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,814
You know who I bet
would like some of that?
14
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Me! Zoidberg.
15
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,026
(slurping)
16
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:10,361
Oh, no! (slurping)
17
00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:12,322
Zoidberg, you residue hog!
18
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,532
Now all I taste is crab juice.
19
00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:16,743
So, buy another jacket candy.
20
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,787
{\an8}I can't. They stopped making it
21
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:21,915
{\an8}after it got reclassified
as industrial glue.
22
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:25,293
{\an8}Ah. Then I, Bender,
will recreate the recipe.
23
00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:28,379
{\an8}Don't forget, I came in third
on MasterChef Junior.
24
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,007
{\an8}(bubbling)
25
00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:32,383
{\an8}(squirting)
26
00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,385
{\an8}May I have a taste?
27
00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:37,180
{\an8}Sure. You seem like the kind
of guy who has a mouth.
28
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,515
{\an8}(slurps, smacking)
29
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:41,684
{\an8}Whoa! Diabetic coma!
30
00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:44,687
{\an8}Hm. I better add some sugar
to make it less sweet.
31
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,942
{\an8}And just a touch of treacle
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00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:52,070
to remind me of my dear
departed Aunt Juanita.
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00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:54,614
(sniffles) She drowned in treacle.
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00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:57,617
You know I'm dying on the floor.
35
00:01:57,617 --> 00:02:00,120
(Bender humming)
36
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,123
- (excited murmuring)
- FRY: Mm. Yum.
37
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,500
- So, what do you think?
- (Fry smacking)
38
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:08,837
Mm! It's perfect, Bender.
Totally jacket worthy.
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00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,005
(smacking) It's a little sticky.
40
00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:12,799
(muffled): It's a lot sticky!
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00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,467
(muffled groaning)
42
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:17,303
(smack) And there's something hard in it.
43
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:18,388
(dramatic sting)
44
00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,973
- (gasps)
- (Bender yelps)
45
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:23,560
Luckily, I'm an expert
at fixing human beak bones.
46
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,312
Are you free Friday
for an expensive appointment?
47
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,898
Let me check. Open calendar!
48
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,610
Shmeird. There's some old alert
49
00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,863
I set up 20 years ago.
50
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,115
{\an8}(gasps) Our babies?!
51
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:40,118
It's time, my love.
52
00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:41,911
Oh, Kif!
53
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:43,580
The hell are you talking about?
54
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,915
Something to do
with the meatbag life cycle?
55
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:48,001
That's right, Bender. Many years ago,
56
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,420
I gave birth to a clutch of tadpoles
57
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,213
with Amy by my side.
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00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:54,674
I have video of the birth. Wanna see it?
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00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:55,842
ALL: No!
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00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,344
That is the wrong kind of delivery!
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00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:03,016
- Oh, Nelly! Oh!
- (squishing)
62
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,810
- (screaming, groaning)
- (splattering)
63
00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:07,520
(crew groans)
64
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,397
Life is disgusting.
65
00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:11,399
No, it was beautiful.
66
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:13,902
But I was so not prepared to be a mother.
67
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,904
In 20 years, they'll sprout legs
68
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,865
and crawl back onto land as children.
69
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,618
I'll be ready then.
70
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:25,121
Well, Amy, are you ready now?
71
00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:26,998
Having a family with you
72
00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:30,376
is the only thing
I want in the whole world.
73
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:32,712
- BENDER: Then can I have your car?
- No!
74
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,464
Too late. I already crashed it.
75
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,882
{\an8}(zooming)
76
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,468
{\an8}♪
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00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,638
(creatures chirping)
78
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,014
Oh, this is so exciting!
79
00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:45,475
The birth ceremony will begin any minute.
80
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,518
Thanks for the warning.
81
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,563
- And don't describe it to me!
- (car doors open)
82
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,982
- INEZ: We're here!
- Mom! Dad!
83
00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:55,193
Oh, I'm so glad you made it!
84
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:58,029
Oh, we wouldn't miss the birth
of our grandbabies
85
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,656
for a million dollars.
86
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,824
'Cause we're so rich, that's like a penny.
87
00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:04,827
- (bubbling, gurgling)
- (Kif sputtering)
88
00:04:04,827 --> 00:04:07,455
Oh, my. It's the Grand Midwife.
89
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,999
I am the Grand Midwife!
90
00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:11,668
Big fan!
91
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,962
I am Kif of the clan Kroker.
92
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:16,297
I know. I recognize your head.
93
00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:18,383
And this is my smizmar, Amy.
94
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,843
We have come to receive our offspring.
95
00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:23,137
As you transition to parenthood,
96
00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:25,765
I shall be your counsel and guide.
97
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:29,102
I do so out of solemn respect
for our traditions
98
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,646
and not for any optional cash donation
99
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,731
people sometimes place in that basket.
100
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:35,066
- Thank you.
- It's green,
101
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,359
and there's a little sign on it.
102
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:37,443
Found it!
103
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,782
Then the Emergence shall now commence!
104
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:45,326
(excited chattering)
105
00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:46,995
(chirping)
106
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,580
Or not. It's unpredictable.
107
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:52,625
Guess I'll have to wing it.
Anybody here from out of town?
108
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,585
- (splashing)
- O-oh! Here they come.
109
00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:57,922
♪
110
00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:01,009
(bubbling, gurgling)
111
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,970
Oh my. I'm so anxious,
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00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,097
my camouflage reflex is kicking in.
113
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,598
No, it's helpful.
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00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:10,101
I wanna look cute
for our hundreds of kids.
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00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:11,686
♪
116
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:15,064
We shall now stand by,
without interfering,
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00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:18,192
as we observe the sacred process
known as...
118
00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:19,610
the Winnowing.
119
00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,029
What's that mean?
120
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,114
It means don't start naming them yet.
121
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:24,282
(cawing)
122
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,284
♪
123
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,328
(all gasp)
124
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:31,831
(squawks)
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00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,167
(chomp)
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00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:40,089
♪
127
00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:41,591
Four of them made it!
128
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,009
(snarling, crunching)
129
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,635
Well, three and a half.
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00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:47,180
Young creatures of the Black Lagoon,
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go now to your parents.
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00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:52,727
(squishy footsteps)
133
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,562
Uh, can I help you?
134
00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:55,897
Over here!
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00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:02,153
(gasps) They're perfect.
136
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,280
Ew. She's touching them.
137
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:07,283
Cherish these children, Kif and Amy,
138
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:09,535
for they are beautiful.
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00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:12,497
BENDER: Eh...
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00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:13,956
Well, in-in the sense that
141
00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:15,458
all children are beautiful.
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00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:18,669
(understanding chatter)
143
00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:22,340
♪
144
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:24,050
(squishing)
145
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,220
The transformation is complete!
146
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:30,765
We welcome these new beings of the land.
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00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,475
(cheering, applause)
148
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,977
They can call me Captain Uncle.
149
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:38,314
Uh, I'll go dispose of this medical waste.
150
00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,775
With a little butter and lemon.
151
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,528
- Want a picture with the kids?
- No need.
152
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,696
The way they look is burned into my mind.
153
00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:48,408
They're nice, you know?
Just a kinda little--
154
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,700
Super gross.
155
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:52,286
But, you're finally grandparents.
156
00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:54,163
That'll be our little secret.
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00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:58,167
{\an8}- (car door opens, shuts)
- (engine starts, whirring)
158
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:03,089
♪
159
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,884
{\an8}PROFESSOR: Oh my.
160
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,597
Thanks for bringing the kids by
for my lunch break.
161
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:13,850
They're the sweetest thing on the menu.
162
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:14,934
BENDER: Not even close!
163
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,854
Uh, question.
164
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,940
These three babies
are totally different sizes.
165
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:22,775
Question mark.
166
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,111
Oh, well, they grew at varying rates
167
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,697
depending on the temperature
of the water they were in.
168
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,992
Little Newt here was in a cold, deep area.
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00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,244
- Mama!
- Wrong again.
170
00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:34,454
(Newt cooing)
171
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:37,081
Mandy is from the temperate middle depths.
172
00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:38,666
He's shrively!
173
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:41,043
(laughs) You haven't seen the half of it.
174
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:43,254
And Axl is from the warm shallows,
175
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,089
just like his old man.
176
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:47,967
(groans) Do you always
have to talk about me?
177
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:50,428
So why does this one keep calling me Mama?
178
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,180
And what's with the big weird eye?
179
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,474
It's not weird. It looks like yours.
180
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,808
(whispers): It's pretty weird.
181
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,310
Why would he look like me?
182
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,769
Don't you remember?
183
00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:01,481
Twenty years ago, you impregnated Kif.
184
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,816
Seriously? Oh, my God.
185
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,610
I must have been super drunk.
186
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:08,988
Leela, you bone brain!
You didn't have sex.
187
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,990
(laughs) Bone.
188
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,409
Luckily, there's an educational movie
189
00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:16,954
that explains how
Kif's species reproduces.
190
00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,706
And it's filthy.
191
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:21,876
NARRATOR: YowzaVision Educational Films
192
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:25,379
presents Sex Across The Universe.
193
00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:28,216
BENDER: Oh, yeah! Educate me, baby.
194
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:30,551
NARRATOR: This week, the Amphibiosans.
195
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,763
For every organism across the universe,
196
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:37,433
reproduction is a steamy, erotic process.
197
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:40,019
Except the Amphibiosans.
198
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,230
They just barely touch hands
199
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,941
while the rest of us are gettin' it on.
200
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,068
- Yowza.
- (hologram ends)
201
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,486
BENDER: Eh, that was pretty hot.
202
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:51,113
So, you see, Amy was my smizmar,
203
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:54,700
the one whose mere presence
made me receptive to pregnancy.
204
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,787
Which makes me their smizmama.
205
00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:01,082
But it was Lila who contributed the DNA
206
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:04,126
when she accidentally touched Kif's hand.
207
00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:06,003
Are you sure I wasn't drunk?
208
00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:08,589
I-I mean, I'm drunk now. (gulping)
209
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:10,091
Mwah!
210
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:11,759
Ew! Mom, Dad!
211
00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:13,594
- (burps)
- AXL: Leela!
212
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:17,515
♪ Will you stay in our lovers' story? ♪
213
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:21,018
♪ If you stay, you won't be sorry ♪
214
00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:23,437
♪ 'Cause we believe in you ♪
215
00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:25,022
(crying)
216
00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:28,734
♪ Soon you'll grow, so take a chance ♪
217
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:33,531
♪ With a couple of kooks
hung up on romancing ♪
218
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:38,035
♪ Will you stay in our lovers' story? ♪
219
00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:41,622
♪ If you stay, you won't be sorry ♪
220
00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:43,541
♪ 'Cause we believe in you ♪
221
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,167
(quacking)
222
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:48,588
♪ Soon, you'll grow, so take a chance ♪
223
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,715
{\an8}♪ With a couple of kooks ♪
224
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:53,634
♪ Hung up on romancing ♪
225
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,094
(cooing)
226
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,554
(giggling)
227
00:09:57,471 --> 00:10:00,099
Let's reinflate my head and go home.
228
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:04,061
Yeah. Maybe they'll conk out
and we'll get a little us time.
229
00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:07,607
- (kids laughing)
- (Kif gasping)
230
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,859
- (laughing)
- (splattering)
231
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,986
(sighs) Those little guys are the best,
232
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,529
but they're a lot.
233
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,532
Well, luckily, there's
two of us to split the work.
234
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:19,744
♪ Doop, doo-doo-doop,
doop, doop, doop, doop! ♪
235
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,912
Captain Brannigan! At your service, sir.
236
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:23,122
With ease, Lieutenant.
237
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,291
I have a bit of news to say at you.
238
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,667
Is it about the baby gifts
239
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,252
you claim you sent?
Because we still haven't--
240
00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:30,004
I'm afraid there's no time to discuss
241
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:32,798
the many presents I bought,
some of which are large.
242
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:35,051
Soldier, you are ordered
to report for duty.
243
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,218
(Amy gasps)
244
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:39,513
- Is it war?
- I hope so, but we're not sure.
245
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:42,308
All we know is that DOOP
has lost radio contact
246
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,810
with a remote outpost in Ursa Major.
247
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:45,895
Over and under.
248
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:46,979
- (beep)
- (clattering)
249
00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:48,314
(groans)
250
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,608
I'm sorry you'll have
to handle the kids alone.
251
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,109
(scoffs) I'm not worried.
252
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:53,194
(yelps)
253
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,739
♪
254
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,326
KIF: I love you!
255
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,328
(engines sputtering)
256
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,080
(gears grinding)
257
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,665
(sniffling)
258
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,000
(Axl crying softly)
259
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,378
(Mandy crying)
260
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:13,714
(Newt crying loudly)
261
00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:16,717
(Amy wailing)
262
00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:20,554
(all sobbing)
263
00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:24,141
(out-of-tune shofar playing)
264
00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:26,018
Roll call!
265
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:29,480
"Four eyes." "One-eye." "Crab man."
266
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,899
"Can man." "Who cares?"
267
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,651
Dammit! Where's Amy?
268
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,653
What do I need, a bigger antler?
269
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:38,364
- (door opens)
- Oh, I'm so, so sorry.
270
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,032
The babysitter didn't show up.
271
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:41,951
- (phone ringing)
- Ah!
272
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,121
- Finally. Where are you?
- Sorry, toots.
273
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,789
I must have the address wrong.
274
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,208
784 West 28th Street?
275
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,961
Uh-huh. Weird, th-that's what I got.
276
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,754
Oh, Earth! Ah!
277
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:56,424
Coulda swore you said Kepler 10B.
278
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:57,925
(wind blowing)
279
00:11:57,925 --> 00:12:01,554
Guess I'll catch the next
generation ship back to Nutley.
280
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,389
Oh...
281
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,517
Mom, Mom, Mom! Can you judge
our whispering contest?
282
00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:08,018
(whispers): Okay. You ready?
283
00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:11,063
- I lose! (laughing)
- (Newt crying, Mandy yelling)
284
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:12,398
Oh, come on! Oh--
285
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:16,068
♪
286
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,695
(burps, laughs)
287
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:21,115
Look at me, chugging
mineral water on a weeknight!
288
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:23,075
So wild and free!
289
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:24,160
♪
290
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,244
(crying)
291
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,288
I miss them so.
292
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,206
I feel you, soldier.
293
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:32,168
And not in a handsy way this time.
294
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,627
Mm. (smacking)
295
00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:35,087
Sticky...
296
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,048
Bring a bowl of these candies
to my quarters
297
00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:39,425
when you're done crying.
298
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,593
(hair rips)
299
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,470
(kids laughing)
300
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:45,014
Thanks for offering
to watch the kids, Leela.
301
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:48,100
I need a break so bad. You have no idea.
302
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:51,187
No, it's clear you're a wreck,
and I get it.
303
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,230
- They're a nightmare.
- (objects breaking)
304
00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:55,775
A-A sweet, adorable nightmare.
305
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,610
That's fair. Kids!
306
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,737
Mommy's gonna go nap-nap.
307
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,906
Don't be scared of Leela. She's very--
308
00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,657
- (Newt cheers)
- MANDY: Yay! Mommy Leela!
309
00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:05,993
- Cowabunga, dude!
- (kids giggling)
310
00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:09,121
♪
311
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:13,042
The Clump-O-Honeys
you requested, Capt-- Oh jeez.
312
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,960
- (humming)
- (Kif sighs)
313
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,797
- If there's nothing further, I will--
- Oh no, you willn't.
314
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:21,050
These delicious Clumps
aren't for eating. Mm!
315
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,760
Mm...
316
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,845
They're for manscaping.
317
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:27,431
Manscape me, Kif. That's an order.
318
00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:29,767
- (hair rips)
- Owooga!
319
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,728
- NEWT: Ooh!
- Whoa! What's that?
320
00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:34,605
I never saw one of those before,
321
00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:36,524
and I was born, like, four days ago.
322
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:39,568
It's a ship loader.
Any hyperactive kids here
323
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:42,947
- up for a nice, exhausting treadmill race?
- (beep, whirring)
324
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:46,367
- Oh wow! Cool! I mean, cool.
- (Newt and Mandy cheering)
325
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,369
God, I hope this works.
326
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,996
♪
327
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:53,582
(snoring)
328
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:54,667
(snorting)
329
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,837
(yawns, stretches)
330
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:02,049
(kids laughing)
331
00:14:04,301 --> 00:14:08,430
(somber music)
332
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,057
(sensors beeping)
333
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:11,725
Approaching the outpost, sir.
334
00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:13,769
Still no response on any frequency.
335
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:15,145
My God.
336
00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:16,730
What the hell happened down there?
337
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:19,483
It looks like the whole planet
has psoriasis.
338
00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:22,027
You're looking at the back
of my head, sir.
339
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,029
(shudders)
340
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:26,615
♪
341
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,078
(door whirring, clangs)
342
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:36,417
Welcome to Exobiology Station 38.
343
00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:37,918
(clicking)
344
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:40,129
Dammit! I'm outta laser!
345
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:43,215
Um, hello, sir. Is this outpost secure?
346
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:46,135
The DOOP hasn't received
any response from you in months.
347
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,637
Oh, yeah. Transmitter got
ripped up by bears.
348
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:49,930
(fizzling)
349
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:51,181
That's what we study here. Bears.
350
00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:52,391
I'm a bear biologist.
351
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,852
Sounds like a fun job that pays bad.
352
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,562
I used to be a whale biologist,
353
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,314
but I hate whales.
354
00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,732
Hate them.
355
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:02,276
Well, then it's good you found
an animal you like.
356
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,569
Nope. Still looking.
357
00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:05,821
- (bear growling, grunting)
- This bear species
358
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:06,906
is known as tardigrades.
359
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,408
It's a fancy word for ugly.
360
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:12,161
- (roaring)
- Oh, shut up, you stupid bear!
361
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,704
They're also stupid, by the way.
362
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,956
I discovered that. Bear biologist.
363
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,793
♪
364
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,128
(clicking)
365
00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:23,130
- (zapping)
- (shuddering)
366
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:25,925
- (hissing)
- I fixed the transmitter.
367
00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:29,428
Now, may I please head home to my family?
368
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,764
Without delay. But first,
369
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,223
candy break?
370
00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:36,435
(chomping loudly)
371
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,812
(dramatic music)
372
00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:40,648
Are you bat crackers?
373
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:43,275
If they smell human food,
they go bat crackers!
374
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,656
(tardigrades growling)
375
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:52,368
It seems they recognize
a fellow apex predator.
376
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,828
Well, four can play at that game.
377
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,498
(confused grumbling)
378
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,583
(screaming)
379
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:02,294
Kif! Help!
380
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:04,254
(Kif groans)
381
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:05,798
- (birds chirping)
- (Leela imitating horse)
382
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,509
- (kids laugh)
- AXL: Let's go! Faster! Faster!
383
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:11,345
- Go, horseface, go!
- (sighs)
384
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:13,555
(panting) Neigh!
385
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:17,101
- Now, buy us ice cream!
- (Leela sighs)
386
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:20,187
♪
387
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:24,274
Rum raisin tastes just like caterpillars!
388
00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:26,527
We love you, Leela.
389
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:29,697
Aw, hell no! You're not the mom of them!
390
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:32,825
- What?
- Are you done spoiling my kids rotten
391
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,576
so they'll love you more?
392
00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:36,745
I'm just a beaten-down horse.
393
00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:39,665
Well, you can trot back to the barn now!
394
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:42,918
Kif's coming home soon,
and you are not their mom!
395
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:45,587
Uh, actually, I sort of am.
396
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:47,673
Go on! Git! Hyah!
397
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,511
(Zapp screaming)
398
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:55,014
- (tardigrades growling quietly)
- ZAPP: Oh God, they're nuzzling me!
399
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,807
(phone ringing, click)
400
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:58,726
- Hello?
- (crying)
401
00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:01,353
Please come home, Kiffy!
402
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:03,480
The kids like Leela more than me,
403
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:04,773
and it really hurts.
404
00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:06,150
(sobbing)
405
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,902
I'm the worst mom ever.
406
00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:11,238
Except for my own mom.
407
00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:14,450
ZAPP: Stop licking my velour!
It's dry clean only!
408
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,994
Amy, darling, the children love you.
409
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,579
And I love you.
410
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:21,165
ZAPP: And stay away from my scrotums!
411
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:24,293
You're their mother,
and you always will be.
412
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:26,045
Nothing can change that.
413
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,129
(dramatic sting)
414
00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:29,798
Amy Wong, a challenge has been filed
415
00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:32,176
for the motherhood of these children.
416
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:34,928
- No...
- (static)
417
00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:36,889
(breaking up): Amy?
Amy, I'm coming home, I swear.
418
00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:41,143
I have to leave right now, sir!
419
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:44,480
ZAPP: No, Kif! The DOOP
never leaves a man behind!
420
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,898
Not when I'm the man!
421
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,024
(groans)
422
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:49,359
(dramatic music)
423
00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:55,449
Alright, bears.
Daddy's coming to tuck you in...
424
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:56,533
(shotgun cocks)
425
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:58,202
...to your graves.
426
00:17:58,202 --> 00:17:59,995
(panting)
427
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:01,413
(music crescendos)
428
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:02,915
I'll be out here.
429
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,627
{\an8}♪
430
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,629
Nobody's taking my babies!
431
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,297
They're everything to me!
432
00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:13,300
I appreciate your emotional
shouting in my ear hole,
433
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:14,551
but I must intervene
434
00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,762
whenever parenthood
is called into question.
435
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,306
Grand Midwife?
436
00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:21,809
Oh, drop the surprised act, Leela.
437
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:24,186
- How could you do this?
- Do what?
438
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:27,022
Suck the jelly out of
the jelly donuts with a straw?
439
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:29,024
This jelly hound did not summon me.
440
00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:30,275
The challenge is automatic
441
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:31,944
when tests show the smizmar
442
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,821
contributed no DNA.
443
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,864
{\an8}- (beep)
- The children inherited genes
444
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:37,699
{\an8}only from Kif and Leela,
445
00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:40,577
{\an8}plus trace DNA from a certain Scruffy.
446
00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:43,580
- (creaking)
- Scruffy's stuff gets around.
447
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:45,165
(sniffles, groans)
448
00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:48,043
Should the challenge indicate
someone else is the mother,
449
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:49,294
then that person...
450
00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:51,463
eh, or whatever...
451
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:52,965
shall raise the children.
452
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,299
But... But...
453
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:56,176
You and Kif must be present
454
00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:58,303
for the challenge tomorrow. Good day.
455
00:18:58,303 --> 00:18:59,763
(music crescendos)
456
00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:00,931
Yeah, FYI,
457
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:02,683
y-you've got a little jelly right there.
458
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:04,226
(door hisses)
459
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:07,229
(tardigrades sniffing, grumbling)
460
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,148
♪
461
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,984
Did somebody call an exterminator?
462
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,777
♪
463
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,114
(growling)
464
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:18,824
(zapping, poofing)
465
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,911
- It's been a blast.
- ZAPP: Help me, Kif!
466
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:25,831
They found the secret candy in my girdle!
467
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,291
(grunting)
468
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:28,375
♪
469
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:30,502
(sniffing, growling)
470
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:36,216
KIF: I'm a camouflaged killing machine.
471
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,012
(crying)
472
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,221
I'm...
473
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:44,183
I'm sorry I got so jealous, Leela.
474
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:47,227
- I just kinda lost it.
- It's okay.
475
00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:50,522
The bond parents feel
with their kids is intense...
476
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:51,815
so I hear.
477
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,400
- (video game beeping)
- I'm just proud I helped
478
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,526
you become a mom.
479
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:55,652
(sniffling)
480
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,946
(crying)
481
00:19:57,946 --> 00:20:00,073
I hope it works out for you tomorrow.
482
00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:01,742
And if it doesn't,
483
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:05,245
(sniffles) I'm sure
you'll take good care of them.
484
00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:07,581
(wailing)
485
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:09,708
(sucking)
486
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:12,502
I refuse to die groveling.
487
00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:14,129
But I'm open to sniveling.
488
00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:15,214
(sniveling)
489
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,299
♪
490
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:21,803
- (stabbing)
- (tardigrades grunting)
491
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,974
Naked Kif,
492
00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,392
you saved my life!
493
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:29,353
You have my undying loyalty.
494
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,604
(tardigrades growling)
495
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:31,980
Eat Kif! He's boneless!
496
00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:33,941
(sniveling)
497
00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:35,692
(tardigrades roaring)
498
00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,236
♪
499
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,363
This one's for Axl, Mandy,
500
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:40,948
and little what's-his-name.
501
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:42,032
(gun cocks)
502
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:45,452
(soft, high growling)
503
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,955
♪
504
00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:54,461
(tardigrades growl)
505
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:57,339
(shotgun cocks)
506
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:58,465
(panting)
507
00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:00,175
(zapping)
508
00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:01,260
(yelps)
509
00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:03,804
♪
510
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:07,432
I am the Grand Midwife from the other day,
511
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:10,811
inquisitor for the challenge of Amy Wong.
512
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,272
Amy, where is your smizmale?
513
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,898
He isn't with me.
514
00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:18,777
Oh, the sorrow! Oh, the shame!
515
00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:20,237
There he is!
516
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,197
(helicopter whirring)
517
00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:24,574
Okay, but it doesn't lessen the shame.
518
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:27,577
- Kif!
- Amy!
519
00:21:27,577 --> 00:21:29,162
MANDY/AXL: Daddy!
520
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:32,165
I don't remember him.
521
00:21:32,165 --> 00:21:34,293
So, like, did you do war stuff?
522
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:37,087
I did what a Daddy had to do.
523
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,171
♪
524
00:21:38,171 --> 00:21:41,008
(baby tardigrades growl)
525
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:43,135
(shotgun cocks)
526
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,846
Bear number 23 was also stupid,
527
00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:49,141
fighting for scraps
while I dined on salmon tartare.
528
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,143
(mocking chewing)
529
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,562
None for you, losers! (laughs)
530
00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:55,731
(yelps)
531
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,442
Oh!
532
00:21:58,442 --> 00:21:59,860
(splat)
533
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:01,945
(tardigrades growl)
534
00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:04,740
(dramatic music)
535
00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:08,410
The challenge may play out
over days or weeks
536
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:11,788
within the brutal confines
of the Inquisidome.
537
00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:13,623
Some call it a tiki hut.
538
00:22:13,832 --> 00:22:16,835
Leela's gonna watch you guys
while we're in there.
539
00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:17,961
(sniffles)
540
00:22:17,961 --> 00:22:20,088
And maybe a little longer.
541
00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:22,299
But whatever happens,
542
00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:24,384
you're going to be okay.
543
00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:25,719
(sniffles)
544
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:27,471
You are, too.
545
00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:30,474
(bubbling)
546
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:33,560
♪
547
00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:40,984
The challenge is a challenging challenge,
548
00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:43,987
dating from when our language
had few words.
549
00:22:43,987 --> 00:22:46,782
It will incorporate
a battery of genetic tests
550
00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:49,785
and a full neuropsychological
obstacle course,
551
00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:52,788
but it begins with a simple question.
552
00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:54,039
Amy Wong.
553
00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:57,626
Do you or do you not love those children?
554
00:22:57,626 --> 00:23:00,712
♪
555
00:23:01,588 --> 00:23:04,633
More than I knew I could love anything.
556
00:23:05,842 --> 00:23:08,095
Which is all that truly matters.
557
00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:10,639
The challenge is over.
558
00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:12,224
You are their mother
559
00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,851
and always will be.
560
00:23:14,851 --> 00:23:15,936
(gasps)
561
00:23:17,646 --> 00:23:19,648
(creaking, cracking)
562
00:23:20,607 --> 00:23:22,484
Oops! That wasn't supposed to happen.
563
00:23:22,484 --> 00:23:24,319
Cheap, lousy wall.
564
00:23:24,319 --> 00:23:27,948
Children! You may now come hug
your mother and father.
565
00:23:27,948 --> 00:23:30,117
For only a small additional fee.
566
00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:33,703
(kids laughing)
567
00:23:33,703 --> 00:23:36,415
You're my favorite mommy.
568
00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,959
♪
569
00:23:38,959 --> 00:23:40,794
- (cork pops)
- (sniffles)
570
00:23:40,794 --> 00:23:42,504
Who wants treacle?
571
00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:45,257
(cooing)
572
00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:47,300
Strong stuff, huh?
573
00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:48,427
(Leela sniffles)
574
00:23:49,177 --> 00:23:50,178
(clink)
575
00:23:50,178 --> 00:23:53,265
(Newt cooing)
576
00:23:57,352 --> 00:24:00,355
♪