My name is Alice.
Alice Bonnard...
like my father and mother.
I hate people.
They oppress me.
All year, I was away at school.
I only came home for end-of-term holidays
Summer holidays were the worst.
They were endless.
I'm a little girl.
I don't know, no, I don't know.
How big a girl I am
Only you can tell...
Please, please, tell me
Tell me now
Please, please, tell me
What you like about me...
Are you glad to be back?
Listen to this.
I'd do anything for that woman.
We can't have him parking it there.
Dad! Mum!
My little girl!
Do you have to jostle people?
I just arrived!
That's true, but, all the same,
you can't help but notice
when things start badly.
You could try talking to us.
Thank you.
He's not doing much work.
He mostly pretends.
Something new happened today.
Alice came home and kissed me.
That's good.
A ventilator belt needs changing.
If only I could find those bloody pliers...
Martial must have left them lying about.
It's going to be a hot summer.
That's something women never worry about.
The Tour de France...
It's over and done now.
Jaques Anquetil has won his fourth Tour.
I hate seeing lipstick on glasses.
Find another wife.
I was getting worried.
Back then, my friends
Used to bitch and moan
Because I'd found
A girl and settled down
But nowadays,
That's all in the past
My sweet baby
Has upped and gone
Too bad, too bad
I was living on a volcano
My sweet baby
Has gone and left
I couldn't care less
Now, honey child
It would cost a fortune
To make me stop
Being a single man
Out in my Triumph
On Sunday night
I pick up more girls
Than I can possibly want
My sweet baby
Has upped and gone
Too bad, too bad
I was living on a volcano
My sweet baby
Has gone and left
I couldn't care less
Out in my Triumph
On Sunday night
I pick up more girls
Than I can possibly want
None of them will ever
Trap me again
No feeling
Is worth the price of freedom
My sweet baby
Has upped and gone
Too bad, too bad
I was living on a volcano
My sweet baby
Has gone and left
I couldn't care less
...as the midday angelus rang,
the priest shared Bishop Maillet's last moments...
I kissed my father.
I kissed my mother.
I brought your things in.
The summer holidays had started.
A feeling of oppression moved in.
I went over to the mirror.
I undressed myself hideously.
My panties...
I only like seeing myself in small bits.
The other panties.
There...
The bra.
I'm well-developed for my age.
I backed over to my bed.
Put your things away!
I sat up cautiously
liberated by the vomit's warmth,
by the sweetish smell it gave off.
Disgust makes me lucid.
It was at that very moment that I decided to write my diary...
because I couldn't sleep.
That would have meant giving in, it would have meant obeying.
I write in red ink with the pen I had for my communion.
I remembered other futile vigils
where the challenge was to stay awake as long as possible
until the night belonged to us.
The first hours didn't count.
The supervisors
could always catch us unawares.
In the quiet moments,
I'd slip my hand between my legs, like that,
for no reason...
To make a trail with my name.
Alice.
Much later, I would get up.
Martine wasn't sleeping either.
I hoped she wouldn't catch me.
In the toilets, I could stay awake for hours on end.
The light was harsh, I felt cold.
The toilet had left its mark on my backside.
Usually, I would get up and bolt the door
just when Martine came in.
What are you doing?
It's Martine. What are you doing?
I woke late, with a start
because I had to steal the report card.
For appearances' sake, I left a postcard from Martine.
Too hard.
You've got a postcard.
I know, I saw.
She can waste time.
HAVING A GREAT TIME. LOTS OF LOVE. MARTINE
Who's this Martine?
She wants to be a pilot.
Pretentious thing.
Martine was free.
While I followed my mother.
Don't come back for lunch before 12 sharp!
Come on...
Come on now...
It was broken.
I won't come back if you don't pay me.
What can I say, Martial?
If you don't come to work, you don't come.
That's all I can say.
Stop laughing!
Nice, isn't he?
Yes, great.
Spread it all over. Hurry!
Yeah!
- Can't you say yes? - No.
- You're impolite. - Yeah.
Come on in!
No, my costume's slipping off.
That's cold water!
Even that won't liven you up.
Have I tanned? I can't see for myself.
Trust you to choose a whore's costume!
Well, my boy,
I'm all for trusting young people.
Ah, my daughter.
See, I'm close to the young.
My daughter.
Hello.
This armchair is so comfortable.
They did good work back then.
Look how tanned I am.
- Not in front of your father. - He's my dad!
Exactly. I can see my women naked.
In any case, it won't bother me.
That's overdoing it.
What's all the fuss for? You're all made the same.
The vote of no confidence has led
to the government's resignation
and parliament's dissolution by General de Gaulle.
The country will decide the outcome,
the Fifth Republic's gravest crisis so far...
When do we get your report card?
I don't send it.
I know that.
At least that doesn't lie about your worth.
I'm very good.
Less than last year.
I'm very good anyway.
You're slipping.
Carry on and you'll end up in the gutter.
Shut up, for God's sake, I'm listening!
You're always on her side. Look at her, she's hopeless.
I want her to know the meaning of real values
and decide on her own future. Right, Alice?
My sunburn!
That evening, I altered my report card,
then turned to look at my dog.
I decided to see what I'd be like
if I was a whore, as my mother said.
I stared at myself until I cried.
I can't accept the proximity of my face and my vagina.
And then it passes.
You kill time, like mosquitoes.
Sometimes, mother and I get on well.
Did you and dad meet in Bordeaux?
Yes.
Who decided you'd get married?
I don't know, both of us.
We agreed.
We were in love.
I bet you I can do it.
She had even got my bike down.
I went straight to the sawmill to see Jim.
They'd known me as a child.
Their solicitude humiliated me. Yet I sought it out
as a way of seeing Jim.
Hello, Mr Labatide.
...as if you needed a reason to complain...
Are you resting?
- For a month. - You're not bored?
That's good.
But you mustn't let that stifle your will to work.
It's good to see you.
- Have you come to help us? - No.
You're right.
I wouldn't work if I didn't have to.
There again, as they say...
you mustn't complain.
I have to load the boar's trap.
They almost got it yesterday.
I'll bag one in the end.
They're ruining the corn.
I didn't want to see Jim.
Aupom became the goal of my outings.
It was the same.
People looked at me reprovingly.
So I returned to the sawmill.
I could see he wasn't interested in me. I was too young.
I hated him. And since I hated him,
I could stay to the end.
I didn't dream of sleeping with him. Ever.
I'd never give myself to a man.
You see, if you become a teacher,
you'll have the same holidays as now.
Yes.
You're built like a woman.
No one will suspect.
Yes.
We agree then.
That's good, honey.
That's good.
Yes.
All the girls give themselves these days.
They give their asses, and nothing's left.
There was another boy like Jim whom I watched on the sly.
- Want anything? - No thanks.
Scared?
I don't see why.
I looked at what he'd seen.
Hairs were curling out of my panties.
I wished he'd die.
At least Jim didn't look at me.
He could see me watching but never tried to speak to me.
He never tried to speak because he didn't need me.
Hello, miss.
You're pretty.
How about a dance?
No.
I found Jim's pay slip in my father's office.
His real name was Pierre-Evariste Renard.
He made the minimum wage.
Sorry, but I have to work.
Leave it.
I returned to my lonely outings.
I never understood why there were
so many dead dogs on the beach.
I kept my skirt on so that no one would catch me unawares.
I made up other stories.
I liked the way that I was.
Salt makes you thirsty.
How about...
No...
How about dancing?
You know, you look older than you are.
I tried to look older to hang out at the fair, too.
Alice!
Are you there?
What are you doing?
Nothing.
I'm not going with you!
A quick kiss then.
- Know what's in this case? - No.
Look! You like it, don't you?
Bastard!
Yes, you like it.
It's a big one.
- You like it, don't you? - No!
You've never seen such a big one.
Bastard!
Asshole!
Get lost, you bastard!
- Bastard! - OK...
You dumb bastard!
Asshole!
Pervert!
Bastard!
You're back late.
Too bad, he almost got a second one in then.
Good tackle...
Maybe... no.
He probably could have scored but...
he wasn't lively enough.
The corner's been played quickly.
Another corner...
Two more to mark up for France.
My sex left a sticky smear on the stone.
Sticky like the chicken's thighs, the guts and innards.
You like this, too.
Stupid, aren't they?
Chickens are the one animal I feel no pity for.
- Is that OK? Can we go? - Yes, come on!
A pound?
No more. Will you take that small one out?
That's good.
That's only 15 ounces, Mrs Bonnard.
Don't worry. You know I prefer less than more.
Shopkeepers!
Always trying to make you buy that little bit extra...
Some never know when to stop.
She's a big girl now...
We often see her cycling by.
Your girl's grown, Mrs Bonnard.
You'll have to keep an eye on her.
She's not a little girl anymore.
I've never let her roam the countryside.
Oh, youngsters today!
I never thought she wandered off so far.
She knows I don't want her getting bad habits.
Just before her final year...
She'll come back with a bun in the oven...
Then disaster struck.
I trusted you.
But you've pulled at the tether till it's snapped.
The answer's simple...
No more bicycle outings.
I'll stay in bed.
You're dangerous for yourself.
You'll understand one day.
I should have kept you in after your first period.
Has someone fondled you?
Are you listening?
I'm cleaning my ears.
I had nothing to do.
I buggered myself with the bottle of oil for tanning.
But it did nothing for me.
I went back to the sawmill on foot. I got there too late.
He was shaking it.
Cluck, cluck, I'm a chicken too!
I watched his cock flopping like a dead fish.
Get lost!
When I was 17, I was at the war instead of having fun.
I didn't drive around in a Triumph kissing the girls.
There'd be no juvenile delinquency with me.
I know what's wrong with him.
He's jealous of young people because he can't...
he can't do anything.
What do you believe?
Now he roams all around,
showing off, he's scared of young people.
There's no talking to him.
But him...
he likes to keep control of things.
As for me,
he knows he can't fool me.
I know you're on his side. You're just like each other.
Shut up!
I'll show you, I can kick up a fuss too.
I'll go naked onto the square, totally naked,
and I'll scream and scream!
I had fled off along the road and I met my father's car.
I told him everything.
Yes,
I know what she's like.
But what can I do about it?
She's worried about money.
I'll drop you here.
Have a good time.
He left me.
At the sawmill itself.
Because it suited him.
Not inside, outside!
You're saving me.
We're doing nothing wrong.
You'd marry me if you were free?
Yes. You know that.
When I was expecting Alice,
were you already cheating on me then?
Yes.
I guessed.
But I tried to ignore it.
- You've always cheated on me. - Not really.
You have. During all that time, I refused to accept it.
Out of pride.
But I didn't want to be wrong.
Excuse me.
No, stay, we have nothing to hide.
We love each other.
You know, before you,
I had a lot of lovers, it's true.
Marc...
Laurent...
All more elegant than you.
Marc wanted to marry me after the war.
He'd been in the Petain government.
I'd have had to go to Paris.
I dropped it all for you.
You've never been able to take risks.
You've never done anything.
Me?
I slave away all day.
You darn your stockings, you save...
You never earn anything.
If I understand, what you hold against me
is that I cost nothing.
What about this woman?
Is it serious?
Yes.
But I don't think I want to lose you.
Why is it burning?
I made a mark like a sex on my night-shirt.
Symbols don't scare me.
Try in the mouth.
If ever
Anyone asks
What I do with my life
Tell them that
All I want
Is to love you like crazy
Give me my chance
My chance in life
If you think
That I'm just a lout
No laws
Stop me
I stop at your knees
Give me my chance
You'll pay for that!
Yes.
You don't like it here?
I do, I do but...
No.
Stop it.
Understand,
I'll sleep with you but I don't want a baby.
The first time, that would be bad luck.
Exactly!
You don't tease a man like this.
In any case, I don't want to sleep with you.
If that's what you want.
You don't understand.
Understand what? What do you mean?
The pill.
What?
The pill! You can get it in Switzerland.
When will you get it?
I don't know. You can get it in Switzerland.
Just get your hands on it.
Right...
Well...
in the meantime, you can do what you want.
If you don't sleep with me.
What if I can't wait?
I'm still a minor, you know.
I fired the little bastard.
He wanted me to pay overtime.
He's got a car on credit. Thinks he's better than the bosses.
The law's on their side.
The shame of it!
Good, isn't it?
- I'll wash it for you. - As if I care!
Your father doesn't mind giving me his sperm to wash out.
I find it everywhere. Everywhere!
Even in his trouser pockets.
It's always been like that!
- Here you go. - Thanks.
You're welcome.
You know...
You know how to take them? It's a girl's thing.
When was your period?
I'll work it all out. I don't want to talk about it.
When can we do it?
Soon. I'd prefer an evening, it's sadder.
Take this,
you need it the most.
You see, I've built my son up.
You'll need to cook well when you're married.
Where are you going?
Where I want. Look after her and mind your own business.
I'd given Jim my first date.
I like to turn the light off or you'll be awake
till two or three with your bloody writing...
Tomorrow...
He'd come through the cornfield.
We're ruined! Ruined! I can't believe it!
What are we going to do?
How can we pay for this?
My God, we're ruined. How can we pay for this?
What are we going to do? We're ruined!
Shut up, woman! We can't hear ourselves think!
God, what are we going to do?
My God, we're ruined!
What are we going to do?
I should have divorced 20 years ago.
To think I begged him to marry me.
How are we going to pay for this?