1 00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:45,415 Calvin, where do you get these? 2 00:01:45,415 --> 00:01:46,615 They're so funny. 3 00:01:46,615 --> 00:01:49,515 Just remember don't mention the communists. 4 00:01:49,515 --> 00:01:51,515 Calvin's a great guy, but he's a little--you know. 5 00:01:51,715 --> 00:01:53,715 -Nutty. -What's his wife like? 6 00:01:53,815 --> 00:01:55,715 You know...housewife. 7 00:01:55,715 --> 00:01:57,515 Likes to cook, pregnant. 8 00:01:57,615 --> 00:01:58,915 Normal, then. 9 00:01:58,915 --> 00:02:00,915 I wouldn't go that far. 10 00:02:00,915 --> 00:02:03,315 -Helen! -Oh, hi, Betty. Hi, Dave. 11 00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:05,415 Just look at you. 12 00:02:05,615 --> 00:02:06,815 Any day now. 13 00:02:06,815 --> 00:02:08,115 Say hi to my sister Ruth and her husband. 14 00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:10,215 Tell me if you've heard this one. 15 00:02:10,515 --> 00:02:13,415 A duck walks into a drugstore. 16 00:02:13,415 --> 00:02:15,915 He says, "I'd like some lip gloss." 17 00:02:15,915 --> 00:02:19,115 The clerk says, "Certainly, sir. Will this be cash or check?" 18 00:02:19,115 --> 00:02:22,915 The duck says, "Put it on my bill." 19 00:02:25,015 --> 00:02:26,315 Oh, brother. 20 00:02:26,315 --> 00:02:28,815 He was the golden boy professor at Cal Tech... 21 00:02:29,615 --> 00:02:31,415 but then he started inventing things. 22 00:02:31,415 --> 00:02:33,415 He suddenly became very rich. 23 00:02:33,715 --> 00:02:36,215 And that was it. He quit teaching. 24 00:02:37,015 --> 00:02:39,415 -How's that? -Just what the doctor ordered. 25 00:02:41,415 --> 00:02:44,115 Calvin spends all of his time out there... 26 00:02:44,115 --> 00:02:46,415 tinkering around in the workshop. 27 00:02:46,515 --> 00:02:49,015 If you ask me, it's all very strange. 28 00:02:49,015 --> 00:02:50,215 Same is true of batteries. 29 00:02:50,315 --> 00:02:53,215 I could take a simple yacht battery... 30 00:02:53,315 --> 00:02:56,015 and rig it to last a decade, easily. 31 00:02:56,715 --> 00:02:58,716 Say, Helen, what does Calvin think... 32 00:02:58,816 --> 00:03:00,816 about this trouble down in Cuba? 33 00:03:00,916 --> 00:03:04,416 Oh, for heaven's sakes, please don't bring that up. 34 00:03:13,516 --> 00:03:17,016 I'd say my baseball card collection is as complete... 35 00:03:17,116 --> 00:03:18,816 as any one I've ever seen. 36 00:03:21,416 --> 00:03:23,416 Calvin! Kennedy is going toe-to-toe with Khruschev... 37 00:03:23,516 --> 00:03:25,216 on television right now. 38 00:03:25,216 --> 00:03:26,616 Ooh, boy. 39 00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:29,516 On the island of Cuba. 40 00:03:29,516 --> 00:03:32,016 Unmistakable evidence has established the fact... 41 00:03:32,016 --> 00:03:35,516 that a series of offensive missile sites... 42 00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:39,916 is now in preparation on that imprisoned island. 43 00:03:57,316 --> 00:04:01,116 Tower, this is Wolf One. I got five miles to the overhead. 44 00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,816 Wolf One, Tower. Report the numbers. 45 00:04:02,816 --> 00:04:04,516 You're number one for the overhead. 46 00:04:07,616 --> 00:04:10,216 Tower, this is Wolf One. I got a problem here. 47 00:04:10,216 --> 00:04:13,516 State your problem, Wolf One. Are you declaring an emergency? 48 00:04:13,516 --> 00:04:15,416 Stand by, One. 49 00:04:15,416 --> 00:04:18,316 Additional sites appear to be designed... 50 00:04:18,416 --> 00:04:21,116 for intermediate-range ballistic missiles... 51 00:04:21,116 --> 00:04:23,516 and thus capable of striking most of the major cities... 52 00:04:23,616 --> 00:04:25,416 in the western hemisphere. 53 00:04:26,616 --> 00:04:28,216 Folks. 54 00:04:28,316 --> 00:04:31,516 Given this extraordinary turn of events... 55 00:04:31,516 --> 00:04:34,416 I think it's prudent we cut this evening short. 56 00:04:34,416 --> 00:04:36,416 I'm sure this Cuban thing will resolve itself... 57 00:04:36,516 --> 00:04:39,216 but in the meantime, I suggest we take... 58 00:04:39,216 --> 00:04:41,716 a prayerful watch and wait stance. 59 00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,316 OK, folks, let's go. 60 00:04:47,816 --> 00:04:49,516 -My coat. -Oh, here you go. 61 00:04:49,516 --> 00:04:51,116 I'll call you, then. 62 00:04:55,316 --> 00:04:56,416 What did I tell you? 63 00:05:02,316 --> 00:05:04,616 Well, I'm certainly not gonna let this pot roast go to waste. 64 00:05:04,616 --> 00:05:06,416 Oh, Calvin, would you put that seat cushion... 65 00:05:06,516 --> 00:05:08,016 back on the lawn chair, honey? 66 00:05:08,116 --> 00:05:10,116 Shouldn't we at least turn off the phonograph? 67 00:05:10,316 --> 00:05:12,016 It shuts off automatically. 68 00:05:12,016 --> 00:05:13,716 Oh. Did you make it to do that? 69 00:05:13,716 --> 00:05:14,916 They all do. 70 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:16,916 I never know anymore. 71 00:05:19,216 --> 00:05:22,816 I bet that's a fighter jet on its way to Key West. 72 00:05:24,016 --> 00:05:25,216 Good luck, amigo. 73 00:05:25,216 --> 00:05:26,716 An emergency has been declared. 74 00:05:26,716 --> 00:05:29,017 I repeat, an emergency has been declared. 75 00:05:29,017 --> 00:05:30,217 You hear that? 76 00:05:30,817 --> 00:05:32,417 I'll come back for the radio. 77 00:05:33,817 --> 00:05:36,717 I wish you would have at least let me do the dishes. 78 00:05:36,717 --> 00:05:37,817 It's not gonna be that easy... 79 00:05:37,917 --> 00:05:40,317 to get all that dried-on food off my nice plates. 80 00:05:40,317 --> 00:05:43,317 I just hope those plates are not radioactive by tomorrow. 81 00:05:43,317 --> 00:05:45,617 Cheese is particularly troublesome. 82 00:05:45,717 --> 00:05:47,717 I've got secondaries of an engine fire. 83 00:05:47,917 --> 00:05:50,817 I'm gonna need to find a clear area to eject. 84 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:53,117 Roger, Wolf One. Can you make it to the ocean? 85 00:05:56,017 --> 00:05:57,817 Roger that, Tower. 86 00:05:57,817 --> 00:06:02,417 I'm marking the one-eight-zero radio for five... 87 00:06:02,417 --> 00:06:04,317 and ejecting, Tower. 88 00:06:04,417 --> 00:06:05,817 Roger, Wolf One. 89 00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:21,617 How long will we have to stay down here? 90 00:06:21,617 --> 00:06:24,117 For this thing to blow over could take days. 91 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,317 Days? 92 00:06:25,317 --> 00:06:27,217 What if I go into labor? 93 00:06:27,217 --> 00:06:29,517 That could happen any time now. 94 00:06:29,617 --> 00:06:30,717 I've read up on it. 95 00:06:30,717 --> 00:06:33,617 If I have to, I'll deliver the baby myself. 96 00:07:00,417 --> 00:07:01,717 Home, sweet home. 97 00:07:03,017 --> 00:07:04,217 To you, maybe. 98 00:07:16,217 --> 00:07:17,317 Are you all right? 99 00:07:17,317 --> 00:07:18,817 I think so. 100 00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:25,217 It's happened! 101 00:07:25,217 --> 00:07:26,517 Look at that heat! 102 00:07:26,517 --> 00:07:28,517 All my surface indicators... 103 00:07:28,617 --> 00:07:31,417 knocked out! Oh, Lord! 104 00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:33,017 It's happened! 105 00:07:39,817 --> 00:07:41,217 What was that noise? 106 00:07:43,917 --> 00:07:45,117 - The locks. - The locks? 107 00:07:50,017 --> 00:07:53,517 To keep us from trying to leave. 108 00:07:53,617 --> 00:07:57,417 There's a radiation half-life after an atomic blast. 109 00:07:57,517 --> 00:07:59,217 -It lasts thirty-five years.- Thirty-five years? 110 00:08:02,618 --> 00:08:07,118 Then after that, it's safe to go up. 111 00:08:10,218 --> 00:08:11,918 According to Cal Tech... 112 00:08:11,918 --> 00:08:14,918 this Webber guy was a bona fide genius... 113 00:08:14,918 --> 00:08:17,318 but a borderline nut case. 114 00:08:17,318 --> 00:08:18,518 He and Mrs. Nut Case... 115 00:08:18,518 --> 00:08:20,218 must have been out here when the plane hit. 116 00:08:21,118 --> 00:08:24,018 Unless we get a postcard or something, that'd be my guess. 117 00:08:24,018 --> 00:08:25,118 What about relatives? 118 00:08:25,218 --> 00:08:26,618 They're all back east. 119 00:08:27,518 --> 00:08:31,018 Neighbors said the guy spent day and night out here. 120 00:08:31,018 --> 00:08:34,718 She'd bring him sandwiches and hot Dr. Pepper. 121 00:08:36,918 --> 00:08:38,118 He drank it hot? 122 00:08:40,418 --> 00:08:42,118 Good God. 123 00:09:00,518 --> 00:09:01,918 Hi, hon. 124 00:09:01,918 --> 00:09:03,018 Feeling better? 125 00:09:04,518 --> 00:09:06,318 We have to be strong. 126 00:09:07,118 --> 00:09:08,718 If not for ourselves... 127 00:09:08,718 --> 00:09:10,218 for the child. 128 00:09:14,718 --> 00:09:16,618 All our friends. 129 00:09:16,718 --> 00:09:17,918 Burnt to a crisp. 130 00:09:20,318 --> 00:09:21,518 I'm not hungry. 131 00:09:21,518 --> 00:09:23,818 Hot Dr. Pepper--your favorite. 132 00:09:23,918 --> 00:09:26,818 No, Calvin. Your favorite. 133 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:29,518 Really? 134 00:09:32,718 --> 00:09:34,718 Chilly? You shouldn't be. 135 00:09:35,718 --> 00:09:37,318 Temperature's a nice seventy-three degrees. 136 00:09:37,418 --> 00:09:39,418 Maybe I've just got the creeps. 137 00:09:39,618 --> 00:09:41,918 How could you? This is just like home. 138 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,118 This is different. 139 00:09:46,218 --> 00:09:47,718 Believe me. 140 00:09:47,718 --> 00:09:49,518 Would you like a tranquilizer? 141 00:09:50,718 --> 00:09:52,318 You've got tranquilizers? 142 00:09:52,318 --> 00:09:54,218 I told you I have everything. 143 00:09:57,018 --> 00:09:58,118 What? 144 00:09:59,618 --> 00:10:01,618 Oh, hon. 145 00:10:05,318 --> 00:10:06,418 Just breathe. 146 00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:08,018 I'll get my stuff. 147 00:10:44,119 --> 00:10:45,419 Is there a problem? 148 00:10:45,419 --> 00:10:47,419 No, Calvin. Babies cry. 149 00:10:48,219 --> 00:10:49,419 I've noticed. 150 00:10:49,519 --> 00:10:50,919 What shall we call him? 151 00:10:51,019 --> 00:10:52,919 I don't know. 152 00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:55,019 Well, I was thinking, in light of the situation... 153 00:10:56,019 --> 00:10:58,019 we should call him Adam. 154 00:10:58,019 --> 00:10:59,619 That's not sacrilegious, is it? 155 00:10:59,619 --> 00:11:02,219 No. I think it's just right. 156 00:11:03,319 --> 00:11:06,719 And I was wondering if...if... 157 00:11:07,819 --> 00:11:10,219 Whatever you want, Helen. 158 00:11:10,319 --> 00:11:11,819 I want a bedroom ceiling. 159 00:11:15,619 --> 00:11:16,819 You got it. 160 00:11:32,719 --> 00:11:34,719 See, I flick this switch... 161 00:11:35,619 --> 00:11:38,819 and the image is projected onto a mirror... 162 00:11:38,919 --> 00:11:40,919 and the picture comes out here... 163 00:11:40,919 --> 00:11:42,319 and it's perfect. 164 00:11:51,719 --> 00:11:54,519 Well, almost perfect. 165 00:11:54,519 --> 00:11:56,019 You know something? 166 00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:59,119 People will never get tired of watching these. 167 00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:11,519 Lord, bless this food... 168 00:12:11,519 --> 00:12:12,819 this family... 169 00:12:12,919 --> 00:12:14,919 and make us ever mindful... 170 00:12:15,119 --> 00:12:16,919 of the needs of others. Amen. 171 00:12:19,519 --> 00:12:20,919 Let's eat. 172 00:12:39,519 --> 00:12:40,819 Out here, hon. 173 00:12:40,819 --> 00:12:42,619 Oh, there you are. 174 00:12:43,819 --> 00:12:45,819 Looked all over for you. 175 00:12:47,519 --> 00:12:49,919 What are you doing back here? 176 00:12:49,919 --> 00:12:52,319 I was just examining this rear hatchway. 177 00:12:52,319 --> 00:12:53,519 Why? 178 00:12:55,619 --> 00:12:57,919 It's pretty clear that when the bomb went off... 179 00:12:57,919 --> 00:13:00,419 the front entrance caved in, so, you know... 180 00:13:00,419 --> 00:13:02,120 we'll have to return to the surface... 181 00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:04,720 using this back entrance, which is very nice... 182 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,720 because it has the service elevator. 183 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,720 Unless it's caved in, too. 184 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,620 Well, yes. 185 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:12,920 You wanted to see me? 186 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:14,720 Yes. You ready, Adam? 187 00:13:14,820 --> 00:13:16,120 Watch this. 188 00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:19,620 He can stand up all by himself. 189 00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:20,920 Show Daddy. 190 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,520 All by himself. 191 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:23,920 That's my guy. 192 00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,120 Stand up. 193 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,720 My son. 194 00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:29,320 Up, Adam... 195 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:30,820 to the moon. 196 00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:50,120 Hey, boss, what do you make of this? 197 00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:51,320 Damn if I know. 198 00:13:51,420 --> 00:13:52,720 Bet it's some kind of septic tank. 199 00:13:52,820 --> 00:13:54,720 I never seen a septic tank that looked like that. 200 00:13:54,820 --> 00:13:55,920 Well, don't fool with it. 201 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,320 If it is a septic tank, I sure as hell don't want to open it. 202 00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,320 We'll just lay the foundation over it. 203 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:10,120 "In won-der-land." 204 00:14:10,220 --> 00:14:12,920 I'd like to see the public school system match that. 205 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,920 I don't care how terrific it is. 206 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,220 But, honey, don't you think he's a little young for school? 207 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,320 People have no idea what the human mind is capable of. 208 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:21,520 Look, Daddy. 209 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,320 Alice went down the hole... 210 00:14:23,420 --> 00:14:25,420 just like us. 211 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:28,120 Will I ever get to go up on top? 212 00:14:28,220 --> 00:14:30,020 Yes. You certainly will. 213 00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:32,020 And you'll find a nice girl... 214 00:14:32,020 --> 00:14:34,620 rebuild America just the way it used to be. 215 00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:37,420 Oh, Calvin, I'm not sure we should be making promises... 216 00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:38,720 that perhaps can't be kept. 217 00:14:38,820 --> 00:14:40,620 I'm convinced there'll be other survivors. 218 00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:44,320 In fact, I'm guessing there's life on the surface even now. 219 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:45,920 Not life worth living, perhaps... 220 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:48,520 but believe me... 221 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,520 something is moving around up there. 222 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,320 I'm gonna need two more banana splits and a Cherry Coke. 223 00:15:07,420 --> 00:15:09,220 You bet, Mom. Comin' up. 224 00:15:09,220 --> 00:15:11,820 Oh, by the way, Mom, thanks for the job. 225 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:13,920 Buck fifteen an hour. 226 00:15:18,020 --> 00:15:19,920 Your husband is crazy. 227 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,520 All right. What's the big news? 228 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,620 Oh, you're a riot. 229 00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:30,420 Oh, what a riot you are! 230 00:15:32,321 --> 00:15:33,521 Watch this. 231 00:15:33,521 --> 00:15:34,721 You're funny! 232 00:15:36,421 --> 00:15:37,621 You're a real riot. 233 00:15:37,621 --> 00:15:39,621 They're comin' now to put you on the stage. 234 00:15:39,821 --> 00:15:41,821 There's been complaints about me on the bus. 235 00:15:42,021 --> 00:15:45,121 He's sending me to the company psychiatrist. 236 00:15:45,121 --> 00:15:46,721 Psychiatrist? 237 00:15:46,721 --> 00:15:49,821 Yeah, a psychiatrist, and that means I'm crazy. 238 00:15:49,821 --> 00:15:51,521 Oh, don't be silly, Ralph. 239 00:15:51,521 --> 00:15:54,921 Sending you to a psychiatrist doesn't mean you're crazy. 240 00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:56,921 Stick it. That's right. 241 00:15:57,121 --> 00:15:58,421 Hook off the jab. 242 00:15:59,521 --> 00:16:00,721 That's right. 243 00:16:02,821 --> 00:16:05,521 Excuse me, boys, but I believe it's my turn now. 244 00:16:18,421 --> 00:16:21,321 Four, five. 245 00:16:21,321 --> 00:16:23,121 Five, six. 246 00:16:23,121 --> 00:16:24,521 And six, spin. 247 00:16:34,421 --> 00:16:36,121 May I cut in? 248 00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:37,721 You certainly may. 249 00:16:37,821 --> 00:16:39,321 Thank you, son. 250 00:17:15,921 --> 00:17:17,921 I miss those nice flower-power kids. 251 00:17:18,021 --> 00:17:19,421 How 'bout you? 252 00:17:29,221 --> 00:17:31,521 What the hell kind of music is that? 253 00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:34,421 Oh, man. 254 00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:37,021 I'm not sure I like that. 255 00:18:00,521 --> 00:18:03,022 These are stock certificates. 256 00:18:03,022 --> 00:18:06,022 Your Mom and I bought them, for you. 257 00:18:07,122 --> 00:18:08,322 Of course, they're worthless now... 258 00:18:08,322 --> 00:18:11,222 but at one time they were quite valuable. 259 00:18:12,122 --> 00:18:15,022 They're pretty. Could I have them? 260 00:18:15,022 --> 00:18:16,622 Sure. 261 00:18:16,622 --> 00:18:20,922 Now let's move on to our French exam. 262 00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:24,022 Latin exam, Dad. It's Tuesday. 263 00:18:25,922 --> 00:18:28,522 Gosh, it is Tuesday. 264 00:18:28,622 --> 00:18:30,622 Time flies, doesn't it? 265 00:18:30,722 --> 00:18:32,222 Tempus fugit. 266 00:18:44,222 --> 00:18:47,922 You have a wonderful sense of humor, son, I must say. 267 00:18:49,622 --> 00:18:52,722 The acorn does not fall very far from the tree. 268 00:18:57,422 --> 00:18:59,222 Gotcha, I gotcha. 269 00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:08,622 This is wonderful. 270 00:19:08,622 --> 00:19:11,722 That's my baseball card collection. 271 00:19:11,722 --> 00:19:13,022 It's yours now. 272 00:19:14,922 --> 00:19:16,122 What's baseball? 273 00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:17,322 It's a game, son. 274 00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:20,222 I can explain it pretty easily. 275 00:19:20,322 --> 00:19:22,722 You see, there's a pitcher. 276 00:19:22,722 --> 00:19:24,122 Oh, like a painting? 277 00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:27,722 No. A pit-cher. 278 00:19:27,822 --> 00:19:29,122 Like one of Mom's? 279 00:19:30,022 --> 00:19:32,022 No. There's a man who throws the ball... 280 00:19:32,322 --> 00:19:34,222 to a man who has a bat. 281 00:19:34,322 --> 00:19:36,222 Oh, the nocturnal flying mammal. 282 00:20:01,922 --> 00:20:03,222 I'm sellin' this place. 283 00:20:03,222 --> 00:20:05,522 I want out of this hellhole. 284 00:20:09,022 --> 00:20:10,822 Could I, uh... 285 00:20:10,922 --> 00:20:14,322 If you sell, uh... 286 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,422 Me, could I, uh... 287 00:20:16,622 --> 00:20:18,122 Buy it from me? 288 00:20:18,222 --> 00:20:19,722 Yeah! Yeah, that's it! 289 00:20:19,822 --> 00:20:22,722 I'll give it to you. No money down. 290 00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:23,922 Cool! 291 00:20:24,722 --> 00:20:27,622 This neighborhood's gone to hell anyway. 292 00:20:28,722 --> 00:20:29,822 At last... 293 00:20:29,822 --> 00:20:32,723 I am master of all I survey! 294 00:20:36,723 --> 00:20:37,823 No, no. Listen... 295 00:20:38,723 --> 00:20:41,323 I'm only gonna explain this one more time. 296 00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:44,123 The runner on second goes to third. 297 00:20:44,123 --> 00:20:46,123 It's--He's out there. 298 00:20:46,123 --> 00:20:47,323 Why? 299 00:20:47,323 --> 00:20:51,623 Because he's forced out. It's--it's a force. 300 00:20:51,623 --> 00:20:52,823 Then why go there? 301 00:20:52,823 --> 00:20:55,923 Because...he must. 302 00:20:57,523 --> 00:20:58,723 Coming. 303 00:21:01,623 --> 00:21:03,223 Yes, dear? 304 00:21:03,223 --> 00:21:05,223 You get the presents, I'll get the lights. 305 00:21:05,423 --> 00:21:06,723 You bet. 306 00:21:08,323 --> 00:21:13,023 Happy birthday to you 307 00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:16,823 And many more 308 00:21:19,123 --> 00:21:21,723 Thanks, Mom. Thank you, Dad. 309 00:21:21,723 --> 00:21:23,723 -Blow out the candles. -Make a wish. 310 00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:31,923 Here. 311 00:21:41,223 --> 00:21:44,223 Oh, boy! A jacket! 312 00:21:44,223 --> 00:21:46,223 Your mom made that all by herself. 313 00:21:46,423 --> 00:21:47,723 No kidding? 314 00:21:49,223 --> 00:21:51,123 Who else could have done it? 315 00:21:51,223 --> 00:21:52,823 I made these. 316 00:22:01,523 --> 00:22:03,823 Holy cow. 317 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:05,823 What the heck are these? 318 00:22:05,923 --> 00:22:07,523 It's your roller skates. Yup. 319 00:22:07,523 --> 00:22:09,323 I redesigned them. 320 00:22:09,323 --> 00:22:12,323 These are really swell. I mean swell. 321 00:22:12,423 --> 00:22:14,323 What did you wish for, son? 322 00:22:14,423 --> 00:22:15,523 If he tells, it won't come true. 323 00:22:15,623 --> 00:22:18,623 Oh, that's a bunch of baloney. My family never believed that. 324 00:22:18,623 --> 00:22:21,423 Well, we did in my family. 325 00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:23,423 I wished that I could meet a girl. 326 00:22:25,023 --> 00:22:27,023 I hope a nice one? 327 00:22:27,023 --> 00:22:28,423 Yes, ma'am. 328 00:22:28,423 --> 00:22:30,323 One that doesn't glow in the dark, I hope. 329 00:22:30,423 --> 00:22:33,023 Calvin Webber, what a thing to say. 330 00:22:33,123 --> 00:22:35,123 Well, we'll be going up in two years. 331 00:22:35,123 --> 00:22:36,523 We'll know then. 332 00:22:36,623 --> 00:22:37,823 I'm very hopeful. 333 00:22:39,023 --> 00:22:40,323 Me, too. 334 00:22:40,323 --> 00:22:41,623 Elbows, son. 335 00:22:41,623 --> 00:22:44,423 I'm sorry, Mom. What the heck am I thinking tonight? 336 00:22:44,423 --> 00:22:46,423 You never know. You might someday dine... 337 00:22:46,623 --> 00:22:48,123 at the White House with the President. 338 00:22:48,123 --> 00:22:49,623 If we still have one. 339 00:22:51,623 --> 00:22:53,923 You know, when we do go up... 340 00:22:53,923 --> 00:22:55,323 I'm gonna miss this place. 341 00:22:58,523 --> 00:22:59,723 How about you, hon? 342 00:23:05,724 --> 00:23:07,724 Would you please excuse me? 343 00:23:08,824 --> 00:23:10,524 No, no, don't--don't get up. 344 00:23:24,824 --> 00:23:26,824 [ Screaming ] 345 00:24:12,824 --> 00:24:14,524 Should we say a prayer first? 346 00:24:14,524 --> 00:24:16,124 Just open the door. 347 00:24:31,524 --> 00:24:32,924 Long time. 348 00:24:36,424 --> 00:24:39,124 Well, it's dirty, but... 349 00:24:42,924 --> 00:24:44,524 it seems to be OK. 350 00:24:48,424 --> 00:24:50,424 I know you're happy. 351 00:24:53,524 --> 00:24:55,524 Do we just go on up? 352 00:24:56,924 --> 00:24:58,224 No, son. 353 00:24:58,224 --> 00:25:01,624 Now is the time we must be at our most cautious. 354 00:25:01,724 --> 00:25:02,824 We wait for night. 355 00:25:02,924 --> 00:25:04,324 Oh, shit! 356 00:25:05,624 --> 00:25:07,224 Helen Thomas Webber... 357 00:25:07,224 --> 00:25:10,524 maybe we have been down here a little too long. 358 00:25:11,924 --> 00:25:13,324 Pardon her French, son. 359 00:25:13,424 --> 00:25:15,424 "Shit" is French? 360 00:25:16,724 --> 00:25:18,424 Well, it's archaic French. 361 00:25:18,424 --> 00:25:21,424 It's a 16th century colloquialism... 362 00:25:21,424 --> 00:25:23,224 meaning roughly "Good." 363 00:25:23,324 --> 00:25:25,324 Your father's right. 364 00:25:25,324 --> 00:25:28,424 Well...shit! 365 00:25:43,625 --> 00:25:46,125 All of these things... 366 00:25:46,225 --> 00:25:47,925 Alcoholics Anonymous... 367 00:25:47,925 --> 00:25:49,925 Cocaine Anonymous... 368 00:25:50,125 --> 00:25:51,825 Heroin Anonymous-- 369 00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:53,925 There's a Heroin Anonymous? 370 00:25:53,925 --> 00:25:57,225 Will you please... shut up! 371 00:25:57,225 --> 00:25:58,625 Sorry. Sorry. 372 00:25:58,625 --> 00:26:03,325 All of these things ask you to believe in a power... 373 00:26:03,325 --> 00:26:05,325 greater than yourself. 374 00:26:05,425 --> 00:26:09,925 Well, I have lifted my eyes skyward a time or two... 375 00:26:09,925 --> 00:26:11,925 and I certainly have not seen anything... 376 00:26:12,125 --> 00:26:15,425 coming from up there except a goddamn airplane... 377 00:26:16,225 --> 00:26:18,225 which I can't afford to get on. 378 00:26:21,125 --> 00:26:23,625 Earthquake! Another earthquake! 379 00:26:24,225 --> 00:26:27,025 Let her come. Let her come. Let's get this over with! 380 00:26:36,925 --> 00:26:38,425 Oh, God. 381 00:26:44,025 --> 00:26:45,925 Oh, my God. 382 00:26:45,925 --> 00:26:47,925 Oh, God, save me. 383 00:26:50,625 --> 00:26:53,225 For I have seen the light! 384 00:27:03,025 --> 00:27:04,325 I come... 385 00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:07,125 in peace. 386 00:27:24,525 --> 00:27:27,925 Leave my elevator alone. 387 00:27:49,025 --> 00:27:52,225 What happened to my backyard? 388 00:28:30,326 --> 00:28:31,926 Got a light, honey? 389 00:28:32,926 --> 00:28:34,826 A light? Yes. 390 00:28:34,926 --> 00:28:36,426 I do have a light. 391 00:28:39,326 --> 00:28:40,826 Good. Thank you. 392 00:28:42,226 --> 00:28:45,126 So...you survived the blast. 393 00:28:45,126 --> 00:28:46,926 The blast? 394 00:28:46,926 --> 00:28:49,226 Honey, I've survived a host of things. 395 00:28:49,326 --> 00:28:51,926 Like the song says, the country boy can survive. 396 00:28:52,026 --> 00:28:53,926 Did you say you were a country boy? 397 00:28:54,026 --> 00:28:55,726 Cute little old man... 398 00:28:55,826 --> 00:28:57,826 if you want a boy, I can be a boy... 399 00:28:58,026 --> 00:28:59,926 and if you want a girl, I can be a girl. 400 00:28:59,926 --> 00:29:01,326 Hell, I can be whatever you want me to be. 401 00:29:01,426 --> 00:29:02,526 Really? 402 00:29:02,526 --> 00:29:04,026 Uh-huh, and it's all yours... 403 00:29:04,026 --> 00:29:06,026 for the remarkably low price of two hundred dollars. 404 00:29:06,126 --> 00:29:07,626 And if you act now... 405 00:29:07,726 --> 00:29:11,626 I may even throw in some free lawn furniture. 406 00:29:11,726 --> 00:29:14,026 No. Thanks. 407 00:29:14,026 --> 00:29:16,026 Thank you. I have to go. 408 00:29:16,226 --> 00:29:17,326 Go on. 409 00:29:19,926 --> 00:29:21,926 Get out of here, you old drunk! 410 00:29:28,526 --> 00:29:29,626 Surprise! 411 00:29:37,826 --> 00:29:39,826 [ Screaming ] 412 00:29:42,326 --> 00:29:44,126 I'm gonna give it to you straight. 413 00:29:44,126 --> 00:29:46,126 There's no point beating around the bush. 414 00:29:46,326 --> 00:29:47,526 There were survivors. 415 00:29:48,126 --> 00:29:53,026 Apparently the fallout has created a subspecies--mutants. 416 00:29:56,126 --> 00:29:57,326 Not a pretty sight. 417 00:29:57,326 --> 00:29:59,326 Some eat out of garbage cans. 418 00:29:59,526 --> 00:30:02,426 Others--cover your ears, son, and hum. 419 00:30:02,526 --> 00:30:05,126 I mean that literally. Right now. 420 00:30:06,926 --> 00:30:10,726 Others...are multi-sexual. 421 00:30:10,726 --> 00:30:13,026 It seems they can be both... 422 00:30:13,026 --> 00:30:15,926 masculine and feminine simultaneously. 423 00:30:16,926 --> 00:30:18,726 -I don't believe it! -Believe it. 424 00:30:18,826 --> 00:30:20,826 He tried to sell me his body, Helen. 425 00:30:21,926 --> 00:30:23,926 They offer lawn furniture as a come-on. 426 00:30:28,126 --> 00:30:29,426 All right. 427 00:30:29,426 --> 00:30:31,126 They have done a lot of rebuilding... 428 00:30:31,126 --> 00:30:33,826 though society, at least as we know it... 429 00:30:33,826 --> 00:30:36,727 has totally collapsed. People throw up in the streets. 430 00:30:36,727 --> 00:30:38,027 Others point guns. 431 00:30:38,127 --> 00:30:40,827 There's something terribly wrong with the automobiles... 432 00:30:40,827 --> 00:30:42,827 and I can't tell you the rest. 433 00:30:42,827 --> 00:30:44,527 I just can't. Maybe someday. 434 00:30:46,027 --> 00:30:48,327 -What do we do now? -We stay down here! 435 00:30:48,327 --> 00:30:49,927 -We do? -Yes! 436 00:30:49,927 --> 00:30:51,027 We'll make do. 437 00:30:51,127 --> 00:30:53,127 We have clothes, running water from a well. 438 00:30:53,227 --> 00:30:55,627 I am convinced these mutants will kill each other off-- 439 00:30:55,727 --> 00:30:58,227 No, Calvin, we won't make do! 440 00:30:58,227 --> 00:31:01,227 Not me, not Adam ! We're going up! 441 00:31:01,327 --> 00:31:03,627 I don't care how horrible it is! We deserve it! 442 00:31:03,627 --> 00:31:05,027 I am the head of this household! 443 00:31:05,127 --> 00:31:07,127 I want him to see the sky! 444 00:31:07,227 --> 00:31:08,327 We will! 445 00:31:08,427 --> 00:31:10,027 The ocean! A mountain! 446 00:31:10,127 --> 00:31:11,627 Do as I say! 447 00:31:22,927 --> 00:31:24,727 Oh, Adam ! Oh, my goodness! 448 00:31:24,827 --> 00:31:26,027 Let's get him to the bedroom ! 449 00:31:27,527 --> 00:31:29,527 He seems to be doing all right now. 450 00:31:30,527 --> 00:31:32,327 I don't know if he had a heart attack... 451 00:31:32,327 --> 00:31:34,727 or just a horrifying experience... 452 00:31:34,827 --> 00:31:38,427 but we need supplies, and I've got to stay with him. 453 00:31:38,527 --> 00:31:39,627 I'll go up. 454 00:31:40,627 --> 00:31:42,127 I'm afraid you must. 455 00:31:42,227 --> 00:31:43,827 I'll be all right. 456 00:31:43,927 --> 00:31:45,927 My brave boy. 457 00:31:48,427 --> 00:31:50,127 Just act normal. 458 00:31:50,127 --> 00:31:52,627 If anyone asks, simply say... 459 00:31:52,627 --> 00:31:55,527 "I'm from out of town. I'm here on business." 460 00:31:55,527 --> 00:31:56,727 Write that down. 461 00:31:58,027 --> 00:32:00,427 Now, I'm going to give you a shopping list and some money. 462 00:32:00,427 --> 00:32:03,027 We'll need just enough to get through the next year or two. 463 00:32:03,027 --> 00:32:04,527 You'll find most of these items... 464 00:32:04,527 --> 00:32:07,027 at what used to be called a grocery store... 465 00:32:07,027 --> 00:32:09,427 or a hardware store. Write that down. 466 00:32:09,427 --> 00:32:12,027 I don't know how far you'll have to travel to find supplies... 467 00:32:12,127 --> 00:32:13,927 but if you can't get home by nightfall... 468 00:32:14,027 --> 00:32:16,727 I want you to look for something called a Holiday lnn. 469 00:32:16,727 --> 00:32:18,527 It's a hotel. Write that down. 470 00:32:18,627 --> 00:32:20,627 There might still be one left standing. 471 00:32:23,627 --> 00:32:25,227 Well, let's get you packed. 472 00:32:25,227 --> 00:32:26,827 Right. 473 00:32:26,927 --> 00:32:28,927 Just hope this is still good up there. 474 00:32:29,127 --> 00:32:30,927 -Say, Mom? -Yes, dear? 475 00:32:31,027 --> 00:32:32,827 I was wondering... 476 00:32:32,827 --> 00:32:34,627 while I was up there and all... 477 00:32:34,727 --> 00:32:37,127 I was thinking, well, you know... 478 00:32:37,227 --> 00:32:38,827 I was wondering if maybe I could... 479 00:32:40,227 --> 00:32:41,427 meet a girl. 480 00:32:42,427 --> 00:32:44,827 I've been thinking about that a little. 481 00:32:44,827 --> 00:32:46,627 Just these last fifteen years or so. 482 00:32:46,727 --> 00:32:50,527 Adam, it would be wonderful if you could meet a girl... 483 00:32:50,527 --> 00:32:52,227 one who's not a mutant... 484 00:32:52,327 --> 00:32:53,927 and hopefully comes from Pasadena. 485 00:32:54,027 --> 00:32:56,927 Nothing against valley girls, but in my day anyhow... 486 00:32:56,927 --> 00:33:00,827 girls from Pasadena always seemed a little bit nicer. 487 00:33:00,827 --> 00:33:04,728 Oh, and, son, there's also something called a liquor store. 488 00:33:04,728 --> 00:33:05,928 Write that down. 489 00:33:07,228 --> 00:33:08,328 "Liquor store." 490 00:33:43,828 --> 00:33:45,328 Yes, father? 491 00:33:45,428 --> 00:33:46,628 Don't forget. 492 00:33:46,628 --> 00:33:51,628 Stay out of the adult book store. 493 00:33:54,228 --> 00:33:55,428 Why? 494 00:33:56,528 --> 00:33:58,428 Poison gas. 495 00:33:58,528 --> 00:34:00,528 Invisible. 496 00:34:02,128 --> 00:34:04,028 Don't forget. 497 00:34:04,028 --> 00:34:06,928 I promise. Is that all? 498 00:34:12,928 --> 00:34:14,228 One more thing. 499 00:34:17,028 --> 00:34:20,928 If you find a healthy young woman... 500 00:34:23,328 --> 00:34:25,328 bring her on down. 501 00:34:26,828 --> 00:34:28,128 Yes, sir. 502 00:34:50,728 --> 00:34:52,228 Are you all right? 503 00:34:54,428 --> 00:34:56,128 O Lord, yes. 504 00:34:56,128 --> 00:34:58,028 Are you the one who came last night... 505 00:34:58,128 --> 00:34:59,828 all in yellow? 506 00:35:02,128 --> 00:35:04,028 Oh, that was my father. 507 00:35:04,028 --> 00:35:06,928 Oh! Of course. The father. 508 00:35:07,928 --> 00:35:09,328 Forgive me. 509 00:35:09,328 --> 00:35:12,328 Can you forgive me for my wasted life? 510 00:35:12,328 --> 00:35:14,328 Everything has been so awful. 511 00:35:14,428 --> 00:35:17,428 I know. It has been terrible... 512 00:35:17,528 --> 00:35:20,028 but it's not your fault. 513 00:35:20,128 --> 00:35:21,728 And now that all the decay is over with... 514 00:35:21,728 --> 00:35:23,428 things are going to get better. 515 00:35:23,428 --> 00:35:24,928 You understand? 516 00:35:29,928 --> 00:35:31,328 Well, I have to go now. 517 00:35:31,428 --> 00:35:33,428 Of course! Of course you do. 518 00:35:33,528 --> 00:35:35,128 I'll stay here and pray. 519 00:35:35,228 --> 00:35:37,229 Say, that's always a good idea. 520 00:35:39,229 --> 00:35:40,929 How do I leave this place? 521 00:35:41,729 --> 00:35:43,229 The front door is open. 522 00:35:44,529 --> 00:35:46,529 Will you be back? 523 00:35:47,529 --> 00:35:48,729 I promise. 524 00:36:26,629 --> 00:36:28,129 What? 525 00:36:28,229 --> 00:36:29,329 What is it? 526 00:36:30,229 --> 00:36:31,429 The sky. 527 00:36:32,329 --> 00:36:34,229 The sky? Where? 528 00:36:34,229 --> 00:36:35,429 Up there. 529 00:36:36,429 --> 00:36:37,729 I don't see anything. 530 00:36:37,729 --> 00:36:38,929 Just look! 531 00:36:38,929 --> 00:36:40,229 What is it? 532 00:36:41,329 --> 00:36:43,329 He says he sees something. 533 00:36:47,729 --> 00:36:49,329 What is it? 534 00:36:49,329 --> 00:36:50,829 I see it, Mommy! 535 00:36:50,829 --> 00:36:54,329 I have never in my life seen anything like it before. 536 00:36:55,129 --> 00:36:56,329 Or like you. 537 00:37:04,129 --> 00:37:05,229 What are you lookin' at? 538 00:37:05,229 --> 00:37:08,729 Oh, my lucky stars, a Negro. 539 00:37:08,729 --> 00:37:09,929 Say what? 540 00:37:09,929 --> 00:37:11,329 How do you do, ma'am? 541 00:37:11,429 --> 00:37:13,029 I do all right. 542 00:37:14,229 --> 00:37:15,329 Good. 543 00:37:18,729 --> 00:37:20,529 What is it? 544 00:37:20,629 --> 00:37:21,729 What do you see? 545 00:37:21,729 --> 00:37:23,329 We were just looking at the-- 546 00:37:24,229 --> 00:37:25,829 -Oh, no! -What? 547 00:37:25,929 --> 00:37:27,929 Poisonous gas! Run for your life! 548 00:37:28,029 --> 00:37:31,729 Run! Run for your life! lnvisible poisonous gas! 549 00:37:36,829 --> 00:37:38,029 You know-- 550 00:37:41,029 --> 00:37:42,229 I just want to say... 551 00:37:43,729 --> 00:37:45,129 I think he's going to be fine. 552 00:37:46,729 --> 00:37:48,629 Thank you, Calvin. 553 00:37:48,729 --> 00:37:50,129 Thank you very much. 554 00:37:50,129 --> 00:37:51,629 He's smart. 555 00:37:51,629 --> 00:37:53,029 Yes, dear, I know... 556 00:37:54,429 --> 00:37:56,229 but he's still such a baby. 557 00:37:57,329 --> 00:37:59,129 He's a man. 558 00:37:59,129 --> 00:38:01,929 Oh, he's a baby man. 559 00:38:02,829 --> 00:38:05,429 I tried to give the driver this... 560 00:38:05,429 --> 00:38:06,930 but he wouldn't take it. 561 00:38:08,730 --> 00:38:10,030 He seems kind of angry. 562 00:38:11,130 --> 00:38:12,830 A lot of people do. 563 00:38:12,830 --> 00:38:15,330 Oh, boy. Here we go. 564 00:38:16,130 --> 00:38:18,730 Hold on, everyone! Hold on! 565 00:38:18,830 --> 00:38:20,130 Wow! 566 00:38:21,330 --> 00:38:23,330 So this is public transportation. 567 00:38:23,530 --> 00:38:25,530 My father says it becomes more and more important... 568 00:38:25,530 --> 00:38:27,830 because of pollution, which is more and more... 569 00:38:27,830 --> 00:38:29,830 carbon dioxide and other hazardous gases in the air. 570 00:38:32,530 --> 00:38:34,330 Do you have a gun, by the way? 571 00:38:37,430 --> 00:38:40,530 Oh. Well, thank you for not waving it around. 572 00:38:40,630 --> 00:38:42,330 And for not vomiting, for that matter. 573 00:38:43,530 --> 00:38:46,030 Say, do you know where I could find a grocery store? 574 00:38:47,330 --> 00:38:49,830 I have to find that. That and a hardware store... 575 00:38:49,830 --> 00:38:51,830 a liquor store, and a standing Holiday lnn. 576 00:38:52,130 --> 00:38:55,830 There's a grocery store up the street. 577 00:38:55,930 --> 00:38:57,030 -Where? -Up there! 578 00:38:57,130 --> 00:38:59,730 Oh. Thank you. Driver, please stop the bus immediately! 579 00:38:59,730 --> 00:39:01,030 I wish to get off! 580 00:39:01,630 --> 00:39:03,430 Please stop the bus, sir! 581 00:39:08,230 --> 00:39:10,830 -Paper or plastic? -Paper, please. 582 00:39:10,930 --> 00:39:12,030 Do you have a club card? 583 00:39:15,430 --> 00:39:17,230 I need a price check on register four... 584 00:39:17,230 --> 00:39:19,630 Diet Dr. Pepper, six-pack. 585 00:39:28,030 --> 00:39:29,430 Don't talk to strangers. 586 00:39:29,430 --> 00:39:33,030 Manager to the front for check approval, register one. 587 00:39:33,030 --> 00:39:34,230 Can I help you? 588 00:39:34,230 --> 00:39:37,730 Oh, yes. I'd like to get some all-beef patties. 589 00:39:37,730 --> 00:39:38,930 Fresh or frozen? 590 00:39:39,830 --> 00:39:41,830 Come on. Frozen. 591 00:39:42,130 --> 00:39:43,330 How much are they? 592 00:39:44,430 --> 00:39:47,330 Frozen? Six-thirty a dozen in a three-pound box. 593 00:39:47,330 --> 00:39:49,330 Twelve into nine hundred is seventy-five. 594 00:39:49,530 --> 00:39:52,330 That's almost five hundred dollars just for the hamburger. 595 00:39:53,330 --> 00:39:55,930 My mother only gave me three thousand dollars for everything. 596 00:39:55,930 --> 00:39:57,930 The yacht batteries, the pipe tobacco... 597 00:39:57,930 --> 00:39:59,930 the diesel oil, the bleach... 598 00:39:59,930 --> 00:40:01,430 the floss, the birthday candles-- 599 00:40:01,430 --> 00:40:03,930 You could get a meat order that big delivered to your home. 600 00:40:04,030 --> 00:40:05,330 Really? 601 00:40:05,330 --> 00:40:06,630 Sure. 602 00:40:06,630 --> 00:40:08,630 Oh, that's terrific. 603 00:40:10,430 --> 00:40:13,630 Except it just occurred to me that I don't know where home is. 604 00:40:15,230 --> 00:40:17,130 I'm lost. 605 00:40:17,130 --> 00:40:18,330 Do you know where I live? 606 00:40:19,430 --> 00:40:20,730 Will you please excuse me? 607 00:40:20,730 --> 00:40:22,030 Gladly. 608 00:40:22,830 --> 00:40:24,030 Thank you. 609 00:40:48,731 --> 00:40:50,731 Driver, please stop the bus! 610 00:41:23,031 --> 00:41:24,431 The name's Adam Webber... 611 00:41:24,531 --> 00:41:27,031 and I see that you buy baseball cards. 612 00:41:27,031 --> 00:41:28,931 Although these are a lot older than the ones in the window... 613 00:41:29,031 --> 00:41:31,031 I was hoping that you still might be interested. 614 00:41:34,031 --> 00:41:36,031 How much you want for this Mickey Mantle rookie season? 615 00:41:36,131 --> 00:41:39,231 Well, I was hoping to sell all of the cards. 616 00:41:39,331 --> 00:41:41,631 Really? No kidding? 617 00:41:41,631 --> 00:41:43,131 All I have are hundred-dollar bills... 618 00:41:43,231 --> 00:41:44,731 and I need something smaller. 619 00:41:44,731 --> 00:41:46,431 Ones, tens, fives. 620 00:41:46,431 --> 00:41:48,931 I see what you mean. Tell you what. 621 00:41:48,931 --> 00:41:52,431 How about I give you five hundred in small bills... 622 00:41:52,431 --> 00:41:53,731 for the whole box? 623 00:41:55,331 --> 00:41:56,631 That would be wonderful. 624 00:41:56,631 --> 00:41:58,131 Aw, shit. 625 00:42:00,031 --> 00:42:02,731 I'm working here, Evie-poo. Don't screw me up. 626 00:42:02,731 --> 00:42:05,231 Yeah, I can see you're working, all right. 627 00:42:07,731 --> 00:42:08,831 Bon soir, mademoiselle. 628 00:42:08,931 --> 00:42:10,431 Oh, you're French? 629 00:42:12,531 --> 00:42:14,131 I'm from out of town. 630 00:42:14,231 --> 00:42:15,331 I'm here on business. 631 00:42:15,431 --> 00:42:17,431 Well, your business must not be sports memorabilia... 632 00:42:17,631 --> 00:42:19,631 because this one Mantle card right here-- 633 00:42:19,731 --> 00:42:23,231 worth six thousand dollars all by its itty-bitty self. 634 00:42:23,231 --> 00:42:24,831 Get out of here! 635 00:42:24,831 --> 00:42:26,331 No, you get out of here. 636 00:42:26,331 --> 00:42:29,131 Terrific. You're fired. 637 00:42:29,131 --> 00:42:31,831 -I quit. -No, no, no. I fired you. 638 00:42:31,831 --> 00:42:34,531 Just like the hair salon guy and the Chevy dealer. 639 00:42:34,631 --> 00:42:37,431 You know why you can't keep a goddamn job? 640 00:42:37,431 --> 00:42:40,131 'Cause you can't keep your goddamn mouth shut! 641 00:42:40,231 --> 00:42:42,631 Excuse me, sir, but I'd really appreciate it... 642 00:42:42,731 --> 00:42:45,031 if you wouldn't take the Lord's name in vain again. 643 00:42:45,131 --> 00:42:47,131 You got a problem with that, partner? 644 00:42:47,331 --> 00:42:50,831 Yes. I have a big problem with that. 645 00:42:51,831 --> 00:42:54,631 Come on, Heathcliff. I'll walk you out. 646 00:42:55,831 --> 00:42:57,831 Yes, ma'am, but my name's Adam. 647 00:42:59,431 --> 00:43:01,931 Adam and Eve, the perfect match. 648 00:43:01,931 --> 00:43:04,231 I hope the two of you will be very happy together. 649 00:43:04,231 --> 00:43:05,931 Mazel-fucking-tov. 650 00:43:05,931 --> 00:43:07,832 And don't come back, neither, miss big shot. 651 00:43:07,932 --> 00:43:09,032 I'm serious this time. 652 00:43:09,132 --> 00:43:10,732 You're finished in the hobby business. 653 00:43:10,732 --> 00:43:11,932 Where are we going? 654 00:43:11,932 --> 00:43:14,832 We? I'm going home. Judging by that coat... 655 00:43:14,832 --> 00:43:16,732 you have to get back to the barber college. 656 00:43:16,732 --> 00:43:18,332 No. I'm lost. 657 00:43:18,432 --> 00:43:20,432 You're lost? 658 00:43:20,632 --> 00:43:22,632 Did you just lose your job back there because of me? 659 00:43:23,832 --> 00:43:26,332 Forget it. I'm sick of working for that dickhead. 660 00:43:26,332 --> 00:43:27,432 Dickhead? 661 00:43:27,532 --> 00:43:30,632 A walking penis capable of intelligent speech. 662 00:43:30,632 --> 00:43:32,132 A dickhead. 663 00:43:32,932 --> 00:43:34,632 What is wrong with you? 664 00:43:34,732 --> 00:43:36,332 I just had this mental picture-- 665 00:43:36,432 --> 00:43:37,632 Help me pick these up. 666 00:43:38,732 --> 00:43:40,732 Oh, thank you. 667 00:43:42,232 --> 00:43:43,732 Where are you parked? 668 00:43:43,732 --> 00:43:45,532 I came on a bus. 669 00:43:45,532 --> 00:43:47,132 Why does that not surprise me? 670 00:43:47,232 --> 00:43:49,132 Don't know. Why doesn't it surprise you? 671 00:43:49,232 --> 00:43:52,032 Well, I guess because I'm a little psychic. 672 00:43:52,132 --> 00:43:53,332 I have this thing. 673 00:43:53,432 --> 00:43:55,332 Oh, that's nice. 674 00:43:55,332 --> 00:43:56,832 Yeah. Let me guess. 675 00:43:56,832 --> 00:43:59,132 This is your first visit to la-la land. 676 00:43:59,232 --> 00:44:01,832 You're staying in Hollywood, because like an idiot... 677 00:44:01,832 --> 00:44:03,732 you thought that would be an exciting place to stay. 678 00:44:03,732 --> 00:44:05,732 -Am I right so far? -So far. 679 00:44:05,732 --> 00:44:07,732 -Yes, I'm right? -Right. 680 00:44:07,732 --> 00:44:09,032 I knew it. 681 00:44:09,132 --> 00:44:10,932 So you get on a bus and before you know it... 682 00:44:11,032 --> 00:44:13,032 you're stuck in the San Fernando Valley without a clue... 683 00:44:13,232 --> 00:44:14,832 which brings us to here. Correct again? 684 00:44:14,832 --> 00:44:16,032 Again. 685 00:44:16,032 --> 00:44:17,932 Where are you staying? 686 00:44:19,132 --> 00:44:20,332 The Holiday lnn. 687 00:44:22,832 --> 00:44:24,132 That's exactly right. 688 00:44:24,232 --> 00:44:27,132 See? I'm psychic. Not completely, but pretty much. 689 00:44:27,132 --> 00:44:28,532 Pretty good, huh? 690 00:44:28,632 --> 00:44:31,432 No, it was amazing. 691 00:44:31,532 --> 00:44:34,832 I know. Thanks. I'm gonna predict a bus for you. 692 00:44:34,932 --> 00:44:36,932 -You go down here-- -Do you own a car? 693 00:44:37,132 --> 00:44:38,232 Oh, no, sweetie. 694 00:44:38,332 --> 00:44:40,032 Rule number one in North America. 695 00:44:40,132 --> 00:44:41,932 No strangers in the car. 696 00:44:41,932 --> 00:44:43,432 If it'll make you feel any better... 697 00:44:43,432 --> 00:44:44,932 I don't have a gun. 698 00:44:45,532 --> 00:44:48,032 Oh. Well, that changes everything. 699 00:44:48,032 --> 00:44:49,332 Get away from me! 700 00:44:50,732 --> 00:44:53,332 I said something wrong. Please forgive me. 701 00:44:53,332 --> 00:44:55,732 -Get away from me! -I'll make you a deal! 702 00:44:55,832 --> 00:44:58,932 I will give you a Rogers Hornsby if you take me to the hotel! 703 00:45:01,432 --> 00:45:02,832 Rogers Hornsby? 704 00:45:03,432 --> 00:45:05,432 He's yours. I was holding him back. 705 00:45:05,732 --> 00:45:08,632 Rogers Hornsby's worth four thousand dollars. 706 00:45:08,632 --> 00:45:10,432 So what? I got two of them ! 707 00:45:10,432 --> 00:45:13,632 And this many Larry "Yogi" Berras... 708 00:45:13,632 --> 00:45:15,432 and... 709 00:45:15,532 --> 00:45:17,832 For four thousand dollars, all I have to do... 710 00:45:17,932 --> 00:45:19,032 is drive you to your hotel? 711 00:45:19,132 --> 00:45:20,832 -Uh-huh. -That's it? 712 00:45:20,832 --> 00:45:22,832 I don't have to take a physical on your spaceship? 713 00:45:23,032 --> 00:45:24,132 No, ma'am. 714 00:45:24,232 --> 00:45:25,832 What? 715 00:45:33,232 --> 00:45:35,832 So, Mr. Andretti, first time on the freeway? 716 00:45:35,932 --> 00:45:38,233 It's Webber. Adam Webber. 717 00:45:38,333 --> 00:45:41,233 Mind if I change the station? Better traffic reports on A.M. 718 00:45:41,233 --> 00:45:43,233 Sure. Wait! 719 00:45:43,533 --> 00:45:45,433 What? What is it? 720 00:45:45,433 --> 00:45:47,333 Go back. You had him. It's Perry. 721 00:45:49,333 --> 00:45:50,833 Perry Como. 722 00:45:50,833 --> 00:45:52,833 You had him. Go back. 723 00:45:54,433 --> 00:45:55,633 OK. Just-- 724 00:45:56,633 --> 00:45:58,633 -That's it. -There. 725 00:46:02,533 --> 00:46:05,833 I could die right now. 726 00:46:05,833 --> 00:46:07,133 Over this? 727 00:46:13,133 --> 00:46:14,333 Listen to this part. 728 00:46:15,333 --> 00:46:17,033 This is where it really takes off. 729 00:46:17,033 --> 00:46:19,033 Wait for it. There! 730 00:46:22,033 --> 00:46:25,033 You are one scary son of a gun. 731 00:46:39,133 --> 00:46:40,533 You better slow down. 732 00:46:40,533 --> 00:46:43,633 I can't help it. Perry Como always does this to me. 733 00:46:43,633 --> 00:46:46,033 I just get so cranked. 734 00:46:58,633 --> 00:47:00,133 Card, please. End of service. 735 00:47:00,833 --> 00:47:02,633 That was wonderful. 736 00:47:02,633 --> 00:47:05,233 I've never felt anything like that before in my life. 737 00:47:05,233 --> 00:47:07,133 Yeah, same here. Don't forget your suitcase. 738 00:47:09,533 --> 00:47:10,933 Thanks. You know-- 739 00:47:19,033 --> 00:47:20,433 I would like to stay at this hotel. 740 00:47:20,533 --> 00:47:23,433 Fill this out, please, and I'll need to see a card. 741 00:47:24,733 --> 00:47:25,933 A card? 742 00:47:26,033 --> 00:47:27,533 Yes, sir. 743 00:47:27,533 --> 00:47:30,533 Oh. Of course. 744 00:47:37,933 --> 00:47:39,433 OK, then. 745 00:47:40,933 --> 00:47:42,733 Bathroom's there... 746 00:47:42,733 --> 00:47:44,733 TV's there--remote is on top. 747 00:47:44,833 --> 00:47:46,733 Room service menu on the table. 748 00:47:48,333 --> 00:47:50,233 Wow. 749 00:48:01,133 --> 00:48:02,833 Oh, you dial nine to get out. 750 00:48:04,733 --> 00:48:05,833 Of what? 751 00:48:07,533 --> 00:48:09,034 The hotel. 752 00:48:10,734 --> 00:48:11,834 I see. 753 00:48:14,734 --> 00:48:17,234 Thank you. You've been very, very helpful. 754 00:48:17,234 --> 00:48:19,534 I managed to get some change downstairs... 755 00:48:19,634 --> 00:48:22,234 and my father taught me in situations like this... 756 00:48:22,234 --> 00:48:23,934 it's customary to give a tip. 757 00:48:24,934 --> 00:48:27,434 Your father's a smart guy. 758 00:48:27,534 --> 00:48:28,834 My father's a genius. 759 00:48:32,834 --> 00:48:36,534 All right, here's your key, and good night, sir. 760 00:48:36,534 --> 00:48:38,234 Good night. Sleep tight. 761 00:48:38,234 --> 00:48:41,334 Don't let the bedbugs bite. That's what my mom always says. 762 00:48:41,434 --> 00:48:43,234 Who I'm really beginning to miss, by the way. 763 00:48:44,634 --> 00:48:47,734 Sorry. It's my first night away from home. 764 00:48:48,934 --> 00:48:50,134 How old are you? 765 00:48:50,134 --> 00:48:52,034 Thirty-five. 766 00:48:53,534 --> 00:48:55,034 You don't look thirty-five. 767 00:48:55,134 --> 00:48:56,634 How old do I look? 768 00:48:56,734 --> 00:48:59,434 Oh, twenty-five, around there. 769 00:49:01,134 --> 00:49:03,134 I guess living up here makes people look older. 770 00:49:04,734 --> 00:49:06,734 Up here on the eighteenth floor? 771 00:49:07,634 --> 00:49:09,634 Yes, up here on the eighteenth floor. 772 00:49:09,934 --> 00:49:11,234 Good night. 773 00:49:26,834 --> 00:49:28,534 What the hell am I doing here? 774 00:49:28,634 --> 00:49:31,134 That's what I'd like to know. Somebody tell me that. 775 00:49:32,534 --> 00:49:35,234 Natural oils, tropical fruits... 776 00:49:35,234 --> 00:49:39,234 flora, nuts, and protective sunscreens... 777 00:49:39,234 --> 00:49:41,834 a complete sun-care line... 778 00:49:50,434 --> 00:49:53,134 Hi. This is the woman from the baseball card store. 779 00:49:53,234 --> 00:49:54,334 Remember me? 780 00:49:57,334 --> 00:49:59,034 Hot-diggety-dog! 781 00:49:59,134 --> 00:50:01,734 Thanks for calling me on the telephone. 782 00:50:09,334 --> 00:50:10,934 I'm so glad to see you. 783 00:50:11,034 --> 00:50:12,134 I thought I'd never see you again. 784 00:50:12,134 --> 00:50:14,034 OK, down, boy. 785 00:50:14,034 --> 00:50:17,134 Listen, I can't take this for driving you home. 786 00:50:17,234 --> 00:50:20,234 I wish I could, but I can't, so, here, take it back. 787 00:50:21,434 --> 00:50:22,934 I would have left it at the front desk... 788 00:50:22,934 --> 00:50:24,234 but it's very valuable. Take it. 789 00:50:24,334 --> 00:50:25,834 I can't take that. It's yours. 790 00:50:25,834 --> 00:50:27,334 Take it, damn it! 791 00:50:28,334 --> 00:50:30,334 Why are you doing that? 792 00:50:30,434 --> 00:50:32,034 Because I haven't brushed yet. 793 00:50:34,634 --> 00:50:37,434 Well, so long. Enjoy your visit. 794 00:50:37,434 --> 00:50:39,235 Wait. Eve, please wait. 795 00:50:39,235 --> 00:50:42,035 Please, do not follow me. Don't do it. 796 00:50:42,035 --> 00:50:44,935 I knew this would happen. You're like a lost puppy. 797 00:50:44,935 --> 00:50:48,135 Can't you talk to me for just one little second? 798 00:50:49,935 --> 00:50:52,335 Damn, I should have taken the money and run. 799 00:50:52,335 --> 00:50:55,035 That's what Troy told me to do, but did I listen? No. 800 00:50:55,935 --> 00:50:58,835 Will you put your hand down? 801 00:50:58,835 --> 00:51:01,635 Who's Troy? Is he your husband? 802 00:51:01,635 --> 00:51:03,535 Or a boyfriend? 803 00:51:04,135 --> 00:51:06,035 Thank you! 804 00:51:06,135 --> 00:51:08,735 Stop that! Don't do that! 805 00:51:08,835 --> 00:51:12,735 Listen, I know you like me, OK? I can tell. 806 00:51:12,735 --> 00:51:15,935 But, you know what? A lot of guys like me. 807 00:51:15,935 --> 00:51:18,835 Not me exactly. It's my legs or my butt or my hair... 808 00:51:18,835 --> 00:51:20,135 or some combination of the above. 809 00:51:20,135 --> 00:51:22,135 I think it's the eyes. 810 00:51:22,235 --> 00:51:24,535 The eyes? 811 00:51:24,635 --> 00:51:27,935 Great. An eye man. Anyhow, it never works out. 812 00:51:28,035 --> 00:51:30,335 OK? Not that you even need to know that. 813 00:51:30,435 --> 00:51:32,935 You look like crap. What have you been doing? 814 00:51:33,035 --> 00:51:35,735 Watching television in color. 815 00:51:37,435 --> 00:51:39,035 In color? No kidding. 816 00:51:39,135 --> 00:51:41,535 Cross my heart and hope to die. 817 00:51:41,635 --> 00:51:43,335 Yeah. See ya. 818 00:51:44,035 --> 00:51:45,535 Why doesn't it ever work out? 819 00:51:45,535 --> 00:51:46,635 What? 820 00:51:46,735 --> 00:51:48,535 Why doesn't it ever work out, you and men? 821 00:51:48,535 --> 00:51:50,535 Why? Who the hell knows? 822 00:51:51,635 --> 00:51:54,135 If you promise to leave me alone, I'll tell you why. 823 00:51:55,035 --> 00:51:56,135 It never works out... 824 00:51:56,135 --> 00:52:00,135 because I am into legs and hair and butts myself. 825 00:52:00,135 --> 00:52:01,935 So I wind up with guys who are very good-looking... 826 00:52:02,035 --> 00:52:04,835 but even more shallow than I am, if you can picture that. 827 00:52:04,835 --> 00:52:06,335 If you'll excuse me, I have to go find... 828 00:52:06,435 --> 00:52:07,835 another low-paying, demeaning job... 829 00:52:07,935 --> 00:52:09,935 where some guy named Jerry keeps telling me... 830 00:52:09,935 --> 00:52:11,635 how lousy his marriage is. 831 00:52:11,635 --> 00:52:13,935 -Why not go to work for me? -Doing what? 832 00:52:13,935 --> 00:52:15,535 Helping me sell all my baseball cards... 833 00:52:15,635 --> 00:52:16,735 and buying enough food and supplies... 834 00:52:16,835 --> 00:52:18,835 to fill several large trucks. 835 00:52:19,035 --> 00:52:20,535 Food and supplies? 836 00:52:20,535 --> 00:52:22,035 Who for, starving people? 837 00:52:22,135 --> 00:52:25,635 They're not starving yet, but they do need help. 838 00:52:25,635 --> 00:52:27,335 How long would you need me for? 839 00:52:27,335 --> 00:52:28,935 Two weeks. 840 00:52:28,935 --> 00:52:30,135 What's the pay? 841 00:52:30,135 --> 00:52:31,535 What's fair? 842 00:52:31,635 --> 00:52:34,935 I gotta make at least a thousand dollars a week. 843 00:52:40,035 --> 00:52:41,235 You got it. 844 00:52:41,935 --> 00:52:43,935 -Wait here while I get changed. -Sure. 845 00:52:55,435 --> 00:52:57,035 Here you go. 846 00:52:57,035 --> 00:52:58,535 Why would someone need... 847 00:52:58,635 --> 00:53:02,135 twenty-six yacht batteries? 848 00:53:02,135 --> 00:53:04,735 I don't know. I just work for the guy. 849 00:53:04,735 --> 00:53:07,035 And who does he work for, the CIA? 850 00:53:07,035 --> 00:53:08,735 Pipe tobacco. 851 00:53:10,236 --> 00:53:11,836 I'm going to need all of this. 852 00:53:14,436 --> 00:53:16,336 Toilet paper. 853 00:53:18,436 --> 00:53:19,636 Is there a sale? 854 00:53:36,036 --> 00:53:38,036 Well, another day, another dollar. 855 00:53:45,436 --> 00:53:46,836 Will you stop staring at me? 856 00:53:46,836 --> 00:53:48,036 Sorry. 857 00:53:48,936 --> 00:53:50,336 I'll pick you up at 8:00 in the morning. 858 00:53:54,536 --> 00:53:55,736 You know, Eve, I was thinking-- 859 00:53:55,836 --> 00:53:56,936 Good night. 860 00:54:17,336 --> 00:54:19,236 We'll need to rent a refrigerated truck... 861 00:54:19,236 --> 00:54:21,236 for the beef and poultry. 862 00:54:21,336 --> 00:54:23,236 Well, it's your life. 863 00:54:23,236 --> 00:54:25,236 And by the way, it's a dandy. 864 00:54:28,036 --> 00:54:30,436 Think we're also going to have to get another locker. 865 00:54:31,136 --> 00:54:33,536 It's no problem. We'll just sell another baseball card. 866 00:54:35,136 --> 00:54:36,436 Coming down. 867 00:54:46,536 --> 00:54:47,736 You know, Eve... 868 00:54:48,736 --> 00:54:50,636 And--and don't get mad, OK, but... 869 00:54:52,136 --> 00:54:54,836 I would just be lost without you. 870 00:54:58,136 --> 00:54:59,436 Thanks. 871 00:55:01,536 --> 00:55:03,036 And I guess... 872 00:55:04,036 --> 00:55:05,436 I guess that... 873 00:55:05,536 --> 00:55:06,636 I think that you and l-- 874 00:55:06,636 --> 00:55:08,636 Adam, don't even think about it, OK? 875 00:55:08,836 --> 00:55:11,136 I'm sorry. I know that sounds mean... 876 00:55:11,136 --> 00:55:13,636 but it would be a lot meaner if I didn't say it, OK? 877 00:55:16,236 --> 00:55:18,236 Let's take this truck back, and I'm hungry. 878 00:55:22,336 --> 00:55:23,436 Are you getting in? 879 00:55:29,036 --> 00:55:30,636 There's something else I'd like you to help me with. 880 00:55:30,736 --> 00:55:31,836 Name it. 881 00:55:31,936 --> 00:55:34,636 I'm afraid this is going to sound a little bit crazy. 882 00:55:34,636 --> 00:55:36,636 I'm sure it will. 883 00:55:36,736 --> 00:55:37,836 Then forget it. 884 00:55:37,936 --> 00:55:40,637 No, no. I'm sorry. 885 00:55:40,637 --> 00:55:41,837 What is it? 886 00:55:43,337 --> 00:55:45,037 Eve, I want you to help me find... 887 00:55:45,837 --> 00:55:46,937 a wife. 888 00:55:47,037 --> 00:55:49,537 -A wife? -Yes. 889 00:55:49,537 --> 00:55:50,737 What for? 890 00:55:50,737 --> 00:55:52,737 Because I want to get married. 891 00:55:52,937 --> 00:55:54,537 Why? 892 00:55:54,537 --> 00:55:56,237 Because I don't want to be alone. 893 00:55:56,237 --> 00:55:58,237 Well, you can be single and not alone. 894 00:55:58,337 --> 00:56:00,737 Marriage bites. 895 00:56:00,737 --> 00:56:03,037 -Bites what? -The big one. 896 00:56:03,137 --> 00:56:04,437 It does? 897 00:56:04,437 --> 00:56:05,537 Sure. 898 00:56:05,637 --> 00:56:06,737 Oh. I didn't know that. 899 00:56:06,837 --> 00:56:08,537 Everybody knows that. 900 00:56:08,637 --> 00:56:11,237 I mean, ask my divorced brothers... 901 00:56:11,237 --> 00:56:13,237 or my divorced mom and dad. 902 00:56:13,337 --> 00:56:15,337 Everybody knows that. 903 00:56:15,437 --> 00:56:16,737 They're all divorced? 904 00:56:16,737 --> 00:56:18,737 Everybody's divorced. 905 00:56:23,737 --> 00:56:25,437 What kind of wife you looking for? 906 00:56:25,437 --> 00:56:27,237 Oh, um, well... 907 00:56:28,437 --> 00:56:29,837 one who's not a mutant. 908 00:56:30,837 --> 00:56:32,037 No dogs, huh? 909 00:56:32,037 --> 00:56:33,737 OK. Cool. 910 00:56:35,037 --> 00:56:36,537 And if it's possible... 911 00:56:36,537 --> 00:56:38,937 I'd like to marry someone from Pasadena. 912 00:56:44,437 --> 00:56:46,937 Um, when do you need her by? 913 00:56:48,737 --> 00:56:49,937 Two weeks? 914 00:56:50,837 --> 00:56:52,737 Well, I can probably get you laid in two weeks... 915 00:56:52,737 --> 00:56:56,737 but to locate a non-mutant wife from Pasadena... 916 00:56:56,737 --> 00:56:58,037 will take some time. 917 00:56:59,537 --> 00:57:00,937 That's what I was afraid of. 918 00:57:07,037 --> 00:57:09,437 What do you mean, you can get me laid? 919 00:57:11,837 --> 00:57:13,437 Uh, can we talk about that a little later? 920 00:57:13,537 --> 00:57:15,137 -Of course. -Great. 921 00:57:17,937 --> 00:57:20,537 Lord, bless this food we are about to receive... 922 00:57:20,537 --> 00:57:23,437 and make us ever mindful of the needs of others. 923 00:57:23,537 --> 00:57:24,937 And bless my mom... 924 00:57:24,937 --> 00:57:26,037 and bless my dad... 925 00:57:26,137 --> 00:57:28,137 and bless my new friend Eve. 926 00:57:28,337 --> 00:57:29,537 Amen. 927 00:57:40,237 --> 00:57:41,337 Get out. 928 00:57:41,337 --> 00:57:43,737 -The engine is still running. -Now! Get out! 929 00:57:43,737 --> 00:57:44,837 Yes, ma'am. 930 00:57:44,937 --> 00:57:46,437 -Stop the "Ma'am" crap. -Sorry. 931 00:57:48,137 --> 00:57:49,637 You almost got us killed. 932 00:57:49,637 --> 00:57:51,437 I told you, I've never driven before. 933 00:57:51,537 --> 00:57:53,037 Well, never drive again. 934 00:57:53,137 --> 00:57:55,137 You said it would be easy. 935 00:57:55,237 --> 00:57:56,737 Well, I was wrong! 936 00:57:57,837 --> 00:57:59,737 -Say, is this your house? -Yes. 937 00:57:59,737 --> 00:58:00,837 I like it. 938 00:58:00,937 --> 00:58:02,837 What are you bitching about now? 939 00:58:03,537 --> 00:58:04,837 What are you doing here? 940 00:58:04,837 --> 00:58:06,537 I forgot some of my stuff. 941 00:58:06,537 --> 00:58:08,537 -Your stuff? -Yeah. 942 00:58:08,537 --> 00:58:09,837 Let me see that. 943 00:58:10,738 --> 00:58:12,738 Oh, you came back for your underwear. 944 00:58:12,938 --> 00:58:15,838 Excuse me. These are Ralph Laurens. 945 00:58:15,938 --> 00:58:17,138 How'd you get in? 946 00:58:18,638 --> 00:58:19,738 Thanks. 947 00:58:20,538 --> 00:58:23,038 And who's this interesting looking fellow? 948 00:58:23,038 --> 00:58:24,138 This is Adam. 949 00:58:24,238 --> 00:58:25,738 Adam, this is Cliff. 950 00:58:25,738 --> 00:58:27,438 How do you do? 951 00:58:27,438 --> 00:58:28,938 I do fine, Adam. 952 00:58:29,038 --> 00:58:31,338 How about yourself? You, uh... 953 00:58:31,338 --> 00:58:33,038 doing any good lately? 954 00:58:33,038 --> 00:58:35,538 Go home, Cliff, wherever that might be. 955 00:58:35,538 --> 00:58:37,138 Sheena Gilroy's apartment. 956 00:58:37,138 --> 00:58:40,638 You remember her. She's the model who went to Harvard. 957 00:58:43,138 --> 00:58:45,038 Well, I'd better be going. 958 00:58:45,038 --> 00:58:46,338 Bye, Adam. 959 00:58:46,438 --> 00:58:48,438 -Nice coat. -Thank you, Cliff. 960 00:58:48,438 --> 00:58:49,938 It was very nice to meet you. 961 00:58:50,038 --> 00:58:51,638 That's a nice parking job, too. 962 00:58:52,538 --> 00:58:54,038 May I ask you a question? 963 00:58:54,138 --> 00:58:55,238 He's a former boyfriend. 964 00:58:55,238 --> 00:58:56,738 We lived together for about six months... 965 00:58:56,738 --> 00:58:59,138 and, yes, I still have sort of a thing for him. 966 00:58:59,138 --> 00:59:01,438 That's what you wanted to know, isn't it? 967 00:59:01,438 --> 00:59:03,138 No. I was going to ask you... 968 00:59:03,138 --> 00:59:05,838 why Cliff likes to wear another man's underpants. 969 00:59:05,838 --> 00:59:07,038 What? 970 00:59:21,238 --> 00:59:23,638 This guy is unbelievable. 971 00:59:24,738 --> 00:59:25,838 I knew you'd like him. 972 00:59:25,838 --> 00:59:28,138 I know. It's like he's from "X Files" or something. 973 00:59:28,138 --> 00:59:31,338 He's got all these easily negotiable properties, right? 974 00:59:31,438 --> 00:59:32,738 And he's obviously setting up something big-- 975 00:59:32,738 --> 00:59:35,638 maybe a self-sustaining island off the coast of South America. 976 00:59:35,638 --> 00:59:36,738 Or maybe he's the leader of some cult... 977 00:59:36,838 --> 00:59:40,238 that's into practices involving poultry and pipe tobacco. 978 00:59:47,038 --> 00:59:48,938 You have very nice ceilings. 979 00:59:49,038 --> 00:59:50,638 -Do l? -Mm-hmm. 980 00:59:51,338 --> 00:59:52,538 Well... 981 00:59:53,538 --> 00:59:55,338 you like ceilings? 982 00:59:55,438 --> 00:59:56,638 Not particularly. 983 00:59:57,738 --> 00:59:59,238 Ah. Well, I hope you like this. 984 00:59:59,238 --> 01:00:01,938 It's fresh sea urchin wrapped in seaweed. 985 01:00:02,038 --> 01:00:03,138 I love sushi. 986 01:00:04,038 --> 01:00:05,238 I love Lucy. 987 01:00:05,238 --> 01:00:08,038 Who doesn't? She's hilarious. 988 01:00:08,838 --> 01:00:11,238 Here you go-- one champagne cocktail. 989 01:00:11,238 --> 01:00:12,438 Oh, thank you. 990 01:00:12,438 --> 01:00:14,438 I thought only hookers drank those things. 991 01:00:14,638 --> 01:00:17,038 Well, I know Mom sure likes them. 992 01:00:21,538 --> 01:00:24,038 Well, dinner's in fifteen. Why don't we sit down and chat? 993 01:00:25,738 --> 01:00:27,338 So, Troy, what do you do for a living? 994 01:00:27,338 --> 01:00:29,338 Oh, I design web sites. 995 01:00:32,038 --> 01:00:33,138 And, Adam... 996 01:00:34,138 --> 01:00:35,738 where on Earth are you from? 997 01:00:35,738 --> 01:00:37,238 Out of town. That's all he'll say. 998 01:00:37,238 --> 01:00:39,238 It's a very small place. 999 01:00:39,338 --> 01:00:40,939 People don't even know it's there. 1000 01:00:41,739 --> 01:00:43,139 And it's called? 1001 01:00:43,139 --> 01:00:45,539 Maybe Eve can guess. 1002 01:00:45,539 --> 01:00:46,739 She's psychic. 1003 01:00:46,739 --> 01:00:48,339 Is she? 1004 01:00:48,339 --> 01:00:49,539 Since when? 1005 01:00:49,539 --> 01:00:52,039 Since I got rear-ended in Palm Springs. 1006 01:00:52,039 --> 01:00:53,339 Well, then, Miss Dionne Warwick... 1007 01:00:53,439 --> 01:00:54,939 why don't you tell us what town he's from? 1008 01:00:55,939 --> 01:00:57,939 All right. Give me your hand. 1009 01:00:59,739 --> 01:01:01,039 Oh, Lord. 1010 01:01:03,739 --> 01:01:05,039 I'm not promising anything. 1011 01:01:07,739 --> 01:01:09,339 -Are you OK? -Mm-hmm. 1012 01:01:13,739 --> 01:01:15,639 I see snow-- 1013 01:01:16,939 --> 01:01:18,939 Iots of snow... 1014 01:01:19,039 --> 01:01:20,639 way up north. 1015 01:01:21,239 --> 01:01:22,839 Are we getting hot? 1016 01:01:23,839 --> 01:01:24,839 Yes... 1017 01:01:27,639 --> 01:01:29,639 You live in Alaska... 1018 01:01:29,639 --> 01:01:32,539 and the only way in and out of your place is by plane. 1019 01:01:33,739 --> 01:01:36,739 And you definitely came here for food and supplies... 1020 01:01:36,739 --> 01:01:38,239 and to find a wife. 1021 01:01:41,639 --> 01:01:43,039 That was right? 1022 01:01:43,039 --> 01:01:45,039 Got goosebumps all over me. 1023 01:01:45,039 --> 01:01:46,839 I'm clairvoyant, butthead. 1024 01:01:46,839 --> 01:01:49,339 Why wouldn't you just go to Nome... 1025 01:01:49,439 --> 01:01:50,739 to get supplies and a wife? 1026 01:01:50,839 --> 01:01:52,139 Isn't that a lot closer? 1027 01:01:52,239 --> 01:01:55,339 Yeah, right. That's where you'd go to find girls-- 1028 01:01:55,339 --> 01:01:56,839 Nome. 1029 01:01:56,839 --> 01:01:58,439 He's gay, by the way. 1030 01:01:59,739 --> 01:02:01,439 Well, good for you. 1031 01:02:02,739 --> 01:02:04,739 Well, we try. 1032 01:02:04,839 --> 01:02:06,339 Can I ask you some questions? 1033 01:02:08,339 --> 01:02:10,239 When did Alaska become a state? 1034 01:02:10,239 --> 01:02:11,439 1959. 1035 01:02:11,439 --> 01:02:13,939 And who owned it before we did? 1036 01:02:14,039 --> 01:02:15,439 Russia. 1037 01:02:15,439 --> 01:02:16,939 And when did we get it from them? 1038 01:02:16,939 --> 01:02:18,839 1867--Seward's folly. 1039 01:02:18,839 --> 01:02:21,839 We purchased it for seven point two million dollars-- 1040 01:02:21,839 --> 01:02:23,639 a tidy sum then as well as now. 1041 01:02:23,739 --> 01:02:25,539 I'm quoting my father, of course. 1042 01:02:25,539 --> 01:02:27,339 All right, what's the state capital? 1043 01:02:27,339 --> 01:02:28,539 Juneau. 1044 01:02:28,539 --> 01:02:30,939 Hello? It's Anchorage. Gotcha. 1045 01:02:32,139 --> 01:02:34,139 Sorry. That's the largest city. 1046 01:02:40,439 --> 01:02:41,639 Where's he going? 1047 01:02:41,639 --> 01:02:44,339 He's going to check your answers on his computer. 1048 01:02:45,539 --> 01:02:46,839 He has a computer? 1049 01:02:46,939 --> 01:02:48,939 -Sure. -In the house? 1050 01:02:49,039 --> 01:02:51,039 No, actually, it's in the backyard. 1051 01:02:51,239 --> 01:02:52,939 Of course it's in the house. It's in there. 1052 01:02:52,939 --> 01:02:54,039 May I be excused, please? 1053 01:02:55,939 --> 01:02:57,139 Thank you. 1054 01:03:47,740 --> 01:03:49,040 Who are you? 1055 01:03:51,040 --> 01:03:52,140 I'm the mother. 1056 01:03:52,240 --> 01:03:53,740 It's the mother! 1057 01:04:12,140 --> 01:04:13,940 Troy, I suppose those tall buildings... 1058 01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:15,740 we saw this morning are new? 1059 01:04:15,740 --> 01:04:18,240 Yeah. Almost all of them, anyway. 1060 01:04:18,240 --> 01:04:19,840 The recovery's impressive. 1061 01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:21,040 Recovery? 1062 01:04:21,040 --> 01:04:24,740 Oh, yeah. They rebuilt the freeway in only six months. 1063 01:04:24,740 --> 01:04:26,540 -Really? -Uh-huh. 1064 01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:28,640 That's amazing. I'm very impressed. 1065 01:04:28,740 --> 01:04:30,740 -Oh, well, that's impressive. -Are you sure I look OK? 1066 01:04:30,840 --> 01:04:32,740 Oh, trust me, you look fabulous. 1067 01:04:32,840 --> 01:04:33,940 Thank you, Troy. 1068 01:04:40,240 --> 01:04:42,540 So, what do you think? 1069 01:04:43,540 --> 01:04:44,740 It works. 1070 01:04:44,740 --> 01:04:46,740 Maybe I should show you the entire trousseau-- 1071 01:04:46,940 --> 01:04:48,840 shirts, sweaters, socks, the whole thing. 1072 01:04:48,940 --> 01:04:50,440 No. First, let's show her these. 1073 01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:55,040 Eve, can I skate around your block? 1074 01:04:56,840 --> 01:04:58,540 How about it, Eve? 1075 01:04:58,540 --> 01:05:00,540 Can he skate around your block? 1076 01:05:02,540 --> 01:05:04,840 Just a few laps. 1077 01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:06,040 It won't take long. 1078 01:05:25,540 --> 01:05:26,740 Look. 1079 01:05:37,640 --> 01:05:39,940 Adam, will you go skate on the bike path? 1080 01:05:40,040 --> 01:05:42,441 -Where? -The bike path. It's over there. 1081 01:05:45,441 --> 01:05:47,141 God, I wish I could wear those pants. 1082 01:07:46,841 --> 01:07:48,741 All right, girl, hit that ball. 1083 01:07:59,141 --> 01:08:00,741 I get it. 1084 01:08:00,741 --> 01:08:02,741 I finally get it. 1085 01:08:02,941 --> 01:08:05,641 You have to see it to understand it. 1086 01:08:07,741 --> 01:08:09,241 Because he must. 1087 01:08:20,442 --> 01:08:22,042 Haven't you ever heard the saying... 1088 01:08:22,142 --> 01:08:24,542 "He hasn't got enough sense to come in out of the rain"? 1089 01:08:26,142 --> 01:08:27,942 You know... 1090 01:08:27,942 --> 01:08:31,242 my father, who is a scientist... 1091 01:08:31,242 --> 01:08:33,842 says that everything is a miracle. 1092 01:08:34,842 --> 01:08:36,142 Everything. 1093 01:08:36,142 --> 01:08:39,342 Until recently, I wasn't sure what he meant by that. 1094 01:08:39,442 --> 01:08:40,942 No kidding. Listen... 1095 01:08:41,042 --> 01:08:42,942 you still want to go girl hunting tonight? 1096 01:08:42,942 --> 01:08:44,342 Oh, yes, I certainly do. 1097 01:08:46,842 --> 01:08:48,042 But, I mean, you know... 1098 01:08:48,042 --> 01:08:49,442 this whole business of finding you a wife... 1099 01:08:49,542 --> 01:08:51,042 it's pretty ridiculous, don't you think? 1100 01:08:51,142 --> 01:08:53,142 -No, it isn't. -Yes, it is. 1101 01:08:54,442 --> 01:08:56,442 A girlfriend, maybe, but a wife, it's... 1102 01:08:56,742 --> 01:08:58,042 Well, then help me find a girlfriend. 1103 01:08:58,042 --> 01:08:59,442 That's all I ask. 1104 01:08:59,442 --> 01:09:01,742 I'll tell you what. I'll give you every single card I've got. 1105 01:09:02,642 --> 01:09:05,442 Screw you. You think I'm just somebody you can buy off? 1106 01:09:05,442 --> 01:09:06,842 I didn't mean that at all. 1107 01:09:06,842 --> 01:09:08,842 Eve, you're my best friend. 1108 01:09:08,942 --> 01:09:11,642 Would you do it because you're my very best friend? 1109 01:09:21,242 --> 01:09:22,742 Thank you, Eve. 1110 01:09:31,342 --> 01:09:33,042 Well, why did we park way back there? 1111 01:09:34,842 --> 01:09:37,442 She doesn't allow total strangers to drive her car. 1112 01:09:40,142 --> 01:09:42,442 -What? -Ladies first, Troy. 1113 01:09:42,442 --> 01:09:44,242 -That was close. -Uh-huh. 1114 01:09:45,142 --> 01:09:48,542 My goodness gracious, this place is something. 1115 01:09:48,642 --> 01:09:49,842 Look unimpressed. 1116 01:09:49,842 --> 01:09:51,342 Yeah, bored, even. 1117 01:09:53,242 --> 01:09:55,742 Try vaguely bored. 1118 01:09:55,842 --> 01:09:58,142 Unimpressed, but still interested. 1119 01:10:00,342 --> 01:10:01,442 Not crazy. 1120 01:10:01,542 --> 01:10:02,942 -Do I look crazy? -Yes. 1121 01:10:03,042 --> 01:10:05,442 Just, uh, be loose. 1122 01:10:06,942 --> 01:10:09,742 -Just be yourself. -That's always good advice. 1123 01:10:09,742 --> 01:10:12,342 Well, for him. It doesn't work with the rest of us. 1124 01:10:15,442 --> 01:10:19,142 Of all the clubs in all the towns in all the world... 1125 01:10:19,142 --> 01:10:20,542 you walk into mine. 1126 01:10:20,642 --> 01:10:22,442 So welcome to Club 40's... 1127 01:10:22,442 --> 01:10:24,942 where the party never stops. 1128 01:10:24,942 --> 01:10:26,142 Ah, Jason, Jonathan... 1129 01:10:26,242 --> 01:10:27,842 this is Adam. Adam, that's them. 1130 01:10:27,942 --> 01:10:29,242 Hi. How do you do? 1131 01:10:29,342 --> 01:10:32,642 It's very nice to meet you, Jason and Jonathan. 1132 01:10:32,642 --> 01:10:33,842 My mother always said... 1133 01:10:33,842 --> 01:10:35,542 that when you meet someone for the first time... 1134 01:10:35,642 --> 01:10:37,642 it's always easier to remember their names... 1135 01:10:37,742 --> 01:10:40,942 if you use those names right away, Jason and Jonathan. 1136 01:10:42,342 --> 01:10:43,843 He's from Alaska. 1137 01:10:46,943 --> 01:10:48,143 Hi there, Eve. 1138 01:10:48,143 --> 01:10:49,443 Who's the hunk? 1139 01:10:49,543 --> 01:10:50,843 Get lost, Sophie. 1140 01:10:50,843 --> 01:10:52,443 Hi. I'm Sophie. 1141 01:10:52,443 --> 01:10:54,243 Hi. How do you do? I'm Adam Webber. 1142 01:10:54,243 --> 01:10:55,543 Adam lives in Alaska. 1143 01:10:55,643 --> 01:10:56,843 No shit? 1144 01:10:56,843 --> 01:10:59,443 -Vous parlez français? -Oui. 1145 01:10:59,443 --> 01:11:01,043 Moi, je parle un peu français. 1146 01:11:01,043 --> 01:11:02,843 Oh, you speak beautiful French. 1147 01:11:02,943 --> 01:11:04,743 J'ai habite à paris un an. 1148 01:11:04,743 --> 01:11:06,443 Paris-- c'est la vie des lumieres... 1149 01:11:06,443 --> 01:11:07,843 -n'est-ce pas? -Oui. 1150 01:11:07,943 --> 01:11:10,343 -C'est le pays d'amour. -Bien sur. 1151 01:11:10,343 --> 01:11:12,843 C'est bien que je vous aie rencontree... 1152 01:11:12,843 --> 01:11:14,843 parce que je n'ai pas eu la chance de pratiquer. 1153 01:11:15,143 --> 01:11:16,543 Si tu veux, nous pouvons pratiquer... 1154 01:11:16,643 --> 01:11:18,243 beaucoup de choses ensemble. 1155 01:11:20,843 --> 01:11:22,043 Tais-toi. 1156 01:11:23,643 --> 01:11:24,743 Au revoir. 1157 01:11:24,843 --> 01:11:26,043 Je m'appelle Adam Webber. 1158 01:11:27,443 --> 01:11:29,143 Quit showing off. We're here on business. 1159 01:11:29,143 --> 01:11:30,543 I thought we were here to meet women. 1160 01:11:30,643 --> 01:11:32,543 -Not that one. -I like her. 1161 01:11:32,643 --> 01:11:35,143 Now, Sophie, when you fly to Paris... 1162 01:11:35,143 --> 01:11:38,243 do you check these, or are they carry-on? 1163 01:11:38,243 --> 01:11:39,643 They're carry-on. 1164 01:11:42,343 --> 01:11:43,543 Excuse me. 1165 01:11:50,243 --> 01:11:52,143 What are you drinking? 1166 01:11:52,143 --> 01:11:53,643 Oh, this is a Rob Roy. 1167 01:11:53,643 --> 01:11:55,243 It's a very popular drink I'm told. 1168 01:11:57,743 --> 01:11:58,843 How about her? 1169 01:11:59,743 --> 01:12:00,943 No way. 1170 01:12:02,543 --> 01:12:04,543 Why not? l--I think she's very attractive. 1171 01:12:06,443 --> 01:12:08,443 She's got "bitch" written all over her. 1172 01:12:08,443 --> 01:12:11,843 You do know what "bitch" means, don't you? 1173 01:12:11,843 --> 01:12:13,843 Well, yes, I do. I do have a dictionary... 1174 01:12:13,843 --> 01:12:15,543 but I can't understand for the life of me... 1175 01:12:15,643 --> 01:12:17,543 why you would say that about her... 1176 01:12:17,543 --> 01:12:19,843 or why Cliff would say that about you. 1177 01:12:24,743 --> 01:12:26,743 I think for you we should aim for... 1178 01:12:26,943 --> 01:12:28,243 sweet. 1179 01:12:28,243 --> 01:12:30,543 OK. I like that. 1180 01:12:30,643 --> 01:12:32,143 Yeah, sweet. 1181 01:12:32,143 --> 01:12:34,143 That's a lovely way of putting it. 1182 01:12:35,843 --> 01:12:37,843 There's Miss Sweet over there by the hors d'oeuvres table. 1183 01:12:38,143 --> 01:12:39,243 Look. 1184 01:12:39,243 --> 01:12:41,243 Oh, yeah, yeah. Could be. 1185 01:12:41,243 --> 01:12:43,843 Yeah, go on, Romeo. Say hello. 1186 01:12:43,843 --> 01:12:45,743 She looks like a non-mutant to me. 1187 01:12:45,843 --> 01:12:47,243 OK. All right. 1188 01:12:48,243 --> 01:12:49,343 What do I say to her? 1189 01:12:49,443 --> 01:12:52,043 Oh, say something surprising... 1190 01:12:52,143 --> 01:12:53,343 something funny-- 1191 01:12:54,543 --> 01:12:55,843 Lie, if need be. 1192 01:12:55,943 --> 01:12:58,243 -Lie? -Oh, yeah. 1193 01:12:58,243 --> 01:13:00,743 Lying can be a very effective dating tool. 1194 01:13:04,943 --> 01:13:06,543 All right. 1195 01:13:06,543 --> 01:13:07,943 Here I go. 1196 01:13:11,443 --> 01:13:13,043 I don't think I want to watch this. 1197 01:13:13,043 --> 01:13:15,044 Surprising and funny. 1198 01:13:15,244 --> 01:13:17,144 Well, I know "the duck who bought some lip balm." 1199 01:13:18,544 --> 01:13:19,844 Lie. 1200 01:13:25,444 --> 01:13:27,444 I was wondering if you could help me. 1201 01:13:27,444 --> 01:13:29,444 I, um, seem to have lost... 1202 01:13:29,744 --> 01:13:31,044 my Congressional Medal of Honor... 1203 01:13:31,044 --> 01:13:32,844 around here somewhere. 1204 01:13:35,244 --> 01:13:36,544 Now, that's a great one. 1205 01:13:39,644 --> 01:13:41,444 This is my new friend. 1206 01:13:44,544 --> 01:13:46,244 Hi. I'm Heather. 1207 01:13:48,444 --> 01:13:50,444 I don't believe I've ever heard that name before. 1208 01:13:55,644 --> 01:13:57,244 Yeah, do you dance? 1209 01:13:57,344 --> 01:13:59,344 Why, I took a dance lesson every day of my life... 1210 01:13:59,644 --> 01:14:01,444 up until a couple of days ago. 1211 01:14:01,544 --> 01:14:03,444 -You're kidding. -No, no, I did. 1212 01:14:05,144 --> 01:14:06,544 Shall we dance? 1213 01:14:06,544 --> 01:14:07,844 -Sure. -Yeah? 1214 01:14:12,744 --> 01:14:14,244 Wait for me. 1215 01:16:22,645 --> 01:16:23,845 Is that your girlfriend? 1216 01:16:23,845 --> 01:16:26,445 No, no. Will you please excuse me? 1217 01:16:28,245 --> 01:16:30,245 You -- you go to the bathroom. 1218 01:16:30,345 --> 01:16:31,445 What, right here? 1219 01:16:32,445 --> 01:16:35,045 I thought I should check. You're being so bossy. 1220 01:16:35,145 --> 01:16:36,445 Thank you both very much for the dance. 1221 01:16:36,445 --> 01:16:37,645 Thank you. 1222 01:16:43,345 --> 01:16:45,245 I have to go to the bathroom. 1223 01:16:49,045 --> 01:16:52,345 -You wanted to see me? -You're not from Alaska. 1224 01:16:52,345 --> 01:16:53,945 Where the hell did you learn to dance like that? 1225 01:16:54,045 --> 01:16:56,945 And there are no starving people, are there? 1226 01:16:56,945 --> 01:16:58,345 Why are you so angry with me? 1227 01:16:58,345 --> 01:17:00,645 What, you think I'm some kind of sap? 1228 01:17:00,645 --> 01:17:02,445 No, I don't. 1229 01:17:02,445 --> 01:17:03,545 I admire you. 1230 01:17:03,545 --> 01:17:06,345 I fell in love with you the very moment I saw you. 1231 01:17:06,345 --> 01:17:08,245 I want you to stop lying to me. 1232 01:17:09,845 --> 01:17:11,145 All right. 1233 01:17:11,145 --> 01:17:12,345 I'll tell you everything. 1234 01:17:12,345 --> 01:17:13,845 In 1962-- 1235 01:17:13,945 --> 01:17:15,845 Well, well, well. 1236 01:17:15,845 --> 01:17:17,445 Don't we clean up nice? 1237 01:17:19,445 --> 01:17:20,645 Well, hello, Cliff. 1238 01:17:21,345 --> 01:17:22,945 How are you this evening? 1239 01:17:23,045 --> 01:17:24,745 Not bad... 1240 01:17:24,745 --> 01:17:27,545 though I do miss that green sport coat of yours. 1241 01:17:27,645 --> 01:17:28,945 Oh, why, thank you, Cliff... 1242 01:17:28,945 --> 01:17:30,645 but that's my seat, and I was just about-- 1243 01:17:30,645 --> 01:17:32,545 Come have a drink up at the bar. 1244 01:17:40,645 --> 01:17:42,145 Sure. 1245 01:17:42,245 --> 01:17:43,445 Excuse us. 1246 01:17:44,745 --> 01:17:45,945 It's all yours. 1247 01:18:16,846 --> 01:18:18,346 Please excuse this interruption. 1248 01:18:18,346 --> 01:18:19,446 Oh, brother. 1249 01:18:19,546 --> 01:18:22,146 Eve, I don't mean to be rude, and, Cliff, please excuse me... 1250 01:18:22,246 --> 01:18:25,246 but, Eve, isn't Cliff just a butt with hair? 1251 01:18:25,346 --> 01:18:26,446 What? 1252 01:18:26,446 --> 01:18:29,846 I'm sorry. And legs-- Legs, butt, and hair. 1253 01:18:29,946 --> 01:18:31,046 And shallow as well. 1254 01:18:31,146 --> 01:18:32,246 Shallow? 1255 01:18:32,246 --> 01:18:34,146 Adam, why don't you go home? 1256 01:18:34,146 --> 01:18:35,446 Go back to the hotel. 1257 01:18:35,546 --> 01:18:37,246 Yeah, before I kick your ass. 1258 01:18:38,646 --> 01:18:41,546 I must warn you, Cliff, I do know how to defend myself. 1259 01:18:41,646 --> 01:18:43,246 Oh, do you? 1260 01:18:44,046 --> 01:18:45,546 Stop it, you two. 1261 01:18:45,546 --> 01:18:47,446 Nice move. 1262 01:18:47,446 --> 01:18:49,946 Yeah, he's right. Maybe we shouldn't fight in here. 1263 01:18:50,946 --> 01:18:52,046 I agree. 1264 01:18:55,846 --> 01:18:57,746 I'm sorry. He was going to... 1265 01:18:58,946 --> 01:19:01,846 Maybe we shouldn't fight at all. I mean... 1266 01:19:01,846 --> 01:19:03,546 fighting's pretty immature when you think about it. 1267 01:19:03,646 --> 01:19:05,046 It certainly is. 1268 01:19:06,946 --> 01:19:08,346 I'm leaving. 1269 01:19:08,346 --> 01:19:09,746 That's probably a good idea. 1270 01:19:09,746 --> 01:19:11,246 I'm sorry. 1271 01:19:14,546 --> 01:19:16,146 Well... 1272 01:19:16,146 --> 01:19:17,346 good night, everyone. 1273 01:19:19,846 --> 01:19:22,146 I'm leaving, too, OK? 1274 01:19:22,146 --> 01:19:23,346 And you know what? lf you want help... 1275 01:19:23,446 --> 01:19:25,246 you can ask Troy, because I quit. 1276 01:19:25,246 --> 01:19:26,846 This is ridiculous. 1277 01:19:26,946 --> 01:19:29,646 You're ridiculous, and I'm ridiculous. 1278 01:19:34,446 --> 01:19:36,246 I'll buy you another Rob Roy, huh, champ? 1279 01:19:37,546 --> 01:19:39,046 Rob Roy for the gentleman. 1280 01:19:45,246 --> 01:19:46,446 Well? 1281 01:19:47,446 --> 01:19:48,946 He go back to the hotel? 1282 01:19:48,946 --> 01:19:50,546 He might have. 1283 01:19:50,646 --> 01:19:51,846 What does that mean? 1284 01:19:52,546 --> 01:19:55,246 That means that we did not leave together. 1285 01:19:55,246 --> 01:19:56,846 Well, who did he leave with? 1286 01:19:56,846 --> 01:19:58,846 -What's that to you? -I'm his pimp! 1287 01:19:59,746 --> 01:20:01,746 He left with those dancers, didn't he? 1288 01:20:03,646 --> 01:20:04,746 You're the psychic. 1289 01:20:04,846 --> 01:20:06,846 Eve the psychic pimp. 1290 01:20:06,946 --> 01:20:08,246 You tell me. 1291 01:20:08,346 --> 01:20:10,146 Those sluts. 1292 01:20:11,346 --> 01:20:13,346 Then again, who isn't a slut these days, huh? 1293 01:20:15,646 --> 01:20:16,746 Where are you going? 1294 01:20:16,846 --> 01:20:19,146 -To bed. -To bed? 1295 01:20:19,146 --> 01:20:20,946 Sure. To bed. 1296 01:20:20,946 --> 01:20:22,846 I'm not the one that's in love with the guy. 1297 01:20:23,846 --> 01:20:24,946 What?! 1298 01:20:25,946 --> 01:20:27,246 Now hold on! 1299 01:20:27,246 --> 01:20:29,246 Hold on just a minute. 1300 01:20:29,246 --> 01:20:30,746 In the first place... 1301 01:20:30,746 --> 01:20:32,746 I do not fall in love with weirdoes... 1302 01:20:32,846 --> 01:20:34,846 who I've only known for four or five days. 1303 01:20:34,846 --> 01:20:36,046 Yes, you do. 1304 01:20:36,146 --> 01:20:37,746 And I don't fall in love with grown men... 1305 01:20:37,846 --> 01:20:39,246 who collect baseball cards! 1306 01:20:39,246 --> 01:20:40,346 Yes, you do. 1307 01:20:40,446 --> 01:20:42,946 Or pee in their pants when they see the ocean. 1308 01:20:43,046 --> 01:20:44,146 Yes, you do. 1309 01:20:44,146 --> 01:20:45,947 Or have perfect table manners. 1310 01:20:46,047 --> 01:20:48,447 You know, I asked him about that. 1311 01:20:48,547 --> 01:20:50,347 He said good manners... 1312 01:20:50,347 --> 01:20:51,847 are just a way of showing other people... 1313 01:20:51,847 --> 01:20:53,347 that we have respect for them. 1314 01:20:53,347 --> 01:20:56,647 I didn't know that. I thought it was a way of acting superior. 1315 01:20:56,647 --> 01:20:58,147 Oh, and you know what else he told me? 1316 01:20:58,247 --> 01:20:59,547 What? 1317 01:20:59,647 --> 01:21:02,347 He thinks I'm a gentleman, and you're a lady. 1318 01:21:04,947 --> 01:21:07,847 Well, consider the source. 1319 01:21:08,647 --> 01:21:10,447 I don't even know what a lady is. 1320 01:21:10,447 --> 01:21:13,447 I know. I thought a gentleman was somebody that owned horses. 1321 01:21:13,447 --> 01:21:14,947 But it turns out... 1322 01:21:14,947 --> 01:21:17,447 the short, simple definition of a lady or a gentleman... 1323 01:21:17,447 --> 01:21:19,247 is someone who always tries to make sure... 1324 01:21:19,347 --> 01:21:20,947 that the people around him or her... 1325 01:21:21,047 --> 01:21:23,047 are as comfortable as possible. 1326 01:21:24,347 --> 01:21:26,347 Where do you think he got all that information? 1327 01:21:26,547 --> 01:21:28,247 Oh, from the oddest place. 1328 01:21:28,347 --> 01:21:30,147 His parents. 1329 01:21:30,147 --> 01:21:32,647 I don't think I got that memo from mine. 1330 01:21:32,647 --> 01:21:35,947 And now, I suppose, he's trying to make those dancers... 1331 01:21:35,947 --> 01:21:38,447 feel as comfortable as possible. 1332 01:21:39,947 --> 01:21:41,447 He didn't go home with them. 1333 01:21:46,347 --> 01:21:48,147 Well... 1334 01:21:48,247 --> 01:21:49,647 He went home with Sophie. 1335 01:21:55,447 --> 01:21:56,947 She swept him out of the room... 1336 01:21:57,047 --> 01:21:59,347 whispering little French sweet-nothings into his ear. 1337 01:21:59,347 --> 01:22:01,847 No, not Sophie. Not Sophie. Don't tell me that. 1338 01:22:01,847 --> 01:22:04,347 So whatcha gonna do, go to her place and kick the door in? 1339 01:22:05,247 --> 01:22:07,147 You're goddamn right I am. 1340 01:22:08,947 --> 01:22:10,247 You coming? 1341 01:22:10,247 --> 01:22:12,247 You kidding? Sophie'd kill me. 1342 01:22:13,747 --> 01:22:14,847 Coward. 1343 01:22:14,947 --> 01:22:17,447 Gentleman coward. 1344 01:22:35,147 --> 01:22:38,947 So just scare me, why don't you, you stupid son of a bitch! 1345 01:22:38,947 --> 01:22:40,547 I'm really sorry. 1346 01:22:40,547 --> 01:22:41,747 What are you doing here? 1347 01:22:41,747 --> 01:22:43,747 You're supposed to be on San Vicente Boulevard... 1348 01:22:43,947 --> 01:22:47,447 having unsafe sex with that slut Sophie. 1349 01:22:47,447 --> 01:22:49,447 I know, and I'm really sorry. 1350 01:22:49,647 --> 01:22:50,947 I'm limping! 1351 01:22:50,947 --> 01:22:52,447 How attractive is that?! 1352 01:22:52,547 --> 01:22:54,147 What if this is for life? 1353 01:22:56,147 --> 01:22:58,147 -I--I was just gonna say-- -I know. 1354 01:22:58,247 --> 01:23:00,647 -And then she-- -I know, I know. 1355 01:23:00,747 --> 01:23:02,747 -And I didn't mean to scare her. -Of course you didn't. 1356 01:23:02,847 --> 01:23:05,447 Nothing I do with her ever seems to be right. 1357 01:23:05,447 --> 01:23:06,947 Used to be right up here with the coffee. 1358 01:23:06,947 --> 01:23:08,147 Why don't people ever fucking... 1359 01:23:08,147 --> 01:23:09,747 That's because... 1360 01:23:09,747 --> 01:23:11,447 you're a nice boy... 1361 01:23:11,447 --> 01:23:14,047 but what Eve needs is a nice man. 1362 01:23:14,147 --> 01:23:15,948 Understand, champ? 1363 01:23:15,948 --> 01:23:17,148 Good night. 1364 01:23:18,248 --> 01:23:19,448 Good night, Troy. 1365 01:23:20,648 --> 01:23:21,748 You still here? 1366 01:23:21,848 --> 01:23:23,848 -Let me help you. -No. I can do it myself. 1367 01:23:24,048 --> 01:23:26,048 I know more about first aid than you know about baseball cards. 1368 01:23:26,148 --> 01:23:28,048 Now give me the stuff and sit down. 1369 01:23:28,748 --> 01:23:30,148 Sit! 1370 01:23:31,648 --> 01:23:33,148 Let me see. 1371 01:23:33,148 --> 01:23:34,348 Give me your knee. 1372 01:23:36,548 --> 01:23:37,948 These pants are ruined, right? 1373 01:23:37,948 --> 01:23:39,148 I'd say so. 1374 01:23:39,148 --> 01:23:40,348 There. 1375 01:23:46,448 --> 01:23:47,948 Steady. 1376 01:23:47,948 --> 01:23:49,148 Ouch! 1377 01:23:49,148 --> 01:23:50,448 There. 1378 01:23:50,448 --> 01:23:51,648 Don't be such a baby. 1379 01:23:51,648 --> 01:23:53,648 Oh, I'm the baby? 1380 01:24:03,448 --> 01:24:04,948 Did, um... 1381 01:24:06,748 --> 01:24:08,748 Did you go to Sophie's? 1382 01:24:10,048 --> 01:24:11,548 Of course. 1383 01:24:12,948 --> 01:24:14,148 And? 1384 01:24:15,448 --> 01:24:16,748 She was hospitable. 1385 01:24:16,748 --> 01:24:18,248 Hospitable? 1386 01:24:23,948 --> 01:24:25,748 But... 1387 01:24:25,748 --> 01:24:27,748 it just wasn't where I wanted to be... 1388 01:24:28,048 --> 01:24:29,948 so... 1389 01:24:29,948 --> 01:24:32,248 I left as politely as I could... 1390 01:24:32,348 --> 01:24:34,248 and I found a taxi... 1391 01:24:34,348 --> 01:24:35,948 and I told the driver to bring me here... 1392 01:24:35,948 --> 01:24:37,948 instead of back to the hotel. 1393 01:24:41,348 --> 01:24:44,948 There's a song that Mr. Como sings... 1394 01:24:44,948 --> 01:24:46,748 called "On the Street Where You Live." 1395 01:24:46,848 --> 01:24:48,048 Do you know it? 1396 01:24:49,448 --> 01:24:51,348 Sing it to me. 1397 01:24:56,848 --> 01:24:58,648 I have often walked 1398 01:24:58,648 --> 01:25:00,248 Down this street before 1399 01:25:01,348 --> 01:25:03,348 But the pavement always stayed 1400 01:25:03,348 --> 01:25:05,348 Beneath my feet before 1401 01:25:06,448 --> 01:25:08,448 All at once am I 1402 01:25:09,348 --> 01:25:12,048 Several stories high 1403 01:25:12,048 --> 01:25:14,948 Knowing I'm on the street 1404 01:25:14,948 --> 01:25:16,748 Where you live 1405 01:25:17,748 --> 01:25:20,748 It's a song about a young man... 1406 01:25:20,748 --> 01:25:23,848 who's overjoyed... 1407 01:25:25,648 --> 01:25:28,048 just to be standing in front of the house... 1408 01:25:29,048 --> 01:25:30,648 of the person... 1409 01:25:32,248 --> 01:25:33,748 that he loves. 1410 01:25:49,349 --> 01:25:50,949 You know, l-- 1411 01:25:59,449 --> 01:26:02,149 Adam, I know this is stupid... 1412 01:26:03,249 --> 01:26:05,049 but humor me. 1413 01:26:08,749 --> 01:26:10,749 Have you ever had sex before? 1414 01:26:14,149 --> 01:26:15,149 No... 1415 01:26:16,949 --> 01:26:19,649 How is that possible? 1416 01:26:20,549 --> 01:26:22,549 You better sit back down. 1417 01:26:26,349 --> 01:26:29,349 In 1962, when the bomb was dropped on Los Angeles... 1418 01:26:29,349 --> 01:26:31,949 my parents were in our fallout shelter. 1419 01:26:31,949 --> 01:26:33,349 That's where I was born. 1420 01:26:34,649 --> 01:26:37,449 We only survived because it's a huge shelter... 1421 01:26:37,449 --> 01:26:39,449 as far as fallout shelters go. 1422 01:26:40,449 --> 01:26:43,749 My father worked on it secretly for years. 1423 01:26:43,749 --> 01:26:44,849 When he had to... 1424 01:26:44,949 --> 01:26:46,449 he used contractors... 1425 01:26:46,449 --> 01:26:47,949 but always from out of state... 1426 01:26:47,949 --> 01:26:49,749 and always for only a portion of the job. 1427 01:26:49,849 --> 01:26:52,449 He told them it was a secret government experiment... 1428 01:26:52,449 --> 01:26:53,849 done through Cal Tech. 1429 01:26:53,949 --> 01:26:55,449 Now, my dad's not a liar... 1430 01:26:55,449 --> 01:26:58,449 but in this case, he felt he had no choice. 1431 01:26:58,449 --> 01:27:00,449 Of course, it had to be kept a secret. 1432 01:27:00,649 --> 01:27:01,849 We only had enough supplies... 1433 01:27:01,849 --> 01:27:04,649 to last three people for thirty-five years. 1434 01:27:04,649 --> 01:27:07,349 The really tricky part was the air-vent system... 1435 01:27:07,449 --> 01:27:09,849 but we were able to cut into the flood-control sewer. 1436 01:27:09,849 --> 01:27:11,849 We... 1437 01:27:16,649 --> 01:27:18,549 What I would like to do... 1438 01:27:18,649 --> 01:27:21,349 is to take you with me into the fallout shelter. 1439 01:27:22,349 --> 01:27:24,249 We could live there with my mom and dad. 1440 01:27:25,449 --> 01:27:27,949 My dad said that if I found a healthy young girl... 1441 01:27:27,949 --> 01:27:30,949 that...that I should bring her on down. 1442 01:27:30,949 --> 01:27:32,549 Why, Eve... 1443 01:27:34,549 --> 01:27:37,249 you look plenty healthy to me. 1444 01:27:45,949 --> 01:27:48,949 I think it's time to call a cab. 1445 01:27:50,949 --> 01:27:53,549 Oh. Of course. You're absolutely right. 1446 01:27:53,649 --> 01:27:56,049 I really shouldn't be over here at this late hour. 1447 01:28:05,049 --> 01:28:06,549 Good night, Adam. 1448 01:28:12,949 --> 01:28:14,249 Thank you. 1449 01:28:32,450 --> 01:28:33,950 God damn, Adam ! 1450 01:28:33,950 --> 01:28:35,250 Wait a minute. 1451 01:28:36,950 --> 01:28:38,950 Oh, look, I'm sorry. 1452 01:28:39,150 --> 01:28:41,950 I know. I took the Lord's name in vain again. I-- 1453 01:28:41,950 --> 01:28:44,750 No. There's an adult bookstore back there. 1454 01:28:44,750 --> 01:28:46,450 I'll be right back. 1455 01:29:00,550 --> 01:29:01,850 Give us a sign! 1456 01:29:01,850 --> 01:29:02,950 -Amen! -Yes! 1457 01:29:02,950 --> 01:29:04,350 That's all we ask. 1458 01:29:04,450 --> 01:29:07,550 Just give us some sort of sign! 1459 01:29:08,250 --> 01:29:11,150 Just show us that we're not alone! 1460 01:29:38,550 --> 01:29:40,250 This is, uh... 1461 01:29:40,350 --> 01:29:41,650 Hi, Adam. I'm Nina Aron. 1462 01:29:42,650 --> 01:29:44,650 -Hello. How do you do? -Very well, thank you. 1463 01:29:44,750 --> 01:29:47,350 I'm with the County Family Services Department. 1464 01:29:47,350 --> 01:29:51,050 Eve tells me you've been living in a bomb shelter... 1465 01:29:51,050 --> 01:29:52,250 most of your life. 1466 01:29:53,650 --> 01:29:54,850 Fallout shelter. 1467 01:29:54,850 --> 01:29:56,850 There is a difference. 1468 01:29:57,050 --> 01:30:00,450 Adam, I'd like to introduce you to my associate Mr. Brown. 1469 01:30:04,850 --> 01:30:06,650 We want you to come with us... 1470 01:30:06,650 --> 01:30:08,650 so we can talk some more about your experiences. 1471 01:30:08,850 --> 01:30:09,950 Come where? 1472 01:30:10,050 --> 01:30:11,750 My office. 1473 01:30:11,850 --> 01:30:12,950 For how long? 1474 01:30:14,050 --> 01:30:15,850 Well, that depends. 1475 01:30:15,850 --> 01:30:18,250 Well, I thank you very much for the invitation... 1476 01:30:18,350 --> 01:30:19,950 but I'm very busy today. 1477 01:30:19,950 --> 01:30:21,250 Perhaps I could see you tomorrow. 1478 01:30:21,250 --> 01:30:24,350 I think you should go with Dr. Aron. 1479 01:30:25,450 --> 01:30:27,050 I think it's the best thing. 1480 01:30:28,450 --> 01:30:31,150 I think it's best for you. I--I do. 1481 01:30:36,850 --> 01:30:38,550 All right, Eve. If you say so. 1482 01:30:40,050 --> 01:30:41,150 I do. 1483 01:30:44,050 --> 01:30:45,950 Could I please just go home? 1484 01:30:46,050 --> 01:30:48,451 I was lost, but I found home this morning. 1485 01:30:48,551 --> 01:30:50,851 And if I can just go home... 1486 01:30:50,851 --> 01:30:52,851 I promise I'll never bother any of you ever again. 1487 01:30:54,651 --> 01:30:56,551 Let's go talk first. 1488 01:31:00,751 --> 01:31:01,751 Yes Ma'am. 1489 01:31:05,251 --> 01:31:06,251 Bye Adam. 1490 01:31:09,051 --> 01:31:10,051 Bye Troy. 1491 01:31:17,451 --> 01:31:18,951 You'll be hearing from me. 1492 01:31:23,951 --> 01:31:25,251 What?! 1493 01:31:25,351 --> 01:31:26,951 What was I supposed to do? 1494 01:31:26,951 --> 01:31:28,951 He told me he wanted to take me underground. 1495 01:31:28,951 --> 01:31:30,351 That's like "Silence of the Lambs." 1496 01:31:30,351 --> 01:31:31,851 It's crazy! 1497 01:31:32,951 --> 01:31:35,451 Yeah. You did the right thing. 1498 01:31:41,451 --> 01:31:42,851 Where you going? 1499 01:31:44,351 --> 01:31:45,851 Oh, my God. 1500 01:31:45,851 --> 01:31:48,151 All right, don't worry. He'll catch him. 1501 01:31:48,151 --> 01:31:49,751 Yes, this is Nina Aron. 1502 01:31:49,751 --> 01:31:52,251 I've got a runaway, and I'm going to need police assistance. 1503 01:31:52,251 --> 01:31:55,251 -No, you cannot call them. -Honey, I have to. 1504 01:31:55,251 --> 01:31:57,651 If a complaint is made and the person resists-- 1505 01:31:57,651 --> 01:31:59,051 No! I cannot have that! 1506 01:31:59,151 --> 01:32:02,951 They'll come with their cars and their guns and-- 1507 01:32:02,951 --> 01:32:04,051 All right. Calm down. 1508 01:32:04,051 --> 01:32:05,451 Now, that young man needs help... 1509 01:32:05,451 --> 01:32:07,151 and you need protection from him. 1510 01:32:07,151 --> 01:32:08,451 I was frightened! 1511 01:32:08,451 --> 01:32:11,551 I didn't know what to think, but, you know... 1512 01:32:11,651 --> 01:32:13,051 I believe him. 1513 01:32:13,151 --> 01:32:14,551 I think he just-- 1514 01:32:14,651 --> 01:32:17,351 I really think he wants to go home-- 1515 01:32:17,451 --> 01:32:18,851 wherever that might be. 1516 01:32:18,851 --> 01:32:20,451 Everybody has to calm down. 1517 01:32:20,451 --> 01:32:21,951 That's the most important thing. 1518 01:32:23,451 --> 01:32:24,951 You can have all my baseball cards... 1519 01:32:24,951 --> 01:32:26,151 and don't forget to pay my bills. 1520 01:32:26,151 --> 01:32:27,851 Young man, you stop right there! 1521 01:32:27,851 --> 01:32:30,251 Stop! Don't get in that truck! 1522 01:32:31,451 --> 01:32:32,751 You gotta stop trying to drive this truck. 1523 01:32:34,251 --> 01:32:35,851 Thanks for always being happy. 1524 01:32:35,851 --> 01:32:37,851 -What? -Gay. 1525 01:32:42,951 --> 01:32:45,751 That's my car, you son of a bitch! 1526 01:32:46,451 --> 01:32:47,951 Where the hell have you been? 1527 01:32:47,951 --> 01:32:49,151 I fell down. 1528 01:32:49,151 --> 01:32:51,151 You guys get the license number on that truck? 1529 01:32:51,151 --> 01:32:54,251 What are you asking them for? They're as screwed up as he is! 1530 01:32:54,351 --> 01:32:56,651 Hey, everybody keep calm. That's the important thing. 1531 01:32:56,651 --> 01:32:58,451 Who you talking to, you stupid... 1532 01:33:09,251 --> 01:33:10,651 Mom, Dad... 1533 01:33:11,651 --> 01:33:13,151 I'm home. 1534 01:33:20,252 --> 01:33:22,552 I've got almost everything we need. 1535 01:33:22,652 --> 01:33:24,152 And this nice man... 1536 01:33:24,152 --> 01:33:25,652 Archbishop Melker. 1537 01:33:25,652 --> 01:33:27,152 We've met previously. 1538 01:33:27,152 --> 01:33:28,652 ...and his church group 1539 01:33:28,652 --> 01:33:30,052 have volunteered to help bring it down... 1540 01:33:30,152 --> 01:33:31,552 but we've gotta hurry. 1541 01:33:31,652 --> 01:33:33,252 Are you in trouble, son? 1542 01:33:33,352 --> 01:33:35,252 I think I'm being chased by a psychiatrist. 1543 01:33:35,352 --> 01:33:36,752 A psychiatrist? 1544 01:33:36,852 --> 01:33:37,952 It happens. 1545 01:33:37,952 --> 01:33:39,452 Oh, my goodness. 1546 01:33:39,452 --> 01:33:41,452 How bad is it up there? 1547 01:33:41,752 --> 01:33:43,752 Horrible. 1548 01:33:45,352 --> 01:33:47,652 There's something on your forehead. 1549 01:33:48,652 --> 01:33:49,952 I know. 1550 01:34:27,252 --> 01:34:28,352 Is this it? 1551 01:34:32,452 --> 01:34:35,252 Well, what are we gonna do with it? 1552 01:34:35,352 --> 01:34:36,752 Give it back to him. 1553 01:34:36,752 --> 01:34:38,452 And what if we can't find him? 1554 01:34:38,452 --> 01:34:39,952 We'll find him. 1555 01:34:39,952 --> 01:34:41,152 Well... 1556 01:35:04,752 --> 01:35:07,652 Eve, look what I found in the suitcase. 1557 01:35:07,652 --> 01:35:09,152 It's stock certificates. 1558 01:35:09,152 --> 01:35:10,752 I mean, it's got, like-- 1559 01:35:10,752 --> 01:35:14,552 It's got, like, IBM and AT&T and Polaroid and... 1560 01:35:14,652 --> 01:35:16,452 "Ipana"? 1561 01:35:16,452 --> 01:35:18,452 I remember this brand. 1562 01:35:18,452 --> 01:35:20,452 I didn't know they still made this. 1563 01:35:23,252 --> 01:35:25,552 Oh. Look at this. 1564 01:35:25,652 --> 01:35:28,152 It says "Trademark 1961." 1565 01:35:32,552 --> 01:35:34,952 Hurry, my friends! We have no time to waste! 1566 01:35:34,952 --> 01:35:36,352 The son has spoken! 1567 01:35:36,352 --> 01:35:37,852 Let's step it up! 1568 01:35:37,852 --> 01:35:41,952 Leave my elevator alone 1569 01:35:41,952 --> 01:35:44,752 We're losing a ride! 1570 01:35:44,752 --> 01:35:46,752 Purchased in 1958 and '59... 1571 01:35:47,052 --> 01:35:49,353 ten thousand shares of each? 1572 01:35:49,453 --> 01:35:50,853 They'd be worth millions. 1573 01:35:50,853 --> 01:35:51,953 Hell, I don't know. 1574 01:35:52,053 --> 01:35:53,953 Millions upon millions... 1575 01:35:53,953 --> 01:35:55,353 Upon millions. 1576 01:35:56,353 --> 01:35:57,953 The stocks, the baseball cards... 1577 01:35:57,953 --> 01:35:59,653 the clothes... 1578 01:35:59,653 --> 01:36:01,353 the toothpaste. 1579 01:36:02,453 --> 01:36:03,753 The guy's on the level. 1580 01:36:06,453 --> 01:36:08,853 Eve, a man walks into your life... 1581 01:36:08,953 --> 01:36:10,953 who's the kindest, most polite... 1582 01:36:10,953 --> 01:36:12,953 most incredibly rich guy you've ever met. 1583 01:36:13,153 --> 01:36:14,753 And I have him committed. 1584 01:36:16,953 --> 01:36:18,453 Yes, you did. 1585 01:36:21,753 --> 01:36:23,553 Well... 1586 01:36:23,553 --> 01:36:25,553 at least I fell for him before I found out he was rich. 1587 01:36:25,753 --> 01:36:26,953 That's new. 1588 01:36:29,653 --> 01:36:32,053 He said today he knew where home was. 1589 01:36:32,153 --> 01:36:33,753 Where'd you guys go this morning? 1590 01:36:34,953 --> 01:36:37,453 Just to pick up frozen poultry. 1591 01:36:37,453 --> 01:36:38,553 Then? 1592 01:36:38,653 --> 01:36:40,453 Then back to the house. 1593 01:36:40,453 --> 01:36:41,953 You didn't stop anywhere? 1594 01:36:44,953 --> 01:36:46,953 We did. We stopped at a porn shop. 1595 01:36:48,153 --> 01:36:49,453 Yeah, we stopped at this adult bookstore. 1596 01:36:49,553 --> 01:36:51,953 Adam was very excited to see it. 1597 01:36:51,953 --> 01:36:53,953 Adam was very excited to see porn? 1598 01:36:56,353 --> 01:36:59,753 Eve, do you think maybe his home is underneath... 1599 01:36:59,853 --> 01:37:01,553 a dirty book store in the valley? 1600 01:37:07,453 --> 01:37:08,553 This is it? 1601 01:37:08,553 --> 01:37:10,453 Yeah. Yeah, this is the place. 1602 01:37:35,953 --> 01:37:37,953 Do you have a basement? 1603 01:37:37,953 --> 01:37:42,253 Believe me, all the really good stuff is right up front. 1604 01:37:44,153 --> 01:37:45,953 Is there a back entrance or something? 1605 01:37:45,953 --> 01:37:47,953 Are you kidding? Of course. 1606 01:37:48,053 --> 01:37:49,953 Nice kid. Nice kid. 1607 01:37:53,053 --> 01:37:55,953 What are we looking for? This is ridiculous. 1608 01:37:55,953 --> 01:37:58,953 Why would they put a fallout shelter under a porn shop? 1609 01:37:58,953 --> 01:38:00,353 None of this was here back in '62. 1610 01:38:00,453 --> 01:38:02,953 Back then this was all, like, cute little homes... 1611 01:38:02,953 --> 01:38:05,853 and, you know, fruit orchards. 1612 01:38:05,953 --> 01:38:07,953 We've come a long way, haven't we? 1613 01:38:09,953 --> 01:38:11,553 I wanna go home. 1614 01:38:11,553 --> 01:38:13,553 Yeah. Maybe he'll call, huh? 1615 01:38:16,953 --> 01:38:18,453 This is Adam. 1616 01:38:19,754 --> 01:38:22,854 Look, I just wanted to thank you for everything you did for me. 1617 01:38:22,954 --> 01:38:24,454 And... 1618 01:38:24,454 --> 01:38:26,154 I wanted to tell you that l... 1619 01:38:27,454 --> 01:38:28,954 that, uh... 1620 01:38:28,954 --> 01:38:32,254 that I--that I wish so many good things for you. 1621 01:38:32,254 --> 01:38:35,954 I wish so hard that all of your dreams come true. 1622 01:38:35,954 --> 01:38:37,454 And... 1623 01:38:37,454 --> 01:38:39,954 and that-- and that's all I... 1624 01:38:39,954 --> 01:38:41,454 And that's all. 1625 01:39:06,554 --> 01:39:09,054 Your ride stinks! 1626 01:39:13,454 --> 01:39:15,254 Stay outta here, you drunk! 1627 01:39:41,754 --> 01:39:43,654 Adam..? 1628 01:40:21,454 --> 01:40:23,454 How long you gonna set it for this time? 1629 01:40:23,454 --> 01:40:25,354 I thought ten years. 1630 01:40:26,454 --> 01:40:27,954 Well, it's... 1631 01:40:27,954 --> 01:40:30,954 considerably shorter than before, but... 1632 01:40:31,954 --> 01:40:34,454 I was wondering, Calvin, I mean... 1633 01:40:34,454 --> 01:40:35,954 why set the locks at all? 1634 01:40:36,054 --> 01:40:37,754 I mean, the radiation's gone. 1635 01:40:37,854 --> 01:40:40,354 To keep what's up there from getting down here. 1636 01:40:40,354 --> 01:40:42,854 It's not radiation I'm worried about. 1637 01:40:55,455 --> 01:40:56,855 I would like for you to meet... 1638 01:40:56,855 --> 01:40:58,655 Miss Eve Vrustikov. 1639 01:41:03,755 --> 01:41:06,555 Adam's told me such wonderful things about you. 1640 01:41:06,555 --> 01:41:08,255 Oh, honey... 1641 01:41:08,255 --> 01:41:09,955 excuse us, please. 1642 01:41:09,955 --> 01:41:11,955 We haven't entertained a guest... 1643 01:41:11,955 --> 01:41:13,455 In quite some time. 1644 01:41:13,455 --> 01:41:16,555 Oh, Eve, what-- what can I offer you? 1645 01:41:16,655 --> 01:41:18,355 Mom, Eve and I have to go. 1646 01:41:18,355 --> 01:41:20,055 Oh, Adam, you just got here. 1647 01:41:20,055 --> 01:41:21,555 I can't explain right now... 1648 01:41:21,555 --> 01:41:23,555 but I want you to set the locks for two months. 1649 01:41:23,555 --> 01:41:25,255 You've got more than enough of everything... 1650 01:41:25,355 --> 01:41:27,255 and then we'll be right back to get you. 1651 01:41:27,355 --> 01:41:28,855 But I don't understand. 1652 01:41:28,955 --> 01:41:30,855 And I'm asking you to trust me... 1653 01:41:30,955 --> 01:41:32,255 without understanding why. 1654 01:41:32,255 --> 01:41:33,955 In that case, of course. 1655 01:41:33,955 --> 01:41:35,955 Oh, of course, son. 1656 01:41:35,955 --> 01:41:38,455 They really are wonderful parents. 1657 01:41:39,855 --> 01:41:42,955 Oh, Adam, could you at least stay for dinner? 1658 01:41:43,055 --> 01:41:44,655 Well...she... 1659 01:41:44,755 --> 01:41:45,855 You must. 1660 01:41:48,355 --> 01:41:49,955 Perfect. 1661 01:41:50,055 --> 01:41:52,055 Now tell me if you heard this one. 1662 01:41:52,255 --> 01:41:54,255 Duck walks into a drugstore. 1663 01:41:54,455 --> 01:41:56,455 This gravy is an old favorite of Calvin's. 1664 01:41:56,655 --> 01:41:59,855 Now, Eve, the platter's down here. 1665 01:41:59,855 --> 01:42:01,755 Would you get that, honey? 1666 01:42:01,855 --> 01:42:04,955 The sperm swims toward the egg. 1667 01:42:05,955 --> 01:42:07,055 Into the egg. 1668 01:42:07,155 --> 01:42:09,455 -Why? -Because it must. 1669 01:42:09,455 --> 01:42:10,755 But why? 1670 01:42:10,755 --> 01:42:13,455 Because it's out there. 1671 01:42:14,755 --> 01:42:18,255 I don't mean to be nosy, but are you and Adam dating? 1672 01:42:18,355 --> 01:42:19,755 Yeah, we are. 1673 01:42:21,955 --> 01:42:23,955 And I'm from Pasadena. 1674 01:42:28,455 --> 01:42:30,955 And you thought your parents were weird. 1675 01:42:33,155 --> 01:42:35,055 It's truly amazing what you can get done... 1676 01:42:35,155 --> 01:42:36,455 when you have unlimited funds. 1677 01:42:36,455 --> 01:42:39,155 Do you know you can have whole houses built... 1678 01:42:39,155 --> 01:42:41,155 in just a matter of months? 1679 01:42:41,155 --> 01:42:43,455 It's like the Garden of Eden, don't you think? 1680 01:42:43,455 --> 01:42:45,055 All you have to say is this... 1681 01:42:45,155 --> 01:42:46,655 "I don't care what it costs." 1682 01:42:46,655 --> 01:42:47,855 And then, of course, you've got to really mean it... 1683 01:42:47,855 --> 01:42:49,555 which no one ever does. 1684 01:42:50,455 --> 01:42:52,955 It took a while to convince Archbishop Melker... 1685 01:42:53,055 --> 01:42:54,455 that Adam wasn't God... 1686 01:42:54,555 --> 01:42:56,855 and he was pretty broken up about it, too... 1687 01:42:56,855 --> 01:42:58,355 until I showed him my plans... 1688 01:42:58,455 --> 01:43:00,955 for Los Angeles' hottest and most original night spot. 1689 01:43:00,955 --> 01:43:02,455 It's my goddamned malt shop. 1690 01:43:02,555 --> 01:43:04,955 Now let's just figure out what's gonna happen here. 1691 01:43:04,955 --> 01:43:06,955 Now I want the whole ownership... 1692 01:43:06,955 --> 01:43:08,955 of everything downstairs, right? 1693 01:43:08,955 --> 01:43:11,555 I want one of my guys at the door. 1694 01:43:14,455 --> 01:43:16,455 Our idea was to bring Adam's parents... 1695 01:43:16,555 --> 01:43:19,255 up to the surface very slowly... 1696 01:43:19,255 --> 01:43:20,756 make them very comfortable... 1697 01:43:20,756 --> 01:43:22,756 and then break the bad news to them... 1698 01:43:22,856 --> 01:43:25,256 that there was no nuclear holocaust. 1699 01:43:53,656 --> 01:43:55,656 Oh, son. 1700 01:44:01,056 --> 01:44:03,556 And here you go. Oh, careful. 1701 01:44:10,756 --> 01:44:12,556 It's hot. 1702 01:44:12,656 --> 01:44:14,656 Careful. 1703 01:44:17,256 --> 01:44:19,256 Have you ever in your life... 1704 01:44:19,456 --> 01:44:21,956 seen a son who did more for his parents? 1705 01:44:22,956 --> 01:44:24,956 This is beautiful. 1706 01:44:26,456 --> 01:44:28,956 It's absolutely beautiful. 1707 01:44:28,956 --> 01:44:31,256 Well, uh... 1708 01:44:31,356 --> 01:44:33,256 we seem to have everything... 1709 01:44:33,356 --> 01:44:35,156 but, you know... 1710 01:44:36,356 --> 01:44:38,256 it's not much different... 1711 01:44:38,356 --> 01:44:39,756 from a fallout shelter. 1712 01:44:41,056 --> 01:44:42,556 No, Calvin. 1713 01:44:42,556 --> 01:44:43,756 This is different. 1714 01:44:43,856 --> 01:44:45,356 Believe me. 1715 01:44:48,956 --> 01:44:51,456 This is great... 1716 01:44:51,456 --> 01:44:52,956 son. 1717 01:44:55,656 --> 01:44:56,956 By the way... 1718 01:44:58,456 --> 01:45:00,456 Eve. Her last name. 1719 01:45:00,456 --> 01:45:01,956 Vrustikov. 1720 01:45:01,956 --> 01:45:03,556 That's not Russian, is it? 1721 01:45:03,656 --> 01:45:05,056 No, it's Ukrainian. 1722 01:45:05,156 --> 01:45:07,756 Her grandparents immigrated. 1723 01:45:11,056 --> 01:45:12,456 Dad, I don't know how to tell you this... 1724 01:45:12,456 --> 01:45:16,056 and I was gonna wait for a while to do it, but... 1725 01:45:18,656 --> 01:45:20,456 Dad, there was no bomb. 1726 01:45:20,456 --> 01:45:22,456 A plane crashed in our backyard. 1727 01:45:22,656 --> 01:45:24,956 I looked it up in old newspapers. 1728 01:45:25,956 --> 01:45:28,456 -You sure? -Positive. 1729 01:45:28,456 --> 01:45:31,456 The Soviet Union collapsed without a shot being fired. 1730 01:45:31,456 --> 01:45:33,156 The cold war's over. 1731 01:45:36,656 --> 01:45:39,556 That's what everyone believes. 1732 01:45:39,556 --> 01:45:41,056 Oh, yes, sir. 1733 01:45:41,056 --> 01:45:43,056 Mm-hmm. It's true. 1734 01:45:44,156 --> 01:45:46,656 What, the politburo... 1735 01:45:46,656 --> 01:45:47,856 one day said... 1736 01:45:48,956 --> 01:45:50,357 "we give up"? 1737 01:45:52,257 --> 01:45:53,757 Yes, just... 1738 01:45:53,857 --> 01:45:55,357 That's kinda how it went. 1739 01:45:55,357 --> 01:45:56,857 By gosh! 1740 01:45:56,857 --> 01:45:58,757 These commies are brilliant. 1741 01:45:58,857 --> 01:46:00,757 You have to hand it to them. 1742 01:46:00,857 --> 01:46:03,357 No, we didn't drop any bombs. 1743 01:46:03,457 --> 01:46:07,857 Oh, yeah. Our evil empire has collapsed. Poor us. 1744 01:46:07,957 --> 01:46:09,757 I'll bet... 1745 01:46:09,757 --> 01:46:12,257 they even asked the West for aid. 1746 01:46:12,257 --> 01:46:13,757 Right? 1747 01:46:13,757 --> 01:46:16,457 Um, I think they did. 1748 01:46:16,457 --> 01:46:17,657 Oh, boys. 1749 01:46:17,657 --> 01:46:19,657 Dinnertime! 1750 01:46:19,657 --> 01:46:21,157 Pot roast. 1751 01:46:26,257 --> 01:46:27,757 I tell ya. 1752 01:46:29,957 --> 01:46:31,557 Funny guy. 1753 01:46:32,557 --> 01:46:34,557 -Don't tell your mother. -No. 1754 01:46:35,957 --> 01:46:38,957 Adam says that this is simply how things work. 1755 01:46:38,957 --> 01:46:41,457 First the parents take care of the children... 1756 01:46:41,457 --> 01:46:44,457 and then the children take care of the parents. 1757 01:46:44,457 --> 01:46:47,557 He says, historically, that's how it works. 1758 01:46:47,657 --> 01:46:49,657 Damn commies. 1759 01:46:53,557 --> 01:46:54,857 Whenever Adam gives me... 1760 01:46:54,857 --> 01:46:57,457 such obviously incorrect information... 1761 01:46:57,457 --> 01:47:01,257 I just smile, slap him on the knee... 1762 01:47:01,257 --> 01:47:02,457 and look out the window. 1763 01:47:03,257 --> 01:47:05,557 Why spoil his dreams? 1764 01:47:05,557 --> 01:47:07,957 They're such wonderful dreams.