1 00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:12,011 ♪♪ 2 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:15,306 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪ 3 00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:17,016 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 4 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,893 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 5 00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:21,855 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 6 00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:23,523 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 7 00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,525 ♪ People spouting, "howdy, neighbor!" ♪ 8 00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:28,528 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 9 00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:31,990 ♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ 10 00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:35,702 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪ 11 00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:43,978 Dad! Dad, there's this new place 12 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,312 and you can actually go and shoot each other, 13 00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:46,772 only it's soft BBs and they're biodegradable, 14 00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:47,940 and the guns are, like, totally real 15 00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:49,275 except you don't actually get hurt, 16 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:50,776 and it's like paintball except for there's no mess, 17 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,069 and the stuff all looks totally real, 18 00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:53,446 and it's called Airsoft and can I get one? 19 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:54,721 Wha... Wha... What? 20 00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:56,407 There's an Airsoft field where everybody plays on teams, 21 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:57,950 and I promise I'll take good care of the equipment, 22 00:00:57,974 --> 00:00:59,326 and if you think about it it's a really great hobby 23 00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:00,786 for team building and learning communication and... 24 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:01,954 Whoa... Whoa... Whoa... Whoa... 25 00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:03,330 I was just thinking if you could come 26 00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:04,623 to the Airsoft store with me... Please, please, please, 27 00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:05,875 all my friends already bought their stuff, 28 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:06,959 and it's totally a way for us to play outside 29 00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,252 like you always say... Come on, please, 30 00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:09,795 only we can't tell mom cuz she won't understand, 31 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:11,464 but it's totally safe cuz you wear eye protection. 32 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:14,073 Okay, okay, Kyle, breathe. 33 00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:17,911 Here it is! Isn't this cool?! 34 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:19,788 Airsoft Armory? 35 00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:21,498 Come on, Dad! You gotta check it out! 36 00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:29,756 My God! Is this stuff real?! 37 00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:31,758 No, Dad, it's Airsoft. 38 00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:33,927 It's like paintball, only it's way cooler 39 00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:35,720 and it just looks totally real. 40 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:39,140 I-I really don't think your mom would approve, Kyle. 41 00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:40,809 Dad... Please. I'm not a baby anymore. 42 00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:42,703 The other guys... They already got their stuff. 43 00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:43,937 We're playing today! 44 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:47,357 Can I please just get, like, an AK-47 and maybe a Glock? 45 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,608 This stuff is expensive. 46 00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:50,944 Is this really how you want to spend your allowance? 47 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,654 Yeah, yeah! It really is! 48 00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:55,281 These are all, like, legal, right? 49 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,908 Uh, yes, sir. 50 00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:59,619 You see you load these soft BBs into the guns 51 00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,246 and they just kinda sting. 52 00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:04,791 And you can put the soft BBs into grenades, rocket launchers, 53 00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:06,000 all kinds of stuff. 54 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,127 So it's all totally safe? 55 00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:12,257 Wul, I wouldn't particularly say that... 56 00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:14,509 I mean... all the stuff is safe, 57 00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:17,262 the guns and grenades and things... but... 58 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:21,182 But not necessarily the people who mostly play Airsoft... 59 00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,560 What people mostly play Airsoft? 60 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:27,438 Teenagers. 61 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:30,817 Referee: Alright, Airsofters, let's listen up. 62 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,610 Before we let you onto the field, 63 00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:34,946 we need to run through our safety precautions. 64 00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:36,322 - Bruh... - Bruh... 65 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:39,701 Teenager: We know all the safety stuff... 66 00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:43,329 First, your Airsoft guns must all have a red tip... 67 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,831 Bruh, we know... 68 00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:48,126 Second, there is no full auto allowed on the field. 69 00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:49,377 Bruh... 70 00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:52,672 Third, there is a 500 fps limit for your BBs. 71 00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:55,008 Bruh, can we play now? 72 00:02:55,091 --> 00:02:58,219 If you're hit by a BB, raise your hand, say "hit," 73 00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,804 and go back to respawn. 74 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,347 Yes already, yes! 75 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:04,017 Alright, you guys are Team Rogue Wolf. 76 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:08,479 You'll be playing against... Where is Team Floppy Weiner? 77 00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:10,481 Cartman: Right here! 78 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:12,025 What?! 79 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:15,194 Bruh, no! We aren't playing with little kids! 80 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,488 Yeah, it'll be too easy! 81 00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:18,572 Alright, fine! 82 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:21,242 Then we'll split the kids up on two teams 83 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:24,037 and each one will have a teenage partner. 84 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,039 Bruh, seriously? 85 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:29,334 - Kid with the poof ball, that's your teenager... - Bruh. 86 00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,711 Green hat kid, that's your teenager... 87 00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,713 Team B, those are your two teenagers. 88 00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:35,256 Alright, sweet! 89 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:38,927 Me and Kenny and our teenagers are gonna smoke you guys! 90 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:43,556 ♪♪ 91 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,600 Teenager: Go! Go, go, go, go, go! 92 00:03:45,683 --> 00:03:47,685 Come on! This way! 93 00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,396 Yes! Yes! Yes! 94 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:56,569 ♪♪ 95 00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:15,922 ♪♪ 96 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:19,175 [ BBs firing ] 97 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,808 I got you, Cartman! 98 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:28,309 You didn't get me. 99 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,728 I totally got you, I heard it hit your jacket... 100 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,313 Say hit and go back to respawn! 101 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,606 You didn't hit me, Kyle! 102 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,650 The BBs bounced off a leaf or something, 'cause... 103 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:36,609 Agh! Agh! 104 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,444 Ok... Ok hit! 105 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:39,779 You got me. That was sweet. 106 00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:45,493 I'm outta green gas, you got green gas?! 107 00:04:45,576 --> 00:04:47,203 Yeah, I got some right here, partner! 108 00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:52,959 Bruh! Keep shooting! 109 00:04:53,042 --> 00:04:54,419 Whoo-hoo! 110 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,011 Oh, my God... 111 00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,763 This is the greatest day of my [bleep] life. 112 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,977 Ow! Ow! 113 00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,395 Hit! 114 00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:16,482 Yes! Yes! That was so awesome! 115 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:18,317 You guys, Airsoft [bleep] rules! 116 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,028 This is... Ow! Hit! Hit! 117 00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:21,404 This is sweet! 118 00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:26,701 - That was so cool! - Mrphh rmhprh mrphmrhmrh! - Best thing ever! 119 00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:29,328 Dude, I can't believe we tied! That was epic. 120 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:32,206 Yeah, well, Team Floppy Weiner will get you guys next time! 121 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:34,834 That was seriously the best time I've had in forever! 122 00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:37,045 - Me too! - And you know what else is cool? 123 00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,838 We all have teenagers now! 124 00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:40,840 I know! My teenager said he's gonna come over 125 00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,341 and show me how to clean my gun! 126 00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:44,135 Cartman, are you okay? 127 00:05:44,218 --> 00:05:45,970 [ Sniffles ] 128 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,222 I'm just really happy, you guys... 129 00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:49,640 Airsoft is seriously, like, 130 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,350 the greatest thing in the whole world. 131 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,310 [ Sniffles ] 132 00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:53,644 Well, here's my house. 133 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,229 Thanks, you guys. 134 00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:56,647 For just a few, brief hours... 135 00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,316 I forgot how much everything sucks. 136 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:05,281 Can we promise each other we'll do Airsoft, like, all the time? 137 00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:06,365 Hell yeah, dude. 138 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,201 We just gotta keep our teenagers happy 139 00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:10,203 and we can play Airsoft all the time. 140 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:12,622 I love you guys. 141 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,098 Hey, Kyle... Uh, how did the Airsoft go? 142 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:33,392 I took a BB right to the face with a sniper rifle. 143 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:34,894 It was so great, Dad. 144 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,940 Are you sure this isn't all a little too much for you, son? 145 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:41,067 I'm not a baby anymore, Dad! 146 00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,401 [ Doorbell rings ] Ooh! 147 00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,070 Oh, that's probably my teenager! 148 00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:45,363 See ya, Dad. I love you! 149 00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:46,446 I love you, too, Kyle. 150 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,116 [ Doorbell ringing insistently ] 151 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,742 I got it! 152 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:53,746 Gerald... why is Kyle wearing my makeup on his face? 153 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:56,207 He's just... Experimenting. 154 00:06:56,290 --> 00:07:00,002 [ Ringing continues ] 155 00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:03,256 Are you Kyle? 156 00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:04,423 Yeah! 157 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,300 I'm here to drop off Trevor. 158 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,136 He said he's your teenager now. 159 00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,387 Yah, that's right! 160 00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:12,056 Okay! Well, good luck. 161 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,808 What time are you picking me up?! 162 00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:17,061 Just gimme a call... Don't make it too soon, though, 163 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,771 because I am going to relax. 164 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,606 Fine, go ahead, I'm glad! 165 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:23,276 Go away, I don't wanna see your stupid [bleep] face! 166 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:31,450 Cool, dude, so, uh, you wanna, like, clean our Airsoft guns? 167 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:32,827 I'm [bleep] starving to death. 168 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,662 Can you make me some [bleep] food?! 169 00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:36,747 Wul... Like what kind of food do you want? 170 00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,791 [bleep] leave me alone! 171 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,209 Okay! Okay! Okay! 172 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:46,757 [ Cellphone rings ] 173 00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:47,967 Hello? 174 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,469 Bruh, how do I make ramen? 175 00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:54,307 Excuse me? 176 00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:57,518 I'm starving, and the instructions are all stupid. 177 00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,812 Oh, is this my teenager? 178 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:00,980 How's it going, dude? 179 00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:02,607 It's not going! 180 00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:04,775 The ramen's all hard and I can't eat it like that! 181 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:07,612 Wul, you have to put the noodles in boiling water. 182 00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:10,031 Where do I get water? 183 00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:13,367 You... Do you have a sink? 184 00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,119 Bruh. 185 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:16,871 Bruh, what? 186 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:19,624 I'm sorry I'm not a five star chef! 187 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,167 Hey, man, it's cool. Lemme uh... 188 00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:22,835 Lemme slow it down for ya. 189 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,504 ♪♪ 190 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:30,635 [ Indistinct shouting, BBs firing ] 191 00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:33,804 Swamp Sniper: That one right there! Take him out! 192 00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:36,349 Dude, Swamp Sniper rules. 193 00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:45,066 Hello? 194 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,859 What... What are you doing, dude? 195 00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:49,528 I need a bathroom. 196 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:51,697 Y-You need to use my bathroom? 197 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,617 I have to go to the bathroom... Brah, what?! 198 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,415 [ Knock on door ] 199 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,376 Dude, Kenny, the weirdest thing just happened. 200 00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:04,919 My teenager showed up at my house, 201 00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,046 and he's acting really strange. 202 00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,339 Mrph rmhmhm rm! 203 00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:10,216 Yours did too? 204 00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:12,843 Why do I have all these [bleep] zits on my face?! 205 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:15,221 Mrph rmhmhm rm mrph rmhmhm rm! 206 00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:16,722 You don't even [bleep] care! 207 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:19,141 You don't care because you don't even [bleep] know me! 208 00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:24,897 What the hell are these things? 209 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,238 [ BBs firing ] 210 00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:34,115 Mrph rmhmhm rm! 211 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,420 Dude, that's my friend Kenny, we gotta kill him! 212 00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,088 I don't take orders from you! 213 00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:51,591 Okay, okay, but if we kill Kenny we get a point, right? 214 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:52,925 Come on! 215 00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:57,763 Agh! 216 00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,807 Mrph mrph mrph mrph! 217 00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:02,184 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 218 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,270 No shooting from less than 10 feet! 219 00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:05,688 I wasn't less than 10 feet! 220 00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,690 It's okay, it's fine. We're sorry. 221 00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:10,151 I'm not gonna play anymore. This is stupid. 222 00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:12,153 Dude, it's ok, it's just a gay rule. 223 00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:13,946 Come on, let's beat these guys! 224 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:18,159 [ BBs firing ] 225 00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:19,535 Hit! 226 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,833 [ Cellphone beeps ] 227 00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,126 Dude, Kyle, where are you? 228 00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,645 We started playing like 20 minutes ago. 229 00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:29,879 Yeah, I know! 230 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:32,131 My teenager asked me to take him shopping for hair gel. 231 00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:33,358 Hair gel?! What the [bleep] dude, 232 00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:34,967 we're getting killed out here! 233 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,053 Just do your best, I'll be there as fast as I can! 234 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,639 [ Cellphone beeps ] 235 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:42,725 Okay, here it is. This is the health care aisle. 236 00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,602 Could you go a little faster? 237 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,375 Okay, here's all the hair product stuff, 238 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,461 which one do you like to use? 239 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,819 I don't know. 240 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,071 What? 241 00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:56,238 I don't know! 242 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,240 Kyle? What are you doing? 243 00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,408 Ugh, nothing, I'm... 244 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:00,993 I'm just shopping with my teenager. 245 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,661 Can we go now? 246 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:07,625 Okay, but you asked me if I could buy you some hair gel. 247 00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,001 Shut up... 248 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:11,712 Well... at least I'm not the only one dealing with this crap. 249 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:16,759 Your guy wants hair gel, too? 250 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:19,595 No, my teenager wants more lotion. 251 00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:21,514 All this guy does is hang out in the bathroom 252 00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:23,477 and go through like two bottles of lotion a day. 253 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,767 I swear I don't know how soft 254 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,519 you could possibly want your hands to be. 255 00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:28,354 I just wanna get to the Airsoft field, 256 00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:30,064 Stan says your team is killing them! 257 00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:32,525 Damn right! Team Floppy Weiner will destroy you guys! 258 00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:34,527 Yeah, we'll see when I use my sniper rifle! 259 00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:35,778 You have to find me first! 260 00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,196 I gotta go to the bathroom. 261 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:38,948 Oh, you gotta be [bleep] kidding me. 262 00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:40,616 There's one over by the registers. 263 00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:42,535 No, you are not taking the lotion. 264 00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:44,453 I [bleep] hate you! 265 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,414 Okay, I'm sorry you hate me. 266 00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:49,041 Just wanna [bleep] play Airsoft, buddy. 267 00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:58,801 [ Cellphone ringing ] 268 00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:03,722 Oh, my God, you gotta be shitting me. 269 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,558 Yeah... hello? 270 00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:08,060 [ Lighter clicking ] 271 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,479 I'm not gay. 272 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,565 Whu... What? 273 00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:13,899 Why'd you call me gay?! 274 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,818 Like, what the hell do you know?! 275 00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,570 You don't even [bleep] know me. 276 00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,780 I-I didn't call you gay. 277 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,158 They said I couldn't shoot a BB within 10 feet, 278 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,742 and I just had to say bang bang, 279 00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,911 and you got all salty and said I was gay. 280 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,496 I was saying the rule was gay. 281 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,249 I wasn't talking anything about sexual orientation. 282 00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,251 Brah. 283 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:33,979 You're right, I shouldn't have used that word! 284 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,480 Look... I was one of the first people ever 285 00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:37,149 to say there was nothing wrong with being gay. 286 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,090 I had a dog that was gay! 287 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,842 Oh, so I'm a [bleep] dog now?! 288 00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,260 I'll [bleep] kill you! 289 00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:43,012 Okay, dude... 290 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:45,014 What... Do you want me to do? 291 00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,183 I want you to just leave me alone! 292 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:51,270 Okay, but you called me... 293 00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:53,439 Hello? Hello? 294 00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:54,815 Teenager: [ Screaming ] 295 00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:55,900 What are you doing? 296 00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:57,943 I'm holding my hand over a lighter! 297 00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,154 It's burning the shit out of my hand! 298 00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:02,615 Okay, don't hold your hand over a lighter. 299 00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:04,783 Bruh! Bruh, this hurts so bad! 300 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,827 Oh, dude, it's [bleep] black. 301 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,788 Is that what a third degree burn looks like?! 302 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,999 Jesus [bleep] Christ. 303 00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:14,627 Dood, I just so lit burned my hand. 304 00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:17,963 I need like... I need like emergency services. 305 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:19,632 Bruh, that was stoopid. 306 00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:21,383 Yeah, that was kinda stupid. 307 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,428 I'm not [bleep] stupid! 308 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,642 I seriously don't know what to do... 309 00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:32,811 I've tried being nice, I've tried being harsh... 310 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:35,022 And I get nothing from my teenager. Nothing. 311 00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:36,273 Mrph. 312 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,483 Wul, you're lucky. 313 00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:40,027 At least your teenager doesn't threaten to kill you. 314 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:42,196 I'd love him to threaten to do anything. 315 00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:43,864 I'd love him to do. Anything. 316 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:46,659 On the rare occasion that my teenager isn't in the bathroom, 317 00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:48,869 all he does is talk about his miserable life. 318 00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,163 I'm like... okay, dude, I've got problems too. 319 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:53,707 But of course teenagers don't care about your problems. 320 00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:56,043 I'm like, "Look, buddy, I live in a hot dog. Ok? 321 00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:58,671 Like, maybe let's stop bitching and just play Airsoft." 322 00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:00,899 But you can't say that because then they're just gonna... 323 00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,484 - Want to kill themselves. - Want to kill themselves. - Want to kill themselves. 324 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:03,759 Yes, yes. 325 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,387 Mrph rmhmhm rm? 326 00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,347 No, we can't give up on Airsoft... 327 00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,766 I'm like four hundred dollars into this hobby. 328 00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:12,393 And we love it. 329 00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:14,079 Except for the part about being around teenagers. 330 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,330 Well, apparently, a lot of people 331 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,456 are in the same situation we're in. 332 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,065 What do you mean? 333 00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:20,502 I've been reading this book... "Help, My Teenager Hates Me." 334 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,860 Wow. 335 00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,113 Yeah... and... it has some interesting ideas. 336 00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:26,532 It says we're basically just dealing with an age difference 337 00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,701 - and we need to try and connect with them. - Mrph? 338 00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:31,829 It says we should take them camping. 339 00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:34,707 Camping? 340 00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,417 [ Birds chirping ] 341 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,043 Bruh... 342 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:40,713 - Bruh... - Bruh... - Bruh... 343 00:14:40,796 --> 00:14:42,881 Alright, guys! We got the tents all set up. 344 00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:46,135 Yeah, check em out! 345 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:47,803 Boy, isn't it nice out here? 346 00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:49,221 Mrph rmhmhm rm! 347 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,640 There's a lake over there where we can rent kayaks! 348 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,934 So what do you guys wanna do? 349 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:56,812 Go home. 350 00:14:56,895 --> 00:15:00,399 K, yeah, we can do that later, but first maybe, um... 351 00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:02,484 let's bond a bit... 352 00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:06,113 Okay, looks like the tents are set up... 353 00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:07,448 Can you come out now? 354 00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:11,327 Teenager: I'm going to the bathroom! 355 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,013 Okay, well, you should probably finish up. 356 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:14,437 I know you took the lotion in there. 357 00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:16,182 You really don't need soft hands for camping. 358 00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:18,167 Leave me alone! 359 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,421 Come on, dude. 360 00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:24,632 No shit in the world takes that long. 361 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:30,387 [ Knock on door ] 362 00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,431 Hey, buddy, what's up? 363 00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,725 I thought you were gonna go out and play Airsoft today? 364 00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:37,144 No... I don't think I'm gonna go... 365 00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:38,937 Oh. 366 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,773 D-Did something happen? 367 00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:41,958 You wouldn't understand, Dad. 368 00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:44,151 I just can't deal with teenagers. 369 00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:47,488 Oh. Well, you know, they say 370 00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:49,615 that the brain chemistry of a teenager 371 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,659 is the same as that of a psychopath. 372 00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,160 The hormones and all that... 373 00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:57,289 it's been proven they're literally criminally insane. 374 00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:58,916 You know, I just... 375 00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:02,836 I just wanted to have fun... And shoot my friends. 376 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,173 I-I just wanted to shoot my friends, dad. 377 00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:08,467 Oh, buddy, well, 378 00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:10,636 maybe you could ask the Airsoft field 379 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,805 to let you play without the teenagers. 380 00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:15,015 We did! They said they hate the teenagers 381 00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:17,935 just as much as anybody, but they can't get rid of them. 382 00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:20,145 And we've got no one else to partner with. 383 00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:25,567 Well... did you guys ever consider your dads? 384 00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:35,160 Come on in, boys. 385 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:36,995 Jesus Christ... 386 00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:39,998 How long has this store been here? 387 00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,709 What do you think? 388 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,628 This one can shoot a thousand BBs in like five seconds. 389 00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,004 Seems pretty dangerous. 390 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,549 What if the police thought that gun was real? 391 00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:50,217 No, it's safe. See? 392 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:53,220 As long as your gun has a red tip and you're white, 393 00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:54,680 police won't shoot you. 394 00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:55,889 Oh, that's good. 395 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,142 How can I, uh... help you gentlemen? 396 00:16:58,225 --> 00:16:59,351 We need some equipment. 397 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,729 We're gonna try and take out some teenagers. 398 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:06,483 Huh... I think that's a somewhat foolhardy plan. 399 00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:09,361 Have you seen the kind of weaponry the teenagers buy? 400 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:12,197 It's some of the biggest, nastiest weapons we sell. 401 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:16,702 Yeah, well, I've got something bigger. 402 00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:19,705 American Express Platinum. 403 00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:22,541 Give me one of everything you have. 404 00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:25,377 Yes, sir! 405 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:29,590 We... have completely had it up to here with you. 406 00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:30,883 Up to here! 407 00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:33,177 Our friend Kyle just wanted to play Airsoft. 408 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,387 And now he's quit because of your attitudes. 409 00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:37,514 What do you have to say for yourselves? 410 00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:40,184 Brah. 411 00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:42,436 Yeah, brah, great, thank you. 412 00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,104 I can't... I can't. 413 00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,106 Guys, things have to improve. 414 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,357 They just have to. 415 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,902 I've never seen anyone so disrespectful. 416 00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:51,779 Mrph rmhmhm rm mrph rmhmhm rm! 417 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,447 Mrph rmhmhm rm mrph rmhmhm rm? 418 00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:55,407 Mrph rmhmhm rm mrph rmhmhm rm! 419 00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,785 I have never seen Kenny like this ever. 420 00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,745 Fine! Then just leave! 421 00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:01,705 Cuz we don't want you here. 422 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,207 And we don't want you here! 423 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:05,125 We just wanna [bleep] play Airsoft 424 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,044 without any of you on our team! 425 00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:09,421 Fine, then why don't you just be on your own team? 426 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:10,631 That sounds totally fine! 427 00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:12,424 Us against you, let's [bleep] go! 428 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:16,053 Fine and if we win, you stay out of our lives forever! 429 00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:18,764 Fine, and you too when we beat all you! 430 00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,641 Yeah, you and what army? 431 00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,351 Gerald: This army! 432 00:18:27,689 --> 00:18:28,753 Dad? 433 00:18:28,754 --> 00:18:29,817 Mrph? 434 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,611 Any of you pussy teenagers wanna Airsoft 435 00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:34,488 against some drunk rednecks? 436 00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:35,760 [ Airsoft gun cocks ] 437 00:18:35,761 --> 00:18:36,949 [ Gulping ] 438 00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:41,119 We got new partners, guys! 439 00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,413 That's awesome. I wish I had a dad. 440 00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:45,749 And that I didn't live in a hot dog. 441 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:48,001 Oh, we got you a partner, too, Eric. 442 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,462 You might remember Stan's Uncle Jimbo. 443 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,172 ♪♪ 444 00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:56,134 Did somebody say somethin' about Airsoft against teenagers?! 445 00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,136 ♪♪ 446 00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,472 [ BBs firing ] 447 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,266 ♪♪ 448 00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:04,518 ♪ When they called me broken ♪ 449 00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:06,854 ♪ I knew ♪ 450 00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:08,105 ♪ When they called me evil ♪ 451 00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,523 Ow! Hit! 452 00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:11,358 Ow! I said hit, you bitch! 453 00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,610 That's it, son! Light em up! 454 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,654 Mrph rmhmhm rm! 455 00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:17,865 - Hit! - Hit! 456 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:18,991 Brah! 457 00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:21,952 Yee-haw! 458 00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:24,288 ♪♪ 459 00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:26,790 But there's one teenager I can't seem to find! 460 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:30,043 I know where he is... 461 00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:32,462 ♪♪ 462 00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:35,007 ♪ When I begged forgiveness ♪ 463 00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:37,175 ♪ They knew ♪ 464 00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,719 I'm so sick of this crap... 465 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:39,970 ♪ When I begged for mercy ♪ 466 00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:42,347 ♪ They knew ♪ 467 00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:44,224 Bruh! What the hell are you doin'?! 468 00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:47,394 What you do to Jergens Lotion isn't right. 469 00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:50,230 ♪ I would always find my way ♪ 470 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:51,648 Ow! Ow! Ow! 471 00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,025 Ow! Ow! Bruh! 472 00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,693 Aah, bruh! 473 00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:58,155 - Aah! - [ Grunting ] 474 00:19:58,238 --> 00:20:01,533 Ow, my dick! My dick! Aah! 475 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:04,202 They're not coming out of cover! I don't see them! 476 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:05,579 It's ok, I've got an idea. 477 00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:09,541 ♪♪ 478 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:10,709 Cover me. 479 00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:18,792 ♪♪ 480 00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,889 [ Sniffing ] 481 00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:25,265 Bruh... 482 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:26,892 [ Sniffing ] 483 00:20:26,975 --> 00:20:29,686 Dood... that's weed. I smell weed. 484 00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:32,230 ♪ My name is ruin ♪ 485 00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:33,607 ♪ My name is vengeance ♪ 486 00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:34,900 That smells dope! 487 00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:36,193 ♪ My name is no one ♪ 488 00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:39,571 Dood, it's a whole lit jar of weed! 489 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:42,115 Dope! That is so dope. Bruh! 490 00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:44,409 ♪ I'll show you broken ♪ 491 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,578 ♪ I'll show you shameless ♪ 492 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:47,955 Bruh! 493 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,915 Teenager: Ow! Aah! Yow! 494 00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:52,417 - Bruh! Bruh! - Bruh! Bruh! - Aah! 495 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,586 Yeah! 496 00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:57,881 - That was so epic! - Did you see how those teenagers ran? 497 00:20:57,965 --> 00:20:59,925 [ Indistinct shouting ] 498 00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:01,551 That was so sweet, you guys! 499 00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:04,596 I bet the teenagers will never go back to that place again! 500 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,806 Of course they won't! 501 00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:08,100 I saw half of em' break their guns in frustration. 502 00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:09,518 Hey, thanks, you guys. 503 00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:12,145 We couldn't have gotten rid of the teenagers without you. 504 00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:13,751 Yeah, thanks, Dad. 505 00:21:13,752 --> 00:21:15,273 Mrph rm! 506 00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,234 Hey, that's what we're here for, right? 507 00:21:17,317 --> 00:21:19,611 We're just glad you wanted to spend some time with us. 508 00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:20,821 Well, I'm hungry, 509 00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:22,990 is there any place around here to get a hot dog? 510 00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:24,783 Yes... Yes, I live in a hot dog. 511 00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:26,243 It's right over here! 512 00:21:26,326 --> 00:21:28,286 Come on, you guys, help me get it all ready! 513 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:29,601 Ok, let's go! 514 00:21:29,602 --> 00:21:30,831 Come on, guys! 515 00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:34,251 ♪♪ 516 00:21:34,334 --> 00:21:36,461 Should I take them out now? 517 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:38,296 Not yet... 518 00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:42,134 We still have a few good years before they turn into monsters. 519 00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:45,804 ♪ When they called me broken ♪ 520 00:21:55,897 --> 00:22:03,897 ♪♪