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PC PRINCIPAL:
All right, everyone. Listen up.
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Today, we're gonna be
showing you some art
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from our Asian-American
students, and...
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Damn it, Leslie!
Shut your [bleep] pie hole!
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From our
Asian-American students
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presented by
student-body president,
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Wendy Testaberger.
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Hey, guys.
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As you know,
we have several new students
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here at South Park Elementary.
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We have been getting to know
some of the Asian girls,
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who have introduced us
to an art style called "yaoi."
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Yaoi is a blend
of emotion and beauty
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involving two people
whose love is looked down upon.
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The art tries to show
that all love is magical,
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like in Lisa Akimoto's piece,
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"Tweek and Craig:
Forbidden Love."
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[ Girls "Aww" ]
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What?!
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Kelly Zhou goes
a bit more whimsical
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with "Craig and Tweek
Moonlight Dance."
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[ Girls "Aww" ]
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Dude, what the [bleep]?
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In yaoi art, the seme, or "top,"
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is usually dominating
the uke, or "bottom,"
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as demonstrated
in Heather Nishimura's
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"Tweek and Craig: Boizu Rabu."
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[ Girls "Aww" and applause ]
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But yaoi can branch out
to other things, as well...
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Uh-oh.
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As we see here in
"Lilly, Frog, Tweek, and Craig."
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I just don't get it.
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I mean, Tweek and Craig
aren't gay, right?
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No.
We would know.
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Well, but then why would
Asian girls draw them like that?
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Yeah, what is
this yaoi thing all about?
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I'm so co-confused.
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And if it can happen
to Tweek and Craig,
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could it happen to any of us?
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Uh, excuse me.
Why are you doing this?
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Oh, hi, Craig.
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[ Speaking Korean ]
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[ Speaking Korean ]
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What?
What did she say?
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I don't know. That was Korean.
I'm Japanese.
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What is going on, huh?!
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Me and him aren't together!
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Why is this happening?!
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[ Speaking Korean ]
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Everyone thinks I'm gay!
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What if my parents
find out?! Aah!
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PC PRINCIPAL: All right, guys,
I know there's been
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a lot of rumors flying around.
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Just wanted to check in, see if
you have any questions for me.
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Why are the Asian girls drawing
pictures of us being gay?
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What's wrong with being gay?
Nothing wrong with that.
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But we aren't.
I'm not.
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I'm not either!
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That is completely
irrelevant, okay?
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What matters, and the reason
I brought you in here,
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is that you understand
affirmative consent.
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What's that?
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If there is
a romantic relationship here,
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you have to make sure
your partner is comfortable
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with any sexual exploration.
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Aah!
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Now, in a gay relationship,
it gets a little trickier,
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but you still have to follow
some guidelines, all right?
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But I'm not gay!
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I don't care about that, bro!
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Tweek, if...
And I'm only saying if...
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At some point, you wanted
to touch Craig's penis,
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you can't just go grabbing
for it, all right?
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You would need to say
something like,
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"Craig, is it all right with you
if I touch your penis?"
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Okay?
Let's try it out.
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No!
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You want two weeks detention
instead?!
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This shit's important!
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Craig, can I touch your penis?
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Okay. Good.
Now, Craig, you might say,
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"You may touch my penis.
I'm comfortable with that."
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Or, of course, you could say,
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"No, you may not touch my penis
at this time."
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No, you may not.
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Okay. Now we're
getting somewhere.
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Now, Craig, what would you say
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if you wanted to take a gander
at Tweek's asshole?
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Randy, you should have
a talk with Stan.
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For what?
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I guess something happened
at school today
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involving two of Stan's friends
[whispers] being gay.
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What?
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Yeah, Stan seems
really perplexed.
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Wow.
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Our town has only had
a Whole Foods for three weeks,
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and we already have
our first gay kids.
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So cool.
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Go talk to him, Randy,
and be delicate.
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Hey, bud.
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How's it hanging?
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I'm confused, Dad.
There was this thing at school.
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Well, guess what.
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You've got a really
progressive P.C. dad
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who knows all about
this stuff, okay?
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Go ahead.
Ask me anything.
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I just don't understand
how it's decided.
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Ah, well, you see,
it's a combination
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of genetic, hormonal,
and environmental influences.
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No, I mean, like,
what makes the Asians decide
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who they're gonna make gay?
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The Asians?
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The Asians decide
who's gonna be gay?
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Uh, uh, yeah.
Yeah, they do.
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Uh, the Asians just, you know...
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They just pick who they pick,
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and, um, so it's
the way it's always been.
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So, you've heard of yaoi?
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[ Chuckles ]
Yeah, of course.
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Yaoi, anal intercourse,
Maui Zaui.
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I-I know
all this stuff, Stan.
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Oh, hey, Thomas!
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Hey, we heard about Craig.
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We think it's just terrific.
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What about Craig?
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Thomas, I'm so glad
that Craig is finally happy.
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Hey! It's Craig's dad,
everybody!
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[ Scattered applause ]
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Tweek's out of coffee, honey.
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Oh, here you go, kiddo.
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Tweek, is there anything
you want to talk to us about?
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No.
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Well, we heard that you're gay.
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And I want you to know we've
never been so proud of you.
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Oh, God!
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We thought you were just a spaz,
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but to know you've got
so much going on inside...
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We're so proud of you, Tweek.
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[ Groans ]
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Knowing what I know now,
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I'm gonna be
a much better dad to you.
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In fact, I just...
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I just want to give you
some money, Tweek.
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Can I give you some money?
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Here. I-I love you
so much, son.
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♪ The Book of Love
is long and boring ♪
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♪ No one can lift
the damn thing ♪
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♪ It's full of charts and facts
and figures ♪
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♪ And instructions
for dancing ♪
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♪ But I-I-I-I-I-I
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♪ I love it
when you read to me ♪
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♪ And you-u-u-u-u-u
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♪ You can read me anything
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♪ The Book of Love
has music in it ♪
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♪ In fact, that's where
music comes from ♪
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♪ Some of it's
just transcendental ♪
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♪ Some of it's
just really dumb ♪
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♪ But I-I-I-I-I-I
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♪ I love it
when you sing to me ♪
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♪ And you-u-u-u-u-u
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♪ You can sing me anything
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CARTMAN: [ Thinking ]
Dude, Tweek and Craig.
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It's just so weird.
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If they've been gay
this whole time,
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have they been checking me out?
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I'm pretty sure
Craig has seen my wiener.
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Should I kick his ass?
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[ Twinkle! ]
Oh, come on!
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What's wrong with two guys
liking each other?
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I just don't understand it,
Cupid Me.
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Wanting to, like, kiss a dude?
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But if love is love,
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then it takes form in all shapes
and sizes. Tee hee!
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I guess just because
I don't understand it
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doesn't mean
I shouldn't support it.
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All right.
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Maybe you can help them along.
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Really? Can I?
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Yes, Cupid Me. Make it quick.
Don't let anyone see you.
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Oh, thank you!
I will!
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Tee hee hee!
Tee hee hee hee!
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Tee hee hee!
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[ Snoring ]
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Tee hee hee!
Tee hee!
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You just need
a little spark of magic.
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[ Twinkle! ]
Tee hee hee!
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And now I'm gonna pee
in your mouth.
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[ Chuckles ]
Love is in the air!
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[ Twinkle! ]
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Did you do it, Cupid Me?
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I hit him with my love arrow,
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and then I peed in his mouth
just for fun.
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[ Laughs ]
That's awesome!
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That's so sweet!
[ Chuckles ]
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I thought you might like that.
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Yeah, dude.
You're hilarious.
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And do you think I'm cute, too?
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'Cause I think
you're kind of cute.
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00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:05,880
Stop that, Cupid Me.
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00:08:05,881 --> 00:08:08,519
I told you I'm not homosexual,
okay? It's not funny.
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00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,520
Oh, well. At least Tweek
and Craig are in love now.
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Yep. School tomorrow
should be really interesting.
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And so then my dad
talked to me about it.
Yeah?
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And my dad says Asians
have always done this,
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and they, like,
do make people gay.
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You guys!
You guys! Hurry!
What?
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00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:24,880
It's... It's
Tweek and Craig, dude!
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They're about to have sex!
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00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,519
You got a [bleep] problem, man?
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00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:30,520
You're the one
with the [bleep] problem!
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00:08:30,521 --> 00:08:32,519
I told you to stay
100 yards from me!
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00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,519
You better not
[bleep] push me again, man!
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00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,519
Oh, God, you guys.
Get a room.
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00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,520
[ Cheering ]
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00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:46,520
Hello. Mr. Tucker?
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00:08:46,521 --> 00:08:48,519
I need to inform you
that your son
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was in an altercation
at school today.
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00:08:50,020 --> 00:08:52,519
Craig?
Craig got in a fight?
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Yes, with his boyfriend.
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00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:55,800
Just a lovers' quarrel,
probably.
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God damn it.
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00:08:56,521 --> 00:08:58,519
Something to be expected
in relationships.
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00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,519
Apparently, there were
no affirmative-consent issues,
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00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:01,719
as your son knows the right way
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00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:03,000
to play with
another boy's penis.
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00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,510
Oh, God.
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00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,519
There's not gonna be
any disciplinary action.
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00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:07,520
Since they are gay,
we want to be supportive.
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00:09:07,521 --> 00:09:09,000
So, we're just gonna
send them on home
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00:09:09,020 --> 00:09:10,519
with some money, all right?
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00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,310
All right, you have a nice day.
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00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:14,400
Money?
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00:09:15,690 --> 00:09:18,989
[ Chinese music plays ]
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00:09:18,990 --> 00:09:23,989
[ Speaking Chinese ]
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00:09:23,990 --> 00:09:24,990
[ Sighs ]
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00:09:24,991 --> 00:09:26,989
[ Speaking Chinese ]
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00:09:26,990 --> 00:09:28,989
Uh, hi. Mr. Jinping?
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00:09:28,990 --> 00:09:29,990
Thanks for taking my call.
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00:09:30,010 --> 00:09:32,980
I was just wondering
if you could shed some light
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on how your people
decide who will be gay
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00:09:34,990 --> 00:09:36,989
and who will be straight.
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00:09:36,990 --> 00:09:37,990
[ Chinese accent ]
What?!
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00:09:37,991 --> 00:09:40,989
I'm sorry. I-I don't speak
Asian, but, um...
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Oh, uh... Oh!
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00:09:41,991 --> 00:09:43,989
Y-Yaoi. Yaoi, yes?
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Boyzu love-u.
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H-How does that work?
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00:09:46,991 --> 00:09:48,989
That come from Japan.
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00:09:48,990 --> 00:09:50,989
Oh, it's Japan that decides?
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00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:52,989
How the hell do they actually
make people ga...
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00:09:52,990 --> 00:09:54,989
And Japan, of course,
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00:09:54,990 --> 00:09:56,989
is who does the yaoi
to make people gay.
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00:09:56,990 --> 00:10:00,989
They are dogs
who refuse not apologize
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00:10:00,990 --> 00:10:01,990
to the Chinese Republic!
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00:10:01,991 --> 00:10:03,989
Uh-huh. Yes.
That, of course,
256
00:10:03,990 --> 00:10:05,989
I do already know
about homosexuality.
257
00:10:05,990 --> 00:10:08,989
[ Doorbell rings ]
258
00:10:08,990 --> 00:10:11,989
Hi. Flower delivery
for Eric Cartman.
259
00:10:11,990 --> 00:10:13,989
Oh, my.
How beautiful!
260
00:10:13,990 --> 00:10:16,989
Oh, look, sweetie!
Someone sent you flowers.
261
00:10:16,990 --> 00:10:19,989
CARTMAN:
"Can't we just try? TeeHee."
262
00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:20,990
Oh, man.
263
00:10:20,991 --> 00:10:22,989
Who are they from, hon?
264
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,989
Someone who needs
a real talking to. [ Sighs ]
265
00:10:25,990 --> 00:10:28,989
Look, it's flattering, okay?
266
00:10:28,990 --> 00:10:30,189
But it doesn't change the fact
267
00:10:30,190 --> 00:10:32,190
that there's nothing here
for you to keep pursuing.
268
00:10:32,220 --> 00:10:34,989
Tee hee hee! Aw, come on.
Let's be like Tweek and Craig.
269
00:10:34,990 --> 00:10:36,989
Everyone thinks they're cute.
270
00:10:36,990 --> 00:10:39,989
You are wasting your time.
I'm not attracted to guys.
271
00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:41,989
But I'm so attracted to you.
272
00:10:41,990 --> 00:10:44,989
I realize that, and I'm sorry.
273
00:10:44,990 --> 00:10:46,989
I need you to stop bothering me.
274
00:10:46,990 --> 00:10:49,989
This... is done.
275
00:10:49,990 --> 00:10:51,990
I'm just not a homosexual.
276
00:10:54,990 --> 00:10:56,990
[ Doorbell rings ]
277
00:10:58,990 --> 00:11:01,989
Well, hello, Craig.
278
00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:03,989
Honey, it's Craig.
279
00:11:03,990 --> 00:11:06,989
Aww, hi, Craig.
280
00:11:06,990 --> 00:11:07,990
Is Tweek home?
281
00:11:07,991 --> 00:11:09,990
He sure is.
Come on in.
282
00:11:15,990 --> 00:11:17,989
Would you like to have
some coffee, Craig?
283
00:11:17,990 --> 00:11:19,989
No, thank you.
I just want to see Tweek.
284
00:11:19,990 --> 00:11:20,990
Aww.
285
00:11:20,991 --> 00:11:22,989
Tweek's just
up in his room playing.
286
00:11:22,990 --> 00:11:23,990
You can go on up.
287
00:11:23,991 --> 00:11:26,990
Oh, uh, but keep the door open,
all right?
288
00:11:28,990 --> 00:11:31,989
They're so gay.
289
00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:33,989
Aargh! Aah! Unh!
290
00:11:33,990 --> 00:11:35,989
Aah!
291
00:11:35,990 --> 00:11:36,990
Hey, dude.
292
00:11:36,990 --> 00:11:37,990
[ Spits ] Aah!
293
00:11:37,991 --> 00:11:39,989
No! No!
What are you doing here?
294
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,989
Tweek, calm down. We have
to put a stop to this.
295
00:11:41,990 --> 00:11:43,989
There's no stopping it!
296
00:11:43,990 --> 00:11:45,910
The whole world wants me
to be something I'm not!
297
00:11:45,930 --> 00:11:47,980
Me, too, dude. But there's
something we can do.
298
00:11:47,990 --> 00:11:49,989
What?!
299
00:11:49,990 --> 00:11:51,989
We have to come out
and say we're gay.
300
00:11:51,990 --> 00:11:53,989
What?!
Are you insane?!
301
00:11:53,990 --> 00:11:54,990
[ Sputters ] Aah!
302
00:11:54,991 --> 00:11:57,989
Tweek, Tweek. Because, if
we're gay, then we can break up.
303
00:11:57,990 --> 00:11:59,989
And if we break up,
no more pictures.
304
00:11:59,990 --> 00:12:01,989
We just have to stage
a fake breakup
305
00:12:01,990 --> 00:12:03,989
in front of the Asian girls.
306
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,070
Like acting?! No, man.
That is way too much pressure.
307
00:12:06,090 --> 00:12:06,980
[ Whimpers ]
308
00:12:06,990 --> 00:12:07,990
You can do it, Tweek.
309
00:12:07,991 --> 00:12:09,989
You're capable of more
than you think.
310
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:10,990
Ugh!
I'm a terrible actor.
311
00:12:11,010 --> 00:12:14,980
You just follow my lead and try
and make it believable, okay?
312
00:12:14,990 --> 00:12:17,990
Oh, God. Okay.
Oh, God!
313
00:12:18,990 --> 00:12:20,989
What did I do wrong, huh?
314
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,989
Everyone's so damn happy,
315
00:12:22,990 --> 00:12:25,989
but... but why did this
have to happen to my son?
316
00:12:25,990 --> 00:12:27,989
What did I do to
make my son like this?
317
00:12:27,990 --> 00:12:30,989
Hey, hey, whoa.
You didn't do anything.
318
00:12:30,990 --> 00:12:32,989
Oh, what?
You know about this?
319
00:12:32,990 --> 00:12:34,989
Yeah, let me handle
this, guys. I'm P.C.
320
00:12:34,990 --> 00:12:37,989
Look, Thomas, you need
to understand that being gay
321
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:38,990
isn't a decision.
322
00:12:38,991 --> 00:12:40,989
You know, a lot of people
think that Asians decide
323
00:12:40,990 --> 00:12:42,989
who's gay and who's not.
324
00:12:42,990 --> 00:12:43,990
But it isn't all Asians.
325
00:12:43,991 --> 00:12:45,989
It's just specifically
the Japanese, okay?
326
00:12:45,990 --> 00:12:47,989
What?
327
00:12:47,990 --> 00:12:50,989
Why do the Japanese make
some people gay and others not?
328
00:12:50,990 --> 00:12:52,989
Well, it goes back
to World War II
329
00:12:52,990 --> 00:12:54,989
and atrocities that happened
in China called
330
00:12:54,990 --> 00:12:56,989
the Rape of Don King.
331
00:12:56,990 --> 00:12:58,989
Well, you sure know
a lot about this.
332
00:12:58,990 --> 00:13:00,989
Yes, I do.
333
00:13:00,990 --> 00:13:02,989
No, dude.
I looked it up.
334
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,989
Yaoi is just an art style
for girls by girls
335
00:13:04,990 --> 00:13:07,989
because they like fictionalizing
two guys in a relationship.
336
00:13:07,990 --> 00:13:08,490
But why?
337
00:13:08,990 --> 00:13:10,989
I don't know.
But the point is,
338
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,990
there's nothing about it
that means Tweek and Craig
339
00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:14,010
are actually gay at all.
340
00:13:16,990 --> 00:13:18,989
Hey, Tweek.
Hold up.
341
00:13:18,990 --> 00:13:21,989
Listen, it's just not
going to work.
342
00:13:21,990 --> 00:13:23,989
What?!
Why not?!
343
00:13:23,990 --> 00:13:26,989
I'm sorry, Tweek, but we
can't lie to ourselves anymore.
344
00:13:26,990 --> 00:13:29,989
Yes, we are gay.
But we do not belong together.
345
00:13:29,990 --> 00:13:32,989
We don't belong together?
What suddenly changed, Craig?
346
00:13:32,990 --> 00:13:35,989
It's just that people
are different. That's all.
347
00:13:35,990 --> 00:13:37,989
Uh-huh.
And who the hell is Michael?
348
00:13:37,990 --> 00:13:40,989
Huh? You want to
tell me that?!
349
00:13:40,990 --> 00:13:42,989
Uh, what are you...
What are you talking about?
350
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,390
I went through your phone when
we went out last night, Craig.
351
00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:47,980
I saw your text to Michael
about hooking up with him!
352
00:13:47,990 --> 00:13:50,989
Wait, uh... t-that's
not what happened.
353
00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:51,990
Oh, it's not?!
354
00:13:51,991 --> 00:13:55,989
No. L-look, we both know
this is for the better.
355
00:13:55,990 --> 00:13:57,989
Oh, don't use that
lame shit on me, man.
356
00:13:57,990 --> 00:13:59,070
You don't want to feel bad,
357
00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:00,980
so you try and tell me
what I want?!
358
00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:02,989
Tweek, don't make me out
to be the bad guy here.
359
00:14:02,990 --> 00:14:04,070
No, you're not the bad guy.
360
00:14:04,090 --> 00:14:05,980
You're never the bad guy,
are you?!
361
00:14:05,990 --> 00:14:07,989
You... you just step on people
and you use them!
362
00:14:07,990 --> 00:14:09,030
You're going too far, dude.
363
00:14:09,050 --> 00:14:10,980
This is, like,
totally not necessary.
364
00:14:10,990 --> 00:14:12,989
I'm going too far?!
What is wrong with you?!
365
00:14:12,990 --> 00:14:14,989
This wasn't part of the plan.
366
00:14:14,990 --> 00:14:17,989
Well, guess what, Craig?!
Love doesn't follow a plan!
367
00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:18,990
Yeah!
368
00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:20,989
I was totally wrong about you.
369
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:22,989
I opened myself up
and let you in,
370
00:14:22,990 --> 00:14:24,989
but you've got spikes, man.
371
00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:26,989
You've got spikes.
372
00:14:26,990 --> 00:14:28,989
[ A Great Big World's
"Say Something" playing ]
373
00:14:28,990 --> 00:14:36,990
Tweek!
374
00:14:37,990 --> 00:14:40,989
Dude, seriously?
Seriously?!
375
00:14:40,990 --> 00:14:40,990
[ Thunder rumbles ]
376
00:14:40,991 --> 00:14:42,989
♪ Say something
377
00:14:42,990 --> 00:14:44,989
♪ I'm giving up on you
378
00:14:44,990 --> 00:14:48,990
They... they broke up?
379
00:14:51,990 --> 00:14:56,990
♪ I'll be the one
if you want me to ♪
380
00:15:00,990 --> 00:15:06,990
♪ Anywhere,
I would have followed you ♪
381
00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:12,990
♪ Say something
382
00:15:12,991 --> 00:15:16,990
♪ I'm giving up on you
383
00:15:21,990 --> 00:15:23,989
♪ Say something
384
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:26,990
♪ I'm giving up on you
385
00:15:33,990 --> 00:15:36,990
♪ Say something
386
00:15:40,990 --> 00:15:42,990
[ Music ends ]
387
00:15:55,290 --> 00:15:57,280
[ Whispering ]
What are you doing?
388
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,280
This place isn't you.
389
00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:00,280
I'm just here to
pick up on guys.
390
00:16:00,290 --> 00:16:01,280
Why? Are you jealous?
391
00:16:01,290 --> 00:16:03,280
No, I'm not.
392
00:16:03,290 --> 00:16:05,280
I'm here because
we need you right now.
393
00:16:05,290 --> 00:16:07,280
Oh, now you need me, huh?
394
00:16:07,290 --> 00:16:08,280
[Bleep] you, dude.
395
00:16:08,290 --> 00:16:09,280
[Bleep] you.
396
00:16:09,290 --> 00:16:12,280
What is that kid doing here?
397
00:16:12,290 --> 00:16:14,280
He's just kind of
talking to himself.
398
00:16:14,290 --> 00:16:18,280
The whole town is sad.
Cupid Me, you have to help.
399
00:16:18,290 --> 00:16:20,280
Well, I guess I could
try and help.
400
00:16:20,290 --> 00:16:23,280
In return for just one date?
401
00:16:23,290 --> 00:16:25,280
I'm not homosexual!
402
00:16:25,290 --> 00:16:28,280
Then I guess I'm not interested.
403
00:16:28,290 --> 00:16:30,280
[ Sighs ]
All right. One date.
404
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:32,450
But only if you help get
Tweek and Craig back together.
405
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:35,289
Tee hee hee!
Tee hee hee hee hee!
406
00:16:35,290 --> 00:16:37,280
Hey, kid, what do you
think you're doing here?
407
00:16:37,290 --> 00:16:39,280
Oh, oh, hey, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
408
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:42,280
I'm not here for me.
I'm here for my friend, okay?
409
00:16:42,290 --> 00:16:46,280
[ Doorbell rings ]
410
00:16:46,290 --> 00:16:48,280
Hi. Is Craig here, sir?
411
00:16:48,290 --> 00:16:50,280
Why can't you quit him?
412
00:16:50,290 --> 00:16:52,280
Thomas.
413
00:16:52,290 --> 00:16:55,280
Five minutes.
He's in the back.
414
00:16:55,290 --> 00:16:58,280
Hey, dude.
415
00:16:58,290 --> 00:17:00,280
What do you want?
416
00:17:00,290 --> 00:17:02,450
I thought when we broke up
everything would get better.
417
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:06,289
I was thinking maybe we
should say we're back together.
418
00:17:06,290 --> 00:17:08,280
Dude, I'm not gay,
and neither are you!
419
00:17:08,290 --> 00:17:10,280
What does that have
to do with anything?
420
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,609
You think you can just pull
that shit you pulled at school,
421
00:17:12,610 --> 00:17:14,050
saying I step on people
and use them,
422
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:15,289
and I'll just take you back?
423
00:17:15,290 --> 00:17:16,450
You said to make it seem real.
424
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,289
Not that real!
425
00:17:18,290 --> 00:17:20,130
Now everyone thinks
I'm a manipulative cheater.
426
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,289
I'll never get any chicks.
427
00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:24,280
I'm so sorry, Craig.
428
00:17:24,290 --> 00:17:26,280
You... you made me
believe in myself
429
00:17:26,290 --> 00:17:28,280
in a way I never have before.
430
00:17:28,290 --> 00:17:31,280
I didn't think I had any of that
in me, but you were right.
431
00:17:31,290 --> 00:17:33,280
I can do more than I think.
432
00:17:33,290 --> 00:17:35,280
You changed something in me,
and I just...
433
00:17:35,290 --> 00:17:37,280
I want to fix whatever's
hurting you now.
434
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,280
[ Sobbing ]
435
00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:41,370
I can't be something
because everyone wants me to be.
436
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,289
I have to be myself.
437
00:17:44,290 --> 00:17:46,280
You'll just have to go
be gay with someone else.
438
00:17:46,290 --> 00:17:49,290
All right, Craig.
All right.
439
00:17:52,290 --> 00:17:56,280
I can see how much
they're both hurting, but...
440
00:17:56,290 --> 00:17:59,280
can't you understand that in my
time we just didn't accept this?
441
00:17:59,290 --> 00:18:01,280
Maybe it's not so wrong.
442
00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:04,280
I... I just don't
want it to be my son.
443
00:18:04,290 --> 00:18:06,280
[ Wings beating ]
444
00:18:06,290 --> 00:18:08,280
Tee hee hee!
Tee hee hee!
445
00:18:08,290 --> 00:18:10,280
You just need
a little prick of magic.
446
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:12,280
[ Twinkle ]
447
00:18:12,290 --> 00:18:14,280
I'm gonna pee in
your mouth a little bit.
448
00:18:14,290 --> 00:18:17,280
[ Trickling ]
449
00:18:17,290 --> 00:18:20,280
Then again, he's my son,
no matter what.
450
00:18:20,290 --> 00:18:21,450
I can't just shut down on him.
451
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:23,289
Tee hee hee!
Tee hee hee hee!
452
00:18:23,290 --> 00:18:24,290
[ Wings beating ]
453
00:18:27,290 --> 00:18:32,280
Son, you need to listen to me.
454
00:18:32,290 --> 00:18:34,280
You can't fight being gay.
455
00:18:34,290 --> 00:18:37,280
I used to think that
being gay was a choice,
456
00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:40,280
but you don't get to decide.
457
00:18:40,290 --> 00:18:42,280
Japan picks who they pick,
and that's that.
458
00:18:42,290 --> 00:18:44,280
I don't understand this stuff.
459
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,280
Heck, I didn't even know
Don King got raped,
460
00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:50,280
but I do know that
if you try and resist it,
461
00:18:50,290 --> 00:18:53,280
you make yourself miserable
your whole life.
462
00:18:53,290 --> 00:18:56,280
Everyone was so proud of you.
463
00:18:56,290 --> 00:19:01,280
I was just being selfish.
I want to be proud of you, too.
464
00:19:01,290 --> 00:19:05,280
I like gay Craig.
I love you.
465
00:19:05,290 --> 00:19:08,280
Here's $100.
466
00:19:08,290 --> 00:19:12,290
[ Wistful music playing ]
467
00:19:28,290 --> 00:19:31,280
MAN: [ Japanese accent ]
♪ Maybe we should go away
468
00:19:31,290 --> 00:19:35,280
♪ Put cares aside for
just a day ♪
469
00:19:35,290 --> 00:19:39,280
♪ The world we face
is not so big ♪
470
00:19:39,290 --> 00:19:44,290
♪ Not if we are strong
like Tweek and Craig ♪
471
00:19:47,290 --> 00:19:50,280
[ Speaking Japanese ]
472
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:53,280
♪ Let's go back
to when it was new ♪
473
00:19:53,290 --> 00:19:56,280
♪ Weren't we
such happy people, too? ♪
474
00:19:56,290 --> 00:20:00,280
♪ Life was simple,
problems vague ♪
475
00:20:00,290 --> 00:20:05,290
♪ We had it all,
a lot like Tweek and Craig ♪
476
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:10,280
♪ And in the darkness
we all seek ♪
477
00:20:10,290 --> 00:20:13,290
♪ A perfect love
like Craig and Tweek ♪
478
00:20:20,290 --> 00:20:21,280
highest honor!
479
00:20:21,290 --> 00:20:25,280
Gambaro irashai!
480
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:29,280
♪ I hope you know,
when you are down ♪
481
00:20:29,290 --> 00:20:32,280
♪ That you turned
my life around ♪
482
00:20:32,290 --> 00:20:36,280
♪ Just like the like the quote
from Shakespeare said ♪
483
00:20:36,290 --> 00:20:38,280
♪ I'm your Tweek
484
00:20:38,290 --> 00:20:42,280
♪ And you're my Craig
485
00:20:42,290 --> 00:20:43,280
[ Moaning ]
486
00:20:43,290 --> 00:20:45,280
Okay, okay.
The date's almost over.
487
00:20:45,290 --> 00:20:47,280
Tee hee hee!
MAN: ♪ Tweek and Craig
488
00:20:47,290 --> 00:20:48,280
Aren't you liking your massage?
489
00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:50,370
It's fine. It just doesn't
really do anything for me.
490
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:51,290
[ Speaking Japanese ]
491
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:53,280
Well, I've got something you
might like a little better.
492
00:20:53,290 --> 00:20:54,280
Cupid... Cupid Me, no!
493
00:20:54,290 --> 00:20:55,280
No! I'm straight!
494
00:20:55,290 --> 00:20:56,280
Tee hee hee hee!
495
00:20:56,290 --> 00:20:58,280
Cupid Me, what are you doing?
Oh, my God!
496
00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:00,280
Oh, Cupid Me, that's enough!
497
00:21:00,290 --> 00:21:03,280
Okay, that's it, Cupid Me!
That's it!
498
00:21:03,290 --> 00:21:04,730
That's it, Cupid Me.
Okay, that's it.
499
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:05,760
That's it, Cupid Me.
500
00:21:07,290 --> 00:21:08,290
Aww.
501
00:21:12,290 --> 00:21:14,280
You might say,
"You may touch my penis.
502
00:21:14,290 --> 00:21:16,290
I'm comfortable with that."
503
00:21:18,290 --> 00:21:19,450
Or, of course, you could say,
504
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,289
"No, you may not touch my penis
at this time."
505
00:21:21,290 --> 00:21:23,280
No, you may not.
506
00:21:23,290 --> 00:21:24,280
Okay.
Now we're getting somewhere.
507
00:21:24,290 --> 00:21:26,690
Now, Craig, what would you say
if you wanted to take a gander
508
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:27,720
at Tweek's asshole?