1
00:00:15,230 --> 00:00:18,899
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:18,900 --> 00:00:20,530
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:20,540 --> 00:00:22,339
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:22,340 --> 00:00:25,879
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:27,509
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:27,510 --> 00:00:29,179
♪ People spouting,
"howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:29,180 --> 00:00:32,749
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:32,750 --> 00:00:35,319
♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
9
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:40,320
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:43,190 --> 00:00:46,090
[ Indistinct conversations ]
11
00:00:49,152 --> 00:00:50,651
Morning, Randy.
12
00:00:50,652 --> 00:00:51,492
Morning, Ger.
13
00:00:51,493 --> 00:00:53,412
Just another day
in paradise, huh?
14
00:00:53,422 --> 00:00:55,257
Yeah, look at all these
new restaurants
15
00:00:55,258 --> 00:00:56,982
the Whole Foods has brought in.
16
00:00:56,992 --> 00:00:59,661
Let's try out that one there.
17
00:00:59,662 --> 00:01:01,491
Hi.
Two of us, please.
18
00:01:01,492 --> 00:01:04,092
Yeah, sorry, guys.
We got about a 30-minute wait.
19
00:01:04,102 --> 00:01:05,201
Oh, uh, excuse me.
20
00:01:05,202 --> 00:01:06,671
[ Whispers indistinctly ]
21
00:01:06,672 --> 00:01:10,571
Yes, sir. Give me a second.
I'll have a table right away.
22
00:01:10,572 --> 00:01:12,601
Whoa.
What'd you say to him?
23
00:01:12,602 --> 00:01:14,871
I just told him who I am.
24
00:01:14,872 --> 00:01:16,071
Who are you?
25
00:01:16,072 --> 00:01:17,132
I'm a Yelp reviewer.
26
00:01:17,142 --> 00:01:18,872
I usually keep it
on the down-low
27
00:01:18,882 --> 00:01:20,511
so they don't kiss my ass
too much.
28
00:01:20,512 --> 00:01:22,172
Right over here, sir.
29
00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:24,921
All right, guys,
welcome to Vernacular.
30
00:01:24,922 --> 00:01:25,852
Thanks.
31
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:28,351
Uh, did they mention to you
that I am a Yelper?
32
00:01:28,352 --> 00:01:30,482
Yes, we've been alerted, sir.
33
00:01:30,492 --> 00:01:31,132
Great.
34
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:33,922
Could you have them turn
the lights up a little, please?
35
00:01:33,932 --> 00:01:37,431
Oh, look at it, Gerald...
All the new families moving in.
36
00:01:37,432 --> 00:01:41,972
Our little town is all grown up.
37
00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:45,141
Where's that other taco plate?
We need it now!
38
00:01:45,142 --> 00:01:47,311
I'm a little overwhelmed.
39
00:01:47,312 --> 00:01:48,142
I know, but we put everything
40
00:01:48,143 --> 00:01:50,411
into moving here
and starting this business,
41
00:01:50,412 --> 00:01:51,781
and we have to be impressive.
42
00:01:51,782 --> 00:01:54,281
David, you must help your mama
however you can.
43
00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:56,581
We're not going back
to that miserable place.
44
00:01:56,582 --> 00:01:58,642
I don't want to go back, either.
45
00:01:58,652 --> 00:01:59,422
Okay, done.
Great!
46
00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:02,291
We really have to impress
this customer.
47
00:02:02,292 --> 00:02:03,791
He's a local food critic.
48
00:02:03,792 --> 00:02:05,261
Another one?
49
00:02:05,262 --> 00:02:07,431
[ Mid-tempo Mexican music
playing ]
50
00:02:07,432 --> 00:02:09,291
Mmm. Hmm. Mm-hmm.
51
00:02:09,292 --> 00:02:10,352
Okay, here you go, amigo...
52
00:02:10,362 --> 00:02:12,592
Another taco plate
and the taquitos.
53
00:02:12,602 --> 00:02:13,102
Oh, thank you.
54
00:02:13,103 --> 00:02:15,537
And did I mention I am
a food critic for Yelp?
55
00:02:15,538 --> 00:02:17,292
Yes, you mentioned that
several times.
56
00:02:17,302 --> 00:02:19,332
Okay, I just didn't want you
caught off guard.
57
00:02:19,342 --> 00:02:21,871
I was thinking of giving
this place five stars.
58
00:02:21,872 --> 00:02:22,272
Really?
59
00:02:22,273 --> 00:02:26,342
Yeah, but I'm kind of teetering
on five stars or one star.
60
00:02:26,352 --> 00:02:28,281
Oh, no, no.
No one star, please.
61
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:28,852
What can we do to...
62
00:02:28,853 --> 00:02:30,851
I mean, I could probably
be persuaded
63
00:02:30,852 --> 00:02:32,121
with some free desserts.
64
00:02:32,122 --> 00:02:32,752
Let me get that for you.
65
00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:34,412
Great. And could you turn down
the music a bit?
66
00:02:34,422 --> 00:02:36,091
This pagan shit hurts my ears.
67
00:02:36,092 --> 00:02:37,491
Of course.
68
00:02:37,492 --> 00:02:39,221
[ Music softens ]
69
00:02:39,222 --> 00:02:41,222
Oh, hey. Hey, busboy.
[ Snapping fingers ]
70
00:02:41,232 --> 00:02:42,501
Busboy! Busboy!
Por favor!
71
00:02:42,502 --> 00:02:45,422
[ Whistles ]
Busboy!
My name is David.
72
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:46,232
Excuse me?
73
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:47,962
I said my name is David.
74
00:02:47,972 --> 00:02:50,971
Uh, it's actually pronounced
"Day-vid," okay?
75
00:02:50,972 --> 00:02:52,441
Well, I'm "Da-veed."
76
00:02:52,442 --> 00:02:54,371
It's David, dude.
Look it up.
77
00:02:54,372 --> 00:02:55,302
What's going on?
78
00:02:55,312 --> 00:02:57,411
Do not argue, son.
We need him.
79
00:02:57,412 --> 00:02:58,811
There you are...
A few free desserts.
80
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:01,351
[ Bell dings ]
Oh, excuse me.
More customers.
81
00:03:01,352 --> 00:03:03,381
Hi.
Two of us for lunch, please.
82
00:03:03,382 --> 00:03:04,272
Yes.
Right away.
83
00:03:04,282 --> 00:03:06,081
Oh, and, uh,
I just wanted to mention
84
00:03:06,082 --> 00:03:08,151
that my wife and I
are Yelp reviewers,
85
00:03:08,152 --> 00:03:09,952
so, uh, your best table, please.
86
00:03:09,962 --> 00:03:11,291
Oh, geez.
You guys, too, huh?
87
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:14,461
Okay, um, I'll get you set up
right over here, okay?
88
00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:16,061
Mm-hmm.
89
00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:18,961
Hmm.
This place seems nice.
90
00:03:18,962 --> 00:03:20,562
I guess we'll see.
91
00:03:20,572 --> 00:03:23,401
I guess we'll see, won't we?
92
00:03:23,402 --> 00:03:24,092
Oh, God.
93
00:03:24,102 --> 00:03:26,262
Now everyone thinks
they're a food critic.
94
00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:29,172
[ School bell rings ]
95
00:03:30,572 --> 00:03:32,872
Did you get them?
Did you get them?
Did you get them? Huh?
96
00:03:32,882 --> 00:03:34,011
Here you go.
97
00:03:34,012 --> 00:03:34,342
Whoa.
98
00:03:34,352 --> 00:03:36,551
Crispy risotto bites
from Olive Garden.
99
00:03:36,552 --> 00:03:37,522
How do you do it, Eric?
100
00:03:37,523 --> 00:03:39,321
I'm a restaurant critic,
Butters.
101
00:03:39,322 --> 00:03:40,691
I get whatever I want.
102
00:03:40,692 --> 00:03:41,662
Geez.
103
00:03:41,652 --> 00:03:43,012
So, the cafeteria's
back that way,
104
00:03:43,022 --> 00:03:45,121
and most of the classrooms
are this way down the...
105
00:03:45,122 --> 00:03:47,122
Ew! What's the busboy
doing here?
106
00:03:47,132 --> 00:03:48,661
David is new to our school.
107
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:49,402
Oh, cool.
108
00:03:49,392 --> 00:03:51,022
Are you gonna clean
the tables here, too?
109
00:03:51,032 --> 00:03:53,901
How do you get to school?
Do you ride your tiny bicicleta?
110
00:03:53,902 --> 00:03:55,431
Huh?
Shut up.
111
00:03:55,432 --> 00:03:56,062
Look, amigo, I'm sorry
112
00:03:56,072 --> 00:03:57,171
I only gave your parents'
restaurant two stars,
113
00:03:57,172 --> 00:03:58,371
but it could've been worse.
114
00:03:58,372 --> 00:03:59,871
Why'd you only give them
two stars?
115
00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:01,971
I'm sorry, but the food
totally messed my stomach up.
116
00:04:01,972 --> 00:04:04,032
The morning after I ate it,
I went to the bathroom,
117
00:04:04,042 --> 00:04:06,202
and my poop was all solid...
Like, no water at all.
118
00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:07,442
It's not supposed
to have water, you...
119
00:04:07,452 --> 00:04:09,051
It was like this one,
solid piece
120
00:04:09,052 --> 00:04:10,451
that I had to push
out my asshole.
121
00:04:10,452 --> 00:04:12,321
It was like being raped
from the inside.
122
00:04:12,322 --> 00:04:13,292
Your parents' restaurant
123
00:04:13,293 --> 00:04:14,821
just wasn't up to my standards,
"Day-vid."
124
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,591
"Da-veed."
"Day-vid."
125
00:04:16,592 --> 00:04:17,392
"Da-veed."
126
00:04:17,393 --> 00:04:18,821
"Day-vid."
"Da-veed."
127
00:04:18,822 --> 00:04:20,052
"Day-vid." "Day-vid."
"Day-vid." "Day-vid."
128
00:04:20,062 --> 00:04:24,162
I can update this to a one-star
review in two seconds, dude.
129
00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:29,792
Oh, God, I love being
a restaurant critic.
130
00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:32,201
[ Keyboard clacking ]
131
00:04:32,202 --> 00:04:34,162
[ Serene music playing ]
GERALD:
And yet, there was more.
132
00:04:34,172 --> 00:04:37,602
For in this crisp time
when autumn begins to fade,
133
00:04:37,612 --> 00:04:39,781
the chef brines chicken
in habañero
134
00:04:39,782 --> 00:04:43,281
and even adds habañero powder
to the crust.
135
00:04:43,282 --> 00:04:45,442
But the heat is restrained.
136
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:48,321
You experience the fruity,
delicious flavor of this
137
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:50,361
without any spicy pain.
138
00:04:50,362 --> 00:04:52,421
I don't need anymore pain.
139
00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:54,352
Hell, does anyone?
140
00:04:54,362 --> 00:04:56,731
Gerald, we're going to the park.
141
00:04:56,732 --> 00:04:58,531
You want to come along?
142
00:04:58,532 --> 00:04:59,332
Sorry, honey.
143
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:01,392
This review for Applebee's
has turned into a 50-pager.
144
00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:04,341
Then I have a polish
on Ruby Tuesday's.
145
00:05:04,342 --> 00:05:06,371
Why don't you take a break
from Yelping, Gerald?
146
00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:08,032
You seem a little overwhelmed.
147
00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:09,441
I am overwhelmed.
148
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:12,402
Sometimes, I don't know
what I've gotten myself into.
149
00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:15,451
But now everyone relies
on my Yelp reviews,
150
00:05:15,452 --> 00:05:17,751
and I-I don't want
to let anyone down.
151
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,791
Well, there's chicken in
the fridge if you get hungry.
152
00:05:19,792 --> 00:05:23,891
Thanks, but I-I got Yelp a new
place in Shi Tpa Town tonight.
153
00:05:23,892 --> 00:05:25,991
God, I'm so damn tired.
154
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,852
Okay, have fun.
155
00:05:27,862 --> 00:05:30,462
Ha.
"Fun," she says.
156
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,402
In finality, I would say
157
00:05:32,403 --> 00:05:34,571
my experience at Applebee's
was sublime
158
00:05:34,572 --> 00:05:37,871
and my treatment near that of
a gladiator most decorated.
159
00:05:37,872 --> 00:05:39,471
But the street parking
wasn't that great.
160
00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:41,872
Two-and-a-half stars.
161
00:05:43,372 --> 00:05:45,602
Yes.
162
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:46,412
Come on, Liza.
163
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:49,412
I'll introduce you to the girls.
164
00:05:51,582 --> 00:05:53,012
Well, aren't you
eating lunch, Eric?
165
00:05:53,022 --> 00:05:54,721
[ Scoffs ] I am a food critic,
Butters, okay?
166
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:56,921
I can't just eat cafeteria food.
167
00:05:56,922 --> 00:05:58,452
Okay, here you are, sir!
168
00:05:58,462 --> 00:05:59,661
There's orange peel chicken,
169
00:05:59,662 --> 00:06:01,931
some city beef,
and a city egg roll!
170
00:06:01,932 --> 00:06:03,301
Are you joking?
171
00:06:03,302 --> 00:06:04,501
Well, you are a little late.
172
00:06:04,502 --> 00:06:06,731
Like, I don't know,
maybe only-one-star late.
173
00:06:06,732 --> 00:06:08,462
Oh, no.
No one star, please.
174
00:06:08,472 --> 00:06:10,201
You Yelpers are killing me.
175
00:06:10,202 --> 00:06:12,332
Okay, you no pay.
You no pay. Please.
176
00:06:12,342 --> 00:06:14,271
Sounds good.
Now get the fuck out of here.
177
00:06:14,272 --> 00:06:14,672
Yes, yes!
178
00:06:14,673 --> 00:06:16,502
I'll get the fuck out!
Thank you!
179
00:06:16,512 --> 00:06:18,711
Wow. Well, you're pretty
important, Eric.
180
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,051
He's not important at all.
181
00:06:21,052 --> 00:06:21,452
Yeah, no.
182
00:06:21,453 --> 00:06:23,651
No, no, you're right, Kyle.
I'm not important.
183
00:06:23,652 --> 00:06:25,787
Oh, hey, David,
I was just wondering.
184
00:06:25,788 --> 00:06:27,442
Um, how do you get to school?
185
00:06:27,452 --> 00:06:31,452
Do you ride
your tiny bicicleta? Eh?
186
00:06:31,462 --> 00:06:32,621
- Stop it.
- What?
187
00:06:32,622 --> 00:06:33,522
I just want to hear him say,
188
00:06:33,532 --> 00:06:37,461
"Si, me ride me tiny bicicleta
to school."
189
00:06:37,462 --> 00:06:40,692
Si, me ride me tiny
bicicleta to school.
190
00:06:40,702 --> 00:06:42,001
[ Laughing ]
That's awesome.
191
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:43,171
I'm gonna go out to recess.
192
00:06:43,172 --> 00:06:44,741
Will you bus this for me,
David? Thanks.
193
00:06:44,742 --> 00:06:48,141
Ah, don't.
Dude... Dude, don't.
194
00:06:48,142 --> 00:06:49,771
[ Keyboard clacking ]
195
00:06:49,772 --> 00:06:52,402
[ Sighs ]
196
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,451
Sir, it's midnight.
197
00:06:53,452 --> 00:06:54,581
Go home.
Get some sleep.
198
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:58,087
There's no time to sleep when
the city's counting on me.
199
00:06:58,088 --> 00:06:59,412
More Yelp reviews, sir?
200
00:06:59,422 --> 00:07:01,321
I had a bad experience
at Red Lobster,
201
00:07:01,322 --> 00:07:04,121
and if the people don't
know about it, they could, too.
202
00:07:04,122 --> 00:07:06,282
Folks deserve to know
where to eat, Mitch.
203
00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:08,491
But does anyone
even thank you for it?
204
00:07:08,492 --> 00:07:09,622
I don't need them to.
205
00:07:09,632 --> 00:07:12,431
I know they need me,
and that's enough.
206
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,301
God bless you, sir.
207
00:07:14,302 --> 00:07:16,502
I know.
208
00:07:21,342 --> 00:07:23,441
Welcome to Whistlin' Willy's.
209
00:07:23,442 --> 00:07:25,502
Y'all enjoying your pizza?
210
00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:26,482
Look here, my good man.
211
00:07:26,483 --> 00:07:27,751
We've been waiting
over 15 minutes
212
00:07:27,752 --> 00:07:30,081
for you to sing
"Happy Birthday" to our son.
213
00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:31,342
Unfortunately for you,
214
00:07:31,352 --> 00:07:34,421
we are both restaurant critics,
and so is our son.
215
00:07:34,422 --> 00:07:35,491
One star.
216
00:07:35,492 --> 00:07:38,591
Excuse me! Emergency!
Over here! Emergency!
217
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,291
I would like a table
inside the area
218
00:07:40,292 --> 00:07:42,122
with all the little
plastic balls, please.
219
00:07:42,132 --> 00:07:44,461
And make it snappy.
I am a food critic for Yelp.
220
00:07:44,462 --> 00:07:47,092
That does it!
I've had enough!
221
00:07:47,102 --> 00:07:50,571
All you Yelp reviewers
get the hell out of here!
222
00:07:50,572 --> 00:07:53,441
I don't care what happens
to my business!
223
00:07:53,442 --> 00:07:55,811
I ain't kissing your asses
no more!
224
00:07:55,812 --> 00:07:58,281
[ Chair scraping ]
Go on.
225
00:07:58,282 --> 00:08:01,511
Every Yelper,
get the fuck out of here!
226
00:08:01,512 --> 00:08:02,142
Careful now, Bill.
227
00:08:02,152 --> 00:08:03,781
You don't want
a one-star review.
228
00:08:03,782 --> 00:08:06,481
You're not a food critic,
Dennis!
229
00:08:06,482 --> 00:08:07,742
You're a fuckin' mechanic!
230
00:08:07,752 --> 00:08:09,512
Now get the fuck out!
Go on!
231
00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:14,552
All you Yelping sons of bitches
get the fuck out of here!
232
00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:16,761
You're gonna regret this,
Whistlin' Willy.
233
00:08:16,762 --> 00:08:18,692
You can't treat Yelpers
this way.
234
00:08:18,702 --> 00:08:20,831
You get the...
Get the fuck out!
235
00:08:20,832 --> 00:08:22,762
[ Thud ]
Ow!
236
00:08:22,772 --> 00:08:24,571
[ Door slams ]
237
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:25,841
Well, good for you.
238
00:08:25,842 --> 00:08:27,771
You, too, you son of a bitch.
239
00:08:27,772 --> 00:08:29,332
Whoa! Hey!
240
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:36,851
It's over! It's over!
[ Yelling indistinctly ]
241
00:08:36,852 --> 00:08:39,451
You see paper?!
It's over!
242
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:43,312
Whistlin' Willy!
He stand up to the Yelpers!
243
00:08:43,322 --> 00:08:45,521
We don't have to kiss
their asses anymore!
244
00:08:45,522 --> 00:08:47,422
Look!
Everybody doing the same!
245
00:08:47,432 --> 00:08:47,862
[ Laughs ]
246
00:08:47,863 --> 00:08:49,531
[ Singsong voice ]
It's over! It's over!
247
00:08:49,532 --> 00:08:51,371
[ Normal voice ]
Hey, Skeeter, you hear the news?
248
00:08:51,372 --> 00:08:53,722
It's a miracle.
249
00:08:53,732 --> 00:08:56,631
It's a miracle!
250
00:08:56,632 --> 00:08:59,532
[ Humming ]
What the fuck?
251
00:08:59,542 --> 00:09:01,677
Uh, dude, somebody spilled shit
on the floor.
252
00:09:01,678 --> 00:09:04,332
Hey, David,
somebody spilled something here.
253
00:09:04,342 --> 00:09:06,241
Could you clean this up,
por favor?
254
00:09:06,242 --> 00:09:06,872
David?
[ Whistles ]
255
00:09:06,882 --> 00:09:09,722
Over here.
There's some shit on the floor.
256
00:09:10,412 --> 00:09:12,312
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
What's going on, man?
257
00:09:12,322 --> 00:09:12,892
You haven't heard?
258
00:09:12,893 --> 00:09:15,512
Nobody gives a fuck what
Yelp reviewers think anymore.
259
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:16,262
What are you talking about?
260
00:09:16,263 --> 00:09:18,752
I'm the most influential critic
in this town.
261
00:09:18,762 --> 00:09:19,861
Okay, David, forget the spill.
262
00:09:19,862 --> 00:09:21,997
Just give me one little,
"My name is David.
263
00:09:21,998 --> 00:09:23,792
Me ride me bicicleta
to school."
264
00:09:23,802 --> 00:09:27,101
My name is "Da-veed."
265
00:09:27,102 --> 00:09:28,172
Ha!
266
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,201
Okay, I'm...
I'm updating my review.
267
00:09:31,202 --> 00:09:33,402
I'm about to do it.
268
00:09:33,572 --> 00:09:37,141
You better say,
"I ride me bicicleta to school!"
269
00:09:37,142 --> 00:09:40,002
One star.
270
00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:42,872
No... no stars?
271
00:09:42,882 --> 00:09:44,672
No stars?
272
00:09:44,682 --> 00:09:47,682
You can't just treat me
like I'm nothing.
273
00:09:47,692 --> 00:09:50,421
I still know
I'm worth something.
274
00:09:50,422 --> 00:09:52,622
Come on, guys.
275
00:09:54,692 --> 00:09:55,952
Oh, yeah.
Y-you guys stay at school.
276
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:59,302
That's cool.
Y-you guys stay here.
277
00:10:01,932 --> 00:10:04,432
[ Sad piano music playing ]
278
00:10:35,232 --> 00:10:36,792
[ Sighs ]
279
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:37,662
Oh, hey, Eric.
280
00:10:37,672 --> 00:10:38,741
It's all over, Butters.
281
00:10:38,742 --> 00:10:41,541
Everything I've worked
so hard to achieve.
282
00:10:41,542 --> 00:10:43,041
All these hack wannabe
food critics
283
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:44,902
have made my profession a joke.
284
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:45,882
Aw, I'm sorry, bud.
285
00:10:45,883 --> 00:10:47,551
All these people
trying to be like me,
286
00:10:47,552 --> 00:10:50,351
and they don't even write about
poop consistency the next day.
287
00:10:50,352 --> 00:10:53,351
Well, Eric, you should be proud
that people want to be like you.
288
00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:55,412
I mean, you really
started something.
289
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:56,122
I guess.
290
00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:57,012
Well if these people
look up to you,
291
00:10:57,022 --> 00:10:59,352
maybe... maybe you can sort of
set the record straight
292
00:10:59,362 --> 00:11:01,997
and show them the way
it's supposed to be done.
293
00:11:01,998 --> 00:11:03,252
You're right, Butters.
294
00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:05,861
Maybe I can actually use
all these people somehow
295
00:11:05,862 --> 00:11:08,792
to make real food critics
respected again.
296
00:11:13,742 --> 00:11:15,611
Harrison Yates,
what's gotten into you?
297
00:11:15,612 --> 00:11:17,681
That's it, Maggie.
I'm hanging it up.
298
00:11:17,682 --> 00:11:20,811
If people are gonna be trying
all the new restaurants in town,
299
00:11:20,812 --> 00:11:24,142
they'll have to do it
without my reviews.
300
00:11:24,152 --> 00:11:25,351
What are you talking about?
301
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:28,051
You said that protecting people
from bad dining experiences
302
00:11:28,052 --> 00:11:29,212
was what kept you going.
303
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:32,127
The restaurants put up signs
saying I can't come in.
304
00:11:32,128 --> 00:11:34,382
I don't know why
they singled me out,
305
00:11:34,392 --> 00:11:39,022
but it's like people
don't need me.
306
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,971
Well, I'll be damned.
307
00:11:40,972 --> 00:11:41,642
What is it?
308
00:11:41,643 --> 00:11:43,762
Somebody's put a note
in the mailbox
309
00:11:43,772 --> 00:11:48,071
asking me to come
and talk to them.
310
00:11:48,072 --> 00:11:50,372
They do need me.
311
00:11:50,382 --> 00:11:51,611
I need to get going.
312
00:11:51,612 --> 00:11:53,047
You want me to come along?
313
00:11:53,048 --> 00:11:54,672
No. They're just
asking for me.
314
00:11:54,682 --> 00:11:59,452
I guess maybe I do have
a town to protect.
315
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:05,121
Oh, are you having
a party, sweetheart?
316
00:12:05,122 --> 00:12:06,082
Not a party, mom.
317
00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:07,831
I've invited all
the poser food critics
318
00:12:07,832 --> 00:12:08,891
over for a meeting.
319
00:12:08,892 --> 00:12:09,722
Oh, how fun.
320
00:12:09,732 --> 00:12:11,031
It's not fun.
It's serious.
321
00:12:11,032 --> 00:12:12,501
These people think
they can do what I do,
322
00:12:12,502 --> 00:12:14,331
but they need to be made
to understand the reality.
323
00:12:14,332 --> 00:12:16,162
When the Yelpers get here,
I need you to get lost, okay?
324
00:12:16,172 --> 00:12:17,072
[ Knocks at door ]
325
00:12:17,073 --> 00:12:18,241
Okay, that's them,
that's them. Go!
326
00:12:18,242 --> 00:12:20,312
Get lost, mom!
327
00:12:21,472 --> 00:12:22,671
ALL: Hello! Hi!
328
00:12:22,672 --> 00:12:24,032
My name is [All saying name].
329
00:12:24,042 --> 00:12:25,302
I'm here for the meeting.
330
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:26,951
Is this the right place?
331
00:12:26,952 --> 00:12:28,922
[Bleeeeeeeep]
332
00:12:30,582 --> 00:12:31,212
Mom!
333
00:12:31,222 --> 00:12:32,621
I'm going, honey.
334
00:12:32,622 --> 00:12:34,851
Mom, there's like
a billion people here!
335
00:12:34,852 --> 00:12:35,382
Oh, yes, sweetie.
336
00:12:35,392 --> 00:12:37,461
I think quite a few people
are Yelp reviewers.
337
00:12:37,462 --> 00:12:39,361
Oh, this many people
have nothing better to do
338
00:12:39,362 --> 00:12:40,062
than write reviews on Yelp?
339
00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:42,531
I guess so, honey.
Do you need more lemonade?
340
00:12:42,532 --> 00:12:44,501
Mom, there's a fucking
billion people here.
341
00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:47,201
[ All murmuring ]
342
00:12:47,202 --> 00:12:50,101
Uh, thank you all for coming.
343
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:51,762
My name is Eric,
and as you know,
344
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:53,307
us Yelpers are being
scrutinized.
345
00:12:53,308 --> 00:12:56,502
[ In distance ] Can't you
speak a little louder?!
346
00:12:56,512 --> 00:12:59,741
Yes, us Yelp critics
are being scrutinized!
347
00:12:59,742 --> 00:13:01,072
That's right!
Yeah!
348
00:13:01,082 --> 00:13:04,621
Now, you see the problem is that
when there's too many reviewers,
349
00:13:04,622 --> 00:13:07,551
people no longer know
who is the real food critic.
350
00:13:07,552 --> 00:13:10,712
It's great that you all
want to be critics,
351
00:13:10,722 --> 00:13:15,052
but we all know who the real
food analyst of the town is.
352
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:16,131
That's right!
353
00:13:16,132 --> 00:13:16,702
Yeah!
354
00:13:16,692 --> 00:13:17,292
[ Chuckles ]
355
00:13:17,302 --> 00:13:18,431
Ha. Oh, thanks.
356
00:13:18,432 --> 00:13:22,501
Okay, so, as long as there
is one clear leader,
357
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:25,271
then the rest of you
can just follow.
358
00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:28,171
And with this many people
all following one captain,
359
00:13:28,172 --> 00:13:30,632
we can fight to get
our power back!
360
00:13:30,642 --> 00:13:32,502
Poweeeer back!
361
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:35,481
So now rise up,
and fight for your leader!
362
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:36,551
Fight together,
363
00:13:36,552 --> 00:13:39,251
and show the restaurants that
our food critic does matter!
364
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:40,521
[ Cheers and applause ]
365
00:13:40,522 --> 00:13:41,352
Yeah, let's go!
366
00:13:41,353 --> 00:13:43,182
All right, follow me!
367
00:13:43,192 --> 00:13:46,762
This way, everyone!
368
00:13:50,232 --> 00:13:52,431
[ Indistinct shouting ]
369
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:55,472
[ People screaming ]
370
00:14:00,472 --> 00:14:03,511
Another local business
is closing its doors tonight
371
00:14:03,512 --> 00:14:05,747
after being taken down
by Yelp reviewers.
372
00:14:05,748 --> 00:14:08,042
Whistlin' Willy's,
a child favorite in town,
373
00:14:08,052 --> 00:14:10,981
was destroyed and its owner
stripped and beheaded.
374
00:14:10,982 --> 00:14:13,212
The following video is graphic.
375
00:14:13,222 --> 00:14:15,991
No, please!
No, no, no, no, no!
376
00:14:15,992 --> 00:14:17,221
[ Crowd ululating ]
377
00:14:17,222 --> 00:14:20,682
Aww!
378
00:14:21,122 --> 00:14:24,392
[ George Thorogood's
"Bad to the Bone" plays ]
379
00:14:30,172 --> 00:14:32,441
♪ Said leave this one alone ♪
380
00:14:32,442 --> 00:14:34,971
♪ She could tell right away ♪
381
00:14:34,972 --> 00:14:37,472
♪ That I was bad to the bone ♪
382
00:14:37,482 --> 00:14:39,881
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bad ♪
383
00:14:39,882 --> 00:14:41,881
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bad ♪
384
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:46,422
We all loved Whistlin' Willy's.
385
00:14:47,322 --> 00:14:48,562
It didn't do well with Yelpers.
386
00:14:48,552 --> 00:14:50,251
You assholes destroyed
the best place in town
387
00:14:50,252 --> 00:14:51,682
because they wouldn't
kiss your asses!
388
00:14:51,692 --> 00:14:53,731
Oh, come on, admit it.
The food sucked.
389
00:14:53,732 --> 00:14:55,261
Nobody went for
the fucking food!
390
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:56,397
Look, I'm sorry guys,
391
00:14:56,398 --> 00:14:58,761
but Whistlin' Willy failed
to recognize the influence
392
00:14:58,762 --> 00:15:00,722
someone like me
has on their business.
393
00:15:00,732 --> 00:15:04,032
Now I just have one question
for you, David.
394
00:15:05,442 --> 00:15:07,611
Do you ride
395
00:15:07,612 --> 00:15:13,141
your teeny, tiny bicicleta
to school?
396
00:15:13,142 --> 00:15:17,812
Sí. Me ride mi teeny
bicicleta to school.
397
00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:21,391
You're done.
398
00:15:21,392 --> 00:15:22,521
Yeah, I'm done!
399
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,991
I'm now the leader
of thousands of people!
400
00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:26,627
They all hang on my every word,
401
00:15:26,628 --> 00:15:29,122
and I'm gonna use my power
to finally get
402
00:15:29,132 --> 00:15:31,331
what this town really needs.
403
00:15:31,332 --> 00:15:33,502
♪♪
404
00:15:33,702 --> 00:15:37,741
GERALD: I found the waitstaff
at Red Lobster to be rude
405
00:15:37,742 --> 00:15:40,111
and barely even acknowledging
who I was
406
00:15:40,112 --> 00:15:42,071
or what I meant to this city.
407
00:15:42,072 --> 00:15:44,532
Gerald, I'm taking Ike
to clown school.
408
00:15:44,542 --> 00:15:45,542
You care to join us?
409
00:15:45,543 --> 00:15:46,602
I can't, honey.
410
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:49,342
I'm now the leader
of thousands of people.
411
00:15:49,352 --> 00:15:51,351
They all hang on my every word.
412
00:15:51,352 --> 00:15:53,521
And I'm going to use my power
413
00:15:53,522 --> 00:15:56,491
to finally get what this town
really needs.
414
00:15:56,492 --> 00:15:59,132
♪♪
415
00:15:59,862 --> 00:16:02,502
♪♪
416
00:16:04,762 --> 00:16:06,461
[ Gunfire ]
417
00:16:06,462 --> 00:16:08,292
[ Glass shatters ]
418
00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:09,831
[ Explosion ]
419
00:16:09,832 --> 00:16:11,062
For the fifth day in a row,
420
00:16:11,072 --> 00:16:14,571
historic Shi Tpa Town is
under siege by Yelp reviewers.
421
00:16:14,572 --> 00:16:17,872
The restaurants are still
refusing to be intimidated,
422
00:16:17,882 --> 00:16:19,211
and the Yelp reviewers are...
423
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:20,681
[ Gunfire ]
424
00:16:20,682 --> 00:16:23,517
and the Yelp reviewers
are preparing for all-out war.
425
00:16:23,518 --> 00:16:27,182
The angry Yelp reviewers
are demanding special treatment
426
00:16:27,192 --> 00:16:28,351
at all city restaurants.
427
00:16:28,352 --> 00:16:29,912
They claim that
as local food critics,
428
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:33,482
they deserve respect and that
all who oppose them will suffer.
429
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,352
The online restaurant critics
are getting ready
430
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:37,131
to bring businesses
to their knees,
431
00:16:37,132 --> 00:16:39,601
and some are already
closing their doors.
432
00:16:39,602 --> 00:16:42,401
One local restaurant worker
actually called out
433
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:43,402
the Yelp critics' leader!
434
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,201
I guess you win, huh, big shot?
435
00:16:45,202 --> 00:16:48,162
If you really are
any kind of important anybody,
436
00:16:48,172 --> 00:16:50,202
then get your bullshit
food-critic ass
437
00:16:50,212 --> 00:16:52,381
to the south of town
and face me,
438
00:16:52,382 --> 00:16:53,681
because you aren't
a food critic,
439
00:16:53,682 --> 00:16:54,352
and you aren't important!
440
00:16:54,353 --> 00:16:59,051
And unless you're chicken,
I'll see you south of town.
441
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,491
Where you going, sir?
442
00:17:00,492 --> 00:17:00,992
You heard him.
443
00:17:00,993 --> 00:17:03,191
Little Mexican kid
called me out.
444
00:17:03,192 --> 00:17:06,491
He wants to fight me,
that's fine.
445
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:07,522
You need backup, sir?
446
00:17:07,532 --> 00:17:09,497
No. He's just
calling me out.
447
00:17:09,498 --> 00:17:10,692
God bless you, sir...
448
00:17:10,702 --> 00:17:13,132
I know!
449
00:17:15,432 --> 00:17:17,832
David! Dude, wait!
450
00:17:17,842 --> 00:17:19,841
Dude, you don't wanna do this.
451
00:17:19,842 --> 00:17:21,711
You don't know what
Cartman's capable of.
452
00:17:21,712 --> 00:17:24,381
Where I come from, we settle
things with our fists.
453
00:17:24,382 --> 00:17:26,411
But this isn't Mexico.
454
00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:28,511
I'm not from Mexico, dude!
455
00:17:28,512 --> 00:17:29,472
I'm from Idaho!
456
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:32,321
I'm gonna show this prick
how we do things in Boise.
457
00:17:32,322 --> 00:17:34,652
CARTMAN:
Oh, hello, David!
458
00:17:35,592 --> 00:17:38,161
All right, you've got your army.
459
00:17:38,162 --> 00:17:39,527
You've got your followers.
460
00:17:39,528 --> 00:17:40,882
If you're such a great leader,
461
00:17:40,892 --> 00:17:43,522
then just tell the city
what you want, fat ass!
462
00:17:43,532 --> 00:17:44,901
Don't call me fat, son.
463
00:17:44,902 --> 00:17:46,601
I'm doing this because
they've...
464
00:17:46,602 --> 00:17:50,271
What I want is to be able
to lead these fine people
465
00:17:50,272 --> 00:17:51,671
with the respect
and the dignity...
466
00:17:51,672 --> 00:17:53,841
I didn't ask to be the leader.
I was appointed!
467
00:17:53,842 --> 00:17:56,541
You see, I'm extremely important
to this town,
468
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:57,432
and I'm not going to be...
469
00:17:57,442 --> 00:17:59,302
My journey as this
town's food...
470
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,682
[ All talking at once ]
471
00:18:03,052 --> 00:18:05,451
You've made these people
feel unwanted,
472
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,291
and now they look to me
for answers.
473
00:18:07,292 --> 00:18:10,051
Now here I stand,
vulnerable, afraid,
474
00:18:10,052 --> 00:18:12,282
and yet willing to do
what the people of this...
475
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,091
And so we said to hell with it!
476
00:18:14,092 --> 00:18:18,392
And we took the challenge to
go from the town's food critics
477
00:18:18,402 --> 00:18:20,431
to the town's spiritual leaders.
478
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:21,222
What do we want?
479
00:18:21,232 --> 00:18:23,431
People would say,
"Oh, you're just a food blogger.
480
00:18:23,432 --> 00:18:25,762
You're just a tiny voice
in the crowd."
481
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:29,571
Well, now my voice is heard,
and I will...
482
00:18:29,572 --> 00:18:31,302
[ Talking continues ]
483
00:18:31,312 --> 00:18:32,381
wanted special privileges,
484
00:18:32,382 --> 00:18:34,411
but these people think
I should have them.
485
00:18:34,412 --> 00:18:35,202
Right, guys?
486
00:18:35,212 --> 00:18:36,772
Maybe I don't deserve
special treatment,
487
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:40,142
but how else can I be
the elite food critic they want?
488
00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:44,412
[ Talking continues ]
489
00:18:44,422 --> 00:18:46,982
Every person here thinks
this is about them.
490
00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:48,922
I think I know what to do.
491
00:18:48,932 --> 00:18:50,961
Yeah. Me, too.
492
00:18:50,962 --> 00:18:55,092
And for all your service
to this community,
493
00:18:55,102 --> 00:18:58,501
we want to once and for all
declare you
494
00:18:58,502 --> 00:19:00,632
our most elite food critic.
495
00:19:00,642 --> 00:19:05,841
To distinguish you, we present
to you the golden badge.
496
00:19:05,842 --> 00:19:09,172
Wearing this badge means
you will always get
497
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:12,481
the special treatment
that you deserve.
498
00:19:12,482 --> 00:19:14,282
[ Bell tolls ]
499
00:19:14,292 --> 00:19:17,362
[ Vocalizing ]
500
00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:19,992
Thank you, Mayor.
501
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:23,552
It's a big responsibility,
but I suppose I have to accept.
502
00:19:23,562 --> 00:19:25,892
I will do my best
to serve this town.
503
00:19:25,902 --> 00:19:28,332
We know you will.
504
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:33,012
Okay, bring in the next one.
505
00:19:33,842 --> 00:19:37,071
Mr. Davis, you have proven
yourself a leader.
506
00:19:37,072 --> 00:19:39,941
And for all your service
to this community,
507
00:19:39,942 --> 00:19:42,772
we want to once and for all
declare you
508
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:45,281
our most elite food critic.
509
00:19:45,282 --> 00:19:48,851
To distinguish you,
we present the golden badge.
510
00:19:48,852 --> 00:19:49,482
Wow!
511
00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:50,492
McDANIELS: Wearing this badge
512
00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:51,921
means you will always get
513
00:19:51,922 --> 00:19:54,052
the special treatment
you deserve.
514
00:19:54,062 --> 00:19:55,661
[ Bell tolls ]
515
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:58,061
[ Vocalizing ]
516
00:19:58,062 --> 00:19:59,861
All right, we got
all the restaurants
517
00:19:59,862 --> 00:20:03,192
to agree to let the Yelpers in
and to make them feel special.
518
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,071
How did you do it, son?
519
00:20:05,072 --> 00:20:07,201
Ah, yes.
The steak, please.
520
00:20:07,202 --> 00:20:08,671
I'm the, uh, Yelp elite.
521
00:20:08,672 --> 00:20:11,972
All right, we got a Yelper.
Give it that special attention.
522
00:20:11,982 --> 00:20:14,811
You got it!
523
00:20:14,812 --> 00:20:16,042
[ Splat! ]
524
00:20:16,052 --> 00:20:20,321
♪ So you're one of Yelper's
special blessed ♪
525
00:20:20,322 --> 00:20:24,761
♪ You demand a restaurant's
very best ♪
526
00:20:24,762 --> 00:20:25,791
[ Splat! ]
527
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:27,891
♪ Well, they're gonna
treat you special ♪
528
00:20:27,892 --> 00:20:29,891
♪ I'm telling you, chum ♪
529
00:20:29,892 --> 00:20:31,692
[ Bell rings ]
530
00:20:31,702 --> 00:20:34,731
♪ Now get yourself ready
for some boogers and cum! ♪
531
00:20:34,732 --> 00:20:35,362
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
532
00:20:35,372 --> 00:20:37,701
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
♪ That's called
a Yelper special! ♪
533
00:20:37,702 --> 00:20:38,332
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
534
00:20:38,342 --> 00:20:39,771
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
♪ Say, what's that
on your pretzel? ♪
535
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:42,081
♪ Your online critiques
are real useful to some ♪
536
00:20:42,082 --> 00:20:45,672
♪ Now have a good time eating
boogers and cum! ♪
537
00:20:45,682 --> 00:20:46,312
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
538
00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:48,581
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
♪ Someone farted on your salad ♪
539
00:20:48,582 --> 00:20:49,222
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
540
00:20:49,212 --> 00:20:50,642
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
♪ But your decor critiques
are valid ♪
541
00:20:50,652 --> 00:20:52,951
♪ You think you're special,
like you're A number one ♪
542
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:56,421
♪ Well, there's a whole lot of
special in boogers and cum! ♪
543
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:57,062
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
544
00:20:57,052 --> 00:20:59,721
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
♪ How about some feces
with your flounder? ♪
545
00:20:59,722 --> 00:21:00,352
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
546
00:21:00,362 --> 00:21:01,861
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
♪ You like that queefy
quarter-pounder? ♪
547
00:21:01,862 --> 00:21:04,401
What's that spice that feels
tangy on my tongue?
548
00:21:04,402 --> 00:21:05,767
Oh, that's a yuzu pepper...
549
00:21:05,768 --> 00:21:08,292
[To himself] along with
some boogers and cum.
550
00:21:08,302 --> 00:21:09,142
Here you are, sir.
551
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:11,292
Thank you, David.
That's good service.
552
00:21:11,302 --> 00:21:13,162
I will bring you food
every day, my friend.
553
00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:15,411
Hmm, is that
a jalapeño cream sauce?
554
00:21:15,412 --> 00:21:17,811
Yes. My father made it
just for you.
555
00:21:17,812 --> 00:21:20,711
Hmm.
It's tart, but savory.
556
00:21:20,712 --> 00:21:21,342
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
557
00:21:21,352 --> 00:21:23,381
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
♪ Bein' a food critic's easy! ♪
558
00:21:23,382 --> 00:21:24,022
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
559
00:21:24,012 --> 00:21:25,372
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
♪ Oh, you feel
a little queasy? ♪
560
00:21:25,382 --> 00:21:28,482
♪ Do you need a diagnosis?
Well, the doctor's got one ♪
561
00:21:28,492 --> 00:21:31,761
Your stomach seems to be
filled with boogers and cum.
562
00:21:31,762 --> 00:21:32,392
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
563
00:21:32,393 --> 00:21:34,391
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
♪ Piss in your potatoes! ♪
564
00:21:34,392 --> 00:21:35,022
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
565
00:21:35,032 --> 00:21:37,131
♪ Boogers and cum! ♪
♪ Some guy shit on
your tomatoes ♪
566
00:21:37,132 --> 00:21:39,701
♪ All right, fancy food critic,
looks like you've won ♪
567
00:21:39,702 --> 00:21:41,871
♪ Now please enjoy all the ♪
568
00:21:41,872 --> 00:21:45,401
♪ Bo-o-o-o-gers ♪
569
00:21:45,402 --> 00:21:49,771
♪ Bo-o-o-o-gers ♪
570
00:21:49,772 --> 00:21:55,342
♪ and cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum! ♪
571
00:21:55,852 --> 00:21:56,782
Da-vid.
572
00:21:56,782 --> 00:21:57,242
Dav-id.
573
00:21:57,252 --> 00:21:58,182
Da-vid.
574
00:21:58,182 --> 00:21:59,012
Dav-id.
575
00:21:59,022 --> 00:21:59,452
Da-viiid.
576
00:21:59,453 --> 00:22:01,021
Dav-id, Dav-id,
Dav-id, Dav-id!
577
00:22:01,022 --> 00:22:02,621
I can update this
to a one-star review
578
00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:05,162
in two seconds, dude.
579
00:22:07,922 --> 00:22:10,992
Oh, God, I love being
a restaurant critic.